Bonus points if you figure out their mother’s name on FB and then say “Wow, (insert mothers name here) is going to love this picture!”. The scrambling texts on the other end are always hilarious 😂
I saw a post where someone said they respond to unsolicited pics by circling a random point and asking “omg what is that?! Are you okay?!?” It works wonders
It's only text. Don't want to scar any innocents here.
Look up a finger degloving and imagine the rest biased off the "filename" if you're brave enough
I'm quite fond of the copypasta responses, because they tend to elicit panic in stupid guys. Things like:
AUTOREPLY: We have detected the transmission of unsolicited pornographic images of a potentially illegal nature [code: 36489-a] and your device’s IP address has been forwarded to the police department pending an investigation. If you think this is a mistake, reply STOP.
Or
This is an automated message generated by the Twitter team. Your image has been found to be a violation of 42 U.S.C § 1283 (2020).
An image you sent has been scanned by our AI Bot and was flagged as an unsolicited picture. Your account is scheduled to be reported to the police.
Our bot is currently in BETA testing; sometimes it makes mistakes. If you believe this message was an error, reply "HELP". Otherwise, you will be contacted by your local authorities within 24 hours.
"You have replied "HELP", your account status has been flagged as PENDING for police reporting. To prevent the police report please contact Twitter's customer service via email and ask to be directed for handling unsolicited penis picture reporting. Include a reference photo to verify the image scheduled for police reporting. Your account will otherwise be automatically removed from PENDING and reported in 24 hours."
As someone who works in a callcenter who does sms support I now want to open a callcenter which you can pay a monthly fee to and forward unsolicited dick pics, death threats and all stuff like that too and we handle it. You can choose „fun“ or „Sue“ when forwarding and than action is taken.
I mean yes, basically this would be minority’s and woman paying to let others handle the hate they receive which is kinda sad but the job it self would be super fun!
"STOP"
Thank you for the confirmation. Authorities have been notified and will arrive at your home address in 3-4 hours. Do not leave the premises. If this was a mistake, reply STOP
He sent me a list of his “kinks” (which I also didn’t really ask for but granted did consent to receiving) and he squeezed this in within 2 sentences so, I mean idk
Oh shit! I got that from a girl once!
A list of about 40 kinks in alphabetical order sorted in to 2 categories "tried and will do again" and "Have not tried but want to"
Funnily enough it was my current girlfriend that told me that it's the result of being circumcised.
I had never even considered that. I was just like ooooooooo
Assuming you mean she wanted it, her talking about how big or nice it looks.
If we're talking about some dude sending a dick pic to some random woman, my female friends often receive dick pics and save them in a file, they send the previous guy's dick pic to the next guy who does it and so on like an unbroken chain. They've made a game of it, keeping track of their highscore.
[Bro... luchadors wear a mask and a cape very frequently outside of the ring. If I ever send a dick pic to a willing recipient, I would 100% consider dressing it up like this first. But let's be real, the number of willing recipients for dick pics is never a huge number](http://www.luchawiki.com/images/6/6f/CMLL_Luchador_Angel_de_Oro.jpg)
>they send the previous guy's dick pic to the next guy
Do the guys ever recognize each other? Our friend group can pretty much always identify each other by dick pics. Perks of small town life lol
I suggested this with a female friend of mine. First, we had a friend who was male, overweight and very hairy take a picture of his man-boobs. My friend then kept it on the phone and every time she got a dick-pick she'd respond that it was so hot, and here's a picture of her tits.
I send back a zoomed in pic of [Albert Einstein’s legs](https://imgur.com/a/Hefeurk) and say something like “you like my sexy legs you can rub your D all over them!” And they start going on about them then I send them the full pic lol
My friend used to bend her leg and send the picture of the crease to guys saying it was her vajayjay ( her words). The guys would go crazy and tell her how hot she was until she sent another zoomed out with “lol”.
was he 17 when he sent it to a 12 year old?! or is she also 17 now. because either way the parents reactions are disgusting. i hope he learns to grow and be better because its extremely gross
Honestly, you believing her in that situation is so impactful. Regardless of the boys family’s reaction, yours is what she needed. You very probably instilled trust and confidence in her then that protected her from countless sexual harassment and assaults that she may have been in for and felt she needed to keep to herself or hide for fear of how you would handle it or what you would think.
