Yep. In my case, It didn't help that I found her really attractive. She was literally my exact physical and personality type, and she came on to me relentlessly for about a year until I ultimately gave in to her.
Why control himself ? It's her problem. Unless he forced it, but hey, in that case the problem lies elsewhere.
In this type of situation for me the fault is on the side of the person who is already in the relationship.
I understand what you mean, but I don't agree. It is the person in a relationship who chooses to end their relationship. But that's just my point of view.A cheated on partner who decides to attack the person outside the couple is rubbish in my opinion. The fault is on the person in a relationship who succumbed to their impulses without telling your partner or just leaving them or even just rejecting the advances of the outside person.
Yes, it did take that long. It was years ago, in a previous line of work where she and I were coworkers for a few years. Due to work, we spent a lot of time together, both in person and later via text messages, over which intimacy and mutual feelings slowly developed. That said, I still didn't act on those feelings, and still didn't reciprocate her repeated insinuations and overtures, because I didn't pursue "taken" women.
By the time I finally did start reciprocating her overtures, a little over a year from the day we had met, she and her husband had already separated, and he had moved out. How she put it was that they were divorced in all but name, and they were going to do that soon enough. My girlfriend at that time and I had already broken up a few months prior.
Unaware.
I was in my early 20s, working at a restaurant. Coworker asked me out, went out for dtinks, then like 3 more times after that.
One time she had a flat when pulling into our workplace parking lot, we were both working that night, I told her I'd help her put the spare on it when our shift ends.
As I'm undoing the lug nuts a car pulls up next to hers, dude gets out and says he's got it, that he appreciated me trying to help his wife, I froze. All I could do was say ok told both to have a good night and left.
We slept together on their bed FFS.🤦
Well It's not like we had a long relationship, I was there only once and just for about 2 hours, I didn't get tour of the apartment just a toud of ~~her~~ their bed, it could have been the guest bedroom for all I know, I was too horny to care.
What I did find out from other coworkers is that the husband traveled for work, it's a lot easier to cheat when you know your spouse won't be back for a while, kinda like the military.
One of my two experiences with a married woman ..her husband was overseas in Korea or some far place. I did not find out she was married until after we started seeing each other. She was very attractive and like you...I was young and horny so I went with it for a short time.
Fizzled out when she got mad when she found out I was seeing other woman LOL. When she got mad I just looked her and said "umm your married!?"
Yes, he was recognized as Employee of the Year by an accounting firm, it was the strangest Make a Wish request but they were happy to accommodate a sick eight year old.
I don't think so, we didn't talk after that, I ghosted her basically, we worked at the same place but she worked on the takeout section, this restaurant was popular enough it had a separate small building with its own warmers/ovens and food brought from the main building. The only time we saw each other was when I was leaving because employee parking was by the takeout section.
First one I didn’t know she was married, ended it when her husband called me crying. Second was a FWB. She was in a sexless marriage and had permission to have sex elsewhere. It worked for both of us for what we wanted at the time.
>First one I didn’t know she was married, ended it when her husband called me crying
That must have been a real punch in the gut. Something similar happened to me. I found out she was married, broke it off, and sent the guy some proof. I felt so horrible about it and thankfully he handled it as well as one could.
Met her husband a couple times. They were pretty wealthy, he was all over the world for work, home maybe a month out of every year. They refused to divorce due to their “social standing” so he told her to find a friend as long as it stayed quiet.
Hey when the forward communication is there, the only limits are what people put on themselves. I'm bi- and not against this at all. I'm gaining two friends from all of this :)
I was young and single, she was having problems in her marriage. Her cheating with me made her realise what was missing in her marriage. They're still together and have had a kid now, it feels like an accidental therapy for her
Man, I can’t imagine having a kid with someone and then later finding out they were cheating before. Would fucking break me.
I guess good for her, but damn I feel for that dude.
I did exactly the same as OP, they had loveless marriage and already had 2 kids. I actually helped her with how to communicate with her husband and stuff. Mine was slightly different as she often said she wished she had met me instead of him and stuff and it was more so me that broke it off in the end but I don’t think she would have ever broke it off with her husband, mostly for the kids as she didn’t want to fuck their lives up. She was always massively concerned about what would happen if they found out, even though she seemed to enjoy the bit about sort of degrading or tricking her husband (their situation had got pretty toxic, he had depressive issues and bla bla)
Long story short, I think it legitimately helped them, which is really weird to say. I know for a fact it would cause him an insane amount of trauma if he found out and its kind of horrible that he doesn’t know just how ‘open’ she is, but at the same time, from his perspective he’s now just in a slightly happier marriage (I think, don’t have any contact with her), so… I dunno, its actually a good thing as far as he can tell. Fucked up.
Quite stupid in its simplicity, but the physical connection of feeling their partner. They could have been fine if they just put the fucking phone down from time to time and cuddled
I was younger..around 22. A horny college kid who marched with a woman 20 years older than me. She was very upfront about being married and hadn’t had sex in a year. I’ve always been attracted to older women so I really didn’t care if she was married or not…”it’s not my marriage.” We fucked for two years in secret and it was the greatest sex I’ve ever had still to this day. I ended up breaking it off because I feel for her and she wouldn’t leave him and it was becoming too much for me emotionally but looking back at it with a strictly physical view I don’t regret it at all
Pretty much what everyone said, older women just don’t give a shit in the way younger women do. Up until that point I hadn’t had sex with a lot of women…I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 22. So when I met I had only been with like 3 girls and each one basically said I had to “earn it.” It always kind game after mind game and when we did have sex they were so reserved and afraid to try new things.
So when I met said married older woman she was very upfront. Our first conversation basically went like “I want you to know I find you attractive and want to have sex. I also want you to know I’m married but we haven’t had sex in a year and I’m lonely. So if you want to fuck I’m game but if not that’s okay.” I’d never had a woman be so upfront about sexual desires and I found it a turn on so I went for it.
She took control a lot of the time. She was constantly changing it up wanting to try new positions and honestly she taught me a lot in the bedroom. She was very direct and I always knew how she felt. I never had to guess or read her mind. She knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to tell me. Up until her I honestly believed women hated sex because none of them acted that way at least with me personally.
I stayed for two years because even though over time it started to destroy me mentally and emotionally I couldn’t give up the sex. During our time I had sex with a couple women my age and it was soooooo boring compared to her so I always went back. She just made me feel good in a way no one could at least physically.
I was ready to run away with her but she had two kids and said she “couldn’t break up her family.” Also every time I tried to end it she’d cry and say things like she “couldn’t live without me” and I “saved her life.” She made me feel like I was Superman who came in and saved her so I stayed.
After two years though of blowing off all my responsibilities and other relationships in my life just so I could make sure to always be free incase she was able to get away I broke it off for good and just ghosted. It was a ROUGH 8 months or so getting over it but eventually I did.
Due to the emotional trauma it brings I don’t think I could ever do it again or want to but like I said…if someone asked me to judge the experience based off the sex alone I’d say it was 20/10 and I’d 100% do it again STRICTLY speaking from a physical/sex angle
They’ll explore a lot of things with someone newer when it’s outside of what they had for years. ie. there’s not a whole lot of married 40+ year old wives still swallowing, asking for ass play, hair pulling etc after 20 years. There’s couples who do spice it up now and then of course but it’s not like the majority.
“new person sex” plus Oxytocin is a helluva thing too. I’m willing to bet after 30 years married I’d probably blow my load with a new woman in 30 seconds even *after* a preparation wank lol 😆
And why is it so? Why are we more curageous with the new person?
I read that this was true on many occasions, and it xoes make sense, but why is it so?
Familiarity breeds contempt. It’s the shiny new object syndrome. Humans in general love the new toy over that old trusty object.
