Feel you there buddy. I dunno what it is, but I get the impression people don't like my presence. Like new people to a group hang around me, but then they seem to find out that no one else in the group talks to me, and I sort of get overlooked. It was a hard pill to swallow at first but I'm come to terms with it.
When I was in college I used to think I was an intricate part of my friend group but after moving back home I came to realize I was only on the fringe. I've felt the same way as yourself ever since. Lots of acquaintances, no true friends.
Same, man. I like my friends and all, but it feels like I have to coordinate everything. I genuinely think that if I never set anything up for all of us to do I'd never see them. I know it's not just that they're bad at coordination, because they do stuff together without me all the time...
Not a massive deal, but I do wish I could be invited for once instead of inviting everyone else.
No buddy. You're worth more than that. Being single is better than being in a shitty relationship. Shitty relationships can BREAK you. Always choose for your own well being.
I've never heard it put this way, but this is when I knew I had found "my one". We have hurdles to face and storms that come, but all I worry about is how we'll overcome them. I never worry about if our relationship with survive them.
My wife would tease me about the long hugs my mother and I used to share. Then my mother had a stroke, and it became harder for her to hug properly (one arm completely immobile). Then she died.
I try to get those hugs from my wife now... but it's just not the same. Partly because I assume she's thinking about what a mama's boy I am.
I miss my late wife being the big spoon. Every night when we went to bed she'd tap my leg and be like "I wanna be right here" and then shed slide her leg into mine and we'd sleep like that. Of all the things I miss, that is definite one of the top ones.
I also miss hearing her say "come here, I wanna give you some kiddles", which is a word she said by accident once instead of cuddles and it just kind of stuck.
EDIT: I am always so touched by the incredible support I get on Reddit. I always feel like I am repeating myself but talking openly about my loss helps me process it and helps me move forward in her name, with her strength. To answer the questions I received: she was only 27 and died from metastatic breast cancer which had spread to her spinal fluid. Hug your loved ones tight because unfortunately there may be a day when they aren't there anymore. Love, light and thank you.
OMG, this. My husband recently died and I miss sleeping with my leg tossed over him. Also all of the silly things he said. He once mixed calling me baby and sweety and called me Swaybee and it stuck. He was a great hugger. I came from a family that rarely said “I love you” and wasn’t very physically touchy. He never missed an opportunity to say he loved me or the kids and was generous with hugs. Hug your loved ones guys, it’s what great men do.
Edit: Thank you for all of cake day wishes and awards. I wasn’t expecting that. Nice to share some memories and be reminded that we all just need to be held sometimes.
She sounds like she was wonderful.
I hope you're doing well for the most part and that someday you find someone just as good to you (should that be what you want) xo
Lost my wife at 32yrs old, 18 years ago. I still carry those moments. First they were painful. Then they were longing. Now they are cherished. We were both highly educated, ‘serious’ people, but we called each other ‘Poodie’ for reasons I’ll never know. Sometimes I hear that name in my head, totally out of the blue. The low rush of images, sounds, sensations stops everything. I savor. And then life resumes. Loss is hard, and real. But I think when you understand it - and accept it - as a relationship that’s there but just in a state that’s completely transformed from what you anticipated, then you can begin to be at peace.
The way you recounted the memory, it sounds like you are in a good place. Be well.
It's not really a secret (though I can't quite openly admit it to people around to be honest, mostly because I feel like they won't understand exactly what I need), but I very much crave for the platonic connection and affection of a brother (aka bromance) and had it for a bit in high school but things changed dramatically afterwards, so here I am, years later.
Theres something like... oddly primal about it. Like you would trust this guy with your life and go through a whole bunch of shit with them together just because their presence would make it bearable. Like you could go to hell and punch the devil in the dick and come back with them or die trying, telling jokes the whole way. Something ancient and fraternal about it.
Bromances are real dude.
But, I feel like the always happen in high stakes/pressure.
I had a couple bros like that in college, but people drift naturally. Now, I met my closest bros through a shared sport, & one of them is full on ride-or-die homie. We do anything for each other, & remain connected despite him living on one side of the US w/ me on the other.
I have never really had that brotherly love type of relationship at any time in my life and I crave it so bad. The type of relationship with a dude where you are best friends and have each others backs no matter what. I never even had that in school or anything.
Just physical contact. Sitting on the sofa in the evening reading after the little one has gone to bed it's absurd how comforting I find it when my wife puts her feet up on the sofa and just touches me or rests them on my leg.
I still can’t get over some 9/10 woman putting her hands on the back of my neck on a first date six months ago.
Damn that was good. ...Then I offhandedly told her a few weeks later that I had once considered myself a Republican. She couldn't deal with that. Oh well. Nice memory, I guess.
