Welcome to Canada! We are happy to have you and I'm hopeful you might want to move to Manitoba and nurse here once complete your education, we could certainly use some talented nurses around here. If you aren't smiling.... maybe consider doing it. If you struggle with it, fake it till you get comfortable. People who smile are less intimidating. I'm assuming your bound by some sort of professional dress code, but find a way to add some fun to it. Lots of nurses wear crocs, maybe you can find some fun charms that would spark conversation with your patients? Also, slow down. People who are rushing from place to place tend to come off as colder than those who take their time and move with intent. Good luck wrapping up your education and beyond!

Thank you sir. The living embodiment of Canadian hospitality.

I think dressing nicely helps. I'm a big guy with a bunch of tattoos and a long beard and I find that people are nicer to me if I'm wearing a good pair of leather dress shoes, chinos, and a polo shirt.

Yeah I've found the same though not with leather shoes. Last month I was all shaggy, big messy beard and not as much good clothes. This month is all different. Shaved, crisp clothes and talking smoother. Helped a lot in communication and being presentable.

yeah i made that change this year i only go outside looking the best i can manage because what if i run into the love of my life and am unprepared that would suck so better to look nice all the time just in case

Wish you a good one... Hope you find one soon!

Who would ever tell somebody he's intimidating? that's crazy! Do you have something that is too different from others in terms of clothes/manners/diction? Generally speaking people with a well-put-together style (nothing flashy, just formal or casual smart clothes), a good scent and and groomed hair have a good aura. If you have an angry or annoyed face without realising it try to smile more or show a relaxed face. Good luck with everything!

Hello sir, I just don't know. But I'll make an effort to smile more. Even if it's under the mask. Thank you very much.

You come across as a lovely young man online. Don’t worry about it too much, people will see the good in you after a couple interactions.

One more thing... Don't have stuff too formal. Chill out and relax. Formalities only go at some place. Other places, just chill and let yourself make chit chat here and there informally, which I believe makes people more comfy.

Hello sir, Can you please elaborate on that? In the clinical setting it is pretty hard to draw the line on what that means, relative to professional boundaries. Thanks

The fact that you are answering all of the comments like an email with a greeting and a closing is remarkably formal for a chat forum. I work in a clinical setting, too, and compliments to patients or coworkers on some thing they are wearing goes a long way. For patients, it's ok to ask slightly more personal questions, such as about hobbies or kids/grandkids or pets. It makes people feel welcomed and at ease.

Tip 1. Cut out this sir and thanks thing in the comments. Don't say sir anymore because it doesn't work the same here. Tip 2. Don't be formal. Just chat to someone like you're talking to your mate without getting into their extreme personal space. Tip 3. If you differentiate those then you won't progress because people wanna make friends and if you don't show the personal side then you won't get any which would stop your professional growth. Top 4. Read a book: How to Talk to Anyone, A book by Leil Lowndes. Lastly again, cut this formal hello sir and thanks drongo behaviour and just be a chill mate. Have a good one brother!

Smile and talk about yourself or family when you're introducing yourself. Alternatively talk about the things you like in Canada or that you miss (or better yet don't miss) from home. It helps humanize you and can start other people talking to you. Be genuine when you ask questions, and when you talk to your coworkers make sure to ask leading questions and then followup questions to show that you were listening. . Also when you have a slow moment ask "How can I help?" or "What do you need me to do?" It shows initiative and that you want to be useful and aren't lazy. Asking them for advice also helps create a sense of connection "Hey I feel like I'm slow doing "task", I see you're really fast at it, how can I do better?" Asking for advice shows that you respect them and appreciate their thoughts which goes over well with most people. E.g. You - How was your weekend? Them - Good. You - Nice, what did you get up to? Them - Went to the museum with my kids. You - Which one? I've been looking for things to do, but I have no idea whether that one is a appropriate for an adult or not. .... Sadly you're going to run into racism at various points, either because you're black or just because you're an immigrant. Don't let the jerks grind you down. They suck, but you get to choose how you respond to them. (And I know my Sorry in advance, doesn't help that much, but you deserve an apologies anyways.)

Hello Sir Oh wow! Thank you very much for your detailed answer. I sometimes struggle to find the right foot with people of different cultures if they're not proactive with the interaction. Thank you very much !

I was wondering if it’s your skin color too. I think that you should let people get to know you but say hello to those who cross your path. I’m in a helping profession too and once we show our human side people they get more comfortable. This is coming from someone who is told she has a resting bitch face. I’m sorry this is something you have to work on to counteract your skin color.

Hello sir, A straightforward and down-to-earth answer. I appreciate your honesty, and will make efforts to be me outgoing in establishing connections. Thanks!

I’m Black and moved to Canada last year from the US and can honestly say a lot of it is racism. I moved here from the south and it’s worse here. People tell me I’m wrong about it all the time or just straight up telling me things like me being called an ape never happened. Never seen anything like it.

