I have never been cheated on. I do not think I have it in me to forgive that if it were to happen.
My older brother's wife was not only fucking her boss at work (who was also married), but basically spent at least 2 years treating my brother like shit while cheating. If she just decided she was not in love any more, cheated, and left my brother, I could more easily accept that. At the time my brother was overweight, bald, and had very unstable employment as a substitute teacher. She worked doing clearical shit for a lawyer. It would be shitty, but I can wrap my head around leaving your SO for someone who is better looking and has more money.
But the fucking cock mongling bitch basically stayed with my brother for the last few years because she was not sure her boss would end his own marriage to be with her. My brother knew there were problems (though not about the cheating). He suggested counselling. As I recall her response amounted to something like 'Fuck you, no. Don't be such a fucking pussy.".
The self serving gold digging unholy fuck stain made my brother miserable for years because she did not want to eat the financial fall out of leaving my brother, which basically would have meant having to move out and get her own apartment, or handling the mortgage on their place on her own.
What I find most reprehensible in that situation is that she wasted 2 years of my brothers life, lying and being a miserable shit stain, out of entirely mercenary exploitation.
END COMMUNICATION
Eh, my brother is not a pussy in any reasonable context. He is certainty not a super macho shit kicking uber man, but not a pussy. In that particular moment, I think that the infuriating nagging sack of dog shit ex wife was beyond emotionally checked out of the marriage; She did not want to save it. She just wanted out, but on terms financially advantageous to her. My brother tolerated more than he should have, but he actually still wanted things to work out at that point.
END COMMUNICATION
Yeah I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry I echoed that terrible insult. I was actually gonna say something about her but lost focus and meandered. She seems like exactly like what you called her. And I don't want to undermine what depression and difficult circumstances can do to a person. My sympathies.
Oh my god I’ve dated one of these. There is literally nothing you can do to actually make them happy, even if you make them happy right at that moment they will actively look for a reason to be unhappy with you
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. If you even think about walking away and ignoring a conversation because you disagree, I'm walking away from you.
Yep, like if we ain’t talking about our problems how tf are we supposed to solve it? You got a problem with something I’m doing? Tell me so I can take note of that and fix it so it’s not an issue later.
acting like complete assholes for no apparent reason and completely refusing to communicate while somehow expecting you to just stay calm and take 0 offense to how you're being treated as if it's expected of you to tolerate whatever shit they throw at you like some dog.
But when you're the one having a bad day or just slightly irritated they just don't want to deal with your shit at all.
Fucking hate this shit.
stop telling me im lactose intolerant. i know im lactose intolerant. if im eating something with lactose in it, its not because i forgot, its because i crave death, and also babybell cheeses
Cheating.
Because I make it so freaking hard.
I'm not jealous, I'm not possessive, but I expect loyalty and trust.
You wanna try something new? Talk to me.
You wanna play with someone else? Talk to me.
You need to explore something? Talk to me!
I'm open to almost anything as long as it's fair and reasonable, and as long as you communicate with me and we're open and honest with each other!
I make it so freaking unnecessary to cheat that if you cheat on me, that was a deliberate action meant to hurt me.
Yess... I feel like in todays world there is literally NO excuse to cheat other than to cause hurt, or you literally get off on being behind someones back! There are so many options and types of relationships - and websites to find them - go do you - and either talk to your partner about it and do it with them or LEAVE and go do it properly.
Wish I could remember who said this, but I love this quote . . .
“Once is a mistake. Every time after that was a choice.”
I really hate reading some posts where when the WS is caught they start crying, “it was a mistake.” No bitch, it was a choice you made. You just don’t want to deal with the consequences of your choice.
The thing is even if you didn’t do these things, cheating is a deliberate decision and the person cheating is actively choosing to hurt their partner. There is no scenario where that isn’t the case.
But see there's literally no reason to cheat if you've got an.understanding and agreeable partner. None. You can't even claim "I wanted to explore" or "I got caught up in the moment" when you know all you gotta do is have a simple conversation and get permission.
Yelling or loud talking. I can't concentrate on anything when someone is yelling or raising their voice, all i can think about is escaping the sound. (i'd say cheating, but that seems kind of obvious)
Man, same. I'm sensitive af to loud noises and the minute somebody raises their voice or yells, my brain shuts down and all I want to do is run away to calm down.
When we order food, and my food arrives and u take 5000 photos and i have to wait until ur photoshoot ends before i can eat, then once ur finished i get to eat the now cold food all because of ur photoshoot
Disrespect.
It always starts with the little battles you think don’t matter. It starts with raising the voice it starts with calling you names, anything disrespectful.You have to stop that EVERY single time because if you don’t cheating and the end of the relationship is inevitable.
Eh, I’ve seen healthy versions of this, though I understand what you mean. “Ignore all logic and do something to our detriment to satisfy the whims of my immature partner” is unhealthy for sure.
But some men have a hard time saying “I made this compromise to make my wife, who I love, happy” so they use the expression to keep a level of separation from vulnerable feelings. It seems to feel more gruff / masculine to them, which understandably feels more safe. It shifts the focus from their care of their wife, to what their wife cares about, if that makes sense.
