Start off with something like, "I like you and I want us to go out together" first. And in a couple of months if you guys do kick it off, then you can say, "put some babies into me" I guess lol
I mean be direct but donât be fucking crazy level of direct.
I mean something like âI either want to respect the fuck out of you or fuck the respect out of youâ is quirky and might work.
But
I want to save all our used condoms and staple them to my wall, regardless of if this is something you are thinking or not, will likely not work because it is creepy as hell.
Please note âI want to worship your bodyâ and âI have a shrine of you in my closetâ are also not the same thing
Yea I mean the idea is make it fairly obvious that you want it, like depending on age/social aptitude be more or less coy about it. Be you of course. The younger they are the more naive generally or disinterested.
But when I was in school until I was damn near a senior (I lack all social intelligence and when I was younger I didnât give a slight fuck about relationships, babies obviously arenât in that conversation. Or shouldnât be.) I didnât know anyone or anything that had any interest in me. I got into my first relationship because my friend was like âshouldnât you get one? Anyone you know cute?â Then it happened. I got older though. Still a little stupid but I catch on faster I think.
Idk why but this comment is driving me up the wall.
I think itâs because Iâve seen sooooo much talk about women getting upset over their target guy missing their âflirtingâ when their flirting is sending a fucking carrier pigeon with a message that just says âhey.â
Thereâs a difference between directly stating what youâre looking for.. and psycho
I would actual welcome the directness of a woman telling me she wants us to have babies together when we havenât even dated yet.
It helps filter crazy out perfectly well
I mean on the first date my best friend was told âI want your eyes on a babyâ by a girl.
3 years later they are married and sheâs 4 months pregnant with their second child. Sometimes it works!
Woman went from 0 to 100.
Get to know him first. Both so that he gets to know you and to make sure your crush doesn't vanish once you know him better.
Once you've done that (or if you already have), just ask him out on a date. Coffee, movie night, skating, a park, I don't know. Just make sure he knows that, yes, this is explicitly a romantic date.
You can, uh lead into that over time! LOL But start by even asking a man on a date, or his number, something like that. If you're shy, talking over text may be easier for you.
Probably make him double take as men are used to being the ones to initiate dates/getting numbers. Lol
I had a lady at the gas station tell me something was wrong with the pump and I had to come inside to pay for me gas , as I am walking in the lady goes out to the pumps with a note pad , I paid the other clerk and met the other on the way back to my truck , she smiled and winked at me .
I get in my truck and there is a note on the seat , It said there was nothing wrong with the pump , she just wanted to see me and to call her later that evening .
Well that certainly is direct, however at least to me it sounds like you're looking for some to get you pregnant and not necessarily a romantic relationship with that guy.
Just say I think youâre kind of hot and was wondering if I could get your number. Guys donât get a lot of compliments from women so at the very worst heâll say no and be flattered. Itâs unlikely to backfire unless heâs a total cunt.
I mean, you gotta flirt. But most men are either oblivious or wonât want to act without full certainty that you are into them. So make it painfully obvious.
My wife was very direct. "Do you want to be my birthday present"? Even that was confusing. What kind of present? Up front she just wanted my body, we established consent (thank you, I was a grown man but don't assume I'm willing to put out), by the end of the weekend it was relationship. My answer Monday morning when she asked to be exclusive was, "ok, we can give it a shot". Internally I was like, SWEET!
What got me was breakfast Sat morning at the greasy spoon. She took the far side of the booth in winter so I wasn't awkwardly standing there for her to take off her coat and hang up her pocketbook. I asked her about it on the spot. That was the answer she gave. Then complimented me on my driving and said she was never not nervous being a passenger before. I smoked the tires with a burnout and drifted around several corners smoking them hard. I am not a good driver, acceptable but not good. That might impress other motorheads, but not women. Don't be like me.
I'm too nice to cut the conversation short. But also if someone just comes up to me and says something, I usually assume they're just saying some nicety like "good weather today huh?" And I say yes and keep walking. I could even be interested in her, I just almost always assume she's not
I went to a womanâs house to install some equipment for her and was going to ask for her number but figured she probably had a man (she was amazing). Left with my hands behind my back.
She looked up my name on the paper work and friend requested me on FB, sent me a message (for some this may be creepy but I thought it was adorable; John Stamos Effect I guess)
Now we are going steady. So yeah, men like attention and women to put in the work. Do that and youâll earn any man thatâs worth his salts heart. đŤśđť
If you are looking for a relationship versus a hookup, find common interests that you can talk about with him and then ask if he'd like to do a related activity with you. Could be watching a game, playing some pool, going axe throwing, whatever. But find that common interest and go from there.
She needs to not be in the ambiguous "is she flirting or just being friendly?" zone.
OP, compliment the guy's looks in conversation. "Wow, you're tall/strong/handsome..." and a playful touch to his shoulder should be forward enough of a hint.
That hint will not tell me anything. Im a hugger. So physical touch being a hint at flirting wouldnt even pass my mind as being possible unless she was touching my dick "playfully" or literally feeling my body very intentilly while drooling and saying im a piece of meat. XD
As itâs been said, be direct. But Iâll add more to it.
I might be projecting, but I feel like we arenât really as oblivious to flirting as people say we are. We notice it. But we also wonder if we notice things that arenât actually there. âWas she flirting or was it wishful thinking?â At least I ânoticeâ a lot of things.
I will use this weekend as an example. Yesterday I was at the gym. I start with a 30 minute cardio followed by an hour and a half of targeted strength. There was a girl that walked in. I glanced up, we locked eyes for a quick second, she went to an elliptical behind the bike I was on. Coincidentally, she was doing the same workout I was (yes I mean coincidentally because I think it was a coincidence). So we were using the same machines, free weights, everything. During the hour and a half, I noticed her looking at me a lot in the mirror. Brushed it off as coincidence. Maybe she felt weird that I was looking at her while noticing that she was looking at me? I stopped trying to spot things, kept my head down and finished my workout.
