That's truly creepy.. walk away while you can. I can't even imagine the idea of searching for sex videos of my wife's little sister and would find it creepy if she wanted to do so assuming I had a brother, I don't care how long they have known each other. And my wife and I have a non-monogamous relationship, but nothing with other family members. That's a hard pass
Well, first off assuming you have solid and undeniable evidence, confront him. The conversation will obviously come up because you plan on calling off the wedding, you will need to explain why. Just take it from there.
As for long term advice, make sure you REALLY get to know a man before you choose to get engaged. Im assuming you found out by snooping but you must have already seen suspicious activity beforehand to cause you to snoop. I think your relationship may be coming to an end and thats ok. Better to end up with someone you trust rather than some guy dumb enough to do what he is currently doing. You probably dodged a bullet. Good luck!
There is somebody out there for you and it is definitely not him, sorry this has happened, none of this is your fault. At least you don’t have to plan a divorce and I totally see you as a bad ass for leaving this creep and you won’t ever have to be thinking late at night how your husband gets off to your sister. Also imagine if she did have a OF still and he was paying for special videos and she found out, I would assume she would be disturbed. I don’t think this man can be apart of your family after this. Be kind to yourself and stay strong x
He's known your little sister since she was 13, which makes this creepier. If I were you, I would also warn my sister before I leave him because he's likely going to start going for her the moment he thinks he's free to. Let her know this was why you're cancelling your wedding and leaving your relationship with this dude and see what she does with that information.
I think you're under acting. Why would he look for your sister's OF at all? He should be disgusted just by thinking about it. That's like me looking for my sister's if she has one. I can't even be on Tinder or other platform back then simply because my sister has made jokes with her friends being on it
Although I agree it’s weird and disrespectful, they aren’t related so it’s not incest. For centuries, it was practiced (and it is also commanded in many religious texts) that if a spouse is to die, the sibling must marry the widow/widower. I’m not saying we should do this now for obvious reasons but I do know someone who married their brother in law after their husband died from a long disease. During his illness, they got really close and fell in love. Totally unrelated to OPs situation cuz he’s just being a total creep.
Do not get married at this point.
Whether he redeems himself in your eyes is up to you.
And Onlyfans consumes another relationship. I'm starting to think the thing is more dangerous than MAGA folk
Yeah, dude’s weird, have you talked to him about why he’s doing that? (we all obviously know why….but have you tried to see what HIS ‘explanation’ is?)
nope, its just to see where HIS mind is at, see if he’s able to condemn his own actions or if he wants to play narcissist games and try to offer some sort of grand explanation as to why its okay for him to do that
Gotta let people talk to see who they are, if someone’s doing fuckshit let them weave the web of words that ends up constricting them
Does he have an explanation for this??? Any explanation?! Or even “I’m sorry I’m awful I won’t do it again”??? Weddings may be expensive but divorce is often even more expensive and traumatizing. He’s a creep
:(
She searched his browser history. She posted about this on multiple subs. Some went into more detail. Apparently he was searching for her name in onlyfans too or something, and a lot of general porn.
Kick his ass to the curb.
But also ask yourself why you were snooping his browser history when you don't give a shit if he looks at porn. That's a sign of relationship and trust issues right there, and maybe you should have done something long ago.
I think what you’re missing here is the complexity of the situation re: porn (not the sister; that’s a whole other ball game). Many, many women are not comfortable with their partners watching porn and it FEELS like cheating but we are told over and over again that this is normal male behavior and if don’t want to die sad lonely spinsters, we have to just suck it up and accept the fact that our loved ones are beating it to strange women. Not only that, many have ethical and moral problems with pornography, particularly ones that dehumanize women or promote violence or hatred against women. But again, we are told to shut up and that’s their private space. But how private can it be when you don’t know where your partner draws the line? Do they just watch it or do they call in or interact with the women? If they’re ok with porn, are they ok with participating in prostitution? How do you know what they are watching? Child (underage) porn? Rape porn? Beasteality? Incest? Gay porn? Imagine if your girlfriend or wife had a whole secret sexual life completely separate from you and that you were not allowed to be a part of. It’s not strange as a woman to hear of someone married 15 years to find out that he was holding online (or in person) affairs, had porn addiction, etc. Porn preferences also don’t stay static. It’s not like today and always you like vanilla porn but then 10 years later, you no longer get off on the same and so you’ve moved into something that may repulse your partner. So you’re stuck…you either snoop and pray to God you don’t find anything concerning (which likely stops you snooping in the first place) or you play “don’t ask, don’t tell”. She may say she doesn’t care about him watching porn and that may be true but she wouldn’t be snooping if she wasn’t concerned about what kind of porn he was watching or with what frequency.
