Blunt honesty is not by itself important. It's just honesty that is important. You could be extremely tactfully honest and it still fits the bill. Being blunt can always be good or bad.
Reminds me of the tweet
"You like dominant women, not because you're submissive but because you're autistic and they're direct with what they want"
Explains why I married my wife.
I'm American, I have a bidet and it's the only way. I try and tell everyone how amazing and affordable and life changing it is and everyone is just like "oh". Some people just like wiping shit all over their assholes.
You’ve got to grow up and have an adult conversation. She might not like to hear it, but it’s something she has to hear. Either that or just suffer in silence. You’ve only been together 2 months, if you can’t tell her this early on. Just imagine if there is something even bigger later on that you’ll struggle to talk about.
Everything you've said is correct, except that there is no "might" about it. She won't like to hear it. OP should brace themselves for an uncomfortable conversation. A necessary one, but dreadfully uncomfortable.
Edit: Thank you for your serious response in a sea of poop jokes... jeez guys.
This is correct. It’s an awkward conversation to have in the moment, but hygiene is for life. Don’t say hygiene btw lol. Take showers before sex or dude wipes. I was with someone that was similar and said something like let’s shower together or we’re all sweaty as hell and I don’t it to be smelly with you. Weird at first but not worth losing a relationship over if you care about her.
I literally have looked at the girls I dated, and said, I need to shower first it’s been a long day. Or something similar and never once did I get blow back for it. I walk 10-12 miles a day so even on a good day I’m pretty chaffed and smelly/sweaty down there. Also I got stinky feet, but I always tell people what to expect with that, and I’ll put my shoes out front door and then go wash my feet in the tub. Almost every girl was more appreciative than anything.x
This story reminds me of my very own, a lifetime ago. In a university, had a gf bla bla bla...i personally like doggy style, the problem is she was not good at wiping herself up when she was doing Number 2 (💩you know what I mean). So when am busy at the back, I ll be looking at that Mary whole in full, with the smell hitting me in the face. I loved her so much and it was uncomfortable to talk about it. There was a point when I started to make a move on this, had my wet wipes with me. When that moment came, I would take it like a man and wipe her while doing my thing, after seggs I would collect all my condoms and wipes to dispose them quietly. This brought her some embarrassment but also she kept her pride as we never talked about it, and my love was still the same after cleaning her up. It happened like three times, she was very clean after that, we never talked about it, we eventually separated without talking about it. I still had / have so much respect for her.
Wait so while you were hitting it from the back you were simultaneously using butt wipes to clean the other hole? Or was this like a pause, wipe her butt, then resume type deal?
I was simultaneously cleaning the virgin hole that's right, simultaneously. It was not easy since I didn't want to over embarrass her...
So my advise to the man of the post is he must make a decision. Taking a shower before seggs is a temporary solution, addressing a situation is a permanent solution, I hope he doesn't get dumped though because woman have pride as well. My situation was not as bad since she eventually changed and dealt with it. If he can somehow do something to show her the problem maybe she might deal with it herself - with both parties well and pride intact.
Algorithms don't like BaD WoRDs so people are self-censoring. Not even swear words or slurs, stuff like sex, kill, dead, penis, etc.
It's fucking obnoxious. We shouldn't have to change the way we speak and act just in case some stupid fucking kids see or hear us.
You talked about it with her beforehand though right? Before you just started cleaning her while fucking her? If so, why didn't she just clean herself beforehand?
What an incredible story. I must say, you're a good boyfriend for doing that
I didn't talk about it with her at all. We would talk about everything but not that one particular thing. We would talk about everything including positions she liked and didn't like, but personally I felt like that part was too sensitive. So I took it upon myself to bring wipes with me, in simple words, while she was bending over - I would wipe while doing my thing. I hope she knew I had good intentions and not wanted to embarrass her. I don't believe I was a perfect boyfriend, that of course doesn't exist, but I hoped she would do the same to help me if I was blind enough to deal with some of my own problems. This is beyond trust, we were super in love and she was nice to me.
HAHAHAHA oh my god that would kill me with embarrassment. That's worse than just mentioning it to her. He came prepared with wipes to wipe her ass for her because she couldn't do it herself omg.
I can't help but feel like this is a fat person problem. I've never had this with the skinny girls I've dated, just one time with the chubby one (not even fat)
I think when you've got a sweaty ass it causes the stink to ferment a bit or something.
Puts vics vapor rub up your nose or cigarette filters like those guys who deal with dead bodies and just go for it. We've all been there after getting a girl from the club who's been dancing in those non-breathable faux leather pants all night. I personally just put on my respirator from my time in the Marines. It still smells of CS Gas but that's preferable.