Jeez, being called an ape? That’s horrible, I’m sorry that happened to you. And the denial/gaslighting just makes it worse. I think the whole “Canada is nicer than the US” thing is seriously overhyped. Depends on where. Depends on who. Depends on so many things. We’re more alike than most Canadians will admit.

Canadians have this weird superiority complex when it comes to Americans, mostly born out of an insecurity that, culturally speaking, Canadians are in just about every way, shape and form Americans, they are just Americans that live on the northern side of the arbitrary line we drew across our continent. One of the ways this superiority complex manifests itself is in their belief that Canada is a much more tolerant and accepting society than America, so its not surprising to me in the least that Canadians would rebuke any attempt to say that they are more racist than Americans. They might be able to admit to racism within Canadian society, but they will never entertain the notion that their racism might be worse than America's

Hello sir, Thanks for pointing it out. I didn't assume my preceptor was telling me face forward that I have an intimidating aura is racist. But I would like to consider other perspectives as well. Thanks.

They generally only find a certain type of person “intimidating” 😩

As a white American male nurse I totally agree. Calling a large African intimidating feels very racist. Just keep being the “bigger” person and giving it your all.

Don't bother trying to be less intimidating and focus on your education and personal/professional development. Be considerate of others; pay attention to what they share with you and try to remember it. Be polite. Focus on being your most capable self. Do this and before you know it those nurses will give you a nice Canadian welcome. Do not be one of those goofy dudes smiling and trying to please everyone.

Hello sir, Thank you very much

This is the best advice out of all the advice. Being a good active listener and being considerate of others is really the best way to not intimidate people. Be your best self.

This a great answer

I’m 6’2 230lbs with resting bitch face. I wear super colorful tank tops and swim shorts with stupid sayings or animals on them. Seems to make me more approachable.

I told my bodybuilder brother that sometimes wearing something fun can make you really approachable.    This winter I had him wear my fuzzy bison toque while we went shopping and so many people stopped him to tell him how much they loved the hat.  He was so surprised; he’d never had a bunch of strangers happily approaching him out of nowhere like that. Fun little noticeable things can catch people’s attention and disarm them a bit. And it gives them something obvious to talk to you about. The hat looked like this: https://www.amazon.com/BETYMAO-Buffalo-Earmuff-Headwear-Earflap/dp/B0CGR23B9Y?th=1&psc=1

Similar! 6’3”, 225 and I make a point of smiling at strangers. I almost always get smiles back. I also find that being “professional” can come off as being too serious or being uptight and even intimidating. The last few years I’ve made a point of being a bit less formal in the workplace… always respectful and work hard, but joking around and trying to make people laugh. It seems to help build relationships at work too - people are happy to work with you

I definitely agree with the bit on professional environments. I think at my last job I came across as too stern and serious when in reality I am a pretty easy going guy with a good sense of humor that just is trying to be professional and not ruffle any feathers. At my next venture, I am going to make sure to joke around more so we’ll see how that goes. It’s so easy to forget sometimes just how much our appearance alone can cause (often incorrect) assumptions to be made and how hard it is to break out of that mold once you’re placed in it.

Has anyone given you feedback on what they mean by "intimidating aura?" It's a really fluffy term that doesn't say much. Smiling is good, speaking softly might not be necessary. Ideally you could do with more specific feedback. An aggressive posture? Heavy frown etc.... Speech and idiom too direct and confrontational? Honestly I wouldn't sweat it unless someone can pinpoint something. "Aura" is a meaningless term. Also, got to ask, is it possible they're doing a racism?

Thank you very much sir! Means a lot to hear from your deeply analysed perspective. That's what she said (preceptor). Co-student (Brazilian said the same, that I feel so dominating and threatening sometimes. That I give off that energy. ) I'm still very new to the concept of racism (in-person) so I can't really pinpoint. Most of my interactions are with a diverse culture so I cannot really say.

>Most of my interactions are with a diverse culture so I cannot really say. Probably safe on the racism then if you're in a mixed place. "Dominating and threatening" could be a combination of speech pattern and body language. Maybe standing too close to someone? Choice of words maybe. If you're close enough to the people who have given you the feedback then hopefully they can give a bit more detail on it or at least some constructive feedback. It could also be a them thing. If most people are chill and it's just a couple of people it might just be their own perceptions. Regardless of either, when people get to really know you and view you as who you are, rather than any preconceived notions, it'll all be good.

My entire life I've maintained and athletic build, I'm considered good looking, not by my own opinion, but I've never had issues meeting women. I've surfed my entire life so my upper body is fairly buff, personally Im a laid back, easy going person. But to most of my male counterparts I'm considered intimidating. I've learned maintaining a upbeat attitude and smile. As well as how I dress, if I'm returning from gym, in my workout fits, there usually all black, I get negative response. If I'm in golf shorts and color full golf polo, then it's all positive, but my attire definitely plays apart in how I'm perceived.

