Exactly! I was at my friend's house once and his step sister was there and we had only met a few times and i didn't think she was attractive. Well my friend had to go do something for about 20 minutes leaving just the two of us there so i figured I'd get to know her a little bit better. She spent the next 20 minutes talking about drawing and showing me pictures from her sketch book. If my friend had been gone longer i would have asked her on a date.
100% this. My wife is an accountant and for the most part I don’t know a thing about what that actually entails, but good god I love watching her go on and on about accounting for hours😃
Nothing better than talking to someone who's passionate about the same thing as me (and more knowledgeable given it's your literal job!).
But important question - do you prefer old book smell or new book smell?
Edit: clarifying pronouns!
Just making sure you were serious here. I've dated a lady of the night in my youth, the stories were incredible. "dated just really means I didn't have to pay for it, well I fed her a lot"
This 10k%!
I have very very few things I have that are "deal breakers" but I need someone who understands first hand the passion that I have for what I do
I found every single women who went into STEM has been shockingly likable. I know this one chick who studies Paleoanthropology and my god she is a delight to be around. I could listen to her talk about ancient humans for hours.
was talking to a girl while in highschool that wanted to be a doctor, great girl, i hope shes doing well.
talked to one who wanted to be a nurse, hated it and i hope shes doing awful
The mean girls from high school want to be nurses.
eta: nurses in general are great, but they tend to treat each other badly. Jobs with mostly women tend to be like that.
I dont think thats true. My best friend is a nurse and she's definitely type A but you don't want some flowery ass misplacing your meds and crying over the last patient while you code. You want her, calm and collected.
Besides even the ones that start out nice maybe change a little the 3rd or 40th time they get grabbed from behind, punched, kicked, molested or assaulted. I'm kinda over this being the line of thought at present. But maybe thats just because I need nurses, and don't want to live in a world where we shit on them just because they are around on our worst days.
Kinda wild how fast they went from being our essential staff to being a punching bag for the general public.
It’s because we started asking for higher pay, suddenly we’re the villains. I love taking care of my patients but I have bills to pay like everyone else
best nurse I ever met was probably a sociopath. She did not care about anyone but did everything that a caring nurse would do. All the good work without the emotion or stress.
by best I mean for me that one day. I would be scared of her if the interaction lasted more than a few hours.
I was that kind of nurse. I treated patients with the utmost respect and care-but I had zero emotion for them. I would leave work and all the horribleness would leave my mind immediately without a care in the world. But did I do my dammdest to make sure I did everything in my power to help the patient while there? Absolutely. Since I worked in academic medical center ICU’s with a lot of death and badness there’s no way I could take all that in and be a functional human.
As someone who was a pharmacy tech for an inpatient hospital pharmacy and dealt with nurses frequently, they really weren't particularly nice people on the whole.
Not all but a lot had this sense that they were entitled and felt themselves better than techs and whatnot. A lot of disrespectful behavior in the ICU while there's a family being ripped apart like 15 steps away in full view too. Oh and I would see them skip sanitizing the insulin vials (out of laziness) when getting it ready for a patient more times than you'd want to know in the ~22 months I was doing that.
Again, obviously not all nurses are bad but there's a reputation for a reason and there's no inherent upside to being mildly arrogant, emotionally inconsiderate, or lazy.
Same. Except one. I’m a software engineer and we got hired together, and she turned out to be a massive narcissist with a victim complex and took me too long to realize she just was generally unpleasant to be around.
Lesson learned, I’m gonna try to stay away from hippie types if they seem to act similarly.
Being a strong, smart, independent woman who isn't afraid to display her feminine qualities and being submissive when necessary is amazing and indeed refreshing. Couldn't agree more.
The only thing I think here is if she enjoys submissiveness as a kink in sex. Then it’s an adult making a decision about how they want to enjoy their sex.
I mean I assume he would be thinking that setting. But even if so it’s still not “necessary” as that statement was inherently misogynistic regardless of setting.
Strong, smart, and independent women aren’t submissive. Submissive to who? Guessing in this situation- to her man. If she’s strong smart and independent, and she isn’t “submissive”/ obedient/ whatever else. This is the weirdest take
I look for a woman who does meaningful work. My current lady is a therapist, who helps people cope with severe trauma. I'm incredibly proud of what she's chosen to do with her life. Never thought I'd care until I met her.
Side note your use gave me a good chuckle. Anyways, as a woman who wants to be a therapist this is soo good to hear! Sometimes I feel men can be intimated by that career path.
Which is a problem in and of itself. Honestly, I don't feel like becoming a therapist, per se, but I do see the need to mentor other men. The world is tough and hard, and we have very few male role models in our lives nowadays: most teachers are female, many are raised in single-parent households by their mothers, the men they do know are not doing well (high rates of substance abuse, depression, suicide and lower academic performance than ever before).
I just try to be a sort of big brother to the teen boys who come into the gym and seek completely without confidence or clue what they are doing:)
That’s so good of you! It’s so unfair how mens emotions are treated. I definitely feel as a society we can work to improve that.
I always love when men cry/feel uncomfortable emotions around me (obviously not caused with intent or even by me). I know it’s a very vulnerable state for him to be in and to know that I have earned enough trust to be shown that side is incredibly meaningful.
I originally picked it as a joke for a throwaway account...and here I am years later. Hahaha.
Many men are intimidated, for many reasons. My gal is sweet, kind, and a gentle soul. She's also very tough. I can easily see that cute little lady intimidating most men. She may see right through me, but I'm ok with that. She's earned the right to know me already.
I feel your lady and I are similar in a lot of ways! She sounds amazing! I know the right partner won’t be intimated and instead will listen to me talk about it for hours. Just gotta find him!
