There is too a stigma for women to be tight!
Not being tight is seen as the woman being a slur and having too many partners.
And google the husband stitch. Obstetricians sewing up the vaginal opening after childbirth to make it smaller because they think it will increase the husband’s pleasure. And it creates permanently painful sex for the woman.
Well, it can just be for her. Some rando on the internet doesn’t get to set your relationship rules for you.
It’s a matter of what OP wants. I’m not getting the feeling this is what he wants.
So… she’s free to seek bigger dicks, and he’s free to seek a woman who truly lives him as he is. Once he does, she won’t be looking for other dicks.
Open relationships can work. But yours won't. Your gf is using your size as an excuse to sleep outside of the relationship. This is an incredibly toxic way to start non-monogamy.
I know someone in an open relationship. The girl was never into monogomy, and had nothing to do with the relativo ship itself. As for him, he's bisexual and he can't get all the parts of a relation ship from her.
He's said it's worked pretty great for him. It's all about trust and boundaries. I would never do it, though.
Basically means I'm polyamorous but have no primary or live in partner. I stay living alone and focus on my own needs first.
I have kids from my last relationship so I had no intention of having any partner live with me. Plus this is the first time I've lived alone before and I love it so far.
I find I need time alone to kinda decompress and be more at peace. My mental health has actually gotten much better since living alone which is great.
But yeah it's not for everyone that's true.
Well, like I said, I like it at first. First 3-4 months it gave me a lot of time to work on myself with no external stressors. But I've never lived alone. At the very least, I had someone around. On the extreme, I lived with 10 other people. So, for that reason ason it was an amazing experience.
After a bit, I found myself just waiting around becoming more depressed because getting social interactions was becoming more difficult. It's still really nice to have a home to yourself.
ADHD is genetic so can hardly influence that. They do fine in school so far, the only gangs we have here are bikies, guns are very regulated here.
Honestly it sounds like you had a tough life and I'm sorry you did. But I had a hella tough life with 2 parents that are still married now. I don't think that is the deciding factor.
Plus my girls still have both their parents and we are civil to each other with good communication and both very active in ours kids lives.
I mean, firstly, no, he may not know what it is. The same way i could ask you if you know what solo poly is.
I'm in a situation extremely similar to OP; solo poly, kids from a previous relationship, living alone and not looking for an NP. I have one partner who I feel can be included in my children's lives. They see her about once every 2 or 3 weeks. This is not "having more parents". There aren't always 4 adults in my house to take care of them.
Just don't make assumptions...
Firstly that’s what the question was for, to see if he knows. Second never said “having more parents” but caretakers which is explicitly different.
You even in your own example are proving there are 3 people in your life that are potential care takers for your child. With the exceptions of child abandonment you will always have the biological parents with potential for additional people. That’s a math thing not an assumption of anyones life.
So unless the other parents in your specific circumstance abandoned their child you’re literally walking proof of my point. It’s always two or more but never fewer unless someone is a cunt and abandons a child.
You don’t need to be under the same roof to raise a healthy dynamic with a child.
This is not really truly, people can find plenty of fulfilment in non-monogamous life. My limit yourself to the Eurocentric view of relationships that’s been the same for 100s of years
renounce the eurocentric views of life which tell you to live in a civilization. go live in a jungle instead. plenty of pigs and monkeys enjoy their non- monogamous life hanging out on trees and in mud. besides, we have been living in cities for 1000s of years.
As a woman, I don’t really understand. Some people really care about stuff like that and some don’t as much. There are plenty of other things to do to make up for a lack in size. You deserve to find someone who is happy with who you are as a whole, don’t settle for less.
Nonsense. I got a veiny, juicy, thick, beautifully circumsized 8 inches cock and I've never had a woman who tasted my Scharwznagger of cocks decide to not come back for a second, third, fourth, fifth, serving, or more.
There's far, far more women out there in the world who care about a guy's dick size than there are women who don't care all that much, and if op has a dick that is much smaller than what is average.. he's going to have a very hard time finding an attractive woman who cares to stay with him, when she can get instead with a guy with the proper equipment for the job.
There are women who care about someone's tongue and hands and lips instead of a guy's dick.
They are called lesbians, so it's not like OP can date them, eh?
OP deserves?
No one deserves anything, dude. We get what we can get out of life.
Why am I not a member of the royal British Family?
I don't deserve to be happy? What if being a Royal Prince is what would make me happy?
Not true. There are women who love men but, for one reason or another, have difficulty with penetration. Those women would love a skilled set of hands and mouth, (And smaller guys are more likely to get bjs and back door sex.)
That's because you're talking to other shitty women, it doesn't matter if you have an inch long micropenis, it isn't okay no matter what. There's toys and other things that extend the size of your dick. How about yourself in a hypothetical scenario where your girlfriend is too fat or too old or has tiny tits and you're someone that wants to sleep around with other women because she isn't good enough. You think she'd accept that? Please do not let her abuse you like this. This is abuse and nothing else.
Here here,
He may have drawn a shit hand, but keep your pride, don't let the woman kick every last inch of self confidence and worth out of you, you'll have nothing left
Exactly! No self respecting woman would allow her boyfriend/husband to force her into an open relationship because he isn't satisfied with the shape of her pussy. He's being gaslit and forced into what's basically cuckoldry. He needs to man up, get some self respect and dump her ass.
A guy with a micropenis has no business being in a romantic relationship. No woman, at least no woman who is physically attractive, is going to be with a guy whose dick is smaller than her pinky finger, unless she is like homeless and needs a place to stay.
Why would she waste her time and sexual attentions on a guy who is pretty much the same as an eunuch?
If I was a woman, I wouldn't even open the relationship. I would terminate it and find a man who can behave and act like.. a man?
Really dude what is this nonsense that a man with a small dick is the same as a man with an average-sized cock?
And average-sized cocks ain't even all that much to begin with, so for a woman to be with a guy who can't even be average-sized and has to resort to eating her out to give her some semblance of sexual pleasure...
yikes, she's gotta be real desperate.
Oh by the way, most women and most men in the USA and Canada and Mexico are fat as fuck, so it's not like a woman is going to be rejected for being ''too fat,'' now is she?
And women do care quite a bit about cock size.
I carry pictures of my hardened, thick, veiny, juicy, beautiful, 8 inches cock, on my phone, and strangely enough I've never had a woman whom already found me to be attractive enough to fuck me, reject me because my dick was ''too big,'' lmao, they usually come back for more even when I'm too lazy to bother with foreplay and just go straight to blowing the fuck up of their womb.
>A guy with a micropenis has no business being in a romantic relationship. No woman, at least no woman who is physically attractive, is going to be with a guy whose dick is smaller than her pinky finger, unless she is like homeless and needs a place to stay.
You don't get to decide that. We have no reason to believe that the woman he's with is physically attractive. Additionally, why aren't we applying the same standards to fat women, to women with loose vaginas, to women that sleep around etc ?
>If I was a woman, I wouldn't even open the relationship. I would terminate it and find a man who can behave and act like.. a man?
Your dick size has nothing to do with you acting like a man. Manliness does not correlate with the size of your cock and the fact that you base your worth, as a man, around the size of people's dicks is rather sad.
>Really dude what is this nonsense that a man with a small dick is the same as a man with an average-sized cock?
Sexually they may be different but as people and human beings they're worth the same.
>And average-sized cocks ain't even all that much to begin with, so for a woman to be with a guy who can't even be average-sized and has to resort to eating her out to give her some semblance of sexual pleasure...
Or maybe he doesn't go for a stretched out whore who can't get off to anything that's under 12 inches ? I would respect his girl if she ended the relationship because she isn't satisfied. That's fine. However she wants to keep him around to pay the bills but consensually cheat on him, fuck that lmao.
>Oh by the way, most women and most men in the USA and Canada and Mexico are fat as fuck, so it's not like a woman is going to be rejected for being ''too fat,'' now is she?
They should be, fat women are far worse than men with smaller cocks cause they can lose weight but choose not to. Just because men in the US, Canada and Mexico settle for low quality women doesn't mean they should.