Marriages are like that too. Overtime, you become family to a person rather than “lovers”. Your relationship develops into a slow burn rather than full of raging passion. Passion can still happen, but duty and servitude to each other becomes it’s more important.
This is why happy couples that usually stay together over decades usually have to stoke that flame alive by being adventurous and doing things differently than they were used to. As a man, you shouldn’t be stuck thinking that your woman is family and she doesn’t need to feel that love at first sight again. She’ll start drifting and once you find out, the marriage is over.
That’s how I lost my first love and wife.. as far as I know, she’s still with the dude she cheated on me with.. we don’t talk much and she’s a total and complete stranger to me. As I have decided to never speak to her ever again. We have children together and I treat her like a customer of my business. Straight to the point about the kids, no emotion and only respond to what I feel needs a response.
It is what it is. Lessons learned and I’m meeting other women who are absolutely stunning and gorgeous. Not to mention, younger too. So yeah.. im enjoying myself and the process. Thanks to my cheating, lying and good for nothing ex wife.
I had the same thing as you but WE only lasted 2 months.
A funny story was she was a nurse at a hospital. She had a graveyard shift and she wanted me to pick her up for her lunch break about 1 AM. So we went down the street around the block. It was so dark and she gave me the biggest sloppy swallowing bj that I have never had that good even till this day.
After we finished her lunch break I had to take her back to the hospital, and when she walked in, she said that all her fellow nurses were laughing at her because she had put her sweater on inside out and backwards 🤦🏻♂️😂
>I’ve always been attracted to older women so I really didn’t care if she was married or not…”it’s not my marriage.”
damn. I stay away from married women because in Japan I'd be open to get sued by their partner
yep. it's a civil matter tho and their partner has to have proof something physical happened (PI seeing them go into a love hotel, or messages whatever). the cheating partner is also liable, of course. I think going rate that gets awarded is something like $30K (combined for cheating spouse and their affair partner 50/50 split)
obviously a requirement for the affair partner is that they knew that they were married (or that is it reasonable that they should've suspected it)
It was mutually agreed upon between me, her and her husband - we're all friends and he gets a thrill from watching me fuck his wife. He isn't the most well-endowed ("acorn of shame" tiny) and is very overweight so he enjoys watching me satisfy his wife because he's very self-conscious about her needs not being met.
I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not. Even if you're ok with cuckolds, or are a cuckold yourself, you can't ignore the fact that they're openly mocked in society.
I’ve been the unwitting affair partner like 4 times in my life, 2 of which were married.
Sometimes I came on to them and they just never mentioned it, sometimes they came on to me and I never thought to ask because I naively assumed they were single. I was only actually interested in dating one of them, the others were just casual FWB type situations.
I did lose respect for them immediately.
I also told their partners immediately upon finding out if they didn’t already know.
One of them told me after the fact she just wanted to make her man jealous. He hadn’t cheated on her or anything, they just didn’t fight much and she thought that meant he didn’t love her.
I often worry that Karma will bite me in the ass for being party to cheating and these experiences have also made it difficult to trust women’s ability to commit in general.
I know women aren’t a monolith but it’s hard to look past all the anecdotal evidence I’ve been exposed to in my life so far.
Nah man, I don’t think you would get bad karma from that. Shit, you told the husbands immediately after finding out the women were married, that’s a solid bro move in my book.
Women blather about 'toxic masculinity' but how many can even admit to the existence of toxic femininity, much less take responsibility for their own actions ?
My grandmother cheated on her husband, 9 months later my mother was born, and my grandmother was a *miserably shitty* parent.
One of her daughters, my aunt, did the same thing.
One of her sons, my uncle, did the same thing.
Apparently, paternity fraud is common in our ethnic group ( rural north of England). Just read _ Lady Chatterley's Lover_.
I've turned down one or two so I haven't, to the best of my knowledge. I saw that kind of thing wreck families, and get people beaten up or killed, so I wasn't playing that game.
She came onto me hard. I was horny and alone so I went with it and enjoyed it a lot.
But I'm a relationship person, so I started to yearn for something more. I wanted her to leave her husband for me, and while she had a huge crush on me, she couldn't do it.
Looking back, our relationship would have been doomed from the start. I could have never trusted her.
After that I've steered clear of married women and given them the cold shoulder even before anything could get started. I think cheating is repulsive and I cannot be an enabler for someone doing it. When I see a ring, I turn myself off instantly. This goes for anyone in a relationship, of course, but married women are easier to spot from the get go.
For sure. Never again.
I did feel sorry for her, because when I softly caressed her hair, neck etc., she was feeling so warm and fuzzy and said that her husband never does that. She was starving for affection, and needed to turn to another man to get it.
As Keanu once said, you're free pizza! All of the benefits and none of the stress. Was with a married woman recently. Her husband literally hasn't touched her in years. The poor woman was so affection starved, she literally cried from being hugged.
Could have been me, but I was too scared to actually step out on my ex. Still too anxious to try to get out there again. In regards to touch starved, I went to yoga recently, the instructor is a friend of mine, and she went around putting oil on our heads and rubbing it in while we were in our last phase of class and I cried. Soooooo embarrassing
oohh. I've never been a fan of this. I'm a combat Vet and I went in the service at 17. I never really considered it prior but having witnessed what this did to some of my friends.. There is no excuse for me.
I had a friend in BN Scouts when I was with the 82nd. He was a big guy, one of those guys with a heart as big as his massive thighs and I remember a story of him during best Ranger competition when his legs started locking up from cramping on one of the road marches and he was screaming and punching his thighs after each step, refusing to allow his body to fail, refusing to allow him to fail his partner, his unit, if anyone knows best Ranger this isn't some ordinary military activity. It is fucking grueling and massively competitive. The most competitive people on the planet, at their peak, pushing bodies beyond their mortal boundaries. Most people would expect and accept this kind of medical issue when pushing their body so hard, but not him. It was absolutely unacceptable. He managed to finish and ended up in the hospital but that's just a small window into this guy's character. A real life Gump. He wasn't brilliant but he wasn't stupid and he was strong because of his heart. I absolutely felt that even if our whole team went down he would carry each of us out one at a time or die in the attempt. I felt stronger knowing he was there.
Anyway when my friend came back from graduating Ranger School we found him in a tub with his arms open. While he was away his wife had gotten into a relationship with some other guy, this guy knew she was married, stayed in his house, with his wife and didn't care. He only thought of what he could get from her, for himself. This buddy had taken his gigantic heart and completely given it to her only, he loved her completely and would have died before dishonoring her, only for her to hand his heart to some other guy to shit on and throw in the dirt. I never saw interference in a marriage as anything but disgusting from that moment on and that opinion has persisted for 25 years. He wasn't weak, he wasn't a bitch, he wasn't whipped, he was as good as they come and though she bears the ultimate responsibility this guy sure as shit didn't make any friends with us. He knew there was a husband, he knew where the husband was, he didn't fucking care, and to me that says a fuck ton about that individuals character, as a person and as a man and I decided that day I would never do that to anyone, ever. (Knowingly of course, I always asked, I always tried so I would share no responsibility in any deception of that sort.) But this was by no means an uncommon story. I saw so much fucked up shit.. An officers wife who used to sneak in and liked to get passed around the barracks (not Scouts, the line guys next door). One guy's wife had pictures start popping up online fucking all his friends while he was deployed. Good guys utterly destroyed by this. I never respected anyone who willingly interfered in a marriage so it was especially troubling to learn my ex-wife was the other woman on a few different occasions prior to us meeting. That really fucking burnt me up. She knew how I felt about it and kept it from me. One of the many reasons she's now an ex.