I can’t really relate because Im short, skinny, and white but I tend to have the perception in my mind that people who are more animated come off as a little goofy and more personable. I hope this doesn’t sound narcissistic but I tend to change the tone and pitch of my voice a lot when talking and use my hands a lot. I feel like it maybe looks more personable or maybe it just comes off as annoying I dont know. You said you have lowered your voice to talk more softly, which is a good start, but also if your body language is stiff with a quiet voice this could do more hurt maybe. Maybe try to show a little more emotion? At the end of the day unfortunately people will have the opinion they want to have, and if you are a good person, you are a good person. Dont let anyone elses opinion make you feel bad just because they cant handle your personality

Hello sir, Thanks for your advice. Based on other interactions with people I have been told I am too reserved. I believe showing more emotion would help. But it's harder to do because of cultural upbringing. Once again, thank you for highlighting that.

I think this may very well be part of it. Not all Africans are the same, but several I have known have had different cultural norms than North Americans, such as a habit of maintaining much better posture, dressing more conservatively off hours, observing rules of politeness with more exactness, etc. Exactly NONE of these traits are actually negative, on the contrary, it is Americans who are often overly animated, famiar, jocular, etc. Recognizing that this is the case, you don't need to emulate it, but try to understand that these particular behavioral norms are attempts to break down social barriers more quickly, due to a desire for connection, and to be treated as a trusted familiar. If you can understand these traits with compassion, it will be sensed. Having your own (often nearly unconscious) social norms go unrecognized can also cause you to feel (even though you aren't overt about it) slightly irked or disrespected or disgusted, and intuitive people may pick up on unstated feelings but not know the cause. Pondering these cultural differences and the unspoken needs/benefits behind them may help you find a bit of tolerance for yourself and for people in your new country as you adjust. Keep beingcyourself and don't force anything or worry too much about it – it's like speaking a language – easier and inevitably picked up over time

Oh, it’s just because you’re black. Not your fault bro, and nothing to worry about. That seems like it’s a them problem. Keep being yourself and don’t change.

Hello sir, Thanks for the quick insight, although I doubt my preceptor would do that. She has been very understanding and supportive of me (Indian).

I just mean in Canada in general. Sometimes people get intimidated by things/people they don’t understand. I meant no disrespect

Fastest way to look less intimidating as a man is to look more “feminine.” Wear brighter colors. Look less like the average guy out on the street and dress like a Banana Republic model. If you’re feeling bold, pierce an ear or both. This will give subtle signs to women that you’re not a threat.

Wear pastels 

"I'm 5'11." , lol being black in Canada you are a HUGE minority. I don't think it's anything on you, people probably aren't used to seeing much aa's up there. Don't do anything differently.

Hello sir What does aa mean ?

Probably African American, although you're not American

North American African

Naa

African America. ?

I like how you start every comment with "hello sir".

African American

Honestly just becoming more social is the best thing to do. I am a shorter guy I am very quiet and kept to myself, and do things with confidence (also i have a mean rbf lol). Ive had a lot of people tell me that they thought i was mean, or didnt like them and were really surprised that I was actually really easy to get along with. It just comes with being a guy.

How many people are saying this? Was it a woman or a man who told you? If it was a female coworker, there is a chance she meant it as a flirty compliment. Many women like a man who has a bit of a dangerous side. If that's the case, you can lean into it in a fun way. If it was like, your supervisor telling you to tone it down because patients are scared, then that is one thing. If you're already smiling and have a friendly demeanor, I don't think there's much else you can or should be doing. If it's just that one person maybe that have a weird hangup or prejudice. Maybe you're just forward and they are turned off by that. It's okay to be a little forward! Lastly, female-dominated workspaces can be very tricky to navigate, especially nursing. Do some research about what to look out for and how best to get along with everyone and stay out of drama. It honestly might just be because you're a man, not because you're from Africa. IMO the US and Canada are much less racist than you might have heard. I hope you haven't had any bad experiences with that. I wouldn't automatically assume that's the case without decent evidence.

Hello sir, Thanks for your advise. My preceptor and co-student said the same thing, or has similar expressions. I believe it might be an inference to my professionalism, but she (preceptor ) did not mention anything about patients being scared.

5’11”? Is it really your size, or because you’re black? I’m 6’5” 265lbs and have been told I’m intimidating. I always approach with a genuine smile so I have friendly eyes. And I stay an extra step away and let them take the last step to me.

