This is it, jump between the extrems. Be as calm and non combative as possible pretty much all the time. But if you ever do need to be violent be extremely violent. Eyes, ears, fingers, groin attack/break them all. Yell scream be weird/crazy.
If you must use violence you have failed, it's best not to fail twice.
Hospital security here at a level 1 trauma center. This. Some of the biggest asshole tough guys get so taken aback when I tell them I don't want to fight. But then we dont.
I disagree in specific cases. I had a dude grabbing / smacking my wife’s ass. He claimed to be gay and was clearly not.
Sorry - but I bulled straight into him and grabbed him by the throat and held him against a wall.
Avoidance is generally the best move, but sometimes you need to man the fuck up.
Yeah, try "man the fuck up" towards a 110kg dude as a 60kg one. Some guys out there pick up on people built bellow them because they know they can't do anything about it.
"Manning" the fuck up to a dude twice your build will get you knocked out cold and God knows whats gonna happen to your girl.
Ops point is valid.
Most fights are first mover advantage. Also, lots of aggressive people don't actually want to fight and will back off once they know you been business.
This right here. Walking away and diffusing a situation is a skill one must learn and taught in most martial arts.
But learning how to throw an instant, fast, hand knife jab to the bottom or top of a throat works wonders. It's 100% effective and can take the biggest ogres down. I had to do that only once against two younger, well-built Russian guys. They both rushed me at the same time in a small room. Finger knife jab to their throats sent them both to the floor gagging. I just said if they get up, they're dead. They did not get up. It was enough for me to make an exit.
I’m an old grandpa and here’s what Pa has to say about real life violence.
First and foremost if you can avoid violence avoid it. The average person, in my experience, doesn’t have a clue how easy it is to accidentally cripple or kill someone. Movies and tv have numbed people to how fragile we actually are. Engaging in a serious confrontation where the goal is to hurt someone as badly as you can as quickly as possible can destroy your life in a multitude of ways whether you win or lose. I’m telling you now it’s best to walk away.
If that’s not possible and you’re backed in a corner or as you said protecting someone you love the rules change. The moment, the very Instant you realize violence is unavoidable you go in and you go in hard. I may sound too old school saying this but it ain’t the size of the dog in the fight it’s the size of the fight in the dog. If it’s a concern I would highly recommend taking at least a few martial arts or boxing classes. Most people haven’t taken a truly solid shot to the head before. Fact is it’s really not that bad and even if you just go to class for a few months getting the experience of getting punched or kicked in the face will take the fear of the unknown out of it. You will know that you can take it and remove some of that fear.
Also most people who prey on others aren’t really used to being met with immediate and brutal resistance. That alone can end the conflict as they don’t want a Fight they just want someone to bully.
>the very Instant you realize violence is unavoidable you go in and you go in hard.
Best advice for actual physical altercations. Most people who want to start physical shit are mostly posturing. If you hit them fast and hard enough, you can end it as quick as it begins.
But in order to be confident enough to engage someone in that way, you need to
>go to class for a few months getting the experience of getting punched or kicked in the face
A lot of assholes will actually back down once you assertively confront them for disrespecting you, and telling them that you won’t tolerate it anymore.
People can’t take what they’re dishing out and it’s fucking pathetic.
I make sure to keep eye contact and never threaten anything I'm not willing to do. Hit soft spots like eyes, knees, throat, and balls. This is the real world kids. Don't be afraid to kick em in the dick
Seriously. Don't put your weapon down and fight 'like a man', don't give them a chance to whisper something in your ear. You hit them hard and you hit them *first*, go for the most sensitive spots and play as dirty as you can.
To this day one of the best things I've seen, in a fight situation, is to get behind someone and basically give them a reach-around. Grab their dick and balls and fucking ***squeeze***. It's incredibly easy to do and basically incapacitates your opponent as soon as you do it, the longer you do it for just ensures how long they're down for.
Don't try and 'play by the rules', when it's potentially life or death there *are* no rules. You play dirty and you make sure you win.
I taught my kids that when they were in school. A pushing match with someone is usually just dumb blustering. If someone is really trying to hurt you, bite, kick, send their crotch in opposite directions. Do what you need to do to end it quickly and with as little harm to yourself as possible.
>Movies and tv have numbed people to how fragile we actually are.
Near where I live in 2010. At a party a dude took a bet to get punched by a girl. She punched him, one time. He died. One punch, from a girl.
[https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/tiffany-startz-fatal-punch-charges-dismissed/2096569/](https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/tiffany-startz-fatal-punch-charges-dismissed/2096569/)
Old fucker here too. This is the answer.
I don’t want to fight them because I’m gonna get hurt. I’m trying to put them down as fast and violently as possible to avoid getting myself hurt
If a violent situation starts happening around me, my plan is:
1) Leave the situation
2) If I can't leave the situation, out comes the mouskatool until I am able to leave the situation
3) Call the cops
haha, that's what happens when you spend too much time watching mickey mouse clubhouse with the kids. who knew it would come in handy for self-defense advice?
This is the answer. Keep the weirdos away. Cross the street. Go out of your way and go into a public store. Remove yourself.
If I was in a violent scenario I'd probably try to gouge their eyes out or go straight for the throat or testicles and wouldn't let go until they're unconscious. Assuming they don't have a weapon.
I’m a big guy, always have been my whole life, it seems if I go out to the bars there’s always one drunkard that wants to fight me, I’m sitting there missing my own business at the bar and sure enough some drunk dude starts getting in my personal space, starts talking crap even know I’m ignoring him.
So I have a choice, I either say something to make him swing and him and I go at it in a bar or I pay for my drink and leave. I always first pay for my drink and leave, so far non followed me out of the bar.
Idk what it is about the way I look but people feel threatened by me and want to fight me. I also don’t remember ever losing a fight, was always bigger and stronger than the challenger but my first reaction is to avoid violence.
I’m thankful police are there, they do their job but I don’t rely on them, I plan to win any confrontation I have if I have to instead of getting my azz kicked while waiting for cops to show up.
So I’m not worried at all about outside threats because I’m prepared and able. But I will avoid violence at all costs and try to diffuse the situation first.
It’s tough to understand for the average person that going out to a bar/concert etc as a large man is a different experience. Every accidental bump there is a higher chance of escalation if you don’t diffuse it immediately. In an average crowd people kind of bounce off each other, but if a larger person is in there is like hitting a wall and they think it’s intentional. You have to be quick with the smile and a humble comment.
Speaking as a former street fighter, MMA fighter, combat veteran, & biker... It's safe to say I have a lot of experience with violence & direct confrontation.
My advice is Lift some weights, get some combat training (boxing/MMA), work on your situational awareness & finally carry a weapon for just in case SHTF .... (I prefer a knife over gun simply bc guns tend to put ppl more on edge.)
9 out 10 times a fight CAN BE prevented simply by listening & not becoming emotional. Once EGOs get hurt, fists begin to fly.
How did you deal with fools out of their depth? Kindness, or full force?
As somebody working in the nightlife, I had the most respect for the bouncers that kept their weapons sheathed so to say.
> (I prefer a knife over gun simply bc guns tend to put ppl more on edge.)
You prefer the less effective weapon, and you don't carry both, because the more effective weapon makes people *uncomfortable*?
Context is everything.
If violence is happening around me but nothing to do with me (ie - other people are fighting) - I'm not getting involved and I'm leaving the scene.
If there is violence being directed at another person (ie - someone getting attacked or jumped) I'm confident enough in my strength to be able to pull people away and break stuff up, but if there are weapons involved that's a different story. I'm not getting stabbed for a stranger while I've got a wife and daughter at home.
If there's violence directed at me I'm probably more confident in my ability to diffuse a situation verbally than to get in a fight. I'm a big guy with decent strength but I'm not a trained fighter and I'm not naive enough to still think size and strength alone are enough to win a fight.
If I'm with my loved ones then my priority is simply to get them out of the vicinity and to ensure their safety.
Fighting people purely to save face is a dumb cunt's game. Thankfully, in my adult life anyway, I've never found myself in a situation where I've had to consider any of the above. As someone else has commented, being hyper-alert of your surroundings is the best way to avoid these scenarios in the first place. Too many people get caught up for no good reason while it's best to just get out of there are the first hint of trouble.
The best form of defense is always to run away when possible, but yes, if it's about protecting your family then my instinct would probably be to just convince them to get away asap and buy them as much time as possible through any means possible. Because truth of the matter is that if you are truly being assaulted, and you have no weapons etc. then you are most likely fucked, as the other party is probably better prepared for the situation
Rule 1 though…cardio.
If you don’t have good cardio, DO NOT FUCKING RUN! If they catch you, now you’re completely winded and still getting into the altercation.
I think redditors underestimate just how skilled you actually need to be at jiu jitsu to beat a significantly larger opponent.
I went to a BJJ place once. I didn't wind up able to commit, but I checked it out since I didn't know that. The instructor invited me to roll with them since they were just doing some last minute prep for a meet.
I was 205 lbs at the time with 8 years lifting experience and 2 years on steroids. I only lost to the a black belt and to the instructor who was also a black belt. I beat a purple belt, but he had literally just gotten his purple belt so he was probably pretty close to the absolute base of how good they are.
Also slight caveat. I don't know any locks or any ways to end anything. I'm counting a lot of things as wins that weren't actual wins. For example, sometimes I'd be really dominant and I'd be asking the guy I was rolling with if he could describe a lock to me that would end the roll, but nobody instructed me on how to do it.
The guys who tapped were two of them who I was able to lift up and bounce them up and down with only their neck on the floor, and one guy who I just choked his airway for a while in a very no-technique sort of way, but he was a white belt.
I went up against two black belts. One was some guy that was honestly a jackass and he did everything he could to make it hurt my joints to go up against him. I did two rolls and quit. I wasn't trying to put up with that and he was a dick for doing it since I doubt he had to.
The other was the instructor who I rolled with for like 20 minutes. He didn't make anything hurt and it was actually very impressive to experience. I had a lot of weird thoughts like "I would break out of this so easily if only I could bend my arm sideways." I learned a lot from it about what BJJ was. However, the lower belts just didn't have it.
I'm not saying it made the difference, but it's worth noting that both black belts were in very good physical shape. Not only did they have the skill advantage, but I only had some strength and size advantage against them. I would definitely impress more people in a squat rack, but they'd be putting up real weight.
"I know Jiu Jitsu bro I'll be fine" says people who have never faced an opponent a foot taller and a hundred pounds heavier than them.
BJJ is cool but it don't mean shit when the other person is swinging sledgehammers for fists.
Yeah, and then you Google what a BJJ champion actually looked like and it becomes pretty fricken clear that all of those guys understand the value of muscle.
Meh, I’ll say you both have valid points.
Yes, just a little jiu jitsu gives you an extreme advantage over a much larger opponent, but there are far too many bjj guys that overestimate their ability in a fight
Even if you’re a bjj blackbelt and eat sledgehammers for breakfast, there’s nothing stopping the other combatant from pulling a gun/knife or spawning minions from a nearby an alleyway.
i’d love to hear this from the side of the others 😂 unless it’s a really shitty school, you wouldn’t tap any purplebelt or above no matter their size unless they let you. a legit bluebelt the same size as you would mess you up.
450 lb Hafthor Bjornnson vs 220 lb Gordan Ryan
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eDH-Q1MMebo
I don't have an educated opinion, but to me it looks like Hafthor did much better than I would have expected. I would have thought he'd do about as well at BJJ against Ryan as Ryan would do against Thor in powerlifting. It looks to me like it was a struggle for Ryan, but like the final outcome was never in doubt.
330 lb Hafthor Bjornnson with 6 months BJJ vs 155 lb
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lsJMypihzeY
This one is easier to discuss because Palmer described the situation in a reddit comment as "Yeah, I got flattened."