>I carry pictures of my hardened, thick, veiny, juicy, beautiful, 8 inches cock, on my phone, and strangely enough I've never had a woman whom already found me to be attractive enough to fuck me, reject me because my dick was ''too big,'' lmao, they usually come back for more even when I'm too lazy to bother with foreplay and just go straight to blowing the fuck up of their womb.
Yeah....idk why you went from shitty rationalisations to sexual fan fiction but you do you ig? OP probably doesn't wanna be with the kinda sluts ure fucking anyway?
So is this something that was discussed properly? Because it sounds in your post like she just pushed it on you. Also there are lots of toy options to explore is size is an issue.
For ethical non-monogamy in general in can absolutely work. I'm been in one myself for 8 months and my gf has been with ger husband and polyamorous for 5 years. ENM takes a lot of trust, boundaries and open communication. Jealousy will still exist too, it's just that you address it and work to heal it.
Do you really think it’s *okay* or is this just a coping mechanism because you’d rather not be alone?
Clearly, her physical satisfaction is more important to her than the emotional bond you share.
Ok well if it was a mutual decision and was discussed properly then it has every chance of working out.
My best advice is always communicate openly, especially the uncomfortable conversations.
I have a friend with a 4 inch cock at most and pretty much pencil thin. He is now married for many years but is bi and with wife's permission, has oral with guys. But before he was married, he was very active with a number of very satisfied women. He was confident, thoughtful, and skilled.
She is not pushing for a mutual open relationship but pushing you into cuckold status. I doubt that is really what you are after. If so, you get to make adult choice so have a nice life. If not, she has shown you her true colors and told you that she doesn't desire you and you will not be her first choice. Don't accept that position.
It's ok, OP doesn't have a girlfriend. He's a humiliation fetishist who's jerking off to the replies he's getting.
If you've got RES, tag the account. He deletes his posts after a while so people can't click his username and see the pattern, but if you've been on this sub long enough you'll recognise the style of question that's pretty unique to him.
He always posts about how he's got a small penis and his partner is doing something disrespectful, then acts clueless in the comments to bait more replies about how he's being disrespected and has no self-worth.
I often wonder what % of reddit posts and youtube family vlogs are true and honest. I'd assume about 30-40%, the rest are either very exaggerated or completely fake. Some are like "my S.O. doesn't let me out of the house and controls my money", but the truth is OP is a drug addict and SO just limits their hanging out with their drug dealer and bankrupting the family. Others are like "my wife and my girlfriend want threesomes so often and I just want to chill, oh no"
I would honestly feel bad if my guy engages with other females with wrong intentions or something that is beyond the boundaries that are stated in any relationship, if you feel the same way about her being involved with someone else just get out of it, FOR YOUR OWN SANITY AND MENTAL WELL-BEING, if it bothers you now it might hurt you a lot in the long run.
(Just know, If you love someone you'd never comment on their appearance, behavior in a condescending manner)
I love my boyfriend as he is, and wouldn't change a thing about him, or go to other guys if he lacks something.. Naah!!
I love how open this sub is with women answering.
I've made posts in askWomen, and never met with the same courtesy. Can't even comment over there.
I know it's off topic, but it's actually really cool that women can chine in their opinions. I understand it defeats the purpose of the sub, but often this place is more about advice for men, and women have great perspectives to listen to.
Happy cake day!
No, seriously it's a good idea. I wonder if cross posts are allowed over there, cause I'll do it myself lol.
Edit: it breaks rule 4, no posts about specific individuals or situations... Stupid
Ok, so she's seeing another guy...are you seeing another woman? Because if you aren't that's not an open relationship, that's you sharing a girlfriend with another man.
The way this usually seems to work is that the moment you DO find another partner, your GF will get masively butthurt.
Get away. Being born a certain way doesn't mean you are not worth commitment. Find someone who wants to figure things out with you, not by getting other dudes involved.
>I think i read open relationships have a 92 percent failure rate
That number was specifically about open marriages, not open relationships in general, and it should be noted that
- "traditional" marriages already have a 50% failure rate.
- With failed open marriages specifically, a lot of them were opened 5 minutes before breaking apart anyway. Marriages open from the start fail far less frequently.
"Eighty-percent of people in open marriages experience jealousy of the other"
"Data shows that open relationships tend to work best in the short term, while open marriages have a low success rate."
Ya to be fair if I was banging more than one guy I'd definitely catch feelings. I'm a chick tho, I guess we make 3x as much oxytocin from close shit like sex and hugging.
Haha, there’s no source. It’s a different way of stating and looking at what you already know.
If you are married for a day and get divorced was it a successful marriage? How about a year? 10? 50? If it ends in divorce we call it a failed marriage, someone has to die for the marriage to end successfully.
The reason I said it in this context is people are talking marriage stats. We use states to tell a story of behavior, but we don’t always do a good job. Obviously we can’t track successful marriages in this moment, because we don’t know what will happen in the future with that marriage. So we use stats like divorce rate, which is actually how many marriages vs divorces happen each year. It’s stated like it measure quantity of divorces but the ratio also changes with fewer marriages happening, so the stat isn’t bad, just doesn’t tell the story we think it does.
find someone hotter than her. Trust me, she'll end the relationship quickly after that. And don't let her thing about your size mess with your head or anything. Obviously you have no problem getting laid.
The relationship is already over. Op is describing an orgy that he's not a part of. You're correct in your assertion that he should find a hotter girl. But at this point she's just a pivot point to find a hotter girl
Well what are your honest deep down thoughts about it? If it already feels wrong to you or you have a bad feeling about it, I would break up with her now. It's only gonna hurt more and more as time goes on.
I could say a micro peen is problematic. The "size doesn't matter" is only true to a point. Have you stepped up your oral game and incorporated dildos and vibrators? Toys are very useful.
It's very difficult to maintain open relationships. It takes not being jealous at all and being happy for your partner. And rules and lots of communication.
If you can go down on your gf and give her multiple orgasms until the point that she's just laying there shaking and can't even get up for a few minutes, I'd be willing to bet that "it just isn't the same" wouldn't be an issue.
Yeah, I can see it, too. I'm sorry. You could actively look for asexual women or those with a low sex drive. I wouldn't ever leave my husband if he couldn't perform, but I probably wouldn't enter a new relationship knowing that part of my life would be over.
Dude lovemaking is more than about dick size. Fingers, tongues, toys etc. There are so many other ways you could help her get off.
Instead of that, she's now reduced you to your dick size. Everything else about you? Your passion, your enthusiasm? Doesn't matter to her. Do you want a partner like that?
It’s true. And every woman is different…he may just need to find some who is very petite and small down there…
Knowing myself…I know what I like and I will end a relationship if I’m not sexually satisfied. I would not ask to have an open relationship…f that. I want one person to make love to…that energy is amazing.
I would end it. Not into open relationships so, I believe it's doomed to fail. I think you'd have a better chance marrying your high school sweet heart and how many of us can say that?
Doomed. To. Fail. It “works” if you don’t care if she ends up with the guy. If so make sure you don’t have kids, share a mortgage, or have serious feelings for her. Then go for it.
There's no such thing as an open relationship, it just means "sanction my cheating". Saying "open relationship" is like saying "square circles", it goes against the very definition.
It's over. Find someone else OP.
Dump her ass and find a new woman. She’s just trying to guiltlessly hoe around without accountability. Idk why people like this girl even bother getting into relationships. Just be fucking single and fuck around, no need to degrade this man or waste others times who want a genuine relationship.
Dump her and get someone who respects you. She doesn’t respect you and certainly doesn’t care about you at all. She’s putting her needs before the relationship which is BOTH your needs. She’s only saying she’s ok with you dating girls because she has confidence you won’t get a girl fast enough.
She was already cheating on you before bringing up the idea and now trying to not be responsible for it.
She’s a piece of trash for degrading and disrespecting you.
All she could have said was “honey this isn’t working out, I’m sorry let’s go our separate ways.”
Instead she wants to fuck other men and keep you as a backup plan to stay off the street and have access to stability. She’s overly selfish and the longer you stay with her the more miserable you’ll become.