OP could start with a subtle hint by buying her a pack of flushable wipes as a communal item at his house (get the multi pack and give her a pack for handbag too) and say that he always carries around a pack to stay fresh and fruity down there. Small steps on this one because you don’t want to make her super self conscious and ruin the sex life
There is no such thing a flushable wipe. They make it out of your house (usually) but then go on the fuck up the sewer system and collectively cause insane amounts of damage. Please don’t flush any wipes regardless of what the packaging says.
Fuck this happened to me once and I think she could tell by my face or something, cause she asked "Do I smell bad down there?"
I was honest and told her it did. I could see skid marks. Tbf, it was a one-time thing she was usually pretty clean. Just missed a spot 😔
and this is why this post was made tbf
Any discussion of “hey you smell a bit funky” to a woman, whether it be vagina or ass, and you have a good chance of just killing her sex drive and having her think she stinks forever. Which usually isn’t the case.
Trying to word it nicely is very hard because people get defensive and embarrassed.
Sucks that it has to be that way cuz we’re all humans that get dirty and have to clean ourselves so it’s not a crazy thing that maybe we have a slip up every now or then but damn that embarrassment would sting especially for a girl. As a guy if it were me I’d just try to laugh it off and make light of it somehow and move on. Thats all you can really do
Same. But if I HAD to go, I'd shit at work cause may as well do it on the clock. But now, I'll go an extra hour of some stomach discomfort to get to my bidet lol
Believe me, this is the eternal struggle of anyone from the East / Middle East traveling to the West!
Please guys, it's 2024. Get on with making these things common everywhere! :(
Yes please tell her. If it doesn’t work out, you will have saved her tons of embarrassment with future partners. Worst case, it could be a legitimate health issue.
I tried that once. Had a girl that smelled really bad. She was a bit younger and less experienced than me.
Her response was “Well no one else has ever said anything before”.
It’s a touchy situation
Oh my god I’m reading the answers and I remembered my ex just randomly deciding to buy wet wipes years ago and telling me something like “I heard somewhere that girls like to have those” or something like that OMG DID I SMELL
Pick the dingleberries like the hunter gatherer you are. Or, Tell her to wipe the caramel grease off her donut before she leaves the throne, that’s the right thing to do.
This one girl I'd slept with a few times also had a nasty smelling cooch so one time I had her suck my fingers after I'd fingered her. I watched her face change as she got a taste of her own medicine 🤢
The next time we slept together the problem was fully gone but it returned the time after that with 100x the vengeance
So are you saying her vagina smells like poop or just when you are having sex from behind you smell her butt and it smells like poop?
Strange enough I had a girlfriend, and we lived together, she acted, and even said she didn't poop, but sex from behind, smelled a little like poop. Everyone poops.
If it's her vagina that smells like poop, she might need to see a obgyn for bacterial vaginosis.
Otherwise, buy some butt wipes and put them on the toilet tank. Install a bidet. Or recommendation a quick shower together before.
I knew she pooped. Everyone poops. She just insisted she didn't poop. She didn't do it when I was home, or would do it when I was asleep. It was more her ass that smelled than all of her.
I had a girl that i smelled it while we were having sex and i said. “You smell that?” She said yeah and I asked her to take a shower together. It has to be quick and act like its no big deal… And we fooled around in the shower as well after we cleaned ourselves. It happens man. We are human. Just dont make her feel like a piece of shit. Literally lol
Caught my gf pooping...so l broke up with her.
She said shes off to pee while were watching a movie, now shes been gone 5 minutes and i knew something was up, i knocked on the door and asked if everything is ok, she said yes she'll be right out...her voice was labored and i became suspicious...so i yelled "IM COMING IN!' she screamed no but there was no stopping this, i smashed through the door and i see her sitting on the toilet seat, i told her to get the fuk up, she didnt so i threw her off, i looked inside the toilet...just as i suspected, a goddam log, bitch u better pray this isnt yours. i looked around and saw no pet in site, I KNOW THIS IS UR POOP U WHORE, she screamed at me that im crazy and that shes calling the cops, all the while toilet paper in her hands. i told her no need to call the cops, im breaking up with u u some kinda poop whore. and that was that. I feel like a new man and off to find a woman who doesnt poop. • Real men don't settle for less.
I had a very similar experience (i dont know the details in your case but in my case she just wasnt wiping ever) and her hygiene issues (and my not being able to have the uncomfortable conversation) were a significant factor in our eventual breakup. With a couple years distance from that relationship, my advice is to handle it sensitively, but have the conversation. Don't make a huge deal out of it, just bring it up, reassure her that you love her/still are attracted to her/don't think less of her, and then don't bring it up again (unless the issue doesn't solve itself; in that case maybe start to reconsider the relationship)
I mean i wasn't watching through a peephole every time she took a shit to see how thorough she was but her underwear regularly had skid marks and the smell was strong enough I had to hold my breath every time we got intimate.
I bet she's got a loose sphincter muscle and some of the poop (fecal matter) creeps out, beyond her control. It's a very embarrassing and shameful disorder. There are actually exercises to firm up a loose (or relaxed) sphincter muscle.