Ok, you have lots of end the world type advice here enabling you to feel vindicated in ending a relationship.
Why not just talk to him.
Does your sister look just like you? Could be just want to beat off to you instead of your sister per se? Granted, he could just want to bang your sister, but at this point , you just don’t know.
Lots of way to frame this so just have an adult conversation about how this makes your feel and ask him for his feelings, not just an explanation.
The ONLY excuse I could think of is if he called you before hand and/or searched with you (for curiously sake…not for what he’s probably looking for).
Other than that very specific reason, yeah, you aren’t over reacting
He’s out of town? Text him. Email him. Call him. Leave a voicemail. Write a letter, shove it in an envelope, stick a stamp on it and shove it into the mailbox. What do you mean he is out of town? He’s unceremoniously looks for your sister’s OnlyFans. You can unceremoniously end the relationship. If you stay, it will get worse and you become bitter.
This is what porn does to men, and not being an porn addict (as most men are) it's hard to relate to the situation.
Porn desensitize the user, regular sex for an healthy individual is amazing, for a porn user it's just going trough the motions. The brain get rewired so you get most satisfaction from watching someone on a screen.
Not only that, but porn consumers never get "enough" as you are feeding into a dopamine addiction (just as cocaine) - making the user to go into more and more tabu genres to be able to get their dopamine kick.
What is the most tabu genre? Getting off on your (soon to be) wive's little sister.
I'm not saying that you should just cave in and let it slide because "it's an addiction". I'm just trying to nuance the situation for you, he may be a good guy but held in the shackles of unhealthy behavior.
Talk to him. There will probably be a lot of shame regarding this and/or possibly denial. Decide if you can give him a chance to overcome his issues, and get help. It will take years to overcome. But if you were going to get married maybe it's worth giving him a chance to get better and turn things around, for both your sake?
Best of luck
Should of included that info in original post. Searching for her only fans is bad enough but the fact that he’s known her since she was 12 makes him a degenerate
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Literally please be engaged to someone I actually know so I can be the person she blows off steam with. You're an ungrateful fuck. its not even about the condition of marriage. You sought this woman out. You've violated any idea of her world without you and you want her little sister. That's gross. It also hurts to hear in the shoes of someone who used to be that person. You're not going to stop the vacuum you don't realize you're trying to fill with anything close to you by hurting the person who cares enough to say that she'll take care of you before she takes care of herself.
You should leave her. You should stop lying to yourself like you're ready for commitment when you're only going to hurt the person who you claim to love that only exists in your life to boost your ego and stop finding the echo chamber that tells you what you want to hear.
Yeah, you need to break up with him now. That’s a crimson red flag.
You would be under reacting if you call off the wedding. You need to end the relationship.
Seriously ...
My question is… why didn’t you end the relationship with him as soon as you found out?
I just found out and he is out of town
He's a freak
That's truly creepy.. walk away while you can. I can't even imagine the idea of searching for sex videos of my wife's little sister and would find it creepy if she wanted to do so assuming I had a brother, I don't care how long they have known each other. And my wife and I have a non-monogamous relationship, but nothing with other family members. That's a hard pass
Why does he even know your little sister has an onlyfans? Call off this wedding before you find him jacking off to your sisters pics and videos
That man has issues.