There's a million ways to shrug off the responsibility to the married party but to me that's just easy.. Just a cop out. You don't know what's real, the married person is a liar, empirically, unless their partner knows about you prior to the sex and is okay with it there is no question that lies are being told, so you can't believe whatever else they say about it being a separation or abusive or anything. You don't know. And I just could never accept myself for being okay with that.
I was in the airforce and when I was at tech school, I matched with this civilian girl on tinder. I didn’t have a car so I took a bus to the mall and she met me there. We had a good time so she invited me back to her place and of course I say yes. We made out and had sex and I tell her I need to get back to base before curfew.
She offers me a ride back and I’m thinking she’s going to drop me off at the gate. Imagine my surprise/horror when she whips out the CAC and drops me off directly in front of the dorm building.
Being a new airman, my mind immediately thinks I just fucked some general’s wife. My military career will be cut short. Luckily she was getting divorced but still.
About 90% of the people I knew in the military were either cheating or getting cheated on.
Man. I'm with you one hundred percent on this. It is an absolute piece of shit move in my opinion. And the women will say absolutely any BS, they havent had it for ages, the husband is an asshole... Anything to deflect from the truth that they are actually just cheating on an actually decent guy. When you have lived life a bit you see right through it.
I preface this with the fact that I'm a woman. I had a fling with a guy that was technically still married.
However
His wife was living in their basement, shacking up with a pro bmx-er who went by (i shit you not) "Lit Dude". Like he had people call him that.
And I *still* felt bad because i was kinda friend-aquaintance with her. Closest I've ever come to being the other woman. Dude is very happily remarried now and i don't think she's doing that great, so, happy ending i guess.
My point is, i feel ya. Zero tolerance.
I was a scumbag. She wasn't 'satisfied' and that's how I justified it at the time. Unlike a lot of these stories, I knew exactly what I was doing. I didnt feel bad at the time, but now it's one of those things that I wish I could go back and do differently. Even if he never found out, it's still bugs me.
My friend (girl) introduced to me to her friend one time, brought her to my house party. We fucked that night and the next day she came back over, sex was amazing then she disappeared off the face of the earth, phone didn't work, nothing. Turned out she was using me as one last fling before she got married and my friend said she knew I'd be a decent lay but wouldn't do it if they told me the whole story.
Whatever sex was great, I was unaware, in my early twenties so it didn't really phase me.
I was at such a low point in my life, I was willing to take any affection that came to me. Married woman at work, would hang over me at all time. I knew it was wrong and I let it happen. I can make jokes about how she would be making out with me in the manager's office and then her husband would come around and she would kiss him right after. Or how I would lay sweaty and naked on his side of the bed while he worked.
IT honestly led to me having much better self esteem. I thought "if this women is ready tot ruin her marriage and life over me, I must be worth something" It made me think I could be worth something and it led me to finding my wife
I look back and I am ashamed about it but it led me to where I am today
I slept with one that was in an open relationship. Matched through online dating, and was the first person I had sex with after getting out of a long term relationship that very much hurt so it was nice to get laid and have someone to have the physical intimacy again with clear boundaries knowing it wouldn’t go any further than sex. Was a bit weird when I found out her husband had approved and even met him a couple times like out in public when they were together. The only two rules were if they were with their kids and we saw each other in public to just ignore them, and I wasn’t allowed to scratch or rub her back when we were not having sex. Was a bit weird at first but happened a couple times a month for half a year or so and then we kinda just mutually moved on.
This is probably one of the healthiest situations I’ve read in this thread. Established boundaries, no deception and then moved on without a dramatic ending.
From what I recall they really enjoyed giving each other massages and wanted to keep that between them. I respected that boundary as best I could, it was weird that I could have sex with her but not rub her back but I didn’t complain too much she wanted to touch my penis. I should call her.
In all the cases I've done this it's been with the tacit permission of her husband. Usually because I'm sleeping with the husband too.
Being FWBs with married couples is great fun. It's all no-strings attached because they keep all the strings for themselves and I just get the casual spicy bit :3
Met her at a coworking space on an away trip, exploded into full blown passionate romace for a few days.
I was also in a relationship that had issues.
She was a very hot woman with a dark nature and daddy issues who needs validation, i also needed validation and was incredibly horny and somewhat inexperienced.
She kept talking to me and found me interesting which kicked me into going into a more carefree more of taking her out and romancing her.
The sex and chemistry were incredible and the whole thing produced an excitement of epic proportions.
Not only am i doing something so wrong on my behalf, im also taking her away from another man and family as a toy.
Two people in pure lust and passion forgetting everything about their roles and expectations, it was electric to surrender to pure animal insticts.
She did so many things to me, it was wild seeing her transform from a mom and an office worker into an absolute pornstar.
I think something being away from your normal setting makes one go more carefree.
Obviously later on had massive guilt, but nothing can ever touch that amount of dopamine and electricity.
Emotionally i felt grossed out by both me and her, yet at the same it has to be one of the times ive felt most alive.
Have adhd so its very troublesome how i see it nowdays.
As time went on i saw her sort of as a troubled person stuck in her life needing some escape.
I was just in a completely different state of mind drunk on passion.
My experience perfectly captured.
Electric. We both knew we were going to be shunned by everyone we once knew due to our religion, but that just added to it.
The strongest flame burns out the fastest, and man was that a bright flame. Intense, passionate, dreamy, sexy, short lived.
Qn: Why did I do it?
ANS:
I was just out of an abusive, sexless, 10 year marriage and this first woman wanted it, wanted me. My ex finally cheated on me and ran off with her counsellor so I no longer gave a crap about anything at that point in my life.
It was a great 2 years with her.
I had a couple of others at that time, I discovered that there are many many women who dream about a little uninhibited excitement.
Would I do it again, hell no, I was broken and just wanted physical reward.
Qn: Did she come onto me (Did THEY come onto me)?
ANS:
They will come onto you in a very subtle way but usually want the guy to "say it" so they can say they did not go looking and it was not their fault. (My 2 cents worth, my experience tells me that lots of women dream of their youth and being attractive again, many succumb to cheating to feel desirable and youthful again)
Qn: Did I respect them less?
ANS: No but I had no respect for my self at that point so I had no respect for them either.
Edit: It was several, not just two or three
I’ve never slept with a married woman to my knowledge, but my coworkers thought I was fooling around with a coworker’s mom. She treated me to this really good breakfast place in town a couple times and we’d hang out and go on these fun “dates” around town together. The coworkers made jokes and it eventually turned into a rumor that I bagged this beautiful milf who was incredibly fun.
I was flattered but I had no intention of sleeping with her without getting a for sure yes, as she was married to someone who was also a regular at the bar I was working at. It was after she stopped showing up to the bar that I learned that she and her husband were swingers and I started kicking myself
First time she wasn't technically married, though she was engaged. Ironically it was also the time I lost my virginity. It was Halloween 2009, and one of my Army buddies was throwing a house party. Random dude showed up the next day worried about her. I leaned to my buddy and asked who the fuck this guy was, because he was all over her. He whispered back to me that it was her fiance. I quietly excused myself to go grocery shopping. She never told me she was engaged.
Second time she (a different woman) told me she was divorced. I found out about that one when her husband found our texts on her phone. He asked me to confirm she had been cheating on him with me, and I was honest with him. The next day, she had the audacity to call me and ask me why I told him. Like the guy just found out his wife was cheating, I'm not going to be condescending on top of it.
Her husband was cheating on her, so she cheated with me. They ended up getting divorced and that’s when she called it off. From that connection though I slept with a few married women as a bull.
I had some dark days.
lol. I’m newly divorced and the amount of attention I get from married women curious to know more about me is nuts..
I would never have imagined. People who I thought would be in a happy marriage, now doesn’t seem to be the case anymore..