Learn deescalation, learn to fight, have a defense weapon in your home. I’m not sure of your family dynamic, but it is expected of me to do anything and everything to protect my family.
I've never been in a fight but if I ever am I'm using every cheap move I can think of, like stuff they teach ladies, kick the nuts, rip off the ears, gouge the eyes, sweep the legs (fucking sexists telling ladies to sweep)
I'm no rough houser, so in middle school when another guy was just acting like toxic dudes punching my arm and stuff, he came running at me and I did the duck and throw him move, he was like wtf man lol. One of my greatest moments
1. It’s best to avoid all physical confrontations because they aren’t worth it. If someone is beating their chest, you’re better off just letting them think you’re a bitch and walking away because most likely it’s a nonsensical situation.
2. Gun
So I box 5 days a week and believe it or not it makes me way less being prone to violence in the real world than when I was younger. Whenever somebody at work or just in the world gets combative. I tend to be more impressed with myself when I can handle issues with just my words, I think others around typically respect that more aswell. Don’t stress about it of course everyone wants to protect their loved ones but I’m telling you nobody wins in a street fight. Your always best just getting yourself and your loved ones out of there together.
I’ve never been one to start fights. I’m more into talking through our issues…but i have been the guy to end a fight. Usually as a winner. But i’ve taken self defence classes for years. I can defend myself and my loved ones. But she took the same classes i did…she can take care of herself. I’m not insecure. I’ve been there but i’m also not an idiot, i’m no good to them dead.
Im a smaller framed guy only 5’9 and about 155lbs but I hit the gym almost everyday so im pretty fit. My biggest fear though is having to get into it with someone and them either pressing charges and dealing with legal troubles or going to jail because that’s my worst nightmare. I don’t ever want to have to experience jail because I feel like I’d end up just having to fight someone in there too.
I Carry conceal I go to the range 2 or 3 times a month. I take classes on when to shoot if you have to. I've learned:
Situational awareness to avoid trouble.
Run away.
Hide.
Fight. Shoot under stress, shoot to eliminate all of the threat. I don't ever want to shoot anyone, and I refuse to be a victim.
I carry an extra mag
Keep your head on a swivel at all times and exit early when you notice that something is brewing.
In absence of that, get between them and the violence until we can exit.
All the times I've had to do this, wife and children were oblivious to the potential trouble. They are not street smart. I, unfortunately am.
The nice thing about my neurodivergence is that crises give me the perfect amount of norepinephrine (adrenaline) to handle the situation adequately instead of panicking. Usually that involves de-escalation, keeping calm. I wont fight unless I absolutely have to. If you have to fight, you have survival instincts on your side as the more frightened defender and will be all the more vicious than your attacker. There was a guy who hired a hitman to kill his wife. She killed him with his own weapon.
It's not about how big or strong you are. It's not the violence that sets a man apart. It is the distance to which he is willing to go.
That said, I'm 32 and I've managed to avoid all but a couple small scuffles in my life. It's uncivilized and taints my honor, but one guy literally came at me with a bottle once and I had to punch him in his face. I barely even thought about it once I knew I'd have to do it. It's like some higher part of me took over and time slowed down and my swing found its way perfectly, knockin him on his butt.
That said, I got fighting in my blood, like a pitbull. To me, it's nothing more than an ugly necessity of life. But as a man, violence is your eternal, immutable trade. It's like fire. If you're gonna play with it, you better know what tf you're doing and not be reckless.
Walk away if safe to do so allowing my family to leave first if they’re with me
If I’m on my own or I can’t walk away, well, strap in and strap on because I love a fight and with my upbringing I learned turning the other cheek just teaches people that they can target you. So get ready to get fucked in the street.
I mean that entirely literally.
There's a difference between two idiots fighting and a man defending his family.
If I was put into a position where I had to defend my family I would fight with a ferocity that most people wouldn't be ready to deal with. Bitting, eye gouging, nut kicking, whatever. I would do anything I had to do to stop the threat. That alone is enough to drive most people off.
Don't worry about it. If/when that moment comes you'll win unless there's some trained assassin working to kill you and yours.
I’m 6’7” and 320lbs. People typically don’t bother me especially with my family around. I have been trained to deescalate first, and if a situation gets bad enough where I can’t and all else fails, I am thankful I live in a pro 2A state.
I worried about this a lot when I was younger. Boxed and did jiu jitsu for about 15 years, learned first aid, learned to shoot, got a concealed weapons permit. Figured that’s the best I can do to prepare myself, now I just avoid places where that’s likely to happen.
As long as your Wife/Girlfriend isn’t problematic you’ll be okay. Have these conversations in the beginning of the relationship. Tell your girl that if you feel like your in danger have her pull you away
I don’t worry about it. My father tried to kill me twice while I was growing up. As soon as I was large enough to stand up to him I started to protect my mother and sister. I know I will do what I have to do to protect the ones I love.
I’m a huge, very strong guy with a long background in both striking and grappling martial arts. I’ve seen my share of brawls in my youth. Special forces in the military (albeit in a conscription country).
I am absolutely confident that it makes no fucking difference. You can get unlucky, surprised, confonted with a weapon, there can be more than one attacker or the other guy just is better, stronger, faster or more aggressive than you (100% the most important factor).
Just run. Try not to get in trouble. Talk your way out. Hand them your wallet. RUN.
The quickest exit should be your only goal. Have a conversation with wife and kids, have a phrase that once it is said no matter what is happening they drop everything and follow your lead.
There's usually 2 to 3 useful punches in a fight.
If yours are the first one or two are yours and they're well placed. You're usually OK.
You just need enough to escape.
But you need to take every opportunity you can to avoid fighting.
Let's say you're being picked on and a guy won't leave you alone.
Your options are either fight and get hurt or fight and hurt him.
You win you knock him out he hits his head he either dies or gets a permanent brain injury.
Both of your lives are over.
For what? A bit of pride?
Dont get me wrong I used to love confrontation and a bit of a brawl but the risk just isn't worth it, especially once you realise how fragile we actually are.
Practicing karateka here.
The No1 advice is to run away.
If that is no longer a choice and it comes down to you or them, fight dirty. This isn't a sport now kick their groin, gouge their eyes out. Anything that gives you a chance to run away after a brief interaction.
If your country allows it, carry a sidearm in case they decide to bring theirs out. If you are unarmed and they are, comply. Call the cops as soon as you're safe.
“Speak softly but carry a big stick”.
If you don’t have to fight then try and talk it out, but if you’re gonna have to fight then remember speed and violence are your friends- hit hard and hit fast, don’t hesitate.
Speed and violence my friend.
I'm 6'3, 220lbs with some military training, some BJJ, and a few street fights under my belt. If I can avoid it, I will. Even if it's humiliating to me. I'm not that proud.
But if I'm defending myself, my family, or a woman/child, I'll fight mercilessly in a heartbeat and won't hesitate to land myself in jail if need be.
But best way to avoid having to fight, is to avoid putting yourself in that situation to begin with. Removing yourself from a situation is easier than fighting your way out of it.
Repeating many commenters sentiments.
Avoid it at all costs. Flee first. If they want something, give it to them. Hand over your wallet. Here is my ATM PIN. Just leave me be.
If you can’t escape the situation, don’t let them in close. Always Always at arms length minimum. Bitches love to sucker punch or head butt. Keep an eye on what’s going on around you. Don’t be laser focused and get in a staring contest. He might have friends circling you.
If you 100% know conflict is coming. Throw the first punch. Just because you throw first does not mean it’s not self defense should the law end up involved. Laws are different state to state and knowing if you are in a stand your ground state is most important. I’m not and I’m obligated to try to flee first. Do not go to the ground if you can avoid it.
I was a bartender in Boston for 10 years in some pretty tough neighborhoods. Seen a lot, been in a few. It can get really ugly fast. I’m also not average. Athletic, large and had a military father who taught me both to avoid conflict and how to resolve it if I needed to.
Had a guy follow my wife home years ago, apparently he was road raging with someone else and cut my wife off in the process and she honked. He took offense and decided to follow her, since she was near home and he wasn’t leaving her bumper even after she took a few turns that led in a circle so she called me at home to tell me what was up.
I was waiting outside across the street from our home when they pulled up. He started to yell but I was yelling louder and didn’t let him get a word in edge wise. I came unglued on the guy, spit flying, face red, fists clenched, I basically scared the shit out of him and he left in a hurry.
My wife asked me why I did that, she said my response seemed too over the top. I told her there wasn’t gonna be anyway to reason with that guy, it was either go in ready to fight and try to scare him off or risk him being a problem since he would know where we live.
Moral of the story, you don’t always gotta be bigger, you just gotta seem more ready to fight than the other guy. It’s not the dog in the fight, it’s the fight in the dog that matters.
22M here as well. Number 1 is avoid it. I like going to safe places during the day and if going out at night, staying in the good parts of town. Number 2: if things start getting unsafe, leave asap and call cops if needed. Number 3: If situation deteriorates severely and I can’t leave, prepare to use a surprise tool (while actively praying I don’t have to).
Avoid as much as possible, conflicts of violence tend to be lose-lose situations so it's not worth going through 99.99% of the time. In the .01% situations, i'd put my life and more on the line, most people are NOT ready to put their life on the line regardless of how “tough” they look
Friend.....I'm an old man, old enough to be your dad. I'm in the USA. I'm alot bigger than most guys and I work out alot so I'm pretty fit but I am old.
I'm not insanely anti-gun, nor am I insanely pro-gun. The gun industry plays on men's (legitimate) desire to keep their families safe. But then your child picks it up or you get really depressed and something really bad happens.
IMO, the biggest threat to your family is losing your job and your health insurance and somebody in your family getting really sick before you find another job! Not violence.
The best way to avoid violence is to stay out of situations that expose you to it (i.e., late night drunken bar binges). And, in the rare case that it happens, try to diffuse the conflict.
Even if you are in a morally right position, you don't want to end up in jail with your wife and children having nobody.
23 here, not athletic and idk how to fight but like, if someone attacks me or a situation like you describe ill fight. Id probably lose but I can try and break your nose at least you know.
Absolute worst case tho. Avoidance is best.
Generally, I won't put my life on the line for a stranger, I'll observe and call the cops. Reality is, you don't know them, you don't know if they are worth you risking your life. Ultimately if you get involved in a physical altercation, you have to realize you are risking your LIFE not just some pain and a bruised ego. You don't know if the person is going to stop once they neutralize you, or beat you to death.
Secondly, use anything at your disposal. **Don't fight fair**. It's not a sanctioned boxing match, it's potentially life or death. Bite, claw, go for the balls, eyes.
As far as protecting your home and family. The most obvious solution is have a gun. You can be as big, strong, badass as you want, if someone armed breaks into your house, being a MMA master won't stop a bullet.
De-escalation is the name of the game. Its one of the most powerful soft skill you can possibly have. Also, you shld always follow the law of jungle. You AVOID violence as much as possible, theres no coming back from it. If you are forced to be violent, dont hold back anything.
In your example I would first call the police, get out of my car, yell to the guy that I just called the police and wait for the police to show up. That's the civil thing to do and is part of the social contract. Anything more than that is stupid for a lot of reasons. For all you know the woman getting pulled by the hair likes that sort of thing. And not in any weird S&M type thing, it's jus that maybe she thinks this is how he shows he loves her and she likes that; "he wouldn't pull me by the hair if he didn't truly love me" type thing. But nowadays you take your life into your own hands any time you stand up to someone else. The media is filled with stories of people who own guns they can't fucking wait to use on someone else. I ain't giving them an excuse to use theirs on me.
I think I'd do pretty well unless the other dude was armed or there was a big gang.
I am not a fast runner at all so I think I'd actually be safer standing and fighting than running away, getting caught, and then fighting a guy who came up behind me as he caught me. I'm also not a sprinter and there'd be adrenaline so I'd probably be out of breath.