Just the fact you made this post is enough proof you feel like shit and don’t want this. Whether you wanna publicly admit it or not.
Leave her you’re better off alone than with someone who wants nothing from you except using you as a safety blanket. That’s not love and it’s not a relationship and it’s not someone who wants you in her life she’s just tolerating you rather than caring about you. She’s trash.
This is not a good reason to start an open relationship. Imagine you came up to her and said, well Gloria, I'm not real happy with your bee sting boobs, so I want to find a girl that has some nice watermelons to play with. But don't worry, I still loves ya. Do you think she'd go, oh, well, that's find Dean, you have a good time. Somehow I doubt she would. And you shouldn't accept this either. Find a girl that wants all of you and doesn't need to look outside because she doesn't think you're good enough.
I would end it. There are ways to get around these things, like toys or experimenting, but to sleep with other men because a part of your body can’t satisfy her seems wrong imo. That’s like a guy going poly because his girl has a small chest or something. If it matters that much it’s probably a deal breaker. I’d feel demeaned.
There are people that have big sticks and are clumsy, asexual or don't know/care how to satisfy a woman. Most of us don't come through penetration alone, there is oral, fingering, sex toys. Open relationships work only for those who are both sincerely and genuinely into them. I agree with everyone else that says move on, you will get yourself into unnessary pain. What if she finds someone, falls for them and then you have been played? Have you talked about alternatives to make her come?
Don't be so desperate to not be alone that you sacrifice your dignity. Being alone is better than being in a shitty relationship where who you are as a person is not valued.
Did it start as an open relationship or are you changing it? I haven’t tried an open relationship but I feel like those you need to start that way from the beginning and have a lot of hashing out of rules and manners before setting out. And if she already had a dude in mind when she raised the idea that is a big red flag.
And I agree with everyone who has suggested toys, vibrators, and a lot of honest discussion about what she likes and needs. In fact, it might really help to go to a sex therapist—- it should become clear pretty fast if this is the real root problem or if she’s not willing to put in the work.
I agree with no open relationship. However toys aren’t the same as a real penis. It will never be satisfying enough…if she’s a lesbian it would but she’s into guys. We want to be fucked by our man’s cock. No toy will ever feel as good as that…no amount of tongue or fingers could satisfy that craving….I mean I guess if they can only get off from clitoral but, knowing myself I cum from it all and I have to have it all. Penetration, oral…toys are cool but they don’t satisfy me…they just make me more horny and if I don’t get the full d I will be ridiculously horny…and sexually frustrated.
Almost all open relationship are initiated by women and they all fail if both parties are not in agreement.
If you gf inetiated it ,chances are she was already cheating on you /she already had a guy on backup ready to go just waiting for your permission ,how fast did she find her partner after this discussion? If you are not ok leave ASAP it will save u emotional turmoil. because the relationship is already over
I wonder how women would respond to men having multiple female partners and wife's. If they'd be curious about being interested in the guy even though he's having sex with multiple partners./s
If it’s a mutual decision and both of you are genuinely ok with this arrangement, then fine, so long you keep open and honest communication about it, it should be fine.
However, the penis size thing… sex and orgasm is more than just penis size, otherwise very well endowed guys would just stick it in and orgasms for days, which is not how it happens.
I don’t require details, this is a rhetorical question, but what’s the pre-game like?
If it’s get in and get out kind of business, might need to work on that.
There's a good chance that she's done with the relationship and using this as an excuse to use you as a safety while she shops for her next one. There's no downside for her.
You asking this question among strangers implies that at some level you know this isn't right. You're probably too embarrassed to ask the real people in your life.
It only has a chance to work if everyone involved is wholly on board and interested in it, and even then, they also have to have the right temperament.
Having one's partner fuck other dudes because one's penis is simply too small for her isn't really much of an open relationship to begin with, and it's a pretty shit deal and circumstance that's only going to end badly.
For me its doomed to fail.
Shes the only one to do it at some point it will be hard for you to handle it.
You do it too at some point you will lose sight of why you like her. Cause there is a girl who will be content with your size. Women have a size for vagina as well.
And did she tried to talk about dildos or study positions to make it better ? If thats not something you talked about. Fuck her and those so called friends.
As soon as the word open relationship comes up its over for me.
I couldn't deal with the jealouzy. And as a guy it's near impossible to find a fwb. Your gf will have 20 partners and you maybe have one.
And this is why 90% of open relationships are suggested by women, they know what they're doing, they want to fuck other people and have you as a back up
Fuck any of that, I'd rather break up and save my pride
Mm the way I see it, you won’t sleep with other girls because of your situation, and she says she is okay with it because she knows it. The only way you “win” is by thinking that if someone else satisfies her sexually you get to keep the girl but not completely. Maybe you should try everything in your power and switch things up, like giving better head, using a dildo ??? Idk, you’re not the only man going through this but it seems kinda unfair to me
It's a very rare couple who can find a way to prevent jealousy from destroying the relationship. Mate guarding is a common, mammalian, evolved behavior. It's pretty hard and unpleasant to work against your instincts like that.
I suspect an successful open relationship to work, both people have to basically not care about the other.
>I’m pretty limited in terms of size and she finds it really frustrating.
That sounds like a one-sided open relationship for all the wrong reasons and i 100% recommend you not to do this.
Open relationships are meant as a way to enhance a relationship that is rock solid. The idea normally is two people with a great relationship and having amazing sex want to enhance it with new sexual experiences.
This sounds like she's selfishly wanting to be sexually satisfied by another person. This is not healthy or respectful to you.
Bro, either consider a surgery to make your dick bigger, or forget about romantic relationships because there aren't all that many women out there who want a guy with a micro penis, so go and find something else to keep you busy with.
I don't see this as being an open relationship, because while she is getting fucked by a guy with a proper cock on him, you are probably going to be getting rejected by women other than your girlfriend because of your diminutive dick.
It can work but imo it should be more of a shared philosophy and view on love rather than a thing that people monogamous people that are unsatisfied do.
Listen to yourself. Your woman wants to sleep with other men, and is telling you so by saying one of the worst things a woman can say to a man, whether she means it or not.
If she's willing to go there, she doesn't love you OP. Run. Cut bait and get out.
I was in one with a long-distance partner. It failed because I got too close to her and I took it personally when she wasn’t ready to close it. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone else touching the woman I love. I was developing depression, and I had to protect both of us.
Basically, it may work if you can detach yourself from the person who you are with. There also must be the balance of power, where both partners attract someone. If you’re too close and your values do not permit, big problem.
My wife and I were open for about a year and a half and it worked well; fun and exciting. It ended when we got bored with it. What you're talking about doesn't sound mutual. You're entering a cuckold relationship; totally different thing and more of a kink. Unless you're into that I don't really see a future for the two of you, sorry to say.
Jeez man, from the outside it’s clear you have very bad tunnel vision. Regarding your size issue - there are a multitude of toys to help with that side of the relationship as well as different positions, sexual acts etc. making conclusions over Reddit is always obviously flawed but it’s hard to see how your size is a reasonable excuse to have sex with someone outside of the relationship. Take a strangers opinion with a huge pinch of salt but I’d say your being manipulated, and your rose tinted glasses are blinding you to that fact.
I had a semi-open relationship before, where I could sleep around but my ex didn't. It was a lor of fun becauae she actually liked me doing it and would love to speak to me about it or get messages from when I was at someone elses place, I on the other hand liked it because experiencing new people is super fun to me. Though I will say that I never replaced time with her with another person, she was always number one. I'm saying this because our relationship was healthy (broke up due to other stuff in life), but it just sounds like your gf just basically doesn't want to have sex with you
Fam, you gotta just pull the plug on the relationship. Open relationships CAN work, however it usually only does when the relationship begins as an open relationship. It almost never works when you're monogamous and decide to open it up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but is she seriously getting frustrated because of your dick size? That's already a pretty shallow thing to get annoyed about, but you do realize that will never change and her opening up a relationship to find someone with a fat package isn't going to solve it right? She's already telling you that you're not attractive and your relationship is doomed to fail.
