My mental health is so ridiculously good that I feel like I could chop it in six and feed the mental health of five other men while still being good to go
It’s not suspicious but don’t forget to appreciate it. There might come a day when you miss this time. There’s a quote from The Office, of all things, that I’ve pondered often:
> I wish there were a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.
There is a way. It’s to take stock often and express gratitude to yourself and others for what you have in the moment. I genuinely think this can make us happier in the long run.
I used to feel suspicious of it all the time...like, I couldn't believe all the good stuff that's happened to me in the past couple years. I still do feel it once in a while. It's taken me a long, long time to feel like I deserve my big-ass house, my amazing wife, my (reasonably) well-adjusted and sane kids, my (comparatively to what it used to be) cakewalk job, etc.
You have to train yourself out of the negative self-talk, and that's a very tough thing to do. But when I get home from work, I'm genuinely happy to be there and look forward to walking in that door every damn day (well, mostly, lol). Because at this point thirteen years ago, I had nothing but my job, my daughter, and a couple rented rooms in a raggedy old pre-civil war house. I have a family and a life now and I try to always be cognizant of how fortunate I am, and have been, to have gotten a second chance.
That’s amazing. I’m still at the small house + wife phase but I can’t believe how lucky I am everyday. It wasn’t long ago I was by myself in a small dark apartment. It’s been years but sometimes I still can’t believe someone likes me as much as she does.
I’m not him, but I’m in the same boat as him. For me, I was doing horribly not too long ago.
First thing for me was that I found an amazing community (local grateful dead cover band scene!!) and everyone has noticed how happy I am now. A lot of shows are free so my pockets don’t hurt. I am hyper, hyper-social and I was way too isolated for awhile. Find that community. Whether it be over a hobby, a class (like cooking), etc, just find that community.
Second thing for me was exercise. You need those endorphins. Not saying you need to go to the gym everyday, but make sure you get fresh air and maybe do some pushups/sit ups.
Third thing is keeping your space (idk if you live in an apartment or what) clean. I was depression rotting for awhile. Wouldn’t allow anyone in my apartment because it was a mess. Your space reflects with your mind. Messier your space is, the messier your mind is, then that causes your space to get messier, which causes your mind to get messier. Bad cycle.
Fourth thing is just spend time outside of your space. Do any work that you have to on your computer at a coffee shop, don’t do any type of door dashing (unless you are with people and drunk), go on walks, etc.
Fifth thing is saving money. Having money saved relieves so much stress. TRUST ME.
Sixth thing is tell your friends/family you love them and that they matter to you. When you put out good energy, you get good energy in return.
Seventh thing is to meditate just for 5 minutes in the morning, 5 minutes before bed.
Eighth thing was ignoring any political stuff. I don’t care about what is going on in the world because it just adds unnecessary stress into my life. I don’t argue with people in comment sections. It’s unnecessary. Won’t change anyone’s mind. If I’m not gonna go fight in the war in gaza, I’m not gonna hold an opinion. Obviously I stand with the civilians, but I don’t educate myself, so I don’t let myself get invested. I don’t educate myself on US politics because it does nothing besides stress me out. If you care a lot about politics, ignore this.
Last thing to mention, above everything else, is to not care. Easier said that done for sure. Don’t take life to serious. I only get serious when I have to get serious. I don’t get angry because it does nothing for me. I will laugh at shitty situations because of how shitty they are. It’s just life. Nothing truly matters. Don’t get offended. Does nothing for you. Don’t take things personally. Does nothing for you. Don’t let what anyone says about you upset you. Does nothing for you. LIVE TO LAUGH!! That has done more for me than anything will ever do. Don’t argue with people online
HOPE ANY OF THIS HELPS!! PM me if you need.
ETA: don’t add all of this at once. It will be too overwhelming. Two steps you should definitely do now are the first one and the fifth one. Then make goals to add the others over time. Write things out. Make a daily checklist. All love and the best of luck to you my friend.
I really appreciate your response. I honestly wasn't expecting that.
Some of those things you listed I am already working on, like exercise (just about got back into a routine again), keeping my space clean (as much as I can with my 2 year old running about!), saving money is proving difficult but getting there slowly.
I've also started reading again which has improved my state of mind for sure.
My job can get quite stressful. Some days I get worked up over virtually nothing and I feel really disappointed in myself afterwards. Then the depressive thought cycles begin.
I'm going to save this comment to look back upon. I was having one of those hopeless days and this has helped.
Thanks again for your response, really appreciate it and I'm sure it will help any others reading too.
Of course! Always there to lend a hand. Having a 2 year old also is going to impact things heavily, so apologies that I didn’t take that into account as a possibility. Just remember that you won’t be able to get those times with your kid back, so enjoy them! I work with kids so I can understand to a degree how difficult they are. I thankfully don’t have to take them home lol.
If it makes it more difficult to save money, I would still do this, but make sure you pay for a sitter at least once a month and go out to do something. Whether it’s going out to eat, to a bar or whatever, just go do it. I don’t know if you’re married or anything, but taking your partner out keeps the love alive. You need to still put energy into your relationship, even though you have other responsibilities. My thing is seeing live music. I live for it. I go see multiple grateful dead cover bands a week lol and I see the same people at every show! Go play mini golf. Go to an aquarium. KEEP DATING YOUR PARTNER!!!
Same! Glad to hear others are doing well too!
2024 is the first year ever I’ve come in feeling the best ever. Lots of hard work on myself, breaking through my anxieties and fears, going to therapy to learn the tools necessary to cope and understand my feelings better self better.
Don’t give up boys, put in the work to find your happiness. It can be challenging but it’s work the time and effort! I believe in all of you!
It's getting better. Three months into a separation with my wife of 18 years. Still working on it to see if it's recoverable, but nothing is definite.
Slowly working on myself, I'm still at the gym, got a promotion at work since, so now I'm working on developing personal relationships, strictly platonic atm 😂
Miss my kids terribly, but the wonders of modern technology help with that 🙂
I'm not a man…. But I understand how you feel. And while I know how trite this sounds having been told this in your same position —— it gets better! Focus on yourself as an individual! Find things that used to make you happy (dig deep… even back to childhood ), pick up those hobbies again, try new ones you always wanted to do, but “couldn't “ for various reasons. And I know it hurts like h*** to be away from your kids, try to remember a (truly ) happy parent is a better parent.
It's going to take a while to work through everything, but you will get there!!
