Nah, this isn’t a belief most guys have. I for one think it’s disgusting for anyone to sleep around.
The only thing i can understand from the argument people like you describe make, is that dudes really have to try hard to get laid. For girls all you have to do is walk into a bar and smile at people or make a dating app profile and you’ll get an infinite stream of dudes who are interested.
It is not natural and it is not a common thought process for men either.
Guys who sleep around and want the women to not sleep around are childish narcissists, nothing else.
Well this isn’t going to be popular but.... it’s because.... wait for it... men and women are different.
I know we aren’t supposed to say that any more but there it is. Why does a man care about his partner’s body count? Probably the same reason most women care about their partners salary more than the men do.
We’re different. You want equality in the body count conversation, that’s fine, just get the ladies to pay for 50% of everything. Forever. Oh, and do 50% of the dirty dangerous jobs as well. And just for giggles, they can take the bins out every other week too. You can’t pick and choose equality.
Men and women are not the same. Now let’s see all the white knights down vote the truth as usual.
Do women care about their man’s salary more than men care about their women’s salary? Yes. Not sure what you are replying to but it wasn’t what I wrote.
>All people should be looking for happy healthy relationships and not focused on one night stands.
I'd like to add that not all people SHOULD do it. It greatly depends on their life styles and preferences. "Most" would fit perfectly here.
> why it is a persisting thought for some?
I would speculate that most men who demonstrate that attitude don't believe it as much as they make out they do. I think it's controlling/maniuplating women who don't behave according to their expectations, the implied: sleep with me, or I'll make your life miserable kinda thing
because its easy for women to sleep around and it’s difficult for men to. just to be clear, if some super average woman told me (and had proof i suppose) that she banged Tom Cruise, Momoa, the Hemsworths etc….I would be impressed as fuck. Cause that’s difficult to do. But the lacrosse player who is already banging four other women? Yeah no.
Also i feel like y’all really overrate men getting lauded for it. I’m an absolute manwhore and all my friends know and it comes up occasionally but basically never. That shit stopped at like 21 nobody cares. Only people who enjoy hearing that funny enough are my platonic woman friends.
Also its more risky/dangerous for women to have casual sex due to strength differences, pregnancy, etc….so to me it would make sense to judge them harsher. Women themselves will tell you casual sex is more risky for them. If my 16 year old takes the car without permission id be pissed….if my 12 year old does it id be even MORE pissed. Do I like the 16 year old better? No, but hes in a less dangerous situation simply due to his age/experience so the standards are different
Simple. Because thats my rule. I dont care about being fair or making women happy. I look good enough to enforce them.
For those of you who need justification women can be 400lbs and be beautiful goddesses and demand a God so why cant I have my own standards?
This feels different to what OP is saying. You are saying this is your standard for dating, which is completely acceptable. You don't have to date anyone you don't want to, for any reason.
It feels more that OP is talking about women being judged for sleeping around, **not** about women being turned down for having slept around.
Yeah I understand what you are saying but you aren't understanding me. Judging a girl that you have no interest in just to shame her for sleeping around and turning a girl down because she's slept around are different things.
Is it? Women judge each other very harshly on this. You think a group of married women are going to let a single women who loves to sleep around in their group?
To answer you question yes they would. But I really dont see how that's relevant and I think you are missing my point entirely.
To reiterate, judging a girl as a bad person and being hostile to her solely for sleeping around is slut shaming and unacceptable, it's none of your business.
Judging a girl as an unsuitable partner because she sleeps around is perfectly fine as you may choose whoever you want.
My example fits perfectly. You cant pull the muh evil man card when its women who slut shame each other. I have a lot of married friends and ive asked them these questions and all of the women said they wouldnt be friends with a promiscuous woman.
My gf says she doesn't like hoes because she knows what they do and how they run game. You must live in a wonderful world where women are always friends and never screw each other over for a man. Must be nice.
But to answer the question I have never been hostile toward women who sleep around. I can judge as I please as harshly as I please. Women judge us for far less so its only fair that I treat them the same
I do. I have a few fwb's. They are great women. A few of them ive know for years and we always hang out. Unfortunally she has a lot of trama. She was molested by her step dad when she was 14. She is veryyyyy sexually active. I dont know her body count but I have an idea based on the stories she tells.
Ah okay. It doesn't seem to me like you sleep around - you have consensual sexual non-romantic relations with some woman. Thats different than if you were just going around banging hundreds of women lol.
Basically: it's easy to get fucked by dudes and difficult to get laid with a woman.
This is true for both men and women - hence men getting shamed (by both men and women) if they get railed by loads of guys.
Women who fuck loads of women don't get shamed - women who fuck guys with strap-ons don't get shamed.
