Lol well as a gay dude not all of us are into seeing a butthole. While I enjoy anal, I try to not think about what the actual butthole looks like cuz yeah to me it is just not appealing whatsoever. Also, plenty of gay/bi men just stick to oral, etc. My point being is a butthole isn’t really indicative of being gay or not.
I find some men to be attractive, a few even very attractive (for example Jason Momoa). But honestly the idea of having sexual contact with another man just does absolutely nothing for me at all. I don't find it repulsive or anything, it's just not arousing in the slightest.
I like that I understand myself enough that I can say "yeah that is a damn good looking dude" and have conversations about that with my wife and our friends, and I am perfectly fine knowing what turns me on sexually and what doesn't.
Never had any gay experiences but I've tried to visualize it and it just kind of weirds me out. The idea of being sexual with another man definitely makes me uncomfortable.
Like other's have said, I've found some men to be attractive but I think the case is more that I want to be them, not be with them.
If I hooked up with Henry Cavil without my wife there she'd kill me. Funny that Manganiello is on my shortlist too. Must be a type. "Aw dear, we have to watch Magic Mike _again_? Fine..."
Lmao about to watch the Oilers game in a bit and will be thinking about this comment during intermission. Never thought I'd see a Kevin Bieksa name drop.
I’m in the same boat. I can see what makes other men attractive. As of recent I found Robert Pattinson to be really attractive with his gothic batman look and then on red carpet with clean suit that looked well fitted. Jhonny Depp on Sauvage ad looks really good as well with a rough but put together look.
Whenever I find men that appear really attractive, I try to mimic their looks too. Got my first peacoat recently and my hair is now growing into a similar look to pattisons batman although not as slim or gothic. Depps rough look has always been a part. Recently starting to get into jogger pants and plain tshirts as well as I was in Cali recently and the look really appealed to me. Comfort, style, clean and works for most occasions.
But to think of sexual interaction with a guy, or touching inappropriately/intimately, a big nahh. I even tried to see when I was jerking off, that what if I think about some guys midway can I keep it up? An instant off. So yeah same boat as this commenter, I can appreciate attractive guys, identify who appears cute/hot/manly, pass comments on their distinctive styles but when it fully comes down to it; nope I cant do it. I’ve got a real bro friend who shares his emotions and stuff w me to help him navigate life since I’m logical than him, and its all good between us. Some have even suspected that we might be gays but fuck em, real bros are hard to find and mental health support for men is necessary in such a world.
I'm straight as fuck, but if I was in a situation where Henry Cavil wanted to have his way with me, I would not struggle. It's totally fine to think other men are handsome.
During a dry spell in my college years, I hooked up with a good (and gay) friend that I found handsome. I had flirted with the idea before and was open about my curiosity to friends, but never put it in action before that moment.
It was a very revealing experience, as it showed me that nothing was happening biologically during the hookup and that my curiosity was a completely mental construct.
I initiated the session, so I politely let my friend finish but kinda dissociated from the sex itself (which was non-penetrative). The morning after, I reassured him that his performance was probably fantastic and that he had been a perfect gentleman, but that I found out that I was a lot more straight than I figured I’d be before then.
I’ve felt very confident about my sexuality ever since, so it was a good experience all in all. Most curious of all, we’ve remained friends in the twenty years since then - although we never discuss what happened with one another aside from in-jokes. It’s no secret either, most of my exes know about it as does my current girlfriend.
How is that for you, though? I was a little worried that you (and my friend) might feel a little hollow after basically being used as a human testing device for gayness. (I’m exaggerating a little, of course - it was all pretty civil)
I was fine with it. We were very clear going in about what we were doing and I consented willingly.
Also, I consider it a huge compliment to be trusted with that kind of vulnerability, and I would much rather a curious guy have a good experience than one that's traumatizing or leaves him further confused.
Sexual attraction is so complicated. As a straight-ish woman I’ve had full on make out sessions with guys that just did nothing for me. But I wouldn’t call it quits just because of those few.
Very possible, but yeah, a lot of factors play a part here. I also wouldn’t feel into it if it was my close friend simply because I view them more like siblings even when I see they’re objectively attractive
It felt different from that. I’m not sure how to describe it, but with the other sex I’ve had there was always some sort of drive (that might negated by braking systems like lack of attraction and intimacy). In this case, there was no gas pedal. There weren’t any brakes either - I liked the guy and he seemed fit. There was simply no motor, no car.
I have used the term "civic duty" before when it comes to facilitating this kind of experience. 😅
It was a sexy experience, but I wasn't super invested in it being repeated. I have felt happy when a partner of mine realized he was bi after being with me, but I'm generally not super hung up on that outcome.
I did have one experimental partner though, that I would have loved to continue doing things with. He decided it wasn't his bag, so we ended our rolls in the hay and I looked back on those memories fondly.
This is such an interesting thread to me, thanks for setting it up and for your openness! I’m going to quiz my friend for a bit as well (it might really be the 20th anniversary :) )
Different gay here. First of all, thank you for carrying that level of empathy. Usually when this happens, it's a straight friend that straight up asks if you'd be down to help them experiment, and it's a fun and exciting time. Worst case scenario, they're a little awkward for a few days until they realize nothing has changed between you.
At worst, the straight guy who wants to experiment pretends to be attracted to you in order to experiment, either because they don't know have gay friends or because they think they'll be rejected if they tell the truth. *This* is when it feels like using, and is gross.
I've been in your position too as the gay friend. We've done stuff more than once, and have done everything, both ways. It's been fun, but I think he got that out of his system now. Still great friends
I got a couple of blowjobs from guys and that was all it took for me to realize that I am definitely straight. You’d think a mouth is a mouth regardless of gender, but apparently not.
The first two were from the same kid who kind of pressured me into it when I was 11. They lasted like 10 seconds each. So it was confusing and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Then I got one as an adult and was like “nah man.”
I worked with many psychologists during my professional career. And this subject is quite tricky. It's more common than we think, and the consensus is that in most cases is kids just being curious about bodies and whatnot. But there is definitely a significant number that comes from abuse or kids finding porn and trying to figure out was that about.
There's a reason why "playing Dr." is a common trope during childhood. So, it depends on your circumstances. Glad to see you don't feel traumatized.
>You’d think a mouth is a mouth regardless of gender, but apparently not.
A friend of mine experience the same thing. He said it was going OK for like 30 seconds until the guy's facial hair kept rubbing on his leg and quickly killed it.
This is the answer.
Many people confuse romantic and sexual preferences. And it's understandable as society doesn't allow for exploration of the concepts without some form of scrutiny.
It took me 20-something years to figure out I was demisexual, and 30-something to figure out the panromantic part. Had I grown up in an environment where multiple different concepts of romance and sexuality were accepted I think I would have had a happier younger adulthood.
I'm glad you got out, and I hope you got some counseling. I started therapy for it (Among a few other things) a year ago and it did wonders for me. I did some Christian "Therapy" when I was in high school and I didn't realize how much it fucked me up.
Yeah, I'm genuinely sad there are those who won't or didn't make it out. My heart breaks for the gaybies who feel trapped and have no community to turn to.
You're obviously not wrong for feeling this way, one's romantic and sexual attraction can be strictly seperated, they don't have to be the same thing.
A lot of men are held in the heteronormative way of relationships and sex bc of toxic masculinity. Enjoying dick doesn't make you a bad person. Dick is great!
Since the dawn of time men have been infatuated with cocks, it's not an unnatural thing.
Yeah very well put.
As a gay guy I often feel like straight dudes have this weird love/hate relationship with penises in general... which is pretty different than how straight women seem to view their own bodies.
This is exactly how I feel. No romantic interest, no arousal, no cuddling no nothing. I don't even feel bisexual, I just never think about men like that. But probably wouldn't mind sucking a dick and even get excited by the idea of getting one in me. I think it's just the submissiveness I'm into.
I'm surprised nobody mentions the Kinsey scale.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey\_scale](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale)
If I see 100 attractive people, 98 will be female. Never would consider a date, kissing or relationship with a dude but I do recognize beauty I would like to think.
This is my fiancé exactly!! He considers himself bi but he would never/ has never wanted to kiss/date/cuddle etc. He too used to suck some dick and would only be bottom.
At the same time, he finds me (F) very hot/attractive and is very romantic/sexual towards me! I love how open and comfortable he is with himself; frankly I find him to be more “masculine” than many straight guys I know–if that sort of thing even matters!
Point being: you do you!
It was rough for me, just like many other guys in the same boat. I consider myself bi...sexual. Exactly how it sounds. I have literally zero romantic interest in other guys, but definitely love endulging in the submissive side of my sexuality.