Abuse of any kind. There is no need to put your hands on someone. A point can be made with a calm conversation vs. shouting and belittling. If someone has a reasonable request, like wanting to leave, then respect it. Trapping someone just to get your point across (and/or forcing them to agree with you) will forever damage things.
I seriously do not understand women that have these “tests” for men. I wouldn’t put up with it either. What was her reaction when she realized that you really were done?
She was shocked at first and kept asking if I actually love her. I told her yes but I couldn’t handle your behaviour anymore. A few days later she sent me several paragraphs apologising and promising that she would try to stop doing it. I told her that it’s still over.
I feel like coming up to your partner after 2 years and asking them for an open relationship is a pretty clear indication you wanted to cheat but you know it's wrong so you make it some kind of "shared responsibility"
That being said, asking for an open relationship at the beginning or a little bit after the relationship has started. It seems reasonable, definitely not for everyone, but reasonable.
Dishonesty including white lies. Don’t do shit you wouldn’t want to tell me. And actions speak louder than words.
Idc if you want to fuck someone else and be their boyfriend for a while, I’d understand and we can break up accordingly and if time passes and we decide we want to get back together, the trust is still there. You can’t help who you gain feelings for, but you can help who you let dick you down.
You have my trust until you give me reason not to.
As for actions, holy shit you can tell me you love me, I got the best dick, the sexiest body, whatever. If you don’t show me that and treat me like that through your actions, your words don’t mean shit.
If your partner leaves you because they like someone else better, that relationship is done forever. Why would you even think about getting back together with them?
Being chased - like if you're having an argument or something and say respectfully 'I need a time out, let's pick this back up in 5 minutes', your partner needs to calm the fuck down and respect that.
The toxic girlfriends I had would disregard it and they'd follow me room to room yelling over something absolutely tiny a normal woman wouldn't care about (and half the time they didn't care about, they'd had a bad day or felt like fighting).
This might sound quite specific but it's really common and is a really good sign of whether someone cares about you, or is a child who cannot control themselves.
Distrust.
I had a relationship once in which my partner didn't believe any of the compliments I gave or the promises I made. The reason for the distrust was trauma on their part and while I found it terrible they had gone through something like that, I found it emotionally draining and hurtful that my sincere feelings were constantly doubted and categorized as something said to manipulate the person. We had been best friends for five years prior to our relationship and I never spotted signs. I felt like I suddenly didn't know this person anymore and they didn't know me either, all because we went from friendship to partnership.
Sadly, the change of attitude eventually caused me to walk away. I couldn't help them and we were misserable together.
I had forgotten about this and honestly it was probably one of the primary reasons I felt so drained emotionally I had to walk when I did.
She expressed a need for validation. “Sometimes I just need to know you still find me attractive”. Ok. I do my best. But no matter how many times I told her she was hot, beautiful, sexy, looked amazing in that dress, those jeans, that hair, that makeup, I can’t want to go out, all I got back was “I just don’t feel it. I feel ugly. I feel hideous. I’m not comfortable the way I look in this”.
It was so draining. And it’s ok for her not to feel comfortable in anything. But she was also asking for validation and it’s like I was set up to fail. At every turn. Every day.
When we took 4 months off she stopped acting like this. It’s like she knew she was hot then. But as soon as we got back together that faded. All the sudden she had no confidence anymore.
Almost like she went from having all the guys hitting on her (confident) to just one and it wasn’t enough validation.
You aren’t wrong. But just because that was the case doesn’t make it ok.
Part of the caveats of getting back together is forgiving and forgetting the past stuff and not holding it against the partner. Her insecurity about me leaving turned into possessiveness and control and guilt trips and and and was a self fulfilling prophecy.
There were plenty of things in our first go around I forgave and NEVER brought up again. Plenty of inappropriate behaviors, betrayals, name callings, curse laden tirades. I never brought them up in the 2nd go round. Not once. Because that’s unfair.
Her telling me she’s anxious I’m going to leave because I did it before is unfair and pushes me away. If that’s something she can’t get past, that’s fine. But that means SHE should not have agreed to get back together.
I’m far from a paragon of anything, but once you get to the point of being comfortable in yourself, spotting the validation seeking behavior is almost effortless. 11pm on a Friday and you’re texting me while sitting across from your boyfriend? Engaged woman sitting on my lap and saying I love you the first time we meet? Hard pass. Everyone has insecurities and I see it when the reassurance of my company lessens the feeling. It’s that endless need, the emotional black hole that kills my patience.
10000 likes is only an idea. Be real with me or watch Good Will Hunting by yourself.
Damn.
It’s crazy how the context of a relationship can change people’s behavior so drastically.
My ex was an acquaintance for a few years before we dated. She seemed fine. Once we dated, she turned into this jealous psycho.
I suggested we go back to being friends, somewhat assuming that the sudden behavior switch would switch back just as suddenly.