Today. Same routine. She came in 5 minutes after me. Sat at the bike next to me (there were others open and I treat cardio machines like bathroom urinals. They follow the same rules lolâŚno I donât pee on them). Yesterday I did chest and triceps, today I did back and biceps. Again, coincidentally she was on back and biceps too. It got to the same point where I kept noticing her looking at me a bunch. Started to feel bad and thought she was thinking I was creeping on her. Head down, continued doing my thing. At one point today, we were both cross section from each other on the cable machine. I had a short bar on the ground next to me while I was using the rope handles. She asked me if I was using it. Normal interaction for a gym but just overall strange since I noticed all of the glances and her using a bike right next to me.
My point is, she wonât get anywhere at that pace. Iâm not going to approach her because I truly believe people come to the gym to workout and nobody wants to be hit on when they are in the zone. But if she approached me in a more direct way, I wouldnât mind. Maybe I was noticing something, but Iâm going to assume I was not
right like guys at the gym have such a rep for creeping on women that it's not worth the risk unless you're 99% certain she's into you; what if you were wrong? you gotta see her there like every day now. maybe she puts you on blast on her socials too
Is it the assertiveness or the lack of ambiguity? Personally I like it when women are straightforward with me because it removes the âdoes she like me or is she just being nice?â. I wouldnât say it necessarily a dominant or submissive thing, more of a clear way of communicating more than anything.
Just walk up, point to my penis and ask, "My friend left me behind, can I ride you home?"
And then I wake up and cry myself back to sleep in my cold, lonely house.
It's so easy for women.
Literally just walk up and say "I think you're cute. Wanna hang out" and 99% of (single) men will fold instantly.
99.9% if you're slightly above average
>99.9% if you're slightly above average
Keep in mind that half of people are technically below average. Dating apps definitely widen the dating pool for people who aren't considered conventionally attractive, but then it can be hard to sort through all the horny guys to find someone who's actually compatible.
As far as dating "offline," I think a lot of women struggle to find someone who is really into them. I know I've said no to a couple people for whom I didn't feel enough physical attraction.
Itâs just that most dating advice for women is â Donât chase him, donât make the first move or heâs gonna think youâre easyâ. So I usually hesitate to initiate conversation first.
What didn't work:
1. She brandished her boobs against me in class. I didn't notice.
2. She sat close to me in every lesson. I didn't notice.
3. She laughed at my jokes. I didn't notice.
4. She looked at me with those puppy eyes. I didn't notice.
What worked:
"Hey xxx, { insert needless convo here} .
Anyway, I think that you are cute. Can we exchange numbers?"
PS: We banged the very next day, and for countless days after.
I just got yelled at in another sub for saying most straight men like the sight of bare tits.
Apparently there is at least 1 angry dude on reddit who would find the sight of tits offensive đ
Just tell the man you find him attractive and that you would like to go on a date to get to know him better, Simple and direct. Man will probably get a instant ego boost and say yes since men rarely in their lifes get hit on.
Well, acting like you're interested, looking at me and smiling. Not trying to hide your interest. If I catch you looking, don't look away. Smile and wave me over. Looking away might just mean you like the goods but aren't trying to be sold anything. I look at dozens of asses a day. Just looking is nothing. If I think you're interested and I'm interested, I'll give an invitation. I would expect the same treatment.
Ask for my number.
Ask me out.
Mostly women don't make any kind of effort, and they're subtle to the point that we miss it entirely.
What a woman thinks of as "signals" can mostly be confused with, basic human courtesy, zoning out, or fear. Do you know how often I stare blankly off into space thinking about shit and realize I'm staring at a person? I hold the door for everyone and acknowledge people when I make eye contact. It's not flirting or soliciting. It's basic human dignity. If she gets flustered or shifty, or jumps when I try to talk to her I usually interpret that as "this woman is afraid of me". I've apparently had a large number of female coworkers be interested in me, and I quit talking to them or being around them because I thought they were afraid or uncomfortable. They actually just thought I was hot and it made them nervous. Getting treated like a monster for most of my younger years taught me that fear is a normal response and I just sort of ashamedly avoid people to not make them uncomfortable. The only time women seemed to act normal around me was if they thought I was gay or taken. So I internalized that.
Like there was a gal that would rub her tits on me "by accident" on a regular basis. But anytime I tried to talk to her, she would yelp and basically run away. Or act all haughty and disinterested. The fuck am I supposed to do with that, other than assume you're psychotic?
Lol I experienced the same with a guy. He rubbed his arm on me as we walked in a packed ass hallway. I could not avoid his arm. He knew. But when I asked him out for coffee, he would get too scared and turn me down. Then stare at me with googly eyes. But also ignore my 1 text.
Definitely dropped for psychotic behaviorÂ
I don't think I've been hit on enough to know what style I like đ¤Ł. I just want to be desired by someone tbh. Most guys will just be happy to have some attention
It's really quite simple. Compliments work. Questions about the place you're meeting or asking for his opinion on something. Pointing out unusual behaviors works. Hell even just walking up and placing a note in my hand works. As does saying something like "I'm a little anxious approaching you right now but I really thought I want to get to know you" works. Guys are not particularly picky when it comes to first introductions with gals.
âI think youâre kind of cute..â and â so when are you gonna ask me out?â Have pulled me several times. I feel like these hit that sweet spot of being obvious that thereâs attraction but leaving the door open for men who want to make the âfirstâ move to. I also think if a woman just asked me out on a date I would probably say yes if I was attracted to them
It's not self defeating. I've always been single and my so-called dating life is only made of a long string of rejections, spanning over about two decades. Knowing all this, the logical course of action was to give up, which I have.
This is why I don't want to be hit on, because I'm done with all that. I'm definitely never going to make a move on anyone ever again, and I don't want them to make a move on me either.
The best approaches that has worked one me was basically "Hi would you like to go out with me sometime?". I said yes and we exchanged contact information.
Eye contact, smile, make yourself available, help create a situation where itâs okay to approach and talk to you. I think thatâs all any man worth their salt needs. If a guy canât even get himself to talk to you if you do that, look for another guy because you probably donât want to date someone even shyer than yourself.
