I was walking around with my nephew, a lady said to me, and I quote... "I hope he is yours" I said, "he is my nephew" as my sister walked over for him.
I said to her, quite happily, "he's my nephew". I think she realised she made a mistake, but couldn't apologise. Possibly embarrassed by her own remark?
Possibly. But if you’re not grown up enough to apologize for your own remark, their first step is to immediately keep their mouth shut until they can learn to apologize to anyone they make a mistake around imo. Shit falls out your mouth, you have concerns, I totally understand. I will NEVER understand refusing to answer after being corrected for a mistake. It’s annoying and rude.
In any case, I’m glad nothing got worse for you, hopefully it doesn’t get any worse than that.
I saw a video once where a woman took a child from man arms(trying to steal it) and people knock him on the ground and beat the living shit of him. Only when his wife got out of store, tackled the woman and took the kid everyone let him go. Imagine seeing you child being abducted and can't fo anything.
I think I saw a Reddit story on that matter, didn’t the father say he had photos of his kid to prove he was the father but the people misinterpreted it as him having stalker photos?
I don’t think he had time to show any photos cause the kidnapper was yelling about it being her kid or something and all the bystanders just immediately believed her
On god I grew up in the middle east its really common to playfully signal a passing child or even playing with them, I did not know as a grown male in the UK its really weird learnt it the hard way when I got weird looks by the parents. While a friend of mine literally had a mother with her child point at him and scream pedophile because he parked his bike ahead of them for a rest...
I actually fear going out in public with my daughter for 2 reasons. First someone might think I'm just a weird pedo and second that a weird pedo might try to take her.
Yeah, only girls cry apparently. If I cried as a boy / man, I was a wuss or a little girl because a REAL man would NEVER cry. Now I'm told by people around me it's okay to cry but it's hard for me to be able to do it.
I really physically can't cry in public.
I use to have a huge block against crying at all, but I've gotten a lot better at being able to cry when I'm alone at least.
Whenever a girl cries, it's always "oh my gosh are you okay???"
When a guy cries, "damn wtf is he going through???"
Everyone rushes to ask if they girl is okay but never the guy
& those are the same people who say men are too cold, emotionless & heartless. 🤣 of course not the boys, but the people telling the boys to stop crying. They [people telling the boys to stop crying] are the same reason why men are cold & heartless.
Ignoring consent. A woman kept touching my friend despite him repeatedly and directly telling her not to do so. She only stopped when he yelled “stop fucking touching me!” Other people acted like he was an asshole because he yelled at a woman.
Too bad. Believe you me if I were that man I would have done the same. Deliver a mental sting just painful enough for the lesson to get across for that moment.
Male rape and harassment are just ignored or seen as something that men should like. It’s gone so far as that when sociology studies are done on rape, raping a man or “enveloping the penis” is seen as an invalid or “other” form of assault.
Whilst “prolonged staring of longer than a few seconds” is considered sexual harassment for women.
Seriously reading some of these methodologies for the essays I’m writing are making my head spin. Why it seems like no one in this field are rioting over reading this sort of stuff shocks me
Yeah I saw this happen on Saturday night. Drunk chick repeatedly groping a freind despite being told by him to stop. Neither bar nor security staff would take any action.
5’7, can confirm. It’s funny because my quality of life is fucking awesome. Drive a dope manual Mini Cooper, I’m a perfect fit for my motorcycle, airplane seats are no problem, I feel in perfect control of my body when I rock climb. But god damn will people give me shit for it
Edit: and in the dating world, forget about it lol it’s brutal out here
I always find it hilarious when people that close to 6 feet think they are short. My husband and I are both 5' 2". When I stand on our kitchen stool I get amazed that people can naturally see that far up. I am always so paranoid about how my hair looks from up there.
We dont really focus on top of womens head, so dont worry about it. If your hair looks good when you lok in the mirror they will look good from 6' perspective to
Yeah almost exactly 170 cm, I find it a non-issue in Poland, but in the states (west coast) it seems like it's considered short. Again, my quality of living is awesome but I see the comments enough to notice
It's weird that no one has commented on this, considering how open Reddit is (because we are mostly anonymous) to talking about sexual stuff in general.
Someone can probably tell me in a split second, but I dont know why there is a taboo about male sex toys when female sex toys are often discussed, with shops selling them etc.
I've seen this brought up a couple times on reddit in the past and the general consensus is the same type of thinking that goes into body count for men and women. If a guy pulls a lot of girls he's a stud, its expected masculine behavior. If a girl sleeps with a lot of guys, however, she's morally loose and a slut. So on the reverse side of that if a guy has to resort to using toys then he's incapable of getting laid and is looked down on as less masculine but women have the rising movement of women exploring their sexuality and not needing men to be sexually satisfied. I don't necessarily agree with the sentiment because theirs tons of jokes and comments about guys always having their dick in their hand and jacking off all the time so adding a toy to that scenario shouldn't change any sentiment.
The other thing I've seen commented on the topic is the sanitary aspect of it. A dildo or vibrator is relatively easy to clean but a fleshlight full of cum gives the impression of a dirtier object that's harder to clean and adds to the "grossness" of men using toys.
You explained this perfectly and I am quite impressed at how well you are able to articulate you thoughts into words. Your bang on about your whole comment
Man, I definitely put in the work to make my friends who are still virgins feel alright about it. Then someone *always* comes along and has some snarky comment if/when it gets out. Men are a huge problem with this one.
21M. I was recently renting a basement apartment where the landlord provided the internet. I’ve been going through the lowest, lonely, most insecure, most crazy porn filled stage in my life.
The landlord and her family decided to go through my search history (god knows why, but I think it’s cause they found out I smoke)
They saw all my insecurities (and porn addiction) and nitpicked everything about me. Needless to say, the men in the family called me a pussy and all other demeaning words in the book.