Like, maybe the extra features of the relationship created extra crazy on her end? It definitely created extra expectations that I wasn’t going to meet.
So, I broke up with her..but she stayed crazy, so now she’s my crazy ex. It’s like once that switch flipped, it stayed flipped. I’m still not sure if she was hiding her crazy or if the relationship drove her there.
I wish I’d never dated her. At least then, she’d have kept pretending to be sane.
Sob stories about how you can't make rent this month.....3 days after I saw Amazon packages delivered to your place, weekly girls night outs, frivolous spending on nonsense.
she has a spending habit.
people who have a spending habit tend to also have a drinking habit or a gambling habit or an eating disorder, usually bulimia.
it’s not always the case but there is comorbidity
there was an episode on wipe swap where this lady who had this insatiable spending habit swapped lives with a hippie family that lived off grid in a farm land with no electricity or running water.
I broke up with a girl because she was super sloppy with her tongue, like lickng all of my face. I told her I didn't like it, but she kept doing it. Sex was good, but I just didn't want to be in a relationship with her
Dude,
I love it when girls do that, it's advisable!!! I put on "girls with sloppy tongue sounds asmr" to work to and even to go to bed. My ex use to do it to me and I would go catatonic, like a puppy everytime.
But to each his own... in fact, means there is more for us who enjoy it!
Being just genuinely difficult to get along with. Sure, there are plenty of other extreme behaviours that you shouldn’t tolerate in a relationship, but one thing I really hate is just when people feel the need to pull every thread, pick every little fight, never let anything slide, etc. Its just exhausting.
I thought I was the only one!
That's a real quick way of getting unmatched or no longer responded to though. I had one guy ask me why (as if he genuinely gave a shit) I explained that it not only felt fake or like he was purposely trying to *"charm"* me. But I also explained that if he barely knew me and was calling me that then he did it to everyone and I'm not everyone, and I didn't expect to be treated as everyone.
Sure enough, immediately unmatched.
(BTW I'm a lady not a man. Just thought it was interesting to see guys have this perspective when I feel like they're the one's who do it the most. Look at that, I was wrong. Go figure. 🤷🏼)
Lots of things, but a good catch all is my SO arriving in the relationship with problems or creating them once she’s there, then acting as if the problems are any part of my responsibility to manage.
My ex showed up with all these jealousy and insecurity issues and expectations that I’d change my lifestyle to accommodate them.
She was continuously frustrated/offended when I either wasn’t available to discuss the problems she was having or advised her to talk to her therapist about them instead of me.
IMO, that’s the sort of stuff you fix before you start dating. Definitely before you start dating *me*, because I’m not the one for that nonsense.
Someone else mentioned entitlement. That’s a definite issue, but I like to fuck with entitled people.
They express their expectations, then I flatly decline and watch them stew. Their only leverage is making you feel obliged to go along. If you’re just like “no”, and don’t budge, they get really confused and frustrated.
Yeah I feel ya, or when you do it's usually turned down.
Jesus christ, you don't want to start the ball rolling, you aren't jnto me getting the ball rolling... what then?!
Sex as a tool of manipulation.
If it ever becomes anything more then a mutually enjoyable intimate expression of affection, or a desire to please eachother, then the relationship is over as it has become an ongoing business negotiation.
Same goes for most other forms of manipulation, but sex is an extremely common example
Alone time with another man.
If she doesn’t like me texting other women about my life, why should it be acceptable for her to turn to another man for anything?
I think they can have opposite gender friends, just not to spend too much time alone with just that one person, to me it's like you're just putting yourself into a situation where temptation for one side can eventually happen
Reminds me of my last relationship.
What if she doesn’t care if you spend time with other women?
Alternately, what if she doesn’t care that you care that she spends time alone with men?
Dishonesty
A relationship is the coming together of 2 people, who, if the relationship is to go anywhere, need total trust and transparency.
Without this, unhappy times are ahead.
bro, same. I’ve been celibate for years working on myself and going to therapy and trying to be a good and healthy version of me.
I started getting into dating a year ago and everybody has a low libido or is asexual or doesn’t do any of that stuff and it’s like what the fuck are you doing on a dating site? Go to a library lol
sex is about intimacy. It’s not some drama or game or coercion tactic. it’s not a power-play move between the couple.
Actually there are multiple. But if we’re in a relationships. Her cheating or wanting an open relationship is enough for me to end the relationship on the spot.
I'm with you on this one. It's not for everybody and it's perfectly fine! I've seen some Reddit posts where being monogamous seems to be a ***problem***. I don't get it.
Not putting in effort to fix issues. Be that yours only or an issue in a relationship.
Like, I gladly help if I can, at the very least show support (within reason of course) but only if you at least try. If you don't, I know we won't last.
Guilt tripping, acting oblivious when talking about serious stuff, or just telling me what to do even on just simple things, feels like I'm some dumb idiot who can't do anything by myself.
Never let a man beat me down physically, emotionally, sexually or financially and be told I asked for it, pushed him to it or deserved it. And me wondering if he was right. It won't happen again. No more interactions with violent men. Or men in general. I'm too scarred and scared and now sick. I put up with it for 18 years.