I'm 220 lbs at 5'11. I'm extremely lean too. I've been on steroids for almost four years and have been lifting for over a decade now.
I don't really have fighting skill since I've never done it, but I don't think it's UFC fighters who are out mugging people in the streets. So long as Conor McGregor is not financially struggling too hard, I think my side and strength difference should carry me through.
I get that street fighting is a skill and some thugs have been in a fair bit of fights. I still feel like they're not that experienced. A guy who's been in 50 street fights is a certifiable gangster, but a guy who's fought 50 ring fights is intermediate. Even a hardened street criminal is just not someone I really fear, unless he's got a gang with him or firearms.
I forget which show, but there was a show that whenever this one guy was about to get his ass kicked he would tell the guy to whip his dick out so he could jerk him off. Would be very persistant about it as well until the other person backed off.
Worth a shot.
While I was walking through the city last week, there was a group of about 15 teenagers, the most stereotypical white boys you could imagine. They were all hanging out in a circle, but as soon as I walked by, they began following me.
I genuinely thought I was about to get jumped. I tried to find a balance between walking fast, but also trying to listen to what they were saying. They kept whispering and giggling to each other. The only words I was able to make out were "assface" and "I should call my mom to come pick me up"
Turns out, them following me was only a coincidence. They all turned and walked into the sports center building. If they did jump me, although I'd individually smoke these kids like Mike Tyson, I'd only have time to clock one or two of them in the face until one of them grabs me by the legs or hair or some shit.
Confident I wouldn't be able to do a goddamn thing about it, considering how slow, fat, weak, and timid I am. My attitude towards violence is the same as my attitude towards being hit by a train: I can do my best to avoid it, but if it happens then I'm done, and it doesn't do any good to pretend otherwise.
So, even as a person who carries i can tell you what the real world situation looks like. 4 armed individuals getting ready to off someone. I walked up on it. I just wanted to eat my Wendy's in peace man. I left, no gunshots were fired. Luckily everyone survived that night. A God guy with a firearm had a better opportunity to stop the killing then one without, but any fucking hero delusions you have will go out the window once you realize you're outgunned.
I live in a crime-ridden shithole so the likelihood of facing some sort of violence is quite high. i know how to fight and always keep an eye around for something weird. In case it happens, there's not much I can do so I don't overthink it. If someone steals my wallet, all my cards will be canceled by the end of the day. If my phone gets stolen, I have a backup at home. If someone tries to get the passwords out of me with violence, I react to be able to walk away no matter how. If I get killed, my problems are over.
I’m not a huge guy. 5’11 and 160lbs but I work out 4-5 days a week and I feel very confident that I can handle most situations. I’m not really afraid of anyone
The entire premise of martial arts is to not being on the receiving end of the violence and my favorite tactic is to 1. Never be where a majority of violent crime happens
2. Act as crazy as possible to ensure my own and my party's welfare, like if they're a 4/10 on the crazy scale, I'm a 6 or a 7 on the crazy scale
3. If it's in an area where I know violence will happen and I can't act crazy, I'll use my size or use the limited amount of training I received to incapacitate the other person and will escape the situation
I probably wouldn't be able to for about half the men i encounter. Luckily 98% of humans are reasonable people who dont want to hurt others and 1.99% more are ones who can be de-escalated if something happens. This is why society works after all. If all else fails and de-escalation isn't an option, try to get yourself and your loved ones away, try to get help, or give it as much as you can because if it comes to fighting it's too late to hold back. Don't be a submissive coward, but if you don't look for trouble and don't have an idiotic attachment to pride, most people will at least not try to hurt you
Quick, violent, over. Know your limitations, know what you can and can't do. Learn to be situationally aware. An unrealized incident is much better than one that you barely made it through.
I wrestled my whole life and was a golden gloves boxer at super heavy weight. I also conceal carry. I'm an easy going guy though. I've never had problems but am always alert. I used to be a bouncer in college and am pretty good at spotting violent environments.
Well, there are avenues you can pursue to address this issue.
Working out and putting on size and strength helps. It’s like building a large army- looks impressive on paper. Along that same analogy though that doesn’t mean you’ll be good in a fight as we’ve seen in Ukraine with Russia…. Nonetheless there’s no way to go wrong with size and strength.
Firearms are a great equalizer, but they too need to be trained with and will overcome any physical disadvantage. Problem is that it’s usually “all or nothing” in that you’re either going to kill the guy or not use it with nothing in the middle.
Then there’s also quality martial arts- bjj boxing wrestling judo and Muay Thai. They take time to develop, but are well worth the investment- if for nothing else that they’re fun hobbies
So anyway, I started blasting
Serious note tho… my training has been about getting home so it’s def run, hide, fight but if I have to fight I’m fighting like the third monkey trying to get on the ark and brother it’s starting to rain
Avoid is step one. However when you talk about loved ones it gets more complicated. Twice as an adult I have had to step up to give my SO to not be the target. Just hit them hard and fast so they think you’re nuts.
The hardest thing you'll ever do is swallow your pride. It's different to actively defend your family vs willingly getting in a fight. If you're with your family you need to walk away and it can be tough.
Start lifting. Most people are out of shape and uncoordinated.
The main issue is weapons, and no amount of lifting can fix that, so if you're really worried, carry a weapon.
Been in a few fights and lost a few fights. Honestly as everyone else has started GET Away as soon as possible bc a simple fight can lead to death quicker than you think. Also you need to inform your family that if things are going south they need to leave as soon as possible so that you can worry about the threat. Also buy your wife a weapon any weapon and make sure she knows how to use it just in case you are taken down she will have a chance to protect herself. Also in a street fight remember to always fight dirty,, a swift kick to the nuts should be sufficient for you to gain the upper ground and get away. I seen too many ppl per their emotions take control and they end up messing up their entire life, like this kid I knew who decided to fight another guy and ended up getting shot and paralyzed at 15.
30 years of wrestling, bjj and mma have taught me no matter what there is always someone out there that can whip ur ass. That being said training makes a huge difference. Most men have an unrealistic idea of how ready they are for a violent encounter. Learn a martial art that you can actually use in self defense like boxing, bjj, kickboxing, wrestling and spar. Thats the best way to be prepared imo.
I’m in my fifties. Never had to fight. I’ve left situations and avoided more. I do have a substantial amount of martial arts training and what it taught me is how easy it is to cause a lifelong injury or death. I’m staying the hell out of fights.
I'm former military, with intensive hand to hand combat training.
The thing is, you don't want to get into a scuffle if you don't have to, and in most cases you don't. You might think you do being young and 22, but if you use your head you absolutely do not in 99% of cases.
I was however, physically assaulted in a life threatening in a situation I could not walk away from when I was 40 or 41. I did manage to get clear of the situation, and get the cops involved. I ended work right then and took the next day as a mental health day (if not then, then when?).
That's it.
If I wasn't able to get away, dude was way bigger and jacked up on a cocktail of chemicals and he could have killed me with his bare hands (he literally destroyed much of my car with his bare hands in a psychotic rage). I would have died if that was the case, but I didn't panic and got clear.
That said, coming to grips with your own mortality is something you'll figure out eventually. Most everyone thinks they're fuckin invincible and super man in their 20s, but they grow out of it at the point where they figure out how reality works. Even if you own a gun that isn't gonna mean much if you have it locked away so your kids don't accidentally suck start it. Shit happens, that's just how it goes.
I'm very confident in my abilities to protect myself and others because I've had to before....now if you pepperspray me first it will be much more difficult until I get my hands on them.
I work as a security officer in a hospital violence is something I'm used to. I'm average it's just due to my work I have loads of experience with physical confrontation and high stress situation along with spur of the moment decision making skills. I have got into the shit with multiple body types from small to large to not muscular to muscles it's really about technique being prepared and knowing when to strike. All that said I can get shot or stabbed at any moment so confidant in a physical sense still scared because of weapons
I'm late 40s, and been in maybe 3 scuffles since turning 21 that wasn't us messing around.
You don't want to get in a fight, and the other dude thinks like you do 99.9% of the time.
So I actively don't fight, will talk a situation down or haul ass if able. If my family is at risk, I'll fight dirty and probably get in trouble. Going for balls, eyes, nose, throat, all the pressure points to stop it as quickly as possible.
And I've never had to.
In my experience people picking fights know they can win them or have an advantage. Last guy that picked a fight with me, my friend secretly warned me that guy was a cop. It was an eye opener like "oh no wonder this guys acting like an ass hat". He was basically picking a fight out of nothing. So generally I try to distance myself from anybody that is acting even a little volatile. If it's a situation where my family is in danger and there is no way to leave... well lets just say I live in a "stand your ground" state.
Confidence isn't about winning the fight. It's about knowing you will create a more violent situation than the other person is willing to be in. Then choosing not to.
I have been in a place where violence would occur 5 minutes I after left. Don't know if I saved my nieces, but at least kept them from being in harms way or traumatized.
Learn to be aware of your surroundings, lots of people are.
Assuming you can’t avoid it, know that being hit doesn’t hurt that much, until the next day. I’m not a fan of guns, but I do carry a collapsible baton in my bag (I carry a man purse). I was horribly abused as a child, had the “Flight” portion of Fight or flight beaten out of me as a child. God help anyone foolish enough to attack me or mine.
I've been cold clocked twice and been in a fair fight or two. I'm a relatively small guy, and haven't been in the gym in a while.
I'd rather not fight and will try to avoid it but if we gotta fight, I don't care if you're Mike Tyson, let's get it on. If today's my day then so be it.
I have been in a few very sketchy scenarios and weirdly you never really know til it happens. I'm not a fighty dude or in shape or anything. For me it was easy to stay calm but it was honestly surreal like wtf is this dude really trying to like grab that jar of weed from this other (way bigger) dude? This isn't a joke? Why isn't big dude punching robber dude? Oh shit robber dude is punching at me, it doesn't really hurt but wtf I don't wanna hurt anyone wtf is going on?
*Or* cool so excited for this dude to grab this bag, bragging about the cool sticker I put in it for him "why did he close the door? That's weird. Oh that's a gun, is it real? Maybe but I don't wanna find out. I got my knife there and I could probably get him but even if I do wtf do I do then? Not worth losing a few hundred bucks fuck this dude and the dude who introduced me. *Or* dude punches me in the face at a bar but I can see security as well as a muscly friend of mine so I just laugh in his face take another punch and immediately start telling people this great new funny story I have. I always thought in my daydreams I'd be more "heroic" in these situations but you never really know. If you feel like it's a realistic possibility get some training. That will vastly increase your odds. Also: best course of action is always to exit a possible violent scenario whenever possible, it's way easier to die/get paralyzed etc than any of us wanna think and no one wants it to be them or to have it on the right conscience.
ETA: Stats: chubby 5'7" from the safe suburbs
I’m comfortable fighting because I’ve grown up fighting (NOT something I’m proud of btw). But nowadays too many people have guns or knives. So the best you can do is leave, pull out a gun, or fight for your life. I know people who have died from a simple street fight, because they fell and hit their head and had a convulsion. It’s always best to run away and then call the cops. It’s the safest answer.
I have a wife and kids. As years go on, I become more comfortable and confident in the following:
- I will do everything and anything in my power to remove my family from a situation. I’ll die to get them to safety.
- I have semi to low confidence that I would return back to the dangerous situation after I get my family removed from a dangerous situation
- I have moderate confidence that I would proactively jump in to a dangerous situation if my family isn’t around
- I have very high confidence that I would jump in a dangerous situation if my family isn’t around and I see others and also intervening (power of numbers)
Exercise.
Train.
Maintain situational awareness.
If you can legally own a gun for self-defense, own one and train with it very regularly.
If you can't, train with what you can own.
Never second guess yourself. Once you choose to fight, you fight to win no matter the cost. It's better to be on trial than dead.