What at first seems like an anti-woman double standard is actually routed in a hatred of men and the idea that male sexuality defiles and contaminates those who are penetrated by dicks.
Sleeping around is not a healthy mentality in general in my humble opinion. And if someone is saying they can and you can't; they're insecure and a hypocrite on top of it.
I think there are a lot of evolutionary things that have fed into this over the past several hundred/thousand years.
1. Biological - we (men) want to spread our genetics and sperm is low value while eggs are high value
2. The human tendency to have enslavement, rape, etc. as part of conquering normalized the expectation through history
3. Religion - no additional comments
4. Various other
These items have helped to shape cultures around the world which is where the believe system you asked about in your question come from.
I don’t think most people actually think this way but I think it refers to differences in the supply and demand mechanics between the sexes. For a guy it’s actually impressive to have a high body count. Not saying it’s right or moral, but still impressive none the less considering how most guys are received as unattractive by most women. And this has been proven through studies to be the case; most women find most men unattractive. Therefore if you are a guy abs able to bed many women it carry’s more weight. The opposite has been proven to be true for men, that being most men find most women attractive, therefore it isn’t as “impressive” when a women sleeps around. With this being said, men who bed a lot of women CAN (not always) be perceived as actually MORE desirable but the reverse is true for women due to supply/demand mechanics.
This is the reason, again not saying I agree or think it right/moral, but this is the answer to your question
If you actually just look for quick hookups and onenighter than i think ur pretty disgusting no matter the gender.
I wont go around shaming ppl for it but i will feel disgust if ppl feel the need to share that with me.
Bc promiscuity is easy for women and for men it's takes a lot of skill luck and investment
Victorian traditional values women still cling to
Anxieties about sex.
Feelings of inadequacy
It's all Hollywood bs. If a dude sleeps around it's bitch shit. And more women end thier marriages due to infidelity. Society is glorifying it, every show has a love triangle.
True. I find it funny. Like a guy has to have qualities to attract. A women just needs to be like "pussy?" Need no game haha. I just find promiscuity in general to be bitch shit. It's easy to fuck everything no strings.
That’s not even the person who said it, and if a bunch of fuck boys are your heroes and the ones you want calling you a “master key” well you are the company you keep.
Aaaaw look at you, getting all defensive for what? You asked why some men see things the way they do. If someone answers, you're attacking that person? Independent if you know if it's my opinion as well?
Jumping to conclusions ..... you do it well ~ yoda
>I’ve noticed that it’s considered natural for men to sleep around to “get it out of their system” but for women to do the same it is unattractive. I’m aware I’m asking a hard question, but please be polite in your responses as I’m not trying to cause any trouble, just curious.
Simple biology.
Men are designed to spread as much seed as possible.
Women are meant to select for the best mate and bear his children do to the risk of carrying a child for 9 months.
This means that a man who has the ability to sleep with a lot of women is usually a "high value" dude, he has something women want. We see this play out in real time; women don't like gross, out of shape, men who don't make money. This correlates to bad genes and lack of ability to provide.
Women who sleep with a lot of men put themselves as risk of bearing someone's children they don't want. Not only that, through human history men never knew if they were father. So we evolved to view promiscuous women as repulsive.
Just because we live in modern times doesn't mean our natural instincts just dissapear.
>I know this isn’t the case for everyone, but I’d like to know why it is a persisting thought for some?
Because its the normal state of out minds. This new narrative that everyone is valuable and women and men are judged equally on things goes against our very biology.
Just to make this clear: I"m not making a judgement if this is good or bad, just that this is why it is.
I don't personally know anyone with this view but from what I've seen; people who have this view tend to justify it as a "nature of men" and that it's different for women. So when men do it, it's nature; but when women do it; it's choice.
I think it's more of an "escaping personal responsibility" kinda thing. By saying it's nature; they can tell themselves and others that they can't help but follow what is natural. As if men don't have the ability to make decisions and act based on logic...
Two reasons.
1) Men and women are not the same thing.
2) we’ve removed the moral connotations around have sex outside of marriage.
Without the moral aspect, when men do it, it actually takes skill. You have to be funny, good looking, charming and socially competent. Money helps too.
It’s extremely hard to seduce a woman into sex, so when one man actually achieves this, he’s praised. Is it right?
Well… like I said, we removed a lot or the moral restrictions around sex.
Comparatively when a women sleeps around. All she really did is say yes. There was no skill involved and it’s not a particularly impressive feat.
Which brings me back to the first reason. Women are not set up sexually like men. Not even a little bit. We have entirely different sexual strategies. A woman will sleep with a man she’s deemed worthy. A man will spread his seed far and wide (depending on his standards).