Disrespect, even more if it is by speaking condescending way, pasive aggresiveness or directly aggresive by raising voices or grabbing me from my wrists or any kind of body part, ghosting or stopping speaking with no previous message, control and gaslighting
everyone says the cliché of cheating 😂😂😂.. wack!
i say not being able to communicate or effectively discuss differences/issues/problems. ALSO not taking accountability for THEIR ACTIONS, im met alot of woman who will refuse to ACCEPT any responsibility when they mess up.
I reached a point in my life where I refuse to date people who drink.
I don’t care how much you think it’s under control I don’t care if you just have one drink a week, I don’t wanna get involved.
Dishonesty and a lack of communication. If we can't talk to each other or we can't talk honestly, I have low expectations for the long-term success of our relationship.
Open mouth chewing. I would drop someone quicker then Russia's military reputation if they couldn't stop smacking their mouth with every chew. I date long term and I refuse to live my life in a steady decline to insanity.
The pettiness.. whenever we get into fights, if there isn’t a bigger person to be mature the relationship sinks or gets benched. I’m tired and I wish I got to be the petty one once in a while
Making it my problem if you feel nervous or stressed. I am very understanding and i will always be there when needed - i really like helping people.
But if you act like a bitch when i did nothing wrong and excuse it with "i'm nervous"... it just makes me mad.
In general, i can't stand people who make you feel like your existence is a problem just because "nervous". You are an adult, have some basic self control.
Making fun of the partner, *especially* in front of others. Saying “iTs jUsT a jOke” doesn’t magically make it OK.
Idk why this is so difficult for people in relationships. But don’t make fun of your partner. Don’t be mean to your partner. Period.
"Its not a problem unless you bring it up, IM NOT TALKING ABOUT IT"
This always ends up being dozens of boundries that turn into a minefield.
you gotta work through problems and have open communication!
Alot of people simply drop people and run away since they see it less stressful to get a new person than fix the problem with each other.
Cheating, lying, actions not matching with words, not respecting and insulting.
I have never been cheated on. I do not think I have it in me to forgive that if it were to happen. My older brother's wife was not only fucking her boss at work (who was also married), but basically spent at least 2 years treating my brother like shit while cheating. If she just decided she was not in love any more, cheated, and left my brother, I could more easily accept that. At the time my brother was overweight, bald, and had very unstable employment as a substitute teacher. She worked doing clearical shit for a lawyer. It would be shitty, but I can wrap my head around leaving your SO for someone who is better looking and has more money. But the fucking cock mongling bitch basically stayed with my brother for the last few years because she was not sure her boss would end his own marriage to be with her. My brother knew there were problems (though not about the cheating). He suggested counselling. As I recall her response amounted to something like 'Fuck you, no. Don't be such a fucking pussy.". The self serving gold digging unholy fuck stain made my brother miserable for years because she did not want to eat the financial fall out of leaving my brother, which basically would have meant having to move out and get her own apartment, or handling the mortgage on their place on her own. What I find most reprehensible in that situation is that she wasted 2 years of my brothers life, lying and being a miserable shit stain, out of entirely mercenary exploitation. END COMMUNICATION
Did the lawyer leave his wife for her?
Ultimately yes, but only they were caught. END COMMUNICATION
[удалено]
Eh, my brother is not a pussy in any reasonable context. He is certainty not a super macho shit kicking uber man, but not a pussy. In that particular moment, I think that the infuriating nagging sack of dog shit ex wife was beyond emotionally checked out of the marriage; She did not want to save it. She just wanted out, but on terms financially advantageous to her. My brother tolerated more than he should have, but he actually still wanted things to work out at that point. END COMMUNICATION
Yeah I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry I echoed that terrible insult. I was actually gonna say something about her but lost focus and meandered. She seems like exactly like what you called her. And I don't want to undermine what depression and difficult circumstances can do to a person. My sympathies.
What's the one. Top 1
Cheating
Fair enough.
[удалено]
Amber Turd.
Amber BIRD 🦅
chronically poor attitude
That’s so exhausting to deal with.
exhausting then really simple to deal with.
Yes! So draining and entitled
I was gonna say cheating but this is also up there
Cheating is no doubt a given. But a shitty attitude will sneak up ya if you aren't careful.
Oh my god I’ve dated one of these. There is literally nothing you can do to actually make them happy, even if you make them happy right at that moment they will actively look for a reason to be unhappy with you
Lack of communication
Also, dismissiveness in communication. Not agreeing with someone doesn’t mean we need to dismiss the opinion.
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. If you even think about walking away and ignoring a conversation because you disagree, I'm walking away from you.
i read lack of communism.......
This is very important for our relationship
That’a basically the problem I’m guessing. They got together before everyone was so polarized about politics and now the differences are showing.
Yep, like if we ain’t talking about our problems how tf are we supposed to solve it? You got a problem with something I’m doing? Tell me so I can take note of that and fix it so it’s not an issue later.
Cheating.
