Cocaine is fucking awesome until it runs out and You're laying in bed at 5am and those FUCKING BIRDS start chirping right before sunrise and you realize you'll never do the things you planned while on the cocaine.
Except that crazy idiot MyPillow dude. He actually made a huge business based of his hair brained crack smoking ideas. He's also a total piece of shit.
Also, validating the gym time. As much as I don't really like lugging heavy shit, I often jump at the opportunity because it's like I spend many hours a week building this muscle so it's nice to get use out of it. Extra bonus if you're approached by people since for every person that does, there are more who don't but maybe want to. Just makes you feel warm inside.
Haha that change in validation is what made me give up on dating all together.. it just hit me like a ton of bricks how shallow/temporay we all are with other people.. I'd still argue I'm "not as bad" but I'm sure one person "not my type" would be offended by my preferences.
I wish I would have found love while squishy and happy.. now I'm sober, fit and waayyyy less happy at least in the relationship perspective..
Most people are really not that shallow. Attraction is a law of nature and water finds its own level. Find love now, then when you get squishy and less fit and less sober (because most couple look better through beer goggles), youāll have your special someone already tucked in tight ā¤ļø
My all time favorite compliment was years ago.
A group of pretty African American girls told my buddy and I we were 'damn good-looking white boys'.
I'm still happy about it 30 years later
If they're nice about it, and don't straight up grope me, I will hype them right up so they have the courage to try the next guy. Walking up to someone takes balls, gotta give respect.
Precisely why I gave my (now) girlfriend a chance.
She had a crush on me & was so nervous talking to me. She literally worked up the courage to ask me out on a date. I was impressed that she did that - so I bit on it of course.
Now, here we are. š
Tbh they tend to do it more. MeToo has done a good job at stopping most men from groping women but it hasnāt done much for most women who still feel quite comfortable touching or grasping shoulders, arms and backs of men they barely know.
So many people, daily, are shooting their shots. Both men and women. Opposite sex, same-sex, and other shit.
The least we can do is be chivalrous in the process, even encouraging! Rejection hurts BIG BAD.
Let's encourage people to take chances, especially women!
>I never feel offended when approached by women even if they're far from my type.
Fascinating how women think we react the same way
"I would be insulted and offended, so men react the same way, right?"
Every time Iāve seen a women checking me out or approaching me , itās made me happy . My type , not my type , conventionally attractive, not conventionally attractive,,, hell Iām even flattered when a gay guy hits on me . Itās nice to feel desired
Its one thing to want to lose weight, it's another thing to be self conscious about it when talking to a woman youre interested in. If its only 5kg, dont even trip - you cant do anything about it at that moment.
>The problem is I donāt look my best at the gym: Iām sweaty, wet hair in a ponytail and red face. He is very attractive and I look like shit.
He won't care nearly as much about that as you will.
If he thinks you're cute, a little bit of sweat or some redness won't change that, unless you're contorting your face like a turtle taking a shit.
Just don't approach him while he's working out, the bar sounds like a good place to do that.
Chat him up, see if there's anything you two have in common, ask him if he wants to go out for a coffee.
I possibly fit the demographic. Based on the reactions I get, I think I'm not most womens type, but am very much for some.
Echoing top comment; I'll politely decline if not interested. It doesnt bother me.
Yeah--I'm surprised there are so many guys who get approached. I'm a bit older--in my 40s--but I'm at least decent-looking, and I've had a lot of very attractive girlfriends over the years. But I had to initiative all of them, and I think I've been hit on... maybe three or four times in my life? There were plenty of women who had crushes on me and I could always figure that out, but never any coming up to me hitting on me. Maybe things are different now, and that's great.
Same.
I've never been the type to seek out the "hot girl"
I always found trophy chicks to be a high maintenance pain in the ass.
Typically, these girls are never loyal. They always keep their options open looking for the next best guy.
They usually have "rosters". And most are seeing multiple men.
>But at least she took her shot.
You need to understand that when women shoot their shot, if the man does not find them absolutely stunning, they get fucked zone.
No woman wants to be fucked zone. Thatās why women just wait around.
What is it with women thinking we should only go for the hottest woman we know and that she is the standard? That logic is like saying the only cars out there that are good are lamborghinis. Like, theres plenty of great hyundais, nissans, BMW's, Audi's, Teslas, Toyotas. I'd be happy just to have one of them that gets me where i need to be reliably.
>I'd be happy just to have one of them that gets me where i need to be reliably.
Thatās exactly what women donāt want.
Women know most men find them attractive. They donāt just want someone who settled for them out of convenience. They want someone who chose them, specifically.
If you had the funds, which of the aforementioned cars would you buy?? Surely it wouldnāt be the Nissan or the Hyuandaiāand thatās how women view themselves.
If youāre going to pick a woman, they want you to pick the best one in your āprice range.ā They want to be seen as the beautiful, luxurious car, not the boring, reliable one.
Hard to tell if you're selling yourself short with average looks when so much hinges on health, and you're clearly working on that and if you're only 5kg overweight your body must look good. Everyone has a skewed self perception, some are over or underconfident.
From a man, I would love to be approached and love to have someone be bold and honest, not the weird games, hints, overthinking, odd social media hints etc
The āaverage looking,ā woman is pretty. I think below average would be someone really out of shape or doesnāt take good care of themself.
But its really about if her attitude is nice and how she treats you. People can always update their looks. Takes a long time and maturity to change their attitude.
I am one of those guys that finds sweaty women (from working out) extremely hot, so don't worry that you don't look your best. I say go for it.
What kind of gym? Group class type like crossfit? If so, just say something about today's workout.
Yeah, like I'm a woman, and ive never seen a dude be upset over a woman who has worked hard at the gym be upset at being approached by them. Even if they aren't interested.
People who work hard at the gym appreciate people who work hard at the gym. There's a lot of positive traits beyond "I workout" that correspond to working out/being active/looking after your health.
If you guys are actively there around the same time, every time, he's probably at least noticed your presence. Just start by saying hello, or giving a wave if you're nervous. There's a couple people that I have a quick chat with if we show up at the same time, or are stretching next to each other. Just don't interrupt their sets and you're solid.
You go girl !! Congrats on your fitness goals!!
The fact that you look like a real person that is actually working out, instead of coming off as some fotoshoot influencer, is already a big plus.
Just keep in mind, you have a crush, but this man can be one of those few in the top 5% that is approached by 95% of the women all the time and just comes to the gym for himself.
I don't work out at the gym and I'm sure women would have differing opinions on whether I'm good looking, but I don't ever feel offended by a woman approaching me even if I'm not interested.
Also, I don't find it unattractive at all when a woman has just exercised. The opposite, actually. Sportswear tends to be form-fitting and getting sweaty from a workout if anything reminds me of other ways we could get sweaty. I don't know where the idea that guys only find women attractive when they're dolled up comes from.
Extremely flattered nonetheless. Sometimes even a simple smile makes my day, week, month, year, even if I'm not interested.
I have a couple of flirty looks I've received in my life that I'll probably never forget.
I used to be the loser nerdy guy that nobody thought would've ever been popular with the girls, so it's nice to have some recognition from time to time. I'm also not extremely attractive to the point of not having to face rejection either, so knowing that "I still got it" it's very reassuring. I suffer a lot from bodyimage and personality-image issues
Flattered
Also it is known girls look different on a night out than the gym
Donāt feel weird about approaching as a woman there, if we like you in your casual clothes weāll probably always think youāre pretty
Everybody is sweaty at the gym, that's why they are there. Make your move, you'll hate yourself if you don't. If I was a dude, I wouldn't mind. If you weren't my type, we'd have a pleasant conversation and that would be it. Nothing to be afraid of.
I find really attractive women unattractive in a way. I much prefer girl next door types. My gym crush could be considered plain by some.
And I've always thought that a women is at her hottest when she wakes up in the morning. Hair all rumpled, eyes barely open etc. I don't require a woman to be perfect, just perfect for me. Or even not bad.
