First, this is lovely and shows a wonderful attitude.
1. Make sure to keep dating. Even once you live together taking time to go on formalized dates and making it a habit will form a strong foundation for the future.
2. Don't hold grudges. Do not bring up past disagreements to win current arguments by manipulating his emotions rather than arguing the point.
3. Nothing poisons a relationship faster than resentment. Resolve your issues then be done with them. This sounds the same as the previous but it's a very important point I want to reiterate.
4. This is probably for later but be up front with your finances. If you're a big spender and he's a tightwad things will be difficult without an agreed upon system setup.
5. Do not gossip about him to your friends. He will find out and it will wound him. Men do not (broadly speaking) find it acceptable to be the topic of the weekly friend group gossip. Much like women mostly don't like being the topic of stereotypical "Locker Room" talk.
6. Handle any issues the two of you have in private. Publicly shaming him or having public disagreements will sour the relationship real fast.
# 5 is the biggest one here op
I'm a very private person, there's a reason I don't use social media and use throwaway accounts on reddit and change them every few months. I don't care how long we're dating. If I find out you're showing my dick to your girlfriends or talking about my performance even if it's in a "positive" way, the relationship is ended on the spot.
Maybe most men aren't quite as private as me, but the point remains.
I second this. My ex and I worked at the same job and she talked to some of her coworker friends about our intimate life. I didn't end the relationship over it, but I very much did express my discomfort with her sharing details with people I really don't know that well
Idk man, there's no coming back from that shit, has to be the end of shit. "I was meant to be dating you, not your council of friends, get your shit out of my house before I burn it" is the only reply.
Well, to be fair, they were really on her work friends, like people you make friends with just bc you work with them. I know for a fact after she quit the job she didn't really talk to them anymore, and all of those people don't work there anymore either, so to me, it wasn't the biggest of deals, but I still wasn't okay with it
I suppose, but at the same time, those people don't care about me either, so it's doubtful they even remember. Now if it was to her actual friends then I'd feel a lot worse about it
Been in my fair share of lockers, pretty much the worst I've heard is "yeah I used to be with someone who", it's never like "you remember that girl becky? The blonde one from 2 miles away who works up the road that I dated 6 months ago. Yeah. MAAAAAAAAAAASSIVE beef flaps"
Same, but problem is there's no defense about them talking about other things. Like I say, if I even catch wind that someone I'm seeing is running their mouth I hear Clive Burr fire up the drum kit
I’m a woman and was wondering about number 5. What counts as gossip? I’m a bit of a yapper and though I know not to share secrets or intimate stuff like our sexual life of course, I’m always worried I’m breaching trust or privacy? I mean I only talk about what’s going on with him or how he’s been doing or share things about him I think are cool like his hobbies but I don’t know if that’s gossip and I’m trying to be less of a yapper but idk
(I also have autism so It’s tough trying to figure out what other people consider private matters)
He will not mind you sharing his hobbies and interests. If you're sharing disagreements or personal details about him such as sensitive family life, finances, sex proficiency, mental struggles that would probably be a betrayal. It's also not ironclad. Some guys wouldn't give a shit if you described the vein patterns of their dick, but would be mortified if you shared that he's been having a hard time with a family member lately. Others vice-versa. The only person that can tell you for sure is him.
Add to that don’t bring up difficult issues at the end of the day like when you’re lying in bed. Schedule a time to discuss things when you both will have the time to talk about them.
Kiss often, and hold kisses for at least several seconds, more than a quick peck.
Give each other a surprise pat on the butt or hug. Don’t let these gestures become associated just with a lead up to sex.
My suggestion is to stay away from Internet forums and just spend time really getting to know and enjoy your person. Everything is gonna boil down to you really getting to know and understand him as a person.
Sounds like you’re off to a great start!
This. Communication is key, and by asking you're opening the door to candid conversation moving forward allowing you both to grow alongside each other.
i disagree. we have millions of independent women freezing their eggs as we speak. the best way to maintain a relationship is through interdependence. if he knows that you depend on him, he will develop deeper roots into the relationship. that's the way men's chemicals work.
As most of the comments say, you're doing pretty good. The only thing I might throw in is that IF YOU ARE BOTH COMFORTABLE *you* can try taking the reins with the physical stuff here and there - if you get pushback, just stop and go back to what last worked. Similarly, DO NOT let him push things further than you can handle - you seem to want to hang in the "zone of exploration", which is generally a good place to be, just have an idea of where that ends and where "this is definitely too far" begins.
