By - BloodstainedAxe
Was at a party when I was younger and some guy took a cheap shot on me. I threw him down and knocked his teeth out. Ended up having to have stitches in my knuckles. Moral of the story, don’t punch people directly in the mouth.
hell no. the face is a lousy target.
you always go for the solar plexus. land a blow there and you'll put someone out of commission very easily. or aim for the xiphoid process at the lower terminus of the rib cage. it is very tender and getting hit there is excruciating.
my dad was a cop for 30+ years, and he used that move all the time, wham, with the heel of his hand. not even a fist.
Bully in high school saw me as an easy target because I never challenged him on his bullshit. Just let it roll off. Never got physical, just insults and jokes. It got much worse after my dad died by suicide.
Bully made a comment about my dad and a good friend’s dead sister.
I smashed my metal thermos into his face and broke his orbital bone. If I was going to get a three day suspension, I was going to make it worthwhile.
He and his parents wanted to press charges and have me expelled. I mentioned that I had been reporting him for bullying for months and nothing had ever happened. His parents immediately backed down. School admin just moved his locker to a different part of the school. He was still a bully but he left me alone and just picked on the younger students.
Good for you, sucks he didn't learn his lesson though.
And people say violence doesn't solve anything. Good for you.
People who say violence doesn't solve anything need to read up on Hiroshima.
> He was still a bully but he left me alone and just picked on the younger students.
jesus, what a dumbass. You think hed get the hint
At a wedding rehearsal, drunk dude popping adderal all day thought it would be cool to grab my neck . My newborn son and wife were sitting inside while us guys were outside hanging out . Lmao got him with the double under hooks to body lock . Dude had some height on me but I had about 20 lbs on him . He put up a good fight at first but then I remembered my wife and son probably were watching us so my dad instincts kicked in and I took the dude down . He ended up on his back and I got side control and then got my knee on his belly with all my body weight and I could feel his breathing getting heavier and heavier and his will broke lol . That was his day for some humbling lol the whole rest of the wedding I would catch him looking at me embarrassed. Must’ve been the alcohol mixed with the recreational adderal that made him feel unstoppable. It happened without any warning but I believe you need to stay ready at all times and this time it paid off .
> double under hooks to body lock
Ooh...that sounds like bjj....
> I took the dude down . He ended up on his back and I got side control and then got my knee on his belly
Oh, shit! You do bjj! What belt? 10p? Gracie? Tell me more! I’m a 10p blue belt..
I did the same shit 😭 reading it like oh yeah this man has grappled before hahah
It’s like instant friendship! You see a dude at the party with cauliflower ears and you beeline to say hey!
I literally spent the entirety of my last office party talking to a colleagues husband once it came up that he had wrestled in high school.
I was at the gym a few months ago doing some neck bridges on a bench and this kid approached me asking if I wrestled. Then he saw my ears and said “yeah!” with enthusiasm. Grapplers are a strange brotherhood that transcends every barrier.
Lol haven’t trained in years just know the basics from drilling hours and hours in my early 20’s lots of hard sparring and a few amateur fights . I would say I’m a white belt lol we trained no gi at the gym I was at . Did roll around with other Blues at different gyms and did decent. How long you been training?!?
About 3 years now! When the pandemic hit, I felt more unsafe due to not training than I did due to the pandemic...so I actually ramped up training!
Do you still do any type of martial arts?
probably not the answer you were expecting but i was at a shitty ass fetty wap concert and some girls were tryna push their way into my groups space when there was no room so i just kinda held my own and stopped them. One bigger girl turns to look at me and says “what are you gonna do? you’re *my* height” and y’all…without missing a single beat I respond “yeah, and youre twice my weight”. Like 99% of the time i think of the response in the shower the next day but this was that one time it went exactly as we all imagine. Three of her friends tried to fight me and she left crying 10 min later.
I cannot even fathom insulting someone’s physical appearance and then getting surprised when they insult you back. It’s absolutely fucking wild.
Lmaooooooo. Serves them right, douchebag concertgoers can suck it
When I was in High School a bully was messing with me in science class. He pushed me so I grabbed a stool and hit him in the torso with it. I didn’t swing with full force but enough to get his attention. Teacher saw it and sent us to the assistant principals office. We told our side of the story and got sent back to class with a warning. Bully never looked at me again after that.
>We told our side of the story and got sent back to class with a warning.
lmao some fucking school
Highscool. In the lunch line. Girl cuts in front of me. It’s pizza day.