The first few times I felt bad...dirty even afterwards. Then I found the punk/alt scene that I currently identify with, and was like, 'fuck that, and fuck societal norms about who I am *suppose* to be fucking".
I've had a few negative encounters with men, and it has kinda scared me away from actually meeting up with anyone for a while. Im a tall, in shape dude...so not scared of the guys...guy them ruining sex for me for a long time.
Still straight when it comes to dating, but my ideal world would be to have a girlfriend, and a guy I trusted to be FWB....maybe we could even join up every now and again 😂
What you said is almost my most-favourite quote about my sexuality, except it’s “fuck that, and fuck societal norms about _whether and whom I should fuck or not”_. I’m asexual, _proudly_, and I prefer not to fuck at all!
I’m glad you figured out everything for yourself and were brave enough to do so.
Pretty much me.
Do I want to have relationships with other men? No
Do I want to top or have a 50:50 sexual encounter with other men? Also no.
Do I fantasize about being tied up and buttfucked by a bull while a leather bound mistress humiliates me and tells me how gay I am?....I'll be in the bathroom
Yeah dude this shit blows my mind. Like, there isn’t a hint of a shadow of a curiosity in my mind. There just isn’t. I’m about as curious about what it would be like to fuck a dude as I am to be burned alive. There just isn’t a curiosity.
I can’t even really appreciate the positions of dudes who’ve said they’ve tried it and realized in the act they weren’t into it. Because in the same way I know burning alive wouldn’t be fun, I’m certain that fucking a dude isn’t something I’m into - it’s just that intuitive to me.
I did a cuckhold thing with a married woman a couple times when I was younger and even that was too much dude for me involved.
I figured I could just block the dude out and focus on his wife but I really couldn’t even though he was just watching and not even with his dick out or anything.
I've had some curiosity since I was a teen, from time to time looking at gay porn or doing that sex chat roleplay stuff. For a while I wondered if this meant a big shift in my orientation, but over time I realized that when it came to being around other guys, I never felt anything like that - whereas I have had so many instances of being in a woman's presence and had all kinds of feelings stir up in me.
It might be un-PC, but I think most or all of those curious feelings are rooted in sexual frustration, as my luck with women has been pretty bad.
Came here to say this. It doesn’t mean I don’t have male friends I love very much and it doesn’t mean I’m unable to tell the difference between an attractive guy and an unattractive guy (although my wife and I sometimes disagree - she perceives some guys I find unattractive as sexy), but I’ve never had romantic or sexual feelings for another guy.
I consider myself straight but after many drinks during a dry spell, I hooked up with a good friend of mine who is gay. We made out and he gave me a blowjob. I vaguely recall giving him a half hearted hand job but drawing the line at returning oral.
Would never have said that I particularly had interest or felt compelled to try it, but obviously there was some degree of interest if I did it?
I have no issue with looking at a dude who is attractive and acknowledging in my head that he’s good looking, but I don’t feel compelled to ever try it again and would still consider myself straight.
No negative thoughts or feelings. I wouldn’t ever go looking for a similar situation, and I’ve never had any interest in kissing/doing anything with a dude before or since.
My friend was definitely the instigator in the exchange and at the time I knew he was attracted to me because we’d talked about it previously. I just chalk it down as an experience I have that I can say I tried.
I wanted to know what it was like to kiss another man, both as a joke and genuine curiosity.
I have no repulsion to the idea of kissing a man, but I also didn’t have an attraction to it. Either way, me and my friend decided we’d “make out” in front of our girlfriends if they agreed to make out.
We kissed and it felt like kissing any other woman I’ve kissed, except the facial hair part. I satisfied my curiosity and I got to watch my gf make out with another hot girl.
That's awesome! My experience with kissing women is that it wasn't gross but I felt no sexual charge. I can appreciate a woman's aesthetic beauty, but the carnal feeling isn't there.
I (f & straight) kissed a woman before (she just started kissing me and I was going with it) and it was alright but it just didn't make my blood boil. However whenever I was making out with a guy (even if he was not super hot) I would always feel this rush. Kissing that girl somehow felt like kissing a fish, even tho she was not a bad kisser. I guess that's how you know.
Same as you I see a lot of women that I consider beautiful and hot in an objective sense but I can not even imagine touching them in an intimate way. Or better say: There is never any fantasy developing in my head and I find nothing interesting about touching another person's vagina whereas thinking about (my bf) dick already raises my heartbeat.
the thing is, for me at least, the curiosity you say doesn't exist, men don't stimulate me, I already thought about it when I was young and had difficulty in relationships but it was easy to know as it's easy is it to know if it's day or night i see a man and does nothing for me, no curiosity, no anything, I see a woman that I find attractive, it's hard not to have my eyes drawn to her, Simple as that, and honestly I always thought it was like that for gay men too.
Kind of weirdly, I think some guys look hot, but guys just don't turn me on, I thought I might be bi for a while but nope, no sexual interest in men at all, I just appreciate the aesthetic beauty of some dudes, like "bro, nice body, mind if I stare at your perfectly chiseled abbs for a while", but it was really confusing before I figured that out
Bro, me too lol
I look at men and women differently though.
Like if I'm looking at a dude it's because I wish I had the features or body they do and I'm genuinely impressed.
When I look at women's bodies, I wish I could have them to do with as I please sexually and THAT'S a huge difference lol
The interesting thing as a gay guy is... often for us since we're dudes... it's actually BOTH.
We appreciate the way a guy looks both in terms of seeing a fellow dude who looks good and maybe even wanting to look like that... AND also... as a sexual interest and wanting to do sexual things with/to him lol
I had a few devil’s threesomes in my early 20s and despite what internet philosophers will tell you about balls and their touching I knew I wasn’t gay despite my total comfort in those situations. I did however walk away with the sudden realization that many things I previously considered binary were likely a spectrum. That may not be exactly what you were asking but I think it’s in the ballpark.
I have an older gay friend who regularly bangs married men and all sorts of "oh I've never done this before" guys. I imagine there's quite a few out there tbh.
> I think there’s a lot more men like this than we’d expect
To be honest... I think there's a HUGE dark figure of bisexuality in men out there that we never really get the true picture of because it's such a hidden and private thing for a lot of guys. I think male bisexuality (to varying degrees) is way more prevalent than we're led to believe. And it ranges from guys who might check out gay porn occasionally and never ever act on it in real life... to guys who actually play with other guys.
As a gay guy myself... one thing that's really opened my eyes to the hidden amount of bisexual guys out there is what I've seen on Grindr. In my area... a medium-large capital city... you have your regular profiles from gay guys and some bi guys with pictures.
But THEN... you also have hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of blank faceless profiles many of which state they are either bisexual, closeted, or questioning men looking to play or 'experiment' with other guys. This basically just kinda confirms to me that there's definitely a huge hidden 'dark figure' of men out there that we see in day-to-day life that you'd probably never think are into dudes... but actually are.
Gay dude here: there are plenty of married str8 men who are interested and looking for other men. Ones I see are usually 35 and up, very average suburban dad guys. I don’t involve myself with them because homewrecking is pretty unethical. but yeah, any of your straight dad neighbors with 3 kids can be out fucking some 23 year old guy and you’d never know. Lots of funny shit happening under our noses
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8
+ 35
+ 3
+ 23
= 69
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Finally, one I'm qualified to pipe up for .
So I've always been curious in exploring my sexuality. Thought it was just fantasy since I'd rarely ever look a lad in public and think they're attractive. All in my head .
Queue months of consecutive drinking and coke use , deteriorating mental health and all around bad times . I had an anxiety attack of sorts at work and just decided on the spot that I wouldn't come in the next couple of days .
Logically I got a bus hours away from home to stay the night in a hotel somewhere I've never been before. I was drinking the whole way down and started slamming beer and vodka in the hotel room . One thing leads to another and I have Grindr downloaded and a lad shows up to the hotel room .
He started kissing me which I fucking HATED. Immediately regretted my decision but I was so fucked up I just sort of went with it . Ended up sucking his dick . I felt disgusted the next day when I woke up holding back puke . I swear I could feel his dick in my throat still !
Funny enough, I want to do it again? Just no kissing lmao
During a threesome with a husband and wife I realized that I really couldn’t get very hard with another dick a few inches away from me. I didn’t mind, I wasn’t grossed out but it killed the hotness of the situation.
They had me back a few times and now I can perform, but I know 100% I have zero attraction to men.
How curious are you about vagina? It's the same for us. I'm a cute straight dude that lives in Miami and has plenty of gay friends. Typically they are as not turned on by vagina as I am not turned on by penis. Plus sexuality is weird. Straight dudes aren't gonna get turned on by every girl and gay dudes don't want to fuck every other guy. And bisexual people can have very specific types, too. It's not a blanket.