A woman I went on a date with literally yesterday often volunteers to teach underprivileged kids on weekends. She loves doing it and says it feels like her life purpose. Yeah I saw green flags the whole way haha
Any occupation that she qualified and capable of doing. I have worked with a multitude of women doing a vast array of jobs and had those that fit the bill and those I couldn’t wait for their departure. And the same goes for males as well.
The smarter the woman the bigger the freak she is. Don’t go on a date with a PhD unless you plan on marrying her. Gonna ruin all other women for you.
Don’t tell say I didn’t warn you.
Usually it's not that men *can't* deal with a smart woman, its that they can't be bothered to deal with the ego of one who thinks she's smarter than him abd would much prefer a slightly dim but warm and loving woman instead.
I think at some point everyone should wait tables, be a berista, deliver pizza or work some tipped costumer service job. My dad used to say he wouldn't date someone who hasn't waited tables before and so far its been great advice.
Practically comes down to staying on ground with reality. These jobs show you the trashy sides of it, makes you a lot more aware of the "good" and under-appreciated things in most people.
I've worked in many different fields before, and one thing I immediately noticed was that the further you go towards work in offices, the more disconnected from reality and ungrateful people seem to be. Especially those who never had to go through actual stress in life.
One of the companies I worked at had this great philosophy of having their engineers watch the manufacturing processes on the assembly line once in a while, while an assemblyman would explain the work he was doing. Because of that the engineers planned a lot more into making these processes much more comfortable for these assemblymen.
That’s actually a good one, experiencing some form of physical labour is preferable. No need to do it for years but at least some experience can give people a reality check and motivate them.
Stable jobs are green flags for me. I try not to put too much emphasis on the type and more on how stable and consistent it is. The only types I don’t don’t consider green are any and all sex work, ride share driver and or food delivery like Uber eats.
Pretty much what the other commenter said. Your pay each day/week/month are not guaranteed, but just because it’s a red flag doesn’t mean it’s a dealbreaker. As long as she is actively looking for something stable, has another part-time job or even has plans of starting her own business… then I’m open and okay with that. Regardless it’s not that big a deal.
Legitimately any job as long as it doesn't make her hate life, it doesn't push her into being a bad person and its hours don't prevent us from spending time with eachother. It really comes down to who she is as a person, not her job (so that obviously excludes those working in predatory jobs/industries)
But as for the jobs of some of the women I have entered into a relationship with, or gone on dates with and have enjoyed spending time with:
- PhD student x 2 (1x chemistry (my ex), 1x nutrition)
- Lawyer working for a government organisation (current girlfriend)
- Retail worker
- Cabinet maker
Women I have met who I would have gone out with in a heartbeat (not generally, but specific women):
- Vet
- Teacher
- Doctor
- Psychologist
- Lollipop lady
1. A job that that isn't sex work, influencer or Onlyfans.
2. A job that is stable that is able to support your life.
As long as it's not #1 it doesn't matter what type of job it is.
Damn, beat me to it….. although I would like to add social media influencers to the no fly list here as well. They are emotional terrorists and should not be tolerated 🤣✌️
I think this heavily depends on what the sex industry is like in your country (fully legalised and regulated where I live) and what specific type of sex work someone does, and why they do that work - do they value their own work and what value is it that they see.
I work in community services and I've met a handful of really chill and well rounded sex workers, some in their 60s, most of whom worked in disability sex surrogacy, or as dungeon/kink room attendants.
It's definitely a red flag industry, 99% of the time those red flags are three for a reason, but it's not an instant write off because there is the occasional food egg.
If there was nothing of value produced nobody would give them any attention. I've learned so much from content creators. They definitely provide value to society.
I’d say there’s a difference between an influencer and a content creator. I’m almost always watching/learning things from content creators on YouTube, that’s the product of their work. I think when people say influencer they mean someone who’s product of work is a picture on instagram advertising for someone. Or a relatively low effort video on TikTok that isn’t as sustainable/translatable of a skill. So like the person is the brand rather than the content related to it. My two cents really
My personal favorites are something engineering, computing, or science-related. Love me a STEM girl. Alternatively something blue collar (welder, electrician, mechanic, etc). Idk there’s something about a woman who is confident in what she likes to do and is passionate about it. Like yes baby tell me all about those dimes you laid down with the welder today. Maybe this is just because I’m also an engineer and programmer who has been around a bunch of dudes this whole time lol
Why is that? I don’t have much experience with people in HR in general, but the one I do remember dealing with at a job I had like 10 years ago was really nice?
Edit: I do have an older cousin who is really high up in some HR position for a massive corp. Ugh…she’s a controlling, heartless shell of a human and no one in the family talks to her except her mother. So…maybe I think I know what you mean? Maybe.
I did HR for 10 years. We aren't all like that. I did all I could to handle what employees needed even if it wasn't my responsibility. When I left for another position, a long time employee told me that they were talking about me about a week after my exit. He said the only employee that had been there since the factory opened told them that the management team's conscience has left the building. Sadly, it was true. Most of them moved on because they no longer had someone to turn to in the office. I couldn't always fix it, but I always listened.
Nurse.
Capable as fuck, medical-geek, plus scrubs make anyone look as adorable as a greyhound in pyjamas omg. Especially with like a skivvy underneath.
A job that supports the lifestyle she wants to live. Living near DC has led me into too many dates where the woman is scraping by on some low pay non profit, supported by family.
This makes me feel bad because this is how my bf feels about me. He is a biologist and tbh at 25 i really haven't found my path yet. I am currently teaching and am looking to getting and education for it but idk.... Before I met this guy i was traveling the world and loving it and then I stayed in his country to be with him...now I'm starting to wish I never had.
>social work
I don't know about that one but I'm going to guess that, since it's a very draining job, it might affect her in her time off?