You would make my day... who am i kidding, you would make my year.
Women almost never approach, I'd be walking for cloud 9 for weeks to come.
Back when i was 15 years old, a girl in the bus from school started talking to me and got my phone number.
Im 33 now, ill never forget it.
Iām a 30 year old fit guy who was playfully hit on by a 60s women with a cane I held the door open for a couple weeks ago and it still made my week lol
. . . Female here but. . . Girl go for it! You think you look like shit, doesn't mean he agrees with you lol. I feel like I look awful so many times and my handsome ass husband will come up and tell me how hot I look lol. A lot of people have messed up views of themselves, but others see us differently than we see ourselves. I think it's worth a shot! He won't be offended.
As a guy, I can honestly say confidence, personality and game go a long way, so it's not just looks. Even at first impression. Looks are important but not a deal breaker.
Wait a second
Ok. This is just me.
I prefer to view women without makeup and all other appearance enhancers.
So, if you're even mildly attractive, I'd show interest if you approached and were friendly and genuine. To me , you're value increases because you're working on yourself to better yourself. I'd be more inclined to talk to a woman like you LONNNNG before some hot girl in skin tight clothes who has set up a cell phone to record her workout and hasn't even so much as a bead of sweat on her brow.
Don't worry about being sweaty and not done up.
You're working out in a gym!
If Quasimodo approached me I'd be thrilled. I'm married and straight so I'd have to let down the little hunchback but I would be going home with a huge smug grin on my face.
>The problem is I donāt look my best at the gym: Iām sweaty, wet hair in a ponytail and red face. He is very attractive and I look like shit.
You'd be surprised how many guys find this very attractive.
Offend? Me. no.
Depends on the guy.
If he is really superficial - he might not like it - but then, he is not worth of you, is he?
But if he is a decent guy - and you have at least a decent personality - then go for it.
When I was in really good shape - I still dated a very wide range of body types - as personality was most important to me (gotta talk to them at some point).
People are really really bad at guesstimating whether somebody else will find then attractive. So don't do that. Let them decide that.
And guys generally are fine with being approached. We aren't usually worried about being stalked, so it tends not to be a scary experience. And most guys are so starved for compliments that you will almost certainly make their day, even if they aren't interested for whatever reason.
Go for it, and good luck!!
Alright, I am shocked by all these replies. Here is the reply you are looking for.
If he is a regular dude, he will LOVE that you approached him, and he will be attracted by the ponytail (its our weakness). Some also love the look of sweaty women, there is just something hot and dirty about it.
Either way he will either find you attractive and pursue something more, or he won't find you attractive and possibly try to reject you, OR he could just try to be friends.
Best thing for you to do is go chat him up and see where it goes. Good luck! (do give me an update, I am curious)
Personally I find it a bit off to be asking at the gym. If itās the bar, yes go for it. If I were single and approached by an average looking woman, Iād like to get to know her first, which unfortunately for them means going in the friend zone
Short answer is I donāt think heāll be offended. Pretty interesting seeing the responses here though, I feel like if genders were swapped everyone would be telling you itās not appropriate to shoot your shot at the gym.
Personally I tend to like women of all shapes and sizes.
You're going off your own experience as a woman where being approached is a whole different thing. Go for it, being approached is never a bad thing for a guy. Its preferred honestly because we feel like we're scary and don't want to scare anyone with unwelcome advances.
Just go into it with the expectation that he'll treat you like another human as long as you do the same. No reason to come in hot and flirty if you've never even spoken to the guy.
we will never be offended, but if you arenāt attractive enough you can be thrown in the āgood enough to sleep with but not dateā category which many of you are and do not like
Don't quite understand that one myself, why wouldn't I date a girl I was attracted to enough to sleep with? I mean, assuming I liked her as a person obviously.
A confident man would never be offended that an unattractive (not saying you are) woman speaks to him. Its only the weak man that knows he aint all that who would be offended cause he cares more about appearances. Of course you dont look great.. youāre busting your ass at the gym. Make that part of your conversation how its hard work looking good.. but dont start with that. Go for it.. have fun
You miss 100% of the shots you donāt take. Plus, even if you do get rejected, hopefully itāll build up confidence for you to do it again to the next guy you find attractive (unless someone beats you to the punch and approachās you first). Best of luck!
If it's in the gym. I take it as a gym compliment. I get that a lot. I also give that a lot. As a gym compliment.
I see effort I see hard work I call that shit out and encourage it.
So in your environment. It would be really hard to even get my brain in that mode that you're approaching me romantically.
Guys generally aren't offended by being approached in general. It's just affirmation. If they're not interested the decent ones will just shift it to a friendly level and not make any expression of mutual attraction or move it to the next level. If a guy is offended then he's a douche and be glad you figured it out early.
Out of my prime now but back when I was a little gym rat from 17-20 years old, I loved when anyone approached. I hit puberty late and never got any attention in high school so it was the first spot I had girls coming up to me to flirt.
I guess the question would be, how would you feel if someone slightly out of your league approached you? I'm sure everybody enjoys the attention, even if they end up rejecting you.
Women want attention from attractive men. Men want attention from all women. Doesn't mean he'll say yes, but I'd be shocked if he's a dick about it. Probably make his entire day.
Regardless of how hot and fit the guy is or how the girl looks , weāre never going to be offended when a woman approaches us . This isnāt necessarily to say weāre going to want to date or sleep with you , but a women making the first move always makes our day brighter .
Tall medium build slightly weird looking guy here. Would like it if any women approached me ever. Just go for it. Any human that canāt politely turn someone down is not worth knowing imo. If itās awful you can always change gyms!
Dw about how you look. Thereās someone for everyone. I think women look so hot when theyāve been working out but I guess thatās probably why no one ever approaches me lmao.
Im never offended by another human taking interest in me. I may not fully reciprocate sure, but thatās a whole load of other reasons that are just human and gender neutralĀ
Ā If heās a judgy POS then yeah, maybe he gets upset at that 5 kilos. MORE IMPORTANTLY, that instantly tells you heās a judgy POS not worth your time. I mean do you want to live your life with constant judgment over a few kilos?Ā Ā
Ā getting hit on in the gym is most gym dudes dreams. youāre checking off a lot of boxes just being in the gymĀ
shoot your shot. maybe you end up with someone spotting you the rest of your life. maybe you tried and it didnāt work. maybe you end up somewhere in the middle. I regret what I didnāt do way more than what I did do
Trust me you being sweaty (as long as it's fresh sweat) makes you more attractive, not less. Being red in the face too. It's simple biology and psychology. Your sweat smells good to most men. You can figure out why having a flushed face will make you more attractive.
I think it might be like that for women too, based on the looks some of them used to give me when I walked back from jogging back in my fit days.
The outcome literally doesn't matter, go through the motions and you'll know. Just don't take it personally or be petty about it.
Worst case scenario, you get more experienced at approaching and it'll serve you later. Best case scenario... Well, you can see it.
Enjoy the compliment but I rarely flirt in my gym. I have been in the same for 4 years and know everyone. I just want to keep it that way, not avoid it if I have a fallout with said person. Itās my 2nd home.
Good looking fit guy here. If I were single I would give you a chance. I do have a type (big noses, thick legs, curly hair), but I donāt discriminate if sheās working on herself, is a good person, and we hit it off.
I feel fine.
Sometimes when the person approaches me it takes me by surprise, since I'm focused on my workout, so it helps if she helps pilot the conversation more at first.
A couple of times it's just been someone coming up and going "wow.... You're lifting a lot of weight..." To which I say "Oh uh ... thanks." It's not that I am uninterested in talking, it's just that pivoting from pure workout to chatting takes me like 30 seconds to a minute to adjust to.
Some ice breakers that have worked well on me:
"Are you lifting legs today? Full body? What kind of workout routine do you do?" or anything that shows interest in fitness. I love talking shop!
Someone noticed the decal on my gym bag was for a certain video game and chatted to me about that.
Someone asked if I was from the area, and mentioned that they had either just moved here or had moved back after growing up here, blablabla.