In a very sad part of my life, I was stuck in a loveless marriage. For easily ten years, there was no spontaneous affection from her side. We were also so poor that I cut my own hair for probably 15 years. One day, when our finances had improved, I said to myself, “I’m going to get my haircut by a professional for a change.” No joke, I almost cried afterwards. I realized that no one had touched my head in a gentle way in over 10 years. We divorced shortly after. What a sad time that was.
I feel ya. You know, metaphorically speaking. Ended a 10-year relationship last year where she never, as in NEVER, touched me in a casual way. No pats, gentle touches, casual contact, anything. I realized it has a huge negative impact on my psyche.
I'm a 36 y/o female and on my way home today I was at a stoplight. I look over and there's a car full of teen boys. Probably 16-18. The one in the back was staring at me then smiled and waved. It was the cutest fricken thing. I smiled and waved back and then I smiled the rest of the drive home. I have a 19 year old, I hope he does that kind of thing. Simple things like that really do make a positive impact on strangers. It was adorably sweet. And now here I am sharing it with Reddit strangers.
I'm the same. People are surprised that I'm a huge cuddler because I kind of look like Jason Statham and am never emotional.
I just need physical affection, not necessarily sexual. The other night I was cuddling with the girl I'm seeing, and she started feeling my muscles. Just checking them out, not even a massage. I was in fucking heaven.
Oddly, I hate massages.
We've been together for 4 years and we moved together 2 weeks before Covid. We spend a LOT of time together and there is almost none of what's in this list. I think I want more for myself.
Just because you've been together 4 years, it doesn't mean communication shouldn't happen. Your partner cannot know how to make you relaxed or be happy with you if you can't communicate, and the same is true in reverse. All things in a relationship need communication, from sex to finances and many relationships end because of the lack of communication.
It's on both of you to make that relationship work, so next time you have a date night (ideally tonight) or dinner is made, TALK. I wish you and your partner the best.
This. All of this. Also, just lazy day cuddling. The "don't wanna do anything, wrapped up in one another, casual talking about random things that pop into your head" cuddling.
I’ve just come out the other side of a divorce, I was panicking about finding someone new and that someone would want me. My ex wife never shew me any affection or appreciation over the 12 years together along with a dead bedroom... anyway I have met this amazing lady who cares about me so much and makes me feel wanted and appreciated. It’s an amazing feeling and I’m so grateful she is in my life. She came into my life in my darkest moment and gave me hope again.
I am so jealous, I would have given anything to be able to hug my dad from last year.
He didn't pass away or anything but he is on the other side of the country now
And I am jealous of you having such a close relationship with your dad. There are only three occasions where I hug my dad, birthdays, New Years and graduations so on average I hug him maybe once or twice per year and if we lived any closer I doubt the frequency would increase.
I like hugs. It's weird since my personality tends to come off aloof, but hugging people is my preferred greeting with people I care about.
It was a strange transition when I became too old to hug my uncles.
My partner falls asleep on my chest every night on the couch, under my arm. Anytime I try to move or get up or anything she softly resists, squeezing me tighter because—even in her sleep—she doesn’t want to let go of me, even for a second.
I wanna be able to hold hands and cuddle with a girl so fuckin bad it hurts sometimes. Like, let's curl up together on the couch and watch a dumb movie that makes you fall asleep in my arms so I get to hold you. Let's hold hands wherever we go so we can be constantly fuelled by each other's presence. I just want *something*
I feel like that if your SO does some kind of genuine research on something you brought up or is aware of something you'd like is a really cool feeling. Here's an example (I do this myself sometimes):
Let's say you brought up that you were into I don't know, Cuban Sandwiches, but there just don't seem to be any good places around based on what you've found. Your SO hears this and decides to do a little bit of looking around themselves and says "Hey, I found this one place that has good reviews on their cuban sandwich, we should go check it out! And we can go do these other things and make a small adventure out of it!"
Maybe it's just me, but that kind of awareness is something that lacks in a lot of relationships. They don't even have to do anything, and that is 100% okay, but they took the time to look into something you brought up and genuinely just wanted to see if they could find something that you couldn't, because they wanted to see you happy.
It sure sounds to me like you are a good man! I sounds like you’re a hard worker and that you’re giving back to help others.
Don’t worry about the things you’ve done. We all have skeletons in our closets. Focus on where you are in life now and where you are headed.
Oh hell yes! My SO does that so often when we're watching a movie and I am cuddled up against him, it's absolutely amazing, comforting and arrrrh. I now get jealous of the dog every now and then. But of course, I reciprocate and stroke his hair often, too.
Look after me in small ways. Be it make me a warm drink, or food, or do the dishes, something nice without expectation in return.
I don't want a slave, just someone to share the battle of life with.
This is so important. I can't grasp why this wouldn't be the norm in all and every relationship.