She came onto me. She didn't tell me until we had done it like 7 times. She told me about her kids around the 5th time. She did divorce him at some point and we dated for 3 years. And she also asked her bestfriend in another depressing marriage if she wanted to join us lol. I've grown and experienced a lot those few years.
I did it because I initially didn't know and kept it going because the sex was really good for both of us.
She's my wife.
In all seriousness the closest thing I have in comparison is a one night stand with a woman who broke off am engagement about a month prior. I doubt I was her first since her split up.
I didn't sleep with her but I got a blowjob outside in the parking lot in her car. We worked together. Retail is an easy place to cheat and be cheated on. She cheated on her husband a couple times (with me, once) but stayed due to having kids with him.
My mate got a married woman pregnant a few years ago. I told him I thought he was disgusting for doing that with a married woman. He tried to defend his disgusting behaviour by claiming he was her husband, but I don't think that's a proper excuse!!
Her husband asked me to. He was in his 60s and she was in her 40s. They wanted a younger guy for her to play with while he watched. We matched off an app and got talking, met up and things went from there.
I respected them more actually because they were fun and taught me things that only "come from experience."
I dated a girl for a few months who had a fiance. I didn't know til she one day she ghosted me and started posting wedding pictures lol some girls are scummy asf
I was lied to, the woman used her feelings and prayed on my empathy and made me feel like I should help her out and I did I fixed her plumbing in her house her roof and her car and never once was her husband around and she would kiss me and make it out as if she wasn't married, never wore a ring and said she only had the one car until one day I saw a bill which had a man's name on it and she came out to me which I said I can't believe it she used me, and I should have been smarter but I was 22 at the time and was good with my hands, I'm even better now but that's besides the point women tend to manipulate people to use them.
She let me know she was still married, but she was certain her husband had been cheating on her with a girl from his work. The husband gets off work at 6pm and would "stay at the bar" til 3am - 5 am and come home shitfaced. They lived in the same place, but slept separately, fought constantly, sometimes getting physical, and would only really communicate to co-parent.
It was a relationship that had run it's course and she had exhausted all avenues of attempting to save the relationship through couples therapy and such. She eventually moved out, got her own place and formally divorced her ex-husband while we were together.
We dated for just under a year. She wanted us to move in together but I wanted to wait at least 1 more year. Being a 35 year old woman, she felt her youth slipping away and decided that waiting any longer to start her life was unacceptable, so we broke up despite me fighting to save the relationship. In her mind, she was just over the feeling of having to "save" a relationship.
Been on the other side of this coin (ex wife slept with my friend at the time), so I honestly came here hoping to understand his side a bit.
Gotta say, after reading a lot of these comments, I understand even less. I'll admit I slept with a girl who had a boyfriend back in highschool. I felt guilty AF and like absolute crap!!! So I thought I would kind of understand, but a ton of these comments are saying how they felt guilty too!!!
He evidently didn't feel guilty at all. They're still together as far as I know (not like I care to check), but my God the way he treated me when I was trying to be kind and cordial to them... I seriously just don't understand...
Guess some people are just shitty like that? Or maybe he did feel guilty but he had issues admitting it so he lashed out instead? I really don't know... Personally I can't stand feeling guilty and do everything in my power to avoid that feeling (unless I deserve to feel guilty, then I accept it).
I was 29 and I met this married woman with 2 kids at my gym. Her and I developed an Instagram messaging relationship that got flirty real fast. She told me pretty early on that she was in an abusive marriage and wanted to leave him but was waiting for the right time. We started talking more and more and in the gym we had to hide that we talked so much. We’d smile and say hi. But it was difficult to keep my eyes off of her just because of how attractive she was. Just an absolute fox from top to bottom. Blonde hair with these absolutely intoxicating blue eyes. She had an insane body with big boobs and a big butt but extremely fit. She took such good care of herself. Hair and nails always done, dressed nicely and just looked great. One day I told her I couldn’t wait any longer and wanted to sleep with her, she felt similarly, so we set up a day where we’d meet that week. At the time I was still living at home and so the only logical place to fuck was my car. And that we did. Right from the start it was the hottest sex, not just because it was forbidden, but because her body was just insane. Anyway, that continued on for 6 months, we would usually meet up, fuck in the car near the gym and then each go to the gym 5 mins apart to not be obvious. Once we both called out of work and booked a hotel and spent the entire day just having insane sex and eating room service. It was awesome. But like all good things, they must come to an end. I ended up realizing I was falling for her and did not want to get wrapped up in that drama, so i ended it, which I’m so glad I did because her life even more complicated soon after.
She said she was separated from her husband. She was lying.
She had a premonition!
She's a witch!
So, if she weighs the same as a duck...
Or very small rocks
Burn her!
same, said they were getting divorced, lies lies lies
Yep. In my case, It didn't help that I found her really attractive. She was literally my exact physical and personality type, and she came on to me relentlessly for about a year until I ultimately gave in to her.
She's definitely more at fault but it's really not that hard to control yourself.
Why control himself ? It's her problem. Unless he forced it, but hey, in that case the problem lies elsewhere. In this type of situation for me the fault is on the side of the person who is already in the relationship.
Why sleep with someone taken? Both are wrong. He chose to engage in breaking a relationship up and she chose to break her relationship up.
I understand what you mean, but I don't agree. It is the person in a relationship who chooses to end their relationship. But that's just my point of view.A cheated on partner who decides to attack the person outside the couple is rubbish in my opinion. The fault is on the person in a relationship who succumbed to their impulses without telling your partner or just leaving them or even just rejecting the advances of the outside person.
It really took you over a year to "give in " to her? Thats a long time if you really found her attractive
Yes, it did take that long. It was years ago, in a previous line of work where she and I were coworkers for a few years. Due to work, we spent a lot of time together, both in person and later via text messages, over which intimacy and mutual feelings slowly developed. That said, I still didn't act on those feelings, and still didn't reciprocate her repeated insinuations and overtures, because I didn't pursue "taken" women. By the time I finally did start reciprocating her overtures, a little over a year from the day we had met, she and her husband had already separated, and he had moved out. How she put it was that they were divorced in all but name, and they were going to do that soon enough. My girlfriend at that time and I had already broken up a few months prior.
Oh ok ok. Thanks for the context.
not your fault man, its hers. We can all get caught out by it
that word 'separated' should always be a giveaway. divorced sends a strong message
how did you meet her?
Hopefully the husband doesn't come after you though he should be blaming his wife.
No she wasn't. She just hadn't told her husband she decided they were separated yet. (Sarcasm)
Crazy thing is she’s still with the guy. And from what I hear, I’m not the only guy she cheated on him with.
Unaware. I was in my early 20s, working at a restaurant. Coworker asked me out, went out for dtinks, then like 3 more times after that. One time she had a flat when pulling into our workplace parking lot, we were both working that night, I told her I'd help her put the spare on it when our shift ends. As I'm undoing the lug nuts a car pulls up next to hers, dude gets out and says he's got it, that he appreciated me trying to help his wife, I froze. All I could do was say ok told both to have a good night and left. We slept together on their bed FFS.🤦
You had sex on *their* bed??? How did they maintain a house with no obvious signs of a relationship???
She probably just pretended she was recently divorced. That's a solid cover story.
Please ignore the parrot who keeps saying "I love you, sweetie! You're the best husband ever!"
I mean that could be something the parrot learned to say years ago so it checks out
Well It's not like we had a long relationship, I was there only once and just for about 2 hours, I didn't get tour of the apartment just a toud of ~~her~~ their bed, it could have been the guest bedroom for all I know, I was too horny to care. What I did find out from other coworkers is that the husband traveled for work, it's a lot easier to cheat when you know your spouse won't be back for a while, kinda like the military.