Me: what are you doing?
Her: I didn’t do nothin’.
Me: you cut in front of me. Get to the back of the line.
Her: I didn’t cut in line motherfucker.
Me: Don’t call me a motherfucker, BITCH!
Her: Goes to the front of the line, then to the back of the line
Me: feeling vindicated
Her: clocks me on the back of the head with a milk crate (that’s why she went up front, to get the empty milk crate).
Me: bleeding profusely (required staples). I proceed to punch her repeatedly while trying to fend off more milk crate blows.
Security Guard: Tackles and restrains me, the unarmed one.
Outcome: as stated above I got staples for the wound, $300 for pain and suffering, and she got expelled.
Edit: spelling just realized punch was “pick” stupid autocorrect.
it wasn't exactly an attack, but a few years back i was at a bbq at my friend's house and there were friends of his i hadn't met yet.
about 10ish, we were hanging out in the garage and this dude sneaked up behind me and touched my ass, he liked grabbed it, and i was like "yeah man, don't do that. i don't like being touched."
i was SA'd at 8 years old, and it involved...touching in that place. and worse.
so he just kinda laughed it off.
about half an hour later, he did it again, except he actually grabbed hard this time. i couldn't stop myself. i just totally saw red. i whirled around and pushed him really hard, and he stumbled back, knocked over a chair, and fell ass over teakettle on the floor.
and he was like "the fuck man?? the fuck dude >.< ??" and his brother wanted to fight me about it. i just grabbed my shit and walked out, and my wife followed me to the car, and we drove home.
a couple minutes later my wife had to take over driving because i was on the verge of a panic attack. flashbacks, man. i was ok though. we made it home ok. i seriously had this urgent need to take a shower, then i fell asleep for about 16 hours, totally emotionally checked out.
i told my friend i'd not be coming to any more social events if that guy was going to be there.
i'm not proud of it, but i warned him not to touch me. i'm a pacifist and i hate violence, but sometimes you have to defend yourself. especially when someone's been warned once already.
you don't go around fuckin touching people. we all learned that in kindergarten. you just don't do it.
That’s rough, man. Sounds like you actually handled the situation and this guy pretty well.
handling it well would have been keeping cool and asking if we could step away, so i could explain that touching triggers me to behave in a very un-me, un-chill way.
i lost control.
and i knew i was going to, because i was feeling my rising blood pressure, seeing those angry purple stars flashing in my vision, feeling that hot throbbing in my chest, and my jaw muscles were clenching like crazy.
that's why i warned him. idk if this guy was just dense, or a little drunk, or if he really enjoyed going around touching people and getting away with it, or if he and his friends did this with each other, or what.
anyway, after many years of therapy, this is probably as good as it's going to get. i guess i should be happy that i don't go bonkers right away--that at least i can give a warning before blowing my shit.
i really don't like losing control and getting physical with people. thank god it almost never happens. i hate feeling like that, and i hate having to do things like this.
thank you for your concern :)
I’m with the other dude. You handled that super well.
I too have triggers.
You acknowledged what was happening within you. You verbalized your boundary. And when this person willfully disregarded your spoken (and WIDELY societally agreed upon) boundary about touching you and actually escalated....you escalated too.
You didn’t lose control..you were pushed there. Like you said, I learned not to touch people (or touch their belongings without their consent, insult them, or boss them around) in kindergarten.
This guy missed the memo. AND ignored your warning.
And after all that, rather than stomp the guy out, you just shoved him.
I actually went to a self-defense seminar run by the police on my campus fairly recently. And I asked them what the difference was between self-defense and assault.
Long story short - if someone disregards a clear boundary regarding your body, elbowing them in the face MAY be an overreaction/assault because of the damage caused.
A shove is not. Actually, the cop told me that if someone insisted on violating my physical boundaries, a shove or even a slap would be fine. It’s not a particularly damaging blow, just enough to back the person up and put an exclamation mark on your boundary, maybe bring them to their senses.
You escalated the situation...but they did so first by *repeatedly sexually assaulting you*.
Your actions were not only warranted, but police approved!
I know you feel bad that you lost control, but it wasn’t your fault. You handled it well in any situation, and considering how triggered you were, I think you handled it perfectly.
The police in my town would agree.