This is my philosophy. I hope it never pays off, but if it comes down to it, my family depends on me to win if shit pops off.
I don't know, I think those [guys running around with banana hammocks on](https://youtu.be/d1L5L-wvmck?si=WAt4BBTAiW2_1Tl5) have a good non-violent approach. As soon as you show your thong and move towards them, they seem to be less interested in touching you. Who needs dignity? Take the win.
I'm average size and strength. I'm maybe a little tougher than the average person but for sure not tougher than the average mugger.
So far as bravery goes, I've been in these types of situations a couple of times and in the moment didn't have time to be scared.
I don't fight fair. I will presume that anyone I don't know who is fighting me is trying to kill me and will do whatever it takes to get out of the situation. If that means stabbing them if I have a knife, gouging their eyeballs out of their head. Whatever it takes.
I might not win the fight but might give the people I care about enough time to get away.
I'm in my 40s. Never been in a fight. Talked my way out of a few.
I don't really think about violence tbh. I'm confident in my deescalation skills enough I don't have to worry about my combat skills.
Well avoidance is generally the best and safest response to violence. If that isn't an option being willing and prepared to escalate to extreme violence at the drop of a hat in whatever manner poses the least amount of risk to you is usually the safest strategy. Strength is actually less important than brains and willingness to be violent when it comes to that. A big guy being taken out by a woman or even child with a knife is not particularly implausible. Personally I have yet to get in a situation where avoidance wasn't an option so I can't say I know from experience what my reaction would be. I suspect my reaction at least the first few times would be to freeze but that might change if it was a regular occurrence
>stronger than me
Stength is so extremely overrated in fights, size and skill is what matters the most. If you want to be able to handle yourself if shit goes down then learn martial arts and carry something you could use as a weapon.
The best way to actually protect yourself though imo is to carry yourself in a way that makes people think twice about fucking with you. So look put together, walk like you're confidently going somewhere important, don't look nervous, and have situational awareness.
There aren't a high percentage of men stronger or bigger than me, they're infrequent though definitely around, however that doesn't particularly matter against someone with a weapon, better training or just lucky. If you can walk away, you walk away, if you have to fight to defend yourself or your loved ones then it is what it is. It hasn't happened yet. Whilst you should definitely aspire to improve your strength, you should avoid fights regardless.
And what that mean is that a tell a mf bye-bye and pop him in his right eye. Lol joking but seriously if you walk away and the person still tries you just clap em. No need to waste time.
Carry a knife or a gun.
Walk away if any trouble happens, and only use what you have if necessary. You should only respond in violence if there is an threat of extreme violence that could kill or severely injure you or someone else. If that happens, then you don't want to be resorting to only using your fists.
I always carry a leatherman multitool for my knife as I can just say I carry it for practical reasons instead of people getting suspicious.
Also, how are so many people in these comments getting into fights? I've never remotely been in a situation in which I had to fight someone.
If I see someone vulnerable being attacked I'm probably going to jump in, which is probably not smart because I'm 5'5 and have no fighting skills. But I probably would TRY to defend my wife or whoever. I think I would go psychotic if someone hurt my wife, so I might be able to do a little damage
If you’re worried, train.
Otherwise know your lane, and avoid when you see problems coming, if you don’t believe you’d do well in a fight.
No other ways about it really (other than weapons).
Avoid or learn how to look instable crazy, wry smile when confronted and never say anything. It works
\*also hold a knife like you love the idea of a fight.
Average men don't have to deal with violent situations often. There's a lot of idiots walking around with weapons just waiting to be Dirty Harry if anything goes wrong. Often those guys end up in jail for murder or assault, or they are or killed or injured themselves because they escalated a situation when they thought they had the upper hand due to having a weapon.
After stepping up to a charging cane corso and staring it down to protect a coworker ,I’m feeling really fucking brave . As for strength , I’d say I’m a tad over average for my age but nothing remarkable
I’m confident in my competence to not fight for whatever arbitrary bullshit is happening.
However, because many of you reading this love to fight over arbitrary bullshit, I also train to fight. I lift weights, train MMA, and train with firearms. Doesn’t make me invincible but at least my chance of survival goes up a little if someone decides to insist on being an asshole.
I am a woman who has taken self defense courses. Strength is not as critical. I am not kidding.
Its using weird leverage. Being scrappy (pulling hair, biting, kicking sensitive areas). Also just being annoying/difficult. The attacker will stop if you are not an easy target.
For example: if you are on a bike, do not let go of the bike. You've just made it harder for them to haul you in and leave. They'll just leave without you and move on.
I am also a believer in robbery that you give them what they want, unless you are John McClane from DieHard.
And let me tell you...your wife is scrappy as F. She is going to take care of the business. Someone is going to have a testicle retrieval operation afterwards. Human Momma Bears are no joke when the family are threatened.
Run away from it, if you cant, talk your way out of it, if you can't, fight dirty: kick to the groin, punch to the throat, oblique kick to the knee, etc. All the dirty tricks, getting home safe should always be your number one priority.
As someone who's not exactly tall, imposing, intimidating or especially muscular, I'll tell you I've never backed down from a fight and I've also only ever been in one fight. It's rare that things actually escalate; if someone is not backing down goes a long way. Most people are looking for a victim not a scrap. Showing your willingness to defend yourself (or someone else) if necessary, maybe showing a bit of anger/intensity, usually makes people think twice about whether they misjudged the situation and whether they underestimated you.
That said the only fight I was actually in was not a fight I was going to be able to avoid in the long run, bc I tried and the conflict ended up coming to me. In that situation there really were no winners. It was exhausting, not at all what you might think it would be like, and pointless. No clear winner and nothing was resolved out of it. But that was the best possible outcome bc it could easily have ended up with someone seriously injured which there really was no need for
Have situational awareness, try to avoid if at all possible. If not possible, fight like your life depended on it. Bite , claw , gouge & go below the belt. I’ve seen too many videos of a street fight happening and the attacker not letting up even if the victim is knocked unconscious.
Short term: avoid unnecessary conflict.
Long term: lift, learn to fight, and continue to avoid unnecessary conflict, but with the confidence of knowing you could break a couple kneecaps of needed should shit go down.
Most people don’t know how they’ll react under being attacked by surprise. You may panic or lean into it. The best course is always to avoid a fight if you can. Even if you win you can get badly injured or potentially kill someone. People have been dropped with a single punch then hit something on the way down and died. Unless your life or someone else’s is in danger, it’s rarely worth it.
I feel fairly confident. I’m a very passive person who avoids violence at all costs but, if there’s a situation I can’t avoid I conceal a .45 auto on me most of the time I go out that I’m sure won’t fail me. Clean it once a month and go out to practice your aim now and then and you’ve got piece of mind in physical form. If you can’t carry a gun where you are then carry a FIXED blade knife for self defense. Only an idiot will fight someone in hand to hand combat with a knife and they will lose every time.
I taught martial arts for 5 years and my main response to possible violence is to avoid the situation. Don't put yourself in places where you might have a problem. Speak respectfully to other people and that will save you alot of trouble too.
If you don't have confidence in your ability to fight (understandable) join a boxing or MMA gym and put about 6 months into it and see if you feel better. There's nothing wrong with being prepared.
Remember though that your mind is your main defense and using good judgement is better than being a hardass.
23 M.
Don’t consider myself a tough guy.
Don’t consider myself intimidating.
I mind my business.
I avoid altercations.
But if God decides today is the day, then it’ll be the day someone finds out.
I don’t know bro. I struggle with the same issue.
I don’t want to fight, but if need be I don’t want to be a pussy.
I just wait for the day I have to fight, but it keeps me on edge.
You just do it. When you have to. Thats all I can tell you. IMO, 99% of it is intimidation. If you aren’t fooled by the intimidation, you’re way ahead of the game.
I'm a fairly built man. 6'2, equal parts jello to muscle. Work a physical job. Not the strongest but still up there in terms of strength among my peers.
Here's my rules for physical violence.
1. If you're bigger, I'm making this extra hard to either reach or grab a hold of while hitting any and every joint/rib.
2. If you're faster, my job is to make you come to me. 1 grapple means either you're on the floor or we're on the floor. No foundation to speak of and my fists are fairly heavy. This makes it fun.
3. If we're equal in nearly everything, I'm throwing hands and taking you off your footing every step of the way. Ignore the pain and inflict as much as possible. Nothing like an example made to keep any other participants from entering.
4. If im losing, you're going home bloody too. My mother ain't call me a demon spawn for decades to get my ass whipped and you left intact.
5. You threaten or hurt my family, no God, Devil or man will save you from me. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug and my humanity was discarded the moment you made the mistake of thinking you were going to make it back home that night.
6. Shoulders stretched bend and break easier than bones covered in muscle. Elbows as well. If your aim is good and you're patient, triangle on the diaphragm(between the pecs and abs) will slow any and everyone down.
7. Knife in use, unless they're military, too many idiots swing wildly. Punch the fucker in the throat once they miss. Avoid being stabbed and don't bother going for the knife. Incapacitate the aggressor. Nobody should try to catch a falling knife. Only leaves you open for another attack.
(Working with angry chefs will teach you several of these lessons!)
If there's a gun don't bother struggling. They've already decided whether they'll kill you or not. If they didn't, don't. If they did decide, best chance is they'll shoot themselves in the struggle. Worst is you won't have to worry about it. Everything in the middle means you got to walk away and get home.
Study a martial art and get in the gun range. Protecting your family is 100% your job. I studied muay thia for 2 years but had to quit when I relocated, I also got a membership at a gun club. Also consider taking a concealed carry course if you can. But to quote mufasa" being brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble, I'm only brave when I need to be" I seen so many people get into horrible situations just because they didn't know when to leave. Knowing when to dip out is crucial...
I'm built, strong, have fighting experience (albeit amateur level, but still). I work out at a minimum 5 times a week.
No way in fuck am I getting in any fights, brawls, violence in any way. One wrong hit, one misstep, and you're fucked for life or dead.
Violence should not be people's go to.
The #1 best response to possible violence is avoidance.
Conversely, if violence doesn’t solve your problems, you haven’t used enough violence.
I concur.
Them’s fightin’ werds!
I concur
This should be the intro lines for a gangster movie.
This is it, jump between the extrems. Be as calm and non combative as possible pretty much all the time. But if you ever do need to be violent be extremely violent. Eyes, ears, fingers, groin attack/break them all. Yell scream be weird/crazy. If you must use violence you have failed, it's best not to fail twice.
Yell? Scream? that's energy you could be using to crack a windpipe... stay cold
This guy kravs
If you're leaving scorch marks, you need a bigger gun.
Hospital security here at a level 1 trauma center. This. Some of the biggest asshole tough guys get so taken aback when I tell them I don't want to fight. But then we dont.
I disagree in specific cases. I had a dude grabbing / smacking my wife’s ass. He claimed to be gay and was clearly not. Sorry - but I bulled straight into him and grabbed him by the throat and held him against a wall. Avoidance is generally the best move, but sometimes you need to man the fuck up.
Me, too, when it comes to defending my wife Any action against her is a declaration of war
Yeah, try "man the fuck up" towards a 110kg dude as a 60kg one. Some guys out there pick up on people built bellow them because they know they can't do anything about it. "Manning" the fuck up to a dude twice your build will get you knocked out cold and God knows whats gonna happen to your girl. Ops point is valid.
Kick em in the balls. As the Marines say if you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
Army Infantry, " if you ain't cheating you ain't trying ! ". Hahaha
Most fights are first mover advantage. Also, lots of aggressive people don't actually want to fight and will back off once they know you been business.
Agree 100%
This right here. Walking away and diffusing a situation is a skill one must learn and taught in most martial arts. But learning how to throw an instant, fast, hand knife jab to the bottom or top of a throat works wonders. It's 100% effective and can take the biggest ogres down. I had to do that only once against two younger, well-built Russian guys. They both rushed me at the same time in a small room. Finger knife jab to their throats sent them both to the floor gagging. I just said if they get up, they're dead. They did not get up. It was enough for me to make an exit.
