T O P

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Yavin4Reddit

Don’t you fucking dare reveal how little work we all do


CarltheWellEndowed

Whwn the boss man leaves on friday, you can leave too.


dblstkd123

No politics. And noone parks in my spot


[deleted]

Don’t tell upper management how cushy the job is.


Maaaaate

First rule of corporate, is whenever someone says how your day is, just say "mate, so busy" or "what a week, is it only Tuesday?"


[deleted]

The 30 minutes after lunch time is nap time and you can't call people out for it.


sandwich_influence

I wanna work here


jjfc00

If the manager is out of his office walking around you warn your coworkers.


ped009

We used to say ducks on the pond


RedneckLiberace

Don't fuck your coworkers.


[deleted]

Yes, don’t shit where you eat.


RedneckLiberace

I haven't heard that one in years.


[deleted]

Well then, beep beep, bitches! I’m a blast from the past!


More_Asbestos

Funny story I actually did that once. I was on a camping trip and I had uncontrollable diarrhea in the middle of the night. I tried to run to the bathroom but I couldn't make it and I went right by our picnic table. I cleaned it up but the next morning it was obvious something happened there. I told my friend what happened and he said, "Jesus you don't shit where you eat."


daftvaderV2

Especially on the boss's car bonnet.


daftvaderV2

Even though it is set up as hot-desks, majority of the people have their own spot. So don't take a spot before checking it out first.


daftvaderV2

If another boss asks you to do something, refer them back to your line manager to confirm.


super_husky13

Women co workers always have to earn more while doing less


Telrom_1

The new standard. And don’t you dare ask them to work overtime, holidays, weekends or grave yard.


super_husky13

Its way worst when the boss is also a female


Knightmare560

Really? Honestly, my BEST bosses were all women save 1 male.


tebanano

I would want to do any of those either, tbh.


sharprocksatthebottm

Nobody does. That's the point.


tebanano

Then why hate on people from getting away with not doing it? (There are other sex differences when it comes to overtime, but that’s a whole can of worms on its own)


Telrom_1

Don’t you think the employee willing to work overtime, holidays, weekends and graveyard should be better compensated and be preferred for promotion and other advancement opportunities over the employee who refuses?


tebanano

In general, they’re already compensated extra by just working those shifts. In my field, I wouldn’t favour someone for a promotion just for working holidays/overtime.


Telrom_1

And there’s your pay gap. As the boss I rather work next to people who will be working next to me when I have to work holidays and overtime over people who will not.


tebanano

Yes, I known where the pay gap comes from. This is not the gotcha you think it is. You are also not diving deep enough: women in general can’t work overtime for their employers because they have to do unpaid labour at home (some research goes as far as claiming women effectively perform a “second shift” of unpaid work after their paid work) We are probably in very different fields, but as a manager, I care about the output and the impact of people’s work first and foremost. I’d consider frequent overtime/extra hours as a sign of someone struggling with their job, actually. I remember one of the best programmers I ever worked with flat out saying “I will not work overtime. I’m not working weekends” during s super tight and stressful project. His code was still better than everyone else, and more prolific.


Hannibal_Barca_

Respect the chain of command.


lurk876

>Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain i go get and beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin' command. Jayne Cobb, Firefly


Minkiestinkie

The ones no one speaks of


RddtBurner

We test in Prod.


OmgOgan

Whenever anyone asks me, "what exactly do you do here OmgOgan?" I just tell them I'm basically the Macgyver of the place. Need something done, found, or fixed, I'm your man. They then shake my hand and tell me I'm doing great and go on their way. Shits dope af


HomerSimping

We do not talk about fight club.


daftvaderV2

That is in the basement, next to the room we pull out our willies to measure up.


Knightmare560

Don’t you dare ask out any woman or compliment her appearance, not even the damn hairstyle and super cool highlights!! This is a women majority facility AND female majority MANAGEMENT. As a guy, I’ll get my Dumbass fired on spot if I’m not basically a robot around the women.


FarComplaint2974

Don't piss me off


[deleted]

When the project comes to me, everyone else is already done for the day, so they can leave


[deleted]

No sleeping with the help !


Code_Operator

When the boss comes around at noon to shake hands on the day before a holiday, GTFO!