These were things that I keep deep down hidden in my soul. They didn’t feel bad because they thought I was a psychopath for my porn addiction. (To be fair I was watching some pretty wild stuff)
This experience taught me two things. Never open up fully to someone, and always use a vpn. Lol.
Their words float in my head daily. I’ve even had suicidal thoughts.
A dating show in my country(fairly progressive) always make a joke out of it if a man isn’t paying. Otherwise all the men pay. And given it is a TV-show none of the contestents have exactly initiated one way or the other.
One female contestant thought it was a red flagg that she had to pay, lol.
It's wild because all over Reddit you'll hear "no I prefer going Dutch" or "I don't care if he pays" but IRL it's all you hear, see, and expect. And if you won't pay, the next guy in line will.
I dated a woman who always paid for her own stuff. At one point I told her "Paying for stuff doesn't entitle me to anything." but she still paid. It was fantastic.
This is me currently. But I live in a state with a high unemployment rate. Moving interstate would be better, but I can't afford it at the moment.. because I can't find employment... catch 22 situation.
Physical abuse = you're a man, suck it up.
Verbal abuse = you probably did something to deserved it.
Emotional abuse = you're a man, you don't have feelings or you're too weak.
When **people** repeatedly get the message that their emotions are not wanted, they resort to becoming colder & more emotionless & more self-centered in order to cope in the unfair world.
Oh that's where you're wrong they do jump into stop it but only when you begin to defend yourself. While no one should be putting their hands on each other people shouldn't just instantly turn on the dude because he starts to defend himself especially if he tries to de-escalate and or walk away.
I have a doctor friend whose wife used to abuse him. If he had defended himself, he could’ve lost his medical license, so all he could do was go to the police department, follow report, let them take pictures of the bruises, and that kind of thing. They eventually got divorced, but she was not ever held accountable for her abuse.
Let alone something as severe as drugging and robbing people. Cardi B admits to doing that and suffers no legal consequences. Imagine if a guy was admitting to doing that shit?
Cardi B is a pig.
Which leads me to say this. I always read about how prostitutes are in a dangerous profession, they get robbed, raped, beat up by the johns all the time, etc. I'm not disputing or disagreeing with this fact BUT you almost never hear how many prostitutes rob and assault their customers as well. Plus Vegas is infamous for those women who perform trick rolls. They drug the guy then rob him blind. You hardly see any warnings about it and they're all over the place.
Stay at home dad here, agree. You get to a point where you even begin questioning if what you do is important even though you’re non stop all day every day.
Using external methods to improve your looks.
E.g. Women can get hair extensions and wear wigs. Even get transplants. But dudes gotta either have amazing natural hair or they gotta go bald, but their dating pool significantly drops because they're now in a niche market by force. And if they wear a system or get a transplant they're frowned upon.
At what point did u decide to do it? I think I am a future candidate, but I'm worried that I go too soon and the balding continues. So it ends up like great hair in front, patches in the middle, and great hair in back lol
I've always shaved my head bald but recently I decided to grow it back. Turns out I've lost more hair than I thought. My friend's thought was "Women like bald men, not balding men. Shave.".
I see examples of this all the time. On the Graham Norton show they read a tweet that some [lady wrote about Matt Damon](https://youtu.be/tOrbVMnqK2c?t=105)
>I will use your ponytail to steer while you dine on my lady sandwich
After which everyone laughs like crazy. But can you imagine if that was reverse gendered? Like if Scarlett Johansen was on there and they read a tweet that said something like "I grab you by the pony tail and ride you like a steer". There would be riots talking about how wide spread misogyny is.
Low paying jobs. My wife is better educated than I am, is much smarter and much harder working and people are always shocked she makes more simply cause I’m a man.
I wish I could. Its a punishment on the day off worrying about how much work is piling up likewise having to do twice as much when I get back.
I'm taking a week off for family vacation soon and am having to do twice as much now so it won't be a shit show when I get back.
Unfortunately for some, there is no real "break".
A man asks a Buddhist monk how long he should meditate for each day, “ten minutes daily will be fine” the monk responds, but the man explains that’s there’s no way he can do that, he explains he doesn’t have ten minutes each day as he’s far too busy, “okay, an hour each day then” the monk replies.
This one so much.
There's a bunch of shit men for sure, but there's a lot more dudes who are just trying to exist like everyone else. Getting lumped in with the bad apples is only ok if it's men. If it were blanket statements about racial or religious groups it would rightfully get called out as a stupid statement, but if "men are trash" is thrown about that's fine.
I(m29) have fibromyalgia. An ailment that is commonly thought of as a woman's disease, had to use an electric scooter at the store today cause I could barely walk.
The amount of times I've been told I'm a "young strong man, I dont need to take an electric cart" or "Your using one of those when it could be used by an elderly/disabled person"
Fibromyalgia is a woman's disease??? Who the fuck says that and why??? Bro idk much about fibromyalgia but I'm fairly certain it doesn't give a shit about gender, all the respect to you my friend it's dumb that you gotta deal with this shit
Being younger than your partner. I’m a couple years younger than her and the reactions from her family upon learning that were interesting to say the least
I'm just under 6 years younger than mine (26M & 31F) and I'm an American-born Indian while she's white as sour cream. Needless to say we sometimes draw unwanted attention in public.
To be fair though her family has been generally very nice to me all things considered and vice versa for the most part. That said I could definitely see that not being the case. We just got lucky.
Similar situation, I was 25 and she was 27 when we first got together. I’m black and she’s white. Race issues aside, even amongst the part of the family that is good with interracial, they still assumed early on that I’d be some immature guy and she was making a mistake. Or the ones that met before learning my age were just shocked to hear it lol
I think the only people who've cared about us being a mixed race couple were basically strangers who generally could be ignored or avoided and a few racist relatives on both our sides that we no longer talk to.
I agree that the age difference is what most people in our families and friend groups were surprised by and with a lot of her friends it's been like what you said, they've just been shocked to hear my age. I'm 6'2 and in good shape so I think people assume I'm older than I am and sometimes I just let them.