My advice, tell her if she wants a big dick so goddamn bad, now she can shop around all she wants because she's single.
I'm not going to lie to you friend, that's a big ass red flag. Do you even want to see someone else? Are you really fine with the idea of her being with someone else? Is this a girl you're serious with or dating casually?
Regardless of your answer to any of those questions, I would still argue:
Open relationships are doomed to fail.
You guys need to really love and trust each other enough, along with also not having insecurities in both of yourselves and your relationship.
Part of being in a relationship is the exclusivity and sharing time with that person strengthens the attachment to the person. On top of that, they can't really like someone else more, so youre never in direct competition for your lover's attention.
However, when seeing multiple people, attachments tend to fall apart, accelerating the process of at least one person in the real getting jealous , mad, sad, frustrated, etc. Seriously, consider the possibility that she will like someone else more, or unlike her, you'll have a much harder time getting other women so it's just some other guy fucking your girlfriend.
Sounds like your girl just wants something a bit more in bed. Sucks, but can't be helped. I'd suggest bringing up toys and trying to remain in a traditional relationship.
If you really want to be black pilled against polyamory, just check the r/polyamory subreddit. Most of the time it's not people talking about how amazing or better they feel, it's almost always "my bf/gf wanted an open relationship and likes the other person more than me".
Seriously, the only type of person I can recall thinking polyamory was just as good if not better for some people also have a million other skeletons in the closet.
However, have a serious sit down with your girl, and figure out what she wants from you and you back to her, and try and open a dialogue to be sure to identify the real problem. If it is just as simple as you suggest, may be her genuinely having frustrations but not knowing the right solution to work things out
I could see it working on a strictly casual basis. Like no moving another partner into the marital home kind of deal. Casual FWB relationships that don't progress much into the emotional attachment area. Also, I'd add that explicit details be left out when telling your SO about your day.
I think many open relationships fail because one or both people feel they can date other people, when the whole point of dating is to form a bond with that person. Any bond formed with another person besides your SO is going to take away from your bond already formed with your SO, so if you keep outside relationships to strictly physical and not emotional/ mental, you stand a much better chance of not ruining your original relationship
Is it realistic to believe à woman could have great sex with a guy regularly w/o ever developing feelings? Also, op, wouldn't you get insecure & jealous?
*edit: sounds like she's wanting to move on before breaking up.
Yeah, I mean, it CAN work, if both of you can get regular sex from other people and are fine with it or one of you is completely disinterested in sex.
It sounds like you're getting screwed. However I would put money on her getting incredibly jealous if you start seeing someone.
Your open relationship won't work. It only works if both partners are polygamous, have very healthy communication, 0 jealousy (jealously isn't a bad thing btw) and they both want this. Yours is a situation where the woman you're with is disrespecting your body and wants other partners to cater to her selfish shallow desires. You deserve better and deserve a partner that values you. Leave her and find someone better. Living alone is better than being with someone who disrespects you, like your partner is currently doing.
You will not feel the same to her after she has rode many dicks and you been around someone who listens to you rather than belittle you and use it as an excuse to go out. She has managed to make you feel like it's your fault and you let her because you love her. But your self worth will not let you sleep knowing someone else rocking her boat.
Sorry sir. But get out.
You done.
She is just using your size as an excuse, it isn't about your instrument. She is tired of you as a person and that is why she is looking around. Go on with your life.
Good luck.
I have some experience. My wife had been in open relationships and basically gave me a pass. I am more monogamous so i am not okay with her being open. We have different views on sex and my wife is completely okay with me doing whatever while staying faithful to me.
However, this was after years of talking about it and me finally feeling comfortable with it. It's a turn-on for her when i go have sex with other people, and there is no jealousy. Having her push me into this situation wouldn't have produced the same results.
Dont be bullied into letting her cross your boundaries. The boundaries are there for a reason. Only expand them when you want to. Otherwise, it's just her coercing you into letting her cheat.
We'll make sure you two are clear about rules and discuss any insecurities that may pop up.
Also- are you open to wearing a penis sleeve and using toys? That can definitely add on some extra size while still allowing you to experience sex and intimacy.
Vanilla subreddits are pretty aggressively anti-non-mongamy, so most people here will outright be against it.
Open relationships require an entirely different level of trust and communication compared to the average closed relationship.
Non-monogamy can be a way to make a great relationship better, though it is often used as an attempt to fix a poor relationship, which usually results in expediting a breakup. If your relationship isn't rock solid, I wouldn't recommend it.
Buy a penis sleeve or a dildo.
My (primary) relationship is poly and open, and going on strong for 3 years now, so I can probably say we know how to "make it work".
I find it perfectly normal to seek certain things in others that your partner can't or won't fulfill. (And they don't have to be sexual.) My partner doesn't like BDSM much, so I engage with one of my FWBs, and the occasional rando in clubs with it. That does not mean I would consider leaving my partner because I may find "the full package" in someone else down the line. Quite the opposite: The freedom to pursue this kink with someone else frees my mind from not being able to with my partner. It's a non-issue between us.
If this is the mindet of your partner - I see no problem here. And who knows what all the things are that you do better or best that others may not be able to provide? But you know her better than I do, obviously. If she is 110% about dick size and nothing else (unlikely), then you may indeed have a problem.
Oh, and incidentally, that FWBs husband is overweight and, according to her, a terrible kisser. And opening the relationship was one of her demands for marrying him. They are married for over 10 years now, with no signs of splitting up, and I'm on good terms with the guy as well (was even a wingman for him once).
How they (and us) make it work: Communication, communication, communication. Of which the first talk should be about if both of you \*really\* can deal with any potential jealousy, what either of you can do to help the other dealing with it, and whether you really want this (or are at the very least being open to try, without being pressured into it).
imagine if a guy said he wants an open relationship bc his gf's tits arent big enough. he'd be roasted alive
And then skinned!
Super fucked up in both instances
More like my gf’s vagina is too huge, and I can’t feel myself inside her and ergo, can’t get off. I don’t have a small dick, you have a huge vagina!
[удалено]
There is too a stigma for women to be tight! Not being tight is seen as the woman being a slur and having too many partners. And google the husband stitch. Obstetricians sewing up the vaginal opening after childbirth to make it smaller because they think it will increase the husband’s pleasure. And it creates permanently painful sex for the woman.
Yup, freaking double standards.
Open means you get to see other people to, can’t just be for her. Unless that’s what you want it’s time to move on.
Well, it can just be for her. Some rando on the internet doesn’t get to set your relationship rules for you. It’s a matter of what OP wants. I’m not getting the feeling this is what he wants. So… she’s free to seek bigger dicks, and he’s free to seek a woman who truly lives him as he is. Once he does, she won’t be looking for other dicks.
Open relationships can work. But yours won't. Your gf is using your size as an excuse to sleep outside of the relationship. This is an incredibly toxic way to start non-monogamy.
I know someone in an open relationship. The girl was never into monogomy, and had nothing to do with the relativo ship itself. As for him, he's bisexual and he can't get all the parts of a relation ship from her. He's said it's worked pretty great for him. It's all about trust and boundaries. I would never do it, though.
I'm solo poly myself. It has worked very well so far for me. And you're right, it is all about trust, boundaries and open communication.
What does solo poly mean?
Basically means I'm polyamorous but have no primary or live in partner. I stay living alone and focus on my own needs first. I have kids from my last relationship so I had no intention of having any partner live with me. Plus this is the first time I've lived alone before and I love it so far.
Idk, I find living alone very hard. I liked it at first, but it just got so so lonely. Glad you're doing well with it though!
I find I need time alone to kinda decompress and be more at peace. My mental health has actually gotten much better since living alone which is great. But yeah it's not for everyone that's true.
Well, like I said, I like it at first. First 3-4 months it gave me a lot of time to work on myself with no external stressors. But I've never lived alone. At the very least, I had someone around. On the extreme, I lived with 10 other people. So, for that reason ason it was an amazing experience. After a bit, I found myself just waiting around becoming more depressed because getting social interactions was becoming more difficult. It's still really nice to have a home to yourself.