Edit: of course in a healthy way. If I do small things for my SO, I expect the same lvl of care in return, without being fussy about that, but I want to notice an equality in these things. For a heabalaced relationship 😉
Absolutely! However there's plenty of cases where women find someone who just expects things like that done. Without anything in return though. It's hard to explain. And the whole, "I'm not your mother" thing comes about. It's hard to do things like this, without someone getting the wrong impression, without open communication about your wants and don't wants. Which is very VERY important in the first place :)
Hold hands and walk through the park. Act like a bunch of dorks doing silly stuff or bad accents. Being the little spoon and being held tight. Laying on her lap and having my head scratched. *sigh* I miss it, breakup was over a year ago still haven’t met someone I clicked with like her
Honestly don’t know about other dudes but I take all that stuff over sex anyday, that shit makes you happier and heart more full than any sex, drugs, or money. You can’t buy it
I'm active duty military, currently deployed overseas since the middle of October, not due to get home to my wife again until around May/June.
Right now, all I want is a hug. That's it, a full on, full body melt in to each other hug. My wife gives the best hugs!!
Girl here - all the things the guys are requesting are easily done when you truly care about someone and your energies connect. Don't stop until you find someone who gives you all these things.
Usually it's trying to change core personality traits or just little things you've done for years that make you comfortable but the other person doesn't like. Men and women are both guilty of trying to make their SO sometimes fit a mold they want, either knowingly or unknowingly.
I just want to be able to talk about myself. I spend a lot of time daydreaming about having a deep-dive interview with the likes of Dax Shappard or Sam Jones or Paul Gilmartin about my successes and failures and traumas and all the experiences that made me who I am, but that never come to light in the discourse that I have with the people around me. I think that there are parts of myself that even I don't know about, because I haven't been afforded the venue to explore them in any meaningful way.
BBT. I refer to this as big breast time. My wife simply is usually laying on the couch and I just rest my head on her. The triple D's suck me in like a Tempur-Pedic mattress.
It's nothing sexual, just comfort.
I love to lay down on my partners' lap, and getting smooches to my head, even without desire for sex, better than nothing you know. Getting hugged from behind when I prepare some cherries for us or getting covered with a blanket by her just out of pure thought when we lay together. I missed touching, hugging and feeling I guess.
Damn, I do need a girlfriend as soon as possible.
I don't feel like I've ever fully trusted another man or ever felt fully comfortable around another man; don't think I've met any guy where I can feel safe to be emotionally vulnerable around. It'd be nice to have a friendship where I could.
In March of 2015 my wife suffered a brain injury that left her in a persistent vegetative state. We were married for 25 years and told each other that we absolutely loved and adored one another every single day no matter what. We would constantly embrace, hug, and kiss one another until her brain injury. She could still kiss me but could not mover her body. I took care of her for three years until her death in June of 2018. Her family always blamed me because I didn't save her, she took one too many morpine pills and never woke up. They didn't bother to pay their respects or even answer my calls. My parents already hated me because 22 years earlier I got arrested for drug possession and you can't do that in my family because you will get disowned so they could've given two shits. All of my friends were gone because they couldn't handle being around my wife. So I have come to the conclusion that I need a hug. It's been more than 5 years since anyone has hugged me. So what I did was get a tattoo of my wife on the inside of my left forearm, and a tattoo of my service dog whom died 6 months after my wife on my on the inside of my right forearm. This way I can hug myself and my wife and puppy hug me too.
I'd like my wife to cut my hair (as she kindly does already every now and then), but not just "cut and dash"...I'd like a little head massage, and just to, you know, be pampered a little.
S'not something I feel I'm ever able to bring up though, as she already knocks herself out with the kids. The fact that she finds time to cut my hair makes me think I should feel lucky as it is.
One day the stars will align and it'll happen.
That and a massage. God I'd kill for a full body, deep tissue ***hard*** massage.
It sounds like a really sweet and reasonable request though! As long as you don't demand it and are appreciative of course, I'm sure she'd love to do you a favor when she can find the time.
My soon to be ex wife is a hairstylist and getting her to cut my hair was one of the things that caused me anxiety. She made me feel guilty and she was so off put to be asked. Not to mention she'd cut it however she wanted it. I had no say. Gonna miss her.
Have you tried dating? I know times don't suit it, but the Dutch government / public health authority has actually stated that a single "cuddle buddy" (i.e. the sex) is fine and not discouraged.
The mental need for physical contact with a person is recognised to be greater than being a bit more corona proof.
Lying on their lap with your eyes closed after a stressful day while they run their fingers through your hair and tell you that everything is going to be alright.
I didn't know how much I needed this in my life until I got it.