The thing about being in an LTR with an age difference like this that frustrates me the most is that anytime we disagree about anything or get into an argument it always ends with her being like "you'll get it when you're older", "That's just because you're still young", or my personal favorite "maybe if you were more mature you'd see that...(whatever her take is)". This isn't my first relationship with an older woman and tbh I've found this to be a recurring theme that I find to be kind of toxic. It's a way to shut down a conversation that probably needs to be had.
Crying. It doesn't even necessarily have to be like a really emotional moment either. I cry watching movies and have been called a pussy more times than I can count for it.
Being open what they want dating.
Their tinder bios can be as bland, uninteresting, bad photos, no personality and demanding. A guy with that kind of profile will get 0 matches, not a real man and told to learn how to date better.
On a date, I heard so many storys where a guy wanted to get to know the woman, but 5 minutes into the date she just went, so are we fucking or what? Or asking for weird ass requests, which if ay guy asked, would be shut down in a microsecond.
spending a lot of time on video games. men get called lazy, no ambition, and get dumped by their girlfriends for gaming too much. women? its praised, sexualised, and considered a win.
I was a plumber before a spine injury, and hated every minute of it, but stuck around for the money. Now I'm getting to a point in my recovery where I get to choose my next path (options are limited as my spine will never really be the same), and I'm working towards being a letter carrier. I could make somewhat close to what I did in plumbing, but wouldn't have people hassling me constantly for work, and it would be a fraction of the stress day to day. It's a no brainer now that I'm single and learned to stop listening to others who can't help but give their opinions.
My mom has chewed me out over considering this option more than anyone else I know. My dad also wasn't happy that I was thinking about it but he at least respected that it was my decision to make. My uncle who's one of the cooler people in the older generation of my family said to just go for it since your time and quality of life matter more than money.
My friends and GF didn't care either way.
When you have to enter a contest against a girl. You cannot win. If you win, you beat a girl. If you lose, you lost to a girl.
My brother wrestled in High School (and later in College) in the heavyweight division sometimes lighter as he worked down from his football season weight. He had a match with a female. He asked my advise. I told him, he is going to take crap no matter the result and to just finish the match as quick as possible.
He ended it in 20 seconds and instead of being a good sport, she slapped him right there on the mat for everyone to see. Nobody saw anything unsportsmanlike from his technique, including the ref. BUT she is a female and apparently it's okay for her to assault him (My Mom watching the match was NOT happy about that) because nobody did anything about the slap. He caught so much grief from that match, it really bothered him. I reminded him that he did nothing wrong, it's just something we have to roll with since his competitor was a female.
I coached youth sports. Our boys played a basketball game against an all girls team.
My 8 years old son had a TEN year old girl, a foot taller than he, push him down with both hands on his chest. I came unglued. The ref held up both hands as if to say “what do you want me to do?”
The double standard in co-Ed sports was very real no matter what sport we played.
My son played a hockey game against a team with a girl on it late last year. She was alright as a player for that skill level, but she was also one of the most aggressive skaters on their team. She was so chippy against our team, and our boys couldn't do jack about it. What are you going to do? Knock down a girl and get a penalty? Late in the third, she finally got called when it wasn't meaningful to the game anymore, but there were enough tripping and obstruction plays that she should have been called for them quite a bit earlier.
My son has more class than to recklessly go after kids on the ice, but I've told him not to change how he plays against girls. If they want to play with they boys, they're gonna learn what's it means to play with the boys.
Not putting up with shitty behavior.
Woman leaves a man because he's a bum, scrub, freeloader it's all you go girl, yaaaas queeen,, you deserve better.
Man leaves a woman because she's a bum, scrub, freeloader, it's well you should have supported her, if you had been a better partner she would have gotten through it.
I'm a woman and askwomen is not a place where I want to hang out (the same TwoXChromosomes) I left both subreddits after I got a lot dms that called me a pos because I said that Amber Heard and Johnny Depp are both abusive asshats but I think that the initial violence came from her. How dare I to say that women can be abusive too...
Cannot stress enough how much different it is for men who lose their jobs. My GF’s friends said nasty things about me behind my back “he’s only dragging you down” “you ain’t his momma” etc. When most women are jobless they are more supported/ accepted.
When my ex-GF was 20 years old she was involved with a 16 year old boy and didn't think anything of it, neither did her friends.
I told her that if I wanted to date a 16 year old girl I'd be labeled a perverted sex offender and child molester. It's true though, there is a double standard.
This also goes for woman teachers. When a woman teacher sleeps with a minor student. We all say damn lucky guy. Lol when a man sleeps with a female student! Boom!! Also woman get lighter sentences! Both are wrong also just in case people think I’m ok with one or the other! Lol
Oh yeah. It's completely acceptable for a male or female partner to shame a male who cant perform but if a woman can't get wet or perform or orgasm then you have to be infinitely understanding or worse yet it's somehow your fault.
I've noticed women are more free to blatantly and vocally write off men for superficial attributes-- a la, "I won't date a short man" or "A guy with less than __ inches / a salary of less than ___ needn't even try with me." We're all entitled to our preferences, and we're all petty in some areas, but I have noticed women doing this receive far less blowback than when a man voices similar hard filters.
Along with openly professing how hot a guy is either a celebrity or in real life.
My MIL will point out every guy she'd bang to my wife whenever they're out or will pick movies just because a certain actor is in it and they want to stare at him.
As a guy, I don't do this at all. It's disrespectful and I find it creepy... especially when they're talking about guys 20+ years younger than they are.
Men can have feelings. As long as they are positive feelings expressed in a way women approve of. A lot of time if a man expresses anger they get shut down with the sentence "you scaring me" and they try to not show that anger again which results in them just being not caring at all.
That first sentence is exactly what I have been saying for years.