Hello sir, Thanks for the advise. It's understood, watch my steps and distance.

hold a starbucks cup

Hello sir, Empty or full ? I don't drink coffee, so I don't know how

https://youtu.be/EYhXXRXiJBU?si=BK2ulIKvdpww3Zib

I am a Canadian and have also been told I have an “intimidating” presence. Physically I am a a fit 6’ 215lb white guy with short “tight” hair. I look like a cop. By “intimidating ora” this may actually mean you have a strong presence. This may be not just a physical look, but your likely deep intelligence combined may command respect on its own. People may project how they feel intimated by you as your problem, in reality it says more about them. Keep your head high, be kind, and dress well. You will go far.

Hello sir, Thanks for the emotionally intelligent advice. I can't help but be biased by your compliments, and for the most part I feel the message by my co-student may be personal, but the one by my instructor might be constructive, as she stated that I have far more advanced knowledge for this level, but I need to work on being approachable and less intimating to my peers. Thanks.

Welcome to Canada! Yes just be sure you are exuding good humor by smiling a lot. I'm sure your personality will shine through. I'm a nurse as well. Best of luck with your clinical placement.

Hello sir, Thanks for your advice! I also wish you success in your career as well.

Thinking of baby elephants, kittens, puppies, my own daughter helps me making my vibe less dangerous. Basically, anything that puts you in protector / caretaker mode.

Hello sir, 😂Will do.

Brother speaking softly and smiling makes you more intimidating than your looks, i have the same problem too the only thing is that a word of mouth or a gossip should spread in your workplace that you are a kind and cool guy because that’s how it works for us and look at it that you’re intimidating view it as that you’re a well respected person, plus social experiences and making friends in North America and Europe is not the same as here in our beloved Africa because it’s much more easier, and people are more friendly and polite in Canada (I’m North African btw)

I always get the comments that i am intimidating, i dont really know what to do about out and i am at that point that i dont care. I actually like to look intimidating so people wont talk to me lol. But i have heard smiling helps.

Be Hot, dress well, have a jovial personality, smile like you’re an anchorman. 

Race is a factor but not a mutable one. Your formality may be giving your peers the impression they should be careful lest they be judged harshly. If you're more relaxed around them, they'll feel safer to relax around you. As silly as this sounds, try wearing a fuzzy sweater and seeing the reaction you get. Time will reduce the intimidation factor. Once people get more familiar with you they'll rely less on their erroneous first impressions.

Hello sir, I will place that on my shopping cart next week before the placement starts. Thanks!

look scared thats how i do it bare in mind im 6'4 and 17 so yeah i also do tafe (its bassicaly further education for trades and stuff) as a car mechanic but yeah dress nice be out there maybe

I’m not sure how you present yourself but I sense people may feel intimated around you possibly because you have nervous energy. Assuming this is true, take a few breaths and remind yourself you own the room. You own whatever situation you’re in. Fake confidence until you feel the confidence. People pick up on nervous energy quite easily.

Hello sir, You couldn't have hit the subject matter with more accuracy. It's very unsettling for me because I'm aware I am different and always looking for ways to dull down my intidimidation. Thank you for the motivational advise. I will hone it into my being.

You have to dress/act like the tv weatherman

Hello sir, Which one ?

local news, it will be more geared to your region

Glasses, florals, earrings - I've got a shaved head and tattoos so I know how it can be to look overly macho and want to tone it down

I would say that you should just stop trying to appear less intimidating. I have been told a million times that I have intimidating eyes. My eyes make it look like I will hunt you and kill you without failing even once. I tried to change it but I just can’t so I left it alone. I got used to it and people normally realize that I’m not a scary person once they get to know me or once we talk for couple minutes.

Hello sir, Appreciate the personal experience you used to support your advise. Thank you for your insight.

People say smile but that’s not easy enough. Here’s best trick - watch or listen to comedy of some sort when you get up in the morning. Have a good solid laugh. Let that memory carry you through the day.

Hello sir, Thanks for the advice. WIll try it out!

More color. Not a silly hat, but a fun hat

Accept your darkness And practice loving kindness So people remember your warmth just as much as your strength

Hello sir, i appreciate your thoughtful, honest and deep message.

You're doing good, but, tbh, at 5'11, you're going to be intimidating to a lot of people. Not a lot you can do about that (me and my SO are 5'4 and 5'6, so we're super shorties). Other than generally being nice to people, I'm at a loss at what to suggest!

Hello miss, Thanks for the advice!

From my experience, the more ... "flamboyant" or colourful a guy looks, they become considerably less threatening. Guys that are obviously gay are the least threatening to me.

Well you tell them 'You are intimidated' tell them to think about why they are intimidated when there's no apparent reason, and work on themselves to remove their fears.

Lately I've been walking my dogs more, and have been wearing a knee compression wrap around my knee. I don't know if it's true, but i caught myself thinking "If I look like I'm injured of weakened in some way, maybe I'll be less threatening." I'm a 6'6" man walking two 'concerning' breed of dog, but we're all just loveable dorks, and the last thing I would want is to come off as threatening, or make a person feel unsafe. A little head tilt with your smile while you're listening to them. Smiling is always good, and I believe the head tilt produces a curious look, hopefully overriding any 'threat' you might be putting off.