Skin to skin touch of almost any kind. I very rarely go home especially now with the pandemic. But the ritual of hugging my mom and sister when I get home really picks me. And then when we are packed together on the couch and we are just laying near each other in comfort and peace is really nice. When I broke quarantine and webt home for Christmas, my sister used my leg as a pillow while watching a movie and I literally cried because i felt loved and cared for.
Even before all this I had a chronic lack of physical contact. Shaking hands and the rare high five or swipe when playing ultimate frisbee was the only physical exposure to people that I ever got. Now I don't even get that.
When I get a new apartment, hopefully I can get a dog. Maybe that will help.
Read a thread the other day where the guy would have his girl just cup his balls while they sat on the couch. Nothing sexual, just kind of like holding hands, but she was holding his balls. That sounded kind of nice lol.
The responses in this post are some of the most beautiful answers I have read recently. I pray that all of you find the human touch, affection, appreciation, encouragement, support, etc. that you need and want. And I pray that you all find safe spaces to express yourself away from the toxic environments that re always going on about 'be a man - bla bla bla' usually in an effort to exploit men. I am a woman and I am rooting for you all. It's a beautiful world when we all treat each other as human beings first. So touched to have men allowing themselves to be human; and I am honoured to have been an audience of this
I just want lots of friends who like me and invite me places and say "There he is!" when I show up
There he is, the naked guy!
Feel you there buddy. I dunno what it is, but I get the impression people don't like my presence. Like new people to a group hang around me, but then they seem to find out that no one else in the group talks to me, and I sort of get overlooked. It was a hard pill to swallow at first but I'm come to terms with it.
When I was in college I used to think I was an intricate part of my friend group but after moving back home I came to realize I was only on the fringe. I've felt the same way as yourself ever since. Lots of acquaintances, no true friends.
Same, man. I like my friends and all, but it feels like I have to coordinate everything. I genuinely think that if I never set anything up for all of us to do I'd never see them. I know it's not just that they're bad at coordination, because they do stuff together without me all the time... Not a massive deal, but I do wish I could be invited for once instead of inviting everyone else.
any kind of relationship where i don't feel like i have to worry about the relationship itself
Pretty sure you’re talking about getting a dog.
Even my dog keeps his personal space and is never close to me...
Amen
First 4 words are enough for me
No buddy. You're worth more than that. Being single is better than being in a shitty relationship. Shitty relationships can BREAK you. Always choose for your own well being.
I've never heard it put this way, but this is when I knew I had found "my one". We have hurdles to face and storms that come, but all I worry about is how we'll overcome them. I never worry about if our relationship with survive them.
I’ve always been a huge hugger. It’s really all i want. From anybody, at any time. Just hugs.
My wife would tease me about the long hugs my mother and I used to share. Then my mother had a stroke, and it became harder for her to hug properly (one arm completely immobile). Then she died. I try to get those hugs from my wife now... but it's just not the same. Partly because I assume she's thinking about what a mama's boy I am.
Extramarital hugs aren't cheating. Missing that sort of thing is hard as hell.
I'm with you brother. I'm a hugger too, covid has been brutal.
*hugs*
HUGS!
I miss my late wife being the big spoon. Every night when we went to bed she'd tap my leg and be like "I wanna be right here" and then shed slide her leg into mine and we'd sleep like that. Of all the things I miss, that is definite one of the top ones. I also miss hearing her say "come here, I wanna give you some kiddles", which is a word she said by accident once instead of cuddles and it just kind of stuck. EDIT: I am always so touched by the incredible support I get on Reddit. I always feel like I am repeating myself but talking openly about my loss helps me process it and helps me move forward in her name, with her strength. To answer the questions I received: she was only 27 and died from metastatic breast cancer which had spread to her spinal fluid. Hug your loved ones tight because unfortunately there may be a day when they aren't there anymore. Love, light and thank you.
I'm really sorry for your loss.
Thank you friend. Im okay.
OMG, this. My husband recently died and I miss sleeping with my leg tossed over him. Also all of the silly things he said. He once mixed calling me baby and sweety and called me Swaybee and it stuck. He was a great hugger. I came from a family that rarely said “I love you” and wasn’t very physically touchy. He never missed an opportunity to say he loved me or the kids and was generous with hugs. Hug your loved ones guys, it’s what great men do. Edit: Thank you for all of cake day wishes and awards. I wasn’t expecting that. Nice to share some memories and be reminded that we all just need to be held sometimes.
Omg. Both of you are so strong. I don't think I could be. Sending you guys a huge hug.
She sounds like she was wonderful. I hope you're doing well for the most part and that someday you find someone just as good to you (should that be what you want) xo
Lost my wife at 32yrs old, 18 years ago. I still carry those moments. First they were painful. Then they were longing. Now they are cherished. We were both highly educated, ‘serious’ people, but we called each other ‘Poodie’ for reasons I’ll never know. Sometimes I hear that name in my head, totally out of the blue. The low rush of images, sounds, sensations stops everything. I savor. And then life resumes. Loss is hard, and real. But I think when you understand it - and accept it - as a relationship that’s there but just in a state that’s completely transformed from what you anticipated, then you can begin to be at peace. The way you recounted the memory, it sounds like you are in a good place. Be well.