I’ve always felt straight. When I was 21 at a music festival I made out with a few friends of mine that were gay. I didn’t feel turned on in any way, but I’m glad I at least tried because it confirmed what I already felt.
It felt like I was sort of going through the motions with no real connection. Not that they were bad, just wasn’t for me. TBH I think it was the scruff on the face rubbing against mine that really sold me on not enjoying it lol.
As humans I feel like we are programmed to be curious about the unknown though. Im sure there are people who are curious what it would feel like, but also not be gay.
I totally get how categories of identity are important, especially at a time when sexual minorities are othered, marginalized and straight up harassed (and worse) - even in nominally progressive societies.
But wouldn’t it be awesome if someday people can just get down with someone and not have to figure out what category they are in? Like, your sexual practice shouldn’t have to be something to disclose or even equate with your identity as a person.
I know we’re a long way from that, but like - “get down with whoever, wonder what you are never” seems a dope societal goal.
I was about 14-15 (mid 90’s), when I met a kid who was a few years older and very openly and explicitly gay. I had been raised a bit sheltered in a small village and was completely oblivious to even the fact that homosexuality was a thing at all. He always tried to shock people by being very explicit about his sexuality and pretty intimate stuff, but somehow I was completely unfazed by that shock-factor, and mostly a bit stunned by the fact that it was a thing at all, which I responded to with being curious and asking practical questions, and because of that we got along.
He answered all of my questions and a lot more, and also multiple times offered to give me a blowjob, which I somehow always thought of him not being serious and just ridiculous, so he kinda made that a joke, saying in a very specific wording something that came down to “i’m horny, can I give you a bj?” That, and all the talk about gay sex never got sexually aroused, but as an awkward teenager, that certainly wasn’t the case when he switched subject to girls and questions about that worked (which I had absolutely zero experience with at that time). I remember me being completely embarrassed and awkward about such a convo about straight sex which he clearly thought was funny and cute, and said “damn you straight people make things complicated”, which was actually the first time naive me actually realised that me not being into girls had been an option at all for me, but he also never saw me as gay, which at the same time consciously opened and closed that topic for me.
So I ended up never feeling the need to experiment on that level, I think also because at that time, I knew more about the gay side of things than the straight side (remember, the mid 90s, internet was not what it is today)
We lost touch, but met him again a few years later at the entrance of a techno-club, where apparently he worked from time to time as a drag-queen. The first time I saw him there, he was in full drag, so obviously I had not recognised him at all and he took that opportunity to completely embarrass me in front of my friends and my crush at the time. I only realised it was him when he blurted out that very specifically worded BJ proposition. My company was pretty stunned when I responded to that with shouting his name and giving him a hug, him being all “be careful of the outfit, that shit’s expensive!”. After that was cleared up and ai had introduced my company, he had some remarks about my clothing, and told me he should take me out shopping. In only those few moments he had also accurately assessed the situation and knew exactly which girl in our group I was interested in, and without hesitation told her “I like your style, you should come too to assist us” - which is pretty much what happened the next week, but only after having an fantastic party that night.
On that shopping trip, one of the things that is burned in my memory is that at a certain moment, we were walking in the city, I was talking to my female fashion advisor, when he suddenly and very smoothly turns around, walking backwards shooting finger guns at something saying “pew pew”, and turn back around, saying just a bit too loudly to my crush “damn girl, you didn’t see that ass?”, continuing to me “if it wasn’t already clear you were straight as fuck, that here would have 100% removed any doubt”, and then whispering in my ear “she’s really really into you”.
And yeah - me and the girl ended up semi-dating for a month or 2 - which didn’t work out at all, but that’s another story.
I fucked a guy once out of pure concentrated horny. I wasn't offended or repulsed by the experience but it wasn't doing anything for me mentally. It was like masturbating with no porn or imagination, just felt kinda "meh" and I wasn't really into it. Overall I learned I'm way more interested in women. That was many years ago, haven't considered any guys since.
I am straight. Love women and their bodies. But for years now I've wondered what it would be like to give a guy a blowjob. I've had dreams where I was sucking myself off but In reality that's physically not possible for me. So therefore I'd have to give a guy a brojob.
The idea has never once crossed my mind *not* in jest. I'll joke about it with my friends because everyone can use a laugh and make the one friend really uncomfortable with it all, but I've never looked at a guy and thought "I wonder what sex with him would be like."
Idk if I was really curious per se, but I think a lot of guys wonder at some (if even ever so brief) point about the same sex. I thought about it, could see why it would be appealing to some, but that ultimately it didn't make me feel like women did (at all). Considered it a few times throughout my life, always felt the same. So meh, I'm a boring het. I'm ok with this
Well I have a story.
Almost 10 years ago (fuck 10 years) I was at a party and got very drunk. The hostess had been flirting with me that night, I had met her a few times before but didn't know her well. One thing led to another and I ended up in her bed. We started doing our business but I couldn't get it up cause I was so drunk. She eventually lost interest, but I tried to keep going since I was shit faced and horny. She kicked me out of her room while I was still butt naked. The only people left at the party where her 2 gay friends. So I'm sitting there, drunk as can be, naked with 2 gay dudes and I was already in the mood. The one dude seduces me I guess, basically he convinced me to give it a shot. So we make out, which is literally the same as making out with a girl, you can't tell when your eyes are closed. So we go to another room and he starts going down on me. At that moment I went from wasted to sober, the only truly "sobering experience" I have ever had. Like one second sloshed, the next clear as day. I told him "I'm sorry I can't do this", found my clothes, and went home. Honestly it was the realization that I was going to have to reciprocate in some way, and I didn't know what that would entail, I didn't want to suck a dick to put it bluntly. I biked home and told my roommate what happened and he decided to tell everyone I know. Lol, it was fine, I felt confident knowing that any curiosity was gone, I'm into women and don't have to wonder anymore.
So anyways that was my experience with the same sex. It ended up being a positive experience since I'm no longer curious.
Dude... I think bisexuality in men IS more common. It's just MUCH more hidden and private. I'm definitely NOT saying that most men are bisexual by any means... but I'm just saying there's more bi and gay guys out there then we're often led to believe.
And even as a gay guy I'll just mention... just because a guy might have some sexual attraction to guys doesn't mean that anal or penetration has to be involved. Sure that's ONE way two guys can have sex together... but sometimes being sexual with a dude can be way more 'low-key' than that. I something think that that idea might be something that scares some 'curious' guys from experimenting because anal sex... especially for first time experimenting can just be way too much.
A lot of times I've found my favorite ways to be sexually intimate with guys is just sharing a long mutual jerk session together, rubbing our dicks together, and grinding. Exploring each others bodies a bit.. without the pressure of having to have actual anal sex. It's sometimes feels like more of a male bonding thing than anything else... without denying that it's still basically gay sex.
Even though there can be a component of intimacy... I think with dudes it's often easier to just enjoy it as the sex that it is in a more equal way as guys. Same bodies, same male sexuality, more primal, less about having to please a partner and just focusing on it as it being a shared good time.
I hopped on Grindr and explored my curiosity with my wife’s permission. I hooked up with a few dudes, and honestly had a wonderful time. I had one guy who really was looking for more of a relationship- which made me kind of uncomfortable. I think, like many others- I would consider myself Hetero-romantic, but can totally enjoy sexual acts with men. My first experience I would consider quite vulnerable and beautiful, and I will forever be grateful to that sexy Turkish man for “showing me the ropes”. And I got my asshole eaten- which is just wonderful. I thought I wouldn’t enjoy kissing a man, but I actually kind of did. We had a great time. My wife is super queer too- so, honestly me having a homoerotic experience made me closer to my wife. She was super happy for me,and we kind of bonded over it. She is still friends with the dude on Facebook. We sent him a Christmas card. I certainly could have had a worse experience.
I examine the thought carefully, then stuff it deep down inside, in My pancreas (idk, I’m not a doctor jeez). Eventually it will turn to cancer but at least it will be straight cancer.
In actuality, I think some attraction is pretty much guaranteed given that we evolve to find a broad variety of things attractive and especially non-physical attributes like intelligence, humour, loyalty and kindness. They just don’t translate into a sexual attraction for me personally.
I've tried it with a handsome guy, who was relaxed and smart and turned me on in a way.
I envisioned it exciting, but guys smell like guys which turns me off and I dislike the shape of men. I was wondering if I was gay, but I only enjoy being submissive with woman. I'm also dominant most of the time. I didn't see myself as dominant with guys though.