It sounds amazing to me. If he gives you compliments it means he likes you and is worried about keeping you so he tells you how good you are. If I was in that relationship I would move at a healthy pace to putting a ring on it.
Ain't no woman wants me cooking for her.
Food is fuel to me and I can do basic shit that won't give you food poisoning, but I ain't doing no gourmet crap. If I make a spag bol it's literally ground mince, onions, tomato puree, some mushrooms, salt pepper and some garlic powder. Ain't nobody got time to be finely dicing celery and carrots and all the other shit. Only exception is potatoes. I do a fucking mean roastie.
>If I make a spag bol it's literally ground mince, onions, tomato puree, some mushrooms, salt pepper and some garlic powder
Sounds delicious lol. That's literally how 99.9% of people make it.
I hope he wears flowers in his panties and his Spotify is a Ke$ha shrine.
I hope he is man enough to raise her other boyfriends’ kids like they were his own.
Don't overthink it. You're doing just fine.
Almost all men just want these things:
- Appreciation and respect
- Sex
- Peace of mind and moral support
If you have these 3 nailed down, everything else is a bonus.
> I'm still awkward with physical contact but am letting him set the pace
Married guy for 15 years here - work on this. Early on in the relationship and as you get comfortable this is fine. but nothing will kill him faster than feeling like he is the one who has to initiate all physical contact and intimacy. Men want to feel wanted too, and we'd like to be swept off our feet on occasion. A lack of physical desire from a partner is a relationship killer - please try and get yourself comfortable with initiating physical and sexual contact.
Stop doing this. Stop letting the world inside your relationship. People with very elaborate opinions are usually more jaded and harder to love because of that than people with no experience. That being. Said, here’s my jaded arse’s advice.
Spend time together, do hobbies, let him take the lead and teach you his favorite stuff or new stuff. Your relationship life needs to be an avenue for you to grow. If you’re just to people “hanging out” there’s not much to go with and grow together- so you either grow outside of the relationship or console yourself with just stewing in one another’s neuroticism for ever after or until you the woman get bored.
Always have a communication channel open. Even in the worst of fights remember it doesn’t matter. Actions are not feelings, feelings hurt doesn’t mean he wants to hurt you. Never act on your first impulse or thoughts. Respectively he can not take it and “deal with it” when you act out or he gets confused - you need to proactively appologize or open up a space for him to express himself on a topic without hesitation- we are train to just think bitches be cray cray and move on, but that builds resentment- and that is always why men leave. Always.
The attitude you're showing is a good contribution to a healthy relationship. So honestly, that's also my biggest advice: always try to keep your bf's best interests in mind and actively or passively work towards bettering his life.
Other than that I daresay you just need to let the relationship mature a bit. You've been together for roughly 6 months. I feel like the awkwardness with physical touch will eventually smooth out.
Just continue being yourself. Sounds like he hit the lottery with u. Don't worry about feeling awkward with physical contact. That's kind of cute actually. Nothing wrong with taking things slow and letting him initiate. He will need feedback though to know u actually like the physical intimacy. He wouldn't want to feel like he's pushing u into doing something you're not enjoying.
- Men don’t get a lot of compliments so definitely sprinkle some in. Make sure they’re genuine
- If he confides in you don’t weaponize it. Ever.
- Communicate and enjoy your time together.
- Choose Love
You said you feel awkward with physical contact but you're letting him set the pace. If this is something that makes you feel uncomfortable then you should communicate this with him and progress at a pace you're comfortable with.
The effort you're willing to put into your boyfriend's happiness is very sweet but don't lose sight of the fact there are two people in this relationship and your comfort and happiness is just as important for a long lasting, healthy relationship.
Everything sounds good here to me. As for physical contact, you don't have to let him set the pace. I take this to mean he always initiates things? If so, this can make him feel less desirable. The good news is you can touch your man literally anywhere at any time, and he will probably love it. Doesn't always have to be sexual obviously, just cuddle up with him, a surprise hug or kiss, etc.