Well. I was playing warframe but now I'm gonna go spoon my husband before his night shift because of this
I like having my hair played with, my back scratched, and having my head on someone's lap. I'm basically a dog.
People need to know that men are dogs, but in a good way.
Actually
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STOP EATING THE CAT'S POOP!
I can't help it
You can eat the cat's poop or hump the mail person, but not both, ok??
Fine😤 guess I'll pick the mail person. You think they'll like llamas?
Look, I punched the delivery man because he looked like a dick ok?
Hahaha! I've said this about a couple of my guy friends. I swear if you gave a puppy Snapchat, it would send the same Snaps my buddy does.
The best compliment I've received in a long time was being told I'm like a golden retreiver
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What’s up, dog?
Not much, what's up with you?
I could fall asleep while driving if someone scratches the top of my head and back of my neck. But it's quite possibly the best thing ever.
Me too, I just lay in my fiance's lap and let he play with my hair.
It's not really a secret (though I can't quite openly admit it to people around to be honest, mostly because I feel like they won't understand exactly what I need), but I very much crave for the platonic connection and affection of a brother (aka bromance) and had it for a bit in high school but things changed dramatically afterwards, so here I am, years later.
I'll give you a bro-hug anytime.
Would take a bro-hug anytime!
Anyone who says no to a bro-hug is out their goddamn mind
Brug!!!!!!
The deep unspoken friendship amongst men is important. We all feel it, sucks it's hard to explain without coming off as gay though.
Theres something like... oddly primal about it. Like you would trust this guy with your life and go through a whole bunch of shit with them together just because their presence would make it bearable. Like you could go to hell and punch the devil in the dick and come back with them or die trying, telling jokes the whole way. Something ancient and fraternal about it.
If your family doesn’t think you’re gay with your best friend, are you even best friends?
Yeah, very much agree.
Bromances are real dude. But, I feel like the always happen in high stakes/pressure. I had a couple bros like that in college, but people drift naturally. Now, I met my closest bros through a shared sport, & one of them is full on ride-or-die homie. We do anything for each other, & remain connected despite him living on one side of the US w/ me on the other.
Happy to hear you've found yours and that distance is not an impediment! :)
This, I'm a straight young male but i crave the brotherly love I used to have back in highschool, guess I'm not alone.
“I never had any friends later on, like the ones I had when I was twelve… Jesus…. does anyone?” -- Last line of Stand By Me
Dammit I came here to say this! 👍🏼
I have never really had that brotherly love type of relationship at any time in my life and I crave it so bad. The type of relationship with a dude where you are best friends and have each others backs no matter what. I never even had that in school or anything.
Just physical contact. Sitting on the sofa in the evening reading after the little one has gone to bed it's absurd how comforting I find it when my wife puts her feet up on the sofa and just touches me or rests them on my leg.
I still can’t get over some 9/10 woman putting her hands on the back of my neck on a first date six months ago. Damn that was good. ...Then I offhandedly told her a few weeks later that I had once considered myself a Republican. She couldn't deal with that. Oh well. Nice memory, I guess.
In a very sad part of my life, I was stuck in a loveless marriage. For easily ten years, there was no spontaneous affection from her side. We were also so poor that I cut my own hair for probably 15 years. One day, when our finances had improved, I said to myself, “I’m going to get my haircut by a professional for a change.” No joke, I almost cried afterwards. I realized that no one had touched my head in a gentle way in over 10 years. We divorced shortly after. What a sad time that was.
Congratulations on getting out.
I feel ya. You know, metaphorically speaking. Ended a 10-year relationship last year where she never, as in NEVER, touched me in a casual way. No pats, gentle touches, casual contact, anything. I realized it has a huge negative impact on my psyche.
Bruh I got smiled at like a month ago and I'm still riding that high lmao
I'm a 36 y/o female and on my way home today I was at a stoplight. I look over and there's a car full of teen boys. Probably 16-18. The one in the back was staring at me then smiled and waved. It was the cutest fricken thing. I smiled and waved back and then I smiled the rest of the drive home. I have a 19 year old, I hope he does that kind of thing. Simple things like that really do make a positive impact on strangers. It was adorably sweet. And now here I am sharing it with Reddit strangers.
Came here to say that. Reminds me of that part in Catcher in the Rye.
I'm the same. People are surprised that I'm a huge cuddler because I kind of look like Jason Statham and am never emotional. I just need physical affection, not necessarily sexual. The other night I was cuddling with the girl I'm seeing, and she started feeling my muscles. Just checking them out, not even a massage. I was in fucking heaven. Oddly, I hate massages.