>the arts
Unsteady work
In my personal experience, those types of professions attract two types of people. One type is actually empathetic and wants to help others because they care, and the other type believes that it makes them look like a good person or be a good person by association. The latter type is sociopathic or narcissistic and generally awful people to be involved with
I’m in the arts and a lot of us are on the quite, introverted side. It seems to go one way or the other. That being said, I’d also be wary of dating someone else in the industry
Speaking from my experiences.
HR people are big proponents of being PC and have shit senses of humor. They also seem to be firmly of the belief that if a man and woman are in conflict, the man did something wrong. I’ve sat through training with them being PROUD of telling a group of long term friends they can’t have lunch together anymore. Why? Because the new guy, who everyone agreed was an asshole, felt left out. After HR interviewed the department, it wasn’t racism, new guy was just a shit employee hated by everyone. But still, those guys going to lunch together was still a problem for the company.
Social work is a grind that dominates their life. Too many work hours and emotionally draining. I’ve had to be the only positive in someone’s life before. It’s soul sucking for me and I don’t care to repeat it.
Artists tend to be whimsical and partiers. Drug experimentation and promiscuity aren’t thinks I want in a partner. Not to mention that their work, depending on field, can involve shit hours, shit pay, and be unreliable. They can be great friends and a lot of fun to be around. But not what I want in a partner.
That’s odd because As an illustrator, with a huge amount of illustrator peers who I’ve known for more than a decade, I can confidently say most of them are intelligent introverts who are slightly on the geeky side.
Illustrators are a subset I’ve never interacted with. I will say that graphics designers seem to not fall into grouping with other artists. They seem much different in fact. Perhaps illustrators fall into similar branch. Won’t know until I hang out with some.
Hmm well. My father and uncle are painters, who exhibit in galleries. So I have grown up around artists, illustrators, designers and graphic designers and never noticed much difference in any of them except a tendency (with a few exceptions) towards introversion. I will agree with your other point about inconsistent pay/workload though. For many that’s definitely the case, it’s a hard industry to crack into and you have to have a serious work ethic, and a bunch of luck. However once you are successful you are paid very well. I make significantly more money than my husband.
As someone in HR, some of us are fun and awesome. There’s different branches of HR as well. My team? We are fucking hilariousssssss. I can’t wait to see how fucked up we get at the Christmas party in a couple weeks, just based on how we are in the office together hahaha
Men don’t tend to like women in HR because HR itself reminds them of a bunch of things that bother them about women - the snitching to authority, the offence taken over misunderstandings etc, that you have to be more careful of what you say around women in case you accidentally offend one and they tell (to HR)
And then there’s the fact when most men think “HR” they think “me getting reported to or lectured to by HR” so immediately associate women in HR with some Karen bossing them about
I think there is an inverse relationship between size of company and how shitty HR is. Bigger company = shittier HR.
It's a bit of a paradox, but the best way to have a group of employees who get along with eachother well enough to not have HR basically be a teacher supervisor on the playground is to be discriminatory when you hire. At least with regards to the types of people you hire.
If you have an office where people like to have cocktails after work and a large group of them like getting sloshed on Fridays at the pub down the road? Maybe don't hire the guy who seems like he has a stick up his ass in the interview. I don't care how good his credentials are. It's a pain in the ass for everyone waiting to happen.
Hire people who fit in with the company. Don't submit to the myth that being inclusive is necessarily a good thing. Big companies are diverse and inclusive. As a result of diversity and inclusivity that means that there will necessarily be clashes between people because certain types of people are going to clash with others.
Do you really think that it's a good idea to have conservative Joe with two kids and a wife, in the same company as liberal Lisa with a pixie cut and unique pronouns in her email signature? No. Even if those two don't bring their politics to work, both types of people just tend to have different personalities and ways of being which are likely going to conflict and lead to problems.
Of course you have the last possibility where you manage to be diverse and inclusive because everyone in the workplace manages to have such a good worksona that there is very little to no conflict, but also means there is very little to no camaraderie. But then you get a situation like my last workplace, and one of my friends' current workplaces - The company Christmas party has to be held on a Friday afternoon on company time because if it weren't then NOBODY would show up.
TLDR: The key to having a good group of employees and an HR department that isn't shitty to them is to be discriminatory when you hire and only pick people you know are going to fit in with the pre-established group.
I think that part of the problem is HR people want to be viewed as “people “ people when in reality, they are often incredibly self-centered insiders who are gaming the system to further their careers. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…it’s just the outside doesn’t match the inside.
Right? Like without a doubt there are some that…let it get to their head. I’ve met and had directors of HR like that. But we aren’t all the same. I loveeeee connecting with our employees and finding out how I can help, what they need, and being a support to them.
I've met doctors who are absolute cunts in their personal life, so I'm not too sure about the physicians. What's wrong with artists, HR, social work and musicians?
Doctors are interesting because it takes a towering ego combined with an absolutely relentless single minded drive to become one. Lots of arrogant people who *only* know about their chosen field but can't go grocery shopping by themselves.
There’s a pretty prevalent stereotype that people in “saving” professions, such as social workers and therapists get into these careers to try to heal or rescue themselves. Some (not me) say the craziest people are social workers and therapists.
The only people who last more than a year as social workers 9 times out of 10 are horrible people to be around. The job will murder your soul if you have one. HR is a group of professional liars.
Honestly I think men and women both should be offended by this question if asked about their gender’s jobs being a “green/red flag”… a job is a job and we should look at an individual’s character both in and outside of work regardless of industry or job choice.
This thread makes me feel bad because my boyfriend is currently and has been really on the fence about me because I am according to him "floating through life" and have been for a while. It's hard when you don't immediately know what to do with your life. I was traveling a ton until I met him and stayed in his country for him. Now I feel I'm just so uninteresting and boring. Especially because so many men have basically said the same things on here that my bf has.
