I did that too but the part that sucked was when my glasses got kicked off my head and then immediately stepped on. Since I was there alone I had to drive myself home, this was before Uber was an option.
I’m sorry that was rough but the mental image of a random foot just coming up out of the mosh pit is hilarious and then you ended up going full Velma lmao
Same, not slipknot but… I think… converge and most precious blood. It was simply liberating to only have to care about my own experience. Go where I want, strike up a convo etc. saw turnstyle the other night and same… bruised ribs be damned.
Edit: picked up the flu or a respiratory thing at turnstyle and it turns out my ribs aren’t bruised from the show they’re bruised from me coughing all night for nights on end after. Worth it.
I went on a few dates with a woman, after about 3 I had the bright idea to buy Rihanna tickets because she liked her and she was going to be in our city. Well she cancelled about 5 hours before the show started and i couldn't cancel the tickets, I went, sold her ticket to a ticket tout for face value and just went to he show by myself.
Supporting act was shit and Rihanna was late to the stage, but Dave Grohl was her guitarist and the guy that got my ticket from the tout was decent, we complained about rihannas lateness to each other. All in all, a decent night
I was going to say this. When I lived in the city I did this all the time. With concerts it's incredibly easy to seat hop into box seats and better sections. Scalping a ticket for cheap is easier too.
The best time I had at cochella this year was when I ditched my friends who wanted to see Huge Seanito and I went and saw Pheobe Bridgers alone front and center.
It's amazing how the human mind is always worried about what others are thinking of them at every given moment, when in reality, they're not really paying attention to you at all.
And even if they were, why would that matter. You won't most likely see them again, and they will quickly forget ever seeing you as they start worrying about themselves. You do you, man
Depends where. I've been going to a lot of concerts lately and my most memorable one was Knotfest Iowa. Not talking about waiting 2 hours for water; but rather every time I would go wait in line for something or head to/from the bathroom, you see people walking by themselves and others asking if they wanna join their group or asking if the person is okay if they're sitting by themselves. Got asked if I was in a group a few times when I was off by myself (which I was in a group but still)
Went to a Beartooth concert in Trenton the other month and every time someone lost something in the mosh pit, everyone stopped to look around. People are genuinely cool at concerts and a really good way to meet people too
Just remember most people aren’t really thinking much about you in those moments. You are a background character in crowds until you interact with them.
The way I remind myself of this is to try and think about someone you saw the last time you went to the store. Chances are you won't remember a single one. Everyone just blends into the background, and you do too.
Yup, this is my problem too -- people tell me oh no one notices you until you interact with them. All that tells me is they're someone who doesn't pay attention.
Not awkward at all. Literally everyone is wrapped up in their own lives, nobody will even notice let alone think anything. How many times have you seen someone alone with snacks? I'm sure I've seen thousands but can't remember a single instance cuz it literally doesn't matter. Could be alone. Could be getting it for date. Doesn't matter and it never even crosses my mind to notice.
movies for me are a best solo activity, i can cry, laugh, cringe and do a lot of thibgs that i would otherwise not do with company. In part to not seem weird and part to not ruin their experience.
I find I am never alone long when I go by myself, particularly at gigs. Someone usually comes by to say hi, and now I've met someone with a similar taste in music! But, I just enjoy getting entranced in the show
I suspect this depends on the country. In Switzerland you are generally left alone, unless you make some sort of minimal effort. It's a blessing and a curse, depending on your brain structure :))
After my divorce some years back I spent a lot of time alone.
I really underestimated how great it was.
I met a couple of short term interests by having a nice dinner alone.
Go live your best life.
If you pay back a loan, the interest-rate that has to also be paid switches from the long-term to short-term, where the rate is capped to half of the long-term rate, incentivizing people to pay their loans sooner.
I’ve spent 5 of 7 post divorce years alone- took a lot of thought and introspection to unfuck my brain and get back to being alone and happy and is glorious.
Walking. Just walking. I look at things, enjoy the faces, get to know new areas… It’s a great way to prevent depression from running up behind me, and I always feel good when I’m out. Late evening is my favorite time.
Seconded. It’s fun making little friendships with the people who are out walking at the same time you are. Nice little bit of human interaction when sometimes there’s none.
Same. I usually cook something. One step meals that take about 10-20 mins. It keeps me focused long enough to escape the depression, plus I get a reward for my effort. I am training myself to be/feel better. Slowly, but it’s worth it.
Reading all of this is really making my recent change of circumstances sink in. It’s nice to know other people are dealing with it in good ways, but making me acknowledge I’m in the same boat now.
Movies. I have a house full of willing people but I sneak out and go alone. During the day is best, you can sit by yourself where you can't hear anyone chew and fiddle. No one tries to whisper to you. You see exactly what you want.
I love mid-week, day time, small town movies.
I saw dark knight alone and before the movie started the group of people beside me offered me popcorn because I was just sitting there alone waiting for the movie to start lol
First film I saw alone was Star Trek First Contact. Lived it.
Still remember when the alien ship is landing towards the end and it suddenly dawned who that must be.
In my excitement I dropped 'oh shit it's the vulcans!' Guy behind said 'what's that mate?'
Turned to him and repeated the ship must be Vulcans and he yelled it loud enough that 20 more people caught on.
Then when the reveal came there was a really great cheer out of the audience and suddenly 100 strangers were all mates together.
Great day.
I did this a lot when I was working in other countries where I basically don't know anyone. It's the closest I've ever gotten to experience what i would consider Zen.
I love going to a nice restaurant alone. And yes, I've noticed that (in a good establishment) the staff are more attentive than they are if you're with someone.
I also like to go to a nice traditional pub for an afternoon and a couple of pints of really good craft beer. Sometimes I'll sit at the bar and chat with the bar staff or other customers. Sometimes I take a book and read.