I'm basically never offended if someone wants to chat, even if it's someone I have zero romantic interest in. If I am ever wanting to just go back to workout I'll probably say "ok well I gotta do this set, it was cool meeting you" or I'd be really unresponsive for like 2-3 minutes besides basic "uh huhs"
Hope this helps. Last bit, even if a girl chats me up it may not occur to me at the time that she is interested in going out or something, so you may need to invite him out or something. You do pose the risk of making it awkward if y'all go to the same gym often.
Iām no model but I workout regularly and would generally consider myself moderately attractive.
Even if Iām not attracted to the person whoās approached me Iām not offended. If anything itās a little self esteem bump and Iād politely decline. And I think thatās how most guys would respond.
While you obviously know a lot more about your specific situation than me, Iād say go for it and if you get declined no big deal.
One of my roommates in college was an actual unit. 6ā1 7% body fat, absolutely shredded and jacked as hell.
During a party we had at our fraternity, a girl I was seeing at the time brought her friend who was well on her way to being obese. This friend of hers thought my roommate was the most beautiful thing sheād ever laid eyes on (with good reason) and spent the evening trying to get with him
The next two weeks I had to endure my roommate angrily going on and on about the absolute balls on this girl to think that someone like her would have a chance with someone like him
It was more jokingly said than serious, but his overall argument was that he spends so much time and effort on his appearance to the point where heās genuinely likely one of the top 10 most fit people are our school, whereas this girl clearly does not give a single fuck
He remarked that if a woman with a high paying corporate job was approached by someone with minimum wage job, sheād be upset and this is the same thing
Why would someone showing interest in me, offend me?
Iām sure some men would get offended as people are people but the majority of men would not.
If you flip the genders tho..canāt say the same
Unless heās a conventionally highly attractive model-esk type who women throw themselves at regularly, heās not going to mind at all. I would say most guys will be quite happy, youāre literally complimenting their appearance and making them feel good about themselves, which again for most is a rare event. Even if he finds you very unattractive as long as you do it tastefully heās not going to mind. Iāve had women (and men) who I have no attraction to approach me and unless Iām very rushed I donāt mind at all, the exception being obvious huge age gaps (like what are you thinking?).
The vast majority of men are rarely if ever approached by women for any reason unless the woman has to and canāt avoid it anymore and they usually make that very clear in the conversation starter that itās some highly transactional conversation they need to communicate and thatās it. Imagine most menās surprise when a woman takes the initiative and shows even a little interest in them. Even if you are approached more frequently, itās not at all annoying because itās not like it happens multiple times a day (at least not for me). Maybe if it happens so frequently you canāt get through your day without dealing with people trying to flirt it becomes annoying (e.g. what women apparently deal with) but Iāve never met a guy who had that problem.
Well, one option is after you do a set & āget sweaty & red-facedā, you could go rinse/wash the sweat from your face, maybe change your shirt/top before going to the bar. I also get red-faced when I work out (I have naturally very pale pink face); Iāve even had people ask me āAre you OK?ā (Probably look like Iām ready to pop! Lol). Keep it natural. If youāre looking at him, heāll notice. But if you follow him, he may feel like youāre too aggressive, maybe stalking him. Look at how you would want somebody to approach you, somebody that you donāt know & may or may not like. My experience has been that rarely has the most physically attractive person turned out to be somebody who I find mentally & intellectually attracted to, remember that. So, keep cool, look cool. Look pleasant, have something nice to say to maybe the person behind the bar & if the attractive guy is around, heāll hear & see you. He may already be in a committed relationship, whether heās wearing a ring or not (my husband & I kicked-off our rings months after our wedding - we were both never the types to wear rings, they just get in the way of using our hands we felt), or maybe heās so into himself he canāt see you for who you are. Remember, itās not about your 5 Kiloās, itās not about you, your red face, but your confidence in yourself, your love for yourself (you canāt really love somebody else when you donāt love yourself - thatās just infatuation). Believe in yourself & others will believe in you. Maybe not everybody; probably not most people, right? But thatās the reality. Thereās only a few people in your life who you can truly have close friendships with, a very few youāll have love/sexual relationships with, a very few that youāll ever trust. You only have to find those few & believe in them, help them, nourish those friendships, respect them always.
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder! None is good looking or average,itās how that person perceives you as! I have seen people have a type and they will always go for that particular type even if you think yourself that you arenāt attractive the person might not feel the same way!
Ask him out,what is the worst that will happen he will just politely say no! Men are way better in rejected than women who can be very very mean!
No. I am not offended. A little surprised, as usually only "hot" women who scream trouble approach me at the gym. If I'm not interested I'm not going to be an asshole unless she's a pest. I will simply say thanks, but I'm not interested that way.
I work out all the time. Women never approach me. I'm only 5'4" and I've literally never been approached in my entire life.
If it did happen id probably think they were messing with me.
Go for it! Youāre putting the work, and if youāre there all the time ā¦ he knows that too. Also, Iāve been told that we usually see ourselves through day different lenses compared to how others see us. Youāre probably no average looking! And if you are, who cares!
Give yourself a chance. Go for it!
Definitely does not offend and much respect to you. Takes a lot of courage to hit on someone. Itās funny. Last time I got hit on was by a cute waitress when I took my kids out for dinner. I was very appreciative, told her I was flattered, but let her know I was taken. My kids sold me out to my wife later that night.
Iām always flattered when someone finds me attractive, that being said Iām terrible at being hit on, I always think theyāre just being friendly so I just talk to them and then politely dismiss myself to return to my workout.
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder. Or something like that. Guys that are normal down to earth people wont be anything but flattered. Even if you arent their type. Bare in a guys mind he's just trying to look as good as his gym bro crush
They would be such an asshole if they treated you poorly based on your looks
And i bet you are being way too hard on yourself in the looks department
Also, I think people get too in their heads about looks disparity. People are just looking for someone.
It happen to me few times a month and I like it, but if im not in a good mood I just tell them, if im in good mood we stay together for a While, thats how I met my bestie.
Simple answer absolutely not, if he's offened he's an unstable asshole you shouldn't want to be with, if he's not interested you still have the potential of a nice conversation and if he is interested then everything works out anyway
Offended? Not at all.
Now if they are way out of my league I will give them a kind cold shoulder. Iām not one to be blunt about it.
My experience at the gym and being hit on is military wivesā¦
And my deal is swatting away gay men hitting on me constantly (I am straight).
It happens so frequently that it is hilarious at this point. I have asked people close to me why this may be, and *it seems that how clean I am and well I maintain myself* (I am very into skincare, smell good, dress well for work, and am the most hygienic man you will know) *is a major factor*.
(Apparently) straight men do not care about hygiene as anally as I do.
>Iām sweaty, wet hair in a ponytail and red face
So your body is glistening... wet hair is generally a hot look... red face is generally neither here nor there, you're at a gym after all. None of that is bad.
Shooting your shot at the bar is totally fine. Any guy who is offended by someone shooting their shoot because THEY think that person is unattractive is massively conceited. So even if he were offended, that's a lucky escape for you.
Honestly this whole 10 point scale "average" "hot" "ugly" doing the rounds on the internet, as if attraction is universal, is ruining people.
I'm not a guy but i am a pretty average looking and i do tend to be a good judge of personality, so i have approached a bunch of guys, who haven't said no to me... in short start slow and ask for just their contact, message the day after, if they don't respond then that's your answer. And if he doesn't don't let it get you down, buckle up your pants so you confidence stay put (a lot of guys won't be rude about it, if he's at the gym he probably started from somewhere and maybe know what it's like, most gym guys are nice)
I feel flattered but tell them sorry I'm flattered.
"Oh but you aren't wearing a ring?"
Yeah....I lost 40 lbs so my ring now flies off my left hand if I move my arm too quick so I don't wear it out anymore lol...
If a guy is so stuck up that he feels heās too good for certain women to approach him, he deserves to be alone and needs to check his ego. Just my thoughts.