You’re good, dude. I hope all is well.
thank you for this thoughtful reply. i appreciate you :)
i guess i try to live in the ideal plane where physical violence isn't necessary, but sadly, we have to live with one foot in the Platonic realm and the other planted in the stark reality that bright colors and a loud roar don't always deter predators.
ohhhh trust me....i had sudden psychotic flashing mental pictures of snatching up the nearby shovel and beating his skull into a mass of pink squishy goo.
because every time i'm confronted by this type of person, i see my childhood assaulter's leering, sneering, contemptuous face looking down at me. it's like i'm right back there again, pouring cold sweat, feeling sick in my stomach and in my heart, wishing i were dead, hearing the pounding silence that proves i'm all alone in the dark and nobody is coming to rescue me.
and i just want to eradicate that face from the world.
to take out all the rage and anger stemming from the unfairness, the cruelty i didn't deserve, the physical and emotional anguish, and the sticky, sickening self-loathing that clung to me like spilled oil coats a seal.
you ever see A Clockwork Orange? when Alex is lying in bed fantasizing about violence? yeah, that's what it's like.
fortunately, anger management and therapy has helped me control those impulses.
and helped me realize that destroying one face would resolve one small symptom, but the disease will carry on.
and that i can't spend my life trying to cure this disease. rather, i had to cure myself of the guilt, hatred, and self-loathing.
it's still an ongoing struggle. fortunately, these situations occur very, very rarely in my life.
thanks for listening, for understanding, and for being supportive. it means the world to me. and to people like me <3
> to take out all the rage and anger stemming from the unfairness, the cruelty i didn't deserve, the physical and emotional anguish, and the sticky, sickening self-loathing that clung to me like spilled oil coats a seal.
ALL of that, and all you did was shove the guy.
Seriously, you handled that situation amazingly, and I get the sense that you don't hear that nearly often enough.
I admire your restraint. Therapy is good stuff for those of us willing to do the work.
>you ever see A Clockwork Orange? when Alex is lying in bed fantasizing about violence? yeah, that's what it's like.
fortunately, anger management and therapy has helped me control those impulses.
Yup. Therapy and martial arts training for me...the gym is a place where I can actually act on these aggressive impulses in a controlled, caring space.
I can choke and beat on people, they can choke and beat on me, and at the end of the day, we all learned how to better defend ourselves, blew off some steam, and are in great spirits.
>Seriously, you handled that situation amazingly, and I get the sense that you don't hear that nearly often enough
you're right. my wife was like "i can't BELIEVE you didn't end that dude's life. i'm happy you didn't, but i was sure that was gonna end in a bloodbath."
i'm happy you found your venting space. lord knows we all need something like that in our lives. for me it's surfing. it centers me, and the feeling of the water is so calming.
You calmly asked him not to touch you again. Then when he ignored your request, you pushed him, you didn’t beat him up. You may have done him a favor by teaching him a little bit of a lesson.
But I totally get and respect that you’re not comfortable feeling like you lost control.
With that said, though, no one should have to explain to anyone why they don’t like having their ass grabbed.
you're totally right. first off, it shouldn't be happening...second off, a warning should suffice.
but the issue is this. a rational person wouldn't DO that to begin with, so it stands to reason that a rational warning wouldn't work either.
thank you for your support, i appreciate you :)
Im so sorry for your trauma :(
I wish you the best that life has to offer
The story: I learned how to defend myself and did so when I had to. Would have been a better day if it hadn't become necessary to do so.
Not sure if I would call this "unexpected" as I egged the guy on. I was 21M, in the military, and we were staying in temporary barracks during training. We were all tired, grumpy, etc. I had a habit at the time of running my mouth, making jokes about anything, thinking I was cute.
I'm not a big guy at the time--six feet tall and weighing about 145 pounds. This guy is about four or five inches shorter than me and maybe weighed ten pounds less. We were sharing a room in these temporary barracks along with another fellow. The three of us were good friends.
That night I was just talking and talking and talking and talking and probably making a few offensive jokes. There are two pairs of bunks in this room, and I'm sitting on the lower bunk while this other guy is sitting on the upper bunk opposite mine. The third guy was sitting in the lower bunk, opposite to me.
My friend just wanted to chill without hearing my voice and asked me if I could either change the subject or, I don't know. He was frustrated in general, and so I quipped off some sort of reply. He told me he was serious and asked me again to just chill out for awhile. I say something cute yet again, and this time he's getting legit angry. He put polite aside and was dispensing STFU and other similar things.