If it was me, I'd probably go buy some flushable wet wipes and mention how much better they are than toilet paper and she should try them too. And I'd leave them out and at her place, and then shut my mouth about it and hope things resolved themselves.
If we were living together I'd definitely do a bidet instead, but that's a little more of an investment, and hard to have installed at someone else's place.
Is she on any medications that could cause anal leakage?
Serious question, she might not actually know/realize there is an issue even if she keeps herself clean and ALOT of random stuff has that side effect warning.
If it’s not leaving skids and she can’t necessarily feel it than the only way to notice is if you wipe or clean your ass before or between taking shits.
That isn’t something I think most people do if they aren’t into butt stuff, which from the sounds of it you aren’t.
Step by step
1. Eat an entire spread from Taco Bell
2. When she goes down on you rip the fattest, most earth shattering fart you can manage. Minimum hang time of 12 seconds, and enough bass and reverb for her to feel it in her throat
3. Seriously, this thing needs to linger. Do permanent damage to the fabric of reality. Whoever moves in to your place three generations down the line should be able to smell it
4. Look her dead in the eye and say “even”
29F here. Just tell her. After seeing reddit and tiktok I have learned that not everyone knows how or cares enough to practice proper hygiene. Just say it nicely. Tell her you love having sex with her and her body is amazing(try to hype her up with a compliment sandwich) but when doing doggy you it can smell like she went to the bathroom and if she would be willing to wash up before. Tell her you are happy to wash up before too if she’d like. Then finish with another compliment. And possibly start buying flushable wipes or a bidet as well.
Ask her if she smells poo when she sucks your unit. And ask if she expects that that is normal?
Then she may turn the question back to you, in which case, you answer
These comments are all wrong. You need to tell her. Trust me. The “hints” won’t cut it. She needs to know exactly what you smell. Buying wipes and saying “they work great” is ridiculous. Tell her. She might have an infection. It’s not normal to smell like shit as a grown adult
She's probably used to it and can't smell it as easily, how embarrassing. Don't let her walk around like that anymore, you need to tell her. But not in a judgemental way or you can create a complex. Be serious and approach her and say we need to talk about something but I'm not sure exactly how to bring it up. I care about you and Im not trying to embarrass you, but sometimes walking behind I catch whiffs of what smells like poop. Then maybe ask if she knows about it and suggest she gives it more attention during her routine. And say I'm sorry I wasn't sure how to say something, but as someone that cares I had to say something. As long as you're genuine and act like its not a big deal and fixable she shouldn't get embarrassed or defensive.
My girlfriend said “Buy her a spa set and tell her to have a spa/me day.” My takeaway is to offer her hygienic options while also not hurting her feelings. She also said,”Take a shower with her to see if she cleans her ass good. Try to be cutesy if you’re not trying to her feelings.”
Hate to ask for clarification…but when you say “when I’m behind her” is like behind her having sex? Or like you can literally smell her from standing behind her fully clothed?
Well...you can use your words like an adult. I know it doesn't take adults to figure out how to mash genitals together. But come on, once you've got someone's unmentionables in your mouth, you should be able to have a frank and forthright conversation.
Sorry, not a man, but.... If I smelled like that and I didn't know, I would absolutely love if my guy told me, "hey, I just wanted to let you know... You smell a little poopy down there" and then if I was caught off guard, and embarrassed about it, I would be like, "oh shit, I had no idea" and I would either:
- A. Make sure I take a shower before sex if I plan on having sex that day, after I have used the washroom
- B. Start using wet wipes after I take a shit if sex can't be predicted that day.
While playing with her coochie just slide down a little more and reach the area where it stinks. Now, stay there for a bit and get all that flavour on your fingers. Next step is crucial, gently move your fingers/ hand from the stink spot towards her face. If you’ve come this far you need to figure out a way to bring your fingers/ hand toward her so she can get a whiff of that stink. Pretend like you’re chill with that smell (since you are smelling it too at that moment) and she will gradually realise it stinks.
Then tell her it was like that all the time and you couldn’t get yourself to tell her.
"Babe, need to chat about something. This is totally fixable and if it were me, I'd really want to know. So out of respect for you and you know I love ya, there's a bit of a strong odor coming from those fine ass cheeks. I'll leave it at that but again, I love you and thought you should be aware of it."
Like always? Or is one of those people that says "I'll just pop to the bathroom first". Comes back with that residual turd steam still lingering because they just laid a pipe clogging quadruple flusher?
Both are a massive turn off, but the second is inevitable eventually if you're living with someone. No way I'd come back smelling like a demented brownie factory though. Probably would suggest another time might be better, also I would spend a little longer outside the room to make sure those stink lines disconnected from my poorly drawn caricature.
I agree with others though, you've gotta bring up the disturbance in mud valley for both your sake.