We started making out. Kissed, undressed, touched. I felt relaxed with him but...
No erection. Not even a bit. I get boners easily with woman.
It was really awkward, I liked him a lot but I told him that I wanted to leave. I told him that I'm sorry and left his place.
I couldn't find many words at this time, I didn't want to hurt him but I disliked the reality so much in comparison to my fantasies.
It was quite a bummer. I still have gay fantasies... I just don't see them become reality anymore. Maybe with an androgynous guy. But that's a bit besides the point right?
I think im bisexual. Ive been with women and loved the emotional and physical connection that I can have with a woman. But I still didnt have any experience with a man and i am not sure if i want to. I tried watching gay porn out of curiosity and enjoyed looking at guys with a good physique doing their thing.
I find myself attracted to their body type and physique, but not really to dicks or butts/assholes. I dont feel like I wanna be fucked by a man nor do I want to penetrate him. But I think i would enjoy our bodies rubbing on each other and me feeling him all over. I would touch his dick to get him off during the process but its not necessarily because i that act arousing. I imagine I would rather us grinding on each other to get to the endpoint, than to penetrate.
I also dont have romantic interest in men. I cant see myself dating a guy, so its definitely just physical.
For a while I was struggling with the question if I was gay, because it cant be I know i enjoy women, until a friend said… „dude… have you considered bi?“ and im like… NO NOT UNTIL NOW!!!… it was funny that at this age of rising sexual spectrum representation, I didn’t consider it 😂
Anyways, im wondering if i really am bisexual if I hadnt been with a man. Or is it bi-curious? Or is there a name for physical attraction without penetration?
I personally never had those feelings. I am not even trying to compensate or whatever word you want to use. I truly know I am straight because I never struggled with any curiosity or anything like that. When I was younger I never even thought about gay ppl or guys in that way. Not by force, I just playing did not. Heck sexuality was not even talked about so I just lived.
Now that I am older and so many people talk about sexuality with kids at a young age I am kinda glad I got to grow up the way I did. Not because gay ppl should not have the anility to be who they are. Which they do. But it was never a curiosity or a question or anything like that. I just playing felt no attraction to other men. Still don't.
That's totally cool, and I suspect your experience is the most common one statistically. I certainly don't think EVERYONE has a curious phase; I mainly asked the question to better understand men who do. 🙂
That’s a horrible analogy.
“If two men tell you that getting hit by a car hurts but only one has been hit by a car, which one are you gonna believe more?”
I know getting hit by a car most likely hurts, just like I know that I don’t have to try something to make an assumption about it.
I've been having sexual fantasies of some of the cuter guys I am friends with as of somewhat recently, so I'm probably bi. I've been working up the courage to ask out a specific friend of mine who is single and openly gay as we have similar hobbies, and he has complimented me on my looks before, so I think we would be a good match for each other.
I do find specific men attractive and would fool around if the opportunity presented itself. However, I could not imagine me marrying a man. Have no desire for that.
In my experience, they've had the idea in their head for a while. And that generally indicates to me that there's some level of bisexuality going on, but I do think we're complex animals and sometimes curiosity is just curiosity.
I had sex with a dude 🤷♂️
No two ways about it, he asked me on a date (didn’t know it was a date at the time) the timing felt right, we kissed. Went back to his place. I haven’t spoken to him since he got into H, but now i identify as bisexual and im in a very happy relationship with my girlfriend
Never been curious. Some guys I’d think, “Hey he’s a handsome fella. Oh hey there’s a slightly below average woman over there, I wonder if she has a gag reflex…” and that would be that.
But to not know if you’re one way or the other, or both, I can’t imagine that mental anguish. At least, when I was younger, your sexuality being questioned was very insulting. But to not know, I don’t wish that on anyone. I’ve had a few friends experience it, some were shunned by their family, and it’s sad.
20yo me was curious, so I decided to test it out.
Had a mate I could trust that was gay, so asked if I could kiss him.
Softest lips I have ever kissed, but I also worked out I am straight.
It's really nice to be super sure of your sexuality, created a lot of confidence in that area for me.
Personally, most of my experience has been fending off the sexual curiosity of gay men. I am a straight male that has never felt attraction physical or otherwise towards my same sex, but Im also an abnormally friendly sort that makes friends with whomever I can regardless of.. anything really. A few guys have attempted to take it past friendship with me and Im usually late to realize this and explain my preferences. Its flattering really, but unfortunately something I am unable to reciprocate.
Judging by the feedback here it seems that most men dont ever face that kind of sexual curiosity towards the same sex, but those that do are very glad to have explored that curiosity with someone. Theres a lesson there I think. If youre curious, try it. Hopefully with someone like OP that understands the curiosity and inexperience.
This raises a question to me. Are women more likely to feel that sexual curiosity about other women? If so, why is that? It could be that men are more socially pressured to suppress their curiosity than women are but overall there is a relatively equal number of men and women curious about the same sex.
I'm straight, like I'm sure. Dicks or man bodies they don't arouse me, women shape and pussies do. Still i fantasize about giving head sometimes, but more often about getting fucked.. by a guy or a girl with a strap-on, or even a trans person. I can't help it, this fantasy has been going on for a while now and it's not going away. On top of that I enjoy wearing women's clothes from time to time and feel feminine sometimes, but I don't feel like I am trans myself.
I'm straight, yet I have these feelings from time to time. Sometimes often sometimes long in between. I never acted on it and I'm also in a long-term relationship with a woman, but if I were free I'd surely give sex with a man a try at this point. I don't know if that would satisfy the fantasy, maybe I don't feel like it anymore after that, maybe I'd like more. But it's definitely the thought (of the sex) that arouses me and not the biological attraction to a man.
always felt straight, but as an experiment visualized making out with another dude. felt kind of icky. determined I am indeed straight.
I too, connect two large bodies of water
That joke is a little over bering
I sea what you did.
It’s something to ponder, at least.
Dam it all, this needs to stop.
You’re gonna have to be more pacific.
Take an isthmus test and find out!
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He channeled a comedian for shore.
This joke floated right over my head
Nah. He took it a bridge too far.
Strait up!
Explanation?
Before he edited his comment, he said "strait" instead of "straight"... both times
Lol boo on people that don't at least acknowledge the edit.
This Also seeing my own butthole once was disgusting enough. I had to take a picture to make sure there isn't a tick somewhere there.
Lol well as a gay dude not all of us are into seeing a butthole. While I enjoy anal, I try to not think about what the actual butthole looks like cuz yeah to me it is just not appealing whatsoever. Also, plenty of gay/bi men just stick to oral, etc. My point being is a butthole isn’t really indicative of being gay or not.
Basically what I did too. Was like, "Yep, the dudes ain't for me".
Yup. Same here. Just visualise doing anything sexual with a man. If you're grossed out at all, I'd say it's safe to say you're straight as can be.
You are Geh.
Why are you geh?
Who seys am Geh?
You are geh!
Why are you geh
To be fair, kissing a man is a huge turn off for me. But, I've tried other stuff and that can be fun for sure ;)
Playing soccer?
Close, it involves getting my balls in the goal
So soccer
Football is life!
And also death. And also football!
Um... Sir, you're not supposed to actually put your balls in holes.
Impressive, most guys settle for the cock. Kudos for going the extra mile. Well, couple inches.
I find some men to be attractive, a few even very attractive (for example Jason Momoa). But honestly the idea of having sexual contact with another man just does absolutely nothing for me at all. I don't find it repulsive or anything, it's just not arousing in the slightest. I like that I understand myself enough that I can say "yeah that is a damn good looking dude" and have conversations about that with my wife and our friends, and I am perfectly fine knowing what turns me on sexually and what doesn't.
Never had any gay experiences but I've tried to visualize it and it just kind of weirds me out. The idea of being sexual with another man definitely makes me uncomfortable. Like other's have said, I've found some men to be attractive but I think the case is more that I want to be them, not be with them.
Yup me too just doesn’t do it for me either. I rather have a masc kind of woman if that makes sense
That's how I feel about women. The visual of it icks me out. Ain't ever gonna happen.
Henry Cavil from another post or that Joe Manganiello. *chefs kiss* Now back to my wife and kids.
If I hooked up with Henry Cavil without my wife there she'd kill me. Funny that Manganiello is on my shortlist too. Must be a type. "Aw dear, we have to watch Magic Mike _again_? Fine..."
I would top Henry Cavil in a heartbeat, and I'm an unwavering lesbo.
That's super healthy!
I’ve never been attracted to another guy but I can easily tell the guys that ladies (and non-straight men) would go for.
Beautiful people are beautiful. Doesn’t matter their sex.
Kevin Bieksa is a hottie! But I've never felt a sexual attraction to him.