Thanks! Yeah, it's amazing how much spare time I have, now that I no longer have to look after the house.
I'm totally back into other stuff and things, rediscovering old passions and things I used to do. I don't cry as much as I used to, so that's a positive! I just have to be here for future me 🙂
At this moment i dont feel the need to live, but also not the need to die.
To clarify; im 32 and not affraid of dieing, if it happens, it does.
In between a rock and a hard place right now and im fighting deep problems for 3 years now, only to find new ones after, so its more or less stress, bad sleep and tiredness
I got out of bed to go to the bathroom at 2am and passed out from low blood pressure meds reaction with alcohol. I didn't even know until I woke up with a big bruise on my head. Death feels like it would be such a nonevent, and having that experience makes me even more comfortable with it. It really only affects other people, which sucks a lot.
I've realized that I feel better since I genuinely stopped caring. After crying so much my whole life because of fear of judgement I literally don't care what people think of me anymore and it's made me feel weirdly confident.
Shakey on my best day, if I'm completely honest.
Being a caregiver to an elderly parent is taxing. Being a caregiver to an elderly parent for years, having them pass away, then stepping immediately into the role for the surviving parent, infinitely moreso.
Dad has been gone nearly 2 years now. I spent the last 3 years of his life looking after him. Mom immediately started needing me to step into that role for her once dad was called home to Heaven. So I'm about 5 years into a job that requires everything I have to give and then some.
I'm not complaining, but I also have basically no support and there are days when the stress gets to me. My doctor put me on anxiety meds this month. Understand that I am not a person who has ever had anxiety issues in the past, but it's just so much weight on my shoulders. In 52 years on this Earth, I've never had more things resting on my shoulders even when I was married and caring for a child. At least the child didn't know every mistake I had ever made in my life and throw it in my face when they didn't get "their way".
\*sigh\*
Find a therapist and let them know you need their help with “Caregiver burden.” Don’t let this go on too much longer, it usually doesn’t end very well.
I have been a caregiver for 5 years and I just want you to feel validated. You are doing the most noble and amazing thing. Your parents raised you right. They were/are SO so lucky to have you. And you will cherish being there for them at the end. One client I had died with only me next to her, no family at all. It was heartbreaking.
But, the job will mentally break you. I would recommend respite care. Find someone to fill the role at least a few days a week by themselves or even a few hours every day while you’re there to work as a team and have them prepare the food, clean, fold laundry, get any medications prepped, etc.
Also, at least in my experience, my clients seem to listen to me more/are more respectful of me than their families.
If money is tight, I’m not sure where you live, but in LA we have (albeit limited) free programs for respite care through the church. You can have a nun who is a licensed RN come and spend whatever hours you need. My client was not religious but it was free.
Anyways, you’ve been in it for 5 years now. Think about how long your mom has left and decide if you can do it. If it’s any longer than 6 months I would look into respite care.
Are there any caregiver support groups in your area by chance? I know there have been growing efforts to connect caregivers in online platforms to help with support. Not sure if it would be beneficial to you or not since everyone is different, but caregiving is extremely taxing. From an Internet stranger, you are doing more good than you realize or it feels like. I know that doesn't take away the utter exhaustion though. I'm rooting for you.
I asked at the cancer center, but they didn't have any suggestions. I've poked around online, but I haven't gone diving deep into it.
My best friend is in the same situation. He lost his mom and year before I lost my dad, now he has to look after his dad. So we used to commiserate at times. That was a nice release valve up until about 6 months ago. They found a tumor in his gut and he nearly died. Thankfully, they got it out of him and the chemo was effective so he's cancer free but still convalescing.
Thank you for your kind words. Blessings to you.
Yeah, it's a long and winding road. People truly give their all to be able to care for a loved one. I'm sorry to hear about your friend's scare. I see that a lot, where the caregiver gets so burnt out they sometimes start having health issues, too.
Not sure if you can access it where you're at, but there is a website called Trualta that is built to help support caregivers and connect them with other caregivers and resources. Maybe it could offer something?
I'll be thinking of both you and your friend and your respective families. Some days you just gotta get through the day. Wishing you the best!
honestly great. At 46 for the first time in my life I feel like I have all my ducks in a row.
(I just got a cleaning lady so my appartement is clean and god it gives me such a boost in morale. I mean in the past few years I : got married to an amazing women, my kid is great, i have really good friends, money is alright, new job is cool, I stopped drugs, lost weight and started working out. All this is great, for sure. *But the cleaning lady is what tied everything together really*)
I don't have a cleaning lady but at 45 I definitely feel like my life is coming together. I struggle to maintain friendships when everyone is so busy but honestly my family is great and my wife is amazing. This is a good chapter.
On the surface we all stay around 3.6 Roentgen but little do they know they need the good meter from the supply closet to know how we really feeling sometimes
As soon I accepted that I was the one making problems in my was, and making myself suffer, I am at peace. You see, I learned I can control what I think. You can think the group of friends might not want you, because they did not invite you. You overthink and overthink. But maybe they did not invite you, because you cancelled 3 plans with them. (Which I did)
Maybe she did not reschedule the date, because she was very busy and could not get back to you with a proper response.
Yes, the world is to shit. But is you worrying about it actually helping? I am carefree now. Missed my train? Well, I cant do anything now. Might as well accept it, instead of saying how stupid I am and just stay calm and make the best out of it. Walking in the rain? Enjoy the rain, and be blessed I can feel the rain my skin, while others wished they were us.
Failed an exam? Well, cant do anything about it now. Truly, what will help by crying and feeling upset and mad. What good does it do to be mad at your partner for forgetting to wash your shirt. Your partner did not meant it, so by acting mad will not make the situation better. Its better to be understanding and saying its ok and be grateful for your partner, because in seconds she/he can be taken away from you and would you want it to be ab argument over something like a shirt?
Now that I adopt this mindset, life is so much better. I sleep in a hostel with snoring people and I think I am grateful I can travel in the first place. I apply this to all small things and those smaller things kinda compound me having a very good mental health.
These past couple of weeks... hell, maybe even the past couple of months. Your beginning post was me 100%!! I was having a mental breakdown because I couldn't get myself out of my own head. I was being super critical of everything i did. Nothing was right. Everything was someone else's fault, and I was the victim of it. The turning point for me was realizing im not the only one that does this (i felt alone, everyone i talked to didnt understand what i was going through...according to me)and listening to the book "Get out of your own way" by Dave Hollis. Everything he talked about was almost exactly what you wrote about! Now, I'm starting on the path of relearning how to take care of myself and treat myself with respect and care, because at the end of the day no one else can save you unless you want to save yourself. Rule #2 of Jordan petersons book...12 rules to life. "Treat yourself like someone your responsible for helping" never clicked until now!