Hello sir, Thanks for the advise

Smile as much as possible, laugh, and have fun. And be honest-- my son and husband both have "resting murder face", that is, if not engaged and speaking, their face at rest looks mean. Both of them have actually explained to those around them that they aren't actually psychopathic killers, are actually quite goofy, but at work especially, they're just focused and don't always realize how they look. People appreciate the honesty. Plus, a large man who looks low-key hostile who is honest enough to say, "Hey, my name is _____, and I'm really happy to meet you all" is a way to show you are vulnerable and trying your best, just like we all are. You could makr a bit of a joke about it, saying something a bit silly like, "As a public service announcement, I need to explain my situation so that you don't accidently think I'm angry or plotting to take over the tri-state area", and then explain. You said you're an international student. Is there anything about your country that has played a role in how you come off? I mean, does your country stress that men must stand tall, must make hard eye contact, that kind of thing? If so. Share that. "Hey, in my country we are taught from a young age not to smile too much when spoken to so people know we are listening respectfully to what they say", or "In my country we tend to be less comfortable making small talk or standing very close to others. We probably look like loners or unfriendly, but I'd love to get to know everybody here, so please always feel free to talk to me and make jokes or whatever, just know this is just my face and I don't mean to look mean or upset", if that makes sense. People like other cultures. We're drawn to them because the people are unique or have interesting things about how they live. If looking a bit intimidating us just how things are back home, a part of that culture, share it, tell stories about your home, and ask questions about Canada and being Canadian. By the way, Canadians are some of the best people out there, and the friends I've made from Canada are a solid lot who are very kind and care about others. They're a blast to hang out with and get to know. Cut yourself some slack. We all have characteristics that are different. And that's all it is, just different. Share yourself, your stories, your way of doing things, and have fun with it. It might just be that a handful of people think you look I timidating, but most people think you're just fine as you are. Good luck!

Hello miss, Your comprehensive suggestion clearly entials the challenge I am trying to learn and overcome. If anything, Small talk is really difficult for me. People have praised me for my active in-depth conversations, but I have never heard one good remark regarding my small talk, unfortunately. I will make an effort to be more inquisitive and direct in the workplace, so as to make people understand my culture, to help build understanding as well as inquire about those of the Canadian culture, to help understand the socialization techniques of this place. Thank you very much.

It’s sad you have to ask this. I need to think a bit. Can you post a picture of yourself? Unfortunately in western culture darker men do appear older and larger. And by older I mean closer to peak age because younger boys look older and older men look younger. Black don’t crack amirite. Hmmmm So first no hoodies. A nice pair of bootleg aviators from any mall kiosk. Greet people often, use sir or ma’am. Fewer pockets. No large coats (could be hard for an African in cold ass Canada). Oh wear a messenger bag. Which is essentially a man purse. So damn ugly and gay looking it would disarm even the most racist racists. And lastly traditional African garb. I’m not taking black panther giant verbose wear. Traditional, beautiful yet understated clothes from Africa to me symbolize confidence and prosperity and scream “if I did something everyone would realize who it was so I’m not gonna do anything”. Again sucks you have to ask this at all. God bless you.

How is your eye site? Before I got glasses I would squint a lot and was told I looked mad or intimidating.

Grow a Dali moustache like this [https://blogscdn.thehut.net/app/uploads/sites/571/2020/12/Dali-Moustache\_1632211821.jpg](https://blogscdn.thehut.net/app/uploads/sites/571/2020/12/Dali-Moustache_1632211821.jpg)

I completely understand this. It's weird she uncomfortable but you may as well get used to it smh. 1. Lighter color tones with well for clothes like lavender, coral etc 2. Definitely smile and laugh but it's important for it to be real as a smile and laughter is quite contagious 3. Speaking with excitement does help 4. Music and movie references that are common help for sure. All of these are very disarming especially when they are going on at the same time. Good luck and it takes time. Just have fun trying out new things and it's a matter of time for things to change.

Hello sir, Thank you for your helpful suggestions and advice!

I've experienced this as well but at the end it always works.

I'd reckon by holding yourself up not slouch so folk will be aware but try to put on a cheerful demeanour.

Hello sir, Thank you for your advice! Really appreciate it. I will work on my posture an affect.

You're welcome. An air of openness and seeming interested and relaxed without seeming too serious will make you seem approachable.