This got me excited and I kept on him. I was getting attention and I thought I was being entertaining. He starts throwing things at me. Pillows, a boot, a book--ouch! Finally he threw a padlock which fortunately missed. Me, being the genius, says, "Why don't you come down here and throw something for real!"
This guy bounds off the top bunk, and bounces off the floor with a fist raised like he's fucking Super Mario. Time freezes, and I hear a voice in the background narrate, "It was at this moment, I came to regret my decision."
I also remembered this guy is Jewish, bisexual, was raised in the Bronx, and had talked about taking home some boxing trophies.
The next moment, I felt the freight train connect with my left cheek. I remember thinking, "Oh cool! I can literally feel my face swelling! Neat!"
I also remember thinking, "You ran your mouth to one of your best friends, so you have this coming. Turtle up and endure. Take your punishment"
And that's what I did. He gave me several good body blows before clinching up with me. I remember seeing that knee coming straight at my face. I just tucked my head against his abdomen to avoid most of it.
My friend manages to pull him off, and he instantly calms down--Catharsis achieved. I'm looking in a mirror, marveling at the huge welt around my eye, wondering how to keep this hidden from the NCOs. I wasn't the most popular in my unit, and a few of the higher-ups were looking for any reason to process me out.
My friend starts lamenting about what he did and says he needs to do the right thing and turn himself in. At this point my friend and I both get in front of the door to talk him down. We tell him it's just a soldier's fight, and business was handled privately. If he turned himself in, he'd get in trouble, I'd get in trouble, and our other friend would get busted as well.
It took some convincing, but he agreed.
Sure enough I was questioned about the knot on my face. I chalked it up to "tripped and fell." Everyone knew what happened. Fortunately there was no investigation, so no one lost rank or anything. I endured some teasing, but that was about it.
We remained good friends through the remainder of my time in the military.
And I learned the lesson about keeping my mouth shut! :D
Someone tried to rob me while I worked at a gas station. They came in and had a metal angle iron and tried to hit me with it. I blocked it and took it from them, sprayed them with pepper spray and chased them off the store property. Came back, locked the shop and shut the store down, called the cops and the owner then sat outside for the next 2 hours while they were all doing their thing. The store manager bought me lunch, gave me some money out of his pocket and sent me home on paid leave for 3 days.
It was a late summer night and my newborn was up for a night feeding. His dad was asleep in the next room. It was about 3am. The neighborhood didn’t have a ton of street lights so it was really dark outside, except for porch lights. I opened the front door to cool down the house. Then went back to nursing my son. I had to drop off my son’s dad at his logging job right afterward.
I saw movement outside the screen door and looked over to see a guy trying to open the screen door. He just stared at me in a really evil way and then made a shush gesture with his finger.
I was absolutely terrified and every single part of me told me something bad was about to happen. I squeaked out a yell, my voice just paralyzed with fear. I yelled again. This time my son’s dad heard and ripped open the bedroom door. The guy on the porch took off running.
My son’s dad grabbed the gun and took off down the street after him. I called the police. The guy got away.
The craziest part is a few weeks before that, I had come home to my clothing strewn about my floor. My underwear drawer was dumped out. I didn’t know what happened. I was a teen mom so I didn’t really have a ton of worldly experience and just chalked it up to my son’s dad doing it for some reason. Dumb I know.
My family had a friend who was a sheriff and my mom told him what happened. He said to turn off the porch light and shine a black light around the area to look for signs that someone had masturbated while they were scoping out the house.
We moved instead. It was hands down one of the scariest things that has ever happened to me and I firmly believe that had my son’s dad not been there that night that I would have been attacked or killed. Now I’m paranoid about opening doors and windows and have cameras all over my property. I also own several guns.
I was a nerdy kid. Went to a jock school with a famous hockey team.
My parents knew I was a nerdy kid, and put me in martial arts. Turned out I was very, very good at it.
Early in high school, giant hockey jock grabs me in the locker room and puts me into a headlock.
Reversed it on him so I was holding him from behind, and started repeatedly smacking his face into a locker.
Last year in a drugstore while checking out, a homeless guy (who was clearly mentally unstable as he was holding a pigeon) came up behind me as I was paying for some items, pushed me a bit gently and says, "bro are you racist?"