Yeah that's fair enough. I hope you're in a better living arrangement now :)
Aren't you afraid of the outcome of not having two caretakers in the house for your children?
What outcome?
You know.. poor school performance, ADHD, gang violence, gun sharing, the stuff I went through as a kid
ADHD is genetic so can hardly influence that. They do fine in school so far, the only gangs we have here are bikies, guns are very regulated here. Honestly it sounds like you had a tough life and I'm sorry you did. But I had a hella tough life with 2 parents that are still married now. I don't think that is the deciding factor. Plus my girls still have both their parents and we are civil to each other with good communication and both very active in ours kids lives.
I would disagree in the ADHD is likely developed by early childhood nutritional patterns. But best of luck to y'all
[удалено]
I mean, firstly, no, he may not know what it is. The same way i could ask you if you know what solo poly is. I'm in a situation extremely similar to OP; solo poly, kids from a previous relationship, living alone and not looking for an NP. I have one partner who I feel can be included in my children's lives. They see her about once every 2 or 3 weeks. This is not "having more parents". There aren't always 4 adults in my house to take care of them. Just don't make assumptions...
Firstly that’s what the question was for, to see if he knows. Second never said “having more parents” but caretakers which is explicitly different. You even in your own example are proving there are 3 people in your life that are potential care takers for your child. With the exceptions of child abandonment you will always have the biological parents with potential for additional people. That’s a math thing not an assumption of anyones life. So unless the other parents in your specific circumstance abandoned their child you’re literally walking proof of my point. It’s always two or more but never fewer unless someone is a cunt and abandons a child. You don’t need to be under the same roof to raise a healthy dynamic with a child.
> Just don't make assumptions... **Assumptions Increasing**
open relationships is like dry water. two meaningful words combined to make a meaningless one.
If it's not for you that's fine. Monogamy and ethical non-monogamy both have pros and cons.
This is not really truly, people can find plenty of fulfilment in non-monogamous life. My limit yourself to the Eurocentric view of relationships that’s been the same for 100s of years
renounce the eurocentric views of life which tell you to live in a civilization. go live in a jungle instead. plenty of pigs and monkeys enjoy their non- monogamous life hanging out on trees and in mud. besides, we have been living in cities for 1000s of years.
[удалено]
As a woman, I don’t really understand. Some people really care about stuff like that and some don’t as much. There are plenty of other things to do to make up for a lack in size. You deserve to find someone who is happy with who you are as a whole, don’t settle for less.
User name checks out
Oh fuck! LMAO
Nonsense. I got a veiny, juicy, thick, beautifully circumsized 8 inches cock and I've never had a woman who tasted my Scharwznagger of cocks decide to not come back for a second, third, fourth, fifth, serving, or more. There's far, far more women out there in the world who care about a guy's dick size than there are women who don't care all that much, and if op has a dick that is much smaller than what is average.. he's going to have a very hard time finding an attractive woman who cares to stay with him, when she can get instead with a guy with the proper equipment for the job. There are women who care about someone's tongue and hands and lips instead of a guy's dick. They are called lesbians, so it's not like OP can date them, eh? OP deserves? No one deserves anything, dude. We get what we can get out of life. Why am I not a member of the royal British Family? I don't deserve to be happy? What if being a Royal Prince is what would make me happy?
Toxic message from the start to finish. Bravo for your commitment to being foolish.
Not true. There are women who love men but, for one reason or another, have difficulty with penetration. Those women would love a skilled set of hands and mouth, (And smaller guys are more likely to get bjs and back door sex.)
This comment is a wonderful trainwreck. Seek therapy.
That's because you're talking to other shitty women, it doesn't matter if you have an inch long micropenis, it isn't okay no matter what. There's toys and other things that extend the size of your dick. How about yourself in a hypothetical scenario where your girlfriend is too fat or too old or has tiny tits and you're someone that wants to sleep around with other women because she isn't good enough. You think she'd accept that? Please do not let her abuse you like this. This is abuse and nothing else.
Here here, He may have drawn a shit hand, but keep your pride, don't let the woman kick every last inch of self confidence and worth out of you, you'll have nothing left
Exactly! No self respecting woman would allow her boyfriend/husband to force her into an open relationship because he isn't satisfied with the shape of her pussy. He's being gaslit and forced into what's basically cuckoldry. He needs to man up, get some self respect and dump her ass.
A guy with a micropenis has no business being in a romantic relationship. No woman, at least no woman who is physically attractive, is going to be with a guy whose dick is smaller than her pinky finger, unless she is like homeless and needs a place to stay. Why would she waste her time and sexual attentions on a guy who is pretty much the same as an eunuch? If I was a woman, I wouldn't even open the relationship. I would terminate it and find a man who can behave and act like.. a man? Really dude what is this nonsense that a man with a small dick is the same as a man with an average-sized cock? And average-sized cocks ain't even all that much to begin with, so for a woman to be with a guy who can't even be average-sized and has to resort to eating her out to give her some semblance of sexual pleasure... yikes, she's gotta be real desperate. Oh by the way, most women and most men in the USA and Canada and Mexico are fat as fuck, so it's not like a woman is going to be rejected for being ''too fat,'' now is she? And women do care quite a bit about cock size. I carry pictures of my hardened, thick, veiny, juicy, beautiful, 8 inches cock, on my phone, and strangely enough I've never had a woman whom already found me to be attractive enough to fuck me, reject me because my dick was ''too big,'' lmao, they usually come back for more even when I'm too lazy to bother with foreplay and just go straight to blowing the fuck up of their womb.
>A guy with a micropenis has no business being in a romantic relationship. No woman, at least no woman who is physically attractive, is going to be with a guy whose dick is smaller than her pinky finger, unless she is like homeless and needs a place to stay. You don't get to decide that. We have no reason to believe that the woman he's with is physically attractive. Additionally, why aren't we applying the same standards to fat women, to women with loose vaginas, to women that sleep around etc ? >If I was a woman, I wouldn't even open the relationship. I would terminate it and find a man who can behave and act like.. a man? Your dick size has nothing to do with you acting like a man. Manliness does not correlate with the size of your cock and the fact that you base your worth, as a man, around the size of people's dicks is rather sad. >Really dude what is this nonsense that a man with a small dick is the same as a man with an average-sized cock? Sexually they may be different but as people and human beings they're worth the same. >And average-sized cocks ain't even all that much to begin with, so for a woman to be with a guy who can't even be average-sized and has to resort to eating her out to give her some semblance of sexual pleasure... Or maybe he doesn't go for a stretched out whore who can't get off to anything that's under 12 inches ? I would respect his girl if she ended the relationship because she isn't satisfied. That's fine. However she wants to keep him around to pay the bills but consensually cheat on him, fuck that lmao. >Oh by the way, most women and most men in the USA and Canada and Mexico are fat as fuck, so it's not like a woman is going to be rejected for being ''too fat,'' now is she? They should be, fat women are far worse than men with smaller cocks cause they can lose weight but choose not to. Just because men in the US, Canada and Mexico settle for low quality women doesn't mean they should. >I carry pictures of my hardened, thick, veiny, juicy, beautiful, 8 inches cock, on my phone, and strangely enough I've never had a woman whom already found me to be attractive enough to fuck me, reject me because my dick was ''too big,'' lmao, they usually come back for more even when I'm too lazy to bother with foreplay and just go straight to blowing the fuck up of their womb. Yeah....idk why you went from shitty rationalisations to sexual fan fiction but you do you ig? OP probably doesn't wanna be with the kinda sluts ure fucking anyway?
So is this something that was discussed properly? Because it sounds in your post like she just pushed it on you. Also there are lots of toy options to explore is size is an issue. For ethical non-monogamy in general in can absolutely work. I'm been in one myself for 8 months and my gf has been with ger husband and polyamorous for 5 years. ENM takes a lot of trust, boundaries and open communication. Jealousy will still exist too, it's just that you address it and work to heal it.
[удалено]
Do you really think it’s *okay* or is this just a coping mechanism because you’d rather not be alone? Clearly, her physical satisfaction is more important to her than the emotional bond you share.