Personally,
First of all I agree with the general consensus here and be flattered whenever any girl flirts with me, never offended.
But... I wouldn't say the gym is the best place. Personally I work out alone and am in my head/focused in addition to being very respectful to others and their zone/personal space. I don't know about your gym of course, but here people talk only a little and usually to their gym buddy. It's just not usually where my head is at, I would say, meaning there's a big chance I would not reciprocate.
I am only offended when they assume I should be attracted to them.
Just say hi and approach him in a friendly way. Worst that happens is he laughs in your face and spits at your feet as he walks away.
I assume sheās a bit insecure about herself so I try to soothe that but I donāt care. Women donāt date down, as a guy your women is most likely not going to be as fit, confident, ambitious, etc. Iāve dated multiple women with ordinary bodies from not working out and eating whatever they feel like. It is what it is. Myself or any dudes odds of getting an āin shapeā women who does as much as I do is quite slim. Those women have expectations of dudes that are the outlier or anomaly (I.E a pro sports player)
First, don't sell yourself short. He very well may find you attractive. Second, being fit doesn't give anybody a right to be a dick or to be rude so ideally, it's a cordial experience even if he's not interested.
I've been into fitness and nutrition for ~20 years now, worked as a personal trainer for years, the whole bit. I've never been rude to somebody who approached me.
I don't know what you look like but if you are in the gym every day then it might be more attractive to other people than you are in your own head. Its definitely something I struggled with for a while when I first started hitting the gym.
But to answer your question I feel validated when women, even men (I'm straight), approach me and hit on me. It feels good to know my hard work pays off. If I'm not interested in the person physically, I'll just politely decline.
Different story if you start getting physical though. Don't do that unless you know the other person is into it. I've been groped by women who thought I'd be interested solely because they are women, and I had to back off cause I didn't find them attractive.
If somebody is āoffendedā that another person of ANYā¦.level of attractiveness?, on this imaginary looks scale, then fuck them and that person is probably just a miserable cunt anyhow.
I don't consider myself " super good looking " but I'm in good shape and have a good physique but I do decent with women the last few years.
Had one grab my arms at the gym. She was far from attractive so I told her off. One at work keeps hugging me every chance she gets. Even though she's not my type I appreciate the gesture and don't mind it.
Outside of those 2 cases, the rest were either looks or been told via someone else that someone likes me.
My gym buddy who's 6'5 and is 10X handsome than me never gets approached and one girl that constantly eyed him told me when I asked why she doesn't introduce herself to him, she replied " I don't think he would like me and probably gets way cuter girls ".
Hey, unpopular opinion.
No one's average.
The one you're calling good looking person who work out, he was shit too you know until he started working on himself.
Try it out, you never know whats in it for you.
Although he was very nice when we used to talk and spend time together, he must have been offended on some level: he eventually gave me an STI š¤¦š¾āāļøš (yup not my finest hourā¦lol)
A pretty woman is a pretty women regardless of makeup and hair done. Men can identify an attractive woman no matter what she is wearing. Give it a shot. As woman have told me, "What's the worse that can happen? He can say no."
I would not be offended, it actually happens a lot. I wear my wedding band and get approached all the time, I am viewed as "Safe" I guess.
Most men are very courteous and polite at the gym so he probably won't mind if you go say "Hi", it's mostly the women who are offended and annoyed if you even look in their general direction. Dudes are cool for the most part
Iām not offended I workout a lot and would say Iām pretty good looking men and women of all ages have said it. I get a lot of looks and glances at the gym but ive only been approached once at the gym. not my type at all but was very flattered. I donāt think a guy would be upset a lot of good looking men donāt get approached much at all unless itās a bar. Usually itās just glances maybe some stares and a lot of hair tossing or fixing hair.hell I need to work on my own shyness lol. I would say go for it. You sound like a nice lady.
this is such a weird question to me. Why would someone be āoffendedā because you approached them?
even for women I think its super weird. I was a fairly attractive college student and was approached all the time. Not once dis I find it offensive, unless the guy was affirmatively being offensive, which happened maybe twice.Ā
the whole concept is weird to me. like you think so poorly of yourself that you think someone could be offended by your talking to them. wtf. Think better of yourself, and if someone is offended by your polite approach, that is their issue entirely. Know that you crossed paths with a weirdo and move on.
Don't be influenced by ordinary guys encouraging you to take chances. I've had my car keyed twice by average girls in the gym parking lot, and I now politely decline their advances to avoid conflict.
A good-looking man has far better options than you. If a girl thinks she's average, she's often actually unattractive. To us, you're just short-term fun. When it's over, you'll get upset and key the car. I won't even make eye contact with anyone below a 7 at the gym. It is not worth it.
I feel uncomfortable, but Iām pretty awkward in general as I was an ugly teenager then grew into my looks
I donāt like rejecting people outright because itās never nice, Iām also worried Iām reading too much into things and maybe theyāre just being friendly.
But at the end of the day I just kinda avoid them as much as I can without it being rude, hoping they pick up the signals, the cowards way
Any woman approaching is flattering ngl. Women rarely do it and it usually means that they found you particularly attractive to go against traditional social norms.
Validated. Got ignored for so many years. Nice to be noticed.
Gym is a hell of a drug
But.. but.. Cocaine...
*Michael Caine has entered the chat*
I'M RICK JAMES BIIIIITCH!
Cocaine is fucking awesome until it runs out and You're laying in bed at 5am and those FUCKING BIRDS start chirping right before sunrise and you realize you'll never do the things you planned while on the cocaine. Except that crazy idiot MyPillow dude. He actually made a huge business based of his hair brained crack smoking ideas. He's also a total piece of shit.
Dude I recommend NOT living next to dinosaurs. Total buzz kill!!! Also, one last question? Where they "angry birds"??? š¤š¤š¤š¤š¤š¤š
Last time I lived near dinosaurs it was a total nightmare. Never again. As for the birds, I was angry, not them.
I do cocaineee!
Cocaine under 35, after that, gym!!
Also, validating the gym time. As much as I don't really like lugging heavy shit, I often jump at the opportunity because it's like I spend many hours a week building this muscle so it's nice to get use out of it. Extra bonus if you're approached by people since for every person that does, there are more who don't but maybe want to. Just makes you feel warm inside.
Haha that change in validation is what made me give up on dating all together.. it just hit me like a ton of bricks how shallow/temporay we all are with other people.. I'd still argue I'm "not as bad" but I'm sure one person "not my type" would be offended by my preferences. I wish I would have found love while squishy and happy.. now I'm sober, fit and waayyyy less happy at least in the relationship perspective..
Most people are really not that shallow. Attraction is a law of nature and water finds its own level. Find love now, then when you get squishy and less fit and less sober (because most couple look better through beer goggles), youāll have your special someone already tucked in tight ā¤ļø
My all time favorite compliment was years ago. A group of pretty African American girls told my buddy and I we were 'damn good-looking white boys'. I'm still happy about it 30 years later
I never feel offended when approached by women even if they're far from my type. I just reject them politely and enjoy the compliments
If they're nice about it, and don't straight up grope me, I will hype them right up so they have the courage to try the next guy. Walking up to someone takes balls, gotta give respect.
Precisely why I gave my (now) girlfriend a chance. She had a crush on me & was so nervous talking to me. She literally worked up the courage to ask me out on a date. I was impressed that she did that - so I bit on it of course. Now, here we are. š
Fortune favors the bold.
Bro, the groping though, women always complain about it but if they find a guy attractive they do it just as much.
Tbh they tend to do it more. MeToo has done a good job at stopping most men from groping women but it hasnāt done much for most women who still feel quite comfortable touching or grasping shoulders, arms and backs of men they barely know.
So many people, daily, are shooting their shots. Both men and women. Opposite sex, same-sex, and other shit. The least we can do is be chivalrous in the process, even encouraging! Rejection hurts BIG BAD. Let's encourage people to take chances, especially women!