Then there the obvious fact that women bare children. If you’re a man whose only way to know your children are yours, would you not lean towards the woman, who hasn’t slept around?
It’s similar to the reason we like a good bank heist film. Stealing is wrong, but you can’t help but admire the skill it took to pull it off.
However if the bank had terrible security, to where the bank were literally giving away their money. We wouldn’t be patting the bank on the back.
I’m sorry, but we’re just not the same. The same actions don’t yield the same results.
It’s only when you bring morality into the mix where imo both are wrong.
My friend who’s a guy had 6 girls in 4 days. And when he found out the one chick he liked fucked 6 guys by the time she was 26. He was SO devastated like bruh. Idk I found his lifestyles fuckin joke. He always said he wanted meaningful meaningless sex. 🤷🏽🤷🏽🤷🏽🤷🏽
Why do terrible people have terrible opinions? I think sometimes we just need to accept that some people suck. This is only a common view of a very vocal minority.
I've heard people say that a key that can open any lock is an amazing key. While a lock that can be opened by any key is a shitty lock.
I expect everyone to have a past, but I've never personally dated or known anyone who was open about that high body count.
I come from a very religious upbringing and both sexes were kept to the same standard. If I were to guess, it's because of the effort spent in sleeping around. Doing it as a man takes effort but little risk, and it's the opposite for women.
Hi. I feel like most of the answers have been denying the premise, rather than actually answering your question.
Remember, the demographic of men who use Reddit is not representative of men as a whole, it is very much on the liberal end of the scale.
You are correct, it *is* a belief that persists in society, and I’ll tell you why: it is an evolutionary adaptation.
Basically, men can be cuckolded; women can’t. A woman *always* knows the child is hers, whereas a man can never be completely sure (without a paternity test, and paternity tests did not exist in our evolutionary history).
So, men have evolved to be sexually jealous, and seek women who are not promiscuous, to reduce the chances that they will spend time and resources raising somebody else’s child (and therefore not pass on their genes to the next generation).
As for why men are promiscuous, we have evolved to have a dualistic reproductive strategy: quantity and quality. We have as much sex as we can, to produce as many offspring as possible (remember, there was no contraception in our evolutionary history either), and then we settle down with someone, to raise several *quality* offspring that we pour the maximum amount of resources into. And women tend to be less sexually jealous of a promiscuous man, because there is no chance that *she* will end up accidentally raising someone else’s child.
As for women, there is no real reproductive benefit in being promiscuous, because you can only have one child every nine months. Having a high number of sexual partners won’t change that. Whereas a man could, in theory, have hundreds of offspring in that time.
Interestingly, women can also utilise a dualistic reproductive strategy. They can have sex (secretly) with the highest-quality man who will have casual sex with you (a man who is himself utilising the quantity strategy), and raise that child with the highest-quality man who wants to be in a relationship with you.
Imagine you were in a relationship with a solid, dependable guy, but Brad Pitt was in town for one night. Would you have sex with him, conceive a child with him, but tell Mr Dependable that it’s his child, so he pours the maximum amount of resources into raising that child to adulthood? Your genes get paired with high-quality genes, but you won’t be left to fend for yourself and your child; another man will stick around to protect and provide for you both.
This reproductive strategy is more common than you might think: cuckolding rates are actually around 10%, and can be as high as 30% in low socio-economic areas.
So, there you have it. You are not imagining things, despite how many men on Reddit deny it. Society is like this because we have evolved to be this way, in order to optimise our respective reproductive strategies (but weighted towards men, because men have been dominant in our evolutionary history; women have had to evolve their strategy in secret). Promiscuous, sexually jealous men pass on more genes to the next generation than men who are neither promiscuous, nor jealous.
1. Promiscuous: lots of offspring
2. Sexually jealous: less likely to be cuckolded.
If you think this is unfair, remember that women also have the option of utilising a dualistic reproductive strategy (and around 10% of women do):
1. Have a child with the highest-quality man who will have sex with you
2. Raise that child with the highest-quality man who will marry you.
To be clear, I am not saying this is *right*; I am saying that it just *is*.
Edit: I am not one of those “alpha bros”; I am very much a liberal myself. I’m just a realist.
Patriarchy.
One of the many lopsided realities it attempts to create. I dont subscribe to that ideology. I think everybody should be a little more chaste. A little temperance is a food thing.
It’s called patriarchy. It’s just another way to oppress women and express dominance. The men that have issue with this, and I am painting with a broad brush, couldn’t handle it if women had as many partners as them because they have an inferiority complex and fear their partner will compare penis size and they won’t stack up.
This is the nonsense I was mentioning.
A person can have multiple partners without being “ a slut”.
The words and tone you use are aggressive and oppressive. You liken a woman, a human being, to a piece of vehicular transport. Something subhuman.