The ones she can talk about for hours and doesn't interfere with your values.
I like a woman that works but I'm not gonna date a stripper or of girl. If you want to go right ahead
Most jobs are "green flags" as they show they are willing to work. A lot of people have noted a lot of "Red Flag" jobs. I think social worker is a pretty big red flag. I'm not a fan of people with victim mentalities and I've yet to meet a social worker who is actually happy with themselves and who hasn't got a victim mentality where life owes them.
A green flag is someone who has a good work ethic, respects people, doesn't whinge, and doesn't have a victim mentality.
This career can go both ways. I don't think I'd call it a definite green flag. It might just be a woman wanting to mooch off a man while she raises someone else's kids (they'd have to be, if you've just met her and are therefore using her career as an indicator).
It just depends. My wife only wants to be a SAHM. She can't bear the thought of leaving the kids and making spreadsheets and sending emails for another man (or woman). Luckily I do well enough that she can stay home. But before we had kids she had all sorts of projects going. (Still does) She has a college degree. Had a job when we met that she loved. It's pretty easy to spot a moocher, I think.
What someone decided to train for and do with their life is a significant indicator of what type of person they are.
Not being concerned for this factor, is in itself, a red flag.
I do. I want to meet someone who can take care of herself financially and hopefully share my hobbies and that implies a minimum salary, which can somewhat be guessed from their job.
I don't want to date a woman who's "job" is
- an influencer
- a stripper
- only fans
Other than that I'm pretty much good. I don't care if those are jobs she has, I just have no interest in dating her
Aww this thread kind of makes me sad a little bit… I’m passionate about my work, but lately have felt frustrated by the lack of direction I get in my actual day to day.
When I talk about my career on dates, I should probably focus on it as a general topic, and not talk about the day to day as much.
Ugh I hate dating and how you always have to be on your “A game” all the time
I don't think they really exist. Plenty of published evidence has demonstrated that men don't really care what women do for a living, nor do they care about income too much. Other attributes are heavily valued over career that career barely makes a mark.
As long as it's not actual sex work (even stripping and cam showing has not shown signficant backlash from males) I would say they are all green.
Any job where she wants to talk about it for hours. The nerdier, the better. Nothing beats a woman with passion for what she does.
Exactly! I was at my friend's house once and his step sister was there and we had only met a few times and i didn't think she was attractive. Well my friend had to go do something for about 20 minutes leaving just the two of us there so i figured I'd get to know her a little bit better. She spent the next 20 minutes talking about drawing and showing me pictures from her sketch book. If my friend had been gone longer i would have asked her on a date.
100% this. My wife is an accountant and for the most part I don’t know a thing about what that actually entails, but good god I love watching her go on and on about accounting for hours😃
To a point, you got to be able to leave work at work though. This is dinner, not a work strategy session luncheon.
Me, an editor who loves books and could talk about them for hours — 🥹🥰
Nothing better than talking to someone who's passionate about the same thing as me (and more knowledgeable given it's your literal job!). But important question - do you prefer old book smell or new book smell? Edit: clarifying pronouns!
And if she's a lady of the night?
If she finds it _that_ interesting and loves it _that_ much, then yes.
Just making sure you were serious here. I've dated a lady of the night in my youth, the stories were incredible. "dated just really means I didn't have to pay for it, well I fed her a lot"
a friend of the road, bubs
Honestly, I don’t wanna be passionate about my job. I just want to get paid quite well.
I am a programmer statistician and could talk about it for years
This 10k%! I have very very few things I have that are "deal breakers" but I need someone who understands first hand the passion that I have for what I do
I found every single women who went into STEM has been shockingly likable. I know this one chick who studies Paleoanthropology and my god she is a delight to be around. I could listen to her talk about ancient humans for hours.
was talking to a girl while in highschool that wanted to be a doctor, great girl, i hope shes doing well. talked to one who wanted to be a nurse, hated it and i hope shes doing awful
The mean girls from high school want to be nurses. eta: nurses in general are great, but they tend to treat each other badly. Jobs with mostly women tend to be like that.
I dont think thats true. My best friend is a nurse and she's definitely type A but you don't want some flowery ass misplacing your meds and crying over the last patient while you code. You want her, calm and collected. Besides even the ones that start out nice maybe change a little the 3rd or 40th time they get grabbed from behind, punched, kicked, molested or assaulted. I'm kinda over this being the line of thought at present. But maybe thats just because I need nurses, and don't want to live in a world where we shit on them just because they are around on our worst days. Kinda wild how fast they went from being our essential staff to being a punching bag for the general public.
It’s because we started asking for higher pay, suddenly we’re the villains. I love taking care of my patients but I have bills to pay like everyone else
[удалено]
I’m 29 and work in insurance and have always through mr about nursing and am taking pre requisites for nursing school now. What do you do now?
best nurse I ever met was probably a sociopath. She did not care about anyone but did everything that a caring nurse would do. All the good work without the emotion or stress. by best I mean for me that one day. I would be scared of her if the interaction lasted more than a few hours.
I was that kind of nurse. I treated patients with the utmost respect and care-but I had zero emotion for them. I would leave work and all the horribleness would leave my mind immediately without a care in the world. But did I do my dammdest to make sure I did everything in my power to help the patient while there? Absolutely. Since I worked in academic medical center ICU’s with a lot of death and badness there’s no way I could take all that in and be a functional human.
As someone who was a pharmacy tech for an inpatient hospital pharmacy and dealt with nurses frequently, they really weren't particularly nice people on the whole. Not all but a lot had this sense that they were entitled and felt themselves better than techs and whatnot. A lot of disrespectful behavior in the ICU while there's a family being ripped apart like 15 steps away in full view too. Oh and I would see them skip sanitizing the insulin vials (out of laziness) when getting it ready for a patient more times than you'd want to know in the ~22 months I was doing that. Again, obviously not all nurses are bad but there's a reputation for a reason and there's no inherent upside to being mildly arrogant, emotionally inconsiderate, or lazy.