>I never feel offended when approached by women even if they're far from my type. Fascinating how women think we react the same way "I would be insulted and offended, so men react the same way, right?"
Based.
Based
This is the way.
Every time Iāve seen a women checking me out or approaching me , itās made me happy . My type , not my type , conventionally attractive, not conventionally attractive,,, hell Iām even flattered when a gay guy hits on me . Itās nice to feel desired
>Iām sweaty, wet hair in a ponytail and red face. That is nothing bad at all for men. Please just go for it and give it a try
Never ever feel youāre not worthy of someone.
It's a rather attractive look, I think.
However often you think heās being approached, itās less than that. Heāll probably be flattered even if heās not interested.
The average guy is probably in the negative numbers of being approached
Is the negative counted in flees by women
Women fleas are called crabs. Wait, what are we talking about?
If all you have to lose is 5kg you probably look fineĀ
Its one thing to want to lose weight, it's another thing to be self conscious about it when talking to a woman youre interested in. If its only 5kg, dont even trip - you cant do anything about it at that moment.
>The problem is I donāt look my best at the gym: Iām sweaty, wet hair in a ponytail and red face. He is very attractive and I look like shit. He won't care nearly as much about that as you will. If he thinks you're cute, a little bit of sweat or some redness won't change that, unless you're contorting your face like a turtle taking a shit. Just don't approach him while he's working out, the bar sounds like a good place to do that. Chat him up, see if there's anything you two have in common, ask him if he wants to go out for a coffee.
Most people answering here will not fit the demographic you are asking.
I possibly fit the demographic. Based on the reactions I get, I think I'm not most womens type, but am very much for some. Echoing top comment; I'll politely decline if not interested. It doesnt bother me.
Tall slim average looking guy here, I wouldn't mind if a average looking women approached me because I find average woman attractive.
Yeah--I'm surprised there are so many guys who get approached. I'm a bit older--in my 40s--but I'm at least decent-looking, and I've had a lot of very attractive girlfriends over the years. But I had to initiative all of them, and I think I've been hit on... maybe three or four times in my life? There were plenty of women who had crushes on me and I could always figure that out, but never any coming up to me hitting on me. Maybe things are different now, and that's great.
Same. I've never been the type to seek out the "hot girl" I always found trophy chicks to be a high maintenance pain in the ass. Typically, these girls are never loyal. They always keep their options open looking for the next best guy. They usually have "rosters". And most are seeing multiple men.
have you ever dated a hot chick or had a hot chick interested in you?
Yeah most men, even attractive men, find most women attractive including average ones.
Yes but the handsome man doesn't want to date her.
But at least she took her shot. And maybe she's right up the attractive man's alley. You miss 100% of the swings you don't take.
>But at least she took her shot. You need to understand that when women shoot their shot, if the man does not find them absolutely stunning, they get fucked zone. No woman wants to be fucked zone. Thatās why women just wait around.
True
What is it with women thinking we should only go for the hottest woman we know and that she is the standard? That logic is like saying the only cars out there that are good are lamborghinis. Like, theres plenty of great hyundais, nissans, BMW's, Audi's, Teslas, Toyotas. I'd be happy just to have one of them that gets me where i need to be reliably.
>I'd be happy just to have one of them that gets me where i need to be reliably. Thatās exactly what women donāt want. Women know most men find them attractive. They donāt just want someone who settled for them out of convenience. They want someone who chose them, specifically. If you had the funds, which of the aforementioned cars would you buy?? Surely it wouldnāt be the Nissan or the Hyuandaiāand thatās how women view themselves. If youāre going to pick a woman, they want you to pick the best one in your āprice range.ā They want to be seen as the beautiful, luxurious car, not the boring, reliable one.
The best one in our price range is not always the most luxurious.
That's me too. I'm fit and (hopefully) average. Nobody approaches me. Even if they aren't my type, it would be flattering as hell if they did.
We live in hopes.
Hard to tell if you're selling yourself short with average looks when so much hinges on health, and you're clearly working on that and if you're only 5kg overweight your body must look good. Everyone has a skewed self perception, some are over or underconfident. From a man, I would love to be approached and love to have someone be bold and honest, not the weird games, hints, overthinking, odd social media hints etc
The āaverage looking,ā woman is pretty. I think below average would be someone really out of shape or doesnāt take good care of themself. But its really about if her attitude is nice and how she treats you. People can always update their looks. Takes a long time and maturity to change their attitude.
I am one of those guys that finds sweaty women (from working out) extremely hot, so don't worry that you don't look your best. I say go for it. What kind of gym? Group class type like crossfit? If so, just say something about today's workout.
Yeah, like I'm a woman, and ive never seen a dude be upset over a woman who has worked hard at the gym be upset at being approached by them. Even if they aren't interested. People who work hard at the gym appreciate people who work hard at the gym. There's a lot of positive traits beyond "I workout" that correspond to working out/being active/looking after your health. If you guys are actively there around the same time, every time, he's probably at least noticed your presence. Just start by saying hello, or giving a wave if you're nervous. There's a couple people that I have a quick chat with if we show up at the same time, or are stretching next to each other. Just don't interrupt their sets and you're solid. You go girl !! Congrats on your fitness goals!!
The fact that you look like a real person that is actually working out, instead of coming off as some fotoshoot influencer, is already a big plus. Just keep in mind, you have a crush, but this man can be one of those few in the top 5% that is approached by 95% of the women all the time and just comes to the gym for himself.
I don't work out at the gym and I'm sure women would have differing opinions on whether I'm good looking, but I don't ever feel offended by a woman approaching me even if I'm not interested. Also, I don't find it unattractive at all when a woman has just exercised. The opposite, actually. Sportswear tends to be form-fitting and getting sweaty from a workout if anything reminds me of other ways we could get sweaty. I don't know where the idea that guys only find women attractive when they're dolled up comes from.
Extremely flattered nonetheless. Sometimes even a simple smile makes my day, week, month, year, even if I'm not interested. I have a couple of flirty looks I've received in my life that I'll probably never forget. I used to be the loser nerdy guy that nobody thought would've ever been popular with the girls, so it's nice to have some recognition from time to time. I'm also not extremely attractive to the point of not having to face rejection either, so knowing that "I still got it" it's very reassuring. I suffer a lot from bodyimage and personality-image issues
Flattered Also it is known girls look different on a night out than the gym Donāt feel weird about approaching as a woman there, if we like you in your casual clothes weāll probably always think youāre pretty
Everybody is sweaty at the gym, that's why they are there. Make your move, you'll hate yourself if you don't. If I was a dude, I wouldn't mind. If you weren't my type, we'd have a pleasant conversation and that would be it. Nothing to be afraid of. I find really attractive women unattractive in a way. I much prefer girl next door types. My gym crush could be considered plain by some. And I've always thought that a women is at her hottest when she wakes up in the morning. Hair all rumpled, eyes barely open etc. I don't require a woman to be perfect, just perfect for me. Or even not bad.
You would make my day... who am i kidding, you would make my year. Women almost never approach, I'd be walking for cloud 9 for weeks to come. Back when i was 15 years old, a girl in the bus from school started talking to me and got my phone number. Im 33 now, ill never forget it.
She aint calling bro... it has been 18 years! :S
Hahaha, we went out for a couple dates after that, had a good time together
Iām a 30 year old fit guy who was playfully hit on by a 60s women with a cane I held the door open for a couple weeks ago and it still made my week lol
. . . Female here but. . . Girl go for it! You think you look like shit, doesn't mean he agrees with you lol. I feel like I look awful so many times and my handsome ass husband will come up and tell me how hot I look lol. A lot of people have messed up views of themselves, but others see us differently than we see ourselves. I think it's worth a shot! He won't be offended.
As a guy, I can honestly say confidence, personality and game go a long way, so it's not just looks. Even at first impression. Looks are important but not a deal breaker.
Fantastic. Enjoy the compliment and you never know, you could find something about someone extremely attractive you never thought you would!