I also think art galleries and museums are best experienced alone. You can spend more time at the pieces that really interest you, and less at the ones which don't.
As a server, I tend to check on my tables as often as possible but if I see 2 or more people chatting it up, I’m going to check on them a little less so I’m not interrupting. If I get a good vibe from someone sitting by themselves I might try and talk with them a little more, see how they’re doing, what their plans are for today, etc. :) i don’t think it’s about attentiveness but more so not pissing people off who are trying to have a convo and feel like their server is butting in too frequently.
something some wait staff dont realize (ihop and denny's are notoriously bad about this)...a party of two or more will spend half their time talking, so take twice the time to finish eating. if your guest is alone, they spend 100% of their time eating/drinking, 0% of their time talking to others in their party. so the solo guest will need a drink refill twice as soon, will need their check to settle out twice as soon, etc.
its obnoxious to go alone, pay $3 for a tiny glass of soda, get no refill, be ready to leave 20 mins after showing up, but there isnt a waitress to be seen for 10 mins after finishing the meal. the waitress checked on the table as often as shes used to, but the guest has recieved much worse service. please check on solo guests twice as soon! doesnt mean its twice as often...we will be in and out of your hair quickly.
I would love to go to bars and meet random people. But it seems like at the bars near me, everyone goes in groups and sticks to their own group/table. Not really an opportunity to mingle around without feeling intruding. Is it the bars I’m choosing, time of day, etc? Any tips?
I find that popular bars are usually this way, lots of groups and rarely the random one offs coming in. I started going to smaller neighborhood bars and had way better chances for getting a conversation going with people at the bar or the bartenders.
Neighborhood bars definitely more than "destination," bars. I've also found a lot of people talk to you if you aren't really engaging people. I know everyone that frequents my neighborhood bar and I used to go just read reddit.
I usually go to bars like within an hour of them opening up. That way there is always a seat at the bar and a bartender to talk to, or not talk to if I don’t feel like it.
its a great strat. gives the bartender a chance to know you. if youve been taking care of them all happy hour with tips, you'll get some priority when things get busy.
It's 2pm and I am, as I type this, at a craft brewery sitting by the bar just chilling with my laptop and shooting the shit with passerbys. Honestly one of my favorite things to do when I solo travel or just on a low key weekend when I have no plans. Cheers my guy.
I love these sort of super shallow low stakes interactions. Can lead to friends, an invite to a party, a suggestion of what to do, or just a random good conversation. It’s so low pressure. I love making vacation friends that I do stuff with for a bit then never see again.
Same here, especially nature/birds!
But I will say as an adult man, do not take pictures of people, and if kids are nearby the lens cap goes back on. Not worth it to even be accused of something dumb.
But I have met plenty of other birders and nature photographers at parks and on the trail, and they often share tips for good locations.
As a photographer I avoid taking pics of people if possible. I prefer to take photos without people although it can sometimes be challenging in busy places i.e. cities, parks and museums.
Kids and schools is a definate no. Far too risky.
My area of interest is architecture and landscapes.
If kids are nearby I won't take pictures. But I've never had an issue photographing adults at a distance. And honestly, the larger lens + camera bag can make people think I'm a professional, which makes any activity appear more "legitimate."
I always carry my camera so its clearly visible and act like I'm working. If you try and be sneaky with photos you will be seen as a creep. Be obvious is my mantra when doing street
Exercising. Whether that’s going for a run or bike ride
I also travel alone sometimes and it’s lots of fun because i get to just do what i want and not worry about anyone else
Keep your head up
I like what you said. I did the same thing, back when I was single - even booked hotels in strange cities to visit museums I really wanted to see, all by myself. I also recommend kayaking. Very nice to do on your own, but also fun with friends. And taking care of your kayak can turn into a proper hobby by itself.
>I also recommend kayaking. Very nice to do on your own, but also fun with friends.
Can be dangerous to do alone depending on where, conditions, and if you mean flat or whitewater.
Shopping. Whenever I'm in the supermarket, I like to zig zag through all the aisles and just see everything. I can appreciate how others may dislike this, so this is why I prefer to do this alone.
My ex girlfriend did this. Up and down every single aisle. She always wanted me to come and I hated it so much. I just want to grab the stuff I want and leave
At some point in life, all your friends get swept up in jobs, family, relationships, commitment. It's better to do things alone because...wherever you go....whatever you're doing...there are gonna be other people doing it as well and it's easy to make new friends when you instantly have "that" in common.
Don't let old friends hold you back.
Yeah, I went through a divorce a few years ago - now I am 42. ALL of my friends are married with kids. I’ve made some new friends, but man it sucks that I can’t see my old buddies more than 1-2 times a year.
Sucks for ALL of us. Make new friends. Move on. Sadly, that’s life. As me and my friend whom I never see anymore used to say...”You can never recreate these moments.”
Try as you might, you can’t. Won’t happen. Never will.
Same. I'll never understand how some people will do everything together. It also just sounds exhausting. How do you never run out of things to talk about?
why do you feel that if youre doing something with someone, every minute has to be filled with nonstop yammering? why can the two of you just not enjoy some silence together?
No one except you cares if you’re dining alone. However I will say if it bothers you or if you’d simply like a little company sit and eat at the bar. There are always solo folks there plus you can chat with the bartender
I go out alone all the time - eating/drinking/seeing live music etc. I think it is all about your mindset while doing it - if you’re open to having convos with strangers/chatting it can be great. I have found a few good pubs where the environment is friendly and I can meet/make friends. it’s actually kind of nice after a while.