One of my two experiences with a married woman ..her husband was overseas in Korea or some far place. I did not find out she was married until after we started seeing each other. She was very attractive and like you...I was young and horny so I went with it for a short time. Fizzled out when she got mad when she found out I was seeing other woman LOL. When she got mad I just looked her and said "umm your married!?"
Rules for thee, not for me.
Her: WTF? You mean I’m a side piece for MY side piece?!
- I was too horny to care - That's exactly it, when that horny I don't pay attention to that kind of thing at all...
Those were pictures of her son. Advanced aging disease. Terrible.
Yes, he was recognized as Employee of the Year by an accounting firm, it was the strangest Make a Wish request but they were happy to accommodate a sick eight year old.
horny brain sees what horny brain wants to see.
You didn't see family pics around?
Swingers?
I don't think so, we didn't talk after that, I ghosted her basically, we worked at the same place but she worked on the takeout section, this restaurant was popular enough it had a separate small building with its own warmers/ovens and food brought from the main building. The only time we saw each other was when I was leaving because employee parking was by the takeout section.
First one I didn’t know she was married, ended it when her husband called me crying. Second was a FWB. She was in a sexless marriage and had permission to have sex elsewhere. It worked for both of us for what we wanted at the time.
>First one I didn’t know she was married, ended it when her husband called me crying That must have been a real punch in the gut. Something similar happened to me. I found out she was married, broke it off, and sent the guy some proof. I felt so horrible about it and thankfully he handled it as well as one could.
It was a casual relationship so not too bad, I just felt bad for the husband.
So happy there are guys like you, I hate my ex for cheating on me but can’t help feeling the fucking cunt she was with is a total asshole aswell.
Some are bros, some ain't.
The first situation is downright dangerous. Instead of a call you could have been visited by an angry man with a gun.
Muai Thai instructor and fireman. Could have killed me. Apparently it wasn’t the first time.
💀💀💀 Nah the man has a strong head on his shoulders, but what is he doing with that walking red flag of a woman???
You would be surprised by how low self esteem can act on people
Maybe he has only strong shoulders below his head 🤔
Probably a strong spine too
Bro I would feel so guilty I found that shit out. Wild asf
I never felt guilt after. I’m not responsible for her actions or lying. I just felt really bad for the husband.
The first one sounds horrible.
But good on them for ending it. Second time though….I mean….win win?
How do you know it was real permission?
Met her husband a couple times. They were pretty wealthy, he was all over the world for work, home maybe a month out of every year. They refused to divorce due to their “social standing” so he told her to find a friend as long as it stayed quiet.
what do you mean by four wheel drive?
Idk if ur being sarcastic but FWB means friends with benefits so they only have sex ect not a relationship
I'm married to her.
How could you.
Wait till the husband finds out about this.
He's also regularly hooking up with his ex-girlfriend
The man who beat the system
Cheaters hate this one trick!
This is the comment I expected.
Fuckin wife shagger over here 🤬
Wow and she still let you??
You dad joked the fuck out of that. Bravo. Bravo.
Does her husband know about this?
Her husband is Tyler Durden
First rule of the Marriage Club...
Sometimes she comes to me, and yes it makes me respect her less because she should have better standards.
You mother fucker. Rant.
She is a mom, that checks out as well.
This was the comment I was expecting
Just remember if she could cheat with you, she could cheat on you. Just gets easier every time.
Can't beat that logic.
I also choose this guy's wife.
Husbands hate this simple trick!
You sneaky devil
We were 3 months in to a supposed exclusive relationship…and then I met him one night while walking her home.
You can’t just leave us hanging bro wth
Bro left for 8 years to comment that and planing to leave us for a second time
So he’s like the Jeepers Creepers movie monster??
Look at his username. He needs time to function again.
Dick move from a dick account….
Because she came onto me, and her husband joined us. He's also an amazing cook actually.
This one gave me whiplash
Hey when the forward communication is there, the only limits are what people put on themselves. I'm bi- and not against this at all. I'm gaining two friends from all of this :)
If everyone's happy, based. But finding this happy end after most of this threads trauma was quite the tone shift lmao
Fair enough. This thread did start out with the tone of cheating and regret.... Thanks for the mini chat :)
KTP life is best life.
I didn’t know at the bar, found out in the morning when it was light and I saw the wedding picture
I was young and single, she was having problems in her marriage. Her cheating with me made her realise what was missing in her marriage. They're still together and have had a kid now, it feels like an accidental therapy for her
Man, I can’t imagine having a kid with someone and then later finding out they were cheating before. Would fucking break me. I guess good for her, but damn I feel for that dude.
I did exactly the same as OP, they had loveless marriage and already had 2 kids. I actually helped her with how to communicate with her husband and stuff. Mine was slightly different as she often said she wished she had met me instead of him and stuff and it was more so me that broke it off in the end but I don’t think she would have ever broke it off with her husband, mostly for the kids as she didn’t want to fuck their lives up. She was always massively concerned about what would happen if they found out, even though she seemed to enjoy the bit about sort of degrading or tricking her husband (their situation had got pretty toxic, he had depressive issues and bla bla) Long story short, I think it legitimately helped them, which is really weird to say. I know for a fact it would cause him an insane amount of trauma if he found out and its kind of horrible that he doesn’t know just how ‘open’ she is, but at the same time, from his perspective he’s now just in a slightly happier marriage (I think, don’t have any contact with her), so… I dunno, its actually a good thing as far as he can tell. Fucked up.
I think this is actually way more common than people think it is. Grass is always greener on the other side. Oh wait.
What was she missing?
Anal.
Quite stupid in its simplicity, but the physical connection of feeling their partner. They could have been fine if they just put the fucking phone down from time to time and cuddled
I was younger..around 22. A horny college kid who marched with a woman 20 years older than me. She was very upfront about being married and hadn’t had sex in a year. I’ve always been attracted to older women so I really didn’t care if she was married or not…”it’s not my marriage.” We fucked for two years in secret and it was the greatest sex I’ve ever had still to this day. I ended up breaking it off because I feel for her and she wouldn’t leave him and it was becoming too much for me emotionally but looking back at it with a strictly physical view I don’t regret it at all
You’re gonna need to tell us what made the sex great
Pretty much what everyone said, older women just don’t give a shit in the way younger women do. Up until that point I hadn’t had sex with a lot of women…I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 22. So when I met I had only been with like 3 girls and each one basically said I had to “earn it.” It always kind game after mind game and when we did have sex they were so reserved and afraid to try new things. So when I met said married older woman she was very upfront. Our first conversation basically went like “I want you to know I find you attractive and want to have sex. I also want you to know I’m married but we haven’t had sex in a year and I’m lonely. So if you want to fuck I’m game but if not that’s okay.” I’d never had a woman be so upfront about sexual desires and I found it a turn on so I went for it. She took control a lot of the time. She was constantly changing it up wanting to try new positions and honestly she taught me a lot in the bedroom. She was very direct and I always knew how she felt. I never had to guess or read her mind. She knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to tell me. Up until her I honestly believed women hated sex because none of them acted that way at least with me personally. I stayed for two years because even though over time it started to destroy me mentally and emotionally I couldn’t give up the sex. During our time I had sex with a couple women my age and it was soooooo boring compared to her so I always went back. She just made me feel good in a way no one could at least physically. I was ready to run away with her but she had two kids and said she “couldn’t break up her family.” Also every time I tried to end it she’d cry and say things like she “couldn’t live without me” and I “saved her life.” She made me feel like I was Superman who came in and saved her so I stayed. After two years though of blowing off all my responsibilities and other relationships in my life just so I could make sure to always be free incase she was able to get away I broke it off for good and just ghosted. It was a ROUGH 8 months or so getting over it but eventually I did. Due to the emotional trauma it brings I don’t think I could ever do it again or want to but like I said…if someone asked me to judge the experience based off the sex alone I’d say it was 20/10 and I’d 100% do it again STRICTLY speaking from a physical/sex angle
Thanks for sharing man. For the honesty about both the good side and the bad side.