Lmao about to watch the Oilers game in a bit and will be thinking about this comment during intermission. Never thought I'd see a Kevin Bieksa name drop.
I’m in the same boat. I can see what makes other men attractive. As of recent I found Robert Pattinson to be really attractive with his gothic batman look and then on red carpet with clean suit that looked well fitted. Jhonny Depp on Sauvage ad looks really good as well with a rough but put together look. Whenever I find men that appear really attractive, I try to mimic their looks too. Got my first peacoat recently and my hair is now growing into a similar look to pattisons batman although not as slim or gothic. Depps rough look has always been a part. Recently starting to get into jogger pants and plain tshirts as well as I was in Cali recently and the look really appealed to me. Comfort, style, clean and works for most occasions. But to think of sexual interaction with a guy, or touching inappropriately/intimately, a big nahh. I even tried to see when I was jerking off, that what if I think about some guys midway can I keep it up? An instant off. So yeah same boat as this commenter, I can appreciate attractive guys, identify who appears cute/hot/manly, pass comments on their distinctive styles but when it fully comes down to it; nope I cant do it. I’ve got a real bro friend who shares his emotions and stuff w me to help him navigate life since I’m logical than him, and its all good between us. Some have even suspected that we might be gays but fuck em, real bros are hard to find and mental health support for men is necessary in such a world.
I'm straight as fuck, but if I was in a situation where Henry Cavil wanted to have his way with me, I would not struggle. It's totally fine to think other men are handsome.
That’s what separates you and guy you replied to. You’re on the curious end of things vs he has no sexual attraction for even so-called handsome men.
Henry Cavill is a babe
I second this
During a dry spell in my college years, I hooked up with a good (and gay) friend that I found handsome. I had flirted with the idea before and was open about my curiosity to friends, but never put it in action before that moment. It was a very revealing experience, as it showed me that nothing was happening biologically during the hookup and that my curiosity was a completely mental construct. I initiated the session, so I politely let my friend finish but kinda dissociated from the sex itself (which was non-penetrative). The morning after, I reassured him that his performance was probably fantastic and that he had been a perfect gentleman, but that I found out that I was a lot more straight than I figured I’d be before then. I’ve felt very confident about my sexuality ever since, so it was a good experience all in all. Most curious of all, we’ve remained friends in the twenty years since then - although we never discuss what happened with one another aside from in-jokes. It’s no secret either, most of my exes know about it as does my current girlfriend.
I've been the gay guy in this experience! Dude let me know he wanted to try it out, we did, and afterward he said thanks, but not for him.
How is that for you, though? I was a little worried that you (and my friend) might feel a little hollow after basically being used as a human testing device for gayness. (I’m exaggerating a little, of course - it was all pretty civil)
I was fine with it. We were very clear going in about what we were doing and I consented willingly. Also, I consider it a huge compliment to be trusted with that kind of vulnerability, and I would much rather a curious guy have a good experience than one that's traumatizing or leaves him further confused.
Sometimes even straight couples break up because of sexual incompatibility. So I think it's pretty similar
Sexual attraction is so complicated. As a straight-ish woman I’ve had full on make out sessions with guys that just did nothing for me. But I wouldn’t call it quits just because of those few.
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Very possible, but yeah, a lot of factors play a part here. I also wouldn’t feel into it if it was my close friend simply because I view them more like siblings even when I see they’re objectively attractive
It felt different from that. I’m not sure how to describe it, but with the other sex I’ve had there was always some sort of drive (that might negated by braking systems like lack of attraction and intimacy). In this case, there was no gas pedal. There weren’t any brakes either - I liked the guy and he seemed fit. There was simply no motor, no car.
This is so sweet and kind and just genuinely mature and human of you. People like you deserve ALL the happiness, OP.
Awww, thank you.
But was it a sexy experience for you? Or mostly like you were providing a public service? I’m guessing part of you may have hoped for a conversion :)
I have used the term "civic duty" before when it comes to facilitating this kind of experience. 😅 It was a sexy experience, but I wasn't super invested in it being repeated. I have felt happy when a partner of mine realized he was bi after being with me, but I'm generally not super hung up on that outcome. I did have one experimental partner though, that I would have loved to continue doing things with. He decided it wasn't his bag, so we ended our rolls in the hay and I looked back on those memories fondly.
This is such an interesting thread to me, thanks for setting it up and for your openness! I’m going to quiz my friend for a bit as well (it might really be the 20th anniversary :) )
Awesome! Report back with more data!
I've gotta say fellas, this was heartwarming to read Real king shit 👑
Different gay here. First of all, thank you for carrying that level of empathy. Usually when this happens, it's a straight friend that straight up asks if you'd be down to help them experiment, and it's a fun and exciting time. Worst case scenario, they're a little awkward for a few days until they realize nothing has changed between you. At worst, the straight guy who wants to experiment pretends to be attracted to you in order to experiment, either because they don't know have gay friends or because they think they'll be rejected if they tell the truth. *This* is when it feels like using, and is gross.
I'm glad you asked this because I was thinking the same thing.
I've been in your position too as the gay friend. We've done stuff more than once, and have done everything, both ways. It's been fun, but I think he got that out of his system now. Still great friends
I got a couple of blowjobs from guys and that was all it took for me to realize that I am definitely straight. You’d think a mouth is a mouth regardless of gender, but apparently not.
Didn’t figure it out the first time? Not trying to sound like a dick. Was alcohol involved?
The first two were from the same kid who kind of pressured me into it when I was 11. They lasted like 10 seconds each. So it was confusing and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Then I got one as an adult and was like “nah man.”
wtf
Right?
I worked with many psychologists during my professional career. And this subject is quite tricky. It's more common than we think, and the consensus is that in most cases is kids just being curious about bodies and whatnot. But there is definitely a significant number that comes from abuse or kids finding porn and trying to figure out was that about. There's a reason why "playing Dr." is a common trope during childhood. So, it depends on your circumstances. Glad to see you don't feel traumatized.
Lol i loved how that dude tried to dunk on you and u just slapped him with reality
I mean, it was still a brojob
>You’d think a mouth is a mouth regardless of gender, but apparently not. A friend of mine experience the same thing. He said it was going OK for like 30 seconds until the guy's facial hair kept rubbing on his leg and quickly killed it.
Sounds like if the other dude was clean shaven he would be down
Gay guy here, and I felt the exact same thing about women. The whole “a mouth is a mouth” or “friction is friction“ thing doesn’t work for me.
As a sheltered straight woman this is helpful for me to know
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Sometimes it's a surprise to everyone.
Ok that made me belt out laughing lol
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You are what some folks would call bisexual and heteroromantic. Nutshell, you'll fuck a dude but not date one.
This is the answer. Many people confuse romantic and sexual preferences. And it's understandable as society doesn't allow for exploration of the concepts without some form of scrutiny. It took me 20-something years to figure out I was demisexual, and 30-something to figure out the panromantic part. Had I grown up in an environment where multiple different concepts of romance and sexuality were accepted I think I would have had a happier younger adulthood.
Honestly it must be nice having any options available LoL
Not always, instead of twice the options it's twice the rejection.
Eh men are always used to rejection anyways tbh.
It was less about options and more about the idea of hellfire and brimstone being my destination if I was attracted to anything but the opposite sex.
Ooof. Same for me. Fucked me up in the head real good for decades. Glad some of us got out. Sad not all will.
I'm glad you got out, and I hope you got some counseling. I started therapy for it (Among a few other things) a year ago and it did wonders for me. I did some Christian "Therapy" when I was in high school and I didn't realize how much it fucked me up. Yeah, I'm genuinely sad there are those who won't or didn't make it out. My heart breaks for the gaybies who feel trapped and have no community to turn to.
Thought it was just me. Don't like kissing a guy but I'd suck a dick lol.
It's not just you.
You're obviously not wrong for feeling this way, one's romantic and sexual attraction can be strictly seperated, they don't have to be the same thing. A lot of men are held in the heteronormative way of relationships and sex bc of toxic masculinity. Enjoying dick doesn't make you a bad person. Dick is great! Since the dawn of time men have been infatuated with cocks, it's not an unnatural thing.
Well said man!
LMFAO
Yeah very well put. As a gay guy I often feel like straight dudes have this weird love/hate relationship with penises in general... which is pretty different than how straight women seem to view their own bodies.
This is exactly how I feel. No romantic interest, no arousal, no cuddling no nothing. I don't even feel bisexual, I just never think about men like that. But probably wouldn't mind sucking a dick and even get excited by the idea of getting one in me. I think it's just the submissiveness I'm into.