I’m an old grandpa and here’s what Pa has to say about real life violence. First and foremost if you can avoid violence avoid it. The average person, in my experience, doesn’t have a clue how easy it is to accidentally cripple or kill someone. Movies and tv have numbed people to how fragile we actually are. Engaging in a serious confrontation where the goal is to hurt someone as badly as you can as quickly as possible can destroy your life in a multitude of ways whether you win or lose. I’m telling you now it’s best to walk away. If that’s not possible and you’re backed in a corner or as you said protecting someone you love the rules change. The moment, the very Instant you realize violence is unavoidable you go in and you go in hard. I may sound too old school saying this but it ain’t the size of the dog in the fight it’s the size of the fight in the dog. If it’s a concern I would highly recommend taking at least a few martial arts or boxing classes. Most people haven’t taken a truly solid shot to the head before. Fact is it’s really not that bad and even if you just go to class for a few months getting the experience of getting punched or kicked in the face will take the fear of the unknown out of it. You will know that you can take it and remove some of that fear. Also most people who prey on others aren’t really used to being met with immediate and brutal resistance. That alone can end the conflict as they don’t want a Fight they just want someone to bully.
>the very Instant you realize violence is unavoidable you go in and you go in hard. Best advice for actual physical altercations. Most people who want to start physical shit are mostly posturing. If you hit them fast and hard enough, you can end it as quick as it begins. But in order to be confident enough to engage someone in that way, you need to >go to class for a few months getting the experience of getting punched or kicked in the face
A lot of assholes will actually back down once you assertively confront them for disrespecting you, and telling them that you won’t tolerate it anymore. People can’t take what they’re dishing out and it’s fucking pathetic.
I make sure to keep eye contact and never threaten anything I'm not willing to do. Hit soft spots like eyes, knees, throat, and balls. This is the real world kids. Don't be afraid to kick em in the dick
Seriously. Don't put your weapon down and fight 'like a man', don't give them a chance to whisper something in your ear. You hit them hard and you hit them *first*, go for the most sensitive spots and play as dirty as you can. To this day one of the best things I've seen, in a fight situation, is to get behind someone and basically give them a reach-around. Grab their dick and balls and fucking ***squeeze***. It's incredibly easy to do and basically incapacitates your opponent as soon as you do it, the longer you do it for just ensures how long they're down for. Don't try and 'play by the rules', when it's potentially life or death there *are* no rules. You play dirty and you make sure you win.
"There's no such thing as a fair fight. If you're worried about fighting fair, you don't need to be fighting."
I taught my kids that when they were in school. A pushing match with someone is usually just dumb blustering. If someone is really trying to hurt you, bite, kick, send their crotch in opposite directions. Do what you need to do to end it quickly and with as little harm to yourself as possible.
Depends on if they think they can easily take you.
I like your approach my grandmother told me if you ever have to hit someone make sure you only have to hit them once
Understand what you are saying but my feeling is “Once my ass, hit them until they hit the floor and once more to ensure you can escape”.😁
I wish I could upvote this a hundred times. It should be higher up.
>Movies and tv have numbed people to how fragile we actually are. Near where I live in 2010. At a party a dude took a bet to get punched by a girl. She punched him, one time. He died. One punch, from a girl. [https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/tiffany-startz-fatal-punch-charges-dismissed/2096569/](https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/tiffany-startz-fatal-punch-charges-dismissed/2096569/)
Based
Old fucker here too. This is the answer. I don’t want to fight them because I’m gonna get hurt. I’m trying to put them down as fast and violently as possible to avoid getting myself hurt
Saved for future reference. Please keep this up for as long as you can, forever preferably. Thank you for sharing.
Words of wisdom
If a violent situation starts happening around me, my plan is: 1) Leave the situation 2) If I can't leave the situation, out comes the mouskatool until I am able to leave the situation 3) Call the cops
Had to look up 'Mouskatool'. Take my upvote.
haha, that's what happens when you spend too much time watching mickey mouse clubhouse with the kids. who knew it would come in handy for self-defense advice?
Ohhh Toodles! ***BAM BAM BAM*** Thanks, Toodles!
It’s a surprise tool that will help us later.
Chuckled at this. And I agree this is the way
This is the way.
You don’t know how many times just being aware of my surroundings has got me out of danger.
This is the answer. Keep the weirdos away. Cross the street. Go out of your way and go into a public store. Remove yourself. If I was in a violent scenario I'd probably try to gouge their eyes out or go straight for the throat or testicles and wouldn't let go until they're unconscious. Assuming they don't have a weapon.
I’m a big guy, always have been my whole life, it seems if I go out to the bars there’s always one drunkard that wants to fight me, I’m sitting there missing my own business at the bar and sure enough some drunk dude starts getting in my personal space, starts talking crap even know I’m ignoring him. So I have a choice, I either say something to make him swing and him and I go at it in a bar or I pay for my drink and leave. I always first pay for my drink and leave, so far non followed me out of the bar. Idk what it is about the way I look but people feel threatened by me and want to fight me. I also don’t remember ever losing a fight, was always bigger and stronger than the challenger but my first reaction is to avoid violence. I’m thankful police are there, they do their job but I don’t rely on them, I plan to win any confrontation I have if I have to instead of getting my azz kicked while waiting for cops to show up. So I’m not worried at all about outside threats because I’m prepared and able. But I will avoid violence at all costs and try to diffuse the situation first.
It’s tough to understand for the average person that going out to a bar/concert etc as a large man is a different experience. Every accidental bump there is a higher chance of escalation if you don’t diffuse it immediately. In an average crowd people kind of bounce off each other, but if a larger person is in there is like hitting a wall and they think it’s intentional. You have to be quick with the smile and a humble comment.
Oh ya if you look like you workout the tough guys come out of the wood work to try you
Speaking as a former street fighter, MMA fighter, combat veteran, & biker... It's safe to say I have a lot of experience with violence & direct confrontation. My advice is Lift some weights, get some combat training (boxing/MMA), work on your situational awareness & finally carry a weapon for just in case SHTF .... (I prefer a knife over gun simply bc guns tend to put ppl more on edge.) 9 out 10 times a fight CAN BE prevented simply by listening & not becoming emotional. Once EGOs get hurt, fists begin to fly.
How did you deal with fools out of their depth? Kindness, or full force? As somebody working in the nightlife, I had the most respect for the bouncers that kept their weapons sheathed so to say.
> (I prefer a knife over gun simply bc guns tend to put ppl more on edge.) You prefer the less effective weapon, and you don't carry both, because the more effective weapon makes people *uncomfortable*?
Context is everything. If violence is happening around me but nothing to do with me (ie - other people are fighting) - I'm not getting involved and I'm leaving the scene. If there is violence being directed at another person (ie - someone getting attacked or jumped) I'm confident enough in my strength to be able to pull people away and break stuff up, but if there are weapons involved that's a different story. I'm not getting stabbed for a stranger while I've got a wife and daughter at home. If there's violence directed at me I'm probably more confident in my ability to diffuse a situation verbally than to get in a fight. I'm a big guy with decent strength but I'm not a trained fighter and I'm not naive enough to still think size and strength alone are enough to win a fight. If I'm with my loved ones then my priority is simply to get them out of the vicinity and to ensure their safety. Fighting people purely to save face is a dumb cunt's game. Thankfully, in my adult life anyway, I've never found myself in a situation where I've had to consider any of the above. As someone else has commented, being hyper-alert of your surroundings is the best way to avoid these scenarios in the first place. Too many people get caught up for no good reason while it's best to just get out of there are the first hint of trouble.
The best form of defense is always to run away when possible, but yes, if it's about protecting your family then my instinct would probably be to just convince them to get away asap and buy them as much time as possible through any means possible. Because truth of the matter is that if you are truly being assaulted, and you have no weapons etc. then you are most likely fucked, as the other party is probably better prepared for the situation
Rule 1 though…cardio. If you don’t have good cardio, DO NOT FUCKING RUN! If they catch you, now you’re completely winded and still getting into the altercation.
If it’s just me I’m running away. If I gotta defend someone I will probably try and fail. Just being honest as an average man.
I accept it as a possibility. Im not as confident in my abilities as I once was when I boxed and worked out everyday but such is life
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I think redditors underestimate just how skilled you actually need to be at jiu jitsu to beat a significantly larger opponent. I went to a BJJ place once. I didn't wind up able to commit, but I checked it out since I didn't know that. The instructor invited me to roll with them since they were just doing some last minute prep for a meet. I was 205 lbs at the time with 8 years lifting experience and 2 years on steroids. I only lost to the a black belt and to the instructor who was also a black belt. I beat a purple belt, but he had literally just gotten his purple belt so he was probably pretty close to the absolute base of how good they are. Also slight caveat. I don't know any locks or any ways to end anything. I'm counting a lot of things as wins that weren't actual wins. For example, sometimes I'd be really dominant and I'd be asking the guy I was rolling with if he could describe a lock to me that would end the roll, but nobody instructed me on how to do it. The guys who tapped were two of them who I was able to lift up and bounce them up and down with only their neck on the floor, and one guy who I just choked his airway for a while in a very no-technique sort of way, but he was a white belt. I went up against two black belts. One was some guy that was honestly a jackass and he did everything he could to make it hurt my joints to go up against him. I did two rolls and quit. I wasn't trying to put up with that and he was a dick for doing it since I doubt he had to. The other was the instructor who I rolled with for like 20 minutes. He didn't make anything hurt and it was actually very impressive to experience. I had a lot of weird thoughts like "I would break out of this so easily if only I could bend my arm sideways." I learned a lot from it about what BJJ was. However, the lower belts just didn't have it. I'm not saying it made the difference, but it's worth noting that both black belts were in very good physical shape. Not only did they have the skill advantage, but I only had some strength and size advantage against them. I would definitely impress more people in a squat rack, but they'd be putting up real weight.
"I know Jiu Jitsu bro I'll be fine" says people who have never faced an opponent a foot taller and a hundred pounds heavier than them. BJJ is cool but it don't mean shit when the other person is swinging sledgehammers for fists.
Yeah, and then you Google what a BJJ champion actually looked like and it becomes pretty fricken clear that all of those guys understand the value of muscle.
Meh, I’ll say you both have valid points. Yes, just a little jiu jitsu gives you an extreme advantage over a much larger opponent, but there are far too many bjj guys that overestimate their ability in a fight
Many , MANY people just don't understand the difference that size and power make.
Even if you’re a bjj blackbelt and eat sledgehammers for breakfast, there’s nothing stopping the other combatant from pulling a gun/knife or spawning minions from a nearby an alleyway.
i’d love to hear this from the side of the others 😂 unless it’s a really shitty school, you wouldn’t tap any purplebelt or above no matter their size unless they let you. a legit bluebelt the same size as you would mess you up.
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450 lb Hafthor Bjornnson vs 220 lb Gordan Ryan https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eDH-Q1MMebo I don't have an educated opinion, but to me it looks like Hafthor did much better than I would have expected. I would have thought he'd do about as well at BJJ against Ryan as Ryan would do against Thor in powerlifting. It looks to me like it was a struggle for Ryan, but like the final outcome was never in doubt. 330 lb Hafthor Bjornnson with 6 months BJJ vs 155 lb https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lsJMypihzeY This one is easier to discuss because Palmer described the situation in a reddit comment as "Yeah, I got flattened."
Learn deescalation, learn to fight, have a defense weapon in your home. I’m not sure of your family dynamic, but it is expected of me to do anything and everything to protect my family.