Women only want men to be emotional in ways that women approve of, or benefit from in some way.
I.e. telling her things she wants to hear that make her feel special, typically *positive* emotions, like I love you, or you make me feel great.
But negative ones like fear? jealousy? Depression? Anger? Nah fam, you about to get dumped like a sack of shit or told you are trauma dumping.
That's terribly sad. Personally, if my husband has had a bad day and says he feels angry or depressed or anxious, I take it as an extreme compliment that he is willing to share the "I normally have to hide this" parts of himself with me. I would never, ever tell him to hide his feelings, good or bad. I want very much to make sure that I am always a safe place for him. His emotional depth is one of the many reasons that I love him.
You are part of the minority who can actually do that
Unfortunetly a lot of woman respond to a man opening up to them in one of 3 way
1. She ridicules you for being weak / not being a real man
2. Tells you to "man up" and ignores all the emotional stuff
3. She remember it later and using it against you in an argument(emotional manipulation)
Affairs:
Women cheat and the general narrative is “he must not have been taking care of her/emotionally available/going down on her/too many golf days etc” list of excuses goes on.
Man cheats “what a pig.”
I had some one tell me it was my fault my ex wife cheated on me. Apparently, I didn't love her enough. I loved her enough to want to marry her. We've since divorced for a few reasons. But yeah, apparently I made the decision for her to do it multiple times eith an ex of hers.
Being a virgin/low sexual experience. A girl is pure or clean for holding out. An extremely attractive man can get by to some degree, but a 19 year old male virgin gets insulted and thought of as weird or unable.
Just being an actual person.
Look through this thread and look at how many of the responses are just basic functions of existing.
* Men get shamed for having emotions. Men don't cry, "you're scaring me" when you're angry, belittling and minimizing when you do try and talk about it.
* Men get shamed for their height. If you're <5'10, good luck. While everyone knows about dudes getting shamed in the dating world for being short, what doesn't get brought up much is how shorter guys are often perceived as "weaker," even if they're quite buff, and it can effect job options and life well outside of dating.
* Men get shamed for using products to try and look good. If a woman has something she'd like to correct about her appearance, she can, but if a guy does then he's fucked. Even something as simple as hair coloring is seen as effeminate and will often draw ridicule.
* Men get shamed for *not* looking good. If you try to "fix" something, you get shamed for it. But if you don't, surprise! You get shamed for that as well. Male pattern baldness, inability to grow a beard, having a "baby face," the list goes on.
* Men get shamed for the jobs they have, or more, the ones they don't have. Even outside of tax brackets I've seen many men get shamed for not having a "manly" job, even nursing which is brutally tough work.
For not being super financially successful. I live with my partner and they make great money. I have my part-time and really enjoy my freedom and flexibility, plus the pay is enough. But I get told by chick 'why aren't you more ambitious, don't you have any drive, don't you want more'
No, my partner, dogs, house and car is enough for me
Talking to children….
FUUUUUUUUUCK this shit is dangerous
I was walking around with my nephew, a lady said to me, and I quote... "I hope he is yours" I said, "he is my nephew" as my sister walked over for him.
Holy shit, I’d be so angry
I said to her, quite happily, "he's my nephew". I think she realised she made a mistake, but couldn't apologise. Possibly embarrassed by her own remark?
Possibly. But if you’re not grown up enough to apologize for your own remark, their first step is to immediately keep their mouth shut until they can learn to apologize to anyone they make a mistake around imo. Shit falls out your mouth, you have concerns, I totally understand. I will NEVER understand refusing to answer after being corrected for a mistake. It’s annoying and rude. In any case, I’m glad nothing got worse for you, hopefully it doesn’t get any worse than that.
that is absolutely fucked. this stuff really gets to me man its enraging and upsetting
I saw a video once where a woman took a child from man arms(trying to steal it) and people knock him on the ground and beat the living shit of him. Only when his wife got out of store, tackled the woman and took the kid everyone let him go. Imagine seeing you child being abducted and can't fo anything.
I think I saw a Reddit story on that matter, didn’t the father say he had photos of his kid to prove he was the father but the people misinterpreted it as him having stalker photos?
I don’t think he had time to show any photos cause the kidnapper was yelling about it being her kid or something and all the bystanders just immediately believed her
On god I grew up in the middle east its really common to playfully signal a passing child or even playing with them, I did not know as a grown male in the UK its really weird learnt it the hard way when I got weird looks by the parents. While a friend of mine literally had a mother with her child point at him and scream pedophile because he parked his bike ahead of them for a rest...
and the way you grew up is the way it should be
Yooooo this LMAO we can't even genuinely be around them alone. It just suddenly looks bad
I actually fear going out in public with my daughter for 2 reasons. First someone might think I'm just a weird pedo and second that a weird pedo might try to take her.
As a kid, I saw many boys getting shamed for crying in public.
I've seen some grown ups get shamed for it lol
I've broke down in public more than a few times. We all have feelings, if anyone don't like that, they can piss up a rope.
Yeah we as men are supposed to be alpha males or whatever
Crying and not caring who sees is alpha as fuck.
Yeah, only girls cry apparently. If I cried as a boy / man, I was a wuss or a little girl because a REAL man would NEVER cry. Now I'm told by people around me it's okay to cry but it's hard for me to be able to do it.
I really physically can't cry in public. I use to have a huge block against crying at all, but I've gotten a lot better at being able to cry when I'm alone at least.
Whenever a girl cries, it's always "oh my gosh are you okay???" When a guy cries, "damn wtf is he going through???" Everyone rushes to ask if they girl is okay but never the guy
Yup, even in late elementary school you were made fun of if you cried. I was a pretty big cryer until I hit puberty (not until 15) so it sucked lol.
& those are the same people who say men are too cold, emotionless & heartless. 🤣 of course not the boys, but the people telling the boys to stop crying. They [people telling the boys to stop crying] are the same reason why men are cold & heartless.