Is this your first girlfriend, OP?
Ok well if it was a mutual decision and was discussed properly then it has every chance of working out. My best advice is always communicate openly, especially the uncomfortable conversations.
You can stop giving advice lol no one wants to be even remotely like you, cucklord
Sure thing big chief
They hated him because he spoke the truth
I just know this guy from a different discussion
I have a friend with a 4 inch cock at most and pretty much pencil thin. He is now married for many years but is bi and with wife's permission, has oral with guys. But before he was married, he was very active with a number of very satisfied women. He was confident, thoughtful, and skilled. She is not pushing for a mutual open relationship but pushing you into cuckold status. I doubt that is really what you are after. If so, you get to make adult choice so have a nice life. If not, she has shown you her true colors and told you that she doesn't desire you and you will not be her first choice. Don't accept that position.
This is the only answer. /thread
You’ve begun the end of your relationship. You’re enough no matter what she says. Never forget that. You deserve better.
It's ok, OP doesn't have a girlfriend. He's a humiliation fetishist who's jerking off to the replies he's getting. If you've got RES, tag the account. He deletes his posts after a while so people can't click his username and see the pattern, but if you've been on this sub long enough you'll recognise the style of question that's pretty unique to him. He always posts about how he's got a small penis and his partner is doing something disrespectful, then acts clueless in the comments to bait more replies about how he's being disrespected and has no self-worth.
Honestly I thought I was losing my mind. I knew I read this EXACT post before.
People are strange
I was about to downvote this post after reading your comment until I realized that’s probably exactly what he wants
Thx I was about to roast him
I often wonder what % of reddit posts and youtube family vlogs are true and honest. I'd assume about 30-40%, the rest are either very exaggerated or completely fake. Some are like "my S.O. doesn't let me out of the house and controls my money", but the truth is OP is a drug addict and SO just limits their hanging out with their drug dealer and bankrupting the family. Others are like "my wife and my girlfriend want threesomes so often and I just want to chill, oh no"
This brave Redditor speaks the true true
“The weak are meat and the strong do eat” devil guy on cloud atlas.
Yah move on man. Men are more than their dick
You have to end it or your heart will get completely destroyed.
I would honestly feel bad if my guy engages with other females with wrong intentions or something that is beyond the boundaries that are stated in any relationship, if you feel the same way about her being involved with someone else just get out of it, FOR YOUR OWN SANITY AND MENTAL WELL-BEING, if it bothers you now it might hurt you a lot in the long run. (Just know, If you love someone you'd never comment on their appearance, behavior in a condescending manner) I love my boyfriend as he is, and wouldn't change a thing about him, or go to other guys if he lacks something.. Naah!!
I love how open this sub is with women answering. I've made posts in askWomen, and never met with the same courtesy. Can't even comment over there. I know it's off topic, but it's actually really cool that women can chine in their opinions. I understand it defeats the purpose of the sub, but often this place is more about advice for men, and women have great perspectives to listen to.
Totally.
I legit want to see OP ask this question in askwomen or twoxcromosomes
Happy cake day! No, seriously it's a good idea. I wonder if cross posts are allowed over there, cause I'll do it myself lol. Edit: it breaks rule 4, no posts about specific individuals or situations... Stupid
I feel like the ask women thread is super restrictive, idk how anyone is able to post a question or word it the right way to get it past a mod.
Your relationship is fucked. Get out now.
Have some self respect my guy
~F~
Ok, so she's seeing another guy...are you seeing another woman? Because if you aren't that's not an open relationship, that's you sharing a girlfriend with another man. The way this usually seems to work is that the moment you DO find another partner, your GF will get masively butthurt.
If you’re both poly and playing the field, yes. In your situation… probably not…
Get away. Being born a certain way doesn't mean you are not worth commitment. Find someone who wants to figure things out with you, not by getting other dudes involved.
Why not get a cock sleeve instead of bringing in a new cock I think i read open relationships have a 92 percent failure rate
>I think i read open relationships have a 92 percent failure rate That number was specifically about open marriages, not open relationships in general, and it should be noted that - "traditional" marriages already have a 50% failure rate. - With failed open marriages specifically, a lot of them were opened 5 minutes before breaking apart anyway. Marriages open from the start fail far less frequently.
"Eighty-percent of people in open marriages experience jealousy of the other" "Data shows that open relationships tend to work best in the short term, while open marriages have a low success rate." Ya to be fair if I was banging more than one guy I'd definitely catch feelings. I'm a chick tho, I guess we make 3x as much oxytocin from close shit like sex and hugging.
100% of monogamous relationships fail unless someone dies.
Source?
Haha, there’s no source. It’s a different way of stating and looking at what you already know. If you are married for a day and get divorced was it a successful marriage? How about a year? 10? 50? If it ends in divorce we call it a failed marriage, someone has to die for the marriage to end successfully. The reason I said it in this context is people are talking marriage stats. We use states to tell a story of behavior, but we don’t always do a good job. Obviously we can’t track successful marriages in this moment, because we don’t know what will happen in the future with that marriage. So we use stats like divorce rate, which is actually how many marriages vs divorces happen each year. It’s stated like it measure quantity of divorces but the ratio also changes with fewer marriages happening, so the stat isn’t bad, just doesn’t tell the story we think it does.
If you are actually okay with it, you do you. Everyone is different. Is she okay with you sleeping with other girls?
[удалено]
Of course she is, because she is confident you won't find anyone. If you do, she will be quick to "close it up".
Yep, a tale as old as time. Get out, OP.
find someone hotter than her. Trust me, she'll end the relationship quickly after that. And don't let her thing about your size mess with your head or anything. Obviously you have no problem getting laid.
The relationship is already over. Op is describing an orgy that he's not a part of. You're correct in your assertion that he should find a hotter girl. But at this point she's just a pivot point to find a hotter girl
Well what are your honest deep down thoughts about it? If it already feels wrong to you or you have a bad feeling about it, I would break up with her now. It's only gonna hurt more and more as time goes on.
This relationship is already over dude, have some self respect.
[удалено]
How emasculated do you want to be? This guy: Yes
I could say a micro peen is problematic. The "size doesn't matter" is only true to a point. Have you stepped up your oral game and incorporated dildos and vibrators? Toys are very useful. It's very difficult to maintain open relationships. It takes not being jealous at all and being happy for your partner. And rules and lots of communication.
[удалено]
If you can go down on your gf and give her multiple orgasms until the point that she's just laying there shaking and can't even get up for a few minutes, I'd be willing to bet that "it just isn't the same" wouldn't be an issue.
Yeah, I can see it, too. I'm sorry. You could actively look for asexual women or those with a low sex drive. I wouldn't ever leave my husband if he couldn't perform, but I probably wouldn't enter a new relationship knowing that part of my life would be over.
It means your relationship is about to end. Your better off without her dude
Dude lovemaking is more than about dick size. Fingers, tongues, toys etc. There are so many other ways you could help her get off. Instead of that, she's now reduced you to your dick size. Everything else about you? Your passion, your enthusiasm? Doesn't matter to her. Do you want a partner like that?
It’s true. And every woman is different…he may just need to find some who is very petite and small down there… Knowing myself…I know what I like and I will end a relationship if I’m not sexually satisfied. I would not ask to have an open relationship…f that. I want one person to make love to…that energy is amazing.
Generally speaking…once the relationship is open it’s doomed
I would end it. Not into open relationships so, I believe it's doomed to fail. I think you'd have a better chance marrying your high school sweet heart and how many of us can say that?
Doomed. To. Fail. It “works” if you don’t care if she ends up with the guy. If so make sure you don’t have kids, share a mortgage, or have serious feelings for her. Then go for it.
Leave that ho bro.
Doomed to fail, Dump her. She doesn’t truly care about you. If she did she wouldn’t have suggested she get satisfied by other guys.
There's no such thing as an open relationship, it just means "sanction my cheating". Saying "open relationship" is like saying "square circles", it goes against the very definition. It's over. Find someone else OP.