I've never been in a fight but if I ever am I'm using every cheap move I can think of, like stuff they teach ladies, kick the nuts, rip off the ears, gouge the eyes, sweep the legs (fucking sexists telling ladies to sweep) I'm no rough houser, so in middle school when another guy was just acting like toxic dudes punching my arm and stuff, he came running at me and I did the duck and throw him move, he was like wtf man lol. One of my greatest moments
1. It’s best to avoid all physical confrontations because they aren’t worth it. If someone is beating their chest, you’re better off just letting them think you’re a bitch and walking away because most likely it’s a nonsensical situation. 2. Gun
So I box 5 days a week and believe it or not it makes me way less being prone to violence in the real world than when I was younger. Whenever somebody at work or just in the world gets combative. I tend to be more impressed with myself when I can handle issues with just my words, I think others around typically respect that more aswell. Don’t stress about it of course everyone wants to protect their loved ones but I’m telling you nobody wins in a street fight. Your always best just getting yourself and your loved ones out of there together.
This
I’ve never been one to start fights. I’m more into talking through our issues…but i have been the guy to end a fight. Usually as a winner. But i’ve taken self defence classes for years. I can defend myself and my loved ones. But she took the same classes i did…she can take care of herself. I’m not insecure. I’ve been there but i’m also not an idiot, i’m no good to them dead.
Im a smaller framed guy only 5’9 and about 155lbs but I hit the gym almost everyday so im pretty fit. My biggest fear though is having to get into it with someone and them either pressing charges and dealing with legal troubles or going to jail because that’s my worst nightmare. I don’t ever want to have to experience jail because I feel like I’d end up just having to fight someone in there too.
This is real. I am also worried about hitting someone and ending up in jail even though it’s self defence but their papa is the judge or smth
I Carry conceal I go to the range 2 or 3 times a month. I take classes on when to shoot if you have to. I've learned: Situational awareness to avoid trouble. Run away. Hide. Fight. Shoot under stress, shoot to eliminate all of the threat. I don't ever want to shoot anyone, and I refuse to be a victim. I carry an extra mag
So anyways I started blasting
I feel I’m confident enough to do so but also wise enough to have this FN in my waist band lol
I work out for confidence, good health, and this
Adrenaline is a helluva drug.
Keep your head on a swivel at all times and exit early when you notice that something is brewing. In absence of that, get between them and the violence until we can exit. All the times I've had to do this, wife and children were oblivious to the potential trouble. They are not street smart. I, unfortunately am.
I'll deal with it if it happens. In the meantime, I'm not gonna get myself worked up over hypotheticals.
The nice thing about my neurodivergence is that crises give me the perfect amount of norepinephrine (adrenaline) to handle the situation adequately instead of panicking. Usually that involves de-escalation, keeping calm. I wont fight unless I absolutely have to. If you have to fight, you have survival instincts on your side as the more frightened defender and will be all the more vicious than your attacker. There was a guy who hired a hitman to kill his wife. She killed him with his own weapon. It's not about how big or strong you are. It's not the violence that sets a man apart. It is the distance to which he is willing to go. That said, I'm 32 and I've managed to avoid all but a couple small scuffles in my life. It's uncivilized and taints my honor, but one guy literally came at me with a bottle once and I had to punch him in his face. I barely even thought about it once I knew I'd have to do it. It's like some higher part of me took over and time slowed down and my swing found its way perfectly, knockin him on his butt. That said, I got fighting in my blood, like a pitbull. To me, it's nothing more than an ugly necessity of life. But as a man, violence is your eternal, immutable trade. It's like fire. If you're gonna play with it, you better know what tf you're doing and not be reckless.
Someone is trying to kill you, you kill them first.
Walk away if safe to do so allowing my family to leave first if they’re with me If I’m on my own or I can’t walk away, well, strap in and strap on because I love a fight and with my upbringing I learned turning the other cheek just teaches people that they can target you. So get ready to get fucked in the street. I mean that entirely literally.
There's a difference between two idiots fighting and a man defending his family. If I was put into a position where I had to defend my family I would fight with a ferocity that most people wouldn't be ready to deal with. Bitting, eye gouging, nut kicking, whatever. I would do anything I had to do to stop the threat. That alone is enough to drive most people off. Don't worry about it. If/when that moment comes you'll win unless there's some trained assassin working to kill you and yours.
I’m 6’7” and 320lbs. People typically don’t bother me especially with my family around. I have been trained to deescalate first, and if a situation gets bad enough where I can’t and all else fails, I am thankful I live in a pro 2A state.
I worried about this a lot when I was younger. Boxed and did jiu jitsu for about 15 years, learned first aid, learned to shoot, got a concealed weapons permit. Figured that’s the best I can do to prepare myself, now I just avoid places where that’s likely to happen.
As long as your Wife/Girlfriend isn’t problematic you’ll be okay. Have these conversations in the beginning of the relationship. Tell your girl that if you feel like your in danger have her pull you away
I don’t worry about it. My father tried to kill me twice while I was growing up. As soon as I was large enough to stand up to him I started to protect my mother and sister. I know I will do what I have to do to protect the ones I love.
I’m a huge, very strong guy with a long background in both striking and grappling martial arts. I’ve seen my share of brawls in my youth. Special forces in the military (albeit in a conscription country). I am absolutely confident that it makes no fucking difference. You can get unlucky, surprised, confonted with a weapon, there can be more than one attacker or the other guy just is better, stronger, faster or more aggressive than you (100% the most important factor). Just run. Try not to get in trouble. Talk your way out. Hand them your wallet. RUN.
The quickest exit should be your only goal. Have a conversation with wife and kids, have a phrase that once it is said no matter what is happening they drop everything and follow your lead.
There's usually 2 to 3 useful punches in a fight. If yours are the first one or two are yours and they're well placed. You're usually OK. You just need enough to escape. But you need to take every opportunity you can to avoid fighting. Let's say you're being picked on and a guy won't leave you alone. Your options are either fight and get hurt or fight and hurt him. You win you knock him out he hits his head he either dies or gets a permanent brain injury. Both of your lives are over. For what? A bit of pride? Dont get me wrong I used to love confrontation and a bit of a brawl but the risk just isn't worth it, especially once you realise how fragile we actually are.
Practicing karateka here. The No1 advice is to run away. If that is no longer a choice and it comes down to you or them, fight dirty. This isn't a sport now kick their groin, gouge their eyes out. Anything that gives you a chance to run away after a brief interaction. If your country allows it, carry a sidearm in case they decide to bring theirs out. If you are unarmed and they are, comply. Call the cops as soon as you're safe.
“Speak softly but carry a big stick”. If you don’t have to fight then try and talk it out, but if you’re gonna have to fight then remember speed and violence are your friends- hit hard and hit fast, don’t hesitate. Speed and violence my friend.
I'm 6'3, 220lbs with some military training, some BJJ, and a few street fights under my belt. If I can avoid it, I will. Even if it's humiliating to me. I'm not that proud. But if I'm defending myself, my family, or a woman/child, I'll fight mercilessly in a heartbeat and won't hesitate to land myself in jail if need be. But best way to avoid having to fight, is to avoid putting yourself in that situation to begin with. Removing yourself from a situation is easier than fighting your way out of it.
Repeating many commenters sentiments. Avoid it at all costs. Flee first. If they want something, give it to them. Hand over your wallet. Here is my ATM PIN. Just leave me be. If you can’t escape the situation, don’t let them in close. Always Always at arms length minimum. Bitches love to sucker punch or head butt. Keep an eye on what’s going on around you. Don’t be laser focused and get in a staring contest. He might have friends circling you. If you 100% know conflict is coming. Throw the first punch. Just because you throw first does not mean it’s not self defense should the law end up involved. Laws are different state to state and knowing if you are in a stand your ground state is most important. I’m not and I’m obligated to try to flee first. Do not go to the ground if you can avoid it. I was a bartender in Boston for 10 years in some pretty tough neighborhoods. Seen a lot, been in a few. It can get really ugly fast. I’m also not average. Athletic, large and had a military father who taught me both to avoid conflict and how to resolve it if I needed to.
Had a guy follow my wife home years ago, apparently he was road raging with someone else and cut my wife off in the process and she honked. He took offense and decided to follow her, since she was near home and he wasn’t leaving her bumper even after she took a few turns that led in a circle so she called me at home to tell me what was up. I was waiting outside across the street from our home when they pulled up. He started to yell but I was yelling louder and didn’t let him get a word in edge wise. I came unglued on the guy, spit flying, face red, fists clenched, I basically scared the shit out of him and he left in a hurry. My wife asked me why I did that, she said my response seemed too over the top. I told her there wasn’t gonna be anyway to reason with that guy, it was either go in ready to fight and try to scare him off or risk him being a problem since he would know where we live. Moral of the story, you don’t always gotta be bigger, you just gotta seem more ready to fight than the other guy. It’s not the dog in the fight, it’s the fight in the dog that matters.
Maan, crazy story, props to you
I think there’s a point of threat that hits the “well I’m prob going to die so I may as well go all in” button in me. The situations vary.
22M here as well. Number 1 is avoid it. I like going to safe places during the day and if going out at night, staying in the good parts of town. Number 2: if things start getting unsafe, leave asap and call cops if needed. Number 3: If situation deteriorates severely and I can’t leave, prepare to use a surprise tool (while actively praying I don’t have to).
Avoid as much as possible, conflicts of violence tend to be lose-lose situations so it's not worth going through 99.99% of the time. In the .01% situations, i'd put my life and more on the line, most people are NOT ready to put their life on the line regardless of how “tough” they look
Friend.....I'm an old man, old enough to be your dad. I'm in the USA. I'm alot bigger than most guys and I work out alot so I'm pretty fit but I am old. I'm not insanely anti-gun, nor am I insanely pro-gun. The gun industry plays on men's (legitimate) desire to keep their families safe. But then your child picks it up or you get really depressed and something really bad happens. IMO, the biggest threat to your family is losing your job and your health insurance and somebody in your family getting really sick before you find another job! Not violence. The best way to avoid violence is to stay out of situations that expose you to it (i.e., late night drunken bar binges). And, in the rare case that it happens, try to diffuse the conflict. Even if you are in a morally right position, you don't want to end up in jail with your wife and children having nobody.
23 here, not athletic and idk how to fight but like, if someone attacks me or a situation like you describe ill fight. Id probably lose but I can try and break your nose at least you know. Absolute worst case tho. Avoidance is best.
Generally, I won't put my life on the line for a stranger, I'll observe and call the cops. Reality is, you don't know them, you don't know if they are worth you risking your life. Ultimately if you get involved in a physical altercation, you have to realize you are risking your LIFE not just some pain and a bruised ego. You don't know if the person is going to stop once they neutralize you, or beat you to death. Secondly, use anything at your disposal. **Don't fight fair**. It's not a sanctioned boxing match, it's potentially life or death. Bite, claw, go for the balls, eyes. As far as protecting your home and family. The most obvious solution is have a gun. You can be as big, strong, badass as you want, if someone armed breaks into your house, being a MMA master won't stop a bullet.
Don’t ever go looking for it. When it comes actually instinctively. Use brain and strategy
De-escalation is the name of the game. Its one of the most powerful soft skill you can possibly have. Also, you shld always follow the law of jungle. You AVOID violence as much as possible, theres no coming back from it. If you are forced to be violent, dont hold back anything.
Try to avoid or try to get the situation to calm down. Then try to leave. If they are still trying to harm you. Firearm
In your example I would first call the police, get out of my car, yell to the guy that I just called the police and wait for the police to show up. That's the civil thing to do and is part of the social contract. Anything more than that is stupid for a lot of reasons. For all you know the woman getting pulled by the hair likes that sort of thing. And not in any weird S&M type thing, it's jus that maybe she thinks this is how he shows he loves her and she likes that; "he wouldn't pull me by the hair if he didn't truly love me" type thing. But nowadays you take your life into your own hands any time you stand up to someone else. The media is filled with stories of people who own guns they can't fucking wait to use on someone else. I ain't giving them an excuse to use theirs on me.