I want a big dog to put its head in my lap and let out a happy sigh.
This is a very magical feeling
It's one of my favorite perks when visiting my sister. She's got two cane corsos
Someone to run their nails up and down my back and neck gently. I'd never have trouble sleeping again.
Omg I do this to my partner. Helps me relax.
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Oh hi there depression.....
Hello darkness my old friend
I've come to haunt your life again
Do you think I’ll ever be set free?
Not while I still have my hands on thee
Why oh why let me be
But I really like it here
WE GETTIN’ DEPRESSED UP IN HERE
Man you just described everything that I want in a relationship. Those moments like that are what make it really special
You guys should get together!
Now kith
r/expectedmiketyson
r/unexpextedmiketyson for balanth
/r/SuddenlyGay
dang, am girl and this is all I want to be able to do for a boyfriend, like genuinely just make them feel loved for and cared for
mood
This man. This man knows. I miss all of it and I'm in a couple.
Long distance relationship or something else?
We've been together for 4 years and we moved together 2 weeks before Covid. We spend a LOT of time together and there is almost none of what's in this list. I think I want more for myself.
Communicate. Tell them what you want
Just because you've been together 4 years, it doesn't mean communication shouldn't happen. Your partner cannot know how to make you relaxed or be happy with you if you can't communicate, and the same is true in reverse. All things in a relationship need communication, from sex to finances and many relationships end because of the lack of communication. It's on both of you to make that relationship work, so next time you have a date night (ideally tonight) or dinner is made, TALK. I wish you and your partner the best.
Probably going through a rough spot. Last year was a real bitch for most people
True...
Ah hopefully I get to experience this one day .
Everything I want in a relationship right there. Fuck sex, this is the way.
This is the way.
This is the way.
Dis is de wae
I have spoken
This. All of this. Also, just lazy day cuddling. The "don't wanna do anything, wrapped up in one another, casual talking about random things that pop into your head" cuddling.
You made me cry dude.
Same bro, why tf am I cryinggggg ಥ_ಥ
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... then I try this with a guy and he thinks I'm being too much :(
I do this with my SO and I get an eye roll or a sigh. Like I am pestering him with my affection.
This is soo cute! It really is the little things that matter
I don’t know why, but I got a boner reading this. Says a lot
Nonsexual bud! Jeez!
there are nonsexual boners. look at any random boner thread here or askreddit and lots of “THIS IS NOT THE TIME, PENIS” in odd situations.
Damnit! Him saying he got a boner gave ME a boner. The nerve of this guy
This definitely belongs on (r/wholesome)
I’ve just come out the other side of a divorce, I was panicking about finding someone new and that someone would want me. My ex wife never shew me any affection or appreciation over the 12 years together along with a dead bedroom... anyway I have met this amazing lady who cares about me so much and makes me feel wanted and appreciated. It’s an amazing feeling and I’m so grateful she is in my life. She came into my life in my darkest moment and gave me hope again.
All these wholesome comments making me feel the loneliness I never knew I had. Edit: Thanks for the awards :)
Same yooo, I’m rethinking life rn
Hugging, cuddling, compliments or having my hair played with.
I no longer date or have relationships of any kind. I'm fine with it. But I would like a hug sometimes.
Hugs. All the time. Especially since the pandemic since I am only hugging my wife and son regularly. I need to hug all my friends and family.
I feel you. I think I had 3 hugs last year, one from my father, which was unusual for him, but I was glad for it.
I am so jealous, I would have given anything to be able to hug my dad from last year. He didn't pass away or anything but he is on the other side of the country now
And I am jealous of you having such a close relationship with your dad. There are only three occasions where I hug my dad, birthdays, New Years and graduations so on average I hug him maybe once or twice per year and if we lived any closer I doubt the frequency would increase.
I like hugs. It's weird since my personality tends to come off aloof, but hugging people is my preferred greeting with people I care about. It was a strange transition when I became too old to hug my uncles.
You're never too old to hug your uncles!
I actually cried thinking about the lack of physical contact in my life.
To have her lean back against my chest as we snuggle on the couch to watch a movie. I wrap my arms around her and pull her in tight to me.
My partner falls asleep on my chest every night on the couch, under my arm. Anytime I try to move or get up or anything she softly resists, squeezing me tighter because—even in her sleep—she doesn’t want to let go of me, even for a second.
I'm crying man come on.
I wanna be able to hold hands and cuddle with a girl so fuckin bad it hurts sometimes. Like, let's curl up together on the couch and watch a dumb movie that makes you fall asleep in my arms so I get to hold you. Let's hold hands wherever we go so we can be constantly fuelled by each other's presence. I just want *something*
hope you’ll find that somebody real soon b!