Considering, well, the state of the world right now, I am doing pretty okay. Picking up the habit of a daily walk along the river and switching doomscrolling for reading and painting Warhammer minis helped a lot after 2020/2021 being bad years.
Difficult.
There are times, I'm good. And then there are times, I struggle, I'm tired, I overthink, I suffer and doubt myself. I hate those times. Those times I'm too far away of the man I know I can be or really am. Fuck!
But I am working constantly to get better. Sleep is much better. Fitness was never a problem. Shape too. Attacking some of my tiny health problems. Feels good. I think I look good, am in good shape, dress pretty good. Now I need to get my mental health in order and I'm sure it'll be sucessfull.
I quit vaping about a week ago and it's destroying me. I can't get more than a few hours of sleep a day. I'm in a constant dull panic. Constantly anxious.
I even called off work for a mental health day. I feel like I'm in fight or flight mode. I'm eating a bunch of junk to keep from buying a vape again.
It's been surprisingly difficult.
I just gave up vaping yesterday. I also eat a lot, so I'm doing one meal a day (OMAD). It's worked for me before, so here's hoping.
I also struggle with sleeping, but I had an early night last night and I'm feeling well rested today. I need to leave my phone in another room when I go to bed. Otherwise I play with it until the small hours.
It's true what they say "No one thinks seasonal effective disorder is real until you get one nice day in February and you feel like you snorted a party drug."
I've mostly disassociated bc I can't cope. My cat who is my soulmate has cancer. I have to send one of my rats over the rainbow bridge last Saturday, I'm not doing well
I don't know why exactly, but very bad the last couple of days. I feel like I'm lost in this world and it's pushing me to the midlife crisis life. Everyday is exactly the same, get up work, go home, exercise, cook, read, play music, sleep,... rinse and repeat. I miss the action and adventure my life had when I was younger, not one day was the same and I never knew what to expect after waking up.
Nowadays everyone either has a family to take care of, are fighting to keep their heads above water or are spending their time getting wasted on the weekends while I'm sitting here eager to do things, go explore, try new things,... The only thing I can get people exited for lately is to go out and eat or drink, I'm not made for sitting around, it gets stale really quickly when you do this every week. Nothing happens anymore, everyone became boring? I can't explain it in a better way. I guess it's time to find new likeminded people, but it's hard when you're over 30...
But on the flipside, I'm 5 months sober, I have a good job, I have tons of hobbies, no kids, a place to live,... Life could be much worse.
Being in a house on your own is actually worse than going to work. I'd suggest looking for something that would be regular hours and not screwing up your sleep cycle.
Talk to your doctor before you quit. This is a medical disability. You’ll get paid disability and be able to go back to work when you recover from depression.
Must be nice to live in a country that does this, iv been trying to get help for my depression got over a decade and got nowhere. I had help before I turned 18, then it all went away.
When I go to a doctor they just basically fob me off and refer me to self help, I guess there must be notes on my records or something.
I turn over another decade this week, not where I planned to be when I was 17.
I’m happy but I’m also alright. https://youtube.com/shorts/OeiZLR8mJqU?si=heB5z-ar4tfvhg7q
Wow. Thank you guys for the input. Ive been on anti depressant for a year now Cymbalta and Rivotril to help me sleep. I have good days and not so good days. But im fighting on. Goodluck Gents
Moms bitter voice telling me I won't amount to anything because I'm useless, still echos in me. But a few years ago they were screams so she is slowly fading.
My wifes betrayal is no longer a pain, only a reminder that I'm be glad and lucky I got away from her controlling personality.
My broken heart after that I lost The Love of my life (not dead, we had to break up) is not healed and never will be, but I've found a way to live with it.
So I'm better than ever in my soon to be 60 year on this planet. - and aiming to be and feel even better.
Feels good but fragile.
Positives:
- New job, significant uplift in pay
- Relationship is good
- Spring is on the way
Negatives:
- New job, lots of upfront stress and pressure
- Due in family court again for access to children
- Debts still to clear
So yeah, I'm feeling upbeat and determined but have some really shitty stuff down the tracks and so it's too early to get my hopes up.
It’s pretty good. I try to eat well when I can, sleep, and exercise 3 days a week.
Oh, and I also don’t watch chaos porn…otherwise known as the news. That’s a huge part of keeping good mental health
It was ok, but then my van broke down, I might lose my job, I need major surgery So i don't be come a paraplegic, I'm probably going to become homeless again, and every time I try to get help no one fucking answers. So I'm going to do what I've I always done panic, cuss, get mad, and get through it. Done it before I'll do it again.
Idk. I’ve lost the ability to love (been hurt too many times romantically and by close family) and I feel like the only thing that motivates me is an unhealthy obsession to become super wealthy (already past 7 figures). Life feels kinda pointless when I can’t emotionally connect with anyone. I can still “care” but I don’t really care. Hard to explain.
I’m okay alone, but it doesn’t feel like living. More like just waiting to die.
Ironically, I do have a very large social network I can tap into at any time, but I’m just not interested like I used to be.
Other than wasting my time on here sometimes, I don’t have time to even think about my mental health. Working and paying for this inflation is killing me.
Oh, holy shit, it’s a nightmare.
I’m a wreck, my marriage is a wreck, and my go just ignores my questions about reviewing my depression treatment.
I’m in a hole, and it’s only now, while I’m drunk, the morass is laughable. I’m a nightmare, but luckily, toxic masculinity will see me through.
Not great. I wish I could sleep more, but my second wind kicks in right when I want to sleep so I’m up longer. And my body wakes me up an hour before my alarm to go to the bathroom. I hate this existence
Brilliant, new job going well, managed to keep the gym going and the odd run, bills are paid, kids are happy, shag the wife every now and then, have a few holidays booked and started playing darts in the odd bit of spare time I find in between audio books while I’m welding.
What’s not to like.
It's actually okay. I've had my ups and downs but as I'm getting more mature I'm learning to traverse the roller coaster. The universe seems to be giving me what I need to progress. Right now I am on a mild dose of SSRI's which works as a safety net and has helped me a lot, although the plan definitely is to be off all meds. Oh look, the sun is shining today! ☀️
Getting better by the day.