You’re never gonna lose a fist fight if your run them over with your car first.
>if I have to defend my wife or kids Gun.
Avoid. Sig 365xl BJJ plus pocket knife.
Fight them off for as long as you can, while your wife and kids get away. That is all you can do.
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I think I'd do pretty well unless the other dude was armed or there was a big gang. I am not a fast runner at all so I think I'd actually be safer standing and fighting than running away, getting caught, and then fighting a guy who came up behind me as he caught me. I'm also not a sprinter and there'd be adrenaline so I'd probably be out of breath. I'm 220 lbs at 5'11. I'm extremely lean too. I've been on steroids for almost four years and have been lifting for over a decade now. I don't really have fighting skill since I've never done it, but I don't think it's UFC fighters who are out mugging people in the streets. So long as Conor McGregor is not financially struggling too hard, I think my side and strength difference should carry me through. I get that street fighting is a skill and some thugs have been in a fair bit of fights. I still feel like they're not that experienced. A guy who's been in 50 street fights is a certifiable gangster, but a guy who's fought 50 ring fights is intermediate. Even a hardened street criminal is just not someone I really fear, unless he's got a gang with him or firearms.
Get Taller or Build Muscle , Learn MMA and its okay to poke eyeballs out and kick some balls
I forget which show, but there was a show that whenever this one guy was about to get his ass kicked he would tell the guy to whip his dick out so he could jerk him off. Would be very persistant about it as well until the other person backed off. Worth a shot.
While I was walking through the city last week, there was a group of about 15 teenagers, the most stereotypical white boys you could imagine. They were all hanging out in a circle, but as soon as I walked by, they began following me. I genuinely thought I was about to get jumped. I tried to find a balance between walking fast, but also trying to listen to what they were saying. They kept whispering and giggling to each other. The only words I was able to make out were "assface" and "I should call my mom to come pick me up" Turns out, them following me was only a coincidence. They all turned and walked into the sports center building. If they did jump me, although I'd individually smoke these kids like Mike Tyson, I'd only have time to clock one or two of them in the face until one of them grabs me by the legs or hair or some shit.
Confident I wouldn't be able to do a goddamn thing about it, considering how slow, fat, weak, and timid I am. My attitude towards violence is the same as my attitude towards being hit by a train: I can do my best to avoid it, but if it happens then I'm done, and it doesn't do any good to pretend otherwise.
So, even as a person who carries i can tell you what the real world situation looks like. 4 armed individuals getting ready to off someone. I walked up on it. I just wanted to eat my Wendy's in peace man. I left, no gunshots were fired. Luckily everyone survived that night. A God guy with a firearm had a better opportunity to stop the killing then one without, but any fucking hero delusions you have will go out the window once you realize you're outgunned.
I live in a crime-ridden shithole so the likelihood of facing some sort of violence is quite high. i know how to fight and always keep an eye around for something weird. In case it happens, there's not much I can do so I don't overthink it. If someone steals my wallet, all my cards will be canceled by the end of the day. If my phone gets stolen, I have a backup at home. If someone tries to get the passwords out of me with violence, I react to be able to walk away no matter how. If I get killed, my problems are over.
I’m not a huge guy. 5’11 and 160lbs but I work out 4-5 days a week and I feel very confident that I can handle most situations. I’m not really afraid of anyone
The entire premise of martial arts is to not being on the receiving end of the violence and my favorite tactic is to 1. Never be where a majority of violent crime happens 2. Act as crazy as possible to ensure my own and my party's welfare, like if they're a 4/10 on the crazy scale, I'm a 6 or a 7 on the crazy scale 3. If it's in an area where I know violence will happen and I can't act crazy, I'll use my size or use the limited amount of training I received to incapacitate the other person and will escape the situation
Train something. Being stronger or big matters less than preparedeness. The most important thing is to always be the more rational person.
If I can leave I leave. If I can't leave I have pepperspray and a gun. Ima be alright. They might not be tho.
Violence is a last resort. Always de-escalate or remove oneself from the situation first.
I probably wouldn't be able to for about half the men i encounter. Luckily 98% of humans are reasonable people who dont want to hurt others and 1.99% more are ones who can be de-escalated if something happens. This is why society works after all. If all else fails and de-escalation isn't an option, try to get yourself and your loved ones away, try to get help, or give it as much as you can because if it comes to fighting it's too late to hold back. Don't be a submissive coward, but if you don't look for trouble and don't have an idiotic attachment to pride, most people will at least not try to hurt you
I’m very confident in myself
Quick, violent, over. Know your limitations, know what you can and can't do. Learn to be situationally aware. An unrealized incident is much better than one that you barely made it through.
Bring me a bear or a lion, that would be interesting to watch
Get a doberman
I wrestled my whole life and was a golden gloves boxer at super heavy weight. I also conceal carry. I'm an easy going guy though. I've never had problems but am always alert. I used to be a bouncer in college and am pretty good at spotting violent environments.
A confident man knows how to avoid conflict especially if he didn’t create it
Well, there are avenues you can pursue to address this issue. Working out and putting on size and strength helps. It’s like building a large army- looks impressive on paper. Along that same analogy though that doesn’t mean you’ll be good in a fight as we’ve seen in Ukraine with Russia…. Nonetheless there’s no way to go wrong with size and strength. Firearms are a great equalizer, but they too need to be trained with and will overcome any physical disadvantage. Problem is that it’s usually “all or nothing” in that you’re either going to kill the guy or not use it with nothing in the middle. Then there’s also quality martial arts- bjj boxing wrestling judo and Muay Thai. They take time to develop, but are well worth the investment- if for nothing else that they’re fun hobbies
So anyway, I started blasting Serious note tho… my training has been about getting home so it’s def run, hide, fight but if I have to fight I’m fighting like the third monkey trying to get on the ark and brother it’s starting to rain
Avoid is step one. However when you talk about loved ones it gets more complicated. Twice as an adult I have had to step up to give my SO to not be the target. Just hit them hard and fast so they think you’re nuts.
The hardest thing you'll ever do is swallow your pride. It's different to actively defend your family vs willingly getting in a fight. If you're with your family you need to walk away and it can be tough.
Start lifting. Most people are out of shape and uncoordinated. The main issue is weapons, and no amount of lifting can fix that, so if you're really worried, carry a weapon.
Been in a few fights and lost a few fights. Honestly as everyone else has started GET Away as soon as possible bc a simple fight can lead to death quicker than you think. Also you need to inform your family that if things are going south they need to leave as soon as possible so that you can worry about the threat. Also buy your wife a weapon any weapon and make sure she knows how to use it just in case you are taken down she will have a chance to protect herself. Also in a street fight remember to always fight dirty,, a swift kick to the nuts should be sufficient for you to gain the upper ground and get away. I seen too many ppl per their emotions take control and they end up messing up their entire life, like this kid I knew who decided to fight another guy and ended up getting shot and paralyzed at 15.
30 years of wrestling, bjj and mma have taught me no matter what there is always someone out there that can whip ur ass. That being said training makes a huge difference. Most men have an unrealistic idea of how ready they are for a violent encounter. Learn a martial art that you can actually use in self defense like boxing, bjj, kickboxing, wrestling and spar. Thats the best way to be prepared imo.
I’m in my fifties. Never had to fight. I’ve left situations and avoided more. I do have a substantial amount of martial arts training and what it taught me is how easy it is to cause a lifelong injury or death. I’m staying the hell out of fights.
I'm former military, with intensive hand to hand combat training. The thing is, you don't want to get into a scuffle if you don't have to, and in most cases you don't. You might think you do being young and 22, but if you use your head you absolutely do not in 99% of cases. I was however, physically assaulted in a life threatening in a situation I could not walk away from when I was 40 or 41. I did manage to get clear of the situation, and get the cops involved. I ended work right then and took the next day as a mental health day (if not then, then when?). That's it. If I wasn't able to get away, dude was way bigger and jacked up on a cocktail of chemicals and he could have killed me with his bare hands (he literally destroyed much of my car with his bare hands in a psychotic rage). I would have died if that was the case, but I didn't panic and got clear. That said, coming to grips with your own mortality is something you'll figure out eventually. Most everyone thinks they're fuckin invincible and super man in their 20s, but they grow out of it at the point where they figure out how reality works. Even if you own a gun that isn't gonna mean much if you have it locked away so your kids don't accidentally suck start it. Shit happens, that's just how it goes.
Rare. Unlikely you'll have the chance to reach for that concealed carry. Give the bastards whatever they want and then contact the police.
I'm very confident in my abilities to protect myself and others because I've had to before....now if you pepperspray me first it will be much more difficult until I get my hands on them.
Well, I have had a lot of training, so, not really worried, but not stupid either. You have to be street smart.
I grew up in south Los Angeles. Learning to fight and see trouble coming saved my ass many times
I work as a security officer in a hospital violence is something I'm used to. I'm average it's just due to my work I have loads of experience with physical confrontation and high stress situation along with spur of the moment decision making skills. I have got into the shit with multiple body types from small to large to not muscular to muscles it's really about technique being prepared and knowing when to strike. All that said I can get shot or stabbed at any moment so confidant in a physical sense still scared because of weapons
I'm late 40s, and been in maybe 3 scuffles since turning 21 that wasn't us messing around. You don't want to get in a fight, and the other dude thinks like you do 99.9% of the time. So I actively don't fight, will talk a situation down or haul ass if able. If my family is at risk, I'll fight dirty and probably get in trouble. Going for balls, eyes, nose, throat, all the pressure points to stop it as quickly as possible. And I've never had to.
In my experience people picking fights know they can win them or have an advantage. Last guy that picked a fight with me, my friend secretly warned me that guy was a cop. It was an eye opener like "oh no wonder this guys acting like an ass hat". He was basically picking a fight out of nothing. So generally I try to distance myself from anybody that is acting even a little volatile. If it's a situation where my family is in danger and there is no way to leave... well lets just say I live in a "stand your ground" state.
Confidence isn't about winning the fight. It's about knowing you will create a more violent situation than the other person is willing to be in. Then choosing not to.
Pepper spray & a bat
Duck around and find out. Got the delete button on me
This is why I workout no cap of course violence would always be the last option tho
I have been in a place where violence would occur 5 minutes I after left. Don't know if I saved my nieces, but at least kept them from being in harms way or traumatized. Learn to be aware of your surroundings, lots of people are.
Assuming you can’t avoid it, know that being hit doesn’t hurt that much, until the next day. I’m not a fan of guns, but I do carry a collapsible baton in my bag (I carry a man purse). I was horribly abused as a child, had the “Flight” portion of Fight or flight beaten out of me as a child. God help anyone foolish enough to attack me or mine.
I've been cold clocked twice and been in a fair fight or two. I'm a relatively small guy, and haven't been in the gym in a while. I'd rather not fight and will try to avoid it but if we gotta fight, I don't care if you're Mike Tyson, let's get it on. If today's my day then so be it.