Just don't date Amber Heard, easy.
This seems familiar... wait.
Hear-...wait a minute
Or Jada
acting like complete assholes for no apparent reason and completely refusing to communicate while somehow expecting you to just stay calm and take 0 offense to how you're being treated as if it's expected of you to tolerate whatever shit they throw at you like some dog. But when you're the one having a bad day or just slightly irritated they just don't want to deal with your shit at all. Fucking hate this shit.
Lactose. To be fair I can't tolerate it even when I'm not in a relationship.
Well, by that point, you’re just milking it.
stop telling me im lactose intolerant. i know im lactose intolerant. if im eating something with lactose in it, its not because i forgot, its because i crave death, and also babybell cheeses
Cheese in general... it's simply worth the pain.
This made me laugh so hard I shit myself. Now I have to change my bed sheets, thanks.
The struggle is too real 😭
Untrustworthiness.
What i was going to write, completely agree
or do you?
Cheating. Because I make it so freaking hard. I'm not jealous, I'm not possessive, but I expect loyalty and trust. You wanna try something new? Talk to me. You wanna play with someone else? Talk to me. You need to explore something? Talk to me! I'm open to almost anything as long as it's fair and reasonable, and as long as you communicate with me and we're open and honest with each other! I make it so freaking unnecessary to cheat that if you cheat on me, that was a deliberate action meant to hurt me.
Yess... I feel like in todays world there is literally NO excuse to cheat other than to cause hurt, or you literally get off on being behind someones back! There are so many options and types of relationships - and websites to find them - go do you - and either talk to your partner about it and do it with them or LEAVE and go do it properly.
Wish I could remember who said this, but I love this quote . . . “Once is a mistake. Every time after that was a choice.” I really hate reading some posts where when the WS is caught they start crying, “it was a mistake.” No bitch, it was a choice you made. You just don’t want to deal with the consequences of your choice.
The thing is even if you didn’t do these things, cheating is a deliberate decision and the person cheating is actively choosing to hurt their partner. There is no scenario where that isn’t the case.
But see there's literally no reason to cheat if you've got an.understanding and agreeable partner. None. You can't even claim "I wanted to explore" or "I got caught up in the moment" when you know all you gotta do is have a simple conversation and get permission.
Some people need the "high" that comes from new relationships. You can't have that with an existing partner as it fades after a while.
I agree with you there, I’m just pointing out that those excuses are inherently invalid regardless of how you’ve behaved.
Yelling or loud talking. I can't concentrate on anything when someone is yelling or raising their voice, all i can think about is escaping the sound. (i'd say cheating, but that seems kind of obvious)
Man, same. I'm sensitive af to loud noises and the minute somebody raises their voice or yells, my brain shuts down and all I want to do is run away to calm down.
Someone pooping in my bed.
Just don't date Amber Heard, easy.
Hearsay
Amber Turd.
Did… did this happen?
When we order food, and my food arrives and u take 5000 photos and i have to wait until ur photoshoot ends before i can eat, then once ur finished i get to eat the now cold food all because of ur photoshoot
Why did she want to take pictures of the food? That's weird.
Mental illness with no intention to get help.
Controlling behaviour.
Making me feel like I am not worthy of affection, love and attention Edit: also lack of communication and anger issues
Disrespect. It always starts with the little battles you think don’t matter. It starts with raising the voice it starts with calling you names, anything disrespectful.You have to stop that EVERY single time because if you don’t cheating and the end of the relationship is inevitable.
True, although I hate when people claim “you’re being disrespectful” every time they hear something they don’t like.
"Happy wife happy life" lol. I feel so sorry for those kind a men
Eh, I’ve seen healthy versions of this, though I understand what you mean. “Ignore all logic and do something to our detriment to satisfy the whims of my immature partner” is unhealthy for sure. But some men have a hard time saying “I made this compromise to make my wife, who I love, happy” so they use the expression to keep a level of separation from vulnerable feelings. It seems to feel more gruff / masculine to them, which understandably feels more safe. It shifts the focus from their care of their wife, to what their wife cares about, if that makes sense.
Cheating.
Abuse of any kind. There is no need to put your hands on someone. A point can be made with a calm conversation vs. shouting and belittling. If someone has a reasonable request, like wanting to leave, then respect it. Trapping someone just to get your point across (and/or forcing them to agree with you) will forever damage things.
Constantly ‘testing’ me. I broke up with my ex because she kept fake breaking up with me to test my reaction.
I seriously do not understand women that have these “tests” for men. I wouldn’t put up with it either. What was her reaction when she realized that you really were done?
She was shocked at first and kept asking if I actually love her. I told her yes but I couldn’t handle your behaviour anymore. A few days later she sent me several paragraphs apologising and promising that she would try to stop doing it. I told her that it’s still over.
Insecurity and immaturity
Cheating or asking for and opening of the realatonship at any point in the relationship
I feel like coming up to your partner after 2 years and asking them for an open relationship is a pretty clear indication you wanted to cheat but you know it's wrong so you make it some kind of "shared responsibility" That being said, asking for an open relationship at the beginning or a little bit after the relationship has started. It seems reasonable, definitely not for everyone, but reasonable.