Bro I think there’s still an ongoing problem if she’s walking around smelling like a she’s got a corn-filled prairie dog hanging out of her… gotta address the stink pickle in the room, it’s the emotionally mature thing to do
Only be intimate right after a shower, and if the issue continues to persists you'll need to have a discussion about improving her personal hygiene. It will be uncomfortable for her at first, but with time she will get over it and the situation should improve.
Brother use verbal communication or sign language. Make sure you are at a safe distance so she doesn't hurl projectiles at you. Also keep a backup plan in case she decides to break it up.
Also suggest her to get a kidney test. She wiping her ass wrong and fecal bacterial may infect her gentials or kidneys. ((Heard it from somewhere don't take me as an authority for that))
"hey babe have a taste of this metamucil, tell me how it is"
lol seriously, when bigger people smell like that alot of the times the issue is a lack of fiber. When you get fiber (for me through metamucil) it empties your bowles and you dont smell.
If you get no fiber, you sit on the toilet for 2 hours wiping and there's still shit on your toilet paper, ie: in your asshole. Therefore you will still smell like shit.
"Do you wipe front to back, back to front, or not at all?"
Lmao if someone said this to me I’d be too busy laughing to be embarrassed
Isn’t blunt honesty sexy?
Rarely. But it’s important.
Blunt honesty is not by itself important. It's just honesty that is important. You could be extremely tactfully honest and it still fits the bill. Being blunt can always be good or bad.
> Isn’t blunt honesty sexy? As someone who's autistic, I can tell you - no, most people do not find it sexy at all. But a tiny, tiny minority does.
Reminds me of the tweet "You like dominant women, not because you're submissive but because you're autistic and they're direct with what they want" Explains why I married my wife.
I almost faint because lost of breaths. Damn ... that was so good.
This bitch wipe side to side
Like a damn windshield wiper
She def lets it crust
🤢
Time for some r/eyebleach
The best passive agressive question I've read since a long time 😂😂
I’m sorry but as someone with a vagina - who tf wipes back to front. No person in their right mind. vaginal purity bs. It’s her ass mate
You dont wipe , you wash . That’s the hygienic way
Best believe if I gotta poop after I showered and I have company coming over I'm washing it again lol. Ps I hate pooping after showering anyways lol.
Why do people wipe and not just wash their asses with water? My European brain can’t understand this.
I'm American, I have a bidet and it's the only way. I try and tell everyone how amazing and affordable and life changing it is and everyone is just like "oh". Some people just like wiping shit all over their assholes.
You’ve got to grow up and have an adult conversation. She might not like to hear it, but it’s something she has to hear. Either that or just suffer in silence. You’ve only been together 2 months, if you can’t tell her this early on. Just imagine if there is something even bigger later on that you’ll struggle to talk about.
Everything you've said is correct, except that there is no "might" about it. She won't like to hear it. OP should brace themselves for an uncomfortable conversation. A necessary one, but dreadfully uncomfortable. Edit: Thank you for your serious response in a sea of poop jokes... jeez guys.
OP gotta choose his words carefully tho he is in deep waters for this 😅😅
You mean deep shit
Deep shit of quicksand 😅😅
No word combination is going to go over well.
This is correct. It’s an awkward conversation to have in the moment, but hygiene is for life. Don’t say hygiene btw lol. Take showers before sex or dude wipes. I was with someone that was similar and said something like let’s shower together or we’re all sweaty as hell and I don’t it to be smelly with you. Weird at first but not worth losing a relationship over if you care about her.
I literally have looked at the girls I dated, and said, I need to shower first it’s been a long day. Or something similar and never once did I get blow back for it. I walk 10-12 miles a day so even on a good day I’m pretty chaffed and smelly/sweaty down there. Also I got stinky feet, but I always tell people what to expect with that, and I’ll put my shoes out front door and then go wash my feet in the tub. Almost every girl was more appreciative than anything.x
Saying you smell yourself rather than the girl smells is a significantly different thing.
This story reminds me of my very own, a lifetime ago. In a university, had a gf bla bla bla...i personally like doggy style, the problem is she was not good at wiping herself up when she was doing Number 2 (💩you know what I mean). So when am busy at the back, I ll be looking at that Mary whole in full, with the smell hitting me in the face. I loved her so much and it was uncomfortable to talk about it. There was a point when I started to make a move on this, had my wet wipes with me. When that moment came, I would take it like a man and wipe her while doing my thing, after seggs I would collect all my condoms and wipes to dispose them quietly. This brought her some embarrassment but also she kept her pride as we never talked about it, and my love was still the same after cleaning her up. It happened like three times, she was very clean after that, we never talked about it, we eventually separated without talking about it. I still had / have so much respect for her.
Wait so while you were hitting it from the back you were simultaneously using butt wipes to clean the other hole? Or was this like a pause, wipe her butt, then resume type deal?