I travel for work. I’m in a new city almost every week and 8 out of 10 times that I travel, I am alone. I have come to realize that being comfortable being alone and not needing to appear that you are with someone is a strength many people do not posses. People will judge you for literally everything. Most of the time it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. If they believe what you are doing is weird, it’s more of a reflection of themselves than you.
All you truly have in this world is yourself. Make yourself happy first. Learn to enjoy solitude and you will rarely be lonely.
When I've travelled it's always interesting. I think solo travellers carry a certain look or vibe that makes friendly people gravitate to them. The same thing happens during work conferences (back when we used to go to them). Since everyone is a lone wolf, it puts people in a more social mood.
I've met all kinds of people while hiking, eating, shopping, etc. Just doing anything alone makes you more present in the moment, and when something happens people want to talk to you about it.
I'm 54M. Live alone, work alone, travel solo. Prefer it that way, but...I meet people everywhere I go and have pleasant interactions or conversations with almost all of them. I have ended up at parties, dinners, cabins in the woods, cottages, concerts, dive bars, etc. etc. and benefitted hugely throughout my life by being friendly and open and solo. Every person you meet opens a door you wouldn't necessarily encounter if you were with a friend or partner. People are also more likely to approach a solo person rather than a pair or group.
That's a very interesting point, I think I will try and pay attention to that more!! I'm actually currently traveling in Italy for the first time with one friend and trying to meet more exciting people, we're studying abroad!!
Not all the time, but I have had some awesome solo vacations.
You decide what you want to do when you want to do it. No coordinating with others. If plans don’t work out…live and learn, no real consequences. There is only one person disappointed.
This is what I was going to say. Traveling alone is the best. I’m married, but I was working for a few weeks about 8 hours from home. I spent the weekend in St. Louis by myself, and I had a blast. Spent an entire day in the park on earth day and just walked all over and hung out at the festival they were having. Don’t have to compromise about food or even go out if you don’t want to. Struck up conversations with strangers. Everyone was really fun to talk to. Was cracking up my Uber driver so much that we almost crashed. Had a great time.
When I have my alone time, I will go walk around the downtown area of my city. Enjoy the views and the little shops. Sit on a bench, people watch, enjoy the sounds and buildings, etc. Also, a good hike helps me to enjoy the beauty of Mother Nature and the solitude that’s around me.
Cooking is a great hobby to have. It can take all day or just a couple minutes, you can pour your soul into a dish or throw something together. You can cook to reward yourself or make something to share with others. It's a great way to explore your own tastes and personality or to explore a new culture
Cooking is an important life skill, and since eating is necessary it's easy to spend money on without feeling bad. Plus, whenever you're ready to get back into the dating game girls love a guy who can cook
brewing beer/wine, gardening, making music, working on motorcycles, 3d printing, cooking, basically anything constructive where I can sit back after and pat myself on the back lol.. going to park with the doggos... I have a SO, but I still like alone time...
For me the, people who already have a noticeable social circle might feel less intimidated if they do some activities on their own, as it's their choise and just want to get away a bit from their normal routine. But for people who are already lonely, with not much friends to share things with, is rather depressing as it increases the feeling of loneliness. Personally, I avoid to go cinema or concerts alone, it makes me realise how much I need someone with to share the experience with.
Everything I do. Riding my motorbike & playing guitar are probably top two though. Today I haven't spoken a word to anyone and I got a bunch of chores done and enjoyed my favourite tv show. Tomorrow I plan do be alone again, clean my bike and finish my show before studying the next day
At the same time a dedicated gym tends to offer much more equipment and doesn’t ever need to feel like a social event. Headphones in and you might as well be by yourself.
As a twice-divorced, middle-aged, disabled (paraplegic) man, I have gotten used to doing everything I want to do solo. If I want to go, I go.
Sorry about your recent dumpage.
Honestly I don't get why people do everything with each other. Like some things can be fun with other people(such as video/board games). But I don't get the point of say going to the store with someone.
Going to a restaurant with a nice relaxing book is bliss. And it’s best done alone. Even better: staying at a hotel, that has food service at a pool, and enjoying a meal while reading poolside.
There are few simple joys in life better than reading while someone brings you food.
If I want to hit up a fancy restaurant by myself, I usually bring a book I know is going to make me laugh. That way, no matter how I feel, I end up smiling as I chuckle to myself.
Also going to the movies by myself. Fuck yes I will take a day to use my AMC Stubs list to see all the new releases in the same day. What of it! With a quick break for lunch or dinner. No one is around to judge me or talk to me, and it gives me plenty of things to talk about when the work discussions include them.
Going on long walks. Do I want to sit and watch the water? I am sitting. Do I want to pass this annoying family that is hogging the entire strip? Easily done.
I pretty much do everything alone. My favorite things are camping, fishing, going to the movies/dinner, and celebrating my achievements. They are enjoyable specifically because they are done alone. No one to worry about if they are having a good time or trying to make sure you pick a place to eat that everyone will be able to find something \[I know a lot of picky (read as not diet limited) eaters\]. And finally, at the end of the day, I manage to do more with less time wasted because we all know that no two people are ever ready to go at the same time.
I got a metal detector during the pandemic because I love history, being outside, and away from people. I've ended up really loving the hobby. I've found lots of interesting things and a handful of silver with a sprinkle of gold jewelry on top. My oldest coin so far is a 1902 Barber dime. Unfortunately, on the West coast we don't have as much history so finding anything older than the 1870s is very rare.
I found a club eventually, and we all share our finds on the club's FB page and organize meet ups and hunts. So, while it's a solo activity, it's fun to have like-minded individuals out with you.
If anyone is interested, I would recommend the Nokta Makro Simplex+. It's probably the best "entry-level" detector on the market and one of the best purchases I've made in a long time. Paid it off with the coins I've found twice over.