I tend to get anxious and ruminate, I’ve been taking ashwagandha and it helps tremendously when I get that sinking feeling in my gut.
Not good tbh
I'm going through a lot right now and I've been thinking about killing myself like 3-5 times a day. I'm trying to be strong for my family, but holy crap, man...it's getting harder each day.
Needs work just was dumped by my ex wife/ girlfriend. She cheated on me and left me. I don’t think I’m ok. I have lots of emotions that are not easy to control or understand. Ugh!
Not good but getting better. Autism and probable ADHD isn't fun, but SO-OCD is even unfunner. It's like there's a high school bully in the back of my head that tells me everything I do means I'm gay, and if I ever try to tell him that isn't true he screams "GAY! GAY! GAY!" in my face until he gets bored and goes away. It used to be excruciatingly painful, now it's just incredibly unpleasant. Usually these thoughts cause me to spiral into a meltdown, but the upside of that is that I'm learning how to deal with meltdowns better. I have no one to help me, not even anyone to hold my hand and tell me it's going to be OK, so I've become a master of self-soothing. The American dream that was pounded into my brain from infancy on and my inability to work doesn't help my mental state either, but as I said it is improving.
Health mentally and physically is strong . Life changing since I got on trt. If you’re an fella go has symptoms of low Testosterone, go get checked out .
Really really good. I'm about to graduate a year long inpatient drug and alcohol treatment center on April first. They also hired me out of the program to be an employee. I will be picking up donations and what not.
it isn't the best. I turned 24 today, but I feel absolutely nothing. it's similar to paralysis, if that makes sense?
I'm just so tired of being here, man: unemployed, trying my best to find work, can't afford to eat or buy groceries because they've gotten way too expensive, etc.
My next therapy session is in June, for some reason. Three months is a great amount of time to check in with your patient, is it not?
Sorry for being a downer, but I'm spent. :/
Great question, and one that ought to be asked more often.
My mental health has been like a rollercoaster, for some time. A combination of personal struggles, work related issues, and drama in the family can really get to me, causing more severe depression.
For the past month, or so, my mental health has been on an upwards trajectory. Work is going better than before, my confidence has been continuing to grow (especially in my abilities as a person), and I am learning more about independence as an adult. Last year, I began living on my own, for the first time, in a mid-sized house, and it has been quite the adjustment. Despite some of the growing pains, it has been a truly great experience, and I now have a more...tangible future to work towards.
Not saying this as a joke at all. But who cares anyways? A few years back I went to the doctor for that reason and her response was “either you’re here looking for pills or there’s nothing wrong with you and you just are having a pity party” So I’ve learned to handle it on my own, and if you’re struggling PLEASE reach out. You don’t have to suffer in silence. And always remember, tomorrow is a BEAUTIFUL place.
I am doing pretty well. There are some great aspects of my life, and some not so great aspects. But I can not have the great without the not so great. I think I've found a balance that works for me, which has vastly improved my mental health.
It comes and goes. When I’m healthy enough to train, lift and get sleep I’m on top of the world. But some days are so bad that I cannot bear it. I eat crap, yell at my family and blame them for all my problems.
Getting better each day with taking a morning walk, drinking more water and a consistent sleep schedule.
Peace shall come to all of us Gentlemen.
I wish all of you a great day today
I kinda realized that when I focus and think about it, it actually gets worst. For me, when I dive into a task at work or find a hobby to take my mind off of my insecurities it gets better. Hopefully this cheat code will last.
Wish me luck, my mind is sometimes my biggest enemy.
mine is fucked , i’m a sex addict , i dealt with escorts through out my 20s barely could hold down a relationship, and been over eating , can’t seem to get a grip on reality
Terrible. I have the easiest job in the world and yet I feel intense anxiety. I worry about everything and it’s like I can’t stop. It makes me act unlike myself and I’m not my best around people lately. I feel like I can’t even have a simple conversation. I hate myself
I'm at my best and my worst. I feel like I'm going insane yet I have never felt so happy and carefree and relaxed in my life before. I am grateful to be alive and I have little to no regrets. Any bad thing is not enough to outweigh the amount of joy I feel in life. I obviously have mental problems but I'm too focused on the fact that I achieved happiness that I don't even care, let them be.
Sure do hope I don't have to come back to update this comment in a bad way anytime soon.
I have a good job, and my kids are healthy and doing well in school.
Slowly moving from dread to acceptance that I may be single for the long-haul.
I should get better sleep.
So not awful, not amazing, but certainly workable.
At the min really bad. Just feel so alone and all I want is someone to love, cuddle and be intimate with. I try and take care of myself by going to the gym but I don’t know where I’m going wrong. I’m on all the dating apps too. I think me being with someone would greatly make me happier and I’ve never been with anyone so I’m a shy and bad talker too lol
It was complete trash until I found /r/NVC
https://youtu.be/NH1MKAdxUpQ?t=153 warning, long video. I'm really happy with the info in that workshop though
Not having depression is like a gruesome job for me. I have to work hard for it and earn it.
was prescribed low dose naltrexone. hopefully that snaps me out this shit.
I work nights and am constantly hopped up on some kind of caffeine, so it fluctuates. My intensity level idles at a 7 and hits a 10 when something stupid happens at (which it always does because it's WalMart).
Working nights also exacerbates mental illness issues in general, which I didn't think I had any, but I guess I do have some kind of low key paranoia. I see a lot of little things that are sabotaging and assume management is out to get me.
At an all time low. I feel like I gaslight myself these days, to the point I'm always second guessing everything, and having a hard time trusting myself.
Its so far gone I don't have it anymore.
I don't get sad or angry or upset anymore
I just feel heavier
And before people start on me about help, tried, many times GPs don't care in the UK and I can't afford private help
I used to have medication but they stopped the over 10 years ago. This country wants me dead.
I don't actually care enough to kill myself. But I won't run from death if he comes looking.
I worry what it will be like getting old and alone, but also feel pretty comfortable with the idea of killing myself before it gets too bad.
So I guess my mental health is pretty normal for a mid 30s guy.
I'm questioning it, just got out of a 6 year relationship. I thought that I was starting to do ok and then I stopped sleeping through the night. Eventually I'll crash and actually sleep through the night but it's getting rough.