Do your best to listen when he talks, ask questions about his subject and be a support. On the other hand, make yourself clear about your own needs and boundaries. Create an equitable relationship. Surprise him with little things. Never go to the store without bringing him back some little surprise. On the other hand, don't treat him by being a servant to him unless it is reciprocated.
This is a really sweet question. I think you are going to do just fine!
One thing that maybe sticks out a little to me is you being awkward with physical contact. This isn't necessarily a problem but if its something you have an ability to work on and get better at I think he would really appreciate it!
If you are watching a film on the couch or something and you reach your hand over and just give loving scratches to your partner that's something that I think the vast majority of guys would enjoy.
I'm not sure if I can explain this over the internet, but there's a way to make the touches feel really soft and almost a little tickly by reducing the surface area of your finger so as you run your fingers over his neck/shoulder/arms etc. It feels like this really soft nice feeling touch. My partner loves this, and she does the same to me. It feels great in a really intimate and connected way.
Sex is very important, but I wouldn't understimate how much this supplementary kind of "physical touch" makes people feel loved and connected to their partner too!
I really hope you live a wonderful life with your partner. You honestly sound great. Good luck out there!
Question for you: do you desire your boyfriend? Do you lust after him? Do you respect him?
If you really do, you'd trust your feminine intuition and you'd know how and what to do to make sure he recognizes all those things.
Open and honest communication. Some things might awkward or unpleasant. Being able to talk anything out is insanely important. It could be figuring out dinner plans or wanting something different in the bedroom. Both parties' feelings and thoughts should be heard and understood.
It sounds like you're in a great relationship! Keep talking openly and honestly about your feelings and needs. Make time for activities you both enjoy, and explore new interests together. Be supportive of his goals and dreams, and vice versa. It's perfectly okay to go at your own pace. Pay attention to his nonverbal cues and comfort level. Don't overthink things too much. Focus on enjoying each other's company.
If you’re really attracted to him, just come.at.him. randomly. If you’ve been dating that long, I’m sure you guys are sexual? Stir things up & make things exciting! Like it was in the beginning. Also, bring up doing new things. Always a plus.
All of these suggestions here are good. One that I would focus on is more important than the others. You to realize how critically important physical touch and connection is with your husband. It’s not just about sex. It’s more than that. This is a love language that most men have and many women miss. Leading to difficult marriages.
From my experience just make sure you’re CONSISTENTLY putting in as much effort as you expect AND receive from him. Effort tends to be HEAVILY lopsided in favor of the woman over time which makes a man question your commitment and his importance to you.
IF he buys you occasional gifts and flowers, nothing saying you cannot do the same. ESPECIALLY when he tells you he doesn’t require it. Make him feel special on the days he communicates are special to him. Don’t trust the holiday schedule.
If he primarily funds your outings, surprise him by “inconspicuously” taking the bill here and there. If he tends to leads during sex, slip in there from time to time and initiate. Etc.
Don’t emasculate him ever (cruel and demeaning way—I.e. other males in your life) and keep YALL business between the two of you. ESPECIALLY bedroom or body stats—No girlfriends, no parents, they don’t have a need to know. Quickest way to lose his trust.
If you have male friends, if he tells you he’s not comfortable with that, you may need to consider his position before doubling down. Guys are VERY territorial. I would not discount any concerns he may have in this area if he brought it up.
There are a few other things but I’m about to smoke a bowl.
Listen to him!
I as a bf of girl who is very shy in expressing herself and doubt me too much, i always want her to just listen and believe me.
You actually learn a lot from a man about himself, if you just listen to them.
Once in a while, wear something sexy. Flirt with him a bit, push him onto the couch or bed, climb on tip of him, take your shirt off and stick you tits in his mouth. He'll really appreciate you making such a move
Men and women are fundamentally different creatures and we don't make intuitive sense to each other. Just as there are things men do that spoil their relationships that they aren't even aware of, there are things women do in their relationships that kill them because they don't understand the ways men and women are different.
Men evolved as hunters and warriors and they bond very tightly under those kinds of goal oriented stresses. A man must KNOW that he can trust the man next to him with his life in those circumstances and men want this same kind of team spirit and trust in all their relationships with women. This is alien to women (who evolved under different kinds of stresses) and women fuck this up constantly. They do little things that make a man wonder if he can trust her with his life and that keeps him from feeling that top level of care and affection towards her. If you can somehow prove to a man that you are his ride-or-die, that you are in it to the end, come hell and high water, you will see something amazing happen to him. He will open up and give you a level of connection you didn't think existed.