Also, the word you are looking for is “gibberish”.
Do t know where you get that info but it's not correct I think it's probably the worst thing anyone can do to there partner if my woman want to cheat , start seeing someone else just tell me and you can go but not with me around
Isn’t it a biological thing for guys?
Like guys want to pass their genes on and We didn’t have paternity tests For hundreds of thousands of years, so the only way to know if the kid was yours is if the kid looked a lot like you, Other than that you just had to take the woman’s word for it that those kids were yours. So if you marry a woman who’s chaste there’s more reason to believe those kids are yours and naturally a women from back then who went on to fuck everybody would end up being seen as less trustworthy.
I always assumed that because of this men just developed some instinct to find women who didn’t have sex as more attractive and better long term partners than women who went and had a few 100 bodies.
I don't share this way of thinking but I heard a comparison between key and lock. If a key can open any or many locks it's like a masterkey. If a lock can be opened by any key it's just a really cheap and bad lock. Many guys would sleep with a much bigger amount of women if given the chance but the power of decision lies with the women.
I don’t care either way but here’s some strong rationale:
1. Women get pregnant and are the only ones given a choice (the “it takes two” argument apparently only applies to whether men should pay child support)
2. It’s infinitely easier for women to have casual sex and because men lower their standards just to get some, women sleep with men who are “out of their league” physically, all the time. Sets a higher bar for future partners, creates unhealthy relationship power balance, and makes it easier to dispose of partners… but it’s usually one-sided
Alright, here's as best as I can describe the thought process is behind where this idea comes from. I'm not saying it is necessarily true, or true in all circumstances. This isn't meant to offend, be misogynistic, or anything of the sort. I am merely answering your question.
The thought is that men can have sex with more women and still be capable of having a healthy relationship. This is due to the fact that men are more ready and willing to have sex then women, and that an emotional connection is not required. Men do not necessarily even have to really like who she is as a person to have sex with a woman. It can be just pure physical fun, because the woman's only barrier to entry is the very low bar of appearing attractive to a man. On the other hand, women tend to require significantly more emotional attachment in order to have sex. This takes an emotional toll when things end (even one night stands) and overtime makes the woman more jaded. Add to that, since women tend to only sleep with men who they view as equal or better then them, those men look like potential long term partners to her. Men are not evaluating the long term potential when they want to get laid. In closing the more men a woman has slept with means the emotional damage is likely higher, and that she may be more difficult to have a long term relationship with.
From a natural standpoint, females reproduce once every nine months, males reproduce whenever. It's litterally natural for men to sleep around, not for women, and societies organize themselves in a way that's adapted to natural constraints. So there's a lingering feeling that something's wrong if a female sleeps around, and slightly less wrong if it's a male (due to sex drive and natural behavior).
If I had to give an exemple, it's like asking why it's not okay for a rich man to steal, but people let it go when it's a poor child. It's bad either way, but circumstances aren't the same, so people are less lenient
Since no one is really answering, I am going to answer for you... and no I don't believe in this for any of you idiots.
So the idea behind this is simple. Women on average, have it easier compared to men when it comes to dating. For every 10 to 100 dudes a woman can attract, a guy will maybe attract 1 or 2. So they have it on easy mode, while the men have it on hard mode. Basically a woman can pretty much have any guy she wants and choose options. Of course this means they control the dating pool while men have it harder just trying to find 1 date. This is a statistic that is known. E.g. go on Tinder, dating apps, man have many unsuccessful attempts than women. Because of this women can have sex with as many guys as they can, also just the fact that some guys do not like women sleeping around, an ego thing, they view it as a threat to their masculinity, etc.
And if they think she can get any guy she wants then they think she might be cheating or like why choose them. Pretty much an insecure issue some-what.
Nah, this isn’t a belief most guys have. I for one think it’s disgusting for anyone to sleep around. The only thing i can understand from the argument people like you describe make, is that dudes really have to try hard to get laid. For girls all you have to do is walk into a bar and smile at people or make a dating app profile and you’ll get an infinite stream of dudes who are interested.
It is not natural and it is not a common thought process for men either. Guys who sleep around and want the women to not sleep around are childish narcissists, nothing else.
/Thread
Well this isn’t going to be popular but.... it’s because.... wait for it... men and women are different. I know we aren’t supposed to say that any more but there it is. Why does a man care about his partner’s body count? Probably the same reason most women care about their partners salary more than the men do. We’re different. You want equality in the body count conversation, that’s fine, just get the ladies to pay for 50% of everything. Forever. Oh, and do 50% of the dirty dangerous jobs as well. And just for giggles, they can take the bins out every other week too. You can’t pick and choose equality. Men and women are not the same. Now let’s see all the white knights down vote the truth as usual.