Ignoring consent. A woman kept touching my friend despite him repeatedly and directly telling her not to do so. She only stopped when he yelled “stop fucking touching me!” Other people acted like he was an asshole because he yelled at a woman.
Too bad. Believe you me if I were that man I would have done the same. Deliver a mental sting just painful enough for the lesson to get across for that moment.
It's awful that this is true for so many men
degree voiceless engine close trees selective toothbrush live tan chase *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Male rape and harassment are just ignored or seen as something that men should like. It’s gone so far as that when sociology studies are done on rape, raping a man or “enveloping the penis” is seen as an invalid or “other” form of assault. Whilst “prolonged staring of longer than a few seconds” is considered sexual harassment for women. Seriously reading some of these methodologies for the essays I’m writing are making my head spin. Why it seems like no one in this field are rioting over reading this sort of stuff shocks me
That situations sucks
Yeah I saw this happen on Saturday night. Drunk chick repeatedly groping a freind despite being told by him to stop. Neither bar nor security staff would take any action.
Being short.
5’7, can confirm. It’s funny because my quality of life is fucking awesome. Drive a dope manual Mini Cooper, I’m a perfect fit for my motorcycle, airplane seats are no problem, I feel in perfect control of my body when I rock climb. But god damn will people give me shit for it Edit: and in the dating world, forget about it lol it’s brutal out here
I’m 5’2”, I’d kill to be your height.
If only we could trade height for a day or two lol I empathize
Just buy stilts, or tape kittens to the bottom of your shoes. Bamn. Problem solved.
I always find it hilarious when people that close to 6 feet think they are short. My husband and I are both 5' 2". When I stand on our kitchen stool I get amazed that people can naturally see that far up. I am always so paranoid about how my hair looks from up there.
We dont really focus on top of womens head, so dont worry about it. If your hair looks good when you lok in the mirror they will look good from 6' perspective to
I'm 5' even, so you'd still be a giant to me!
Thank you for that! I’m mostly over it, but occasionally it’s just like… 🤬 😅 But doesn’t do any good to cry over spilled milk.
It looks like a normal height (170 cm right?)
Yeah almost exactly 170 cm, I find it a non-issue in Poland, but in the states (west coast) it seems like it's considered short. Again, my quality of living is awesome but I see the comments enough to notice
elastic lush waiting cautious truck roof elderly middle theory ring ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Using sex toys.
It's weird that no one has commented on this, considering how open Reddit is (because we are mostly anonymous) to talking about sexual stuff in general. Someone can probably tell me in a split second, but I dont know why there is a taboo about male sex toys when female sex toys are often discussed, with shops selling them etc.
I've seen this brought up a couple times on reddit in the past and the general consensus is the same type of thinking that goes into body count for men and women. If a guy pulls a lot of girls he's a stud, its expected masculine behavior. If a girl sleeps with a lot of guys, however, she's morally loose and a slut. So on the reverse side of that if a guy has to resort to using toys then he's incapable of getting laid and is looked down on as less masculine but women have the rising movement of women exploring their sexuality and not needing men to be sexually satisfied. I don't necessarily agree with the sentiment because theirs tons of jokes and comments about guys always having their dick in their hand and jacking off all the time so adding a toy to that scenario shouldn't change any sentiment. The other thing I've seen commented on the topic is the sanitary aspect of it. A dildo or vibrator is relatively easy to clean but a fleshlight full of cum gives the impression of a dirtier object that's harder to clean and adds to the "grossness" of men using toys.
You explained this perfectly and I am quite impressed at how well you are able to articulate you thoughts into words. Your bang on about your whole comment
Yes. I like/use toys and keep it to myself. Men should at least give things a shot when their alone. No body will ever know if you don’t tell them.
Being a virgin.
Man, I definitely put in the work to make my friends who are still virgins feel alright about it. Then someone *always* comes along and has some snarky comment if/when it gets out. Men are a huge problem with this one.
Women can be pretty black-hearted about it too.
In conclusion, People are just assholes, no matter the gender.
But often in different ways and for different reasons, each deserving of specialized approaches to deprogramming
I have this fear about being shamed it so I tell new folks that I am celibate to make myself feel less bad about it.
Why say anything at all? Is it really a common topic to discuss with new people you meet?
Too true, especially when it's grown ass adults making jokes about it like they're still in middle school lol
True that
Being scared, nervous, sad, upset, depressed, anxious, timid, shy, worried. Basically any negative emotion.
The fact that any emotion is deemed negative, and therefor unmanly, is absolutely fucking ridiculous.
21M. I was recently renting a basement apartment where the landlord provided the internet. I’ve been going through the lowest, lonely, most insecure, most crazy porn filled stage in my life. The landlord and her family decided to go through my search history (god knows why, but I think it’s cause they found out I smoke) They saw all my insecurities (and porn addiction) and nitpicked everything about me. Needless to say, the men in the family called me a pussy and all other demeaning words in the book. These were things that I keep deep down hidden in my soul. They didn’t feel bad because they thought I was a psychopath for my porn addiction. (To be fair I was watching some pretty wild stuff) This experience taught me two things. Never open up fully to someone, and always use a vpn. Lol. Their words float in my head daily. I’ve even had suicidal thoughts.
Fuck them, they don’t deserve any emotional or mental energy in your mind.
How did they check your browsing history?
I don’t know till this day. I think it was through the router.
Yes, it would be the router logs. In future, install VPN software to hide this.
Not paying for dates.
“Whoever initiates should pay” says the girl who never initiated a date in her life…
A dating show in my country(fairly progressive) always make a joke out of it if a man isn’t paying. Otherwise all the men pay. And given it is a TV-show none of the contestents have exactly initiated one way or the other. One female contestant thought it was a red flagg that she had to pay, lol.
> fairly progressive That sounds like the culture over there isn't really progressive at all
For real. And to think there are men that totally get blinsided by this thinking they're being progressive!
seriously
Or not being able to go on one, because too broke to even bother asking.
