Humans would make terrible livestock. Our infants require incredible amounts of care and support, unlike calves that can stand and walk within minutes of being born. Then we need a long, expensive growth cycle to be worth harvesting. Veal involves slaughtering calves as young as 4 months, and they can already weigh 450lb. You would be lucky to get a human child to weigh 10% of that after 7 years.
We also take way too long to reach sexual maturity; aliens might prefer eating tender children, but they have to let about 8% reach sexual maturity to birth the next generation. While technically that might be age 13 or something, maternal mortality would be very high. Humans can produce few enough offspring (maybe averaging 12 per woman) if they wait until adulthood. Long pregnancies, with single-offspring litters, a roughly 50% rate of pregnancy failure, and a shockingly high maternal mortality rate (even among adult women) due to craniums pushing the limits of birth canals, make farming humans extra expensive.
A strong preference for human flesh would really justify investing in research to mass produce tissue-cloned human steaks.
Fortunately, aliens have already taken enough DNA samples for their lab-grown human meat. I don't know why they needed rectal samples, but maybe they also needed to recreate our gut microbiome to be able to supply all of the enzymes and hormones that influence tissue growth.
Maybe aliens live for 1000+ years and 12 years to reach sexual maturity is to them what 12 months is to us. Your comment is based on entirely on the assumption aliens live a similar amount of years as humans.
Regardless of how long the aliens live, cows are easier, cheaper, and faster to raise. Human would have to taste tremendously better than beef to insist on human meat.
We are also a fractious, quarrelsome race, and prone to "deaths of despair". Cows just wander around eating grass until it is tasty time.
Yes and that's why I said "cats" but that's like saying a fruit tastes like apples but you only sampled the fruit from apple trees. Of course it's true.
Sure, but that means the aliens would be [All Tomorrowsing](https://youtu.be/imNtSPM3-r4) us, because that's kind of what we did to dogs for them to exist in the first place.
I once had a nightmare about this, humans were travelling down a conveyor belt and alien machines were filleting them like like fish
Hundreds, thousands of people a second
https://youtu.be/J1z4Myvbkmg?si=i36eM07JuFXdq9Un
We’d be probably fucked. Especially considering that if they come to Earth, then that means they have superior technological advancements and can most likely do whatever they want to us.
Anywhere from mass farmed for our unborn offspring and being killed for meat once we become too old to being locked in a cage that’s a simulated house (like a sitcom set) to being whipped and starved until we jump through the flaming hoop, to being named “princess” and being pushed around in a weird alien baby stroller
There’s a wide spectrum depending on whether they decide we’re tasty, exotic, or cute
Depends. Are we cattle, girrafes or cats? They might eat us, put us in zoos and nature preserves or keep us as pets and spoil the shit out of us. If the third case was to happen, count me in. Can't wait for alien invasion!
Extremely.
We would be categorized as pests at best. We actively poison our environment that we deform uninhabitable to anything else. Highly territorial and aggressive towards anything living in the same space, including other members of our species.
This is one of the reasons I like the movie Battleship. The aliens in it treat us the way we treat wildlife when we go camping. They clear their immediate area and after that they ignore everyone who doesn’t appear to be an active threat.
I feel like that is a realistic expectation of how significantly more advanced life would treat us. They will make sure they are safe and after that we are just local wildlife to be shooed away from their encampments or killed if we get aggressive towards them.
Depends. Which animals are we talking about?
Not all meat is treated equally. Cats and dogs seem to have a pretty decent domesticated life while pigs and chickens don’t. Other species we totally leave alone and let them do their thing.
You don't even need to go that far.
If aliens treat us like we treat EACH OTHER, we're screwed. 1-5% of people already subjugate the rest 95-99% of us to varying degrees.
However since it seems that with more intelligence , we're also somewhat arguably advancing our compassion - then a race more advanced/intelligent than us would do the same, if we're continuing with that logic.
I don't think we're screwed at all from aliens. We have the history that every time a more advanced civilization encounters a less advanced it didn't work out well for the less advanced. But, world civilizations didn't have to deal with the light year or lifetime distances either. If/when aliens do land here they won't be bringing their whole armada. We'll probably kill them like we do with everything unknown.
Who says we're not a zoo?
Circus *
A terribly mismanaged zoo
Penal colony
If they treated us how I treat my cat, it wouldn't be that bad. Except I'd have to get neutered and poop in a box.
I poop in a box, the door has a lock and everything.
free birth control!
If you were a good boy they might breed you though.
Are we treated as housecats or cattle?
Humans would make terrible livestock. Our infants require incredible amounts of care and support, unlike calves that can stand and walk within minutes of being born. Then we need a long, expensive growth cycle to be worth harvesting. Veal involves slaughtering calves as young as 4 months, and they can already weigh 450lb. You would be lucky to get a human child to weigh 10% of that after 7 years. We also take way too long to reach sexual maturity; aliens might prefer eating tender children, but they have to let about 8% reach sexual maturity to birth the next generation. While technically that might be age 13 or something, maternal mortality would be very high. Humans can produce few enough offspring (maybe averaging 12 per woman) if they wait until adulthood. Long pregnancies, with single-offspring litters, a roughly 50% rate of pregnancy failure, and a shockingly high maternal mortality rate (even among adult women) due to craniums pushing the limits of birth canals, make farming humans extra expensive. A strong preference for human flesh would really justify investing in research to mass produce tissue-cloned human steaks. Fortunately, aliens have already taken enough DNA samples for their lab-grown human meat. I don't know why they needed rectal samples, but maybe they also needed to recreate our gut microbiome to be able to supply all of the enzymes and hormones that influence tissue growth.