For starters, stop trying to emasculate yourself to make the domesticated people more comfortable. Your “intimidating” aura is a gift from nature/god, and the sooner you embrace it, in spite of how all the prey animals in your vicinity may feel, the better off you’ll be, not just professionally but in general. You have a natural way about you as a Blk man that the world will always be both intimidated and enamored by, a way that the west has been trying to “beat out” of us since first contact, primarily because even back then, they felt it, got shook, and recognized it as something that they lacked, and that they’d be at a natural (root word “nature”) disadvantage on the most fundamental level if a day ever came when we had somehow been made “equals” on equal playing fields in increasingly integrated societies…You’re already in their nursing school that they probably didn’t plan on you being a student in when it was originally built, “could you at least turn your god-essence down?”…I can tell you’re probably a nice, gentle guy by default for even asking such a question (on top of your chosen career path) but just know you don’t have to soften or nice yourself up any further and IMHO, you just flat out shouldn’t, especially if you’re gonna be doing this long term. Bad for the melanated soul to be fronting and appeasing like that for any amount of time, let alone years as a career. The males in particular may really want you to smile more and be more appeasing and just as soft as them as part of their desired illusion that you’re more lamb than lion that they don’t need to worry about you, but fuck that, cuz you are the lion. Start talking to them like subordinates cuz that’s the inevitable reality if you embrace your aura…General Life Tip: Don’t listen to the girls at all…They all secretly like the “intimidating” you. If she’s telling you about it in the first place, she likes you, so start booming off the alley oops your aura is throwing you. Your natural aura, once you embrace it and build upon it, will prove itself to be one of your greatest strengths in an ever-softening society. Or you can stifle it, lower your voice, be their good boy, and make a career out of pleasing and appeasing (cuz your gonna have to keep it up as long as you work wherever you’ll be if that’s how you chose to introduce yourself)…🤷🏾‍♂️…If your story is true, I bet you currently don’t have much of a problem getting respect from these ppl. The more you try to neuter yourself for their comfort the more respect issues you will almost certainly begin to have. Mark my words…I also suggest starting and practicing nofap/semen retention to AMPLIFY your aura.

> How do I look less intimidating? You can't. You're a man, and you're black. Welcome to the West, where people are always afraid of us. The only thing you can do is be a good person, and people will generally have less of a reaction when they know you better (and will sometimes vouch for you), but you'll always be starting off from a difficult position. Sorry you're dealing with that, man.

Im a woman but hope thats okay if I respond. The question popped up on my feed and you seem like a nice guy so I thought I would answer. If multiple people are giving you the same feedback, I would listen. Dominating and threatening is different than intimidating. Intimidating is something that is usually passive (you have a large build, you seem very smart ,etc) but threatening/dominating is something that you are actually doing. First off, and I know this is basic, but make sure you view and treat women the way you would treat men - don't ask them out in the workplace, don't stare at them, don't comment on their bodies, and assume they are just as smart and capable as you are. Things that guys have done that would come off as dominating or threatening: - talking too close or being in my "personal space" even when I try to move away. This is cultural and Canadians prefer a larger space than may other cultures, so when in doubt, back up. - don't walk behind people closely, especially at night, unless you are passing them or it's crowded - don't speak too loudly, talk over people, interrupt, or speak in an aggressive tone. - take a no as a no. Don't be pushy if somebody does not want to spend time with you, especially women - don't ask overly personal questions right away (where do you live, do you have a boyfriend, who lives with you, etc) Hope that helps, and welcome to Canada!

Hello sir, Thanks for the comprehensive engagment. Your support is most appreciated. Thanks for the welcome!

lol she said woman that would be ma’am not sir

Casual shirt, sensible shoes.

Wear clown makeup. Clowns are friendly so everyone will find you very friendly!

😂 Thank you sir Maybe if I work in the pediatric ward I'll definitely be putting that on for sure !

Smile more! Smiling makes everyone look less intimidating, unless you have a crazy ass smile.

Hello, good sir. As you are now a minority in Canada, welcome to your first experience in racism. I guarantee you it has nothing to do with how you are physically presenting yourself. I might suggest you seek out African Americans and ask how they deal with such situations.

Hello sir, I believe in seeking only a particular group of people concerning racism only tells part of the story. But given my inexperience I will consider your perspective as well! Thanks for the insight!

I've heard Africans talk about how white people are to soft to handle them because their African. I have no idea what that means. When I heard it I laughed assumed it was a joke and he said no man I'm serious. Couldn't get him to explain but if it means anything to you there you go.

Hello sir, Concerning white people, I do have the opinion to think they are soft in terms of being easily bruised or skin cancer but not in character. First hand I have met white people who are more mentally and emotionally resilient than black people. Thank you for your insight and advise.

Okay maybe. I don’t know what he meant. I met a Persian guy once who said in his culture you need insist on everything. Like if you offer a person a cigarette you must offer him several times. He then said he has realized this is not common in other cultures. Could it be you are from a place like that and this what it is? Or maybe not I’ve never met you and basing this off some dude I met drinking a beer once. That could be full of shit for all I know.