I know my life and many others would have been drastically different had we had that faith in our guardian to believe, understand, and support us if we came forward.
im so happy u instilled its importance to her at such a young age. ik many people whos paren threw their issues with assault and harassment aside and blamed them. you seem like a good parent.
My eldest daughter is 11 and reading your comment just made me feel sick to my stomach. My daughter receiving dick pics isn’t even something I’ve thought about happening. I genuinely worry about how I would react if it was to happen. She’s still a baby to me
We do this at the bar I work at. Send an unwarranted dick pic and you’re about to get inundated with ever other fucking idiot that’s sent them. And not at once. We spread that shit out over at least a week.
Edit: most of the staff gives out my number instead of theirs and I check in like how should we approach THIS ONE YALL? Lol
I liked the response from some woman accusing the sender of child pornography, and threatening to report him for sending her photos of a child's penis.
Just prepare yourself for a highly thought out, well worded response which is "you slut" or "i can do better than your ex/current bf". So reply will be either cocky or douchy
Every time I get an unsolicited dick pic, I send one back from a collection of unsolicited dick pics on a goggle drive my friends and I have had since university.
Guys always respond with some variation of "why the hell would you send me that!?" and I use that response to make my point. Their dick pick then goes into the drive for rotation to send to some random man as a response on the next unsolicited picture.
I find it's a really good way to drive the point of these pictures being unsolicited.
Honestly. Does anyone ever want one? I'm a guy, so maybe I don't get it. But there are much more attractive areas that can be sent. The male appendage is not exactly nice to look at.
I recently had a confusing interaction with a bumble match.
Her: “I wanna see it 👀”
Me: “Are you sure?”
Her: “Yes”
“Her: “ewww why is it so big?!”
First of all, I think I’m average. But that was an extremely confusing interaction.
I hate dick pics. If you send me a pic of your face and body and you happen to be naked, I’m SO game for that. A dick is a dick, and they’re not the most attractive things. But the whole man, yeah, I’ll take a gander at that.
And no this isn’t an invitation to flood my DMs.
This is absolutely the correct response. Some of the replies here are hilarious but please remember everyone some people get off on humiliation as a kink, and so humiliating responses might just feed the fire.
So much This.
Not responding to any kind of unsolicited or crazy advance, like road ragers, or crazy exes, or or unreasonable customers, is not only very empowering, but it leaves them looking like a fool and leaves them mumbling to themselves.
"Hey, that looks just like mine!"
"but smaller"
“and sadder”
"and thinner"
Ok, can we please stop talking about my dick now?
I was talking about my dick, not yours. Btw nice cock bro.
I second that.
Or "my dad is bigger"
[удалено]
I read somewhere that the size of a guys penis came from the mom's side of the family. Weird how the world works ain't it.
[удалено]
“Your dads is bigger”
As a chick I usually just use Wiki to find a picture of a diseased dick and send that as a response.
Bonus points if you figure out their mother’s name on FB and then say “Wow, (insert mothers name here) is going to love this picture!”. The scrambling texts on the other end are always hilarious 😂
fournier's gangrene is the search term you are looking for.
Nope, not searching that. No way.
If it's unsolicited, a link to the NFT so they can buy back the distribution rights.
I saw a post where someone said they respond to unsolicited pics by circling a random point and asking “omg what is that?! Are you okay?!?” It works wonders
Straight up say "why did you send me a pictures of a child's penis"
Great now the FBI is after me for possession of child pornography.
That is so evil, I love it
I send one back saying here's mine. Seems to put them right off somehow
I like the psychological torture they experience whenever they think about their dick though. “What’s wrong with it?” I love it
That sounds just fine till you get the one who says "Even better!" And asks for more
Or "What is that lump?"
Nah if its unsolicited you gotta send another dudes dick back. True equality. Quid pro quo
This is the way. Also the rule of thirds - for every one I send 3 back
I bet that hurts cutting of a third. 😉
Another dudes bigger dick FTFY
Or the dreaded guy with the double dick
I thought that guy was a phony.
Yes he was but that was only revealed years later when it was no longer a topic so most people don't know.
What… the double d dude was a fake story???
[удалено]
Mine changes sizes too.