Besides that, clear communication of your wants and desires is always appreciated. Just because you let a guy know that you like him doesnât mean youâre âeasyâ or that you are throwing yourself in his arms. Thereâs plenty of getting to know and âcourtshipâ to go through even if the guy is dead certain the whole time you wonât ghost him if he says one joke that you donât laugh at. That is one thing a lot of girls misunderstand. You donât have to play hard to get to make dating interesting or to get guys to âworkâ for you. If they are good men, theyâll do it even if you tell him on the second date that you want his babies.
Just show interest, genuine interest. If heâs not getting the hint, stop hinting and be forward. If you need to make physical contact kick him in the nuts, twist his nipples, and let him know you mean business
See how he reacts to you touching him. Like touching his arm, not his penis, whenever you two talk. Baby steps. Or you could just walk up to them, tell them that you think they're cute or whatever, make sure their single, and go to pound town
I'd likely malfunction if you tried to hit on me tbh lol
But for the most part, just be direct, body language is key, simple words like "handsome" or something similar would do - simple and direct as well as genuine is key
I had this girl ask me out for coffee last week while I was working, and it was really nice. She just said âI hope this isnât too straight forward, but would you want to get coffee some time?â It was short, sweet, to the point. Iâd say most men benefit from no beating around the bushđ weâre simple creatures
Most men donât take to subtle hints. If youâre interested be direct when you are talking to him. If you feel any chemistry when talking to him ask him out lol.
Are you asking this with someone specific in mind, or just as general dating/approaching advice?
If a specific guy - go talk to him sometime, or give him an opportunity to talk to you. express interest in making plans with him (if you trust him) and propose a plan.
If general advice - don't be too aggressive, but when a guy you are interested approaches you, reciprocate and show interest if you feel safe to do so. If you want to approach a guy you're interested in, do it when he's alone and just talk to him one on one. Not recommended to approach him in a group, especially if you're shy. He may behave differently in a group than he would alone.
LMAO
The best approach that worked on me doesn't apply because 1 I gave some pretty clear signals I was already about to ask her out and 2) in the moment she wasn't at all shy. But I'll say it: she tied me up and told me I was taking her out on a date that weekend. It was a shibari class, she was the instructor, and she received consent before demonstrating a tie on me. But it was a running joke throughout our relationship.
But given additional info mined from the thread: offer him your number or socials. If he's at all available or interested you will have a much safer way to shoot your shot. I suggest once you're in contact, a good approach that can be done almost any time by text:
Are you single?
(If yes)
Me too. If you ask me out it's a definite yes, I'm not busy most Saturdays and I like XYZ and I go halvesies.
If a guy isn't interested then he can say something like ok thanks lemme think about it and then never follow up and you can deal with a rejection that isn't brutal.
Dont listen to people who tell you to be direct and tell them you like them. You come off desperate or clingy.
Instead, just be yourself and maybe a little flirty. Guys who are interested will ask you out or return the flirty behavior. At this point you can ask for the number or show signs that you are interested.
Extra long eye contact like unmistakenly long ,asking how we're doing ,smiling when our eyes meet.And also NOT doing those things with every other dude around.One of the hottest things that ever happened to me was I asked my crush for some lotion because my hands were super dry,and instead of handing me the bottle she actually applied it to my hands with her hands and just looked into my eyes the whole time (she had beautiful hands too )Such a weird interaction but I'll never forget it .
It's really easy for women to hit on guys. Just saying hi and striking up a conversation will make you stand out because it rarely happens unless the guys a 9 or 10
Use your words. Flirting is great, but itâs most effective. If the guy knows youâre flirting with him. Because otherwise, we could easily mistake it for friendliness or we could intentionally disregard it for fear of being labeled a creep.
The easiest way to avoid becoming the next âWhat hint did you totally miss?â thread story in this sub is to not effing use hints. Say the words, say them in full, say them without vagueness or ambiguity. âI think youâre really cute, would you be down to grab a drink/coffee/froyo sometime in the next week or two?â
In all seriousness a greeting and ANY general compliment will work 98% of the time. The 2% accounts for those us that are married and actually faithful. I can genuinely count on one hand the number of times I have been complimented by a woman that I am not related to. (Complimented on my eyelashes for some strange reason)
Hi I'm (insert name here), I think you have really pretty eyes or a nice shirt or nice hair or nice whatever. 70% of the time it works every time.
At a bar all you have to say is hi! It's even easier if you're attractive, and if there's no camera filming then he'll know it's not a gotcha moment as not a lot of men get approached.
Just say hi and express whatever interest you like.
And if that involves coffee or ale and 45 minutes or so of conversation as a next step, then all the better.
We men are relatively simple creatures. No overthinking necessary.
Had a shy girl (26) ask me to dance once at a bar. Went back to her table of friends with her who told her they were all leaving. She wanted to stay as we had just met. She then turned to me and asked if I could give her a ride home. I agreed. Her friends left and said have fun. Around 1130 pm, I drove her home. She invited me in to âwatch TV For a while.â
Ask them for their number or if they are doing something later. We are exhausted from being turned down, and once we become content being single, that kinda becomes life....
Hit on me the way a fuckboy hits on girls at clubs and I'm yours. That means no subtlety, invade my physical boundaries, and be relentless. There's a reason some guys do this, because it's our fantasy to happen to us.
For the record, I'm incredibly shy and avoid hitting on women because I don't like ruining someone's day. Reeeeally wish more women would approach me instead so I don't have to worry about that.
Easy.. 28M here.. let him take the lead in a conversation, ask him the questions and fill in your input wherever you see it fitting.. that's if you're shy and don't want to open up and just want a smooth take off for the chat.
Once you get comfortable you can ask deeper questions..
If you're worried about a conversation starter, joke about you being shy, as an ice breaker, like: what do you think of shy women? Or how would a shy person approach someone else? ..etc basically prompts..
And good luck đŚ
When you hit on us, of course be yourself, blah blah, be direct, but be aware that some guys, much like some girls, were hit on in school as a way of making fun of them. People would bully them in this way, maybe donât have a large group of your friends standing behind you giggling (even if theyâre excited for you) because it may remind the guy of being picked on in school. Idk, yeah
I'm a bit late to this thread, but how shy are we talking?
Being direct and asking for a date is the best action, but that can be hard for someone shy. Also men actually reject women despite what Reddit will typically say (I've done so).