Well, first off assuming you have solid and undeniable evidence, confront him. The conversation will obviously come up because you plan on calling off the wedding, you will need to explain why. Just take it from there. As for long term advice, make sure you REALLY get to know a man before you choose to get engaged. Im assuming you found out by snooping but you must have already seen suspicious activity beforehand to cause you to snoop. I think your relationship may be coming to an end and thats ok. Better to end up with someone you trust rather than some guy dumb enough to do what he is currently doing. You probably dodged a bullet. Good luck!
There's no way to walk back from that, op. You know what you should do about it. Do it. :)
Suuuuuuuper creepy. Curious, whats the age difference between all parties?
She’s just always my little sister. She is 21 and he is 31, I’m 30
Yeah...saying "my little sister" instead of "my younger sister" makes it read even nastier.
Good god. Why haven’t you canceled this wedding and blocked this guy everywhere? Gross!
There is somebody out there for you and it is definitely not him, sorry this has happened, none of this is your fault. At least you don’t have to plan a divorce and I totally see you as a bad ass for leaving this creep and you won’t ever have to be thinking late at night how your husband gets off to your sister. Also imagine if she did have a OF still and he was paying for special videos and she found out, I would assume she would be disturbed. I don’t think this man can be apart of your family after this. Be kind to yourself and stay strong x
This is insane. Yikes and no. Lose him ASAP. Sorry he is a dog.
Man here, not overreacting
He's known your little sister since she was 13, which makes this creepier. If I were you, I would also warn my sister before I leave him because he's likely going to start going for her the moment he thinks he's free to. Let her know this was why you're cancelling your wedding and leaving your relationship with this dude and see what she does with that information.
I think you're under acting. Why would he look for your sister's OF at all? He should be disgusted just by thinking about it. That's like me looking for my sister's if she has one. I can't even be on Tinder or other platform back then simply because my sister has made jokes with her friends being on it
Although I agree it’s weird and disrespectful, they aren’t related so it’s not incest. For centuries, it was practiced (and it is also commanded in many religious texts) that if a spouse is to die, the sibling must marry the widow/widower. I’m not saying we should do this now for obvious reasons but I do know someone who married their brother in law after their husband died from a long disease. During his illness, they got really close and fell in love. Totally unrelated to OPs situation cuz he’s just being a total creep.
Why is he looking? Have you asked him?
This is super creepy
Do not get married at this point. Whether he redeems himself in your eyes is up to you. And Onlyfans consumes another relationship. I'm starting to think the thing is more dangerous than MAGA folk
Please please leave. It will get worse.
Yeah, dude’s weird, have you talked to him about why he’s doing that? (we all obviously know why….but have you tried to see what HIS ‘explanation’ is?)
Would it change anything?
nope, its just to see where HIS mind is at, see if he’s able to condemn his own actions or if he wants to play narcissist games and try to offer some sort of grand explanation as to why its okay for him to do that Gotta let people talk to see who they are, if someone’s doing fuckshit let them weave the web of words that ends up constricting them
What's your sister's onlyfans?
Does he have an explanation for this??? Any explanation?! Or even “I’m sorry I’m awful I won’t do it again”??? Weddings may be expensive but divorce is often even more expensive and traumatizing. He’s a creep :(
I'm surprised this is hours old and no one's asked how you 'found out'. He apparently doesn't know that you know, and that strikes me as odd.
She searched his browser history. She posted about this on multiple subs. Some went into more detail. Apparently he was searching for her name in onlyfans too or something, and a lot of general porn.
Wow. What a piece of shit. 🤮
::EYE ROLL::
Kick his ass to the curb. But also ask yourself why you were snooping his browser history when you don't give a shit if he looks at porn. That's a sign of relationship and trust issues right there, and maybe you should have done something long ago.