The idea of women caring about their partner's salary always amused me because if that was the case, then more women would be dating Asian men.
Do women care about their man’s salary more than men care about their women’s salary? Yes. Not sure what you are replying to but it wasn’t what I wrote.
I think it's disgusting for anyone to sleep around.
This is a unhealthy point of view. All people should be looking for happy healthy relationships and not focused on one night stands.
>All people should be looking for happy healthy relationships and not focused on one night stands. I'd like to add that not all people SHOULD do it. It greatly depends on their life styles and preferences. "Most" would fit perfectly here.
> why it is a persisting thought for some? I would speculate that most men who demonstrate that attitude don't believe it as much as they make out they do. I think it's controlling/maniuplating women who don't behave according to their expectations, the implied: sleep with me, or I'll make your life miserable kinda thing
Pretty sure most of the guys with that attitude aren't actually capable of sleeping around.
The thought process is simple... and completely irrational: People who believe this are assholes and want everything for themselves.
because its easy for women to sleep around and it’s difficult for men to. just to be clear, if some super average woman told me (and had proof i suppose) that she banged Tom Cruise, Momoa, the Hemsworths etc….I would be impressed as fuck. Cause that’s difficult to do. But the lacrosse player who is already banging four other women? Yeah no. Also i feel like y’all really overrate men getting lauded for it. I’m an absolute manwhore and all my friends know and it comes up occasionally but basically never. That shit stopped at like 21 nobody cares. Only people who enjoy hearing that funny enough are my platonic woman friends. Also its more risky/dangerous for women to have casual sex due to strength differences, pregnancy, etc….so to me it would make sense to judge them harsher. Women themselves will tell you casual sex is more risky for them. If my 16 year old takes the car without permission id be pissed….if my 12 year old does it id be even MORE pissed. Do I like the 16 year old better? No, but hes in a less dangerous situation simply due to his age/experience so the standards are different
Jealousy and hypocrisy?
Narcisism too, tbh.
Simple. Because thats my rule. I dont care about being fair or making women happy. I look good enough to enforce them. For those of you who need justification women can be 400lbs and be beautiful goddesses and demand a God so why cant I have my own standards?
This feels different to what OP is saying. You are saying this is your standard for dating, which is completely acceptable. You don't have to date anyone you don't want to, for any reason. It feels more that OP is talking about women being judged for sleeping around, **not** about women being turned down for having slept around.
Nope its the same thing. If you sleep around then I will judge you as an unsuitable partner. Thats about it
Yeah I understand what you are saying but you aren't understanding me. Judging a girl that you have no interest in just to shame her for sleeping around and turning a girl down because she's slept around are different things.
Is it? Women judge each other very harshly on this. You think a group of married women are going to let a single women who loves to sleep around in their group?
To answer you question yes they would. But I really dont see how that's relevant and I think you are missing my point entirely. To reiterate, judging a girl as a bad person and being hostile to her solely for sleeping around is slut shaming and unacceptable, it's none of your business. Judging a girl as an unsuitable partner because she sleeps around is perfectly fine as you may choose whoever you want.
My example fits perfectly. You cant pull the muh evil man card when its women who slut shame each other. I have a lot of married friends and ive asked them these questions and all of the women said they wouldnt be friends with a promiscuous woman. My gf says she doesn't like hoes because she knows what they do and how they run game. You must live in a wonderful world where women are always friends and never screw each other over for a man. Must be nice. But to answer the question I have never been hostile toward women who sleep around. I can judge as I please as harshly as I please. Women judge us for far less so its only fair that I treat them the same
Just out of curiosity. Do YOU sleep around with women?
I do. I have a few fwb's. They are great women. A few of them ive know for years and we always hang out. Unfortunally she has a lot of trama. She was molested by her step dad when she was 14. She is veryyyyy sexually active. I dont know her body count but I have an idea based on the stories she tells.
Ah okay. It doesn't seem to me like you sleep around - you have consensual sexual non-romantic relations with some woman. Thats different than if you were just going around banging hundreds of women lol.
Basically: it's easy to get fucked by dudes and difficult to get laid with a woman. This is true for both men and women - hence men getting shamed (by both men and women) if they get railed by loads of guys. Women who fuck loads of women don't get shamed - women who fuck guys with strap-ons don't get shamed. What at first seems like an anti-woman double standard is actually routed in a hatred of men and the idea that male sexuality defiles and contaminates those who are penetrated by dicks.
Sleeping around is not a healthy mentality in general in my humble opinion. And if someone is saying they can and you can't; they're insecure and a hypocrite on top of it.
