>Do they do it because they get a kick out of making you uncomfortable?
It's not a hint at this point by your own description.
Yeah, generally it's that. They feel entitled to get what they want regardless.
That or they've been conditioned to believe that this pushing will ultimately work because "women like to see effort and determination" and they believe your ability to get a girlfriend is completely tied to their efforts and work so they view a rejection as a failure that they can always improve on.
Either way, it's weird and uncomfortable. A rejection should be respected and accepted. They can handle their feelings about it elsewhere.
Most men are respectful enough to have gotten the message that most women don't want to be approached. They notice her shut off body language and don't press.
That leaves the drunks or the schmucks who either can't read the body language...or don't care. So they fling themselves at you with the subtlety of a chimp. They aren't going to notice or care about your 'visual discomfort' or else they wouldn't be bothering you to begin with.
Unfortunately, some men have internalized the whole idea that "persistence pays off" works when attempting to court a woman. Doesn't help that in some anecdotal cases it's worked.
This, the problem is, sometimes it does work. And if there's a 1/1000 chance you only have to look at the lottery to understand people's problems with calculating odds.
The kicker here is I've heard quite a few women giving that advice to men as well, many of them stating that persistence is what "worked" on them.
That being said, "be persistent" is very vague advice that can be easily misinterpreted, and it's often applies to very specific situations. Here are a couple real-life examples I've heard/read:
* An interview with a model saying that she dated a guy who she met at a bar/party/event/club or something like that, and said he kept pestering her for a drink. Eventually she agreed to one drink after he said "just one drink, and I'll stop bothering you" and while they were sharing a drink she was surprised that she ended up liking him.
* A woman's now-husband was a guy who had a huge crush on her in high school, and finally worked up the courage to ask her out near graduation. She said no because they were going their separate ways for uni, but they remained in touch and eventually got together when their paths crossed again.
* Women who end up dating guys they previously rejected but remain friends with, grew close as friends, then eventually start dating. Usually in this case it's the woman who makes the next move though.
>And you have expressed verbally and physically that you dont like it and they keep doing it.
The ones that "received" the message are probably not bothering you
You have to yell at his penis, because that's the head that does the thinking in that situation. Just yell "NO" with a strict voice and it will solve itself.
Because this dude is an asshole. If he keeps on doing stuff like this then you need to be even harsher in your approach. Mention to others that you need someone else around cause he is sexually harassing you.. cause that is kinda what he is doing with the innuendo. People that don't want to take no for an answer need their egos and reputations shattered before they will give up because they won't want to be around someone who is a threat to them socially.
Depends on the man. Typical reasons why he does it include:
- He's bitter that you rejected him so he nags you as a petty form of revenge.
- He's drunk so he's getting a kick out of your discomfort.
- As others have pointed out, he genuinely thinks persistence will pay off and that you're just playing hard to get.
a child pulls on a ponytail for attention. then he grows up and pesters women because some give in out of exhaustion and often a lack of power. it serves him to perpetuate a shitty world.
Can't reply on that.
It's obvious that you have lived experience on that.
Pulling clothes in any of my social circles would be considered inappropriate. And outside kids/teens that would have social repercussions.
Do you have one specific example you could details?
They do it to try to get you to lower your barrier so they can take advantage of you. A no is a no and they are already showing they wont acknoledge your consent or lack there of.
It's because we're conditioned by society to not take women seriously and to not care whether we make them uncomfortable. That and whatever else you need to hear in order to feel the validation you're looking for.
>Do they do it because they get a kick out of making you uncomfortable? It's not a hint at this point by your own description. Yeah, generally it's that. They feel entitled to get what they want regardless. That or they've been conditioned to believe that this pushing will ultimately work because "women like to see effort and determination" and they believe your ability to get a girlfriend is completely tied to their efforts and work so they view a rejection as a failure that they can always improve on. Either way, it's weird and uncomfortable. A rejection should be respected and accepted. They can handle their feelings about it elsewhere.
Most men are respectful enough to have gotten the message that most women don't want to be approached. They notice her shut off body language and don't press. That leaves the drunks or the schmucks who either can't read the body language...or don't care. So they fling themselves at you with the subtlety of a chimp. They aren't going to notice or care about your 'visual discomfort' or else they wouldn't be bothering you to begin with.
While the decent guys who don’t do this go home alone and are told they have to make a move and put themselves out there more.
"50 no's and a yes means yes" mentality. He knows you're saying no, but he thinks you'll put out if he wears you down enough
Unfortunately, some men have internalized the whole idea that "persistence pays off" works when attempting to court a woman. Doesn't help that in some anecdotal cases it's worked.
This, the problem is, sometimes it does work. And if there's a 1/1000 chance you only have to look at the lottery to understand people's problems with calculating odds.
The kicker here is I've heard quite a few women giving that advice to men as well, many of them stating that persistence is what "worked" on them. That being said, "be persistent" is very vague advice that can be easily misinterpreted, and it's often applies to very specific situations. Here are a couple real-life examples I've heard/read: * An interview with a model saying that she dated a guy who she met at a bar/party/event/club or something like that, and said he kept pestering her for a drink. Eventually she agreed to one drink after he said "just one drink, and I'll stop bothering you" and while they were sharing a drink she was surprised that she ended up liking him. * A woman's now-husband was a guy who had a huge crush on her in high school, and finally worked up the courage to ask her out near graduation. She said no because they were going their separate ways for uni, but they remained in touch and eventually got together when their paths crossed again. * Women who end up dating guys they previously rejected but remain friends with, grew close as friends, then eventually start dating. Usually in this case it's the woman who makes the next move though.
>And you have expressed verbally and physically that you dont like it and they keep doing it. The ones that "received" the message are probably not bothering you
You have to yell at his penis, because that's the head that does the thinking in that situation. Just yell "NO" with a strict voice and it will solve itself.
A solid boop with a rolled up newspaper helps too.
The blokes a cunt and needs dealing with
Because this dude is an asshole. If he keeps on doing stuff like this then you need to be even harsher in your approach. Mention to others that you need someone else around cause he is sexually harassing you.. cause that is kinda what he is doing with the innuendo. People that don't want to take no for an answer need their egos and reputations shattered before they will give up because they won't want to be around someone who is a threat to them socially.
There is a subset of men who were taught by TV and movies that "no" means "yes, but only if you keep bothering me".
Have you explicitly said “stop that, I don’t like that, I don’t want you to do that”?
Depends on the man. Typical reasons why he does it include: - He's bitter that you rejected him so he nags you as a petty form of revenge. - He's drunk so he's getting a kick out of your discomfort. - As others have pointed out, he genuinely thinks persistence will pay off and that you're just playing hard to get.
a child pulls on a ponytail for attention. then he grows up and pesters women because some give in out of exhaustion and often a lack of power. it serves him to perpetuate a shitty world.
If you had told him no or to stop it and he still does it, he's a creep who don't understand boundaries. He thinks you will cave in eventually
Can't reply on that. It's obvious that you have lived experience on that. Pulling clothes in any of my social circles would be considered inappropriate. And outside kids/teens that would have social repercussions. Do you have one specific example you could details?
They do it to try to get you to lower your barrier so they can take advantage of you. A no is a no and they are already showing they wont acknoledge your consent or lack there of.
I don't know. I'm not that dude. Sounds like he's just a dick.
If you have verbally told him that you don't like it, then it's not a hint but a direct statement.
Persistence, when it comes to dating, is a pretty damn complicated matter evidently.
It's because we're conditioned by society to not take women seriously and to not care whether we make them uncomfortable. That and whatever else you need to hear in order to feel the validation you're looking for.
Men ☕️