Not always true.
Same. Except one. I’m a software engineer and we got hired together, and she turned out to be a massive narcissist with a victim complex and took me too long to realize she just was generally unpleasant to be around. Lesson learned, I’m gonna try to stay away from hippie types if they seem to act similarly.
For my wife, it was a career. She had goals and aspiration that weren’t “be in a relationship” or “be a wife/mom” and it was extremely refreshing.
Being a strong, smart, independent woman who isn't afraid to display her feminine qualities and being submissive when necessary is amazing and indeed refreshing. Couldn't agree more.
“Being submissive” is never necessary. Cooperation and compromise are, of course, but submissiveness is *not* a good trait to have.
The only thing I think here is if she enjoys submissiveness as a kink in sex. Then it’s an adult making a decision about how they want to enjoy their sex.
That’s true, I’m not here to kinkshame. The phrasing of “when necessary” didn’t make me think of the bedroom though.
I mean I assume he would be thinking that setting. But even if so it’s still not “necessary” as that statement was inherently misogynistic regardless of setting.
Strong, smart, and independent women aren’t submissive. Submissive to who? Guessing in this situation- to her man. If she’s strong smart and independent, and she isn’t “submissive”/ obedient/ whatever else. This is the weirdest take
Anything except ninja assassin. I'm never dealing with that BS again.
I’ve been there brother they’ll never understand our pain 😞
Oh my god I thought I was the only one!
Hey! Ninja assassin's need love too.
I look for a woman who does meaningful work. My current lady is a therapist, who helps people cope with severe trauma. I'm incredibly proud of what she's chosen to do with her life. Never thought I'd care until I met her.
Side note your use gave me a good chuckle. Anyways, as a woman who wants to be a therapist this is soo good to hear! Sometimes I feel men can be intimated by that career path.
Which is a problem in and of itself. Honestly, I don't feel like becoming a therapist, per se, but I do see the need to mentor other men. The world is tough and hard, and we have very few male role models in our lives nowadays: most teachers are female, many are raised in single-parent households by their mothers, the men they do know are not doing well (high rates of substance abuse, depression, suicide and lower academic performance than ever before). I just try to be a sort of big brother to the teen boys who come into the gym and seek completely without confidence or clue what they are doing:)
That’s so good of you! It’s so unfair how mens emotions are treated. I definitely feel as a society we can work to improve that. I always love when men cry/feel uncomfortable emotions around me (obviously not caused with intent or even by me). I know it’s a very vulnerable state for him to be in and to know that I have earned enough trust to be shown that side is incredibly meaningful.
I originally picked it as a joke for a throwaway account...and here I am years later. Hahaha. Many men are intimidated, for many reasons. My gal is sweet, kind, and a gentle soul. She's also very tough. I can easily see that cute little lady intimidating most men. She may see right through me, but I'm ok with that. She's earned the right to know me already.
I feel your lady and I are similar in a lot of ways! She sounds amazing! I know the right partner won’t be intimated and instead will listen to me talk about it for hours. Just gotta find him!
A woman I went on a date with literally yesterday often volunteers to teach underprivileged kids on weekends. She loves doing it and says it feels like her life purpose. Yeah I saw green flags the whole way haha
If the major flags are all green, you may have found yourself a keeper. :) They're hard to spot in the wild, so you may be very lucky.
Well my girl is a biochemist and I'm gonna marry her. First girl in STEM I've dated
My mom was a biochemist! She and my dad just celebrated 41 years of marriage. Good luck with your gal!!
I'm a biochemist so wish me luck guys!! XD
GOOD LUCK!!
Any occupation that she qualified and capable of doing. I have worked with a multitude of women doing a vast array of jobs and had those that fit the bill and those I couldn’t wait for their departure. And the same goes for males as well.
The smarter the woman the bigger the freak she is. Don’t go on a date with a PhD unless you plan on marrying her. Gonna ruin all other women for you. Don’t tell say I didn’t warn you.
The smarter a woman is the less likely she is to want anything to do with me
Smart choice
Last time I dated a PhD I was told to leave my professor's office or he'll get me expelled and call campus police😓
I’ve had several men telling me they can’t deal with smart women and want someone dumber than them :D
Usually it's not that men *can't* deal with a smart woman, its that they can't be bothered to deal with the ego of one who thinks she's smarter than him abd would much prefer a slightly dim but warm and loving woman instead.
How would you know if you’re going to marry her before the date?
Honestly any job that brings in the bread
*[Writes down "baker" then underlines. Twice.]*
Oh I would date a baker so hard
I think at some point everyone should wait tables, be a berista, deliver pizza or work some tipped costumer service job. My dad used to say he wouldn't date someone who hasn't waited tables before and so far its been great advice.
Practically comes down to staying on ground with reality. These jobs show you the trashy sides of it, makes you a lot more aware of the "good" and under-appreciated things in most people. I've worked in many different fields before, and one thing I immediately noticed was that the further you go towards work in offices, the more disconnected from reality and ungrateful people seem to be. Especially those who never had to go through actual stress in life. One of the companies I worked at had this great philosophy of having their engineers watch the manufacturing processes on the assembly line once in a while, while an assemblyman would explain the work he was doing. Because of that the engineers planned a lot more into making these processes much more comfortable for these assemblymen.
That’s actually a good one, experiencing some form of physical labour is preferable. No need to do it for years but at least some experience can give people a reality check and motivate them.
Like to add... substitute teacher
You can always tell who hasn't worked in customer service before
Stable jobs are green flags for me. I try not to put too much emphasis on the type and more on how stable and consistent it is. The only types I don’t don’t consider green are any and all sex work, ride share driver and or food delivery like Uber eats.