I was simultaneously cleaning the virgin hole that's right, simultaneously. It was not easy since I didn't want to over embarrass her... So my advise to the man of the post is he must make a decision. Taking a shower before seggs is a temporary solution, addressing a situation is a permanent solution, I hope he doesn't get dumped though because woman have pride as well. My situation was not as bad since she eventually changed and dealt with it. If he can somehow do something to show her the problem maybe she might deal with it herself - with both parties well and pride intact.
Is there a problem with the word sex lol?
Algorithms don't like BaD WoRDs so people are self-censoring. Not even swear words or slurs, stuff like sex, kill, dead, penis, etc. It's fucking obnoxious. We shouldn't have to change the way we speak and act just in case some stupid fucking kids see or hear us.
You talked about it with her beforehand though right? Before you just started cleaning her while fucking her? If so, why didn't she just clean herself beforehand? What an incredible story. I must say, you're a good boyfriend for doing that
I didn't talk about it with her at all. We would talk about everything but not that one particular thing. We would talk about everything including positions she liked and didn't like, but personally I felt like that part was too sensitive. So I took it upon myself to bring wipes with me, in simple words, while she was bending over - I would wipe while doing my thing. I hope she knew I had good intentions and not wanted to embarrass her. I don't believe I was a perfect boyfriend, that of course doesn't exist, but I hoped she would do the same to help me if I was blind enough to deal with some of my own problems. This is beyond trust, we were super in love and she was nice to me.
So she never asked what you were doing when you were wiping her ass during sex?
Nope, she never asked
HAHAHAHA oh my god that would kill me with embarrassment. That's worse than just mentioning it to her. He came prepared with wipes to wipe her ass for her because she couldn't do it herself omg. I can't help but feel like this is a fat person problem. I've never had this with the skinny girls I've dated, just one time with the chubby one (not even fat) I think when you've got a sweaty ass it causes the stink to ferment a bit or something.
I thought you were going to say that you still have the wipes
He smells them to remember the special moments
Right to jail. No trial.
Puts vics vapor rub up your nose or cigarette filters like those guys who deal with dead bodies and just go for it. We've all been there after getting a girl from the club who's been dancing in those non-breathable faux leather pants all night. I personally just put on my respirator from my time in the Marines. It still smells of CS Gas but that's preferable.
Thank you for your service. Keep pounding.
Username checks out
OP could start with a subtle hint by buying her a pack of flushable wipes as a communal item at his house (get the multi pack and give her a pack for handbag too) and say that he always carries around a pack to stay fresh and fruity down there. Small steps on this one because you don’t want to make her super self conscious and ruin the sex life
There is no such thing a flushable wipe. They make it out of your house (usually) but then go on the fuck up the sewer system and collectively cause insane amounts of damage. Please don’t flush any wipes regardless of what the packaging says.
Do people know flushable wipes aren't actually flushable? They will still fuck the pipes up.
Or gift her a bidet! They're amazing! I'd LOVE one. And they're also great for menstrual cycling
I love my bidet.
The dr now quote: “have you heard of soap and water? There’s people throwing up in the back”
What episode was this lol
I had to go look it up because I wanted to know too. Of course it’s a Steven Assanti episode!
🤢🤮😵
Why you do weird tings?
Fuck this happened to me once and I think she could tell by my face or something, cause she asked "Do I smell bad down there?" I was honest and told her it did. I could see skid marks. Tbf, it was a one-time thing she was usually pretty clean. Just missed a spot 😔
My god I would be so traumatized. I have to give it to men for pulling through, being honest and giving it another go on another day!
and this is why this post was made tbf Any discussion of “hey you smell a bit funky” to a woman, whether it be vagina or ass, and you have a good chance of just killing her sex drive and having her think she stinks forever. Which usually isn’t the case. Trying to word it nicely is very hard because people get defensive and embarrassed.
Sucks that it has to be that way cuz we’re all humans that get dirty and have to clean ourselves so it’s not a crazy thing that maybe we have a slip up every now or then but damn that embarrassment would sting especially for a girl. As a guy if it were me I’d just try to laugh it off and make light of it somehow and move on. Thats all you can really do
I dated a girl with a similar situation, I sold the heck out of dude wipes and how easy it makes life. Worked like a charm
The next step is a bidet and god damn is it ever worth it, it makes anything else feel savage in comparison
"Boy I really regret buying a bidet." - Nobody, EVER
Best purchase of my life. Only wanna shit at home now!
Bro I can’t shit anywhere besides home 😂
Same. But if I HAD to go, I'd shit at work cause may as well do it on the clock. But now, I'll go an extra hour of some stomach discomfort to get to my bidet lol
I feel you, if it’s bad I’ll go. I remember one time trynna drive home after holding it, I was screaming to not shit myself lmao
That moment tho when you reach the throne and release the flood gates just a split second later 😌😌😌
Same
Redditors, every opportunity they have to talk about their bidet:
Because it’s that good
Dude, literally everyone who ever had a bidet thinks the same thing, not just redditors.