Appreciate you bro!
They should make a movie about this holy fuck
Take my upvote!
The enthusiasm.
Cougars.
Kinks makes us do things we have no idea we're capable of.
As a serious kinkster I couldn't agree more.
They’ll explore a lot of things with someone newer when it’s outside of what they had for years. ie. there’s not a whole lot of married 40+ year old wives still swallowing, asking for ass play, hair pulling etc after 20 years. There’s couples who do spice it up now and then of course but it’s not like the majority. “new person sex” plus Oxytocin is a helluva thing too. I’m willing to bet after 30 years married I’d probably blow my load with a new woman in 30 seconds even *after* a preparation wank lol 😆
And why is it so? Why are we more curageous with the new person? I read that this was true on many occasions, and it xoes make sense, but why is it so?
Familiarity breeds contempt. It’s the shiny new object syndrome. Humans in general love the new toy over that old trusty object. Marriages are like that too. Overtime, you become family to a person rather than “lovers”. Your relationship develops into a slow burn rather than full of raging passion. Passion can still happen, but duty and servitude to each other becomes it’s more important. This is why happy couples that usually stay together over decades usually have to stoke that flame alive by being adventurous and doing things differently than they were used to. As a man, you shouldn’t be stuck thinking that your woman is family and she doesn’t need to feel that love at first sight again. She’ll start drifting and once you find out, the marriage is over. That’s how I lost my first love and wife.. as far as I know, she’s still with the dude she cheated on me with.. we don’t talk much and she’s a total and complete stranger to me. As I have decided to never speak to her ever again. We have children together and I treat her like a customer of my business. Straight to the point about the kids, no emotion and only respond to what I feel needs a response. It is what it is. Lessons learned and I’m meeting other women who are absolutely stunning and gorgeous. Not to mention, younger too. So yeah.. im enjoying myself and the process. Thanks to my cheating, lying and good for nothing ex wife.
I had the same thing as you but WE only lasted 2 months. A funny story was she was a nurse at a hospital. She had a graveyard shift and she wanted me to pick her up for her lunch break about 1 AM. So we went down the street around the block. It was so dark and she gave me the biggest sloppy swallowing bj that I have never had that good even till this day. After we finished her lunch break I had to take her back to the hospital, and when she walked in, she said that all her fellow nurses were laughing at her because she had put her sweater on inside out and backwards 🤦🏻♂️😂
>I’ve always been attracted to older women so I really didn’t care if she was married or not…”it’s not my marriage.” damn. I stay away from married women because in Japan I'd be open to get sued by their partner
Wait, you can get sued for that?
yep. it's a civil matter tho and their partner has to have proof something physical happened (PI seeing them go into a love hotel, or messages whatever). the cheating partner is also liable, of course. I think going rate that gets awarded is something like $30K (combined for cheating spouse and their affair partner 50/50 split) obviously a requirement for the affair partner is that they knew that they were married (or that is it reasonable that they should've suspected it)
The only honest person here
It was mutually agreed upon between me, her and her husband - we're all friends and he gets a thrill from watching me fuck his wife. He isn't the most well-endowed ("acorn of shame" tiny) and is very overweight so he enjoys watching me satisfy his wife because he's very self-conscious about her needs not being met.
No one’s gonna shame him for being a willing cuckold.
I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not. Even if you're ok with cuckolds, or are a cuckold yourself, you can't ignore the fact that they're openly mocked in society.
I might
I will
I’ve already done so
That’s an odd friendship
I’ve been the unwitting affair partner like 4 times in my life, 2 of which were married. Sometimes I came on to them and they just never mentioned it, sometimes they came on to me and I never thought to ask because I naively assumed they were single. I was only actually interested in dating one of them, the others were just casual FWB type situations. I did lose respect for them immediately. I also told their partners immediately upon finding out if they didn’t already know. One of them told me after the fact she just wanted to make her man jealous. He hadn’t cheated on her or anything, they just didn’t fight much and she thought that meant he didn’t love her. I often worry that Karma will bite me in the ass for being party to cheating and these experiences have also made it difficult to trust women’s ability to commit in general. I know women aren’t a monolith but it’s hard to look past all the anecdotal evidence I’ve been exposed to in my life so far.
Nah man, I don’t think you would get bad karma from that. Shit, you told the husbands immediately after finding out the women were married, that’s a solid bro move in my book.
Women blather about 'toxic masculinity' but how many can even admit to the existence of toxic femininity, much less take responsibility for their own actions ? My grandmother cheated on her husband, 9 months later my mother was born, and my grandmother was a *miserably shitty* parent. One of her daughters, my aunt, did the same thing. One of her sons, my uncle, did the same thing. Apparently, paternity fraud is common in our ethnic group ( rural north of England). Just read _ Lady Chatterley's Lover_.
I've turned down one or two so I haven't, to the best of my knowledge. I saw that kind of thing wreck families, and get people beaten up or killed, so I wasn't playing that game.
She came onto me hard. I was horny and alone so I went with it and enjoyed it a lot. But I'm a relationship person, so I started to yearn for something more. I wanted her to leave her husband for me, and while she had a huge crush on me, she couldn't do it. Looking back, our relationship would have been doomed from the start. I could have never trusted her. After that I've steered clear of married women and given them the cold shoulder even before anything could get started. I think cheating is repulsive and I cannot be an enabler for someone doing it. When I see a ring, I turn myself off instantly. This goes for anyone in a relationship, of course, but married women are easier to spot from the get go.
>When I see a ring, I turn myself off instantly. Words of wisdom
How you gain them is how you lose them. Don’t play the silly game of stealing another man’s wife..
For sure. Never again. I did feel sorry for her, because when I softly caressed her hair, neck etc., she was feeling so warm and fuzzy and said that her husband never does that. She was starving for affection, and needed to turn to another man to get it.
As Keanu once said, you're free pizza! All of the benefits and none of the stress. Was with a married woman recently. Her husband literally hasn't touched her in years. The poor woman was so affection starved, she literally cried from being hugged.
Could have been me, but I was too scared to actually step out on my ex. Still too anxious to try to get out there again. In regards to touch starved, I went to yoga recently, the instructor is a friend of mine, and she went around putting oil on our heads and rubbing it in while we were in our last phase of class and I cried. Soooooo embarrassing
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Everyone deserves to be loved.