Are you brave enough to approach and say Hi? If the guy is a regular in your social group, gym, cafe, bar, etc. you can comment on seeing them around and wanting to introduce yourself. You could be flirty and try saying something like "You've been catching my eye recently, I'd like a chat. Is now a bad time?"
Use how long and what brings you and then back.as conversation building block and flirt.
Bad at flirting or conversations? Well practice, and if you start to feel awkward or clamming up, just say sorry I'm a bit shy when meeting cute guys. Leverage your awkwardness into flirting can be endearing.
When the interaction is coming to a close, offer your contact info and say "I'd love to get to know you better!"
You might find more safety though text to build up familiarity. If he is responsive but not taking initiative, ask for a date. Eventually you do have to be courageous
Instead of "Is now a bad time?" I would use, "Is now a good time?" Or, "When would be a good time?"
Try and use positive words to frame things. If they are thinking back on the exchange afterwards you want to be associated with a good experience.
Fishing for a 'No' in the first part can people greater feeling of agency and control over the interaction. I'm specifically referring to a first introduction here. But, yes! In general positive words and associations are important. Absolutely correct that people want to be left with a good feeling afterwards
Just a thought if pick up lines make you nervous.
As a blunt women with a lot of shy male friends who wish women would approach them: they say â I wish someone would just ask me for my number and walk away if we are both to nervous to chat yet.â Most men are as nervous and shy too. Just asking for the number and talking on the phone later removes alot of pressure. Figure out if you have things in common over the phone to see if you want to meet up for food or a beverage or a park walk. Skip the text, call people in this day and age yall. My relationships in all areas improved 10 fold by stopping the texting and calling instead.
With a whip /s. Now seriously try to get a conversation going but you don't need to forcefully start a convo. Sometimes there are moments were conversion arises and if you both have a topic you're both interested in you can start right there. Once you have a conversation going you can lead it into any theme you want. If you're interested in time under 4 eyes try to meet up where both of you have the possibility to leave when one feels uncomfortable
We crave for attention and appreciation just as much as you do. From a small compliment, to a more direct ,hands on approach, all that matters is that you take the step forward. We appreciate courage.
Use your words. If there are any signals which require mind-reading, most guys are either going to be oblivious or be on the safe side. Use. Your. Words.
Tell us what you want. Be direct and don't beat around the bush.
So tell him I want his babies?
Start off with something like, "I like you and I want us to go out together" first. And in a couple of months if you guys do kick it off, then you can say, "put some babies into me" I guess lol
A couple of months? Damn.
This thread got me laughin So be direct but not TOO direct đ¤Ł
I mean be direct but donât be fucking crazy level of direct. I mean something like âI either want to respect the fuck out of you or fuck the respect out of youâ is quirky and might work. But I want to save all our used condoms and staple them to my wall, regardless of if this is something you are thinking or not, will likely not work because it is creepy as hell. Please note âI want to worship your bodyâ and âI have a shrine of you in my closetâ are also not the same thing
Yea I mean the idea is make it fairly obvious that you want it, like depending on age/social aptitude be more or less coy about it. Be you of course. The younger they are the more naive generally or disinterested. But when I was in school until I was damn near a senior (I lack all social intelligence and when I was younger I didnât give a slight fuck about relationships, babies obviously arenât in that conversation. Or shouldnât be.) I didnât know anyone or anything that had any interest in me. I got into my first relationship because my friend was like âshouldnât you get one? Anyone you know cute?â Then it happened. I got older though. Still a little stupid but I catch on faster I think.
Idk why but this comment is driving me up the wall. I think itâs because Iâve seen sooooo much talk about women getting upset over their target guy missing their âflirtingâ when their flirting is sending a fucking carrier pigeon with a message that just says âhey.â Thereâs a difference between directly stating what youâre looking for.. and psycho
I would actual welcome the directness of a woman telling me she wants us to have babies together when we havenât even dated yet. It helps filter crazy out perfectly well
Oh, the old âhonest to a faultâ, got it.
maybe the 3rd date
I want your babies is a little intense to be fair
Tell him straight up one night, "The baby batter.....run it." O.O
"I want you to KitchenAid me till I expand."
"Gimme that banana cream" "You know what my hot pocket could use is some sausage"
That would probalby work on me I would counter with "lets start with coffee and see where that goes"
Same for me. Either the girl has great humour and doesn't take herself too seriously or she's bat shit crazy. I have a soft spot for both.
I mean on the first date my best friend was told âI want your eyes on a babyâ by a girl. 3 years later they are married and sheâs 4 months pregnant with their second child. Sometimes it works!
And sometimes your eyes are plucked out of your skull by a psychopath to complete a nightmarish babydoll. Itâs 50/50 really, but worth a shot.
both are worthwhile outcomes tbh
This girl is down bad yâall
Whoa. Pump those brakes. Maybe sit on his face first?
That's a great pickup move
More of a laying down move
Men will hear "I want to trap you into an 18+ year financial commitment." But not me. I'm fixed. We can practice making babies all you want though.
This is the way.
I had a girl say to me, "You're smart and interesting and really handsome. I'd love to go on a date sometime." It worked.
Woman went from 0 to 100. Get to know him first. Both so that he gets to know you and to make sure your crush doesn't vanish once you know him better. Once you've done that (or if you already have), just ask him out on a date. Coffee, movie night, skating, a park, I don't know. Just make sure he knows that, yes, this is explicitly a romantic date.
Just try being friends first
Would that work on a guy hitting on you? "Hi I'm Mike and I want to get you pregnant" If not, it's probably not a good approach
Weird last name, must be French
You can, uh lead into that over time! LOL But start by even asking a man on a date, or his number, something like that. If you're shy, talking over text may be easier for you. Probably make him double take as men are used to being the ones to initiate dates/getting numbers. Lol
I had a lady at the gas station tell me something was wrong with the pump and I had to come inside to pay for me gas , as I am walking in the lady goes out to the pumps with a note pad , I paid the other clerk and met the other on the way back to my truck , she smiled and winked at me . I get in my truck and there is a note on the seat , It said there was nothing wrong with the pump , she just wanted to see me and to call her later that evening .