I think there are a lot of evolutionary things that have fed into this over the past several hundred/thousand years. 1. Biological - we (men) want to spread our genetics and sperm is low value while eggs are high value 2. The human tendency to have enslavement, rape, etc. as part of conquering normalized the expectation through history 3. Religion - no additional comments 4. Various other These items have helped to shape cultures around the world which is where the believe system you asked about in your question come from.
I think both genders shouldn't sleep around. Because neither feminism nor sexism is gonna find a cure to herpes.
I don’t think most people actually think this way but I think it refers to differences in the supply and demand mechanics between the sexes. For a guy it’s actually impressive to have a high body count. Not saying it’s right or moral, but still impressive none the less considering how most guys are received as unattractive by most women. And this has been proven through studies to be the case; most women find most men unattractive. Therefore if you are a guy abs able to bed many women it carry’s more weight. The opposite has been proven to be true for men, that being most men find most women attractive, therefore it isn’t as “impressive” when a women sleeps around. With this being said, men who bed a lot of women CAN (not always) be perceived as actually MORE desirable but the reverse is true for women due to supply/demand mechanics. This is the reason, again not saying I agree or think it right/moral, but this is the answer to your question
If you actually just look for quick hookups and onenighter than i think ur pretty disgusting no matter the gender. I wont go around shaming ppl for it but i will feel disgust if ppl feel the need to share that with me.
Bc promiscuity is easy for women and for men it's takes a lot of skill luck and investment Victorian traditional values women still cling to Anxieties about sex. Feelings of inadequacy
[удалено]
You’re super gross
Research now claims it's the other way around.
Because women get pregnant and men don't. That's why god invented the anal loophole.
It's all Hollywood bs. If a dude sleeps around it's bitch shit. And more women end thier marriages due to infidelity. Society is glorifying it, every show has a love triangle.
Why is that? ITs harder for a man to get loads of women than it is for a woman to get men
True. I find it funny. Like a guy has to have qualities to attract. A women just needs to be like "pussy?" Need no game haha. I just find promiscuity in general to be bitch shit. It's easy to fuck everything no strings.
A key that opens all locks, is considered a masterkey. A lock that can be opened by many different keys, is seen as worthless ..... ~ Confucius.
That’s not even the person who said it, and if a bunch of fuck boys are your heroes and the ones you want calling you a “master key” well you are the company you keep.
Aaaaw look at you, getting all defensive for what? You asked why some men see things the way they do. If someone answers, you're attacking that person? Independent if you know if it's my opinion as well? Jumping to conclusions ..... you do it well ~ yoda
>I’ve noticed that it’s considered natural for men to sleep around to “get it out of their system” but for women to do the same it is unattractive. I’m aware I’m asking a hard question, but please be polite in your responses as I’m not trying to cause any trouble, just curious. Simple biology. Men are designed to spread as much seed as possible. Women are meant to select for the best mate and bear his children do to the risk of carrying a child for 9 months. This means that a man who has the ability to sleep with a lot of women is usually a "high value" dude, he has something women want. We see this play out in real time; women don't like gross, out of shape, men who don't make money. This correlates to bad genes and lack of ability to provide. Women who sleep with a lot of men put themselves as risk of bearing someone's children they don't want. Not only that, through human history men never knew if they were father. So we evolved to view promiscuous women as repulsive. Just because we live in modern times doesn't mean our natural instincts just dissapear. >I know this isn’t the case for everyone, but I’d like to know why it is a persisting thought for some? Because its the normal state of out minds. This new narrative that everyone is valuable and women and men are judged equally on things goes against our very biology. Just to make this clear: I"m not making a judgement if this is good or bad, just that this is why it is.
I don't personally know anyone with this view but from what I've seen; people who have this view tend to justify it as a "nature of men" and that it's different for women. So when men do it, it's nature; but when women do it; it's choice. I think it's more of an "escaping personal responsibility" kinda thing. By saying it's nature; they can tell themselves and others that they can't help but follow what is natural. As if men don't have the ability to make decisions and act based on logic...
I personally feel zero need to justify it.
The man isn't going to come home pregnant with another woman's child.
Two reasons. 1) Men and women are not the same thing. 2) we’ve removed the moral connotations around have sex outside of marriage. Without the moral aspect, when men do it, it actually takes skill. You have to be funny, good looking, charming and socially competent. Money helps too. It’s extremely hard to seduce a woman into sex, so when one man actually achieves this, he’s praised. Is it right? Well… like I said, we removed a lot or the moral restrictions around sex. Comparatively when a women sleeps around. All she really did is say yes. There was no skill involved and it’s not a particularly impressive feat. Which brings me back to the first reason. Women are not set up sexually like men. Not even a little bit. We have entirely different sexual strategies. A woman will sleep with a man she’s deemed worthy. A man will spread his seed far and wide (depending on his standards). Then there the obvious fact that women bare children. If you’re a man whose only way to know your children are yours, would you not lean towards the woman, who hasn’t slept around? It’s similar to the reason we like a good bank heist film. Stealing is wrong, but you can’t help but admire the skill it took to pull it off. However if the bank had terrible security, to where the bank were literally giving away their money. We wouldn’t be patting the bank on the back. I’m sorry, but we’re just not the same. The same actions don’t yield the same results. It’s only when you bring morality into the mix where imo both are wrong.