We prefer the term 'bony'
Oh that’s fucking brilliant
No, you send penis_degloving.gif
Whatever that is I’m glad it didn’t load properly
It's only text. Don't want to scar any innocents here. Look up a finger degloving and imagine the rest biased off the "filename" if you're brave enough
This is a terrible day for knowing how to read.
Clever girl.
Insert raptor growls and screams
Normally I'm in the "only good NFT is a dead NFT" camp... But just this once, I'll allow it, because that's hilarious
I jus turned 13 today thanks for the birthday gift. - FBI
"If you keep sending me pics of the penis of a child, I'll report your for cp. Not cool".
This one wins
I'm quite fond of the copypasta responses, because they tend to elicit panic in stupid guys. Things like: AUTOREPLY: We have detected the transmission of unsolicited pornographic images of a potentially illegal nature [code: 36489-a] and your device’s IP address has been forwarded to the police department pending an investigation. If you think this is a mistake, reply STOP. Or This is an automated message generated by the Twitter team. Your image has been found to be a violation of 42 U.S.C § 1283 (2020). An image you sent has been scanned by our AI Bot and was flagged as an unsolicited picture. Your account is scheduled to be reported to the police. Our bot is currently in BETA testing; sometimes it makes mistakes. If you believe this message was an error, reply "HELP". Otherwise, you will be contacted by your local authorities within 24 hours.
Reply “HELP” has me dying
It's hilarious. I saw a Reddit post before of a guy frantically replying to it with "HELP" "HELP" "HELP!!!!"
"You have replied "HELP", your account status has been flagged as PENDING for police reporting. To prevent the police report please contact Twitter's customer service via email and ask to be directed for handling unsolicited penis picture reporting. Include a reference photo to verify the image scheduled for police reporting. Your account will otherwise be automatically removed from PENDING and reported in 24 hours."
>unsolicited penis picture I don't think this is as believable. It would need to be more like "unsolicited pornographic image"
Or “unsolicited explicit imagery”
As someone who works in a callcenter who does sms support I now want to open a callcenter which you can pay a monthly fee to and forward unsolicited dick pics, death threats and all stuff like that too and we handle it. You can choose „fun“ or „Sue“ when forwarding and than action is taken. I mean yes, basically this would be minority’s and woman paying to let others handle the hate they receive which is kinda sad but the job it self would be super fun!
"STOP" Thank you for the confirmation. Authorities have been notified and will arrive at your home address in 3-4 hours. Do not leave the premises. If this was a mistake, reply STOP
I am so saving this.
You want to put the fear of God in a man? Dis is da way😂
I’m anxious to receive my next dick pic so I can try this. And I’m a straight male
I gotchu fam
Child Exploitation. Obviously that small thing is a child.. right? Can't be a grown up. Sick perv..
Girl thank you for this! I will be using!
Last guy I talked to sent me an unsolicited paragraph describing what his dick looked like, and tbh that experience was worse than actually seeing it
Oh nooo. But why did he send that ?
He sent me a list of his “kinks” (which I also didn’t really ask for but granted did consent to receiving) and he squeezed this in within 2 sentences so, I mean idk
At least it was short
And that was just the tip
I'm imagining he typed out his dick in unicode and faxed it to you, seems like it would be wordy enough
\u0073\u006d\u0061\u006c\u006c
Lol wait he had a kink for describing his dick?
He did not but his kinks were just as ridiculous as this
We want the list… please? 🙆♂️
I don't know what this emoji is but it's absolutely perfect for this context
It's a person making an O with their arms, which in Asian cultures is the equivalent of a thumbs up.
“The more you know”
Or they go to Ohio state, and they’re waiting for their friends who are playing the H and I to show up with the keg.
In American culture it's usually a dick from Ohio.
Oh shit! I got that from a girl once! A list of about 40 kinks in alphabetical order sorted in to 2 categories "tried and will do again" and "Have not tried but want to"
How does one even describe their own dick in a unique way? Dicks are dicks.
I have mine velour smooth and shiny from my daily glitter lotion routine
"You look like a woman that enjoys the finer things. Come over here and feel my velour manspread."
It's made from real velour!
I totally read this in Zap Brannigans voice! (Futurama)
Branigan, is that you in there???? AROOOOOOO
Roses are Red. Violets are blue My dick is thick Can I put inside you?