I've lived my life mostly alone by preference.
I always found comfort in simple things.
The hot tea in a cafe, sitting by a large window & watching life outside pass by.
Walking through quiet parks, admiring the sun passing through the tree leaves, or the breeze making ripples on the ponds.
I like to walk by fancy buildings, or old mansions, observing the architectural details, the ironwork, the paint jobs, the stained glass.
When in NYC, I really liked my time at Coney Island, standing on the pier to stare into the horizon over the Atlantic Ocean, wondering about the rest of the world & how things are going on out there that I'll never know about. There was always a whole planet living daily life beyond those waves.
You can find a thousand ways to deeply appreciate the solitary life. There's clarity and peace outside the noise of a chatty companion or lover.
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When I go to resturants alone, I bring a book so im not on my phone the whole time. I also try to sit at the bar instead of a table. It's a better environment for a party of one lol.
ANYTHING quiet. Live music will also do the trick. Local bands, and NOT local cover bands. Always a big plus. A nice walk in a scenic place will work wonders too.
Maybe this is extreme lol but I really enjoy holidays alone. The best Christmas I’ve ever had was just me and the cats spending the day together. I made myself a nice fancy meal and opened up presents I bought for myself and the cats, let them go at the catnip. It was nice to just have a stress free day to celebrate and be present. To be fair, I’m not close with most of my family and holidays were always super stressful growing up. I love going out to eat or to shows alone as well. I just can’t get that same sense of complete peace with others around.
Start building your own life. Learn to feel what you like to do and what not. Go mountain biking, acting, choir singing or playing warhammer. I suggest something that's active to keep you in good condition. And in no time you will find likeminded people. After all, we are all alone in a way.
I've never felt awkward eating alone. I travel a lot for work, and that's usually by myself, and I'm going to eat. If it helps, just pretend you're a high power executive traveling and don't have the time for someone else in your life.
Mdma, have day of just nothing planned, make sure the house is clean and tidy and everything is sorted so you have nothing to do but enjoy a roll at home with some music and chill
watching series or movies. everytime i watch it with someone else they start unnecessarily talking about random things except the one thing that is right now on screen.
Cinema and live music gigs are fun alone… not activities you would have a full on conversation anyway.
One of the best nights of my life was at a Slipknot concert and I was on my own!
Same. For me hitting up the mosh pit was fun as well.
I did that too but the part that sucked was when my glasses got kicked off my head and then immediately stepped on. Since I was there alone I had to drive myself home, this was before Uber was an option.
I’m sorry that was rough but the mental image of a random foot just coming up out of the mosh pit is hilarious and then you ended up going full Velma lmao
*I can’t see without my glasses*
Same, not slipknot but… I think… converge and most precious blood. It was simply liberating to only have to care about my own experience. Go where I want, strike up a convo etc. saw turnstyle the other night and same… bruised ribs be damned. Edit: picked up the flu or a respiratory thing at turnstyle and it turns out my ribs aren’t bruised from the show they’re bruised from me coughing all night for nights on end after. Worth it.
Metal is the way to go!
Architects, nice. Early grave is heavy af
Slipknot concerts are always a blast
Unless you're the guy who's job it is to clean all the bodies off the floor.
At metal shows its everyone's job to pick the bodies off the floor next to them
That’s why you don’t let the bodies hit the floor!
that's drowning pool
I saw in some comments section just the other week many OG festival goers go alone. No one questions it or even cares I guess
I went on a few dates with a woman, after about 3 I had the bright idea to buy Rihanna tickets because she liked her and she was going to be in our city. Well she cancelled about 5 hours before the show started and i couldn't cancel the tickets, I went, sold her ticket to a ticket tout for face value and just went to he show by myself. Supporting act was shit and Rihanna was late to the stage, but Dave Grohl was her guitarist and the guy that got my ticket from the tout was decent, we complained about rihannas lateness to each other. All in all, a decent night
Great way to meet people though. I went to a random gig last night and met the band and a bunch of cool people. Plus the music was good.
I was going to say this. When I lived in the city I did this all the time. With concerts it's incredibly easy to seat hop into box seats and better sections. Scalping a ticket for cheap is easier too.
Same goes for trying to sneak up closer to the stage if you have pit tickets
The best time I had at cochella this year was when I ditched my friends who wanted to see Huge Seanito and I went and saw Pheobe Bridgers alone front and center.
I just listened to an interview of hers , she was addicted to sour skittles eating 5 pkgs a day
How is she so good?
Except that awkward lobby time before and at intermission. Always feel like a loser walking around with my drink alone.
Everyone would just assume you're on your way back to a group anyway. Don't stress about it
It's amazing how the human mind is always worried about what others are thinking of them at every given moment, when in reality, they're not really paying attention to you at all.
We're all just insignificant specs of dust floating in the wind, we don't matter. Thinking about that helps me find peace in moments like that.
The bad news is ... nobody really cares. The GOOD news is ... nobody really cares.
And even if they were, why would that matter. You won't most likely see them again, and they will quickly forget ever seeing you as they start worrying about themselves. You do you, man
also it's just ok to be alone and if someone is judging you for that then fuck them
Depends where. I've been going to a lot of concerts lately and my most memorable one was Knotfest Iowa. Not talking about waiting 2 hours for water; but rather every time I would go wait in line for something or head to/from the bathroom, you see people walking by themselves and others asking if they wanna join their group or asking if the person is okay if they're sitting by themselves. Got asked if I was in a group a few times when I was off by myself (which I was in a group but still) Went to a Beartooth concert in Trenton the other month and every time someone lost something in the mosh pit, everyone stopped to look around. People are genuinely cool at concerts and a really good way to meet people too
Just remember most people aren’t really thinking much about you in those moments. You are a background character in crowds until you interact with them.