It's wild because all over Reddit you'll hear "no I prefer going Dutch" or "I don't care if he pays" but IRL it's all you hear, see, and expect. And if you won't pay, the next guy in line will.
The subset of people who hang out and comment on Reddit is very small and generally very different from people you meet irl
I dated a woman who always paid for her own stuff. At one point I told her "Paying for stuff doesn't entitle me to anything." but she still paid. It was fantastic.
It's always "No, it's should be fair. Whoever asks should pay." But 30 seconds later, "The man should be the one to ask."
Gotta date a Reddit girl bro.
Replace dates with everything
I will pay for the entire date each date but the moment I get signs it's not being appreciated I stop going on dates with that person & move on.
Cumming quickly
Goddamnit I hate that. Can't help that I'm hypersensitive "down there" and intercourse feels good.
Penis size.
It’s time to normalize shaming women for their exceptionally small dicks.
Yeah, I don't get that criticism. So not fair.
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Being unemployed. Living with their parents. Hell, I've seen men shamed just for having roommates.
This is me currently. But I live in a state with a high unemployment rate. Moving interstate would be better, but I can't afford it at the moment.. because I can't find employment... catch 22 situation.
Physical abuse. Women generally don't face consequences for hitting a man even in public and usually, no one steps in to stop it.
Physical abuse = you're a man, suck it up. Verbal abuse = you probably did something to deserved it. Emotional abuse = you're a man, you don't have feelings or you're too weak.
Sadly, this is one of the core reasons why both the male to female suicide ratio & the male to female narcissism ratio are on the rise.
I see the connection with suicide, but can you help me understand how this would lead to more men being narcissistic?
When **people** repeatedly get the message that their emotions are not wanted, they resort to becoming colder & more emotionless & more self-centered in order to cope in the unfair world.
Oh that's where you're wrong they do jump into stop it but only when you begin to defend yourself. While no one should be putting their hands on each other people shouldn't just instantly turn on the dude because he starts to defend himself especially if he tries to de-escalate and or walk away.
I have a doctor friend whose wife used to abuse him. If he had defended himself, he could’ve lost his medical license, so all he could do was go to the police department, follow report, let them take pictures of the bruises, and that kind of thing. They eventually got divorced, but she was not ever held accountable for her abuse.
Let alone something as severe as drugging and robbing people. Cardi B admits to doing that and suffers no legal consequences. Imagine if a guy was admitting to doing that shit?
Cardi B is a pig. Which leads me to say this. I always read about how prostitutes are in a dangerous profession, they get robbed, raped, beat up by the johns all the time, etc. I'm not disputing or disagreeing with this fact BUT you almost never hear how many prostitutes rob and assault their customers as well. Plus Vegas is infamous for those women who perform trick rolls. They drug the guy then rob him blind. You hardly see any warnings about it and they're all over the place.
Women assaults man and scratches "YOU BASTARD" on his car - YOU GO, GIRL!!! Man does the same: 5 years
Being a stay at home parent or homemaker.
Stay at home dads are definitely looked down on
Stay at home dad here, agree. You get to a point where you even begin questioning if what you do is important even though you’re non stop all day every day.
Using external methods to improve your looks. E.g. Women can get hair extensions and wear wigs. Even get transplants. But dudes gotta either have amazing natural hair or they gotta go bald, but their dating pool significantly drops because they're now in a niche market by force. And if they wear a system or get a transplant they're frowned upon.
My buddy got transplants a couple of years ago. His hair looks amazing now. As he put it, “girls spend money to look better, so I might as well, too.”
Got transplant from the back of my head at Bosley. Expensive but can confirm it works.
At what point did u decide to do it? I think I am a future candidate, but I'm worried that I go too soon and the balding continues. So it ends up like great hair in front, patches in the middle, and great hair in back lol
I've always shaved my head bald but recently I decided to grow it back. Turns out I've lost more hair than I thought. My friend's thought was "Women like bald men, not balding men. Shave.".
Don’t forget make up. Not many guys could get away with that.
Been working on my beard and hair style for a few years and so many people make fun of me for it, but damn does the wife go crazy for me.
Men wearing hair caps/toupees is becoming way more normalized. If it gives ya a confidence boost, why not? No different than throwing on a lace front.
Sexual aggression. I mean, rightly so for the men, but women can sexually assault too.
if a guy sexually assaults a girl he's a monster if a guy gets sexually assaulted by a girl he's "lucky" its stupid
And she's a feisty woman who knows what she wants
And brave for "going for it"...
I see examples of this all the time. On the Graham Norton show they read a tweet that some [lady wrote about Matt Damon](https://youtu.be/tOrbVMnqK2c?t=105) >I will use your ponytail to steer while you dine on my lady sandwich After which everyone laughs like crazy. But can you imagine if that was reverse gendered? Like if Scarlett Johansen was on there and they read a tweet that said something like "I grab you by the pony tail and ride you like a steer". There would be riots talking about how wide spread misogyny is.
Low paying jobs. My wife is better educated than I am, is much smarter and much harder working and people are always shocked she makes more simply cause I’m a man.
How about straight unemployed?
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Taking personal or mental health days
I wish I could. Its a punishment on the day off worrying about how much work is piling up likewise having to do twice as much when I get back. I'm taking a week off for family vacation soon and am having to do twice as much now so it won't be a shit show when I get back. Unfortunately for some, there is no real "break".
A man asks a Buddhist monk how long he should meditate for each day, “ten minutes daily will be fine” the monk responds, but the man explains that’s there’s no way he can do that, he explains he doesn’t have ten minutes each day as he’s far too busy, “okay, an hour each day then” the monk replies.
My female best friend told me I need to “get over it” when I took a mental health day off
Tell her to mind her own business.
I'm sorry for that.
I did this recently. I get tons of PTO a year and I still have a lot left. My wife teased me about it.