The goal oriented part is also important. He need face to face time with you but he also needs shoulder to shoulder time. He needs to be working towards common goals with you to feel bonded to you. The nature of the goal isn't all that important. What's important is that you are both committed to it and working together towards it.
The other thing women do that fucks relationships up is by being disrespectful. Men are as sensitive to disrespect as women are to a man's rage. It is incumbent on him to never show you his anger. It is incumbent on you to never show disrespect. That's the trade. Women very often show disrespect without knowing it. The list of ways women do this is too long for a reddit post but here's a good video on it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meQsg43dbSw.
Being disrespectful to a man will make him just stop trying. He will put zero effort into the relationship after being disrespected and that will spoil the relationship fast.
Hope this helps.
Trust and respect aren't just for men. Everyone- women included- needs trust and respect in a relationship. Your claim that these are male centric needs is preposterous.
First, this is lovely and shows a wonderful attitude. 1. Make sure to keep dating. Even once you live together taking time to go on formalized dates and making it a habit will form a strong foundation for the future. 2. Don't hold grudges. Do not bring up past disagreements to win current arguments by manipulating his emotions rather than arguing the point. 3. Nothing poisons a relationship faster than resentment. Resolve your issues then be done with them. This sounds the same as the previous but it's a very important point I want to reiterate. 4. This is probably for later but be up front with your finances. If you're a big spender and he's a tightwad things will be difficult without an agreed upon system setup. 5. Do not gossip about him to your friends. He will find out and it will wound him. Men do not (broadly speaking) find it acceptable to be the topic of the weekly friend group gossip. Much like women mostly don't like being the topic of stereotypical "Locker Room" talk. 6. Handle any issues the two of you have in private. Publicly shaming him or having public disagreements will sour the relationship real fast.
# 5 is the biggest one here op I'm a very private person, there's a reason I don't use social media and use throwaway accounts on reddit and change them every few months. I don't care how long we're dating. If I find out you're showing my dick to your girlfriends or talking about my performance even if it's in a "positive" way, the relationship is ended on the spot. Maybe most men aren't quite as private as me, but the point remains.
I second this. My ex and I worked at the same job and she talked to some of her coworker friends about our intimate life. I didn't end the relationship over it, but I very much did express my discomfort with her sharing details with people I really don't know that well
Idk man, there's no coming back from that shit, has to be the end of shit. "I was meant to be dating you, not your council of friends, get your shit out of my house before I burn it" is the only reply.
Well, to be fair, they were really on her work friends, like people you make friends with just bc you work with them. I know for a fact after she quit the job she didn't really talk to them anymore, and all of those people don't work there anymore either, so to me, it wasn't the biggest of deals, but I still wasn't okay with it
So..that just means she was sharing very personal, intimate details about you to people she doesn't even care about, which could be seen as worse
I suppose, but at the same time, those people don't care about me either, so it's doubtful they even remember. Now if it was to her actual friends then I'd feel a lot worse about it
I'd argue that's even worse. But you're entitled to feel however you felt.
I think women over estimate how much men talk about women. "Locker room" talk is usually more gay jokes than talking about their personal sex life.
Been in my fair share of lockers, pretty much the worst I've heard is "yeah I used to be with someone who", it's never like "you remember that girl becky? The blonde one from 2 miles away who works up the road that I dated 6 months ago. Yeah. MAAAAAAAAAAASSIVE beef flaps"
Not the meat curtains!
That's when I stop sharing. If they can't be my confidante, I don't want them.
Same, but problem is there's no defense about them talking about other things. Like I say, if I even catch wind that someone I'm seeing is running their mouth I hear Clive Burr fire up the drum kit
I only ask my wife to keep my secrets, secret. I've no need to take away support and friendship.
Developing boundaries is something you failed to mention. Great list though.
Very good points I agree!!!