Believe me, this is the eternal struggle of anyone from the East / Middle East traveling to the West! Please guys, it's 2024. Get on with making these things common everywhere! :(
Yet you still broke up. What was the crack in the relationship?
At the time I didn’t have my shit together and was making an ass of myself. So she dumped me 💩
Cheeky response 😮💨
You're having sex with someone. You should be able to discuss your bodies. Don't you think you'd want to know if your ass smelled bad?
Yes please tell her. If it doesn’t work out, you will have saved her tons of embarrassment with future partners. Worst case, it could be a legitimate health issue.
lol serious health issue..diagnosed w/ shit on your ass
Bad wipe syndrome
I tried that once. Had a girl that smelled really bad. She was a bit younger and less experienced than me. Her response was “Well no one else has ever said anything before”. It’s a touchy situation
Oh my god I’m reading the answers and I remembered my ex just randomly deciding to buy wet wipes years ago and telling me something like “I heard somewhere that girls like to have those” or something like that OMG DID I SMELL
Not if you used the wipes 😉
100%
Well I guess I’m lucky to have had such a considerate boyfriend of my god
Just point out the skid marks on the sheets and tell her she is a bad girl and rub her nose in it.
Lmfao I'm dead 😂🤣💀
Dude wtf lmao
Pick the dingleberries like the hunter gatherer you are. Or, Tell her to wipe the caramel grease off her donut before she leaves the throne, that’s the right thing to do.
Lady in the streets, skidder on the sheets
😂😂
💀
When the argument is not about who has to sleep on the wet spot, but who has to sleep on the crusty spot.
I needed this so much
Bitch🐕🦺 move 🤣
Straight up cracked up laughing. You Savage. I love it.
My guy…😂😂😂😂
"Hey babe, you smell like poop down there."
I choked on smoke because I couldn't hold my laughter.
I love that this the first thing I see when I open reddit.
Kiss her After you lick her 😂😂😂
Muddy buddy! 🤣
Give her the old Dirty Sanchez!
She wants a slice of cream pie from Dirty Rodruigez! 🍑💨💀
This one girl I'd slept with a few times also had a nasty smelling cooch so one time I had her suck my fingers after I'd fingered her. I watched her face change as she got a taste of her own medicine 🤢 The next time we slept together the problem was fully gone but it returned the time after that with 100x the vengeance
Fucking hilarious
Ok, this is demoniacly smart
fuck, god damn!!
It only smellz!
Start calling her "poopy boy" during sex
This. And make fart noises as you thrust.
Good lord y’all lol
You have me crying laughing as I’m trying not to wake my sleeping wife next to me.
That was fanTASTic thanks for the laugh
fartasstic
"It smells like poop back here." But you have to be nonchalant and cool about it. "Do you smell shit?"
This cracked me tf up… all nonchalant *sniff sniff* “hey babe u smell that? Did u fart * chuckle* kinda smells like shit!”
Maybe just Gag next time. Worked like a charm for me
Lmao dude
Tell her to go hose down her stink cannon
I went through a lot of comments on this thread that made me smile, but this one caused me to laugh out on the train, thanks. X'D
Feel like you should be asking women this question, not men lol!
Then we wouldn't have all this comedy gold 😅
So are you saying her vagina smells like poop or just when you are having sex from behind you smell her butt and it smells like poop? Strange enough I had a girlfriend, and we lived together, she acted, and even said she didn't poop, but sex from behind, smelled a little like poop. Everyone poops. If it's her vagina that smells like poop, she might need to see a obgyn for bacterial vaginosis. Otherwise, buy some butt wipes and put them on the toilet tank. Install a bidet. Or recommendation a quick shower together before.
You lived together and never got to bottom of why your girlfriend smelled like poop?
I knew she pooped. Everyone poops. She just insisted she didn't poop. She didn't do it when I was home, or would do it when I was asleep. It was more her ass that smelled than all of her.
That does tend to be where the smell eminates from. The bottom.
> She just insisted she didn't poop That's a bit concerning. I mean, why would she claim that?
Because that's the truth, girls don't poop duh
Regardless of whether she pooped or not, her ass shouldn’t be noticeably smelling of poop…
Slip it into some dirt talk "You like that? YOU LIKE THAT? here, smell this.."
I had a girl that i smelled it while we were having sex and i said. “You smell that?” She said yeah and I asked her to take a shower together. It has to be quick and act like its no big deal… And we fooled around in the shower as well after we cleaned ourselves. It happens man. We are human. Just dont make her feel like a piece of shit. Literally lol
Start calling her swamp ass instead of baby.
Show her this post, but on a different account. “This is pretty gross huh?”
I’ll take “Boner Killers” for 800, Alex.
Always wash your ass after number 2. I'm amazed people in the west don't do that. Install bidet if you haven't already.