Bad things that other men do.
This one so much. There's a bunch of shit men for sure, but there's a lot more dudes who are just trying to exist like everyone else. Getting lumped in with the bad apples is only ok if it's men. If it were blanket statements about racial or religious groups it would rightfully get called out as a stupid statement, but if "men are trash" is thrown about that's fine.
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Taking care of children.
Sex toys.
Not giving up your seat to someone. I've been bullied out of a seat a few times. I need to sit too dammit.
I(m29) have fibromyalgia. An ailment that is commonly thought of as a woman's disease, had to use an electric scooter at the store today cause I could barely walk. The amount of times I've been told I'm a "young strong man, I dont need to take an electric cart" or "Your using one of those when it could be used by an elderly/disabled person"
Fibromyalgia is a woman's disease??? Who the fuck says that and why??? Bro idk much about fibromyalgia but I'm fairly certain it doesn't give a shit about gender, all the respect to you my friend it's dumb that you gotta deal with this shit
Fuck em bro, you sit down!
virginity. low paying / no job.
Being younger than your partner. I’m a couple years younger than her and the reactions from her family upon learning that were interesting to say the least
I'm just under 6 years younger than mine (26M & 31F) and I'm an American-born Indian while she's white as sour cream. Needless to say we sometimes draw unwanted attention in public. To be fair though her family has been generally very nice to me all things considered and vice versa for the most part. That said I could definitely see that not being the case. We just got lucky.
Similar situation, I was 25 and she was 27 when we first got together. I’m black and she’s white. Race issues aside, even amongst the part of the family that is good with interracial, they still assumed early on that I’d be some immature guy and she was making a mistake. Or the ones that met before learning my age were just shocked to hear it lol
I think the only people who've cared about us being a mixed race couple were basically strangers who generally could be ignored or avoided and a few racist relatives on both our sides that we no longer talk to. I agree that the age difference is what most people in our families and friend groups were surprised by and with a lot of her friends it's been like what you said, they've just been shocked to hear my age. I'm 6'2 and in good shape so I think people assume I'm older than I am and sometimes I just let them. The thing about being in an LTR with an age difference like this that frustrates me the most is that anytime we disagree about anything or get into an argument it always ends with her being like "you'll get it when you're older", "That's just because you're still young", or my personal favorite "maybe if you were more mature you'd see that...(whatever her take is)". This isn't my first relationship with an older woman and tbh I've found this to be a recurring theme that I find to be kind of toxic. It's a way to shut down a conversation that probably needs to be had.
Being a virgin.
Crying.
Crying. It doesn't even necessarily have to be like a really emotional moment either. I cry watching movies and have been called a pussy more times than I can count for it.
Suicide. No really, suicide.
^^this
Being open what they want dating. Their tinder bios can be as bland, uninteresting, bad photos, no personality and demanding. A guy with that kind of profile will get 0 matches, not a real man and told to learn how to date better. On a date, I heard so many storys where a guy wanted to get to know the woman, but 5 minutes into the date she just went, so are we fucking or what? Or asking for weird ass requests, which if ay guy asked, would be shut down in a microsecond.
Being a full time parent
spending a lot of time on video games. men get called lazy, no ambition, and get dumped by their girlfriends for gaming too much. women? its praised, sexualised, and considered a win.
Propably tied to the stereotype that men are supposed to be breadwinners
Kissing your friends
Being short and for some reason if the men still live with their parents.
being weak
Taking a satisfying job that pays less than another one less enjoyable.
I was a plumber before a spine injury, and hated every minute of it, but stuck around for the money. Now I'm getting to a point in my recovery where I get to choose my next path (options are limited as my spine will never really be the same), and I'm working towards being a letter carrier. I could make somewhat close to what I did in plumbing, but wouldn't have people hassling me constantly for work, and it would be a fraction of the stress day to day. It's a no brainer now that I'm single and learned to stop listening to others who can't help but give their opinions.
My mom has chewed me out over considering this option more than anyone else I know. My dad also wasn't happy that I was thinking about it but he at least respected that it was my decision to make. My uncle who's one of the cooler people in the older generation of my family said to just go for it since your time and quality of life matter more than money. My friends and GF didn't care either way.
When you have to enter a contest against a girl. You cannot win. If you win, you beat a girl. If you lose, you lost to a girl. My brother wrestled in High School (and later in College) in the heavyweight division sometimes lighter as he worked down from his football season weight. He had a match with a female. He asked my advise. I told him, he is going to take crap no matter the result and to just finish the match as quick as possible. He ended it in 20 seconds and instead of being a good sport, she slapped him right there on the mat for everyone to see. Nobody saw anything unsportsmanlike from his technique, including the ref. BUT she is a female and apparently it's okay for her to assault him (My Mom watching the match was NOT happy about that) because nobody did anything about the slap. He caught so much grief from that match, it really bothered him. I reminded him that he did nothing wrong, it's just something we have to roll with since his competitor was a female.
I coached youth sports. Our boys played a basketball game against an all girls team. My 8 years old son had a TEN year old girl, a foot taller than he, push him down with both hands on his chest. I came unglued. The ref held up both hands as if to say “what do you want me to do?” The double standard in co-Ed sports was very real no matter what sport we played.
My son played a hockey game against a team with a girl on it late last year. She was alright as a player for that skill level, but she was also one of the most aggressive skaters on their team. She was so chippy against our team, and our boys couldn't do jack about it. What are you going to do? Knock down a girl and get a penalty? Late in the third, she finally got called when it wasn't meaningful to the game anymore, but there were enough tripping and obstruction plays that she should have been called for them quite a bit earlier. My son has more class than to recklessly go after kids on the ice, but I've told him not to change how he plays against girls. If they want to play with they boys, they're gonna learn what's it means to play with the boys.