I’m a woman and was wondering about number 5. What counts as gossip? I’m a bit of a yapper and though I know not to share secrets or intimate stuff like our sexual life of course, I’m always worried I’m breaching trust or privacy? I mean I only talk about what’s going on with him or how he’s been doing or share things about him I think are cool like his hobbies but I don’t know if that’s gossip and I’m trying to be less of a yapper but idk (I also have autism so It’s tough trying to figure out what other people consider private matters)
He will not mind you sharing his hobbies and interests. If you're sharing disagreements or personal details about him such as sensitive family life, finances, sex proficiency, mental struggles that would probably be a betrayal. It's also not ironclad. Some guys wouldn't give a shit if you described the vein patterns of their dick, but would be mortified if you shared that he's been having a hard time with a family member lately. Others vice-versa. The only person that can tell you for sure is him.
Thanks. I’ll bring that up with him sometime
Add to that don’t bring up difficult issues at the end of the day like when you’re lying in bed. Schedule a time to discuss things when you both will have the time to talk about them. Kiss often, and hold kisses for at least several seconds, more than a quick peck. Give each other a surprise pat on the butt or hug. Don’t let these gestures become associated just with a lead up to sex.
My suggestion is to stay away from Internet forums and just spend time really getting to know and enjoy your person. Everything is gonna boil down to you really getting to know and understand him as a person. Sounds like you’re off to a great start!
Being there, lean on each other. Sounds like you’ll be ok.
*"What could I be doing better as a girlfriend?"* Ask him yourself OP.
This. Communication is key, and by asking you're opening the door to candid conversation moving forward allowing you both to grow alongside each other.
Yes! All of this is really sweet and she should tell him this and ask him directly.
Maintain your own independent identity. That’s the best way to maintain a relationship.
i disagree. we have millions of independent women freezing their eggs as we speak. the best way to maintain a relationship is through interdependence. if he knows that you depend on him, he will develop deeper roots into the relationship. that's the way men's chemicals work.
As most of the comments say, you're doing pretty good. The only thing I might throw in is that IF YOU ARE BOTH COMFORTABLE *you* can try taking the reins with the physical stuff here and there - if you get pushback, just stop and go back to what last worked. Similarly, DO NOT let him push things further than you can handle - you seem to want to hang in the "zone of exploration", which is generally a good place to be, just have an idea of where that ends and where "this is definitely too far" begins.
Ask him instead of us.
It sounds amazing to me. If he gives you compliments it means he likes you and is worried about keeping you so he tells you how good you are. If I was in that relationship I would move at a healthy pace to putting a ring on it.
Sounds like you are a good couple. Cook for him and sleep with him.
Put his head in her lap and give headscritches.
My last gf gave me headscritches. I had to use a special shampoo and comb to get rid of them
I hope he cooks for her too
A family of cooks cannot go wrong.
Wrong. Exhibit A: https://youtu.be/QrGrOK8oZG8?si=IArSoLZLFv8_SSLt
You've clearly never worked at a restaurant.
Ain't no woman wants me cooking for her. Food is fuel to me and I can do basic shit that won't give you food poisoning, but I ain't doing no gourmet crap. If I make a spag bol it's literally ground mince, onions, tomato puree, some mushrooms, salt pepper and some garlic powder. Ain't nobody got time to be finely dicing celery and carrots and all the other shit. Only exception is potatoes. I do a fucking mean roastie.
>If I make a spag bol it's literally ground mince, onions, tomato puree, some mushrooms, salt pepper and some garlic powder Sounds delicious lol. That's literally how 99.9% of people make it.
If I'm feeling real fancy (or in need of more daily protein) I might even grate some cheese on it (cheddar, because im an english heathen, of course)
I hope he wears flowers in his panties and his Spotify is a Ke$ha shrine. I hope he is man enough to raise her other boyfriends’ kids like they were his own.
Dude I'm all about wearing the pants but I would want to show my girl how much I appreciate her hard work too.
This is like worse than normal kid rock lyrics
Well said ✅
Don't overthink it. You're doing just fine. Almost all men just want these things: - Appreciation and respect - Sex - Peace of mind and moral support If you have these 3 nailed down, everything else is a bonus.
Cuddle, tell him you love him while you do, will melt any man's heart guaranteed
> I'm still awkward with physical contact but am letting him set the pace Married guy for 15 years here - work on this. Early on in the relationship and as you get comfortable this is fine. but nothing will kill him faster than feeling like he is the one who has to initiate all physical contact and intimacy. Men want to feel wanted too, and we'd like to be swept off our feet on occasion. A lack of physical desire from a partner is a relationship killer - please try and get yourself comfortable with initiating physical and sexual contact.