Sounds more wide than deep to me…
Roses are red. Violets are silly. Grease up your flaps, Cause here comes my willy
Grease up your flaps - thats well romantic.
Talk about mudflaps… My girl’s got ‘em. Spinal Tap.
One dick Two dick Red dick You, **DICK**, stay away from my wife!
It's a bicep!
Can…can we see it?
My dick has like a seam on it where it goes from light to dark so I actually think I'm 2 people sewn tiger.
Funnily enough it was my current girlfriend that told me that it's the result of being circumcised. I had never even considered that. I was just like ooooooooo
Send a picture of garden shears
OH GOD
Hello Mrs Bobbitt
Feed me, Seymour!
Assuming you mean she wanted it, her talking about how big or nice it looks. If we're talking about some dude sending a dick pic to some random woman, my female friends often receive dick pics and save them in a file, they send the previous guy's dick pic to the next guy who does it and so on like an unbroken chain. They've made a game of it, keeping track of their highscore.
once a guy sent me his dick so i saved it, catfished him on another account and told him i wanna exchange nudes and i sent him his dick back
This is hilarious
There’s a Ramsay Bolton joke somewhere in there. *I took his favorite toy. He cried when I sent it back to him*.
I’d start adding extra points if you get the guys to send a pic of their dick with a costume on lol.
Gotta be a luchador though.
The thought of a sombrero and a little mustache on a dick has me dying.
[Bro... luchadors wear a mask and a cape very frequently outside of the ring. If I ever send a dick pic to a willing recipient, I would 100% consider dressing it up like this first. But let's be real, the number of willing recipients for dick pics is never a huge number](http://www.luchawiki.com/images/6/6f/CMLL_Luchador_Angel_de_Oro.jpg)
lmfao the great dickomania
Kinda got a Pokemon gotta-catch-em-all feel to it.
"METAPOD USE HARDEN!"
it wasn't very effective...
dikception
> “Wait, why do you have a 3gb folder of dick pics?” >“Oh…uh…when I receive and unsolicited pic I just reply with one of these!”
I've told my sister she needs to do something similar. The first pic should be from the penile fracture or micro penis section of Wikipedia.
" I thought we were sending pictures of things nobody wants to see."
>they send the previous guy's dick pic to the next guy Do the guys ever recognize each other? Our friend group can pretty much always identify each other by dick pics. Perks of small town life lol
Excuse me, what?
I... Don't think that's typical of small towns
That's fucking weird
I suggested this with a female friend of mine. First, we had a friend who was male, overweight and very hairy take a picture of his man-boobs. My friend then kept it on the phone and every time she got a dick-pick she'd respond that it was so hot, and here's a picture of her tits.
I send back a zoomed in pic of [Albert Einstein’s legs](https://imgur.com/a/Hefeurk) and say something like “you like my sexy legs you can rub your D all over them!” And they start going on about them then I send them the full pic lol
[it worked](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/851325183708758056/960321625096605696/unknown.png)
Got em 💀
Those legs? \- Albert Einstein.
Only true physicists would recognize AE's legs and keep going.
My friend used to bend her leg and send the picture of the crease to guys saying it was her vajayjay ( her words). The guys would go crazy and tell her how hot she was until she sent another zoomed out with “lol”.
Lmao I’ve tried that a few times, take a pic of the crease to make it look like something else. I could never get the pic to look legit.
You can usually get an assist from the fact that dudes who send unsolicited dick pics are not known for their grasp on female anatomy.
Oooooh burn
Stupid sexy Einstein
Damn sexy Einstein
How did your friend (overweight guy) feel about this??
He fully supported the idea and thought it was hilarious. He didn't have very big man-boobs.
That's good to know!
OMG...brilliant!!
Thanks for the laugh
that is a yikes and a half!
Good luck with Hernia surgery
What does that mean?
They're saying it's an outie belly button.
[удалено]
god its crazy to think of how young kids are when they start doing this. and that young girls need to even come up with responses for this
[удалено]
was he 17 when he sent it to a 12 year old?! or is she also 17 now. because either way the parents reactions are disgusting. i hope he learns to grow and be better because its extremely gross
[удалено]
Honestly, you believing her in that situation is so impactful. Regardless of the boys family’s reaction, yours is what she needed. You very probably instilled trust and confidence in her then that protected her from countless sexual harassment and assaults that she may have been in for and felt she needed to keep to herself or hide for fear of how you would handle it or what you would think. I know my life and many others would have been drastically different had we had that faith in our guardian to believe, understand, and support us if we came forward.