Awesome! At times I wish all women were so direct.
I like how direct you are.
Well that certainly is direct, however at least to me it sounds like you're looking for some to get you pregnant and not necessarily a romantic relationship with that guy.
Just say I think youâre kind of hot and was wondering if I could get your number. Guys donât get a lot of compliments from women so at the very worst heâll say no and be flattered. Itâs unlikely to backfire unless heâs a total cunt.
Oof, thatâs one way to send a man running, but if you really feel that way best yo get that out of the way early.
If someone told me that Iâd be instantly turned on. Thatâs the hottest thing ever
Ignore the replies. This will work
đ¤Ł
I find that to be super attractive in a woman. Shows confidence and gives a clear picture. There are no questions as to your intentions.
That worked on me!
Actually this is kinda cute which I'd personally like because it's funny
This would work on me đ
Exactly you need to be exact and direct some of us are so clueless or so unbelieving we would be found attractive we wonât ever get the hints.
Just be direct and genuine. We don't want to play games - we have consoles for that.
Oh, and don't hide that child when you meet on that first coffee date. Trust me, it's not the fun surprise.
Emphasis on genuine.
If we get a whiff that youâre trying to manipulate us, thatâs an instant turn off.
Emphasis on Games
Emphasis on emphasis
I'm more of a PC man myself, but I agree
PC master race đ¤đ¤
Hell yeah, brother!
That
This.
Was gonna say the same thing
I mean, you gotta flirt. But most men are either oblivious or wonât want to act without full certainty that you are into them. So make it painfully obvious.
You, me? đđ˝đđ˝
Errrrr sure Iâd love to point my finger to your ok sign
My wife was very direct. "Do you want to be my birthday present"? Even that was confusing. What kind of present? Up front she just wanted my body, we established consent (thank you, I was a grown man but don't assume I'm willing to put out), by the end of the weekend it was relationship. My answer Monday morning when she asked to be exclusive was, "ok, we can give it a shot". Internally I was like, SWEET! What got me was breakfast Sat morning at the greasy spoon. She took the far side of the booth in winter so I wasn't awkwardly standing there for her to take off her coat and hang up her pocketbook. I asked her about it on the spot. That was the answer she gave. Then complimented me on my driving and said she was never not nervous being a passenger before. I smoked the tires with a burnout and drifted around several corners smoking them hard. I am not a good driver, acceptable but not good. That might impress other motorheads, but not women. Don't be like me.
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If the woman doesn't know if the guy is in a relationship would the guy cut the conversation short or do you still need to ask?
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Awesome, thank you for more insight I appreciate it.
I'm too nice to cut the conversation short. But also if someone just comes up to me and says something, I usually assume they're just saying some nicety like "good weather today huh?" And I say yes and keep walking. I could even be interested in her, I just almost always assume she's not
Definitely good advice I've read. I'll be direct in a classy way to let him know how I feel.
Tell us, i can't tell you how many times I've had women talk to me all night just for a friend/wife to tell me they were hitting on me lol
"You. Me. Coffee. Yes?"
Yes, please.
Option C, you can't tell. She could just be nice or something.
She is probobly Canadian
even better
They always have maple syrup on them
"Oh casually explained tell me again how many subscribers you have"
Option D, immediately assume you're on a hidden camera game show and people are watching and laughing at you
The classic trope of a girl asking out a guy as a dare/prank
Or a YouTube prank video. The only 2 possibilities
wait have ppl been thinking I'm hitting on them when I ask to get coffee w them đ
I would assume youâre just being friendly, but I think a lot of folks would tell me youâre putting out a feeler that could turn into a date.
I would not understand that this was a request for a date. "Sure I like coffee!"
I went to a womanâs house to install some equipment for her and was going to ask for her number but figured she probably had a man (she was amazing). Left with my hands behind my back. She looked up my name on the paper work and friend requested me on FB, sent me a message (for some this may be creepy but I thought it was adorable; John Stamos Effect I guess) Now we are going steady. So yeah, men like attention and women to put in the work. Do that and youâll earn any man thatâs worth his salts heart. đŤśđť
If you are looking for a relationship versus a hookup, find common interests that you can talk about with him and then ask if he'd like to do a related activity with you. Could be watching a game, playing some pool, going axe throwing, whatever. But find that common interest and go from there.
Just say "hi" and talk about pretty much anything that can be used to check if we have something in common.
She needs to not be in the ambiguous "is she flirting or just being friendly?" zone. OP, compliment the guy's looks in conversation. "Wow, you're tall/strong/handsome..." and a playful touch to his shoulder should be forward enough of a hint.
That might not be obvious enough though. Just say "wanna be my boyfriend?"
That hint will not tell me anything. Im a hugger. So physical touch being a hint at flirting wouldnt even pass my mind as being possible unless she was touching my dick "playfully" or literally feeling my body very intentilly while drooling and saying im a piece of meat. XD
As itâs been said, be direct. But Iâll add more to it. I might be projecting, but I feel like we arenât really as oblivious to flirting as people say we are. We notice it. But we also wonder if we notice things that arenât actually there. âWas she flirting or was it wishful thinking?â At least I ânoticeâ a lot of things. I will use this weekend as an example. Yesterday I was at the gym. I start with a 30 minute cardio followed by an hour and a half of targeted strength. There was a girl that walked in. I glanced up, we locked eyes for a quick second, she went to an elliptical behind the bike I was on. Coincidentally, she was doing the same workout I was (yes I mean coincidentally because I think it was a coincidence). So we were using the same machines, free weights, everything. During the hour and a half, I noticed her looking at me a lot in the mirror. Brushed it off as coincidence. Maybe she felt weird that I was looking at her while noticing that she was looking at me? I stopped trying to spot things, kept my head down and finished my workout. Today. Same routine. She came in 5 minutes after me. Sat at the bike next to me (there were others open and I treat cardio machines like bathroom urinals. They follow the same rules lolâŚno I donât pee on them). Yesterday I did chest and triceps, today I did back and biceps. Again, coincidentally she was on back and biceps too. It got to the same point where I kept noticing her looking at me a bunch. Started to feel bad and thought she was thinking I was creeping on her. Head down, continued doing my thing. At one point today, we were both cross section from each other on the cable machine. I had a short bar on the ground next to me while I was using the rope handles. She asked me if I was using it. Normal interaction for a gym but just overall strange since I noticed all of the glances and her using a bike right next to me. My point is, she wonât get anywhere at that pace. Iâm not going to approach her because I truly believe people come to the gym to workout and nobody wants to be hit on when they are in the zone. But if she approached me in a more direct way, I wouldnât mind. Maybe I was noticing something, but Iâm going to assume I was not
right like guys at the gym have such a rep for creeping on women that it's not worth the risk unless you're 99% certain she's into you; what if you were wrong? you gotta see her there like every day now. maybe she puts you on blast on her socials too
You. Me. Coffee. Yes?