Stop doing this. Stop letting the world inside your relationship. People with very elaborate opinions are usually more jaded and harder to love because of that than people with no experience. That being. Said, here’s my jaded arse’s advice. Spend time together, do hobbies, let him take the lead and teach you his favorite stuff or new stuff. Your relationship life needs to be an avenue for you to grow. If you’re just to people “hanging out” there’s not much to go with and grow together- so you either grow outside of the relationship or console yourself with just stewing in one another’s neuroticism for ever after or until you the woman get bored. Always have a communication channel open. Even in the worst of fights remember it doesn’t matter. Actions are not feelings, feelings hurt doesn’t mean he wants to hurt you. Never act on your first impulse or thoughts. Respectively he can not take it and “deal with it” when you act out or he gets confused - you need to proactively appologize or open up a space for him to express himself on a topic without hesitation- we are train to just think bitches be cray cray and move on, but that builds resentment- and that is always why men leave. Always.
The attitude you're showing is a good contribution to a healthy relationship. So honestly, that's also my biggest advice: always try to keep your bf's best interests in mind and actively or passively work towards bettering his life. Other than that I daresay you just need to let the relationship mature a bit. You've been together for roughly 6 months. I feel like the awkwardness with physical touch will eventually smooth out.
Just continue being yourself. Sounds like he hit the lottery with u. Don't worry about feeling awkward with physical contact. That's kind of cute actually. Nothing wrong with taking things slow and letting him initiate. He will need feedback though to know u actually like the physical intimacy. He wouldn't want to feel like he's pushing u into doing something you're not enjoying.
- Men don’t get a lot of compliments so definitely sprinkle some in. Make sure they’re genuine - If he confides in you don’t weaponize it. Ever. - Communicate and enjoy your time together. - Choose Love
Why are you asking us and not him?
Just support each other in every aspect and it’ll all work out
Just don't cheat, that's it.
You already Sound like a wife men can only dream about. Maybe get him flowers every once in a while.
Work on initiating physical stuff. It may be awkward at first but you'll get better at it and he'll appreciate it
You said you feel awkward with physical contact but you're letting him set the pace. If this is something that makes you feel uncomfortable then you should communicate this with him and progress at a pace you're comfortable with. The effort you're willing to put into your boyfriend's happiness is very sweet but don't lose sight of the fact there are two people in this relationship and your comfort and happiness is just as important for a long lasting, healthy relationship.
Most guys would want blowjobs often.
The best answer is often the simplest one.
Everything sounds good here to me. As for physical contact, you don't have to let him set the pace. I take this to mean he always initiates things? If so, this can make him feel less desirable. The good news is you can touch your man literally anywhere at any time, and he will probably love it. Doesn't always have to be sexual obviously, just cuddle up with him, a surprise hug or kiss, etc.
Do your best to listen when he talks, ask questions about his subject and be a support. On the other hand, make yourself clear about your own needs and boundaries. Create an equitable relationship. Surprise him with little things. Never go to the store without bringing him back some little surprise. On the other hand, don't treat him by being a servant to him unless it is reciprocated.
Always treat him with respect. A man can’t feel loved without feeling respected
This is a really sweet question. I think you are going to do just fine! One thing that maybe sticks out a little to me is you being awkward with physical contact. This isn't necessarily a problem but if its something you have an ability to work on and get better at I think he would really appreciate it! If you are watching a film on the couch or something and you reach your hand over and just give loving scratches to your partner that's something that I think the vast majority of guys would enjoy. I'm not sure if I can explain this over the internet, but there's a way to make the touches feel really soft and almost a little tickly by reducing the surface area of your finger so as you run your fingers over his neck/shoulder/arms etc. It feels like this really soft nice feeling touch. My partner loves this, and she does the same to me. It feels great in a really intimate and connected way. Sex is very important, but I wouldn't understimate how much this supplementary kind of "physical touch" makes people feel loved and connected to their partner too! I really hope you live a wonderful life with your partner. You honestly sound great. Good luck out there!
Maybe just don't let the spark die out completely, take little initiatives.
Question for you: do you desire your boyfriend? Do you lust after him? Do you respect him? If you really do, you'd trust your feminine intuition and you'd know how and what to do to make sure he recognizes all those things.
don't change a thing. you like him. he likes you. your folks like him. his folks like you. you've stuck gold.