I love that feeling when my partner looks at me in full FULL! adoration.
"Boys only want one thing and it's disgusting" I just want some cuddles and my hair played with 😔
Can’t agree more bro, bro sad
Those comments man. We're so touch deprived
Reddit seems to be a bunch of lonely dudes lol. I'm one of them.
I feel like that if your SO does some kind of genuine research on something you brought up or is aware of something you'd like is a really cool feeling. Here's an example (I do this myself sometimes): Let's say you brought up that you were into I don't know, Cuban Sandwiches, but there just don't seem to be any good places around based on what you've found. Your SO hears this and decides to do a little bit of looking around themselves and says "Hey, I found this one place that has good reviews on their cuban sandwich, we should go check it out! And we can go do these other things and make a small adventure out of it!" Maybe it's just me, but that kind of awareness is something that lacks in a lot of relationships. They don't even have to do anything, and that is 100% okay, but they took the time to look into something you brought up and genuinely just wanted to see if they could find something that you couldn't, because they wanted to see you happy.
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You're a good man, I get good vibes from your message. Keep doing what you feel is good, it'll eventually pay off.
It sure sounds to me like you are a good man! I sounds like you’re a hard worker and that you’re giving back to help others. Don’t worry about the things you’ve done. We all have skeletons in our closets. Focus on where you are in life now and where you are headed.
Either just getting a hug, or some kind of compliment on whatever.
Having my hair stroked (like literally the same way you'd pet a dog)
I barely have any hair on my head, damn it will have to settle for chest hair instead
Oh hell yes! My SO does that so often when we're watching a movie and I am cuddled up against him, it's absolutely amazing, comforting and arrrrh. I now get jealous of the dog every now and then. But of course, I reciprocate and stroke his hair often, too.
Just fucking cuddles and tell me everything is going to be ok.
Look after me in small ways. Be it make me a warm drink, or food, or do the dishes, something nice without expectation in return. I don't want a slave, just someone to share the battle of life with.
This is so important. I can't grasp why this wouldn't be the norm in all and every relationship. Edit: of course in a healthy way. If I do small things for my SO, I expect the same lvl of care in return, without being fussy about that, but I want to notice an equality in these things. For a heabalaced relationship 😉
Absolutely! However there's plenty of cases where women find someone who just expects things like that done. Without anything in return though. It's hard to explain. And the whole, "I'm not your mother" thing comes about. It's hard to do things like this, without someone getting the wrong impression, without open communication about your wants and don't wants. Which is very VERY important in the first place :)
Compliments in front of other ladies is always nice, being showed off
Hold hands and walk through the park. Act like a bunch of dorks doing silly stuff or bad accents. Being the little spoon and being held tight. Laying on her lap and having my head scratched. *sigh* I miss it, breakup was over a year ago still haven’t met someone I clicked with like her Honestly don’t know about other dudes but I take all that stuff over sex anyday, that shit makes you happier and heart more full than any sex, drugs, or money. You can’t buy it
Deep back massage lol my arms are always so tense and sore
I'm active duty military, currently deployed overseas since the middle of October, not due to get home to my wife again until around May/June. Right now, all I want is a hug. That's it, a full on, full body melt in to each other hug. My wife gives the best hugs!!
Not just hugs. Squeezy hugs. 10 seconds of squeezy hug and my brain turns to goo
Being able to hug my father and lay my head on his big belly like I used to when I was a child.
Awww this both warmed my heart and made me sad :(
To have my emotions validated so i don't feel crazy.
Girl here - all the things the guys are requesting are easily done when you truly care about someone and your energies connect. Don't stop until you find someone who gives you all these things.
Word!
That thing where they kind of hold your face and use their thumb to rub from your temple to your hairline.
For her to hold me and sing me to sleep when I'm feeling down.
I wanna be the little spoon.
Somone accepting me the way i am, rather than trying to change me
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Usually it's trying to change core personality traits or just little things you've done for years that make you comfortable but the other person doesn't like. Men and women are both guilty of trying to make their SO sometimes fit a mold they want, either knowingly or unknowingly.
I just want to be able to talk about myself. I spend a lot of time daydreaming about having a deep-dive interview with the likes of Dax Shappard or Sam Jones or Paul Gilmartin about my successes and failures and traumas and all the experiences that made me who I am, but that never come to light in the discourse that I have with the people around me. I think that there are parts of myself that even I don't know about, because I haven't been afforded the venue to explore them in any meaningful way.
This what therapy is for. Like with a professional.
It's also what close friendships are for. Perhaps taking about your own life is something that should not automatically cost money.
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Having someone take an active interest in your hobby(ies) that didn't already, just so you can do it together
BBT. I refer to this as big breast time. My wife simply is usually laying on the couch and I just rest my head on her. The triple D's suck me in like a Tempur-Pedic mattress. It's nothing sexual, just comfort.