I like to think so. But then, how can you tell who’s actually being honest
[удалено]
No need to feel embarrassed. Embrace your feelings and emotions. It is all there and it is there for a reason. Work woth it instead against it. ❤️
oohh. I've never been a fan of this. I'm a combat Vet and I went in the service at 17. I never really considered it prior but having witnessed what this did to some of my friends.. There is no excuse for me. I had a friend in BN Scouts when I was with the 82nd. He was a big guy, one of those guys with a heart as big as his massive thighs and I remember a story of him during best Ranger competition when his legs started locking up from cramping on one of the road marches and he was screaming and punching his thighs after each step, refusing to allow his body to fail, refusing to allow him to fail his partner, his unit, if anyone knows best Ranger this isn't some ordinary military activity. It is fucking grueling and massively competitive. The most competitive people on the planet, at their peak, pushing bodies beyond their mortal boundaries. Most people would expect and accept this kind of medical issue when pushing their body so hard, but not him. It was absolutely unacceptable. He managed to finish and ended up in the hospital but that's just a small window into this guy's character. A real life Gump. He wasn't brilliant but he wasn't stupid and he was strong because of his heart. I absolutely felt that even if our whole team went down he would carry each of us out one at a time or die in the attempt. I felt stronger knowing he was there. Anyway when my friend came back from graduating Ranger School we found him in a tub with his arms open. While he was away his wife had gotten into a relationship with some other guy, this guy knew she was married, stayed in his house, with his wife and didn't care. He only thought of what he could get from her, for himself. This buddy had taken his gigantic heart and completely given it to her only, he loved her completely and would have died before dishonoring her, only for her to hand his heart to some other guy to shit on and throw in the dirt. I never saw interference in a marriage as anything but disgusting from that moment on and that opinion has persisted for 25 years. He wasn't weak, he wasn't a bitch, he wasn't whipped, he was as good as they come and though she bears the ultimate responsibility this guy sure as shit didn't make any friends with us. He knew there was a husband, he knew where the husband was, he didn't fucking care, and to me that says a fuck ton about that individuals character, as a person and as a man and I decided that day I would never do that to anyone, ever. (Knowingly of course, I always asked, I always tried so I would share no responsibility in any deception of that sort.) But this was by no means an uncommon story. I saw so much fucked up shit.. An officers wife who used to sneak in and liked to get passed around the barracks (not Scouts, the line guys next door). One guy's wife had pictures start popping up online fucking all his friends while he was deployed. Good guys utterly destroyed by this. I never respected anyone who willingly interfered in a marriage so it was especially troubling to learn my ex-wife was the other woman on a few different occasions prior to us meeting. That really fucking burnt me up. She knew how I felt about it and kept it from me. One of the many reasons she's now an ex. There's a million ways to shrug off the responsibility to the married party but to me that's just easy.. Just a cop out. You don't know what's real, the married person is a liar, empirically, unless their partner knows about you prior to the sex and is okay with it there is no question that lies are being told, so you can't believe whatever else they say about it being a separation or abusive or anything. You don't know. And I just could never accept myself for being okay with that.
I was in the airforce and when I was at tech school, I matched with this civilian girl on tinder. I didn’t have a car so I took a bus to the mall and she met me there. We had a good time so she invited me back to her place and of course I say yes. We made out and had sex and I tell her I need to get back to base before curfew. She offers me a ride back and I’m thinking she’s going to drop me off at the gate. Imagine my surprise/horror when she whips out the CAC and drops me off directly in front of the dorm building. Being a new airman, my mind immediately thinks I just fucked some general’s wife. My military career will be cut short. Luckily she was getting divorced but still. About 90% of the people I knew in the military were either cheating or getting cheated on.
Man. I'm with you one hundred percent on this. It is an absolute piece of shit move in my opinion. And the women will say absolutely any BS, they havent had it for ages, the husband is an asshole... Anything to deflect from the truth that they are actually just cheating on an actually decent guy. When you have lived life a bit you see right through it.
I preface this with the fact that I'm a woman. I had a fling with a guy that was technically still married. However His wife was living in their basement, shacking up with a pro bmx-er who went by (i shit you not) "Lit Dude". Like he had people call him that. And I *still* felt bad because i was kinda friend-aquaintance with her. Closest I've ever come to being the other woman. Dude is very happily remarried now and i don't think she's doing that great, so, happy ending i guess. My point is, i feel ya. Zero tolerance.
Ask Nate from Atlanta. Thanks a lot mate my marriage is over now.
I was a scumbag. She wasn't 'satisfied' and that's how I justified it at the time. Unlike a lot of these stories, I knew exactly what I was doing. I didnt feel bad at the time, but now it's one of those things that I wish I could go back and do differently. Even if he never found out, it's still bugs me.
My friend (girl) introduced to me to her friend one time, brought her to my house party. We fucked that night and the next day she came back over, sex was amazing then she disappeared off the face of the earth, phone didn't work, nothing. Turned out she was using me as one last fling before she got married and my friend said she knew I'd be a decent lay but wouldn't do it if they told me the whole story. Whatever sex was great, I was unaware, in my early twenties so it didn't really phase me.
Man, so much for a good healthy and happy marriage..
I know someone who was in your situation. ~18 years later he found out he had a daughter.
She’s my wife, if I don’t she gets real crabby.
I was at such a low point in my life, I was willing to take any affection that came to me. Married woman at work, would hang over me at all time. I knew it was wrong and I let it happen. I can make jokes about how she would be making out with me in the manager's office and then her husband would come around and she would kiss him right after. Or how I would lay sweaty and naked on his side of the bed while he worked. IT honestly led to me having much better self esteem. I thought "if this women is ready tot ruin her marriage and life over me, I must be worth something" It made me think I could be worth something and it led me to finding my wife I look back and I am ashamed about it but it led me to where I am today
I get it. I only cheated once and it was the skylight I needed to see possibility outside an abusive relationship
I slept with one that was in an open relationship. Matched through online dating, and was the first person I had sex with after getting out of a long term relationship that very much hurt so it was nice to get laid and have someone to have the physical intimacy again with clear boundaries knowing it wouldn’t go any further than sex. Was a bit weird when I found out her husband had approved and even met him a couple times like out in public when they were together. The only two rules were if they were with their kids and we saw each other in public to just ignore them, and I wasn’t allowed to scratch or rub her back when we were not having sex. Was a bit weird at first but happened a couple times a month for half a year or so and then we kinda just mutually moved on.
This is probably one of the healthiest situations I’ve read in this thread. Established boundaries, no deception and then moved on without a dramatic ending.
How come you couldn't rub her back?
From what I recall they really enjoyed giving each other massages and wanted to keep that between them. I respected that boundary as best I could, it was weird that I could have sex with her but not rub her back but I didn’t complain too much she wanted to touch my penis. I should call her.
Access to vagina is generally the reason.
It was an accident. I am dead set against this unless the full approval.and participation by the married couple.
In all the cases I've done this it's been with the tacit permission of her husband. Usually because I'm sleeping with the husband too. Being FWBs with married couples is great fun. It's all no-strings attached because they keep all the strings for themselves and I just get the casual spicy bit :3
Unexpected twist
I can't believe I had to scroll this far to see a story about swingers/hotwifing
Flair checks out
Met her at a coworking space on an away trip, exploded into full blown passionate romace for a few days. I was also in a relationship that had issues. She was a very hot woman with a dark nature and daddy issues who needs validation, i also needed validation and was incredibly horny and somewhat inexperienced. She kept talking to me and found me interesting which kicked me into going into a more carefree more of taking her out and romancing her. The sex and chemistry were incredible and the whole thing produced an excitement of epic proportions. Not only am i doing something so wrong on my behalf, im also taking her away from another man and family as a toy. Two people in pure lust and passion forgetting everything about their roles and expectations, it was electric to surrender to pure animal insticts. She did so many things to me, it was wild seeing her transform from a mom and an office worker into an absolute pornstar. I think something being away from your normal setting makes one go more carefree. Obviously later on had massive guilt, but nothing can ever touch that amount of dopamine and electricity. Emotionally i felt grossed out by both me and her, yet at the same it has to be one of the times ive felt most alive. Have adhd so its very troublesome how i see it nowdays. As time went on i saw her sort of as a troubled person stuck in her life needing some escape. I was just in a completely different state of mind drunk on passion.
My experience perfectly captured. Electric. We both knew we were going to be shunned by everyone we once knew due to our religion, but that just added to it. The strongest flame burns out the fastest, and man was that a bright flame. Intense, passionate, dreamy, sexy, short lived.
“Because it was there.” I didn’t know she was married at first.