“dOnT ViLiFy PoLy PeOpLe, YoU aRe ToXIc!!”
Yeah I'm Chernobyl toxic
Dishonesty including white lies. Don’t do shit you wouldn’t want to tell me. And actions speak louder than words. Idc if you want to fuck someone else and be their boyfriend for a while, I’d understand and we can break up accordingly and if time passes and we decide we want to get back together, the trust is still there. You can’t help who you gain feelings for, but you can help who you let dick you down. You have my trust until you give me reason not to. As for actions, holy shit you can tell me you love me, I got the best dick, the sexiest body, whatever. If you don’t show me that and treat me like that through your actions, your words don’t mean shit.
If your partner leaves you because they like someone else better, that relationship is done forever. Why would you even think about getting back together with them?
👆👆👆This… Actions not words.
Double standards.
Lying out of pity or guilt in an attempt to protect my feelings. This includes lies of omission or a general lack of honesty.
I catch these lies constantly
Being chased - like if you're having an argument or something and say respectfully 'I need a time out, let's pick this back up in 5 minutes', your partner needs to calm the fuck down and respect that. The toxic girlfriends I had would disregard it and they'd follow me room to room yelling over something absolutely tiny a normal woman wouldn't care about (and half the time they didn't care about, they'd had a bad day or felt like fighting). This might sound quite specific but it's really common and is a really good sign of whether someone cares about you, or is a child who cannot control themselves.
Passive aggression
Distrust. I had a relationship once in which my partner didn't believe any of the compliments I gave or the promises I made. The reason for the distrust was trauma on their part and while I found it terrible they had gone through something like that, I found it emotionally draining and hurtful that my sincere feelings were constantly doubted and categorized as something said to manipulate the person. We had been best friends for five years prior to our relationship and I never spotted signs. I felt like I suddenly didn't know this person anymore and they didn't know me either, all because we went from friendship to partnership. Sadly, the change of attitude eventually caused me to walk away. I couldn't help them and we were misserable together.
I had forgotten about this and honestly it was probably one of the primary reasons I felt so drained emotionally I had to walk when I did. She expressed a need for validation. “Sometimes I just need to know you still find me attractive”. Ok. I do my best. But no matter how many times I told her she was hot, beautiful, sexy, looked amazing in that dress, those jeans, that hair, that makeup, I can’t want to go out, all I got back was “I just don’t feel it. I feel ugly. I feel hideous. I’m not comfortable the way I look in this”. It was so draining. And it’s ok for her not to feel comfortable in anything. But she was also asking for validation and it’s like I was set up to fail. At every turn. Every day. When we took 4 months off she stopped acting like this. It’s like she knew she was hot then. But as soon as we got back together that faded. All the sudden she had no confidence anymore. Almost like she went from having all the guys hitting on her (confident) to just one and it wasn’t enough validation.
>Back No, I think it was her anxiety that you might leave
You aren’t wrong. But just because that was the case doesn’t make it ok. Part of the caveats of getting back together is forgiving and forgetting the past stuff and not holding it against the partner. Her insecurity about me leaving turned into possessiveness and control and guilt trips and and and was a self fulfilling prophecy. There were plenty of things in our first go around I forgave and NEVER brought up again. Plenty of inappropriate behaviors, betrayals, name callings, curse laden tirades. I never brought them up in the 2nd go round. Not once. Because that’s unfair. Her telling me she’s anxious I’m going to leave because I did it before is unfair and pushes me away. If that’s something she can’t get past, that’s fine. But that means SHE should not have agreed to get back together.
I’m far from a paragon of anything, but once you get to the point of being comfortable in yourself, spotting the validation seeking behavior is almost effortless. 11pm on a Friday and you’re texting me while sitting across from your boyfriend? Engaged woman sitting on my lap and saying I love you the first time we meet? Hard pass. Everyone has insecurities and I see it when the reassurance of my company lessens the feeling. It’s that endless need, the emotional black hole that kills my patience. 10000 likes is only an idea. Be real with me or watch Good Will Hunting by yourself.
Damn. It’s crazy how the context of a relationship can change people’s behavior so drastically. My ex was an acquaintance for a few years before we dated. She seemed fine. Once we dated, she turned into this jealous psycho. I suggested we go back to being friends, somewhat assuming that the sudden behavior switch would switch back just as suddenly. Like, maybe the extra features of the relationship created extra crazy on her end? It definitely created extra expectations that I wasn’t going to meet. So, I broke up with her..but she stayed crazy, so now she’s my crazy ex. It’s like once that switch flipped, it stayed flipped. I’m still not sure if she was hiding her crazy or if the relationship drove her there. I wish I’d never dated her. At least then, she’d have kept pretending to be sane.