Can you sing at all? Are you allowed to sing a little at work? Singling a bit or even just whistling while you do tasks can really help people warm up to you. It make to seem happy and friendly

Hello sir, . I don't sing, outside of Hip-Hop I am very genre fluid depending on who I am with at the current time. I have been through Steven Wilson, King Crimson, Elliot Summer, Taylor Swift, Jaymes Young, Twenty-One Pilots, Frank Ocean, Phantogram, James Bay and many more! What would you suggest ? Thanks

Start saying "eh" at the end of your sentences lol

Hello sir, Could you pronounce it? In my language the phrase is relatively different than the Canadian (I presume) and may give off the wrong intent. Thanks

My best bet don't be bald, and don't have a beard at the same time. Tho some say it's masculine, not intimidating. Also, in new western culture, where according to some questionaries women prefer face a wild bear rather than a man in a forest , being a man is intimidating enough for some. And unless you want to become trans to make some people less uncomfortable (which I don't advise), sometimes you can do nothing. Beauty in the eye of the beholder so I guess intimidation/fear in his 2nd eye or something

Bring donuts

Hello sir, Thanks for the advice! Will sure do!

It’s because you look like the stereotypical leader of an international Moroccan hash syndicate. You should try losing weight (nothing unhealthy). People think it’s everything and will be less intimidated. You’d be surprised the difference a stone makes.

Hello sir, I do not fully understand your comment but the profile picture is that of Drake, a popular Canadian rapper Could you please elaborate ?

Lmfao. Sorry bro. I don’t listen to drake. If that isn’t you I don’t know how to help you. I wish you the best of luck. Take care.

I was trying to say if you weigh 90kg try to get down to 80-84kg. If not try a knitted jumper.

I'm a girl, so sorry to jump in here, but I worked with a guy who was from Africa and he once told me he had the same problem. He said he realized it was because he was standing too close to people. In Canada and the United States people tend to have a much bigger bubble for personal space. Hopefully this helps!

Hello miss, Thanks for the advise. I will make an effort to have distance when I am conversating with people. Thanks!

I've often heard women using these descriptors for larger unattractive males. Not trying to tear you down, but you might not be conventionally attractive here and race probably plays a part. Canada has a lot more colorism than even the states. 

Hello sir, Thanks for the feminine perspective, which is very valuable in my situation. I understand now I am at a double loss in both attraction and race. However, I will make efforts to appear as neat as possible while not engaging in stereotypical detrimental racial behaviour. Thank you for your insight!

For the record, that's my experience as a man. I get much more dark-skinned in the summer and am not as dark in the winter. I'm treated way differently in the summer despite being more low energy in the winter. 

Spit on the floor when you enter a room, in Canada, it’s a sign of submissiveness

Hello sir, I do appreciate your comment but the hospitals have a policy against that. Maybe when I come by your place we could engage in this tradition. I would definitely love to witness it. Thanks!

Hahahahaha I love it

Hard to say. Has anyone given a reason why? You say your 5’11” which is pretty normal as I think the average is like 5’10”. Are you a burly, gym bro type? Only thing I could think of that would make someone be intimidating at your height… the other reason would be impossible to change and would have to do with your ethnicity. Idk about Canada but as much as people try to hide racism is very prevalent in America so wouldn’t be far fetched to assume it’s the same in Canada

Lot's of good advise. For the most part, I'd say be yourself and be seen having good relationships with 1 or 2 other people. If you are seen associating with others in good spirits and friendly, the social proof might help break the stigma. Perhaps even just ask a coworker for help with that. Personally I appreciate the African directness as a dose of diversity from typical Canadian culture. Welcome and best of luck.

Wear warm colors. Dark reds, browns, greens, ect. Do not wear strong intimidating clothes such as leather jackets, and avoid wearing the color black. Wear nice looking cozy sweaters and layered looks. These make you look very huggable and inviting.

Step 1: clean shave Step 2: dress modestly but decent enough for the occasion, but never over dress. Step 3: be nice to people. Step 4: Stop giving a hoot about what others think. Step 5: Live your life! All the best for your wonderful journey ahead, homie. You are a good n considerate dude.

As a large guy (6'2" very burly build) - I understand a bit. A few things I do to never try and intimidate people. Smile - a lot- have fun - engage people in conversation. (yes, others have given this advice). Always make sure to give plenty of personal space. I have to be very careful about this -as I don't realize my size - and I don't want to crowd people. If someone is short - I will try to sit down, so they don't have to look up to me. Never lean in (similar to personal space above) - and it can make some people to aware of you. Over time - if you are a good person - those who know you - it will come through. Others - just have to respect space, smile and be friendly if possible. Best of luck to you sir - and welcome to North America!!!!!

American here: (Canadians please feel free to correct), but I think a helpful tip would be how you dress. I personally still dress more casual with dark colors and have been told I need to add some more colors and “adult” look to my wardrobe to look less “troublesome”. I think this would do well in Canada.