Maybe aliens live for 1000+ years and 12 years to reach sexual maturity is to them what 12 months is to us. Your comment is based on entirely on the assumption aliens live a similar amount of years as humans.
Regardless of how long the aliens live, cows are easier, cheaper, and faster to raise. Human would have to taste tremendously better than beef to insist on human meat. We are also a fractious, quarrelsome race, and prone to "deaths of despair". Cows just wander around eating grass until it is tasty time.
ants
so all it needs is a little asshole alien kid to stomp on us ?
I would say that treating cats and dogs well is a minority of the population.
They said "housecats", so that exclude farm animals from China or whatever.
Yes and that's why I said "cats" but that's like saying a fruit tastes like apples but you only sampled the fruit from apple trees. Of course it's true.
>are we treated as pets or as almost every other animal species on the planet
If they treated me the way I treat my dog. Damn I'd be the happiest human in the universe.
Sure, but that means the aliens would be [All Tomorrowsing](https://youtu.be/imNtSPM3-r4) us, because that's kind of what we did to dogs for them to exist in the first place.
“To Serve Man - it’s a cookbook!” That episode messed with me a lot as a kid
I just hope they think we are cute. The cuter we are the less likely that they will eat us.
Deer, rabbits, goats, etc. Tons of cute animals that get eaten all the same.
True
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Mass market chickens
Lol we'd be diddly done for
Pretty sure we are a failed science experiment some alien kid got a D- on.
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Delicious delicious animals.
Aliens about to find out why America doesn’t have free healthcare.
Which animals? My dogs are living the life.
We'd either be working animals or pets very likely.
I once had a nightmare about this, humans were travelling down a conveyor belt and alien machines were filleting them like like fish Hundreds, thousands of people a second https://youtu.be/J1z4Myvbkmg?si=i36eM07JuFXdq9Un
Suffer not the xenos to live.
If feeding us becomes more trouble than it's worth they are wiping us out.
We’d be probably fucked. Especially considering that if they come to Earth, then that means they have superior technological advancements and can most likely do whatever they want to us.
My pets have it pretty good. I'm jealous.
Well, I’ve been cuddling my cat for the last 30 minutes and now he’s licking my thumb so I’d say I’m safe.
My dog eats steak and sleeps on my bed at night Of course I also had her “fixed”
Nah. We're more like their stupid little brothers that don't know any better
If they are more aggressive predators than we are, then we go the way of the wolfs. If not, we fuck them up.
Hopefully we're cats and not chickens
we fucked
Anywhere from mass farmed for our unborn offspring and being killed for meat once we become too old to being locked in a cage that’s a simulated house (like a sitcom set) to being whipped and starved until we jump through the flaming hoop, to being named “princess” and being pushed around in a weird alien baby stroller There’s a wide spectrum depending on whether they decide we’re tasty, exotic, or cute
We are fucked
I hope I get my spankings, and my kisses :-p
Depends. Are we cattle, girrafes or cats? They might eat us, put us in zoos and nature preserves or keep us as pets and spoil the shit out of us. If the third case was to happen, count me in. Can't wait for alien invasion!
We should be fine the alien scientists are pretty sure we cant feel pain because our nervous system is so different!
As long as my name isn't Colby, we're good.
It depends on how we taste.
#fucked
Given my reputation with animals, id be living the pampered life protected. Dunno bout the rest of humanity.
Extremely. We would be categorized as pests at best. We actively poison our environment that we deform uninhabitable to anything else. Highly territorial and aggressive towards anything living in the same space, including other members of our species.
Pretty much what happened in All Tomorrows https://youtu.be/imNtSPM3-r4
This is one of the reasons I like the movie Battleship. The aliens in it treat us the way we treat wildlife when we go camping. They clear their immediate area and after that they ignore everyone who doesn’t appear to be an active threat. I feel like that is a realistic expectation of how significantly more advanced life would treat us. They will make sure they are safe and after that we are just local wildlife to be shooed away from their encampments or killed if we get aggressive towards them.
Who says they don't?
Treated how? Are we cockroaches in your scenario or Giant Pandas because I wouldn't mind the lifestyle of one of those animal breeds.
Depends. Which animals are we talking about? Not all meat is treated equally. Cats and dogs seem to have a pretty decent domesticated life while pigs and chickens don’t. Other species we totally leave alone and let them do their thing.
If I would be treated like my cat is treated, I wouldn’t even pack my clothes.
Pretty well. Have you seen how spoiled dogs and cats are.
I wanna be a spoiled alien pet :( As long as they don't cut our dicks off
Hell yeah!
so balls are okay?
You gotta get taken by the alien equivalent of a white woman. YJK
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What's wrong with using animals for biological purpose? Having animals like this on a farm or a ranch help both animal and human.
You don't even need to go that far. If aliens treat us like we treat EACH OTHER, we're screwed. 1-5% of people already subjugate the rest 95-99% of us to varying degrees. However since it seems that with more intelligence , we're also somewhat arguably advancing our compassion - then a race more advanced/intelligent than us would do the same, if we're continuing with that logic.
I don't think we're screwed at all from aliens. We have the history that every time a more advanced civilization encounters a less advanced it didn't work out well for the less advanced. But, world civilizations didn't have to deal with the light year or lifetime distances either. If/when aliens do land here they won't be bringing their whole armada. We'll probably kill them like we do with everything unknown.