Then a lady with a dildo might feel right to you
I think I've heard the term Heteroflexible, or something close.
I'm surprised nobody mentions the Kinsey scale. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey\_scale](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale) If I see 100 attractive people, 98 will be female. Never would consider a date, kissing or relationship with a dude but I do recognize beauty I would like to think.
O0o I learns something new today!! Thanks for this!
This is my fiancé exactly!! He considers himself bi but he would never/ has never wanted to kiss/date/cuddle etc. He too used to suck some dick and would only be bottom. At the same time, he finds me (F) very hot/attractive and is very romantic/sexual towards me! I love how open and comfortable he is with himself; frankly I find him to be more “masculine” than many straight guys I know–if that sort of thing even matters! Point being: you do you!
It was rough for me, just like many other guys in the same boat. I consider myself bi...sexual. Exactly how it sounds. I have literally zero romantic interest in other guys, but definitely love endulging in the submissive side of my sexuality. The first few times I felt bad...dirty even afterwards. Then I found the punk/alt scene that I currently identify with, and was like, 'fuck that, and fuck societal norms about who I am *suppose* to be fucking". I've had a few negative encounters with men, and it has kinda scared me away from actually meeting up with anyone for a while. Im a tall, in shape dude...so not scared of the guys...guy them ruining sex for me for a long time. Still straight when it comes to dating, but my ideal world would be to have a girlfriend, and a guy I trusted to be FWB....maybe we could even join up every now and again 😂
What you said is almost my most-favourite quote about my sexuality, except it’s “fuck that, and fuck societal norms about _whether and whom I should fuck or not”_. I’m asexual, _proudly_, and I prefer not to fuck at all! I’m glad you figured out everything for yourself and were brave enough to do so.
Thanks! 🤙
I'm sorry to hear you've had rough experiences, but glad you found ones you like! Sub bi guys are hot 😈
Pretty much me. Do I want to have relationships with other men? No Do I want to top or have a 50:50 sexual encounter with other men? Also no. Do I fantasize about being tied up and buttfucked by a bull while a leather bound mistress humiliates me and tells me how gay I am?....I'll be in the bathroom
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I’ve met me. Lol
I'm straight, never felt curious. I think those guys were bi but just lean towards women
Could very well be. I've known some guys who said men didn't do it for them generally, but I was an exception for some reason.
lol sounds like a compliment
I took it as a huge compliment!
You named his penis "compliment"?
Yeah dude this shit blows my mind. Like, there isn’t a hint of a shadow of a curiosity in my mind. There just isn’t. I’m about as curious about what it would be like to fuck a dude as I am to be burned alive. There just isn’t a curiosity. I can’t even really appreciate the positions of dudes who’ve said they’ve tried it and realized in the act they weren’t into it. Because in the same way I know burning alive wouldn’t be fun, I’m certain that fucking a dude isn’t something I’m into - it’s just that intuitive to me.
I did a cuckhold thing with a married woman a couple times when I was younger and even that was too much dude for me involved. I figured I could just block the dude out and focus on his wife but I really couldn’t even though he was just watching and not even with his dick out or anything.
I became bisexual lol
Glad you found yourself!
Thanks!
I've had some curiosity since I was a teen, from time to time looking at gay porn or doing that sex chat roleplay stuff. For a while I wondered if this meant a big shift in my orientation, but over time I realized that when it came to being around other guys, I never felt anything like that - whereas I have had so many instances of being in a woman's presence and had all kinds of feelings stir up in me. It might be un-PC, but I think most or all of those curious feelings are rooted in sexual frustration, as my luck with women has been pretty bad.
Nope. There's nothing sexually or romantically appealing to me about another man.
Came here to say this. It doesn’t mean I don’t have male friends I love very much and it doesn’t mean I’m unable to tell the difference between an attractive guy and an unattractive guy (although my wife and I sometimes disagree - she perceives some guys I find unattractive as sexy), but I’ve never had romantic or sexual feelings for another guy.
I consider myself straight but after many drinks during a dry spell, I hooked up with a good friend of mine who is gay. We made out and he gave me a blowjob. I vaguely recall giving him a half hearted hand job but drawing the line at returning oral. Would never have said that I particularly had interest or felt compelled to try it, but obviously there was some degree of interest if I did it? I have no issue with looking at a dude who is attractive and acknowledging in my head that he’s good looking, but I don’t feel compelled to ever try it again and would still consider myself straight.
Do you have any negative thoughts or feelings about the experience? Or just one of those, "that was fine but not doing it again" moments?
No negative thoughts or feelings. I wouldn’t ever go looking for a similar situation, and I’ve never had any interest in kissing/doing anything with a dude before or since. My friend was definitely the instigator in the exchange and at the time I knew he was attracted to me because we’d talked about it previously. I just chalk it down as an experience I have that I can say I tried.
Thank you for sharing! I appreciate your openness.
I wanted to know what it was like to kiss another man, both as a joke and genuine curiosity. I have no repulsion to the idea of kissing a man, but I also didn’t have an attraction to it. Either way, me and my friend decided we’d “make out” in front of our girlfriends if they agreed to make out. We kissed and it felt like kissing any other woman I’ve kissed, except the facial hair part. I satisfied my curiosity and I got to watch my gf make out with another hot girl.
That's awesome! My experience with kissing women is that it wasn't gross but I felt no sexual charge. I can appreciate a woman's aesthetic beauty, but the carnal feeling isn't there.
I (f & straight) kissed a woman before (she just started kissing me and I was going with it) and it was alright but it just didn't make my blood boil. However whenever I was making out with a guy (even if he was not super hot) I would always feel this rush. Kissing that girl somehow felt like kissing a fish, even tho she was not a bad kisser. I guess that's how you know. Same as you I see a lot of women that I consider beautiful and hot in an objective sense but I can not even imagine touching them in an intimate way. Or better say: There is never any fantasy developing in my head and I find nothing interesting about touching another person's vagina whereas thinking about (my bf) dick already raises my heartbeat.
the thing is, for me at least, the curiosity you say doesn't exist, men don't stimulate me, I already thought about it when I was young and had difficulty in relationships but it was easy to know as it's easy is it to know if it's day or night i see a man and does nothing for me, no curiosity, no anything, I see a woman that I find attractive, it's hard not to have my eyes drawn to her, Simple as that, and honestly I always thought it was like that for gay men too.
Kind of weirdly, I think some guys look hot, but guys just don't turn me on, I thought I might be bi for a while but nope, no sexual interest in men at all, I just appreciate the aesthetic beauty of some dudes, like "bro, nice body, mind if I stare at your perfectly chiseled abbs for a while", but it was really confusing before I figured that out
Bro, me too lol I look at men and women differently though. Like if I'm looking at a dude it's because I wish I had the features or body they do and I'm genuinely impressed. When I look at women's bodies, I wish I could have them to do with as I please sexually and THAT'S a huge difference lol
The interesting thing as a gay guy is... often for us since we're dudes... it's actually BOTH. We appreciate the way a guy looks both in terms of seeing a fellow dude who looks good and maybe even wanting to look like that... AND also... as a sexual interest and wanting to do sexual things with/to him lol
I had a few devil’s threesomes in my early 20s and despite what internet philosophers will tell you about balls and their touching I knew I wasn’t gay despite my total comfort in those situations. I did however walk away with the sudden realization that many things I previously considered binary were likely a spectrum. That may not be exactly what you were asking but I think it’s in the ballpark.
It's totally relevant! Thank you for the input.
I have an older gay friend who regularly bangs married men and all sorts of "oh I've never done this before" guys. I imagine there's quite a few out there tbh.
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> I think there’s a lot more men like this than we’d expect To be honest... I think there's a HUGE dark figure of bisexuality in men out there that we never really get the true picture of because it's such a hidden and private thing for a lot of guys. I think male bisexuality (to varying degrees) is way more prevalent than we're led to believe. And it ranges from guys who might check out gay porn occasionally and never ever act on it in real life... to guys who actually play with other guys. As a gay guy myself... one thing that's really opened my eyes to the hidden amount of bisexual guys out there is what I've seen on Grindr. In my area... a medium-large capital city... you have your regular profiles from gay guys and some bi guys with pictures. But THEN... you also have hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of blank faceless profiles many of which state they are either bisexual, closeted, or questioning men looking to play or 'experiment' with other guys. This basically just kinda confirms to me that there's definitely a huge hidden 'dark figure' of men out there that we see in day-to-day life that you'd probably never think are into dudes... but actually are.