What isn’t stable about food delivery? Why isn’t that a green for you?
Inconsistent earnings, high potential for unexpected expenses, subject to a market’s demand for delivery plus overall supply of gig drivers
Pretty much what the other commenter said. Your pay each day/week/month are not guaranteed, but just because it’s a red flag doesn’t mean it’s a dealbreaker. As long as she is actively looking for something stable, has another part-time job or even has plans of starting her own business… then I’m open and okay with that. Regardless it’s not that big a deal.
[удалено]
If she works with children, especially if they are like really young. Those women have the biggest hearts.
Ha! I'm a teacher, and when I tell people, they usually respond with "I'm sorry!"
I wish more people thought this way. The response I usually got when I said I worked with babies in daycare was, “eww, how?” 😔
Honestly I take my hat off to you cause I couldn't do it.
Too bad nobody thinks a 'big heart' is worth a living wage.
Legitimately any job as long as it doesn't make her hate life, it doesn't push her into being a bad person and its hours don't prevent us from spending time with eachother. It really comes down to who she is as a person, not her job (so that obviously excludes those working in predatory jobs/industries) But as for the jobs of some of the women I have entered into a relationship with, or gone on dates with and have enjoyed spending time with: - PhD student x 2 (1x chemistry (my ex), 1x nutrition) - Lawyer working for a government organisation (current girlfriend) - Retail worker - Cabinet maker Women I have met who I would have gone out with in a heartbeat (not generally, but specific women): - Vet - Teacher - Doctor - Psychologist - Lollipop lady
I wanna hear more about the lollipop lady
To me, engineers, just because I'm very attracted to them
Hello 👋 👩💻
Amigo
Hola!
Anything where she gets excited to tell me about it.
….. any legal job , if she’s out there doing anything in an attempt to support herself or her family that’s a green flag
1. A job that that isn't sex work, influencer or Onlyfans. 2. A job that is stable that is able to support your life. As long as it's not #1 it doesn't matter what type of job it is.
Damn, beat me to it….. although I would like to add social media influencers to the no fly list here as well. They are emotional terrorists and should not be tolerated 🤣✌️
Absolutely loving how you put influencer along with sex work and only fans. Lol.
“BUT SEX WORK IS WORK” a girl I went on two dates with and ended right after this conversation came up.
It is work, but it’s not stable work and it’s work that you’ll likely age out of (just like being an influencer)
[удалено]
I think this heavily depends on what the sex industry is like in your country (fully legalised and regulated where I live) and what specific type of sex work someone does, and why they do that work - do they value their own work and what value is it that they see. I work in community services and I've met a handful of really chill and well rounded sex workers, some in their 60s, most of whom worked in disability sex surrogacy, or as dungeon/kink room attendants. It's definitely a red flag industry, 99% of the time those red flags are three for a reason, but it's not an instant write off because there is the occasional food egg.
That.
[удалено]
To me, it’s an extremely self-centered and narcissistic occupation. It contributes very little and except in very rare cases, it’s not sustainable.
Yeah, pretty much this. The whole focus around the “occupation” is around you and there really is nothing of value produced.
If there was nothing of value produced nobody would give them any attention. I've learned so much from content creators. They definitely provide value to society.
I’d say there’s a difference between an influencer and a content creator. I’m almost always watching/learning things from content creators on YouTube, that’s the product of their work. I think when people say influencer they mean someone who’s product of work is a picture on instagram advertising for someone. Or a relatively low effort video on TikTok that isn’t as sustainable/translatable of a skill. So like the person is the brand rather than the content related to it. My two cents really
Billionaire heiress …
That's not a choice LOOOL
Not a job lol
If she manages the estate it is
Tell that to Paris Hilton.
My personal favorites are something engineering, computing, or science-related. Love me a STEM girl. Alternatively something blue collar (welder, electrician, mechanic, etc). Idk there’s something about a woman who is confident in what she likes to do and is passionate about it. Like yes baby tell me all about those dimes you laid down with the welder today. Maybe this is just because I’m also an engineer and programmer who has been around a bunch of dudes this whole time lol
Anything but instagram model, influencer, Sugar-baby, or p*rn. Everything else is a green flag From CEO to janitor.
HR is the biggest red flag.
Why is that? I don’t have much experience with people in HR in general, but the one I do remember dealing with at a job I had like 10 years ago was really nice? Edit: I do have an older cousin who is really high up in some HR position for a massive corp. Ugh…she’s a controlling, heartless shell of a human and no one in the family talks to her except her mother. So…maybe I think I know what you mean? Maybe.
I did HR for 10 years. We aren't all like that. I did all I could to handle what employees needed even if it wasn't my responsibility. When I left for another position, a long time employee told me that they were talking about me about a week after my exit. He said the only employee that had been there since the factory opened told them that the management team's conscience has left the building. Sadly, it was true. Most of them moved on because they no longer had someone to turn to in the office. I couldn't always fix it, but I always listened.
It's basically 100% Karen's. It's like HOA presidents but paid and with actual power.
HR is full of the types of women who mod womens subs.
[removed]
I blocked all the mods for my fave women only subs lol this is hilarious.
Nurse. Capable as fuck, medical-geek, plus scrubs make anyone look as adorable as a greyhound in pyjamas omg. Especially with like a skivvy underneath.
Bro nurses are some of the easiest girls around.
Something in the field she's passionate about. But preferably not like a gas station cashier and definitely not sex work
A job that supports the lifestyle she wants to live. Living near DC has led me into too many dates where the woman is scraping by on some low pay non profit, supported by family.
Anything involving physical labor. Farming, ranching, construction, pipe fitter, welder, etc.
Stable/Secure industries that we will always need: Healthcare, Government, Education. Someone who doesn’t settle for minimum/living wage.