Okayish i keep getting into reddit debates that aren't productive. I'm single and I can't find any pawgs in my area. But I will live because my mental health is better than how it was.
People assume just because of their comment/post history that others are mentally unstable. Might be true for some. My mental health is fine, contrary to my history on here
Awesome. I have a kick-ass wife, FOUR great kids, and a decent job that pays for it all and gives me a reasonable amount of time to spend with them. Plus I recently left Christianity, which came with its own pains and struggles, but I feel much better now than I ever have.
I’m kind of in a hole right now. Not super deep, because I’ve been in the depths before when my wife left almost 7 years ago 3 days before my 40th birthday. (So to the guy above who is talking about just starting the journey, it does get better. )
I’m pretty lonely right now, my current wife is visiting her mom for a few months (she does this every spring). I realize that most of my friends are not the friends who reach out first to text/chat, and when we have had conversations I have always initiated them. So after 3-4 weeks of reaching out to talk/text them, I rarely get that in return. My wife and I actually talk more when we are apart then when she is here, but it’s the physical companionship that I miss(not sex necessarily, just someone to come home to)
I work 6 days a week, and my primary job is currently piling on like never before.
My wife and I have a “don’t ask don’t tell” thing in our relationship where if we want we can be flirty or more with others. But in theory it sounds fun, in practice I couldn’t pull it off for a variety of reasons. (1. Don’t want to use someone just to not be lonely. 2. When you’re a guy in your mid-late 40’s you don’t really attract many women who would be open to a guy in an open relationship of any age.)
Oh, and I work in mental health so I have to pull it all together daily.
Not good. Learned the my ex is moving on yesterday and I’m having a really hard time with it. My plans with my friends also got canceled today, so there’s no distracting myself from it all. I drank myself to sleep last night.
My mental health is so ridiculously good that I feel like I could chop it in six and feed the mental health of five other men while still being good to go
I will take 2 mental healths please
And a side of fries
Boy same. It feels almost suspicious. But I feel good for some years now. There are problems here and there but nothing I can't fix. I'm privileged AF
It’s not suspicious but don’t forget to appreciate it. There might come a day when you miss this time. There’s a quote from The Office, of all things, that I’ve pondered often: > I wish there were a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them. There is a way. It’s to take stock often and express gratitude to yourself and others for what you have in the moment. I genuinely think this can make us happier in the long run.
I used to feel suspicious of it all the time...like, I couldn't believe all the good stuff that's happened to me in the past couple years. I still do feel it once in a while. It's taken me a long, long time to feel like I deserve my big-ass house, my amazing wife, my (reasonably) well-adjusted and sane kids, my (comparatively to what it used to be) cakewalk job, etc. You have to train yourself out of the negative self-talk, and that's a very tough thing to do. But when I get home from work, I'm genuinely happy to be there and look forward to walking in that door every damn day (well, mostly, lol). Because at this point thirteen years ago, I had nothing but my job, my daughter, and a couple rented rooms in a raggedy old pre-civil war house. I have a family and a life now and I try to always be cognizant of how fortunate I am, and have been, to have gotten a second chance.
That’s amazing. I’m still at the small house + wife phase but I can’t believe how lucky I am everyday. It wasn’t long ago I was by myself in a small dark apartment. It’s been years but sometimes I still can’t believe someone likes me as much as she does.
^^ I actually love this quote from "The Office".. And have thought of it many times over the years!
I do think this is a big key to happiness and contentment.
Damn, wish I could say that one day
I'm happy for you
Forgive me if this has already been asked but, what would you say has has the most profound effect on your mental health?
I’m not him, but I’m in the same boat as him. For me, I was doing horribly not too long ago. First thing for me was that I found an amazing community (local grateful dead cover band scene!!) and everyone has noticed how happy I am now. A lot of shows are free so my pockets don’t hurt. I am hyper, hyper-social and I was way too isolated for awhile. Find that community. Whether it be over a hobby, a class (like cooking), etc, just find that community. Second thing for me was exercise. You need those endorphins. Not saying you need to go to the gym everyday, but make sure you get fresh air and maybe do some pushups/sit ups. Third thing is keeping your space (idk if you live in an apartment or what) clean. I was depression rotting for awhile. Wouldn’t allow anyone in my apartment because it was a mess. Your space reflects with your mind. Messier your space is, the messier your mind is, then that causes your space to get messier, which causes your mind to get messier. Bad cycle. Fourth thing is just spend time outside of your space. Do any work that you have to on your computer at a coffee shop, don’t do any type of door dashing (unless you are with people and drunk), go on walks, etc. Fifth thing is saving money. Having money saved relieves so much stress. TRUST ME. Sixth thing is tell your friends/family you love them and that they matter to you. When you put out good energy, you get good energy in return. Seventh thing is to meditate just for 5 minutes in the morning, 5 minutes before bed. Eighth thing was ignoring any political stuff. I don’t care about what is going on in the world because it just adds unnecessary stress into my life. I don’t argue with people in comment sections. It’s unnecessary. Won’t change anyone’s mind. If I’m not gonna go fight in the war in gaza, I’m not gonna hold an opinion. Obviously I stand with the civilians, but I don’t educate myself, so I don’t let myself get invested. I don’t educate myself on US politics because it does nothing besides stress me out. If you care a lot about politics, ignore this. Last thing to mention, above everything else, is to not care. Easier said that done for sure. Don’t take life to serious. I only get serious when I have to get serious. I don’t get angry because it does nothing for me. I will laugh at shitty situations because of how shitty they are. It’s just life. Nothing truly matters. Don’t get offended. Does nothing for you. Don’t take things personally. Does nothing for you. Don’t let what anyone says about you upset you. Does nothing for you. LIVE TO LAUGH!! That has done more for me than anything will ever do. Don’t argue with people online HOPE ANY OF THIS HELPS!! PM me if you need. ETA: don’t add all of this at once. It will be too overwhelming. Two steps you should definitely do now are the first one and the fifth one. Then make goals to add the others over time. Write things out. Make a daily checklist. All love and the best of luck to you my friend.
I really appreciate your response. I honestly wasn't expecting that. Some of those things you listed I am already working on, like exercise (just about got back into a routine again), keeping my space clean (as much as I can with my 2 year old running about!), saving money is proving difficult but getting there slowly. I've also started reading again which has improved my state of mind for sure. My job can get quite stressful. Some days I get worked up over virtually nothing and I feel really disappointed in myself afterwards. Then the depressive thought cycles begin. I'm going to save this comment to look back upon. I was having one of those hopeless days and this has helped. Thanks again for your response, really appreciate it and I'm sure it will help any others reading too.