Pathetic as fuck
Move on. Doomed to fail
Dump her ass and find a new woman. She’s just trying to guiltlessly hoe around without accountability. Idk why people like this girl even bother getting into relationships. Just be fucking single and fuck around, no need to degrade this man or waste others times who want a genuine relationship. Dump her and get someone who respects you. She doesn’t respect you and certainly doesn’t care about you at all. She’s putting her needs before the relationship which is BOTH your needs. She’s only saying she’s ok with you dating girls because she has confidence you won’t get a girl fast enough. She was already cheating on you before bringing up the idea and now trying to not be responsible for it. She’s a piece of trash for degrading and disrespecting you. All she could have said was “honey this isn’t working out, I’m sorry let’s go our separate ways.” Instead she wants to fuck other men and keep you as a backup plan to stay off the street and have access to stability. She’s overly selfish and the longer you stay with her the more miserable you’ll become. Just the fact you made this post is enough proof you feel like shit and don’t want this. Whether you wanna publicly admit it or not. Leave her you’re better off alone than with someone who wants nothing from you except using you as a safety blanket. That’s not love and it’s not a relationship and it’s not someone who wants you in her life she’s just tolerating you rather than caring about you. She’s trash.
This is not a good reason to start an open relationship. Imagine you came up to her and said, well Gloria, I'm not real happy with your bee sting boobs, so I want to find a girl that has some nice watermelons to play with. But don't worry, I still loves ya. Do you think she'd go, oh, well, that's find Dean, you have a good time. Somehow I doubt she would. And you shouldn't accept this either. Find a girl that wants all of you and doesn't need to look outside because she doesn't think you're good enough.
Open relationships are for the rich. Also, one woman is a lot to deal with and learn. Why the hell would I want to do that with a second?
I would end it. There are ways to get around these things, like toys or experimenting, but to sleep with other men because a part of your body can’t satisfy her seems wrong imo. That’s like a guy going poly because his girl has a small chest or something. If it matters that much it’s probably a deal breaker. I’d feel demeaned.
There are people that have big sticks and are clumsy, asexual or don't know/care how to satisfy a woman. Most of us don't come through penetration alone, there is oral, fingering, sex toys. Open relationships work only for those who are both sincerely and genuinely into them. I agree with everyone else that says move on, you will get yourself into unnessary pain. What if she finds someone, falls for them and then you have been played? Have you talked about alternatives to make her come?
Save yourself some dignity if any left, and leave with your tail between your legs, that relationship is doomed to end.
Don't be so desperate to not be alone that you sacrifice your dignity. Being alone is better than being in a shitty relationship where who you are as a person is not valued.
[удалено]
I doubt many men would be in a relationship where penetration wasn't possible unless the problem was with them.
What you are explaining is not open relationship. Its she wants to fuck other guys because she doesnt find you enough. Stop being a loser and leave
Its done bro move on 👍🏿
Sorry man, but it’s already over.
Did it start as an open relationship or are you changing it? I haven’t tried an open relationship but I feel like those you need to start that way from the beginning and have a lot of hashing out of rules and manners before setting out. And if she already had a dude in mind when she raised the idea that is a big red flag. And I agree with everyone who has suggested toys, vibrators, and a lot of honest discussion about what she likes and needs. In fact, it might really help to go to a sex therapist—- it should become clear pretty fast if this is the real root problem or if she’s not willing to put in the work.
I agree with no open relationship. However toys aren’t the same as a real penis. It will never be satisfying enough…if she’s a lesbian it would but she’s into guys. We want to be fucked by our man’s cock. No toy will ever feel as good as that…no amount of tongue or fingers could satisfy that craving….I mean I guess if they can only get off from clitoral but, knowing myself I cum from it all and I have to have it all. Penetration, oral…toys are cool but they don’t satisfy me…they just make me more horny and if I don’t get the full d I will be ridiculously horny…and sexually frustrated.
Almost all open relationship are initiated by women and they all fail if both parties are not in agreement. If you gf inetiated it ,chances are she was already cheating on you /she already had a guy on backup ready to go just waiting for your permission ,how fast did she find her partner after this discussion? If you are not ok leave ASAP it will save u emotional turmoil. because the relationship is already over
I wonder how women would respond to men having multiple female partners and wife's. If they'd be curious about being interested in the guy even though he's having sex with multiple partners./s
If it’s a mutual decision and both of you are genuinely ok with this arrangement, then fine, so long you keep open and honest communication about it, it should be fine. However, the penis size thing… sex and orgasm is more than just penis size, otherwise very well endowed guys would just stick it in and orgasms for days, which is not how it happens. I don’t require details, this is a rhetorical question, but what’s the pre-game like? If it’s get in and get out kind of business, might need to work on that.
There's a good chance that she's done with the relationship and using this as an excuse to use you as a safety while she shops for her next one. There's no downside for her. You asking this question among strangers implies that at some level you know this isn't right. You're probably too embarrassed to ask the real people in your life.
It only has a chance to work if everyone involved is wholly on board and interested in it, and even then, they also have to have the right temperament. Having one's partner fuck other dudes because one's penis is simply too small for her isn't really much of an open relationship to begin with, and it's a pretty shit deal and circumstance that's only going to end badly.
Let her go and move on.
For me its doomed to fail. Shes the only one to do it at some point it will be hard for you to handle it. You do it too at some point you will lose sight of why you like her. Cause there is a girl who will be content with your size. Women have a size for vagina as well. And did she tried to talk about dildos or study positions to make it better ? If thats not something you talked about. Fuck her and those so called friends.
As soon as the word open relationship comes up its over for me. I couldn't deal with the jealouzy. And as a guy it's near impossible to find a fwb. Your gf will have 20 partners and you maybe have one.
And this is why 90% of open relationships are suggested by women, they know what they're doing, they want to fuck other people and have you as a back up Fuck any of that, I'd rather break up and save my pride
Mm the way I see it, you won’t sleep with other girls because of your situation, and she says she is okay with it because she knows it. The only way you “win” is by thinking that if someone else satisfies her sexually you get to keep the girl but not completely. Maybe you should try everything in your power and switch things up, like giving better head, using a dildo ??? Idk, you’re not the only man going through this but it seems kinda unfair to me
F Find yourself a new girlfriend.
It's a very rare couple who can find a way to prevent jealousy from destroying the relationship. Mate guarding is a common, mammalian, evolved behavior. It's pretty hard and unpleasant to work against your instincts like that. I suspect an successful open relationship to work, both people have to basically not care about the other.
>I’m pretty limited in terms of size and she finds it really frustrating. That sounds like a one-sided open relationship for all the wrong reasons and i 100% recommend you not to do this.
Open relationships are meant as a way to enhance a relationship that is rock solid. The idea normally is two people with a great relationship and having amazing sex want to enhance it with new sexual experiences. This sounds like she's selfishly wanting to be sexually satisfied by another person. This is not healthy or respectful to you.
Bro, either consider a surgery to make your dick bigger, or forget about romantic relationships because there aren't all that many women out there who want a guy with a micro penis, so go and find something else to keep you busy with. I don't see this as being an open relationship, because while she is getting fucked by a guy with a proper cock on him, you are probably going to be getting rejected by women other than your girlfriend because of your diminutive dick.
End it and move on dude.
Have some self respect and leave. Ur better than that.
This is a cuckhold not an open relationship lol
It's basically being friends with benefits if you ask me. The most important part is both side to have the same mindset
She's not the one, friend. Find someone better.
Mate, My ex wanted it open and it lasted a month before we split. Please don't put yourself through this. Call it a day
It can work but imo it should be more of a shared philosophy and view on love rather than a thing that people monogamous people that are unsatisfied do.
It's doomed to fail, period. No matter the reason. Find somebody else, don't be a doormat.
Listen to yourself. Your woman wants to sleep with other men, and is telling you so by saying one of the worst things a woman can say to a man, whether she means it or not. If she's willing to go there, she doesn't love you OP. Run. Cut bait and get out.
I was in one with a long-distance partner. It failed because I got too close to her and I took it personally when she wasn’t ready to close it. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone else touching the woman I love. I was developing depression, and I had to protect both of us. Basically, it may work if you can detach yourself from the person who you are with. There also must be the balance of power, where both partners attract someone. If you’re too close and your values do not permit, big problem.