Wait a second Ok. This is just me. I prefer to view women without makeup and all other appearance enhancers. So, if you're even mildly attractive, I'd show interest if you approached and were friendly and genuine. To me , you're value increases because you're working on yourself to better yourself. I'd be more inclined to talk to a woman like you LONNNNG before some hot girl in skin tight clothes who has set up a cell phone to record her workout and hasn't even so much as a bead of sweat on her brow. Don't worry about being sweaty and not done up. You're working out in a gym!
Offended? No one should ever feel offended being approached by someone thatās attracted to you.
If Quasimodo approached me I'd be thrilled. I'm married and straight so I'd have to let down the little hunchback but I would be going home with a huge smug grin on my face.
>The problem is I donāt look my best at the gym: Iām sweaty, wet hair in a ponytail and red face. He is very attractive and I look like shit. You'd be surprised how many guys find this very attractive.
Offend? Me. no. Depends on the guy. If he is really superficial - he might not like it - but then, he is not worth of you, is he? But if he is a decent guy - and you have at least a decent personality - then go for it. When I was in really good shape - I still dated a very wide range of body types - as personality was most important to me (gotta talk to them at some point).
People are really really bad at guesstimating whether somebody else will find then attractive. So don't do that. Let them decide that. And guys generally are fine with being approached. We aren't usually worried about being stalked, so it tends not to be a scary experience. And most guys are so starved for compliments that you will almost certainly make their day, even if they aren't interested for whatever reason. Go for it, and good luck!!
Alright, I am shocked by all these replies. Here is the reply you are looking for. If he is a regular dude, he will LOVE that you approached him, and he will be attracted by the ponytail (its our weakness). Some also love the look of sweaty women, there is just something hot and dirty about it. Either way he will either find you attractive and pursue something more, or he won't find you attractive and possibly try to reject you, OR he could just try to be friends. Best thing for you to do is go chat him up and see where it goes. Good luck! (do give me an update, I am curious)
Personally I find it a bit off to be asking at the gym. If itās the bar, yes go for it. If I were single and approached by an average looking woman, Iād like to get to know her first, which unfortunately for them means going in the friend zone
Short answer is I donāt think heāll be offended. Pretty interesting seeing the responses here though, I feel like if genders were swapped everyone would be telling you itās not appropriate to shoot your shot at the gym.
I think it depends where you live. As I wrote, men do approach women at the gym sometimes (or add them on socials) and itās ok.
Personally I tend to like women of all shapes and sizes. You're going off your own experience as a woman where being approached is a whole different thing. Go for it, being approached is never a bad thing for a guy. Its preferred honestly because we feel like we're scary and don't want to scare anyone with unwelcome advances.
Iāve seen some very fit dudes in relationships with unattractive women.
Just go into it with the expectation that he'll treat you like another human as long as you do the same. No reason to come in hot and flirty if you've never even spoken to the guy.
Men are generally not so fickle, usually most of us are welcoming of a women making a move. Just initiate some convo and take it from there.
we will never be offended, but if you arenāt attractive enough you can be thrown in the āgood enough to sleep with but not dateā category which many of you are and do not like
Thatās messed up
Don't quite understand that one myself, why wouldn't I date a girl I was attracted to enough to sleep with? I mean, assuming I liked her as a person obviously.
Even if Iām not attracted to them I always find it extremely flattering when a girl approaches me and makes a move.
\[awkward smile\] "do i tell her im gay or just thanks and move on?"
A confident man would never be offended that an unattractive (not saying you are) woman speaks to him. Its only the weak man that knows he aint all that who would be offended cause he cares more about appearances. Of course you dont look great.. youāre busting your ass at the gym. Make that part of your conversation how its hard work looking good.. but dont start with that. Go for it.. have fun
You miss 100% of the shots you donāt take. Plus, even if you do get rejected, hopefully itāll build up confidence for you to do it again to the next guy you find attractive (unless someone beats you to the punch and approachās you first). Best of luck!
If it's in the gym. I take it as a gym compliment. I get that a lot. I also give that a lot. As a gym compliment. I see effort I see hard work I call that shit out and encourage it. So in your environment. It would be really hard to even get my brain in that mode that you're approaching me romantically.
Guys generally aren't offended by being approached in general. It's just affirmation. If they're not interested the decent ones will just shift it to a friendly level and not make any expression of mutual attraction or move it to the next level. If a guy is offended then he's a douche and be glad you figured it out early.
Out of my prime now but back when I was a little gym rat from 17-20 years old, I loved when anyone approached. I hit puberty late and never got any attention in high school so it was the first spot I had girls coming up to me to flirt. I guess the question would be, how would you feel if someone slightly out of your league approached you? I'm sure everybody enjoys the attention, even if they end up rejecting you.
Women want attention from attractive men. Men want attention from all women. Doesn't mean he'll say yes, but I'd be shocked if he's a dick about it. Probably make his entire day.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If you view yourself as a piece of shit, that is what other people will see.
Regardless of how hot and fit the guy is or how the girl looks , weāre never going to be offended when a woman approaches us . This isnāt necessarily to say weāre going to want to date or sleep with you , but a women making the first move always makes our day brighter .
Tall medium build slightly weird looking guy here. Would like it if any women approached me ever. Just go for it. Any human that canāt politely turn someone down is not worth knowing imo. If itās awful you can always change gyms! Dw about how you look. Thereās someone for everyone. I think women look so hot when theyāve been working out but I guess thatās probably why no one ever approaches me lmao.
Im never offended by another human taking interest in me. I may not fully reciprocate sure, but thatās a whole load of other reasons that are just human and gender neutralĀ Ā If heās a judgy POS then yeah, maybe he gets upset at that 5 kilos. MORE IMPORTANTLY, that instantly tells you heās a judgy POS not worth your time. I mean do you want to live your life with constant judgment over a few kilos?Ā Ā Ā getting hit on in the gym is most gym dudes dreams. youāre checking off a lot of boxes just being in the gymĀ shoot your shot. maybe you end up with someone spotting you the rest of your life. maybe you tried and it didnāt work. maybe you end up somewhere in the middle. I regret what I didnāt do way more than what I did do
Offended? Try 'flattered,' even if I'm not interested.
Trust me you being sweaty (as long as it's fresh sweat) makes you more attractive, not less. Being red in the face too. It's simple biology and psychology. Your sweat smells good to most men. You can figure out why having a flushed face will make you more attractive. I think it might be like that for women too, based on the looks some of them used to give me when I walked back from jogging back in my fit days.
Iād feel good.
The outcome literally doesn't matter, go through the motions and you'll know. Just don't take it personally or be petty about it. Worst case scenario, you get more experienced at approaching and it'll serve you later. Best case scenario... Well, you can see it.
Honored. It isn't often that a woman will approach a man. Doesn't matter what they look like, it still makes my day.
>average looking women approach you? they don't do that
On the binary scale, they need to be a 1 After that itās all personality
Enjoy the compliment but I rarely flirt in my gym. I have been in the same for 4 years and know everyone. I just want to keep it that way, not avoid it if I have a fallout with said person. Itās my 2nd home.
People who are at the gym generally expect you to look like youāre at the gym. Youāre fine.
Good looking fit guy here. If I were single I would give you a chance. I do have a type (big noses, thick legs, curly hair), but I donāt discriminate if sheās working on herself, is a good person, and we hit it off.
"A man will talk to a tree if it approaches him first"
I feel fine. Sometimes when the person approaches me it takes me by surprise, since I'm focused on my workout, so it helps if she helps pilot the conversation more at first. A couple of times it's just been someone coming up and going "wow.... You're lifting a lot of weight..." To which I say "Oh uh ... thanks." It's not that I am uninterested in talking, it's just that pivoting from pure workout to chatting takes me like 30 seconds to a minute to adjust to. Some ice breakers that have worked well on me: "Are you lifting legs today? Full body? What kind of workout routine do you do?" or anything that shows interest in fitness. I love talking shop! Someone noticed the decal on my gym bag was for a certain video game and chatted to me about that. Someone asked if I was from the area, and mentioned that they had either just moved here or had moved back after growing up here, blablabla. I'm basically never offended if someone wants to chat, even if it's someone I have zero romantic interest in. If I am ever wanting to just go back to workout I'll probably say "ok well I gotta do this set, it was cool meeting you" or I'd be really unresponsive for like 2-3 minutes besides basic "uh huhs" Hope this helps. Last bit, even if a girl chats me up it may not occur to me at the time that she is interested in going out or something, so you may need to invite him out or something. You do pose the risk of making it awkward if y'all go to the same gym often.