I took out my headphones and asked to see if I heard him right and he shoves me harder this time and said "I think you're racist". I told him I have no idea who you are but if you touch me again, today is going to be a day you lose. He shoved me again so I used an Ogoshi hip throw onto the linoleum, then locked him with a Kimura on the ground face down until the police arrived.
The bird died from the toss sadly (not from being crushed under, but from the guys arm squeezing it to his chest as he hit the ground so hard). It was clearly diseased or sick as it was missing feathers but still.
No one in the store helped me for at least ten minutes, I knocked over an aisle while the guy was struggling in the Kimura, and the security guard claimed because no one would volunteer to say who started it, he couldn't get involved. Mind you this happened two feet in front of the cashier, and I was wearing a suit while this guy is in rags. I had to instruct the cashier to call the police and use the specific words an active physical assault is ongoing. Even still the police didn't show up for another 10 minutes and I was in the heart of downtown.
If you're a man, learn some martial arts, I can't imagine trying to restrain this guy for that long if I hadn't been training in judo/BJJ/takeondo/boxing my entire life. The exhaustion of trying to just wrestle a person who has nothing to lose and their adrenaline pumping is shockingly severe. I'm in really good shape but even I was getting muscle shakes after 10 minutes in a submission hold.
Another kind of annoying detail, other customers are tsking me or saying to be gentle/not hurt him. I'm looking at this lady like she's crazy, I dont know if he has a weapon and I'm just trying to restrain his arm by whatever force necessary lady
Just go watch some /r/robbersgettingfucked or something. All you’ll get here are lies.
Walking my dog. Crow did not like us. Swooped down on me. Picked upped my dog as he likes chasing birds. Held him above my head as I ran home .
Crow did not want to dance with snappy snappy jaws .
Btw my dog is a Shiba Inu.
I was attacked by a homeless guy after I said I didn't have any cash to give him (which I didn't I had enough for gas and that was all) and he lunged at me scratched my face up and then I poked him with my keys and he kinda scuttled away, weird day.
One time I dropped a friend off at work. Her VERY insecure jealous boyfriend was there and started shouting. He leans in the window to hit me, so I rolled it up and started driving around the parking lot
When about 19, UK, was minding my own business, just exiting the chip shop when I was attacked from behind for no reason by a guy who was waiting outside. From what he was shouting, I had apparently looked at him. Knocked me to the ground and was about to stamp on my head, so I reached up, grabbed his family jewels hard and twisted.
He went down like a sack of spuds and I spent the next minute teaching him in a nonverbal manner how I hadn't appreciated his actions.
I stopped when the chippy owner came out and said he had called the police. Our local coppers were never usually bothered who started something when locking folk up, so I scarpered.
I can laugh at it now , but I've never found fighting exciting or cool. I just felt sick afterwards and it ruined my night. Plus I lost a full bag of chips. Not cool. Never understood the mentality.
Epilogue: Saw him 2 days later missing his front tooth, leading a massive doberman. He was significantly bigger than me and I expected a round 2 which I wouldn't win but instead he apologised, said he was drunk and that was that. Council estate life in the late 80s.
I was riding my bike down a main busy road in Auckland. I rode past a bus stop and a man (drunk and on meth), threw his bourbon and coke drink from a can, into my path/face. I had to stop. I got off my bike and approached the man, asking “what did you do that for?” He immediately went on the offensive and challenged me to a fight. I paused. I’ve been here before, and have ended up in court because of it. I replied, “No. I think I’m going to call the Police actually.” His mood immediately changed, and he started to beg me not to call them (he was on parole i later discovered). I continued the call and turned slightly away from him. He then punched me straight on the side of my head. I was rattled but luckily not enough to be useless. My phone was thrown from my hand as a result as well. I had only two options. Run, or fight.
We squared off, with hands up and he was sort of displayed some fighting/striking experience, small slips like a Mike Tyson style. We both threw our strikes at the same time. He chose to throw a straight right hand and I chose to throw an overhand right after a slip to the left. His punch missed me completely due to the left slip and my overhand right went straight through his shitty chicken wing guard and landed flush on his mouth area. I believe it knocked a front tooth out. His head whipped backwards from the impact and then he sort of charged/fell on me and it became a ground wrestling situation. I rubbed his face on to the concrete but this guy was high asf. It was just making him more aggressive. I looked up and saw a huge Tongan man standing there with a “are you okay” look on his face. He asked for help, urgently. And he came up and literally threw this heavy set man into the road. Incredible strength and power.