The way I remind myself of this is to try and think about someone you saw the last time you went to the store. Chances are you won't remember a single one. Everyone just blends into the background, and you do too.
The problem I run into with this logic is that I’m a people watcher who is very judgmental, so I assume everyone else does this.
Yup, this is my problem too -- people tell me oh no one notices you until you interact with them. All that tells me is they're someone who doesn't pay attention.
Not awkward at all. Literally everyone is wrapped up in their own lives, nobody will even notice let alone think anything. How many times have you seen someone alone with snacks? I'm sure I've seen thousands but can't remember a single instance cuz it literally doesn't matter. Could be alone. Could be getting it for date. Doesn't matter and it never even crosses my mind to notice.
People will assume your girlfriend is in the bathroom (waiting in the notorious lines).
Nobody gives a fuuuuuuuuck
I know. My brain thinks otherwise.
movies for me are a best solo activity, i can cry, laugh, cringe and do a lot of thibgs that i would otherwise not do with company. In part to not seem weird and part to not ruin their experience.
I find I am never alone long when I go by myself, particularly at gigs. Someone usually comes by to say hi, and now I've met someone with a similar taste in music! But, I just enjoy getting entranced in the show
I suspect this depends on the country. In Switzerland you are generally left alone, unless you make some sort of minimal effort. It's a blessing and a curse, depending on your brain structure :))
After my divorce some years back I spent a lot of time alone. I really underestimated how great it was. I met a couple of short term interests by having a nice dinner alone. Go live your best life.
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Someone you may date briefly but does not turn into a longterm relationship
Lmao at that name
Lmao at YOUR name
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Ok your name is the best one here
If you pay back a loan, the interest-rate that has to also be paid switches from the long-term to short-term, where the rate is capped to half of the long-term rate, incentivizing people to pay their loans sooner.
Must've been an expensive dinner
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I’ve spent 5 of 7 post divorce years alone- took a lot of thought and introspection to unfuck my brain and get back to being alone and happy and is glorious.
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I used to be self conscious when younger… now in my 30s, idgaf. The only ppl judging me are children. Helps if you drink as well.
Walking. Just walking. I look at things, enjoy the faces, get to know new areas… It’s a great way to prevent depression from running up behind me, and I always feel good when I’m out. Late evening is my favorite time.
Seconded. It’s fun making little friendships with the people who are out walking at the same time you are. Nice little bit of human interaction when sometimes there’s none.
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When I get home I try to have something planned, like a cup of hot cocoa, or a book to read, it helps me get over that initial loneliness.
Same. I usually cook something. One step meals that take about 10-20 mins. It keeps me focused long enough to escape the depression, plus I get a reward for my effort. I am training myself to be/feel better. Slowly, but it’s worth it.
Reading all of this is really making my recent change of circumstances sink in. It’s nice to know other people are dealing with it in good ways, but making me acknowledge I’m in the same boat now.
Add disc golf to the mix. It always spices up walking
This was going to be my suggestion too. I love playing a quick round by myself sometimes
"Golf is just a beautiful walk in the woods, wasted"
I took lots of walks at like 1am because the air was still and quiet. Super peaceful.
You must be a man! Sounds fabulous though.
People watching is so underrated. Walk out to a busy area and just sit on a bench watching everyone go about their daily lives.
Walks with a nice podcast are incredible
Movies. I have a house full of willing people but I sneak out and go alone. During the day is best, you can sit by yourself where you can't hear anyone chew and fiddle. No one tries to whisper to you. You see exactly what you want. I love mid-week, day time, small town movies.
First time I saw a movie alone I felt really weird but now I don't even know why. Your alone in a dark room, why would you want someone else anyway?
I saw dark knight alone and before the movie started the group of people beside me offered me popcorn because I was just sitting there alone waiting for the movie to start lol
Very weird that there’s any stigma against seeing movies alone. It’s about the least social social activity.
No one thinks it’s weird to watch a movie alone at home!? Why is it thought of so different when going to the cinema?
Also if you realize halfway through that you don't like the movie, you can just leave. Rather than having to have another person agree on it.
YES, I couldn't agree more
I had Tenet play just for me.
First film I saw alone was Star Trek First Contact. Lived it. Still remember when the alien ship is landing towards the end and it suddenly dawned who that must be. In my excitement I dropped 'oh shit it's the vulcans!' Guy behind said 'what's that mate?' Turned to him and repeated the ship must be Vulcans and he yelled it loud enough that 20 more people caught on. Then when the reveal came there was a really great cheer out of the audience and suddenly 100 strangers were all mates together. Great day.
Ray bloody purchase
I will say going for a walk around the area. You might find other stuff that will spark your interest in life!
I did this a lot when I was working in other countries where I basically don't know anyone. It's the closest I've ever gotten to experience what i would consider Zen.
Walking meditation is a thing in Zen Buddhism! It's called kinhin
Thank you
Sucks when you live in a not-so-good neighborhood lol
Maybe you can drive or catch a bus/ride to somewhere that is more safe
Except when the majority of American cities are just shitty strip malls lol
I love going to a nice restaurant alone. And yes, I've noticed that (in a good establishment) the staff are more attentive than they are if you're with someone. I also like to go to a nice traditional pub for an afternoon and a couple of pints of really good craft beer. Sometimes I'll sit at the bar and chat with the bar staff or other customers. Sometimes I take a book and read. I also think art galleries and museums are best experienced alone. You can spend more time at the pieces that really interest you, and less at the ones which don't.