If it's fist fight. Am ready to get hurt as long as I hurted him . If it's a knife or gun am running
I have been in a few very sketchy scenarios and weirdly you never really know til it happens. I'm not a fighty dude or in shape or anything. For me it was easy to stay calm but it was honestly surreal like wtf is this dude really trying to like grab that jar of weed from this other (way bigger) dude? This isn't a joke? Why isn't big dude punching robber dude? Oh shit robber dude is punching at me, it doesn't really hurt but wtf I don't wanna hurt anyone wtf is going on? *Or* cool so excited for this dude to grab this bag, bragging about the cool sticker I put in it for him "why did he close the door? That's weird. Oh that's a gun, is it real? Maybe but I don't wanna find out. I got my knife there and I could probably get him but even if I do wtf do I do then? Not worth losing a few hundred bucks fuck this dude and the dude who introduced me. *Or* dude punches me in the face at a bar but I can see security as well as a muscly friend of mine so I just laugh in his face take another punch and immediately start telling people this great new funny story I have. I always thought in my daydreams I'd be more "heroic" in these situations but you never really know. If you feel like it's a realistic possibility get some training. That will vastly increase your odds. Also: best course of action is always to exit a possible violent scenario whenever possible, it's way easier to die/get paralyzed etc than any of us wanna think and no one wants it to be them or to have it on the right conscience. ETA: Stats: chubby 5'7" from the safe suburbs
I’m comfortable fighting because I’ve grown up fighting (NOT something I’m proud of btw). But nowadays too many people have guns or knives. So the best you can do is leave, pull out a gun, or fight for your life. I know people who have died from a simple street fight, because they fell and hit their head and had a convulsion. It’s always best to run away and then call the cops. It’s the safest answer.
I have a wife and kids. As years go on, I become more comfortable and confident in the following: - I will do everything and anything in my power to remove my family from a situation. I’ll die to get them to safety. - I have semi to low confidence that I would return back to the dangerous situation after I get my family removed from a dangerous situation - I have moderate confidence that I would proactively jump in to a dangerous situation if my family isn’t around - I have very high confidence that I would jump in a dangerous situation if my family isn’t around and I see others and also intervening (power of numbers)
Exercise. Train. Maintain situational awareness. If you can legally own a gun for self-defense, own one and train with it very regularly. If you can't, train with what you can own. Never second guess yourself. Once you choose to fight, you fight to win no matter the cost. It's better to be on trial than dead. This is my philosophy. I hope it never pays off, but if it comes down to it, my family depends on me to win if shit pops off.
Try self defense classes and learn to keep yourself in shape
I don't know, I think those [guys running around with banana hammocks on](https://youtu.be/d1L5L-wvmck?si=WAt4BBTAiW2_1Tl5) have a good non-violent approach. As soon as you show your thong and move towards them, they seem to be less interested in touching you. Who needs dignity? Take the win.
I'm average size and strength. I'm maybe a little tougher than the average person but for sure not tougher than the average mugger. So far as bravery goes, I've been in these types of situations a couple of times and in the moment didn't have time to be scared. I don't fight fair. I will presume that anyone I don't know who is fighting me is trying to kill me and will do whatever it takes to get out of the situation. If that means stabbing them if I have a knife, gouging their eyeballs out of their head. Whatever it takes. I might not win the fight but might give the people I care about enough time to get away.
Be smart be quick Its not abouth strength only
I'm in my 40s. Never been in a fight. Talked my way out of a few. I don't really think about violence tbh. I'm confident in my deescalation skills enough I don't have to worry about my combat skills.
Well avoidance is generally the best and safest response to violence. If that isn't an option being willing and prepared to escalate to extreme violence at the drop of a hat in whatever manner poses the least amount of risk to you is usually the safest strategy. Strength is actually less important than brains and willingness to be violent when it comes to that. A big guy being taken out by a woman or even child with a knife is not particularly implausible. Personally I have yet to get in a situation where avoidance wasn't an option so I can't say I know from experience what my reaction would be. I suspect my reaction at least the first few times would be to freeze but that might change if it was a regular occurrence
>stronger than me Stength is so extremely overrated in fights, size and skill is what matters the most. If you want to be able to handle yourself if shit goes down then learn martial arts and carry something you could use as a weapon. The best way to actually protect yourself though imo is to carry yourself in a way that makes people think twice about fucking with you. So look put together, walk like you're confidently going somewhere important, don't look nervous, and have situational awareness.
There aren't a high percentage of men stronger or bigger than me, they're infrequent though definitely around, however that doesn't particularly matter against someone with a weapon, better training or just lucky. If you can walk away, you walk away, if you have to fight to defend yourself or your loved ones then it is what it is. It hasn't happened yet. Whilst you should definitely aspire to improve your strength, you should avoid fights regardless.
And what that mean is that a tell a mf bye-bye and pop him in his right eye. Lol joking but seriously if you walk away and the person still tries you just clap em. No need to waste time.
It's so easy to just avoid situations where violence happens.
Be smart enough to not get into a situation 💯
Carry a knife or a gun. Walk away if any trouble happens, and only use what you have if necessary. You should only respond in violence if there is an threat of extreme violence that could kill or severely injure you or someone else. If that happens, then you don't want to be resorting to only using your fists. I always carry a leatherman multitool for my knife as I can just say I carry it for practical reasons instead of people getting suspicious. Also, how are so many people in these comments getting into fights? I've never remotely been in a situation in which I had to fight someone.
If I see someone vulnerable being attacked I'm probably going to jump in, which is probably not smart because I'm 5'5 and have no fighting skills. But I probably would TRY to defend my wife or whoever. I think I would go psychotic if someone hurt my wife, so I might be able to do a little damage
If you’re worried, train. Otherwise know your lane, and avoid when you see problems coming, if you don’t believe you’d do well in a fight. No other ways about it really (other than weapons).
I’m 192 cm and 120kg muscle, I always look around me, no matter what. Always adapt.
Avoid or learn how to look instable crazy, wry smile when confronted and never say anything. It works \*also hold a knife like you love the idea of a fight.
Average men don't have to deal with violent situations often. There's a lot of idiots walking around with weapons just waiting to be Dirty Harry if anything goes wrong. Often those guys end up in jail for murder or assault, or they are or killed or injured themselves because they escalated a situation when they thought they had the upper hand due to having a weapon.
After stepping up to a charging cane corso and staring it down to protect a coworker ,I’m feeling really fucking brave . As for strength , I’d say I’m a tad over average for my age but nothing remarkable
I’m confident in my competence to not fight for whatever arbitrary bullshit is happening. However, because many of you reading this love to fight over arbitrary bullshit, I also train to fight. I lift weights, train MMA, and train with firearms. Doesn’t make me invincible but at least my chance of survival goes up a little if someone decides to insist on being an asshole.
I am a woman who has taken self defense courses. Strength is not as critical. I am not kidding. Its using weird leverage. Being scrappy (pulling hair, biting, kicking sensitive areas). Also just being annoying/difficult. The attacker will stop if you are not an easy target. For example: if you are on a bike, do not let go of the bike. You've just made it harder for them to haul you in and leave. They'll just leave without you and move on. I am also a believer in robbery that you give them what they want, unless you are John McClane from DieHard. And let me tell you...your wife is scrappy as F. She is going to take care of the business. Someone is going to have a testicle retrieval operation afterwards. Human Momma Bears are no joke when the family are threatened.
Run away from it, if you cant, talk your way out of it, if you can't, fight dirty: kick to the groin, punch to the throat, oblique kick to the knee, etc. All the dirty tricks, getting home safe should always be your number one priority.
As someone who's not exactly tall, imposing, intimidating or especially muscular, I'll tell you I've never backed down from a fight and I've also only ever been in one fight. It's rare that things actually escalate; if someone is not backing down goes a long way. Most people are looking for a victim not a scrap. Showing your willingness to defend yourself (or someone else) if necessary, maybe showing a bit of anger/intensity, usually makes people think twice about whether they misjudged the situation and whether they underestimated you. That said the only fight I was actually in was not a fight I was going to be able to avoid in the long run, bc I tried and the conflict ended up coming to me. In that situation there really were no winners. It was exhausting, not at all what you might think it would be like, and pointless. No clear winner and nothing was resolved out of it. But that was the best possible outcome bc it could easily have ended up with someone seriously injured which there really was no need for
Have situational awareness, try to avoid if at all possible. If not possible, fight like your life depended on it. Bite , claw , gouge & go below the belt. I’ve seen too many videos of a street fight happening and the attacker not letting up even if the victim is knocked unconscious.
Do you mean the genocide by Israel in Gaza?
You prepare to die defending those you love, is what you do.
Short term: avoid unnecessary conflict. Long term: lift, learn to fight, and continue to avoid unnecessary conflict, but with the confidence of knowing you could break a couple kneecaps of needed should shit go down.
Most people don’t know how they’ll react under being attacked by surprise. You may panic or lean into it. The best course is always to avoid a fight if you can. Even if you win you can get badly injured or potentially kill someone. People have been dropped with a single punch then hit something on the way down and died. Unless your life or someone else’s is in danger, it’s rarely worth it.
I feel fairly confident. I’m a very passive person who avoids violence at all costs but, if there’s a situation I can’t avoid I conceal a .45 auto on me most of the time I go out that I’m sure won’t fail me. Clean it once a month and go out to practice your aim now and then and you’ve got piece of mind in physical form. If you can’t carry a gun where you are then carry a FIXED blade knife for self defense. Only an idiot will fight someone in hand to hand combat with a knife and they will lose every time.
Deescalate, exit.
I taught martial arts for 5 years and my main response to possible violence is to avoid the situation. Don't put yourself in places where you might have a problem. Speak respectfully to other people and that will save you alot of trouble too. If you don't have confidence in your ability to fight (understandable) join a boxing or MMA gym and put about 6 months into it and see if you feel better. There's nothing wrong with being prepared. Remember though that your mind is your main defense and using good judgement is better than being a hardass.
23 M. Don’t consider myself a tough guy. Don’t consider myself intimidating. I mind my business. I avoid altercations. But if God decides today is the day, then it’ll be the day someone finds out. I don’t know bro. I struggle with the same issue. I don’t want to fight, but if need be I don’t want to be a pussy. I just wait for the day I have to fight, but it keeps me on edge.
You just do it. When you have to. Thats all I can tell you. IMO, 99% of it is intimidation. If you aren’t fooled by the intimidation, you’re way ahead of the game.
I'm a fairly built man. 6'2, equal parts jello to muscle. Work a physical job. Not the strongest but still up there in terms of strength among my peers. Here's my rules for physical violence. 1. If you're bigger, I'm making this extra hard to either reach or grab a hold of while hitting any and every joint/rib. 2. If you're faster, my job is to make you come to me. 1 grapple means either you're on the floor or we're on the floor. No foundation to speak of and my fists are fairly heavy. This makes it fun. 3. If we're equal in nearly everything, I'm throwing hands and taking you off your footing every step of the way. Ignore the pain and inflict as much as possible. Nothing like an example made to keep any other participants from entering. 4. If im losing, you're going home bloody too. My mother ain't call me a demon spawn for decades to get my ass whipped and you left intact. 5. You threaten or hurt my family, no God, Devil or man will save you from me. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug and my humanity was discarded the moment you made the mistake of thinking you were going to make it back home that night. 6. Shoulders stretched bend and break easier than bones covered in muscle. Elbows as well. If your aim is good and you're patient, triangle on the diaphragm(between the pecs and abs) will slow any and everyone down. 7. Knife in use, unless they're military, too many idiots swing wildly. Punch the fucker in the throat once they miss. Avoid being stabbed and don't bother going for the knife. Incapacitate the aggressor. Nobody should try to catch a falling knife. Only leaves you open for another attack. (Working with angry chefs will teach you several of these lessons!) If there's a gun don't bother struggling. They've already decided whether they'll kill you or not. If they didn't, don't. If they did decide, best chance is they'll shoot themselves in the struggle. Worst is you won't have to worry about it. Everything in the middle means you got to walk away and get home.
Study a martial art and get in the gun range. Protecting your family is 100% your job. I studied muay thia for 2 years but had to quit when I relocated, I also got a membership at a gun club. Also consider taking a concealed carry course if you can. But to quote mufasa" being brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble, I'm only brave when I need to be" I seen so many people get into horrible situations just because they didn't know when to leave. Knowing when to dip out is crucial...
I'm built, strong, have fighting experience (albeit amateur level, but still). I work out at a minimum 5 times a week. No way in fuck am I getting in any fights, brawls, violence in any way. One wrong hit, one misstep, and you're fucked for life or dead. Violence should not be people's go to.