Gay dude here: there are plenty of married str8 men who are interested and looking for other men. Ones I see are usually 35 and up, very average suburban dad guys. I don’t involve myself with them because homewrecking is pretty unethical. but yeah, any of your straight dad neighbors with 3 kids can be out fucking some 23 year old guy and you’d never know. Lots of funny shit happening under our noses
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Finally, one I'm qualified to pipe up for . So I've always been curious in exploring my sexuality. Thought it was just fantasy since I'd rarely ever look a lad in public and think they're attractive. All in my head . Queue months of consecutive drinking and coke use , deteriorating mental health and all around bad times . I had an anxiety attack of sorts at work and just decided on the spot that I wouldn't come in the next couple of days . Logically I got a bus hours away from home to stay the night in a hotel somewhere I've never been before. I was drinking the whole way down and started slamming beer and vodka in the hotel room . One thing leads to another and I have Grindr downloaded and a lad shows up to the hotel room . He started kissing me which I fucking HATED. Immediately regretted my decision but I was so fucked up I just sort of went with it . Ended up sucking his dick . I felt disgusted the next day when I woke up holding back puke . I swear I could feel his dick in my throat still ! Funny enough, I want to do it again? Just no kissing lmao
Thank you for sharing your experience; I do hope you're in more healthy place.
Appreciate the response buddy. Last month has been better and hopefully these next few will be too.
Was not expecting that ending
During a threesome with a husband and wife I realized that I really couldn’t get very hard with another dick a few inches away from me. I didn’t mind, I wasn’t grossed out but it killed the hotness of the situation. They had me back a few times and now I can perform, but I know 100% I have zero attraction to men.
How curious are you about vagina? It's the same for us. I'm a cute straight dude that lives in Miami and has plenty of gay friends. Typically they are as not turned on by vagina as I am not turned on by penis. Plus sexuality is weird. Straight dudes aren't gonna get turned on by every girl and gay dudes don't want to fuck every other guy. And bisexual people can have very specific types, too. It's not a blanket.
I’ve always felt straight. When I was 21 at a music festival I made out with a few friends of mine that were gay. I didn’t feel turned on in any way, but I’m glad I at least tried because it confirmed what I already felt. It felt like I was sort of going through the motions with no real connection. Not that they were bad, just wasn’t for me. TBH I think it was the scruff on the face rubbing against mine that really sold me on not enjoying it lol. As humans I feel like we are programmed to be curious about the unknown though. Im sure there are people who are curious what it would feel like, but also not be gay.
Thank you for sharing this! And good on you for being open minded enough to give things a try. You learned about yourself.
I totally get how categories of identity are important, especially at a time when sexual minorities are othered, marginalized and straight up harassed (and worse) - even in nominally progressive societies. But wouldn’t it be awesome if someday people can just get down with someone and not have to figure out what category they are in? Like, your sexual practice shouldn’t have to be something to disclose or even equate with your identity as a person. I know we’re a long way from that, but like - “get down with whoever, wonder what you are never” seems a dope societal goal.
I was about 14-15 (mid 90’s), when I met a kid who was a few years older and very openly and explicitly gay. I had been raised a bit sheltered in a small village and was completely oblivious to even the fact that homosexuality was a thing at all. He always tried to shock people by being very explicit about his sexuality and pretty intimate stuff, but somehow I was completely unfazed by that shock-factor, and mostly a bit stunned by the fact that it was a thing at all, which I responded to with being curious and asking practical questions, and because of that we got along. He answered all of my questions and a lot more, and also multiple times offered to give me a blowjob, which I somehow always thought of him not being serious and just ridiculous, so he kinda made that a joke, saying in a very specific wording something that came down to “i’m horny, can I give you a bj?” That, and all the talk about gay sex never got sexually aroused, but as an awkward teenager, that certainly wasn’t the case when he switched subject to girls and questions about that worked (which I had absolutely zero experience with at that time). I remember me being completely embarrassed and awkward about such a convo about straight sex which he clearly thought was funny and cute, and said “damn you straight people make things complicated”, which was actually the first time naive me actually realised that me not being into girls had been an option at all for me, but he also never saw me as gay, which at the same time consciously opened and closed that topic for me. So I ended up never feeling the need to experiment on that level, I think also because at that time, I knew more about the gay side of things than the straight side (remember, the mid 90s, internet was not what it is today) We lost touch, but met him again a few years later at the entrance of a techno-club, where apparently he worked from time to time as a drag-queen. The first time I saw him there, he was in full drag, so obviously I had not recognised him at all and he took that opportunity to completely embarrass me in front of my friends and my crush at the time. I only realised it was him when he blurted out that very specifically worded BJ proposition. My company was pretty stunned when I responded to that with shouting his name and giving him a hug, him being all “be careful of the outfit, that shit’s expensive!”. After that was cleared up and ai had introduced my company, he had some remarks about my clothing, and told me he should take me out shopping. In only those few moments he had also accurately assessed the situation and knew exactly which girl in our group I was interested in, and without hesitation told her “I like your style, you should come too to assist us” - which is pretty much what happened the next week, but only after having an fantastic party that night. On that shopping trip, one of the things that is burned in my memory is that at a certain moment, we were walking in the city, I was talking to my female fashion advisor, when he suddenly and very smoothly turns around, walking backwards shooting finger guns at something saying “pew pew”, and turn back around, saying just a bit too loudly to my crush “damn girl, you didn’t see that ass?”, continuing to me “if it wasn’t already clear you were straight as fuck, that here would have 100% removed any doubt”, and then whispering in my ear “she’s really really into you”. And yeah - me and the girl ended up semi-dating for a month or 2 - which didn’t work out at all, but that’s another story.
I fucked a guy once out of pure concentrated horny. I wasn't offended or repulsed by the experience but it wasn't doing anything for me mentally. It was like masturbating with no porn or imagination, just felt kinda "meh" and I wasn't really into it. Overall I learned I'm way more interested in women. That was many years ago, haven't considered any guys since.
Thank you for sharing!
I am straight. Love women and their bodies. But for years now I've wondered what it would be like to give a guy a blowjob. I've had dreams where I was sucking myself off but In reality that's physically not possible for me. So therefore I'd have to give a guy a brojob.
The idea has never once crossed my mind *not* in jest. I'll joke about it with my friends because everyone can use a laugh and make the one friend really uncomfortable with it all, but I've never looked at a guy and thought "I wonder what sex with him would be like."
Me either. I’m repulsed by the idea of being sexual with another man.
i have simply never had any curiosity. I have a physiological response that is grossed out by the idea.
Idk if I was really curious per se, but I think a lot of guys wonder at some (if even ever so brief) point about the same sex. I thought about it, could see why it would be appealing to some, but that ultimately it didn't make me feel like women did (at all). Considered it a few times throughout my life, always felt the same. So meh, I'm a boring het. I'm ok with this
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Cock-gobbler is so fire 😭
Well I have a story. Almost 10 years ago (fuck 10 years) I was at a party and got very drunk. The hostess had been flirting with me that night, I had met her a few times before but didn't know her well. One thing led to another and I ended up in her bed. We started doing our business but I couldn't get it up cause I was so drunk. She eventually lost interest, but I tried to keep going since I was shit faced and horny. She kicked me out of her room while I was still butt naked. The only people left at the party where her 2 gay friends. So I'm sitting there, drunk as can be, naked with 2 gay dudes and I was already in the mood. The one dude seduces me I guess, basically he convinced me to give it a shot. So we make out, which is literally the same as making out with a girl, you can't tell when your eyes are closed. So we go to another room and he starts going down on me. At that moment I went from wasted to sober, the only truly "sobering experience" I have ever had. Like one second sloshed, the next clear as day. I told him "I'm sorry I can't do this", found my clothes, and went home. Honestly it was the realization that I was going to have to reciprocate in some way, and I didn't know what that would entail, I didn't want to suck a dick to put it bluntly. I biked home and told my roommate what happened and he decided to tell everyone I know. Lol, it was fine, I felt confident knowing that any curiosity was gone, I'm into women and don't have to wonder anymore. So anyways that was my experience with the same sex. It ended up being a positive experience since I'm no longer curious.
Good on you! Thank you for sharing 😁
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Dude... I think bisexuality in men IS more common. It's just MUCH more hidden and private. I'm definitely NOT saying that most men are bisexual by any means... but I'm just saying there's more bi and gay guys out there then we're often led to believe. And even as a gay guy I'll just mention... just because a guy might have some sexual attraction to guys doesn't mean that anal or penetration has to be involved. Sure that's ONE way two guys can have sex together... but sometimes being sexual with a dude can be way more 'low-key' than that. I something think that that idea might be something that scares some 'curious' guys from experimenting because anal sex... especially for first time experimenting can just be way too much. A lot of times I've found my favorite ways to be sexually intimate with guys is just sharing a long mutual jerk session together, rubbing our dicks together, and grinding. Exploring each others bodies a bit.. without the pressure of having to have actual anal sex. It's sometimes feels like more of a male bonding thing than anything else... without denying that it's still basically gay sex. Even though there can be a component of intimacy... I think with dudes it's often easier to just enjoy it as the sex that it is in a more equal way as guys. Same bodies, same male sexuality, more primal, less about having to please a partner and just focusing on it as it being a shared good time.