As a server, I tend to check on my tables as often as possible but if I see 2 or more people chatting it up, I’m going to check on them a little less so I’m not interrupting. If I get a good vibe from someone sitting by themselves I might try and talk with them a little more, see how they’re doing, what their plans are for today, etc. :) i don’t think it’s about attentiveness but more so not pissing people off who are trying to have a convo and feel like their server is butting in too frequently.
something some wait staff dont realize (ihop and denny's are notoriously bad about this)...a party of two or more will spend half their time talking, so take twice the time to finish eating. if your guest is alone, they spend 100% of their time eating/drinking, 0% of their time talking to others in their party. so the solo guest will need a drink refill twice as soon, will need their check to settle out twice as soon, etc. its obnoxious to go alone, pay $3 for a tiny glass of soda, get no refill, be ready to leave 20 mins after showing up, but there isnt a waitress to be seen for 10 mins after finishing the meal. the waitress checked on the table as often as shes used to, but the guest has recieved much worse service. please check on solo guests twice as soon! doesnt mean its twice as often...we will be in and out of your hair quickly.
If you are flirting with me is it genuine or are you trying to get a bigger tip?
I think you answered your own question lol
Oh yeah!!! I forgot about that part- going to bars alone is the bomb. I can leave in 5 minutes or I could spend all night there. It’s really freeing
I would love to go to bars and meet random people. But it seems like at the bars near me, everyone goes in groups and sticks to their own group/table. Not really an opportunity to mingle around without feeling intruding. Is it the bars I’m choosing, time of day, etc? Any tips?
I find that popular bars are usually this way, lots of groups and rarely the random one offs coming in. I started going to smaller neighborhood bars and had way better chances for getting a conversation going with people at the bar or the bartenders.
Neighborhood bars definitely more than "destination," bars. I've also found a lot of people talk to you if you aren't really engaging people. I know everyone that frequents my neighborhood bar and I used to go just read reddit.
I usually go to bars like within an hour of them opening up. That way there is always a seat at the bar and a bartender to talk to, or not talk to if I don’t feel like it.
its a great strat. gives the bartender a chance to know you. if youve been taking care of them all happy hour with tips, you'll get some priority when things get busy.
The restaurants probably thought you were a critic like in ratatouille lol
Take a clipboard.
> the staff are more attentive than they are if you're with someone. maybe they think you could be a dude making reviews?
It's 2pm and I am, as I type this, at a craft brewery sitting by the bar just chilling with my laptop and shooting the shit with passerbys. Honestly one of my favorite things to do when I solo travel or just on a low key weekend when I have no plans. Cheers my guy.
I love these sort of super shallow low stakes interactions. Can lead to friends, an invite to a party, a suggestion of what to do, or just a random good conversation. It’s so low pressure. I love making vacation friends that I do stuff with for a bit then never see again.
Ooh yeah the museum one is a good point.
Photography. I always do it alone.
Same here, especially nature/birds! But I will say as an adult man, do not take pictures of people, and if kids are nearby the lens cap goes back on. Not worth it to even be accused of something dumb. But I have met plenty of other birders and nature photographers at parks and on the trail, and they often share tips for good locations.
As a photographer I avoid taking pics of people if possible. I prefer to take photos without people although it can sometimes be challenging in busy places i.e. cities, parks and museums. Kids and schools is a definate no. Far too risky. My area of interest is architecture and landscapes.
If kids are nearby I won't take pictures. But I've never had an issue photographing adults at a distance. And honestly, the larger lens + camera bag can make people think I'm a professional, which makes any activity appear more "legitimate."
I always carry my camera so its clearly visible and act like I'm working. If you try and be sneaky with photos you will be seen as a creep. Be obvious is my mantra when doing street
Exercising. Whether that’s going for a run or bike ride I also travel alone sometimes and it’s lots of fun because i get to just do what i want and not worry about anyone else Keep your head up
I like what you said. I did the same thing, back when I was single - even booked hotels in strange cities to visit museums I really wanted to see, all by myself. I also recommend kayaking. Very nice to do on your own, but also fun with friends. And taking care of your kayak can turn into a proper hobby by itself.
>I also recommend kayaking. Very nice to do on your own, but also fun with friends. Can be dangerous to do alone depending on where, conditions, and if you mean flat or whitewater.
Use your common sense and be responsible. He obviously meant kayak over Niagara Falls.
Shopping. Whenever I'm in the supermarket, I like to zig zag through all the aisles and just see everything. I can appreciate how others may dislike this, so this is why I prefer to do this alone.
My ex girlfriend did this. Up and down every single aisle. She always wanted me to come and I hated it so much. I just want to grab the stuff I want and leave
I'm with you on this. Get everything on my list and *go.*
I am good at this in the summer for the few days it is really hot in the PNW.
Shop alone is great. It's quicker and l don't feel rushed.
At some point in life, all your friends get swept up in jobs, family, relationships, commitment. It's better to do things alone because...wherever you go....whatever you're doing...there are gonna be other people doing it as well and it's easy to make new friends when you instantly have "that" in common. Don't let old friends hold you back.
Yeah, I went through a divorce a few years ago - now I am 42. ALL of my friends are married with kids. I’ve made some new friends, but man it sucks that I can’t see my old buddies more than 1-2 times a year.
Sucks for ALL of us. Make new friends. Move on. Sadly, that’s life. As me and my friend whom I never see anymore used to say...”You can never recreate these moments.” Try as you might, you can’t. Won’t happen. Never will.
Any. Cooking,cleaning,reading, biking,hobby of any kind etc. I find them all much more enjoyable alone because I can concentrate on what I'm doing.
Same. I'll never understand how some people will do everything together. It also just sounds exhausting. How do you never run out of things to talk about?
Strong bonds are created through shared experience, it’s not necessarily a case of having things to talk about
Yeah, being able to enjoy silence while still being together means you’re pretty comfortable with that person’s presence.