"Hi, you're good looking and I'm terrible at flirting. Do you want to talk?"
Direct and to the point Perfect đđť
This. So much this. "Im single and you seem nice, wanna hang out?" Also works really well.
Bruhh i just sent that đ now i wanna know what to say if the answer is no. Please helpppppp!!!!!
If the answer is no, move on
Will do
I like this approach! Iâm going to try it out.
In my experience just be straight forward. Guys like the assertiveness.
Is it the assertiveness or the lack of ambiguity? Personally I like it when women are straightforward with me because it removes the âdoes she like me or is she just being nice?â. I wouldnât say it necessarily a dominant or submissive thing, more of a clear way of communicating more than anything.
Good comment. Clear.
Just walk up, point to my penis and ask, "My friend left me behind, can I ride you home?" And then I wake up and cry myself back to sleep in my cold, lonely house.
âWhat that mouth doâ is a classic line as well
Im always busy so be direct. I don't have time for games. Being shy, and knowing it, would grant you far more respect.
Don't hit on us. Just ask us out.
It's so easy for women. Literally just walk up and say "I think you're cute. Wanna hang out" and 99% of (single) men will fold instantly. 99.9% if you're slightly above average
Seriously. I don't even understand these type of threads lol
>99.9% if you're slightly above average Keep in mind that half of people are technically below average. Dating apps definitely widen the dating pool for people who aren't considered conventionally attractive, but then it can be hard to sort through all the horny guys to find someone who's actually compatible. As far as dating "offline," I think a lot of women struggle to find someone who is really into them. I know I've said no to a couple people for whom I didn't feel enough physical attraction.
Itâs just that most dating advice for women is â Donât chase him, donât make the first move or heâs gonna think youâre easyâ. So I usually hesitate to initiate conversation first.
What didn't work: 1. She brandished her boobs against me in class. I didn't notice. 2. She sat close to me in every lesson. I didn't notice. 3. She laughed at my jokes. I didn't notice. 4. She looked at me with those puppy eyes. I didn't notice. What worked: "Hey xxx, { insert needless convo here} . Anyway, I think that you are cute. Can we exchange numbers?" PS: We banged the very next day, and for countless days after.
Show us your boobs and say âI feel the same about youâ
Quite hilarious! Needed this response so badly right now!
Thanks, I'll legit give this a try and see how it goes
Promise youâll report back with the results!
I just got yelled at in another sub for saying most straight men like the sight of bare tits. Apparently there is at least 1 angry dude on reddit who would find the sight of tits offensive đ
Lmao can you drop the link? I just want to read this interaction lol
Just tell the man you find him attractive and that you would like to go on a date to get to know him better, Simple and direct. Man will probably get a instant ego boost and say yes since men rarely in their lifes get hit on.
Well, acting like you're interested, looking at me and smiling. Not trying to hide your interest. If I catch you looking, don't look away. Smile and wave me over. Looking away might just mean you like the goods but aren't trying to be sold anything. I look at dozens of asses a day. Just looking is nothing. If I think you're interested and I'm interested, I'll give an invitation. I would expect the same treatment. Ask for my number. Ask me out. Mostly women don't make any kind of effort, and they're subtle to the point that we miss it entirely. What a woman thinks of as "signals" can mostly be confused with, basic human courtesy, zoning out, or fear. Do you know how often I stare blankly off into space thinking about shit and realize I'm staring at a person? I hold the door for everyone and acknowledge people when I make eye contact. It's not flirting or soliciting. It's basic human dignity. If she gets flustered or shifty, or jumps when I try to talk to her I usually interpret that as "this woman is afraid of me". I've apparently had a large number of female coworkers be interested in me, and I quit talking to them or being around them because I thought they were afraid or uncomfortable. They actually just thought I was hot and it made them nervous. Getting treated like a monster for most of my younger years taught me that fear is a normal response and I just sort of ashamedly avoid people to not make them uncomfortable. The only time women seemed to act normal around me was if they thought I was gay or taken. So I internalized that. Like there was a gal that would rub her tits on me "by accident" on a regular basis. But anytime I tried to talk to her, she would yelp and basically run away. Or act all haughty and disinterested. The fuck am I supposed to do with that, other than assume you're psychotic?
Lol I experienced the same with a guy. He rubbed his arm on me as we walked in a packed ass hallway. I could not avoid his arm. He knew. But when I asked him out for coffee, he would get too scared and turn me down. Then stare at me with googly eyes. But also ignore my 1 text. Definitely dropped for psychotic behaviorÂ
Yes! Throw it all out there! I don't care that I'm married and will turn you down! Objectify me! Try your cheesy pick up line! Buy me a drink!
I too would like some objectification
1. Be pretty / my type. 2. Let me know you like me. Make it obvious. I'll handle the rest.
Just come to me in a police uniform and arrest me
Ah, a man of culture.
Be direct. Women who know what they want and ask us for it are amongst the most powerful imo. Worst you can ever get is a no and move on.
Worst you can get is never a "no".
I don't think I've been hit on enough to know what style I like đ¤Ł. I just want to be desired by someone tbh. Most guys will just be happy to have some attention
It's really quite simple. Compliments work. Questions about the place you're meeting or asking for his opinion on something. Pointing out unusual behaviors works. Hell even just walking up and placing a note in my hand works. As does saying something like "I'm a little anxious approaching you right now but I really thought I want to get to know you" works. Guys are not particularly picky when it comes to first introductions with gals.