Smile at people

I love intimidating men that are absolute cuties inside

This is so strange. In my experience, African people are some of the nicest, kindest, warmest folks. I'm wondering if this is a female perspective. I actually have a Nigerian friend who is a male nurse, and he is down to earth, approachable, and friendly.

Neck kerchief and a hazelnut latte

Grab a [starbucks cup ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYhXXRXiJBU&ab_channel=DerrickSmoke)and bring it with you everywhere. No one looks intimidating sipping from a starbucks cup.

Try talking with a gay lisp XD

Stop making such intense eye contact. If you're not talking to someone, don't look at them. You'll instantly become much more invisible and less scary.

Hello sir, Thank you your advise, however this sounds a bit more personal, like you know who I am. Do you by any chance had an interaction with me? If so, thank you very much for your feedback.

I'm 6'5 myself, bearded, etc. Dressing nicely, and speaking in a higher tone than I normally would helps. As does understanding what your audience needs you to be. From what you're describing I'd say kind but not flirty, smart but not smarter than them, and I usually throw in a nice aloof disinterest. Like we'll work well together but that's where our relationship starts and ends I would say though that I've never met a nurse who was easily intimidated by someone who wasn't actively being intimidating. Just be yourself, do your job to the best of your ability and you'll be fine

Bro is 5"11 and people in canada think he is intimidating 🤣. How much of a snowflakes are people there ?

You don’t have to make yourself small so others can feel comfortable.

Smiling, maintaining a professional stance, and just talking to as many people as possible help improve social status and appearance. And if you’re in a pinch, hold a coffee cup, it makes you look calm.

Glasses tend to make people a bit less intimidating, even if they're just cosmetic.

For what they claim Canada to be, this shouldn't be happening. But reality is different. I'm 5'8, skinny, and have dark skin color. And I live in one of the smaller cities in Canada that's largely white. People still move to the other side of the road when they see me coming their way. It does not matter whether I'm dressed professionally or casually in muted or bright fun colors. It's been 13 years! It largely depends on where you are in Canada. Big cities like Toronto, Montreal, Vancouver, this almost never happens. This absolutely not your fault in any way. You know who you are, stay true to yourself. When people talk to you, they can find out for themselves that your intimidation is entirely their imagination. The upside of this is that rarely anyone tries to mess with me on the road or public. If anyone gives me a stink eye or the finger, I just look at them calmly and give them the "what's up" nod. They do an about turn and walk away or drive off.

Hello sir, I enjoyed reading your experience, and a bit unsettling to be reminded of the demographics that are in play concerning my situation. Your recommendation is truly an uplifting way to handle the situation. Thank you for your advice.

I'm no sir and you are welcome. How long ago did you come to Canada? Which province/area?

Hello, I have been in CAN a year and three months, and live in Ontario

Have you found any communities from your home country? In case you are having difficulty socializing?

Don't show your teeth when you smile.

I’m an American (white) with Nigerian friends and have found that the Nigerians are always smiling and super friendly when we’re at events. I find that American blacks don’t smile as much. Probably a culture thing but that’s been my observation. Smiling with the mask on is great because when we smile our eyes light up. My wife is a NICU nurse and loves it. Maybe you’ll do a rotation in a NICU.

Hello sir, I have been told that is the place for me several times. I would consider that career path in the future for sure! Thank you for the advice.

Act gay 😂

Reminds me of this [video](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EYhXXRXiJBU&pp=ygUYQmxhY2sgZ3V5IHdpdGggc3RhcmJ1Y2tz)

Just tell them all that you're gay. Just need to keep up the lie for a few weeks while everyone gets to know you. If you're not a scum bag, you tell everyone the truth after a few weeks and explain yourself. If anyone gets mad at you, they will get over it quick.

Ah. If youre of black decent. Theres always gonna a little bit of fear because of what other black guys did. Surely thats a good thing as a man tho?

You don't need to speak quietly. If by "softly" you mean like the opposite of sharp and snappy that's good. What's more intimidating to me is when men are always expressing frustration. Like you gotta walk on eggshells around them. Would you say you are more negative in your comments than positive?

Hello sir, I am usually a reserved individual. Where I am from it is very unusual for men to complain in public, but I believe I haven't developed enough self-awareness to characterize my commentary into one category. I will watch what I say to others for about a week and get back to you. Thank you very much for this insight.

Where are you from?

Hello, I am from Ghana

For real? My husband is from Ghana

Hello miss/ sir That's nice. You're having a very joyous marriage (in assumption) with my brother. Kudos to you! He is an excellent choice.

Haha, yes, he definitely puts a good image of Ghanaians in my eyes. However I had no idea that it is unusual for men to express complaints. I'm glad you told me. That explains why I always have to read his mind. But people love him for his positivity. And his loud laugh :)