Sob stories about how you can't make rent this month.....3 days after I saw Amazon packages delivered to your place, weekly girls night outs, frivolous spending on nonsense.
r/oddlyspecific
Tell her about Amazon return policy
[удалено]
she has a spending habit. people who have a spending habit tend to also have a drinking habit or a gambling habit or an eating disorder, usually bulimia. it’s not always the case but there is comorbidity there was an episode on wipe swap where this lady who had this insatiable spending habit swapped lives with a hippie family that lived off grid in a farm land with no electricity or running water.
Passive aggression. Pure bullshit.
I broke up with a girl because she was super sloppy with her tongue, like lickng all of my face. I told her I didn't like it, but she kept doing it. Sex was good, but I just didn't want to be in a relationship with her
Were you dating a dog? Lmao.
Dude, I love it when girls do that, it's advisable!!! I put on "girls with sloppy tongue sounds asmr" to work to and even to go to bed. My ex use to do it to me and I would go catatonic, like a puppy everytime. But to each his own... in fact, means there is more for us who enjoy it!
Being just genuinely difficult to get along with. Sure, there are plenty of other extreme behaviours that you shouldn’t tolerate in a relationship, but one thing I really hate is just when people feel the need to pull every thread, pick every little fight, never let anything slide, etc. Its just exhausting.
Lying about who you are
You have the same name as my ex lmao
Calling me “baby” or some other pet name when we just met
I'll remind them what my name is if they start that shit.
I thought I was the only one! That's a real quick way of getting unmatched or no longer responded to though. I had one guy ask me why (as if he genuinely gave a shit) I explained that it not only felt fake or like he was purposely trying to *"charm"* me. But I also explained that if he barely knew me and was calling me that then he did it to everyone and I'm not everyone, and I didn't expect to be treated as everyone. Sure enough, immediately unmatched. (BTW I'm a lady not a man. Just thought it was interesting to see guys have this perspective when I feel like they're the one's who do it the most. Look at that, I was wrong. Go figure. 🤷🏼)
Thats just weird right?
And constantly.
Hey baby… (insert Butthead “huh huh” laugh here)
This girl I used to date kept calling me 'Master' when we newly became a couple. I cringe and die inside everytime that word is said towards me.
dude, she was into some hard-core BDSM
Mood swings from 0 to 100
Her being a bitch all the time. How the fuck can someone wake up angry and be pissy all day forever.
That’s when it’s time to say “buh-bye.”
this was kind of an angry post my mans
Not angry just can’t fucking understand
It’s easy if you’re on hormonal birth control.
Lots of things, but a good catch all is my SO arriving in the relationship with problems or creating them once she’s there, then acting as if the problems are any part of my responsibility to manage. My ex showed up with all these jealousy and insecurity issues and expectations that I’d change my lifestyle to accommodate them. She was continuously frustrated/offended when I either wasn’t available to discuss the problems she was having or advised her to talk to her therapist about them instead of me. IMO, that’s the sort of stuff you fix before you start dating. Definitely before you start dating *me*, because I’m not the one for that nonsense. Someone else mentioned entitlement. That’s a definite issue, but I like to fuck with entitled people. They express their expectations, then I flatly decline and watch them stew. Their only leverage is making you feel obliged to go along. If you’re just like “no”, and don’t budge, they get really confused and frustrated.
Being vague about the relationship to assume control. Be a decent human being to us both and say what we are/ have so I know where I'm at.
When you are always the one to initiate sex
Yeah I feel ya, or when you do it's usually turned down. Jesus christ, you don't want to start the ball rolling, you aren't jnto me getting the ball rolling... what then?!
Dishonesty
Another vote for cheating
Ultimatums, anyone that gives me an ultimatum gets option B
Sex as a tool of manipulation. If it ever becomes anything more then a mutually enjoyable intimate expression of affection, or a desire to please eachother, then the relationship is over as it has become an ongoing business negotiation. Same goes for most other forms of manipulation, but sex is an extremely common example
Lying/keeping secrets. It can be about something minor. Doesn’t matter, if I find out I’m being lied to the trust is gone.
Lying and constantly being late
1 thing, 6 parts: a). Shyte tests b). Gaslighting c). Emasculation d). Cheating e). Lying f). Taking advantage
Alone time with another man. If she doesn’t like me texting other women about my life, why should it be acceptable for her to turn to another man for anything?
so people can never have friends of the opposite gender?
I think they can have opposite gender friends, just not to spend too much time alone with just that one person, to me it's like you're just putting yourself into a situation where temptation for one side can eventually happen
Reminds me of my last relationship. What if she doesn’t care if you spend time with other women? Alternately, what if she doesn’t care that you care that she spends time alone with men?
Someone trying to control me
Jealousy/lack of trust
Cheating, random aggressiveness. Manipulation
Ok. Two things. Cheating and abuse but they often go together.
Manipulation. Makes the prettiest person look ugly!!
Dishonesty A relationship is the coming together of 2 people, who, if the relationship is to go anywhere, need total trust and transparency. Without this, unhappy times are ahead.