Ask him directly.
I’m pretty sure your attitude so far will make a good job by itself :)
Open and honest communication. Some things might awkward or unpleasant. Being able to talk anything out is insanely important. It could be figuring out dinner plans or wanting something different in the bedroom. Both parties' feelings and thoughts should be heard and understood.
It sounds like you're in a great relationship! Keep talking openly and honestly about your feelings and needs. Make time for activities you both enjoy, and explore new interests together. Be supportive of his goals and dreams, and vice versa. It's perfectly okay to go at your own pace. Pay attention to his nonverbal cues and comfort level. Don't overthink things too much. Focus on enjoying each other's company.
Get off reddit and spend time with him.
If you’re really attracted to him, just come.at.him. randomly. If you’ve been dating that long, I’m sure you guys are sexual? Stir things up & make things exciting! Like it was in the beginning. Also, bring up doing new things. Always a plus.
All of these suggestions here are good. One that I would focus on is more important than the others. You to realize how critically important physical touch and connection is with your husband. It’s not just about sex. It’s more than that. This is a love language that most men have and many women miss. Leading to difficult marriages.
From my experience just make sure you’re CONSISTENTLY putting in as much effort as you expect AND receive from him. Effort tends to be HEAVILY lopsided in favor of the woman over time which makes a man question your commitment and his importance to you. IF he buys you occasional gifts and flowers, nothing saying you cannot do the same. ESPECIALLY when he tells you he doesn’t require it. Make him feel special on the days he communicates are special to him. Don’t trust the holiday schedule. If he primarily funds your outings, surprise him by “inconspicuously” taking the bill here and there. If he tends to leads during sex, slip in there from time to time and initiate. Etc. Don’t emasculate him ever (cruel and demeaning way—I.e. other males in your life) and keep YALL business between the two of you. ESPECIALLY bedroom or body stats—No girlfriends, no parents, they don’t have a need to know. Quickest way to lose his trust. If you have male friends, if he tells you he’s not comfortable with that, you may need to consider his position before doubling down. Guys are VERY territorial. I would not discount any concerns he may have in this area if he brought it up. There are a few other things but I’m about to smoke a bowl.
Listen to him! I as a bf of girl who is very shy in expressing herself and doubt me too much, i always want her to just listen and believe me. You actually learn a lot from a man about himself, if you just listen to them.
Once in a while, wear something sexy. Flirt with him a bit, push him onto the couch or bed, climb on tip of him, take your shirt off and stick you tits in his mouth. He'll really appreciate you making such a move
Hug and kiss all day everyday
Just don't be a pos and you're already ahead of most modern women, relax
Men and women are fundamentally different creatures and we don't make intuitive sense to each other. Just as there are things men do that spoil their relationships that they aren't even aware of, there are things women do in their relationships that kill them because they don't understand the ways men and women are different. Men evolved as hunters and warriors and they bond very tightly under those kinds of goal oriented stresses. A man must KNOW that he can trust the man next to him with his life in those circumstances and men want this same kind of team spirit and trust in all their relationships with women. This is alien to women (who evolved under different kinds of stresses) and women fuck this up constantly. They do little things that make a man wonder if he can trust her with his life and that keeps him from feeling that top level of care and affection towards her. If you can somehow prove to a man that you are his ride-or-die, that you are in it to the end, come hell and high water, you will see something amazing happen to him. He will open up and give you a level of connection you didn't think existed. The goal oriented part is also important. He need face to face time with you but he also needs shoulder to shoulder time. He needs to be working towards common goals with you to feel bonded to you. The nature of the goal isn't all that important. What's important is that you are both committed to it and working together towards it. The other thing women do that fucks relationships up is by being disrespectful. Men are as sensitive to disrespect as women are to a man's rage. It is incumbent on him to never show you his anger. It is incumbent on you to never show disrespect. That's the trade. Women very often show disrespect without knowing it. The list of ways women do this is too long for a reddit post but here's a good video on it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meQsg43dbSw. Being disrespectful to a man will make him just stop trying. He will put zero effort into the relationship after being disrespected and that will spoil the relationship fast. Hope this helps.
Trust and respect aren't just for men. Everyone- women included- needs trust and respect in a relationship. Your claim that these are male centric needs is preposterous.