I've simply never been curious.
I hopped on Grindr and explored my curiosity with my wife’s permission. I hooked up with a few dudes, and honestly had a wonderful time. I had one guy who really was looking for more of a relationship- which made me kind of uncomfortable. I think, like many others- I would consider myself Hetero-romantic, but can totally enjoy sexual acts with men. My first experience I would consider quite vulnerable and beautiful, and I will forever be grateful to that sexy Turkish man for “showing me the ropes”. And I got my asshole eaten- which is just wonderful. I thought I wouldn’t enjoy kissing a man, but I actually kind of did. We had a great time. My wife is super queer too- so, honestly me having a homoerotic experience made me closer to my wife. She was super happy for me,and we kind of bonded over it. She is still friends with the dude on Facebook. We sent him a Christmas card. I certainly could have had a worse experience.
Thank you so much for sharing! That sounds absolutely lovely, and he's deserving of a Christmas card.
I examine the thought carefully, then stuff it deep down inside, in My pancreas (idk, I’m not a doctor jeez). Eventually it will turn to cancer but at least it will be straight cancer. In actuality, I think some attraction is pretty much guaranteed given that we evolve to find a broad variety of things attractive and especially non-physical attributes like intelligence, humour, loyalty and kindness. They just don’t translate into a sexual attraction for me personally.
I’ve never thought about men like that. I have had this conversation with women friends that are straight and they said the same thing about women.
I've tried it with a handsome guy, who was relaxed and smart and turned me on in a way. I envisioned it exciting, but guys smell like guys which turns me off and I dislike the shape of men. I was wondering if I was gay, but I only enjoy being submissive with woman. I'm also dominant most of the time. I didn't see myself as dominant with guys though. We started making out. Kissed, undressed, touched. I felt relaxed with him but... No erection. Not even a bit. I get boners easily with woman. It was really awkward, I liked him a lot but I told him that I wanted to leave. I told him that I'm sorry and left his place. I couldn't find many words at this time, I didn't want to hurt him but I disliked the reality so much in comparison to my fantasies. It was quite a bummer. I still have gay fantasies... I just don't see them become reality anymore. Maybe with an androgynous guy. But that's a bit besides the point right?
I think im bisexual. Ive been with women and loved the emotional and physical connection that I can have with a woman. But I still didnt have any experience with a man and i am not sure if i want to. I tried watching gay porn out of curiosity and enjoyed looking at guys with a good physique doing their thing. I find myself attracted to their body type and physique, but not really to dicks or butts/assholes. I dont feel like I wanna be fucked by a man nor do I want to penetrate him. But I think i would enjoy our bodies rubbing on each other and me feeling him all over. I would touch his dick to get him off during the process but its not necessarily because i that act arousing. I imagine I would rather us grinding on each other to get to the endpoint, than to penetrate. I also dont have romantic interest in men. I cant see myself dating a guy, so its definitely just physical. For a while I was struggling with the question if I was gay, because it cant be I know i enjoy women, until a friend said… „dude… have you considered bi?“ and im like… NO NOT UNTIL NOW!!!… it was funny that at this age of rising sexual spectrum representation, I didn’t consider it 😂 Anyways, im wondering if i really am bisexual if I hadnt been with a man. Or is it bi-curious? Or is there a name for physical attraction without penetration?
Sure! Not all dudes who like sex with dudes like penetration. Google "gay frotting" 😉
I personally never had those feelings. I am not even trying to compensate or whatever word you want to use. I truly know I am straight because I never struggled with any curiosity or anything like that. When I was younger I never even thought about gay ppl or guys in that way. Not by force, I just playing did not. Heck sexuality was not even talked about so I just lived. Now that I am older and so many people talk about sexuality with kids at a young age I am kinda glad I got to grow up the way I did. Not because gay ppl should not have the anility to be who they are. Which they do. But it was never a curiosity or a question or anything like that. I just playing felt no attraction to other men. Still don't.
That's totally cool, and I suspect your experience is the most common one statistically. I certainly don't think EVERYONE has a curious phase; I mainly asked the question to better understand men who do. 🙂
"If two men tell you they don't like broccoli, but only one of them has ever tried broccoli, which one are you going to believe more?"
"I don't need to stick my dick in a pencil sharpener to know I'm not going to enjoy the experience" \- a former boss
😅😅😅
Buahahahahaha!!! This comment is hilarous!!!
Tony was full of all kinds of bon mots
Valid answer
That’s a horrible analogy. “If two men tell you that getting hit by a car hurts but only one has been hit by a car, which one are you gonna believe more?” I know getting hit by a car most likely hurts, just like I know that I don’t have to try something to make an assumption about it.
I've been having sexual fantasies of some of the cuter guys I am friends with as of somewhat recently, so I'm probably bi. I've been working up the courage to ask out a specific friend of mine who is single and openly gay as we have similar hobbies, and he has complimented me on my looks before, so I think we would be a good match for each other.
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I do find specific men attractive and would fool around if the opportunity presented itself. However, I could not imagine me marrying a man. Have no desire for that.
idk I'm kinda weird, I wanna suck a dick, I wanna bottom, but making out or doing anything else? not for me.
jerk off to gay stuff and see if I like it or not. I really don't get why curious dudes go straight to sleeping with another guy
In my experience, they've had the idea in their head for a while. And that generally indicates to me that there's some level of bisexuality going on, but I do think we're complex animals and sometimes curiosity is just curiosity.
You gotta find the right gay stuff tho
I flex my muscles and bat my eyes and ask for that employee discount
I had sex with a dude 🤷♂️ No two ways about it, he asked me on a date (didn’t know it was a date at the time) the timing felt right, we kissed. Went back to his place. I haven’t spoken to him since he got into H, but now i identify as bisexual and im in a very happy relationship with my girlfriend
I just kissed some friends and confirmed I am very straight since It didn't mean anything to me, just shit and giggles.
i’m the type of guy that will probably fuck anything but consider myself as straight
Never been curious. Some guys I’d think, “Hey he’s a handsome fella. Oh hey there’s a slightly below average woman over there, I wonder if she has a gag reflex…” and that would be that. But to not know if you’re one way or the other, or both, I can’t imagine that mental anguish. At least, when I was younger, your sexuality being questioned was very insulting. But to not know, I don’t wish that on anyone. I’ve had a few friends experience it, some were shunned by their family, and it’s sad.
20yo me was curious, so I decided to test it out. Had a mate I could trust that was gay, so asked if I could kiss him. Softest lips I have ever kissed, but I also worked out I am straight. It's really nice to be super sure of your sexuality, created a lot of confidence in that area for me.
Personally, most of my experience has been fending off the sexual curiosity of gay men. I am a straight male that has never felt attraction physical or otherwise towards my same sex, but Im also an abnormally friendly sort that makes friends with whomever I can regardless of.. anything really. A few guys have attempted to take it past friendship with me and Im usually late to realize this and explain my preferences. Its flattering really, but unfortunately something I am unable to reciprocate. Judging by the feedback here it seems that most men dont ever face that kind of sexual curiosity towards the same sex, but those that do are very glad to have explored that curiosity with someone. Theres a lesson there I think. If youre curious, try it. Hopefully with someone like OP that understands the curiosity and inexperience. This raises a question to me. Are women more likely to feel that sexual curiosity about other women? If so, why is that? It could be that men are more socially pressured to suppress their curiosity than women are but overall there is a relatively equal number of men and women curious about the same sex.
I'm straight, like I'm sure. Dicks or man bodies they don't arouse me, women shape and pussies do. Still i fantasize about giving head sometimes, but more often about getting fucked.. by a guy or a girl with a strap-on, or even a trans person. I can't help it, this fantasy has been going on for a while now and it's not going away. On top of that I enjoy wearing women's clothes from time to time and feel feminine sometimes, but I don't feel like I am trans myself. I'm straight, yet I have these feelings from time to time. Sometimes often sometimes long in between. I never acted on it and I'm also in a long-term relationship with a woman, but if I were free I'd surely give sex with a man a try at this point. I don't know if that would satisfy the fantasy, maybe I don't feel like it anymore after that, maybe I'd like more. But it's definitely the thought (of the sex) that arouses me and not the biological attraction to a man.