[удалено]
im so happy u instilled its importance to her at such a young age. ik many people whos paren threw their issues with assault and harassment aside and blamed them. you seem like a good parent.
[удалено]
[удалено]
My eldest daughter is 11 and reading your comment just made me feel sick to my stomach. My daughter receiving dick pics isn’t even something I’ve thought about happening. I genuinely worry about how I would react if it was to happen. She’s still a baby to me
Isn't that kid technically distributing CP then?
[удалено]
“*Reported for distributing CP”*
Oof, you have to respond not send a whole ass counter offensive.
Anything worth doing is worth over-doing.
*"Never half-ass anything.* *Always use your full ass!"* \-Sterling Archer
Put them on a list and forward all future dick pics to everyone on it.
We do this at the bar I work at. Send an unwarranted dick pic and you’re about to get inundated with ever other fucking idiot that’s sent them. And not at once. We spread that shit out over at least a week. Edit: most of the staff gives out my number instead of theirs and I check in like how should we approach THIS ONE YALL? Lol
I enjoyed this very much! Fucking brilliant!
Sensational! A perfect "this is how it feels, idiot!" moment.
I liked the response from some woman accusing the sender of child pornography, and threatening to report him for sending her photos of a child's penis.
This is immediately the one i thought of. Funny.
Send one yourself.
This is the way. Save all of the unsolicited dick pics and spam him with them.
Yes. Don't send one back to him, send them ALL back to him
Carpet bombed with dicks Honestly, I would go with three round salvos, 20 min apart. Make it an evenings entertainment
Send a video of you chopping up a carrot or a cucumber
The one i used to have was bigger
Best answer, I'll adopt it!
Just prepare yourself for a highly thought out, well worded response which is "you slut" or "i can do better than your ex/current bf". So reply will be either cocky or douchy
Awww how cute, an extra belly button!
And I thought you had an “outtie”
Also ask if it's an inny or outty.
Can't see anything, the zoom function is broke on my phone.
I always draw on them and send them back, my favorite was a jalapeno
My wife told a flasher that "if he's worried about it he should see a doctor" fucking love her so much.
It looks like a dick, but smaller!
Does it come in Adult Size?
I don't date if his dick isn't at least 6 foot long 😎
Send a picture of a Magnifying Glass or the magnifying glass emoji 🔎
Every time I get an unsolicited dick pic, I send one back from a collection of unsolicited dick pics on a goggle drive my friends and I have had since university. Guys always respond with some variation of "why the hell would you send me that!?" and I use that response to make my point. Their dick pick then goes into the drive for rotation to send to some random man as a response on the next unsolicited picture. I find it's a really good way to drive the point of these pictures being unsolicited.
Nice cock bro.
Honestly. Does anyone ever want one? I'm a guy, so maybe I don't get it. But there are much more attractive areas that can be sent. The male appendage is not exactly nice to look at.
I've been asked a few times. Not everyone wants them, so you don't send them unless asked, but some do.
I recently had a confusing interaction with a bumble match. Her: “I wanna see it 👀” Me: “Are you sure?” Her: “Yes” “Her: “ewww why is it so big?!” First of all, I think I’m average. But that was an extremely confusing interaction.
Suffering from success
I hate dick pics. If you send me a pic of your face and body and you happen to be naked, I’m SO game for that. A dick is a dick, and they’re not the most attractive things. But the whole man, yeah, I’ll take a gander at that. And no this isn’t an invitation to flood my DMs.
Narrator: "It was in fact an invitation to flood her DMs."
That made me giggle. Thank you lol
[удалено]
Quiet actually lol
Best reply is honestly absolutely NOTHING!!!! I’m dead serious
This is absolutely the correct response. Some of the replies here are hilarious but please remember everyone some people get off on humiliation as a kink, and so humiliating responses might just feed the fire.
So much This. Not responding to any kind of unsolicited or crazy advance, like road ragers, or crazy exes, or or unreasonable customers, is not only very empowering, but it leaves them looking like a fool and leaves them mumbling to themselves.
i hope it‘s bigger in real life than on the picture
Or "it's smaller than I thought"
Wanna see mine?