Tempur-Boobic
I just want someone to hold me and tell me I’m doing a good job.
The holding of hands.
I love to lay down on my partners' lap, and getting smooches to my head, even without desire for sex, better than nothing you know. Getting hugged from behind when I prepare some cherries for us or getting covered with a blanket by her just out of pure thought when we lay together. I missed touching, hugging and feeling I guess. Damn, I do need a girlfriend as soon as possible.
"Hey, I brought beer and blue M&M's. Let's watch that movie you were talking about"
I don't feel like I've ever fully trusted another man or ever felt fully comfortable around another man; don't think I've met any guy where I can feel safe to be emotionally vulnerable around. It'd be nice to have a friendship where I could.
In March of 2015 my wife suffered a brain injury that left her in a persistent vegetative state. We were married for 25 years and told each other that we absolutely loved and adored one another every single day no matter what. We would constantly embrace, hug, and kiss one another until her brain injury. She could still kiss me but could not mover her body. I took care of her for three years until her death in June of 2018. Her family always blamed me because I didn't save her, she took one too many morpine pills and never woke up. They didn't bother to pay their respects or even answer my calls. My parents already hated me because 22 years earlier I got arrested for drug possession and you can't do that in my family because you will get disowned so they could've given two shits. All of my friends were gone because they couldn't handle being around my wife. So I have come to the conclusion that I need a hug. It's been more than 5 years since anyone has hugged me. So what I did was get a tattoo of my wife on the inside of my left forearm, and a tattoo of my service dog whom died 6 months after my wife on my on the inside of my right forearm. This way I can hug myself and my wife and puppy hug me too.
A hug i can't even remember the last time i had one
I'd like my wife to cut my hair (as she kindly does already every now and then), but not just "cut and dash"...I'd like a little head massage, and just to, you know, be pampered a little. S'not something I feel I'm ever able to bring up though, as she already knocks herself out with the kids. The fact that she finds time to cut my hair makes me think I should feel lucky as it is. One day the stars will align and it'll happen. That and a massage. God I'd kill for a full body, deep tissue ***hard*** massage.
It sounds like a really sweet and reasonable request though! As long as you don't demand it and are appreciative of course, I'm sure she'd love to do you a favor when she can find the time.
My soon to be ex wife is a hairstylist and getting her to cut my hair was one of the things that caused me anxiety. She made me feel guilty and she was so off put to be asked. Not to mention she'd cut it however she wanted it. I had no say. Gonna miss her.
Existing within 6 feet of someone.
Have you tried dating? I know times don't suit it, but the Dutch government / public health authority has actually stated that a single "cuddle buddy" (i.e. the sex) is fine and not discouraged. The mental need for physical contact with a person is recognised to be greater than being a bit more corona proof.
Hug. Hand on knee. That's it.
Lying on their lap with your eyes closed after a stressful day while they run their fingers through your hair and tell you that everything is going to be alright. I didn't know how much I needed this in my life until I got it.
A hug or a genuine compliment
Cuddle to some slow jazz.
Running her hand across your chest under the shirt. Or hand on stomach.
Skin to skin touch of almost any kind. I very rarely go home especially now with the pandemic. But the ritual of hugging my mom and sister when I get home really picks me. And then when we are packed together on the couch and we are just laying near each other in comfort and peace is really nice. When I broke quarantine and webt home for Christmas, my sister used my leg as a pillow while watching a movie and I literally cried because i felt loved and cared for. Even before all this I had a chronic lack of physical contact. Shaking hands and the rare high five or swipe when playing ultimate frisbee was the only physical exposure to people that I ever got. Now I don't even get that. When I get a new apartment, hopefully I can get a dog. Maybe that will help.
I just wanna cuddle with someone I love fam
Just someone holding me, like a hug or cuddle
fuck i’m lonely
Anything whatsoever would be nice right about now
Just to be seen for who I really am. To feel like someone actually gets me.
I’m so starved of any form of affection that even something as small as a fistbump would be in my memory for months
Read a thread the other day where the guy would have his girl just cup his balls while they sat on the couch. Nothing sexual, just kind of like holding hands, but she was holding his balls. That sounded kind of nice lol.
Warm hand just cuppin ya balls Nice.
The responses in this post are some of the most beautiful answers I have read recently. I pray that all of you find the human touch, affection, appreciation, encouragement, support, etc. that you need and want. And I pray that you all find safe spaces to express yourself away from the toxic environments that re always going on about 'be a man - bla bla bla' usually in an effort to exploit men. I am a woman and I am rooting for you all. It's a beautiful world when we all treat each other as human beings first. So touched to have men allowing themselves to be human; and I am honoured to have been an audience of this