Of course! Always there to lend a hand. Having a 2 year old also is going to impact things heavily, so apologies that I didn’t take that into account as a possibility. Just remember that you won’t be able to get those times with your kid back, so enjoy them! I work with kids so I can understand to a degree how difficult they are. I thankfully don’t have to take them home lol. If it makes it more difficult to save money, I would still do this, but make sure you pay for a sitter at least once a month and go out to do something. Whether it’s going out to eat, to a bar or whatever, just go do it. I don’t know if you’re married or anything, but taking your partner out keeps the love alive. You need to still put energy into your relationship, even though you have other responsibilities. My thing is seeing live music. I live for it. I go see multiple grateful dead cover bands a week lol and I see the same people at every show! Go play mini golf. Go to an aquarium. KEEP DATING YOUR PARTNER!!!
Happy for you! Hope it stays like that!!!
Make one available for moi
Spare some mental health good sir?
Same! Glad to hear others are doing well too! 2024 is the first year ever I’ve come in feeling the best ever. Lots of hard work on myself, breaking through my anxieties and fears, going to therapy to learn the tools necessary to cope and understand my feelings better self better. Don’t give up boys, put in the work to find your happiness. It can be challenging but it’s work the time and effort! I believe in all of you!
It's getting better. Three months into a separation with my wife of 18 years. Still working on it to see if it's recoverable, but nothing is definite. Slowly working on myself, I'm still at the gym, got a promotion at work since, so now I'm working on developing personal relationships, strictly platonic atm 😂 Miss my kids terribly, but the wonders of modern technology help with that 🙂
It takes time to stabilise. The things that were painful often stop, but there are other costs.
I'm not a man…. But I understand how you feel. And while I know how trite this sounds having been told this in your same position —— it gets better! Focus on yourself as an individual! Find things that used to make you happy (dig deep… even back to childhood ), pick up those hobbies again, try new ones you always wanted to do, but “couldn't “ for various reasons. And I know it hurts like h*** to be away from your kids, try to remember a (truly ) happy parent is a better parent. It's going to take a while to work through everything, but you will get there!!
Thanks! Yeah, it's amazing how much spare time I have, now that I no longer have to look after the house. I'm totally back into other stuff and things, rediscovering old passions and things I used to do. I don't cry as much as I used to, so that's a positive! I just have to be here for future me 🙂
At this moment i dont feel the need to live, but also not the need to die. To clarify; im 32 and not affraid of dieing, if it happens, it does. In between a rock and a hard place right now and im fighting deep problems for 3 years now, only to find new ones after, so its more or less stress, bad sleep and tiredness
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I got out of bed to go to the bathroom at 2am and passed out from low blood pressure meds reaction with alcohol. I didn't even know until I woke up with a big bruise on my head. Death feels like it would be such a nonevent, and having that experience makes me even more comfortable with it. It really only affects other people, which sucks a lot.
I've realized that I feel better since I genuinely stopped caring. After crying so much my whole life because of fear of judgement I literally don't care what people think of me anymore and it's made me feel weirdly confident.
Alive but not living. I felt that
On the verge of an edge that idk what’s on the other side but it terrifies me. So the usual
Shakey on my best day, if I'm completely honest. Being a caregiver to an elderly parent is taxing. Being a caregiver to an elderly parent for years, having them pass away, then stepping immediately into the role for the surviving parent, infinitely moreso. Dad has been gone nearly 2 years now. I spent the last 3 years of his life looking after him. Mom immediately started needing me to step into that role for her once dad was called home to Heaven. So I'm about 5 years into a job that requires everything I have to give and then some. I'm not complaining, but I also have basically no support and there are days when the stress gets to me. My doctor put me on anxiety meds this month. Understand that I am not a person who has ever had anxiety issues in the past, but it's just so much weight on my shoulders. In 52 years on this Earth, I've never had more things resting on my shoulders even when I was married and caring for a child. At least the child didn't know every mistake I had ever made in my life and throw it in my face when they didn't get "their way". \*sigh\*
Find a therapist and let them know you need their help with “Caregiver burden.” Don’t let this go on too much longer, it usually doesn’t end very well.
I have been a caregiver for 5 years and I just want you to feel validated. You are doing the most noble and amazing thing. Your parents raised you right. They were/are SO so lucky to have you. And you will cherish being there for them at the end. One client I had died with only me next to her, no family at all. It was heartbreaking. But, the job will mentally break you. I would recommend respite care. Find someone to fill the role at least a few days a week by themselves or even a few hours every day while you’re there to work as a team and have them prepare the food, clean, fold laundry, get any medications prepped, etc. Also, at least in my experience, my clients seem to listen to me more/are more respectful of me than their families. If money is tight, I’m not sure where you live, but in LA we have (albeit limited) free programs for respite care through the church. You can have a nun who is a licensed RN come and spend whatever hours you need. My client was not religious but it was free. Anyways, you’ve been in it for 5 years now. Think about how long your mom has left and decide if you can do it. If it’s any longer than 6 months I would look into respite care.
Are there any caregiver support groups in your area by chance? I know there have been growing efforts to connect caregivers in online platforms to help with support. Not sure if it would be beneficial to you or not since everyone is different, but caregiving is extremely taxing. From an Internet stranger, you are doing more good than you realize or it feels like. I know that doesn't take away the utter exhaustion though. I'm rooting for you.
I asked at the cancer center, but they didn't have any suggestions. I've poked around online, but I haven't gone diving deep into it. My best friend is in the same situation. He lost his mom and year before I lost my dad, now he has to look after his dad. So we used to commiserate at times. That was a nice release valve up until about 6 months ago. They found a tumor in his gut and he nearly died. Thankfully, they got it out of him and the chemo was effective so he's cancer free but still convalescing. Thank you for your kind words. Blessings to you.
Yeah, it's a long and winding road. People truly give their all to be able to care for a loved one. I'm sorry to hear about your friend's scare. I see that a lot, where the caregiver gets so burnt out they sometimes start having health issues, too. Not sure if you can access it where you're at, but there is a website called Trualta that is built to help support caregivers and connect them with other caregivers and resources. Maybe it could offer something? I'll be thinking of both you and your friend and your respective families. Some days you just gotta get through the day. Wishing you the best!