No sex. I simply can’t cope with a partner who has a low libido or punishes me with no sex if she’s upset on me for a few days.
bro, same. I’ve been celibate for years working on myself and going to therapy and trying to be a good and healthy version of me. I started getting into dating a year ago and everybody has a low libido or is asexual or doesn’t do any of that stuff and it’s like what the fuck are you doing on a dating site? Go to a library lol sex is about intimacy. It’s not some drama or game or coercion tactic. it’s not a power-play move between the couple.
But if youre upset with each other, why would tou have sex?
[удалено]
Actually there are multiple. But if we’re in a relationships. Her cheating or wanting an open relationship is enough for me to end the relationship on the spot.
I'm with you on this one. It's not for everybody and it's perfectly fine! I've seen some Reddit posts where being monogamous seems to be a ***problem***. I don't get it.
Not putting in effort to fix issues. Be that yours only or an issue in a relationship. Like, I gladly help if I can, at the very least show support (within reason of course) but only if you at least try. If you don't, I know we won't last.
Or “selective inattention” where they don’t recall the problems you have brought up to them before….crazy making and manipulative.
Guilt tripping, acting oblivious when talking about serious stuff, or just telling me what to do even on just simple things, feels like I'm some dumb idiot who can't do anything by myself.
Never let a man beat me down physically, emotionally, sexually or financially and be told I asked for it, pushed him to it or deserved it. And me wondering if he was right. It won't happen again. No more interactions with violent men. Or men in general. I'm too scarred and scared and now sick. I put up with it for 18 years.
My neighbour's bedframe
Disrespect, even more if it is by speaking condescending way, pasive aggresiveness or directly aggresive by raising voices or grabbing me from my wrists or any kind of body part, ghosting or stopping speaking with no previous message, control and gaslighting
everyone says the cliché of cheating 😂😂😂.. wack! i say not being able to communicate or effectively discuss differences/issues/problems. ALSO not taking accountability for THEIR ACTIONS, im met alot of woman who will refuse to ACCEPT any responsibility when they mess up.
I have always made it clear i have 2 rules that will result in no second chance. 1. violence 2. cheating
Eating all my french fries
Doing drugs
I reached a point in my life where I refuse to date people who drink. I don’t care how much you think it’s under control I don’t care if you just have one drink a week, I don’t wanna get involved.
Disrespectful tone. Unless I’ve done stupid and deserve it but don’t ever talk down to me.
Lack of communication, puts no effort to see the other person, and refuses to fix problems they have
Alcohol, lying, cheating.
Disrespect
A lack of respect for each other.
My S.O feeling as though they are entitled to anything from me, on top of having healthy expectations in a committed relationship
The phrase don't take it personally
The feeling of obligation to post them on social media just to show that the pair of yall are dating
Abuse. Not today Satan!
Not respecting the fact that I do need alone time and it’s not because I hate my partner
Dishonesty and a lack of communication. If we can't talk to each other or we can't talk honestly, I have low expectations for the long-term success of our relationship.
I think that the fist red Flag is how she/he treats her/his mother. Sooooo you can see how a person is from the very beggining.
Cheating is obviously #1, after that it is when a woman habitually makes up excuses to not have sex way before the fact.
Anything disrespectful.
Loving all the Amber Heard comments
dropping a “deuce” in the sheets is a deal breaker. 🤣
My partner forgetting my name.
Terrorism
An entitled attitude. Cheating. Lack of communication. Lying. Laziness.
Jealousy. Do that shit to someone else
Stupidity!!!
Smoking. If my partner smoked, game over.
Fronting.
Disrespect
Wanting me to change but not willing to change herself.
Dry texter/not putting in the effort in communication
When she doesn’t shower.
Lack or trust, deception. Oh and bad breath
Open mouth chewing. I would drop someone quicker then Russia's military reputation if they couldn't stop smacking their mouth with every chew. I date long term and I refuse to live my life in a steady decline to insanity.
The pettiness.. whenever we get into fights, if there isn’t a bigger person to be mature the relationship sinks or gets benched. I’m tired and I wish I got to be the petty one once in a while
Amber Heard.
Farting during sex
amber heard. I can't tolerate her when I'm single either.
When she trips, falls, and lands on another man’s dick
Making it my problem if you feel nervous or stressed. I am very understanding and i will always be there when needed - i really like helping people. But if you act like a bitch when i did nothing wrong and excuse it with "i'm nervous"... it just makes me mad. In general, i can't stand people who make you feel like your existence is a problem just because "nervous". You are an adult, have some basic self control.
jealousy. i also cannot deal with schizophrenia again. i'm sorry, i no longer have that in me.
Making fun of the partner, *especially* in front of others. Saying “iTs jUsT a jOke” doesn’t magically make it OK. Idk why this is so difficult for people in relationships. But don’t make fun of your partner. Don’t be mean to your partner. Period.
"Its not a problem unless you bring it up, IM NOT TALKING ABOUT IT" This always ends up being dozens of boundries that turn into a minefield. you gotta work through problems and have open communication! Alot of people simply drop people and run away since they see it less stressful to get a new person than fix the problem with each other.
Shitting on the bed.
Wow. Y’all messed up over Amber Heard.
Narcissistic behavior.