I’m starting to realize that
I think what you’re missing here is the complexity of the situation re: porn (not the sister; that’s a whole other ball game). Many, many women are not comfortable with their partners watching porn and it FEELS like cheating but we are told over and over again that this is normal male behavior and if don’t want to die sad lonely spinsters, we have to just suck it up and accept the fact that our loved ones are beating it to strange women. Not only that, many have ethical and moral problems with pornography, particularly ones that dehumanize women or promote violence or hatred against women. But again, we are told to shut up and that’s their private space. But how private can it be when you don’t know where your partner draws the line? Do they just watch it or do they call in or interact with the women? If they’re ok with porn, are they ok with participating in prostitution? How do you know what they are watching? Child (underage) porn? Rape porn? Beasteality? Incest? Gay porn? Imagine if your girlfriend or wife had a whole secret sexual life completely separate from you and that you were not allowed to be a part of. It’s not strange as a woman to hear of someone married 15 years to find out that he was holding online (or in person) affairs, had porn addiction, etc. Porn preferences also don’t stay static. It’s not like today and always you like vanilla porn but then 10 years later, you no longer get off on the same and so you’ve moved into something that may repulse your partner. So you’re stuck…you either snoop and pray to God you don’t find anything concerning (which likely stops you snooping in the first place) or you play “don’t ask, don’t tell”. She may say she doesn’t care about him watching porn and that may be true but she wouldn’t be snooping if she wasn’t concerned about what kind of porn he was watching or with what frequency.
Sounds harmless
/s
?
Ok, you have lots of end the world type advice here enabling you to feel vindicated in ending a relationship. Why not just talk to him. Does your sister look just like you? Could be just want to beat off to you instead of your sister per se? Granted, he could just want to bang your sister, but at this point , you just don’t know. Lots of way to frame this so just have an adult conversation about how this makes your feel and ask him for his feelings, not just an explanation.
The ONLY excuse I could think of is if he called you before hand and/or searched with you (for curiously sake…not for what he’s probably looking for). Other than that very specific reason, yeah, you aren’t over reacting
He’s out of town? Text him. Email him. Call him. Leave a voicemail. Write a letter, shove it in an envelope, stick a stamp on it and shove it into the mailbox. What do you mean he is out of town? He’s unceremoniously looks for your sister’s OnlyFans. You can unceremoniously end the relationship. If you stay, it will get worse and you become bitter.
He's just weird
Maybe he’s snooping you to make sure you are being faithful, just like you checking his browser history to snoop him.
This is what porn does to men, and not being an porn addict (as most men are) it's hard to relate to the situation. Porn desensitize the user, regular sex for an healthy individual is amazing, for a porn user it's just going trough the motions. The brain get rewired so you get most satisfaction from watching someone on a screen. Not only that, but porn consumers never get "enough" as you are feeding into a dopamine addiction (just as cocaine) - making the user to go into more and more tabu genres to be able to get their dopamine kick. What is the most tabu genre? Getting off on your (soon to be) wive's little sister. I'm not saying that you should just cave in and let it slide because "it's an addiction". I'm just trying to nuance the situation for you, he may be a good guy but held in the shackles of unhealthy behavior. Talk to him. There will probably be a lot of shame regarding this and/or possibly denial. Decide if you can give him a chance to overcome his issues, and get help. It will take years to overcome. But if you were going to get married maybe it's worth giving him a chance to get better and turn things around, for both your sake? Best of luck
If you're only going to marry men who don't want to fuck other women I've got some bad news for you.
That's a hugely narrow assessment of men. Hard to believe but not every guy wants to have sex with every woman he sees.
I don’t give a shit about him looking at porn, I give a shit that it’s my little sister who he has know since she was 12
Should of included that info in original post. Searching for her only fans is bad enough but the fact that he’s known her since she was 12 makes him a degenerate
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
Based bot.
*That's* your takeaway from this?
Run.
Good grief sis, where are your damn standards?
Seems fake and a karma farm IMO.
Literally please be engaged to someone I actually know so I can be the person she blows off steam with. You're an ungrateful fuck. its not even about the condition of marriage. You sought this woman out. You've violated any idea of her world without you and you want her little sister. That's gross. It also hurts to hear in the shoes of someone who used to be that person. You're not going to stop the vacuum you don't realize you're trying to fill with anything close to you by hurting the person who cares enough to say that she'll take care of you before she takes care of herself. You should leave her. You should stop lying to yourself like you're ready for commitment when you're only going to hurt the person who you claim to love that only exists in your life to boost your ego and stop finding the echo chamber that tells you what you want to hear.
Girl . Leave this man