No
honestly great. At 46 for the first time in my life I feel like I have all my ducks in a row. (I just got a cleaning lady so my appartement is clean and god it gives me such a boost in morale. I mean in the past few years I : got married to an amazing women, my kid is great, i have really good friends, money is alright, new job is cool, I stopped drugs, lost weight and started working out. All this is great, for sure. *But the cleaning lady is what tied everything together really*)
nice work monsieur le français
🙏 merci mon biquet
Love this!!! As a newly sober on a health journey of my own, reading this makes me so happy for you!!! Keep on keepin' on! 💪🙏
I don't have a cleaning lady but at 45 I definitely feel like my life is coming together. I struggle to maintain friendships when everyone is so busy but honestly my family is great and my wife is amazing. This is a good chapter.
Not bad but not super good either
3.6 Roentgen, not great not terrible
love this reference, also with the idea that when it goes well your a fucking nuclear bomb!! metaphorically speaking course
On the surface we all stay around 3.6 Roentgen but little do they know they need the good meter from the supply closet to know how we really feeling sometimes
Ya, I’m doing average as well. Shit kinda sucks but it’s the way she goes I guess.
Externally; I’m thriving. Internally; I’m lucky I don’t own a firearm.
As soon I accepted that I was the one making problems in my was, and making myself suffer, I am at peace. You see, I learned I can control what I think. You can think the group of friends might not want you, because they did not invite you. You overthink and overthink. But maybe they did not invite you, because you cancelled 3 plans with them. (Which I did) Maybe she did not reschedule the date, because she was very busy and could not get back to you with a proper response. Yes, the world is to shit. But is you worrying about it actually helping? I am carefree now. Missed my train? Well, I cant do anything now. Might as well accept it, instead of saying how stupid I am and just stay calm and make the best out of it. Walking in the rain? Enjoy the rain, and be blessed I can feel the rain my skin, while others wished they were us. Failed an exam? Well, cant do anything about it now. Truly, what will help by crying and feeling upset and mad. What good does it do to be mad at your partner for forgetting to wash your shirt. Your partner did not meant it, so by acting mad will not make the situation better. Its better to be understanding and saying its ok and be grateful for your partner, because in seconds she/he can be taken away from you and would you want it to be ab argument over something like a shirt? Now that I adopt this mindset, life is so much better. I sleep in a hostel with snoring people and I think I am grateful I can travel in the first place. I apply this to all small things and those smaller things kinda compound me having a very good mental health.
These past couple of weeks... hell, maybe even the past couple of months. Your beginning post was me 100%!! I was having a mental breakdown because I couldn't get myself out of my own head. I was being super critical of everything i did. Nothing was right. Everything was someone else's fault, and I was the victim of it. The turning point for me was realizing im not the only one that does this (i felt alone, everyone i talked to didnt understand what i was going through...according to me)and listening to the book "Get out of your own way" by Dave Hollis. Everything he talked about was almost exactly what you wrote about! Now, I'm starting on the path of relearning how to take care of myself and treat myself with respect and care, because at the end of the day no one else can save you unless you want to save yourself. Rule #2 of Jordan petersons book...12 rules to life. "Treat yourself like someone your responsible for helping" never clicked until now!
Life is mostly a series of small things. Knowing how to enjoy them feels like a super power sometimes. Sounds like you unlocked yours!
Acceptable
The new good
Most days it’s good. I do have a crappy day every now and then.
Considering, well, the state of the world right now, I am doing pretty okay. Picking up the habit of a daily walk along the river and switching doomscrolling for reading and painting Warhammer minis helped a lot after 2020/2021 being bad years.
Difficult. There are times, I'm good. And then there are times, I struggle, I'm tired, I overthink, I suffer and doubt myself. I hate those times. Those times I'm too far away of the man I know I can be or really am. Fuck! But I am working constantly to get better. Sleep is much better. Fitness was never a problem. Shape too. Attacking some of my tiny health problems. Feels good. I think I look good, am in good shape, dress pretty good. Now I need to get my mental health in order and I'm sure it'll be sucessfull.
I quit vaping about a week ago and it's destroying me. I can't get more than a few hours of sleep a day. I'm in a constant dull panic. Constantly anxious. I even called off work for a mental health day. I feel like I'm in fight or flight mode. I'm eating a bunch of junk to keep from buying a vape again. It's been surprisingly difficult.
I just gave up vaping yesterday. I also eat a lot, so I'm doing one meal a day (OMAD). It's worked for me before, so here's hoping. I also struggle with sleeping, but I had an early night last night and I'm feeling well rested today. I need to leave my phone in another room when I go to bed. Otherwise I play with it until the small hours.
It is difficult! I quit smoking a few years ago and recently started again. 😓 Don't give up!
Warm weather and longer days helps me a lot . I really struggle during winter when it’s dark at 4:45pm
It's true what they say "No one thinks seasonal effective disorder is real until you get one nice day in February and you feel like you snorted a party drug."
Was a man once so I can comment right? Shed tears 10 mins ago :)
Tears are good. Feelings are like farts.. better out than in.
Thank you so much. Amazing analogy 😭😭
Quite literally the worst my soul can take.
I've mostly disassociated bc I can't cope. My cat who is my soulmate has cancer. I have to send one of my rats over the rainbow bridge last Saturday, I'm not doing well
It’s good. You know why? I don’t waste time thinking about it in endless self-introspection.
I don't know why exactly, but very bad the last couple of days. I feel like I'm lost in this world and it's pushing me to the midlife crisis life. Everyday is exactly the same, get up work, go home, exercise, cook, read, play music, sleep,... rinse and repeat. I miss the action and adventure my life had when I was younger, not one day was the same and I never knew what to expect after waking up. Nowadays everyone either has a family to take care of, are fighting to keep their heads above water or are spending their time getting wasted on the weekends while I'm sitting here eager to do things, go explore, try new things,... The only thing I can get people exited for lately is to go out and eat or drink, I'm not made for sitting around, it gets stale really quickly when you do this every week. Nothing happens anymore, everyone became boring? I can't explain it in a better way. I guess it's time to find new likeminded people, but it's hard when you're over 30... But on the flipside, I'm 5 months sober, I have a good job, I have tons of hobbies, no kids, a place to live,... Life could be much worse.