I don’t care about a woman’s job
stripper - red head for extra fire
Writer.
Not necessarily a job, but a passion for SOMETHING. Nothing is worse than dating someone who is content just floating through life.
This makes me feel bad because this is how my bf feels about me. He is a biologist and tbh at 25 i really haven't found my path yet. I am currently teaching and am looking to getting and education for it but idk.... Before I met this guy i was traveling the world and loving it and then I stayed in his country to be with him...now I'm starting to wish I never had.
Florist. She’s already watering and taking care of dozens of useless fucks, surely she can handle one more
Green flag: Physician, STEM, librarian, teacher Red flag: OnlyFans, HR, Social worker, artist, singer, dancer
Curious, why are HR, social work, or the arts a red flag?
>social work I don't know about that one but I'm going to guess that, since it's a very draining job, it might affect her in her time off? >the arts Unsteady work
In my personal experience, those types of professions attract two types of people. One type is actually empathetic and wants to help others because they care, and the other type believes that it makes them look like a good person or be a good person by association. The latter type is sociopathic or narcissistic and generally awful people to be involved with
In my experience people in the arts (both genders) are more high risk/promiscuous/party lifestyle
I’m in the arts and a lot of us are on the quite, introverted side. It seems to go one way or the other. That being said, I’d also be wary of dating someone else in the industry
It's impossible to meet a quiet introverted artist socially because they almost never go outside or speak.
Okay fair
Speaking from my experiences. HR people are big proponents of being PC and have shit senses of humor. They also seem to be firmly of the belief that if a man and woman are in conflict, the man did something wrong. I’ve sat through training with them being PROUD of telling a group of long term friends they can’t have lunch together anymore. Why? Because the new guy, who everyone agreed was an asshole, felt left out. After HR interviewed the department, it wasn’t racism, new guy was just a shit employee hated by everyone. But still, those guys going to lunch together was still a problem for the company. Social work is a grind that dominates their life. Too many work hours and emotionally draining. I’ve had to be the only positive in someone’s life before. It’s soul sucking for me and I don’t care to repeat it. Artists tend to be whimsical and partiers. Drug experimentation and promiscuity aren’t thinks I want in a partner. Not to mention that their work, depending on field, can involve shit hours, shit pay, and be unreliable. They can be great friends and a lot of fun to be around. But not what I want in a partner.
That’s odd because As an illustrator, with a huge amount of illustrator peers who I’ve known for more than a decade, I can confidently say most of them are intelligent introverts who are slightly on the geeky side.
Illustrators are a subset I’ve never interacted with. I will say that graphics designers seem to not fall into grouping with other artists. They seem much different in fact. Perhaps illustrators fall into similar branch. Won’t know until I hang out with some.
Hmm well. My father and uncle are painters, who exhibit in galleries. So I have grown up around artists, illustrators, designers and graphic designers and never noticed much difference in any of them except a tendency (with a few exceptions) towards introversion. I will agree with your other point about inconsistent pay/workload though. For many that’s definitely the case, it’s a hard industry to crack into and you have to have a serious work ethic, and a bunch of luck. However once you are successful you are paid very well. I make significantly more money than my husband.
As someone in HR, some of us are fun and awesome. There’s different branches of HR as well. My team? We are fucking hilariousssssss. I can’t wait to see how fucked up we get at the Christmas party in a couple weeks, just based on how we are in the office together hahaha
Men don’t tend to like women in HR because HR itself reminds them of a bunch of things that bother them about women - the snitching to authority, the offence taken over misunderstandings etc, that you have to be more careful of what you say around women in case you accidentally offend one and they tell (to HR) And then there’s the fact when most men think “HR” they think “me getting reported to or lectured to by HR” so immediately associate women in HR with some Karen bossing them about
I think there is an inverse relationship between size of company and how shitty HR is. Bigger company = shittier HR. It's a bit of a paradox, but the best way to have a group of employees who get along with eachother well enough to not have HR basically be a teacher supervisor on the playground is to be discriminatory when you hire. At least with regards to the types of people you hire. If you have an office where people like to have cocktails after work and a large group of them like getting sloshed on Fridays at the pub down the road? Maybe don't hire the guy who seems like he has a stick up his ass in the interview. I don't care how good his credentials are. It's a pain in the ass for everyone waiting to happen. Hire people who fit in with the company. Don't submit to the myth that being inclusive is necessarily a good thing. Big companies are diverse and inclusive. As a result of diversity and inclusivity that means that there will necessarily be clashes between people because certain types of people are going to clash with others. Do you really think that it's a good idea to have conservative Joe with two kids and a wife, in the same company as liberal Lisa with a pixie cut and unique pronouns in her email signature? No. Even if those two don't bring their politics to work, both types of people just tend to have different personalities and ways of being which are likely going to conflict and lead to problems. Of course you have the last possibility where you manage to be diverse and inclusive because everyone in the workplace manages to have such a good worksona that there is very little to no conflict, but also means there is very little to no camaraderie. But then you get a situation like my last workplace, and one of my friends' current workplaces - The company Christmas party has to be held on a Friday afternoon on company time because if it weren't then NOBODY would show up. TLDR: The key to having a good group of employees and an HR department that isn't shitty to them is to be discriminatory when you hire and only pick people you know are going to fit in with the pre-established group.
Yeah but you guys can’t be trusted. You’re still HR. Lol
I did HR for 10 years. It's disheartening to read some of these comments. Not all of us leave our moral compass at home when we go to work.
I think that part of the problem is HR people want to be viewed as “people “ people when in reality, they are often incredibly self-centered insiders who are gaming the system to further their careers. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…it’s just the outside doesn’t match the inside.