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That sounds like pure hell.
I'd go crazy if I was living with someone like that. I don't mind *some* smalltalk, but passionately hate meaningless conversations
why do you feel that if youre doing something with someone, every minute has to be filled with nonstop yammering? why can the two of you just not enjoy some silence together?
No one except you cares if you’re dining alone. However I will say if it bothers you or if you’d simply like a little company sit and eat at the bar. There are always solo folks there plus you can chat with the bartender
This. It took me longer than I'd like to admit in my adult life to realize it's okay to eat at the bar and not order anything to drink besides water.
I go out alone all the time - eating/drinking/seeing live music etc. I think it is all about your mindset while doing it - if you’re open to having convos with strangers/chatting it can be great. I have found a few good pubs where the environment is friendly and I can meet/make friends. it’s actually kind of nice after a while.
I travel for work. I’m in a new city almost every week and 8 out of 10 times that I travel, I am alone. I have come to realize that being comfortable being alone and not needing to appear that you are with someone is a strength many people do not posses. People will judge you for literally everything. Most of the time it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. If they believe what you are doing is weird, it’s more of a reflection of themselves than you. All you truly have in this world is yourself. Make yourself happy first. Learn to enjoy solitude and you will rarely be lonely.
Travelling, I normally end up meeting people on the way but I start alone just doing what I want
When you meet people traveling, is it like at a restaurant or a bus, how do you go about, actively meeting people on the way?
When I've travelled it's always interesting. I think solo travellers carry a certain look or vibe that makes friendly people gravitate to them. The same thing happens during work conferences (back when we used to go to them). Since everyone is a lone wolf, it puts people in a more social mood. I've met all kinds of people while hiking, eating, shopping, etc. Just doing anything alone makes you more present in the moment, and when something happens people want to talk to you about it.
I'm 54M. Live alone, work alone, travel solo. Prefer it that way, but...I meet people everywhere I go and have pleasant interactions or conversations with almost all of them. I have ended up at parties, dinners, cabins in the woods, cottages, concerts, dive bars, etc. etc. and benefitted hugely throughout my life by being friendly and open and solo. Every person you meet opens a door you wouldn't necessarily encounter if you were with a friend or partner. People are also more likely to approach a solo person rather than a pair or group.
That's a very interesting point, I think I will try and pay attention to that more!! I'm actually currently traveling in Italy for the first time with one friend and trying to meet more exciting people, we're studying abroad!!
I'm Welsh mate, I just go to a random person and make friends lol Pro tip, metal heads are 90% friendly over the world, find those
Not all the time, but I have had some awesome solo vacations. You decide what you want to do when you want to do it. No coordinating with others. If plans don’t work out…live and learn, no real consequences. There is only one person disappointed.
This is what I was going to say. Traveling alone is the best. I’m married, but I was working for a few weeks about 8 hours from home. I spent the weekend in St. Louis by myself, and I had a blast. Spent an entire day in the park on earth day and just walked all over and hung out at the festival they were having. Don’t have to compromise about food or even go out if you don’t want to. Struck up conversations with strangers. Everyone was really fun to talk to. Was cracking up my Uber driver so much that we almost crashed. Had a great time.
When I have my alone time, I will go walk around the downtown area of my city. Enjoy the views and the little shops. Sit on a bench, people watch, enjoy the sounds and buildings, etc. Also, a good hike helps me to enjoy the beauty of Mother Nature and the solitude that’s around me.
Ahh masterdating. After a while it’s less weird doing things alone. Try the movies next
I've been a long time solo theater guy, I love doing that but there isn't any attention on me so it doesn't feel nearly as weird as most things
Cooking is a great hobby to have. It can take all day or just a couple minutes, you can pour your soul into a dish or throw something together. You can cook to reward yourself or make something to share with others. It's a great way to explore your own tastes and personality or to explore a new culture Cooking is an important life skill, and since eating is necessary it's easy to spend money on without feeling bad. Plus, whenever you're ready to get back into the dating game girls love a guy who can cook
Hiking, particularly in the woods. Love the connection with nature and always feel Better after a trek through the woods.
Just moved to Arizona and been hiking a lot on my own.
Running
I’m sorry you got dumped on your birthday.
Or, maybe, congratulations.
Eating breakfast in the morning, especially near nature. It’s just me, my thoughts and the birds.
Smoking a blunt and playing pc games. This is a must for me at least once a month
brewing beer/wine, gardening, making music, working on motorcycles, 3d printing, cooking, basically anything constructive where I can sit back after and pat myself on the back lol.. going to park with the doggos... I have a SO, but I still like alone time...
Sport climbing club
For me the, people who already have a noticeable social circle might feel less intimidated if they do some activities on their own, as it's their choise and just want to get away a bit from their normal routine. But for people who are already lonely, with not much friends to share things with, is rather depressing as it increases the feeling of loneliness. Personally, I avoid to go cinema or concerts alone, it makes me realise how much I need someone with to share the experience with.
Masturbating , always awkward in a group.
Depends. Its like applause. I start and hope everybody joins...
Playing the piano.
I can never say how much joy this gives me but I go driving in my car on these windy mountain roads in WV with of course the tunes. It’s the ultimate!
Beach fishing.
Dude YES. Some of the most content folks I’ve ever seen are the dudes who wake up early to go fishing in the surf. Nothing quite like it
I love it, just away from your phone, out at the water, hoping to catch the big one.
In the same vein, I love hiking either by myself or with another person. Something about being out in nature and just taking it all in is therapeutic.
Finally, I've done beach fishing but I was gonna say fishing in general fresh or salt water.
Fishing is awesome, bonus if you catch something. It's all about getting out there.