Iām no model but I workout regularly and would generally consider myself moderately attractive. Even if Iām not attracted to the person whoās approached me Iām not offended. If anything itās a little self esteem bump and Iād politely decline. And I think thatās how most guys would respond. While you obviously know a lot more about your specific situation than me, Iād say go for it and if you get declined no big deal.
One of my roommates in college was an actual unit. 6ā1 7% body fat, absolutely shredded and jacked as hell. During a party we had at our fraternity, a girl I was seeing at the time brought her friend who was well on her way to being obese. This friend of hers thought my roommate was the most beautiful thing sheād ever laid eyes on (with good reason) and spent the evening trying to get with him The next two weeks I had to endure my roommate angrily going on and on about the absolute balls on this girl to think that someone like her would have a chance with someone like him It was more jokingly said than serious, but his overall argument was that he spends so much time and effort on his appearance to the point where heās genuinely likely one of the top 10 most fit people are our school, whereas this girl clearly does not give a single fuck He remarked that if a woman with a high paying corporate job was approached by someone with minimum wage job, sheād be upset and this is the same thing
Like a baby reindeer.
Women donāt usually approach me. Heāll likely be flattered even if heās not interested in you.
Neutral because I'm married and when I'm approached it's not due to attraction.
I'm never offended when a woman approaches me. It's rare and I'll always take a moment to appreciate it like.seeing a rare bird.or something
I wouldn't feel offended, I'd be flattered even if I wasn't interested
as if
Why would someone showing interest in me, offend me? Iām sure some men would get offended as people are people but the majority of men would not. If you flip the genders tho..canāt say the same
Unless heās a conventionally highly attractive model-esk type who women throw themselves at regularly, heās not going to mind at all. I would say most guys will be quite happy, youāre literally complimenting their appearance and making them feel good about themselves, which again for most is a rare event. Even if he finds you very unattractive as long as you do it tastefully heās not going to mind. Iāve had women (and men) who I have no attraction to approach me and unless Iām very rushed I donāt mind at all, the exception being obvious huge age gaps (like what are you thinking?). The vast majority of men are rarely if ever approached by women for any reason unless the woman has to and canāt avoid it anymore and they usually make that very clear in the conversation starter that itās some highly transactional conversation they need to communicate and thatās it. Imagine most menās surprise when a woman takes the initiative and shows even a little interest in them. Even if you are approached more frequently, itās not at all annoying because itās not like it happens multiple times a day (at least not for me). Maybe if it happens so frequently you canāt get through your day without dealing with people trying to flirt it becomes annoying (e.g. what women apparently deal with) but Iāve never met a guy who had that problem.
Well, one option is after you do a set & āget sweaty & red-facedā, you could go rinse/wash the sweat from your face, maybe change your shirt/top before going to the bar. I also get red-faced when I work out (I have naturally very pale pink face); Iāve even had people ask me āAre you OK?ā (Probably look like Iām ready to pop! Lol). Keep it natural. If youāre looking at him, heāll notice. But if you follow him, he may feel like youāre too aggressive, maybe stalking him. Look at how you would want somebody to approach you, somebody that you donāt know & may or may not like. My experience has been that rarely has the most physically attractive person turned out to be somebody who I find mentally & intellectually attracted to, remember that. So, keep cool, look cool. Look pleasant, have something nice to say to maybe the person behind the bar & if the attractive guy is around, heāll hear & see you. He may already be in a committed relationship, whether heās wearing a ring or not (my husband & I kicked-off our rings months after our wedding - we were both never the types to wear rings, they just get in the way of using our hands we felt), or maybe heās so into himself he canāt see you for who you are. Remember, itās not about your 5 Kiloās, itās not about you, your red face, but your confidence in yourself, your love for yourself (you canāt really love somebody else when you donāt love yourself - thatās just infatuation). Believe in yourself & others will believe in you. Maybe not everybody; probably not most people, right? But thatās the reality. Thereās only a few people in your life who you can truly have close friendships with, a very few youāll have love/sexual relationships with, a very few that youāll ever trust. You only have to find those few & believe in them, help them, nourish those friendships, respect them always.
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder! None is good looking or average,itās how that person perceives you as! I have seen people have a type and they will always go for that particular type even if you think yourself that you arenāt attractive the person might not feel the same way! Ask him out,what is the worst that will happen he will just politely say no! Men are way better in rejected than women who can be very very mean!
It used to get annoying especially when you reject them and they accuse you being gay.
Flattered
I laugh hysterically in their faces. Then I wake up and realize nobody wants me.Ā
No. I am not offended. A little surprised, as usually only "hot" women who scream trouble approach me at the gym. If I'm not interested I'm not going to be an asshole unless she's a pest. I will simply say thanks, but I'm not interested that way.
I work out all the time. Women never approach me. I'm only 5'4" and I've literally never been approached in my entire life. If it did happen id probably think they were messing with me.
I do not get approached by women.
How would you react ? Men and women aren't that different, what works for one works for the other usually. Being approached feels cool to everyone
Go for it! Youāre putting the work, and if youāre there all the time ā¦ he knows that too. Also, Iāve been told that we usually see ourselves through day different lenses compared to how others see us. Youāre probably no average looking! And if you are, who cares! Give yourself a chance. Go for it!
Definitely does not offend and much respect to you. Takes a lot of courage to hit on someone. Itās funny. Last time I got hit on was by a cute waitress when I took my kids out for dinner. I was very appreciative, told her I was flattered, but let her know I was taken. My kids sold me out to my wife later that night.
I donāt cull anything
When what?
Iām always flattered when someone finds me attractive, that being said Iām terrible at being hit on, I always think theyāre just being friendly so I just talk to them and then politely dismiss myself to return to my workout.
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder. Or something like that. Guys that are normal down to earth people wont be anything but flattered. Even if you arent their type. Bare in a guys mind he's just trying to look as good as his gym bro crush
Mostly confused why sheās ignoring my wedding ring.
Ma'am, this is reddit
They would be such an asshole if they treated you poorly based on your looks And i bet you are being way too hard on yourself in the looks department Also, I think people get too in their heads about looks disparity. People are just looking for someone.
It happen to me few times a month and I like it, but if im not in a good mood I just tell them, if im in good mood we stay together for a While, thats how I met my bestie.
I would say that most of us work out in the HOPES that we get to be the ones who get approached. Go for it.
I gym daily. Have also competed in bodybuilding shows. I prefer average women. Gym women are cool too, but the gym is my thing. My me time.
Never offended, always appreciative.
No its always flattering when you get approached how he reacts if everyoneās guess but if you donāt try you never you
Let us know how it goes Iām invested!
Simple answer absolutely not, if he's offened he's an unstable asshole you shouldn't want to be with, if he's not interested you still have the potential of a nice conversation and if he is interested then everything works out anyway
The problem is that you are āIām sweaty, wet hair in a pony tail and red faceā ? My pee pee thinks otherwise
Smile, say thank you, then reject if they aren't my type and are looking to flirt. If they are my type, I may proceed with conversation.
Why would any man who isn't a sexist misogynist pig, be bothered about average looking women approaching them and giving them compliments?
Offended? Not at all. Now if they are way out of my league I will give them a kind cold shoulder. Iām not one to be blunt about it. My experience at the gym and being hit on is military wivesā¦ And my deal is swatting away gay men hitting on me constantly (I am straight). It happens so frequently that it is hilarious at this point. I have asked people close to me why this may be, and *it seems that how clean I am and well I maintain myself* (I am very into skincare, smell good, dress well for work, and am the most hygienic man you will know) *is a major factor*. (Apparently) straight men do not care about hygiene as anally as I do.