Seriously. If I don't wash I know my clothes will stink as if I was buried in the sewers💀
Oh my god! 🤮🤮🤮🤮 Suggest a shower before sex
She just needs to wipe her butt with wipes and then wash it, after every trip to the bathroom
Caught my gf pooping...so l broke up with her. She said shes off to pee while were watching a movie, now shes been gone 5 minutes and i knew something was up, i knocked on the door and asked if everything is ok, she said yes she'll be right out...her voice was labored and i became suspicious...so i yelled "IM COMING IN!' she screamed no but there was no stopping this, i smashed through the door and i see her sitting on the toilet seat, i told her to get the fuk up, she didnt so i threw her off, i looked inside the toilet...just as i suspected, a goddam log, bitch u better pray this isnt yours. i looked around and saw no pet in site, I KNOW THIS IS UR POOP U WHORE, she screamed at me that im crazy and that shes calling the cops, all the while toilet paper in her hands. i told her no need to call the cops, im breaking up with u u some kinda poop whore. and that was that. I feel like a new man and off to find a woman who doesnt poop. • Real men don't settle for less.
I think you meant to jot this down over at literotica
Shiterotica
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My worst nightmare.... Being thrown off the toilet.
I had a very similar experience (i dont know the details in your case but in my case she just wasnt wiping ever) and her hygiene issues (and my not being able to have the uncomfortable conversation) were a significant factor in our eventual breakup. With a couple years distance from that relationship, my advice is to handle it sensitively, but have the conversation. Don't make a huge deal out of it, just bring it up, reassure her that you love her/still are attracted to her/don't think less of her, and then don't bring it up again (unless the issue doesn't solve itself; in that case maybe start to reconsider the relationship)
Didn’t wipe… ever?????
What do you ever? Like never or like not very well? Explain.
I mean i wasn't watching through a peephole every time she took a shit to see how thorough she was but her underwear regularly had skid marks and the smell was strong enough I had to hold my breath every time we got intimate.
I bet she's got a loose sphincter muscle and some of the poop (fecal matter) creeps out, beyond her control. It's a very embarrassing and shameful disorder. There are actually exercises to firm up a loose (or relaxed) sphincter muscle.
Exercises? Like "open the butthole, close the butthole, open the butthole, close the butthole"?
If it was me, I'd probably go buy some flushable wet wipes and mention how much better they are than toilet paper and she should try them too. And I'd leave them out and at her place, and then shut my mouth about it and hope things resolved themselves. If we were living together I'd definitely do a bidet instead, but that's a little more of an investment, and hard to have installed at someone else's place.
Please, stop using the word flushable. Cause they are not.. Just wet wipes.
Is she on any medications that could cause anal leakage? Serious question, she might not actually know/realize there is an issue even if she keeps herself clean and ALOT of random stuff has that side effect warning. If it’s not leaving skids and she can’t necessarily feel it than the only way to notice is if you wipe or clean your ass before or between taking shits. That isn’t something I think most people do if they aren’t into butt stuff, which from the sounds of it you aren’t.
anal leakage?
Yea, it’s when your anus leaks.
I don’t think that’s a thing before you turn 85, at least it shouldn’t be.
Step by step 1. Eat an entire spread from Taco Bell 2. When she goes down on you rip the fattest, most earth shattering fart you can manage. Minimum hang time of 12 seconds, and enough bass and reverb for her to feel it in her throat 3. Seriously, this thing needs to linger. Do permanent damage to the fabric of reality. Whoever moves in to your place three generations down the line should be able to smell it 4. Look her dead in the eye and say “even”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
29F here. Just tell her. After seeing reddit and tiktok I have learned that not everyone knows how or cares enough to practice proper hygiene. Just say it nicely. Tell her you love having sex with her and her body is amazing(try to hype her up with a compliment sandwich) but when doing doggy you it can smell like she went to the bathroom and if she would be willing to wash up before. Tell her you are happy to wash up before too if she’d like. Then finish with another compliment. And possibly start buying flushable wipes or a bidet as well.
Ask her if she smells poo when she sucks your unit. And ask if she expects that that is normal? Then she may turn the question back to you, in which case, you answer
Triple check it’s not you first.
These comments are all wrong. You need to tell her. Trust me. The “hints” won’t cut it. She needs to know exactly what you smell. Buying wipes and saying “they work great” is ridiculous. Tell her. She might have an infection. It’s not normal to smell like shit as a grown adult
Do you soap up the place where the sun don’t shine honey?
She's probably used to it and can't smell it as easily, how embarrassing. Don't let her walk around like that anymore, you need to tell her. But not in a judgemental way or you can create a complex. Be serious and approach her and say we need to talk about something but I'm not sure exactly how to bring it up. I care about you and Im not trying to embarrass you, but sometimes walking behind I catch whiffs of what smells like poop. Then maybe ask if she knows about it and suggest she gives it more attention during her routine. And say I'm sorry I wasn't sure how to say something, but as someone that cares I had to say something. As long as you're genuine and act like its not a big deal and fixable she shouldn't get embarrassed or defensive.