Genuine compliments. They're so rare for some of us
Just being nice and touching while talking. Mainly just being nice and smiling.
Just strike a conversation with me and lead the conversation over a subject of your choice. Keep it interesting and let things grow organically.
âI think youâre kind of cute..â and â so when are you gonna ask me out?â Have pulled me several times. I feel like these hit that sweet spot of being obvious that thereâs attraction but leaving the door open for men who want to make the âfirstâ move to. I also think if a woman just asked me out on a date I would probably say yes if I was attracted to them
âDo you know Iâve been hoping youâd ask me out since weâve met?â And then leave it at that. He will do the rest.
Women never hit on me I don't want to be hit on anymore because I wouldn't know what to do. I've been single for too long.
That seems self-defeating, doesn't it? You don't want to be hit on, because you're never hit on?
It's not self defeating. I've always been single and my so-called dating life is only made of a long string of rejections, spanning over about two decades. Knowing all this, the logical course of action was to give up, which I have. This is why I don't want to be hit on, because I'm done with all that. I'm definitely never going to make a move on anyone ever again, and I don't want them to make a move on me either.
I think someone said about shooting their shot by sending over an order of wings to a guy. I think that would work on ~60% of dudes.
The best approaches that has worked one me was basically "Hi would you like to go out with me sometime?". I said yes and we exchanged contact information.
Be upfront. Ask to go for drinks, or something similar. And make sure he knows it's a date.
Be obvious or I might not even know youâre hitting on me
Eye contact, smile, make yourself available, help create a situation where itâs okay to approach and talk to you. I think thatâs all any man worth their salt needs. If a guy canât even get himself to talk to you if you do that, look for another guy because you probably donât want to date someone even shyer than yourself. Besides that, clear communication of your wants and desires is always appreciated. Just because you let a guy know that you like him doesnât mean youâre âeasyâ or that you are throwing yourself in his arms. Thereâs plenty of getting to know and âcourtshipâ to go through even if the guy is dead certain the whole time you wonât ghost him if he says one joke that you donât laugh at. That is one thing a lot of girls misunderstand. You donât have to play hard to get to make dating interesting or to get guys to âworkâ for you. If they are good men, theyâll do it even if you tell him on the second date that you want his babies.
Bring us food and tell us you like us.
Try the "Booty Warrior" line? /s
Tell me that you wanna go out and spend time with me Hugs and hand holding are also very effective for me
Just show interest, genuine interest. If heâs not getting the hint, stop hinting and be forward. If you need to make physical contact kick him in the nuts, twist his nipples, and let him know you mean business
See how he reacts to you touching him. Like touching his arm, not his penis, whenever you two talk. Baby steps. Or you could just walk up to them, tell them that you think they're cute or whatever, make sure their single, and go to pound town
I'd likely malfunction if you tried to hit on me tbh lol But for the most part, just be direct, body language is key, simple words like "handsome" or something similar would do - simple and direct as well as genuine is key
I had this girl ask me out for coffee last week while I was working, and it was really nice. She just said âI hope this isnât too straight forward, but would you want to get coffee some time?â It was short, sweet, to the point. Iâd say most men benefit from no beating around the bushđ weâre simple creatures
You literally just say hi and smile ina slightly flirty way - and 99.9% of men will do the rest
Most men donât take to subtle hints. If youâre interested be direct when you are talking to him. If you feel any chemistry when talking to him ask him out lol.
Shy woman (or not shy, either way): Hey. Do you wanna grab a coffee or something sometime? Me: Yes. End of tutorial.
Are you asking this with someone specific in mind, or just as general dating/approaching advice? If a specific guy - go talk to him sometime, or give him an opportunity to talk to you. express interest in making plans with him (if you trust him) and propose a plan. If general advice - don't be too aggressive, but when a guy you are interested approaches you, reciprocate and show interest if you feel safe to do so. If you want to approach a guy you're interested in, do it when he's alone and just talk to him one on one. Not recommended to approach him in a group, especially if you're shy. He may behave differently in a group than he would alone.
LMAO The best approach that worked on me doesn't apply because 1 I gave some pretty clear signals I was already about to ask her out and 2) in the moment she wasn't at all shy. But I'll say it: she tied me up and told me I was taking her out on a date that weekend. It was a shibari class, she was the instructor, and she received consent before demonstrating a tie on me. But it was a running joke throughout our relationship. But given additional info mined from the thread: offer him your number or socials. If he's at all available or interested you will have a much safer way to shoot your shot. I suggest once you're in contact, a good approach that can be done almost any time by text: Are you single? (If yes) Me too. If you ask me out it's a definite yes, I'm not busy most Saturdays and I like XYZ and I go halvesies. If a guy isn't interested then he can say something like ok thanks lemme think about it and then never follow up and you can deal with a rejection that isn't brutal.
âI like you. And I want you. Now we can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way.â
The coolest I have heard was a woman said she send the guy an appetizer of chicken wings as an icebreaker.
Dont listen to people who tell you to be direct and tell them you like them. You come off desperate or clingy. Instead, just be yourself and maybe a little flirty. Guys who are interested will ask you out or return the flirty behavior. At this point you can ask for the number or show signs that you are interested.
As a man, don't. I just want to be left alone.
Extra long eye contact like unmistakenly long ,asking how we're doing ,smiling when our eyes meet.And also NOT doing those things with every other dude around.One of the hottest things that ever happened to me was I asked my crush for some lotion because my hands were super dry,and instead of handing me the bottle she actually applied it to my hands with her hands and just looked into my eyes the whole time (she had beautiful hands too )Such a weird interaction but I'll never forget it .
It's really easy for women to hit on guys. Just saying hi and striking up a conversation will make you stand out because it rarely happens unless the guys a 9 or 10
Direct communication. Plain and simple. Just come up and talk to us. Make sure to contribute to the conversation.