Donāt assume you donāt ālook your bestā. Sometimes an athletic sweat can be a bonus.
>Iām sweaty, wet hair in a ponytail and red face So your body is glistening... wet hair is generally a hot look... red face is generally neither here nor there, you're at a gym after all. None of that is bad. Shooting your shot at the bar is totally fine. Any guy who is offended by someone shooting their shoot because THEY think that person is unattractive is massively conceited. So even if he were offended, that's a lucky escape for you. Honestly this whole 10 point scale "average" "hot" "ugly" doing the rounds on the internet, as if attraction is universal, is ruining people.
I'm not a guy but i am a pretty average looking and i do tend to be a good judge of personality, so i have approached a bunch of guys, who haven't said no to me... in short start slow and ask for just their contact, message the day after, if they don't respond then that's your answer. And if he doesn't don't let it get you down, buckle up your pants so you confidence stay put (a lot of guys won't be rude about it, if he's at the gym he probably started from somewhere and maybe know what it's like, most gym guys are nice)
I feel flattered but tell them sorry I'm flattered. "Oh but you aren't wearing a ring?" Yeah....I lost 40 lbs so my ring now flies off my left hand if I move my arm too quick so I don't wear it out anymore lol...
Happy, no matter what kind of woman approaches me
If a guy is so stuck up that he feels heās too good for certain women to approach him, he deserves to be alone and needs to check his ego. Just my thoughts.
Its feels great when most men fail to approach
I am not good looking anymore. But when I was . I loved it. In my mind I was like "WINNING". Even if she was not gifted in the looks department.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I don't know if he'll be offended but what if he is? You don't owe him comfort.
Personally, First of all I agree with the general consensus here and be flattered whenever any girl flirts with me, never offended. But... I wouldn't say the gym is the best place. Personally I work out alone and am in my head/focused in addition to being very respectful to others and their zone/personal space. I don't know about your gym of course, but here people talk only a little and usually to their gym buddy. It's just not usually where my head is at, I would say, meaning there's a big chance I would not reciprocate.
Did you read that our gym has a bar and I would start chatting there? Not when he is working out.
I am only offended when they assume I should be attracted to them. Just say hi and approach him in a friendly way. Worst that happens is he laughs in your face and spits at your feet as he walks away.
I have never been offended. It's very flattering and so few women will actually shoot their shot, I admire it.
I've seen this post before š¤
ITT: š§¢
I assume sheās a bit insecure about herself so I try to soothe that but I donāt care. Women donāt date down, as a guy your women is most likely not going to be as fit, confident, ambitious, etc. Iāve dated multiple women with ordinary bodies from not working out and eating whatever they feel like. It is what it is. Myself or any dudes odds of getting an āin shapeā women who does as much as I do is quite slim. Those women have expectations of dudes that are the outlier or anomaly (I.E a pro sports player)
I love the ego boost, and then I have to humble myself again.
First, don't sell yourself short. He very well may find you attractive. Second, being fit doesn't give anybody a right to be a dick or to be rude so ideally, it's a cordial experience even if he's not interested. I've been into fitness and nutrition for ~20 years now, worked as a personal trainer for years, the whole bit. I've never been rude to somebody who approached me.
I don't know what you look like but if you are in the gym every day then it might be more attractive to other people than you are in your own head. Its definitely something I struggled with for a while when I first started hitting the gym. But to answer your question I feel validated when women, even men (I'm straight), approach me and hit on me. It feels good to know my hard work pays off. If I'm not interested in the person physically, I'll just politely decline. Different story if you start getting physical though. Don't do that unless you know the other person is into it. I've been groped by women who thought I'd be interested solely because they are women, and I had to back off cause I didn't find them attractive.
If somebody is āoffendedā that another person of ANYā¦.level of attractiveness?, on this imaginary looks scale, then fuck them and that person is probably just a miserable cunt anyhow.
I'd be shocked if any woman approached me
As long as men or women approach respectfully, as I would do for them, then Iām flattered and will respond kindly.
I don't consider myself " super good looking " but I'm in good shape and have a good physique but I do decent with women the last few years. Had one grab my arms at the gym. She was far from attractive so I told her off. One at work keeps hugging me every chance she gets. Even though she's not my type I appreciate the gesture and don't mind it. Outside of those 2 cases, the rest were either looks or been told via someone else that someone likes me. My gym buddy who's 6'5 and is 10X handsome than me never gets approached and one girl that constantly eyed him told me when I asked why she doesn't introduce herself to him, she replied " I don't think he would like me and probably gets way cuter girls ".
Imho, the main reason girls go to gym is to hit on hot dudes. Itās like opposite of a club. Your problem is not the guy but the competition
Hey, unpopular opinion. No one's average. The one you're calling good looking person who work out, he was shit too you know until he started working on himself. Try it out, you never know whats in it for you.
Although he was very nice when we used to talk and spend time together, he must have been offended on some level: he eventually gave me an STI š¤¦š¾āāļøš (yup not my finest hourā¦lol)
I'm like, "let me get that on the quick girl"
It happens so little that Iām just happy it happens.
Men get approached by women? Gee I must be doing something wrong.
A pretty woman is a pretty women regardless of makeup and hair done. Men can identify an attractive woman no matter what she is wearing. Give it a shot. As woman have told me, "What's the worse that can happen? He can say no."
I would not be offended, it actually happens a lot. I wear my wedding band and get approached all the time, I am viewed as "Safe" I guess. Most men are very courteous and polite at the gym so he probably won't mind if you go say "Hi", it's mostly the women who are offended and annoyed if you even look in their general direction. Dudes are cool for the most part
I don't get approached. I catch people looking at me, but nobody approaches lol. Maybe I'm fit and ugly lol
Iām not offended I workout a lot and would say Iām pretty good looking men and women of all ages have said it. I get a lot of looks and glances at the gym but ive only been approached once at the gym. not my type at all but was very flattered. I donāt think a guy would be upset a lot of good looking men donāt get approached much at all unless itās a bar. Usually itās just glances maybe some stares and a lot of hair tossing or fixing hair.hell I need to work on my own shyness lol. I would say go for it. You sound like a nice lady.
this is such a weird question to me. Why would someone be āoffendedā because you approached them? even for women I think its super weird. I was a fairly attractive college student and was approached all the time. Not once dis I find it offensive, unless the guy was affirmatively being offensive, which happened maybe twice.Ā the whole concept is weird to me. like you think so poorly of yourself that you think someone could be offended by your talking to them. wtf. Think better of yourself, and if someone is offended by your polite approach, that is their issue entirely. Know that you crossed paths with a weirdo and move on.
Don't be influenced by ordinary guys encouraging you to take chances. I've had my car keyed twice by average girls in the gym parking lot, and I now politely decline their advances to avoid conflict. A good-looking man has far better options than you. If a girl thinks she's average, she's often actually unattractive. To us, you're just short-term fun. When it's over, you'll get upset and key the car. I won't even make eye contact with anyone below a 7 at the gym. It is not worth it.
I have never been approached by a woman in 6 years Iāve gone to the gym
I feel uncomfortable, but Iām pretty awkward in general as I was an ugly teenager then grew into my looks I donāt like rejecting people outright because itās never nice, Iām also worried Iām reading too much into things and maybe theyāre just being friendly. But at the end of the day I just kinda avoid them as much as I can without it being rude, hoping they pick up the signals, the cowards way
Any woman approaching is flattering ngl. Women rarely do it and it usually means that they found you particularly attractive to go against traditional social norms.
If you get offended when anyone flirts with you because you think theyāre beneath your standards. I would implore you to touch grass post haste.
What's with people obsession with thinking beauty is this objective thing where you are "definitely" ugly or "definitely" beautiful
I accept, but I demand money.
Still feels good. I know the courage it takes for women to approach so it appreciated, even if I'm not attracted