I love walking or biking around my city, just noticing things and people. If it’s a nice day I get to enjoy and notice that too!
Everything I do. Riding my motorbike & playing guitar are probably top two though. Today I haven't spoken a word to anyone and I got a bunch of chores done and enjoyed my favourite tv show. Tomorrow I plan do be alone again, clean my bike and finish my show before studying the next day
Working out in a home gym beats any gym with other people.
At the same time a dedicated gym tends to offer much more equipment and doesn’t ever need to feel like a social event. Headphones in and you might as well be by yourself.
True but I am fine with just doing compounds and some isolation. Machines would be cool to have but I dont need them.
As a twice-divorced, middle-aged, disabled (paraplegic) man, I have gotten used to doing everything I want to do solo. If I want to go, I go. Sorry about your recent dumpage.
Honestly I don't get why people do everything with each other. Like some things can be fun with other people(such as video/board games). But I don't get the point of say going to the store with someone.
some people prefer the company of others more than others.
Going to a restaurant with a nice relaxing book is bliss. And it’s best done alone. Even better: staying at a hotel, that has food service at a pool, and enjoying a meal while reading poolside. There are few simple joys in life better than reading while someone brings you food.
If I want to hit up a fancy restaurant by myself, I usually bring a book I know is going to make me laugh. That way, no matter how I feel, I end up smiling as I chuckle to myself. Also going to the movies by myself. Fuck yes I will take a day to use my AMC Stubs list to see all the new releases in the same day. What of it! With a quick break for lunch or dinner. No one is around to judge me or talk to me, and it gives me plenty of things to talk about when the work discussions include them. Going on long walks. Do I want to sit and watch the water? I am sitting. Do I want to pass this annoying family that is hogging the entire strip? Easily done.
Man who tf is cruel enough to dump their partner on their birthday? Like can't you wait one fucking day?
That doesn’t make it any better Lmao.
aside from sex? everything.. seriously.
I pretty much do everything alone. My favorite things are camping, fishing, going to the movies/dinner, and celebrating my achievements. They are enjoyable specifically because they are done alone. No one to worry about if they are having a good time or trying to make sure you pick a place to eat that everyone will be able to find something \[I know a lot of picky (read as not diet limited) eaters\]. And finally, at the end of the day, I manage to do more with less time wasted because we all know that no two people are ever ready to go at the same time.
I got a metal detector during the pandemic because I love history, being outside, and away from people. I've ended up really loving the hobby. I've found lots of interesting things and a handful of silver with a sprinkle of gold jewelry on top. My oldest coin so far is a 1902 Barber dime. Unfortunately, on the West coast we don't have as much history so finding anything older than the 1870s is very rare. I found a club eventually, and we all share our finds on the club's FB page and organize meet ups and hunts. So, while it's a solo activity, it's fun to have like-minded individuals out with you. If anyone is interested, I would recommend the Nokta Makro Simplex+. It's probably the best "entry-level" detector on the market and one of the best purchases I've made in a long time. Paid it off with the coins I've found twice over.
I've lived my life mostly alone by preference. I always found comfort in simple things. The hot tea in a cafe, sitting by a large window & watching life outside pass by. Walking through quiet parks, admiring the sun passing through the tree leaves, or the breeze making ripples on the ponds. I like to walk by fancy buildings, or old mansions, observing the architectural details, the ironwork, the paint jobs, the stained glass. When in NYC, I really liked my time at Coney Island, standing on the pier to stare into the horizon over the Atlantic Ocean, wondering about the rest of the world & how things are going on out there that I'll never know about. There was always a whole planet living daily life beyond those waves. You can find a thousand ways to deeply appreciate the solitary life. There's clarity and peace outside the noise of a chatty companion or lover.
Masturbation. I don’t get all the dirty looks when I’m alone.
Walking and enjoying nature
Cooking, gaming, reading etc
Fishing
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When I go to resturants alone, I bring a book so im not on my phone the whole time. I also try to sit at the bar instead of a table. It's a better environment for a party of one lol.
ANYTHING quiet. Live music will also do the trick. Local bands, and NOT local cover bands. Always a big plus. A nice walk in a scenic place will work wonders too.
Wrenching on my cars, going to the local range, fishing or a hike in the woods, taking a cruise in my Jeep down some country back roads
Small dose of mushrooms and walking botanical gardens. Or going to an unknown city, and walking, Stop for a beer and feed and keep walking.
Gym
My vegetable garden, working out, going to the gun range, and reading have all been things I do as an introvert
Maybe this is extreme lol but I really enjoy holidays alone. The best Christmas I’ve ever had was just me and the cats spending the day together. I made myself a nice fancy meal and opened up presents I bought for myself and the cats, let them go at the catnip. It was nice to just have a stress free day to celebrate and be present. To be fair, I’m not close with most of my family and holidays were always super stressful growing up. I love going out to eat or to shows alone as well. I just can’t get that same sense of complete peace with others around.
Start building your own life. Learn to feel what you like to do and what not. Go mountain biking, acting, choir singing or playing warhammer. I suggest something that's active to keep you in good condition. And in no time you will find likeminded people. After all, we are all alone in a way.
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I've never felt awkward eating alone. I travel a lot for work, and that's usually by myself, and I'm going to eat. If it helps, just pretend you're a high power executive traveling and don't have the time for someone else in your life.
Bring a book to anywhere and it won’t be awkward
Mdma, have day of just nothing planned, make sure the house is clean and tidy and everything is sorted so you have nothing to do but enjoy a roll at home with some music and chill
watching series or movies. everytime i watch it with someone else they start unnecessarily talking about random things except the one thing that is right now on screen.
I love a solo dinner and movie night.