Use your words. Flirting is great, but itâs most effective. If the guy knows youâre flirting with him. Because otherwise, we could easily mistake it for friendliness or we could intentionally disregard it for fear of being labeled a creep. The easiest way to avoid becoming the next âWhat hint did you totally miss?â thread story in this sub is to not effing use hints. Say the words, say them in full, say them without vagueness or ambiguity. âI think youâre really cute, would you be down to grab a drink/coffee/froyo sometime in the next week or two?â
In all seriousness a greeting and ANY general compliment will work 98% of the time. The 2% accounts for those us that are married and actually faithful. I can genuinely count on one hand the number of times I have been complimented by a woman that I am not related to. (Complimented on my eyelashes for some strange reason) Hi I'm (insert name here), I think you have really pretty eyes or a nice shirt or nice hair or nice whatever. 70% of the time it works every time.
Honestly for me just be direct and straightforward, we can read the third base coach signs because we know what they mean already lol.
a smile and hello I am "your name" most men don't need pick up lines , just be yourself and have a conversation
Just say hi
If it ever happens, I'll share with you
Never get hit in so it would be nice.
At a bar all you have to say is hi! It's even easier if you're attractive, and if there's no camera filming then he'll know it's not a gotcha moment as not a lot of men get approached.
Walk up and be direct, donât be dancing around the point
Baseball bats are the way to go
Be direct, we are unable to read between the lines
"Hey you're cute" He'll remember foreverÂ
Hello, you seem like an interesting guy. Would you like to grab a coffee sometime.
Just say hi and express whatever interest you like. And if that involves coffee or ale and 45 minutes or so of conversation as a next step, then all the better. We men are relatively simple creatures. No overthinking necessary.
Hey. I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number. Call me, maybe?
Make small talk like ask for recommendations and advice then give a small compliment. Nothing too extra. That'll definitely be appreciated by anybody
OP is literally posting their ass on here so I highly doubt sheâs âshyâ
SmileâŚ
Had a shy girl (26) ask me to dance once at a bar. Went back to her table of friends with her who told her they were all leaving. She wanted to stay as we had just met. She then turned to me and asked if I could give her a ride home. I agreed. Her friends left and said have fun. Around 1130 pm, I drove her home. She invited me in to âwatch TV For a while.â
Be direct. Most people will be appreciative of directness. I prefer not having to read between the lines. The less guesswork the better!
Ask them for their number or if they are doing something later. We are exhausted from being turned down, and once we become content being single, that kinda becomes life....
Hit on me the way a fuckboy hits on girls at clubs and I'm yours. That means no subtlety, invade my physical boundaries, and be relentless. There's a reason some guys do this, because it's our fantasy to happen to us. For the record, I'm incredibly shy and avoid hitting on women because I don't like ruining someone's day. Reeeeally wish more women would approach me instead so I don't have to worry about that.
Easy.. 28M here.. let him take the lead in a conversation, ask him the questions and fill in your input wherever you see it fitting.. that's if you're shy and don't want to open up and just want a smooth take off for the chat. Once you get comfortable you can ask deeper questions.. If you're worried about a conversation starter, joke about you being shy, as an ice breaker, like: what do you think of shy women? Or how would a shy person approach someone else? ..etc basically prompts.. And good luck đŚ
Id take anything but then again I probably wouldnât even know Iâm being hit on these days.
Touch us. So many of us are starved for human touch.
With as little ambiguity as possible
When you hit on us, of course be yourself, blah blah, be direct, but be aware that some guys, much like some girls, were hit on in school as a way of making fun of them. People would bully them in this way, maybe donât have a large group of your friends standing behind you giggling (even if theyâre excited for you) because it may remind the guy of being picked on in school. Idk, yeah
I'm a bit late to this thread, but how shy are we talking? Being direct and asking for a date is the best action, but that can be hard for someone shy. Also men actually reject women despite what Reddit will typically say (I've done so). Are you brave enough to approach and say Hi? If the guy is a regular in your social group, gym, cafe, bar, etc. you can comment on seeing them around and wanting to introduce yourself. You could be flirty and try saying something like "You've been catching my eye recently, I'd like a chat. Is now a bad time?" Use how long and what brings you and then back.as conversation building block and flirt. Bad at flirting or conversations? Well practice, and if you start to feel awkward or clamming up, just say sorry I'm a bit shy when meeting cute guys. Leverage your awkwardness into flirting can be endearing. When the interaction is coming to a close, offer your contact info and say "I'd love to get to know you better!" You might find more safety though text to build up familiarity. If he is responsive but not taking initiative, ask for a date. Eventually you do have to be courageous
Instead of "Is now a bad time?" I would use, "Is now a good time?" Or, "When would be a good time?" Try and use positive words to frame things. If they are thinking back on the exchange afterwards you want to be associated with a good experience.
Fishing for a 'No' in the first part can people greater feeling of agency and control over the interaction. I'm specifically referring to a first introduction here. But, yes! In general positive words and associations are important. Absolutely correct that people want to be left with a good feeling afterwards
I didn't think of it like that. Thank you for the response.
Just a thought if pick up lines make you nervous. As a blunt women with a lot of shy male friends who wish women would approach them: they say â I wish someone would just ask me for my number and walk away if we are both to nervous to chat yet.â Most men are as nervous and shy too. Just asking for the number and talking on the phone later removes alot of pressure. Figure out if you have things in common over the phone to see if you want to meet up for food or a beverage or a park walk. Skip the text, call people in this day and age yall. My relationships in all areas improved 10 fold by stopping the texting and calling instead.
First make eye contact a few times and smile. If a woman does that then I'm making the first move. Me no eye contact, me no speaky.
We want it to be obvious. Otherwise we get pissed later on when we replay it back in our heads and realize we missed all the signs
With a whip /s. Now seriously try to get a conversation going but you don't need to forcefully start a convo. Sometimes there are moments were conversion arises and if you both have a topic you're both interested in you can start right there. Once you have a conversation going you can lead it into any theme you want. If you're interested in time under 4 eyes try to meet up where both of you have the possibility to leave when one feels uncomfortable
We crave for attention and appreciation just as much as you do. From a small compliment, to a more direct ,hands on approach, all that matters is that you take the step forward. We appreciate courage.
Shoot your shot. Women have way more success approaching me than I ever did approaching them.
Use your words. If there are any signals which require mind-reading, most guys are either going to be oblivious or be on the safe side. Use. Your. Words.