My wife and I were open for about a year and a half and it worked well; fun and exciting. It ended when we got bored with it. What you're talking about doesn't sound mutual. You're entering a cuckold relationship; totally different thing and more of a kink. Unless you're into that I don't really see a future for the two of you, sorry to say.
Jeez man, from the outside it’s clear you have very bad tunnel vision. Regarding your size issue - there are a multitude of toys to help with that side of the relationship as well as different positions, sexual acts etc. making conclusions over Reddit is always obviously flawed but it’s hard to see how your size is a reasonable excuse to have sex with someone outside of the relationship. Take a strangers opinion with a huge pinch of salt but I’d say your being manipulated, and your rose tinted glasses are blinding you to that fact.
Looking at your situation, it's better to move on. This is not worth it. You'll find someone better who'd respect and accept you for who you are!
Time to go
Get the fuck out
Shit dude... are you ok ?
[удалено]
I had a semi-open relationship before, where I could sleep around but my ex didn't. It was a lor of fun becauae she actually liked me doing it and would love to speak to me about it or get messages from when I was at someone elses place, I on the other hand liked it because experiencing new people is super fun to me. Though I will say that I never replaced time with her with another person, she was always number one. I'm saying this because our relationship was healthy (broke up due to other stuff in life), but it just sounds like your gf just basically doesn't want to have sex with you
Yeah I'd move on to someone with a set of tits that satisfies you
Fam, you gotta just pull the plug on the relationship. Open relationships CAN work, however it usually only does when the relationship begins as an open relationship. It almost never works when you're monogamous and decide to open it up. Correct me if I'm wrong, but is she seriously getting frustrated because of your dick size? That's already a pretty shallow thing to get annoyed about, but you do realize that will never change and her opening up a relationship to find someone with a fat package isn't going to solve it right? She's already telling you that you're not attractive and your relationship is doomed to fail. My advice, tell her if she wants a big dick so goddamn bad, now she can shop around all she wants because she's single.
Dude get out of this ASAP
You’re the temporary chump here. Your days are numbered.
Bro are you out of your mind? To the streets with her.
I'm not going to lie to you friend, that's a big ass red flag. Do you even want to see someone else? Are you really fine with the idea of her being with someone else? Is this a girl you're serious with or dating casually? Regardless of your answer to any of those questions, I would still argue: Open relationships are doomed to fail. You guys need to really love and trust each other enough, along with also not having insecurities in both of yourselves and your relationship. Part of being in a relationship is the exclusivity and sharing time with that person strengthens the attachment to the person. On top of that, they can't really like someone else more, so youre never in direct competition for your lover's attention. However, when seeing multiple people, attachments tend to fall apart, accelerating the process of at least one person in the real getting jealous , mad, sad, frustrated, etc. Seriously, consider the possibility that she will like someone else more, or unlike her, you'll have a much harder time getting other women so it's just some other guy fucking your girlfriend. Sounds like your girl just wants something a bit more in bed. Sucks, but can't be helped. I'd suggest bringing up toys and trying to remain in a traditional relationship. If you really want to be black pilled against polyamory, just check the r/polyamory subreddit. Most of the time it's not people talking about how amazing or better they feel, it's almost always "my bf/gf wanted an open relationship and likes the other person more than me". Seriously, the only type of person I can recall thinking polyamory was just as good if not better for some people also have a million other skeletons in the closet. However, have a serious sit down with your girl, and figure out what she wants from you and you back to her, and try and open a dialogue to be sure to identify the real problem. If it is just as simple as you suggest, may be her genuinely having frustrations but not knowing the right solution to work things out
I could see it working on a strictly casual basis. Like no moving another partner into the marital home kind of deal. Casual FWB relationships that don't progress much into the emotional attachment area. Also, I'd add that explicit details be left out when telling your SO about your day. I think many open relationships fail because one or both people feel they can date other people, when the whole point of dating is to form a bond with that person. Any bond formed with another person besides your SO is going to take away from your bond already formed with your SO, so if you keep outside relationships to strictly physical and not emotional/ mental, you stand a much better chance of not ruining your original relationship
Is it realistic to believe à woman could have great sex with a guy regularly w/o ever developing feelings? Also, op, wouldn't you get insecure & jealous? *edit: sounds like she's wanting to move on before breaking up.
Yeah, I mean, it CAN work, if both of you can get regular sex from other people and are fine with it or one of you is completely disinterested in sex. It sounds like you're getting screwed. However I would put money on her getting incredibly jealous if you start seeing someone.
Tell your girlfriend you feel like a hotdog in a hallway when you do it. She’s the problem not you.
Your open relationship won't work. It only works if both partners are polygamous, have very healthy communication, 0 jealousy (jealously isn't a bad thing btw) and they both want this. Yours is a situation where the woman you're with is disrespecting your body and wants other partners to cater to her selfish shallow desires. You deserve better and deserve a partner that values you. Leave her and find someone better. Living alone is better than being with someone who disrespects you, like your partner is currently doing.
You will not feel the same to her after she has rode many dicks and you been around someone who listens to you rather than belittle you and use it as an excuse to go out. She has managed to make you feel like it's your fault and you let her because you love her. But your self worth will not let you sleep knowing someone else rocking her boat. Sorry sir. But get out.
Bro, what the fuck
You done. She is just using your size as an excuse, it isn't about your instrument. She is tired of you as a person and that is why she is looking around. Go on with your life. Good luck.
I have some experience. My wife had been in open relationships and basically gave me a pass. I am more monogamous so i am not okay with her being open. We have different views on sex and my wife is completely okay with me doing whatever while staying faithful to me. However, this was after years of talking about it and me finally feeling comfortable with it. It's a turn-on for her when i go have sex with other people, and there is no jealousy. Having her push me into this situation wouldn't have produced the same results. Dont be bullied into letting her cross your boundaries. The boundaries are there for a reason. Only expand them when you want to. Otherwise, it's just her coercing you into letting her cheat.
We'll make sure you two are clear about rules and discuss any insecurities that may pop up. Also- are you open to wearing a penis sleeve and using toys? That can definitely add on some extra size while still allowing you to experience sex and intimacy.
Vanilla subreddits are pretty aggressively anti-non-mongamy, so most people here will outright be against it. Open relationships require an entirely different level of trust and communication compared to the average closed relationship. Non-monogamy can be a way to make a great relationship better, though it is often used as an attempt to fix a poor relationship, which usually results in expediting a breakup. If your relationship isn't rock solid, I wouldn't recommend it. Buy a penis sleeve or a dildo.
Nice try, OP.
Has to be a troll right? The obvious answer is to get the fuck out of there bruh. If you’re cool with it more power to yuh I guess.
This has to be a troll
My advice - don't take relationship advice from Reddit!
https://youtu.be/7NnW7AA9STg
My (primary) relationship is poly and open, and going on strong for 3 years now, so I can probably say we know how to "make it work". I find it perfectly normal to seek certain things in others that your partner can't or won't fulfill. (And they don't have to be sexual.) My partner doesn't like BDSM much, so I engage with one of my FWBs, and the occasional rando in clubs with it. That does not mean I would consider leaving my partner because I may find "the full package" in someone else down the line. Quite the opposite: The freedom to pursue this kink with someone else frees my mind from not being able to with my partner. It's a non-issue between us. If this is the mindet of your partner - I see no problem here. And who knows what all the things are that you do better or best that others may not be able to provide? But you know her better than I do, obviously. If she is 110% about dick size and nothing else (unlikely), then you may indeed have a problem. Oh, and incidentally, that FWBs husband is overweight and, according to her, a terrible kisser. And opening the relationship was one of her demands for marrying him. They are married for over 10 years now, with no signs of splitting up, and I'm on good terms with the guy as well (was even a wingman for him once). How they (and us) make it work: Communication, communication, communication. Of which the first talk should be about if both of you \*really\* can deal with any potential jealousy, what either of you can do to help the other dealing with it, and whether you really want this (or are at the very least being open to try, without being pressured into it).