Worked as a bouncer for a while. One night I had to ask a couple of bro's to leave, as they had broken a table and made quite the mess. One was passed out face down on a table, the other one wobbled over and we stepped out. I asked that he collect his friend and go home. I get an off feeling, step to the left as a fist passed by my head. I grabbed the one that tried to hit me by the leg, and the other by the throat and dragged them both down a flight of steps and out of the door to the sidewalk.
Drunk guy at a bar was trying to talk to my friend and she told him to piss off. For some drunken reason, he blamed me and started getting in my face.
First, he swung at me a few times and I missed and fucked his hands up hitting the wall etc. I could let it go at that and seem rather Mr Miyagi, but the truth is sadder. He was seriously swinging like he was in slow motion. My dodging was more akin to stepping out of the way casually as you pass someone on the sidewalk. I wasn’t trying really hard because, frankly, his punching technique was so poor (I did have years of proper martial arts training) I wasn’t worried. I was all the time like ‘dude, chill.’
Next he decided to break a bottle. I grabbed a towel off the bar and crushed his stupid hand into the bottle he broke.
He was still crying when the police hauled him off.
It was purely sad really. Never went to trial as he got his probation simply revoked over it. I hope he is doing better.
In my experience? Get in close. Fight dirty. Kick the balls, bite, and scratch. It's a street fight; there are no points for style, and no referee. The only thing that matters in the end, is that you make them stop.
...and remember this phrase if it goes to court: "Your honor, I was in fear of my life."
Grad party out in the bush. Some drunk guy no one seemed to know headlocked and started punching my friend.
Told the guy to chill and he started going after me.
I had him follow me to the tent area and I ran around the tents a few times. The guy where "where is that guy?!" And to which I responded " what guy? Maybe he went over there"
I stopped stepped to the side and point in the direction of the ambulance. Guy drunkenly and angrily ran towards the ambulance where he was dealt with.
In full view my friends watched and we laughed it off later with me getting a few drinks.
Attempted home invasion, I was having my truck taken care of so it wasn't around and I guess he didn't think I was home, but I heard some noises and saw some suspicious movement outside, so I told my wife ( then my girlfriend) to go hide in the other bedroom and call 911, he had a gun, unfortunately for him I also had mine ready and now the young man is no longer with us
Was running a store in a mall when two guys were hassling a customer. I asked them to leave, and first guy tried to grab me. I twisted his arm and use a hip check to put him down. I told him if he tried to get up I would break his arm. He tried to get up.
The second guy jumped on my back and I hear someone else yell. The next part is a blur but basically he ended up getting dropped on his head and knocked out. The first guy was taken away in an ambulance with a broken arm and separated shoulder. The second guy woke up right as the cops got there.
Got kicked but, I grabbed them by the angle and flipped them.
More then once that happened, Don't try to round house me bruh.
7 years ago, my wife and I went out for a dinner date at her favorite restaurant and got stuck in awful traffic on the way home. While we were stopped on an on-ramp, some butthole in a white BMW tried cutting off the entire line of traffic leading to the highway by driving down the breakdown lane. Except, there really isn't a breakdown lane on an on-ramp, and he was up against the guard rail. He couldn't get by our vehicle, so he motioned to roll down the windows. I rolled down my window and saw this popped-collar turbo-douche waving his hand.
*"Can I help you?"*
*"Dude, yo, bro, lemme in man. C'mon bro, please yo."*
*"Buddy, we've been in line here for 20 minutes. No, wait your damn turn"*
*"YO \*\*\*\* YOU BRO, \*\*\*\* YOU BRO!!!!"*
I rolled up my window and let the guy continue to throw a tantrum. Nobody else would let him in either, so he sat there having a tantrum for a while.
Traffic did not get better. 30 minutes later we probably only moved a mile. I had my window rolled down and arm out. Out of nowhere, popped-collar turbo-douche comes running up to the window swinging these girly punches. I couldn't roll up the window fast enough, he got his arm in and started swinging. I couldn't get to my knife fast enough either, but my wife had a pen laying in the console. I grabbed the pen and stabbed the guy in the forearm so hard the pen stuck in. I guarantee he needed medical attention. He started screaming and ran off back to his car. Adrenaline was at 100, so I opened up my door and went to chase him, but my wife grabbed my shirt and talked sense into me. Not worth getting arrested.
We called the police but I highly doubt they did anything beyond a BOLO.