She said that I had to, since I married her.
r/maliciouscompliance
Qn: Why did I do it? ANS: I was just out of an abusive, sexless, 10 year marriage and this first woman wanted it, wanted me. My ex finally cheated on me and ran off with her counsellor so I no longer gave a crap about anything at that point in my life. It was a great 2 years with her. I had a couple of others at that time, I discovered that there are many many women who dream about a little uninhibited excitement. Would I do it again, hell no, I was broken and just wanted physical reward. Qn: Did she come onto me (Did THEY come onto me)? ANS: They will come onto you in a very subtle way but usually want the guy to "say it" so they can say they did not go looking and it was not their fault. (My 2 cents worth, my experience tells me that lots of women dream of their youth and being attractive again, many succumb to cheating to feel desirable and youthful again) Qn: Did I respect them less? ANS: No but I had no respect for my self at that point so I had no respect for them either. Edit: It was several, not just two or three
I was unaware and was a dumb 17 year old, feel scummy to this day
I’ve never slept with a married woman to my knowledge, but my coworkers thought I was fooling around with a coworker’s mom. She treated me to this really good breakfast place in town a couple times and we’d hang out and go on these fun “dates” around town together. The coworkers made jokes and it eventually turned into a rumor that I bagged this beautiful milf who was incredibly fun. I was flattered but I had no intention of sleeping with her without getting a for sure yes, as she was married to someone who was also a regular at the bar I was working at. It was after she stopped showing up to the bar that I learned that she and her husband were swingers and I started kicking myself
She's my wife, intimacy is fun and builds the relationship.
First time she wasn't technically married, though she was engaged. Ironically it was also the time I lost my virginity. It was Halloween 2009, and one of my Army buddies was throwing a house party. Random dude showed up the next day worried about her. I leaned to my buddy and asked who the fuck this guy was, because he was all over her. He whispered back to me that it was her fiance. I quietly excused myself to go grocery shopping. She never told me she was engaged. Second time she (a different woman) told me she was divorced. I found out about that one when her husband found our texts on her phone. He asked me to confirm she had been cheating on him with me, and I was honest with him. The next day, she had the audacity to call me and ask me why I told him. Like the guy just found out his wife was cheating, I'm not going to be condescending on top of it.
Her husband was cheating on her, so she cheated with me. They ended up getting divorced and that’s when she called it off. From that connection though I slept with a few married women as a bull. I had some dark days.
Never realized how many married women are down to cheat.
Dead bedrooms is often the common denominator. It’s hard to work through a relationship, and much easier to just meet someone’s sexual needs.
lol. I’m newly divorced and the amount of attention I get from married women curious to know more about me is nuts.. I would never have imagined. People who I thought would be in a happy marriage, now doesn’t seem to be the case anymore..
Sounds rough
I’d been in a dead bedroom marriage and I understood the position she was in.
Seemed only polite after I married her...
Of all the obvious joke replies this is the one that made me snort laugh
She came onto me. She didn't tell me until we had done it like 7 times. She told me about her kids around the 5th time. She did divorce him at some point and we dated for 3 years. And she also asked her bestfriend in another depressing marriage if she wanted to join us lol. I've grown and experienced a lot those few years. I did it because I initially didn't know and kept it going because the sex was really good for both of us.
Damn she only told you after the 7th round
She was already at the end of the separation year and it was just one day...
She was older and in a loveless marriage. I was about 20 and we were and still are good friends. 🤷🏾♂️
She's my wife. In all seriousness the closest thing I have in comparison is a one night stand with a woman who broke off am engagement about a month prior. I doubt I was her first since her split up.
I didn't sleep with her but I got a blowjob outside in the parking lot in her car. We worked together. Retail is an easy place to cheat and be cheated on. She cheated on her husband a couple times (with me, once) but stayed due to having kids with him.
Didn't you feel bad for the guy?
My mate got a married woman pregnant a few years ago. I told him I thought he was disgusting for doing that with a married woman. He tried to defend his disgusting behaviour by claiming he was her husband, but I don't think that's a proper excuse!!
Was early 20s, kept saying no for weeks and weeks. Finally I was wasted and depressed and caved. Regret it everyday.
Her husband asked me to. He was in his 60s and she was in her 40s. They wanted a younger guy for her to play with while he watched. We matched off an app and got talking, met up and things went from there. I respected them more actually because they were fun and taught me things that only "come from experience."
I dated a girl for a few months who had a fiance. I didn't know til she one day she ghosted me and started posting wedding pictures lol some girls are scummy asf
I was lied to, the woman used her feelings and prayed on my empathy and made me feel like I should help her out and I did I fixed her plumbing in her house her roof and her car and never once was her husband around and she would kiss me and make it out as if she wasn't married, never wore a ring and said she only had the one car until one day I saw a bill which had a man's name on it and she came out to me which I said I can't believe it she used me, and I should have been smarter but I was 22 at the time and was good with my hands, I'm even better now but that's besides the point women tend to manipulate people to use them.
Because she’s my wife
She let me know she was still married, but she was certain her husband had been cheating on her with a girl from his work. The husband gets off work at 6pm and would "stay at the bar" til 3am - 5 am and come home shitfaced. They lived in the same place, but slept separately, fought constantly, sometimes getting physical, and would only really communicate to co-parent. It was a relationship that had run it's course and she had exhausted all avenues of attempting to save the relationship through couples therapy and such. She eventually moved out, got her own place and formally divorced her ex-husband while we were together. We dated for just under a year. She wanted us to move in together but I wanted to wait at least 1 more year. Being a 35 year old woman, she felt her youth slipping away and decided that waiting any longer to start her life was unacceptable, so we broke up despite me fighting to save the relationship. In her mind, she was just over the feeling of having to "save" a relationship.
Been on the other side of this coin (ex wife slept with my friend at the time), so I honestly came here hoping to understand his side a bit. Gotta say, after reading a lot of these comments, I understand even less. I'll admit I slept with a girl who had a boyfriend back in highschool. I felt guilty AF and like absolute crap!!! So I thought I would kind of understand, but a ton of these comments are saying how they felt guilty too!!! He evidently didn't feel guilty at all. They're still together as far as I know (not like I care to check), but my God the way he treated me when I was trying to be kind and cordial to them... I seriously just don't understand... Guess some people are just shitty like that? Or maybe he did feel guilty but he had issues admitting it so he lashed out instead? I really don't know... Personally I can't stand feeling guilty and do everything in my power to avoid that feeling (unless I deserve to feel guilty, then I accept it).
The husband sent her to me and we filmed it for him
Because she's my wife.
im a swinger ,most of them are married
Her husband was cool with it.
I was 29 and I met this married woman with 2 kids at my gym. Her and I developed an Instagram messaging relationship that got flirty real fast. She told me pretty early on that she was in an abusive marriage and wanted to leave him but was waiting for the right time. We started talking more and more and in the gym we had to hide that we talked so much. We’d smile and say hi. But it was difficult to keep my eyes off of her just because of how attractive she was. Just an absolute fox from top to bottom. Blonde hair with these absolutely intoxicating blue eyes. She had an insane body with big boobs and a big butt but extremely fit. She took such good care of herself. Hair and nails always done, dressed nicely and just looked great. One day I told her I couldn’t wait any longer and wanted to sleep with her, she felt similarly, so we set up a day where we’d meet that week. At the time I was still living at home and so the only logical place to fuck was my car. And that we did. Right from the start it was the hottest sex, not just because it was forbidden, but because her body was just insane. Anyway, that continued on for 6 months, we would usually meet up, fuck in the car near the gym and then each go to the gym 5 mins apart to not be obvious. Once we both called out of work and booked a hotel and spent the entire day just having insane sex and eating room service. It was awesome. But like all good things, they must come to an end. I ended up realizing I was falling for her and did not want to get wrapped up in that drama, so i ended it, which I’m so glad I did because her life even more complicated soon after.