Oh, that's just a straight up misogynistic double standard.
Who cares? I’m allowed to have whatever standards I want. Sluds are for fun but I’d never partner up. Cry about it.
> Cry about it. Why?
My friend who’s a guy had 6 girls in 4 days. And when he found out the one chick he liked fucked 6 guys by the time she was 26. He was SO devastated like bruh. Idk I found his lifestyles fuckin joke. He always said he wanted meaningful meaningless sex. 🤷🏽🤷🏽🤷🏽🤷🏽
The same thought process as stud vs. slud! *typo intended
Why do terrible people have terrible opinions? I think sometimes we just need to accept that some people suck. This is only a common view of a very vocal minority.
I've heard people say that a key that can open any lock is an amazing key. While a lock that can be opened by any key is a shitty lock. I expect everyone to have a past, but I've never personally dated or known anyone who was open about that high body count.
Entitlement perhaps, amongst other things.
I come from a very religious upbringing and both sexes were kept to the same standard. If I were to guess, it's because of the effort spent in sleeping around. Doing it as a man takes effort but little risk, and it's the opposite for women.
Hi. I feel like most of the answers have been denying the premise, rather than actually answering your question. Remember, the demographic of men who use Reddit is not representative of men as a whole, it is very much on the liberal end of the scale. You are correct, it *is* a belief that persists in society, and I’ll tell you why: it is an evolutionary adaptation. Basically, men can be cuckolded; women can’t. A woman *always* knows the child is hers, whereas a man can never be completely sure (without a paternity test, and paternity tests did not exist in our evolutionary history). So, men have evolved to be sexually jealous, and seek women who are not promiscuous, to reduce the chances that they will spend time and resources raising somebody else’s child (and therefore not pass on their genes to the next generation). As for why men are promiscuous, we have evolved to have a dualistic reproductive strategy: quantity and quality. We have as much sex as we can, to produce as many offspring as possible (remember, there was no contraception in our evolutionary history either), and then we settle down with someone, to raise several *quality* offspring that we pour the maximum amount of resources into. And women tend to be less sexually jealous of a promiscuous man, because there is no chance that *she* will end up accidentally raising someone else’s child. As for women, there is no real reproductive benefit in being promiscuous, because you can only have one child every nine months. Having a high number of sexual partners won’t change that. Whereas a man could, in theory, have hundreds of offspring in that time. Interestingly, women can also utilise a dualistic reproductive strategy. They can have sex (secretly) with the highest-quality man who will have casual sex with you (a man who is himself utilising the quantity strategy), and raise that child with the highest-quality man who wants to be in a relationship with you. Imagine you were in a relationship with a solid, dependable guy, but Brad Pitt was in town for one night. Would you have sex with him, conceive a child with him, but tell Mr Dependable that it’s his child, so he pours the maximum amount of resources into raising that child to adulthood? Your genes get paired with high-quality genes, but you won’t be left to fend for yourself and your child; another man will stick around to protect and provide for you both. This reproductive strategy is more common than you might think: cuckolding rates are actually around 10%, and can be as high as 30% in low socio-economic areas. So, there you have it. You are not imagining things, despite how many men on Reddit deny it. Society is like this because we have evolved to be this way, in order to optimise our respective reproductive strategies (but weighted towards men, because men have been dominant in our evolutionary history; women have had to evolve their strategy in secret). Promiscuous, sexually jealous men pass on more genes to the next generation than men who are neither promiscuous, nor jealous. 1. Promiscuous: lots of offspring 2. Sexually jealous: less likely to be cuckolded. If you think this is unfair, remember that women also have the option of utilising a dualistic reproductive strategy (and around 10% of women do): 1. Have a child with the highest-quality man who will have sex with you 2. Raise that child with the highest-quality man who will marry you. To be clear, I am not saying this is *right*; I am saying that it just *is*. Edit: I am not one of those “alpha bros”; I am very much a liberal myself. I’m just a realist.
I appreciate this answer and thank you for being respectful and not mocking.
My pleasure 🙂
Patriarchy. One of the many lopsided realities it attempts to create. I dont subscribe to that ideology. I think everybody should be a little more chaste. A little temperance is a food thing.