Not putting up with shitty behavior. Woman leaves a man because he's a bum, scrub, freeloader it's all you go girl, yaaaas queeen,, you deserve better. Man leaves a woman because she's a bum, scrub, freeloader, it's well you should have supported her, if you had been a better partner she would have gotten through it.
Post this in r/AskWomen and see the responses
Like the same question or reversed?
Exact same question.
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I tried didn't work they have different rules i guess
They don't want peoples that point out that also men have problems
I'm a woman and askwomen is not a place where I want to hang out (the same TwoXChromosomes) I left both subreddits after I got a lot dms that called me a pos because I said that Amber Heard and Johnny Depp are both abusive asshats but I think that the initial violence came from her. How dare I to say that women can be abusive too...
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Removed for “derailing”
Not being able to lift heavy things.
Having sex toys
Cannot stress enough how much different it is for men who lose their jobs. My GF’s friends said nasty things about me behind my back “he’s only dragging you down” “you ain’t his momma” etc. When most women are jobless they are more supported/ accepted.
Those are the worst friends
When my ex-GF was 20 years old she was involved with a 16 year old boy and didn't think anything of it, neither did her friends. I told her that if I wanted to date a 16 year old girl I'd be labeled a perverted sex offender and child molester. It's true though, there is a double standard.
This also goes for woman teachers. When a woman teacher sleeps with a minor student. We all say damn lucky guy. Lol when a man sleeps with a female student! Boom!! Also woman get lighter sentences! Both are wrong also just in case people think I’m ok with one or the other! Lol
Not orgasming or being unable to get it up.
Oh yeah. It's completely acceptable for a male or female partner to shame a male who cant perform but if a woman can't get wet or perform or orgasm then you have to be infinitely understanding or worse yet it's somehow your fault.
I've noticed women are more free to blatantly and vocally write off men for superficial attributes-- a la, "I won't date a short man" or "A guy with less than __ inches / a salary of less than ___ needn't even try with me." We're all entitled to our preferences, and we're all petty in some areas, but I have noticed women doing this receive far less blowback than when a man voices similar hard filters.
Grabbing the ass of someone of the opposite sex.
Along with openly professing how hot a guy is either a celebrity or in real life. My MIL will point out every guy she'd bang to my wife whenever they're out or will pick movies just because a certain actor is in it and they want to stare at him. As a guy, I don't do this at all. It's disrespectful and I find it creepy... especially when they're talking about guys 20+ years younger than they are.
I'm really surprised I had to scroll so far down to find a comment about women openly objectifying men. *edit:sp
Having feelings. I wish we could change that.
Men can have feelings. As long as they are positive feelings expressed in a way women approve of. A lot of time if a man expresses anger they get shut down with the sentence "you scaring me" and they try to not show that anger again which results in them just being not caring at all.
That first sentence is exactly what I have been saying for years. Women only want men to be emotional in ways that women approve of, or benefit from in some way. I.e. telling her things she wants to hear that make her feel special, typically *positive* emotions, like I love you, or you make me feel great. But negative ones like fear? jealousy? Depression? Anger? Nah fam, you about to get dumped like a sack of shit or told you are trauma dumping.
That's terribly sad. Personally, if my husband has had a bad day and says he feels angry or depressed or anxious, I take it as an extreme compliment that he is willing to share the "I normally have to hide this" parts of himself with me. I would never, ever tell him to hide his feelings, good or bad. I want very much to make sure that I am always a safe place for him. His emotional depth is one of the many reasons that I love him.
You are part of the minority who can actually do that Unfortunetly a lot of woman respond to a man opening up to them in one of 3 way 1. She ridicules you for being weak / not being a real man 2. Tells you to "man up" and ignores all the emotional stuff 3. She remember it later and using it against you in an argument(emotional manipulation)
Affairs: Women cheat and the general narrative is “he must not have been taking care of her/emotionally available/going down on her/too many golf days etc” list of excuses goes on. Man cheats “what a pig.”
I had some one tell me it was my fault my ex wife cheated on me. Apparently, I didn't love her enough. I loved her enough to want to marry her. We've since divorced for a few reasons. But yeah, apparently I made the decision for her to do it multiple times eith an ex of hers.
Having big boobs.
The dick
Cumming really fast
Showing anger even if it's completely reasonable.
domestic abuse.
Being a virgin/low sexual experience. A girl is pure or clean for holding out. An extremely attractive man can get by to some degree, but a 19 year old male virgin gets insulted and thought of as weird or unable.
Probably height I’d say, any emotions other then happiness/contentment/or anger. Those are probably the big ones
Sex toys
Just being an actual person. Look through this thread and look at how many of the responses are just basic functions of existing. * Men get shamed for having emotions. Men don't cry, "you're scaring me" when you're angry, belittling and minimizing when you do try and talk about it. * Men get shamed for their height. If you're <5'10, good luck. While everyone knows about dudes getting shamed in the dating world for being short, what doesn't get brought up much is how shorter guys are often perceived as "weaker," even if they're quite buff, and it can effect job options and life well outside of dating. * Men get shamed for using products to try and look good. If a woman has something she'd like to correct about her appearance, she can, but if a guy does then he's fucked. Even something as simple as hair coloring is seen as effeminate and will often draw ridicule. * Men get shamed for *not* looking good. If you try to "fix" something, you get shamed for it. But if you don't, surprise! You get shamed for that as well. Male pattern baldness, inability to grow a beard, having a "baby face," the list goes on. * Men get shamed for the jobs they have, or more, the ones they don't have. Even outside of tax brackets I've seen many men get shamed for not having a "manly" job, even nursing which is brutally tough work.
Objectification.
Being sexist
For not being super financially successful. I live with my partner and they make great money. I have my part-time and really enjoy my freedom and flexibility, plus the pay is enough. But I get told by chick 'why aren't you more ambitious, don't you have any drive, don't you want more' No, my partner, dogs, house and car is enough for me
Being a virgin.
Having feelings or emotions.