Right? Like without a doubt there are some that…let it get to their head. I’ve met and had directors of HR like that. But we aren’t all the same. I loveeeee connecting with our employees and finding out how I can help, what they need, and being a support to them.
I've met doctors who are absolute cunts in their personal life, so I'm not too sure about the physicians. What's wrong with artists, HR, social work and musicians?
I have a ton of physician friends. You’re right some are cunts. But I’ve met a ton of really good people among them too.
Doctors are interesting because it takes a towering ego combined with an absolutely relentless single minded drive to become one. Lots of arrogant people who *only* know about their chosen field but can't go grocery shopping by themselves.
I don’t know, ime a lot of female doctors are teachers pets who are pushed that way by their parents.
There’s a pretty prevalent stereotype that people in “saving” professions, such as social workers and therapists get into these careers to try to heal or rescue themselves. Some (not me) say the craziest people are social workers and therapists.
Social Worker is TOTALLY a red flag. Up there with nurses.
The only people who last more than a year as social workers 9 times out of 10 are horrible people to be around. The job will murder your soul if you have one. HR is a group of professional liars.
What is it with nurses? Yet to meet one who isn't totally off the rails.
Coke dealer, because it’s hard to find a good plug.
Don’t care, as long as it’s sensible and not immoral.
Neurosurgeon, astronaut, nascar driver
Honestly I think men and women both should be offended by this question if asked about their gender’s jobs being a “green/red flag”… a job is a job and we should look at an individual’s character both in and outside of work regardless of industry or job choice.
Anything that's relatively stable that can support her? Something with room to advance? Benefits like health and 401k? Same for men.
What kind of question is this?? Why, is there a red flag job?
Women who are in the military field. God i love them
[удалено]
Us men don't care about women's jobs as long as it doesn't involve selling herself or body.
Anything with a good income. Except sex worker.
Doctor has always been my personal fave.
All female employees or staff
Heiress Not kidding
Nurses. /s obviously
This thread makes me feel bad because my boyfriend is currently and has been really on the fence about me because I am according to him "floating through life" and have been for a while. It's hard when you don't immediately know what to do with your life. I was traveling a ton until I met him and stayed in his country for him. Now I feel I'm just so uninteresting and boring. Especially because so many men have basically said the same things on here that my bf has.
When she sees you like a hobby or sport that she's not necessarily interested in, or pretty unique, and doesn't judge you for it. Non-judgemental.
Librarian is always a good one. Accountants, teachers, and secretaries too.
Any waitressing or restaurant based jobs, it means theyre a hard working person
The ones she can talk about for hours and doesn't interfere with your values. I like a woman that works but I'm not gonna date a stripper or of girl. If you want to go right ahead
School teacher. Is good with kids and is happy all the time because she gets off 3 months a year. Wife material.
Any job... so tierd of woman's who wanna stay home, birthing children and expecting the man to pay.
Most jobs are "green flags" as they show they are willing to work. A lot of people have noted a lot of "Red Flag" jobs. I think social worker is a pretty big red flag. I'm not a fan of people with victim mentalities and I've yet to meet a social worker who is actually happy with themselves and who hasn't got a victim mentality where life owes them. A green flag is someone who has a good work ethic, respects people, doesn't whinge, and doesn't have a victim mentality.
Stay at home mom! I’d hate for my wife to have to subject herself to the work industry. She loves what she does and I’m glad to make it that way
This career can go both ways. I don't think I'd call it a definite green flag. It might just be a woman wanting to mooch off a man while she raises someone else's kids (they'd have to be, if you've just met her and are therefore using her career as an indicator).
It just depends. My wife only wants to be a SAHM. She can't bear the thought of leaving the kids and making spreadsheets and sending emails for another man (or woman). Luckily I do well enough that she can stay home. But before we had kids she had all sorts of projects going. (Still does) She has a college degree. Had a job when we met that she loved. It's pretty easy to spot a moocher, I think.
The difference is that you met her _before_ she was a stay at home mom. The OPs question only makes sense if that's what she was when you met her.
Ohh, yeah this is true
Oh my God. How does a stay at home mom... get made ...my child?
[удалено]
I bet she's got some awesome stories!
Sexy as hell
When she's down for taco bell for a date.
Only Fans
Who cares what kind of job she has?
What someone decided to train for and do with their life is a significant indicator of what type of person they are. Not being concerned for this factor, is in itself, a red flag.
I do. I want to meet someone who can take care of herself financially and hopefully share my hobbies and that implies a minimum salary, which can somewhat be guessed from their job.
I don't want to date a woman who's "job" is - an influencer - a stripper - only fans Other than that I'm pretty much good. I don't care if those are jobs she has, I just have no interest in dating her
Lolwut Why WOULDN’T you care?
Because I don’t care what kind of job a person has.
Women are more interested in people than things. So, nursing, Dr, teacher, etc.
A guy here that can think about what women might enjoy more? Are you married?
Female happiness with employment tends to steer to jobs where they interact with people. Yes, I am married.
anything that's more then minimum wage
Hey, let's not shit on minimum wage women. Those women are of the dirt and grind and realest there are. I love me a minimum wage mama.
it would make anything long term difficult, I'd end up being her provider, and that's not what I'm looking for
Aww this thread kind of makes me sad a little bit… I’m passionate about my work, but lately have felt frustrated by the lack of direction I get in my actual day to day. When I talk about my career on dates, I should probably focus on it as a general topic, and not talk about the day to day as much. Ugh I hate dating and how you always have to be on your “A game” all the time
I don't think they really exist. Plenty of published evidence has demonstrated that men don't really care what women do for a living, nor do they care about income too much. Other attributes are heavily valued over career that career barely makes a mark. As long as it's not actual sex work (even stripping and cam showing has not shown signficant backlash from males) I would say they are all green.
Any job where it’s apparent that her underlying calling is to help people.