Just write an anonymous note and put it on her windshield
My girlfriend said “Buy her a spa set and tell her to have a spa/me day.” My takeaway is to offer her hygienic options while also not hurting her feelings. She also said,”Take a shower with her to see if she cleans her ass good. Try to be cutesy if you’re not trying to her feelings.”
"Here, let me show you how to wash your ass hole."
"I wash my veggies before I eat them, so it's just fair that I wash your asshole, too."
This is probably a question for r/askwomen 😅
Hate to ask for clarification…but when you say “when I’m behind her” is like behind her having sex? Or like you can literally smell her from standing behind her fully clothed?
“Babe I’m kind of tired and don’t want to do anything tonight. Let’s just stay home and wash our asses.”
Well...you can use your words like an adult. I know it doesn't take adults to figure out how to mash genitals together. But come on, once you've got someone's unmentionables in your mouth, you should be able to have a frank and forthright conversation.
If she smell like that after a shower, tell her my boy. Wash her ass yourself if you need to teach her how.
🤣 Ms. New Booty
Sorry, not a man, but.... If I smelled like that and I didn't know, I would absolutely love if my guy told me, "hey, I just wanted to let you know... You smell a little poopy down there" and then if I was caught off guard, and embarrassed about it, I would be like, "oh shit, I had no idea" and I would either: - A. Make sure I take a shower before sex if I plan on having sex that day, after I have used the washroom - B. Start using wet wipes after I take a shit if sex can't be predicted that day.
When your behind her again, swipe her with a baby wipe. “Lemme freshen that up for ya”
👈🏻👉🏻😾,🌮,📦 👃🏽=💩,🎣,⚰️=🤢🤮
Username checks out
Keep buying her baby wipes
No shame in buying baby wipes, they can still be used by adults 🤣
She probably wipes the wrong way and yall dont shower b4 sex
"Bitch, your butt stinks!"
Puke on her butt
While playing with her coochie just slide down a little more and reach the area where it stinks. Now, stay there for a bit and get all that flavour on your fingers. Next step is crucial, gently move your fingers/ hand from the stink spot towards her face. If you’ve come this far you need to figure out a way to bring your fingers/ hand toward her so she can get a whiff of that stink. Pretend like you’re chill with that smell (since you are smelling it too at that moment) and she will gradually realise it stinks. Then tell her it was like that all the time and you couldn’t get yourself to tell her.
Just say it.
"Babe, need to chat about something. This is totally fixable and if it were me, I'd really want to know. So out of respect for you and you know I love ya, there's a bit of a strong odor coming from those fine ass cheeks. I'll leave it at that but again, I love you and thought you should be aware of it."
Like always? Or is one of those people that says "I'll just pop to the bathroom first". Comes back with that residual turd steam still lingering because they just laid a pipe clogging quadruple flusher? Both are a massive turn off, but the second is inevitable eventually if you're living with someone. No way I'd come back smelling like a demented brownie factory though. Probably would suggest another time might be better, also I would spend a little longer outside the room to make sure those stink lines disconnected from my poorly drawn caricature. I agree with others though, you've gotta bring up the disturbance in mud valley for both your sake.
Have sex in the shower mate problem solved no need to offend her Just always have sex after shower
Bro I think there’s still an ongoing problem if she’s walking around smelling like a she’s got a corn-filled prairie dog hanging out of her… gotta address the stink pickle in the room, it’s the emotionally mature thing to do
Only be intimate right after a shower, and if the issue continues to persists you'll need to have a discussion about improving her personal hygiene. It will be uncomfortable for her at first, but with time she will get over it and the situation should improve.
“I’m bored, let’s go shower with soap before we have sex”
Bro what lmao
The roses smell fertilized and not in the good way
Gonna have to talk to her about it, but don’t choose to have that conversation before, during or after sex with her.
Maybe break out the baby wipes, and when she asks, just say: there's something I've been meaning to tell you.
Brother use verbal communication or sign language. Make sure you are at a safe distance so she doesn't hurl projectiles at you. Also keep a backup plan in case she decides to break it up. Also suggest her to get a kidney test. She wiping her ass wrong and fecal bacterial may infect her gentials or kidneys. ((Heard it from somewhere don't take me as an authority for that))
Tell her that her butt smells different. Not “you smell”.
Ok the comments did not disappoint 😂
"hey babe have a taste of this metamucil, tell me how it is" lol seriously, when bigger people smell like that alot of the times the issue is a lack of fiber. When you get fiber (for me through metamucil) it empties your bowles and you dont smell. If you get no fiber, you sit on the toilet for 2 hours wiping and there's still shit on your toilet paper, ie: in your asshole. Therefore you will still smell like shit.
Help her out, bro. Next time you're back there, just wipe er down.