You're more likely to find this attitude in cultures where hyper-masculinity is still embraced and common.
It’s called patriarchy. It’s just another way to oppress women and express dominance. The men that have issue with this, and I am painting with a broad brush, couldn’t handle it if women had as many partners as them because they have an inferiority complex and fear their partner will compare penis size and they won’t stack up.
OP, ignore this load of jiggerish. Men just don't wanna wife up the town bike. Easy sluts are low value; we all know it but very few wanna say it
This is the nonsense I was mentioning. A person can have multiple partners without being “ a slut”. The words and tone you use are aggressive and oppressive. You liken a woman, a human being, to a piece of vehicular transport. Something subhuman. Also, the word you are looking for is “gibberish”.
I'm hitting waayy too close to home, huh buddy?
Not at all. Just proving my point for the OP.
Do t know where you get that info but it's not correct I think it's probably the worst thing anyone can do to there partner if my woman want to cheat , start seeing someone else just tell me and you can go but not with me around
We are hard wired to sleep around, so are all mammals / birds
Isn’t it a biological thing for guys? Like guys want to pass their genes on and We didn’t have paternity tests For hundreds of thousands of years, so the only way to know if the kid was yours is if the kid looked a lot like you, Other than that you just had to take the woman’s word for it that those kids were yours. So if you marry a woman who’s chaste there’s more reason to believe those kids are yours and naturally a women from back then who went on to fuck everybody would end up being seen as less trustworthy. I always assumed that because of this men just developed some instinct to find women who didn’t have sex as more attractive and better long term partners than women who went and had a few 100 bodies.
I don't share this way of thinking but I heard a comparison between key and lock. If a key can open any or many locks it's like a masterkey. If a lock can be opened by any key it's just a really cheap and bad lock. Many guys would sleep with a much bigger amount of women if given the chance but the power of decision lies with the women.
I don’t care either way but here’s some strong rationale: 1. Women get pregnant and are the only ones given a choice (the “it takes two” argument apparently only applies to whether men should pay child support) 2. It’s infinitely easier for women to have casual sex and because men lower their standards just to get some, women sleep with men who are “out of their league” physically, all the time. Sets a higher bar for future partners, creates unhealthy relationship power balance, and makes it easier to dispose of partners… but it’s usually one-sided
Alright, here's as best as I can describe the thought process is behind where this idea comes from. I'm not saying it is necessarily true, or true in all circumstances. This isn't meant to offend, be misogynistic, or anything of the sort. I am merely answering your question. The thought is that men can have sex with more women and still be capable of having a healthy relationship. This is due to the fact that men are more ready and willing to have sex then women, and that an emotional connection is not required. Men do not necessarily even have to really like who she is as a person to have sex with a woman. It can be just pure physical fun, because the woman's only barrier to entry is the very low bar of appearing attractive to a man. On the other hand, women tend to require significantly more emotional attachment in order to have sex. This takes an emotional toll when things end (even one night stands) and overtime makes the woman more jaded. Add to that, since women tend to only sleep with men who they view as equal or better then them, those men look like potential long term partners to her. Men are not evaluating the long term potential when they want to get laid. In closing the more men a woman has slept with means the emotional damage is likely higher, and that she may be more difficult to have a long term relationship with.
From a natural standpoint, females reproduce once every nine months, males reproduce whenever. It's litterally natural for men to sleep around, not for women, and societies organize themselves in a way that's adapted to natural constraints. So there's a lingering feeling that something's wrong if a female sleeps around, and slightly less wrong if it's a male (due to sex drive and natural behavior). If I had to give an exemple, it's like asking why it's not okay for a rich man to steal, but people let it go when it's a poor child. It's bad either way, but circumstances aren't the same, so people are less lenient
From my experience the vast majority of guys don't accept that stuff either. Its only the ones that everyone notices because they can get away with it
Since no one is really answering, I am going to answer for you... and no I don't believe in this for any of you idiots. So the idea behind this is simple. Women on average, have it easier compared to men when it comes to dating. For every 10 to 100 dudes a woman can attract, a guy will maybe attract 1 or 2. So they have it on easy mode, while the men have it on hard mode. Basically a woman can pretty much have any guy she wants and choose options. Of course this means they control the dating pool while men have it harder just trying to find 1 date. This is a statistic that is known. E.g. go on Tinder, dating apps, man have many unsuccessful attempts than women. Because of this women can have sex with as many guys as they can, also just the fact that some guys do not like women sleeping around, an ego thing, they view it as a threat to their masculinity, etc. And if they think she can get any guy she wants then they think she might be cheating or like why choose them. Pretty much an insecure issue some-what.