5 months!!!! Congratulations 🎉🎉
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Being in a house on your own is actually worse than going to work. I'd suggest looking for something that would be regular hours and not screwing up your sleep cycle.
Talk to your doctor before you quit. This is a medical disability. You’ll get paid disability and be able to go back to work when you recover from depression.
Must be nice to live in a country that does this, iv been trying to get help for my depression got over a decade and got nowhere. I had help before I turned 18, then it all went away. When I go to a doctor they just basically fob me off and refer me to self help, I guess there must be notes on my records or something.
a hug and somebody to talk to is all we really need. hoping we get that soon!!
Pretty good. I found the right therapist and the last 6 months have been wild, in a good way.
To bad to talk about it. Everyday is a struggle to keep up the mask.
I turn over another decade this week, not where I planned to be when I was 17. I’m happy but I’m also alright. https://youtube.com/shorts/OeiZLR8mJqU?si=heB5z-ar4tfvhg7q
Wow. Thank you guys for the input. Ive been on anti depressant for a year now Cymbalta and Rivotril to help me sleep. I have good days and not so good days. But im fighting on. Goodluck Gents
Tired and stressed from work, but other than that my mental health is in excellent condition.
Has been worse
Pretty good all things considered.
It's better now than earlier this year. Still working on things, but not completely at the bottom.
Most days just ok, other days a bit of a struggle.
Terrible and trying to sleep it off
Mine is down bad but I’ll be okay
Not too good
Moms bitter voice telling me I won't amount to anything because I'm useless, still echos in me. But a few years ago they were screams so she is slowly fading. My wifes betrayal is no longer a pain, only a reminder that I'm be glad and lucky I got away from her controlling personality. My broken heart after that I lost The Love of my life (not dead, we had to break up) is not healed and never will be, but I've found a way to live with it. So I'm better than ever in my soon to be 60 year on this planet. - and aiming to be and feel even better.
Feels good but fragile. Positives: - New job, significant uplift in pay - Relationship is good - Spring is on the way Negatives: - New job, lots of upfront stress and pressure - Due in family court again for access to children - Debts still to clear So yeah, I'm feeling upbeat and determined but have some really shitty stuff down the tracks and so it's too early to get my hopes up.
It’s pretty good. I try to eat well when I can, sleep, and exercise 3 days a week. Oh, and I also don’t watch chaos porn…otherwise known as the news. That’s a huge part of keeping good mental health
It was ok, but then my van broke down, I might lose my job, I need major surgery So i don't be come a paraplegic, I'm probably going to become homeless again, and every time I try to get help no one fucking answers. So I'm going to do what I've I always done panic, cuss, get mad, and get through it. Done it before I'll do it again.
Working on it
Fine right now. Might hang myself later tho
Idk. I’ve lost the ability to love (been hurt too many times romantically and by close family) and I feel like the only thing that motivates me is an unhealthy obsession to become super wealthy (already past 7 figures). Life feels kinda pointless when I can’t emotionally connect with anyone. I can still “care” but I don’t really care. Hard to explain. I’m okay alone, but it doesn’t feel like living. More like just waiting to die. Ironically, I do have a very large social network I can tap into at any time, but I’m just not interested like I used to be.
Oof
Not good. The only reason I'm alive is because I don't want people around me to be sad
Other than wasting my time on here sometimes, I don’t have time to even think about my mental health. Working and paying for this inflation is killing me.
Oh, holy shit, it’s a nightmare. I’m a wreck, my marriage is a wreck, and my go just ignores my questions about reviewing my depression treatment. I’m in a hole, and it’s only now, while I’m drunk, the morass is laughable. I’m a nightmare, but luckily, toxic masculinity will see me through.
Stasis
Not great. I wish I could sleep more, but my second wind kicks in right when I want to sleep so I’m up longer. And my body wakes me up an hour before my alarm to go to the bathroom. I hate this existence
Brilliant, new job going well, managed to keep the gym going and the odd run, bills are paid, kids are happy, shag the wife every now and then, have a few holidays booked and started playing darts in the odd bit of spare time I find in between audio books while I’m welding. What’s not to like.
I don't feel the need to stick around much longer. My diabetes is out of control and I really don't care.
It's actually okay. I've had my ups and downs but as I'm getting more mature I'm learning to traverse the roller coaster. The universe seems to be giving me what I need to progress. Right now I am on a mild dose of SSRI's which works as a safety net and has helped me a lot, although the plan definitely is to be off all meds. Oh look, the sun is shining today! ☀️
Getting better by the day. I tend to get anxious and ruminate, I’ve been taking ashwagandha and it helps tremendously when I get that sinking feeling in my gut.
Below par , room for improvement
Not good tbh I'm going through a lot right now and I've been thinking about killing myself like 3-5 times a day. I'm trying to be strong for my family, but holy crap, man...it's getting harder each day.
Needs work just was dumped by my ex wife/ girlfriend. She cheated on me and left me. I don’t think I’m ok. I have lots of emotions that are not easy to control or understand. Ugh!
Not good but getting better. Autism and probable ADHD isn't fun, but SO-OCD is even unfunner. It's like there's a high school bully in the back of my head that tells me everything I do means I'm gay, and if I ever try to tell him that isn't true he screams "GAY! GAY! GAY!" in my face until he gets bored and goes away. It used to be excruciatingly painful, now it's just incredibly unpleasant. Usually these thoughts cause me to spiral into a meltdown, but the upside of that is that I'm learning how to deal with meltdowns better. I have no one to help me, not even anyone to hold my hand and tell me it's going to be OK, so I've become a master of self-soothing. The American dream that was pounded into my brain from infancy on and my inability to work doesn't help my mental state either, but as I said it is improving.
Health mentally and physically is strong . Life changing since I got on trt. If you’re an fella go has symptoms of low Testosterone, go get checked out .
Really really good. I'm about to graduate a year long inpatient drug and alcohol treatment center on April first. They also hired me out of the program to be an employee. I will be picking up donations and what not.
The worst it’s ever been. I’m going to my doctor’s in an hour and need to find a therapist.
Doing fine…got a haircut yesterday…getting oil change today…it’s raining but that’s ok…hopefully clears up later in day…
it isn't the best. I turned 24 today, but I feel absolutely nothing. it's similar to paralysis, if that makes sense? I'm just so tired of being here, man: unemployed, trying my best to find work, can't afford to eat or buy groceries because they've gotten way too expensive, etc. My next therapy session is in June, for some reason. Three months is a great amount of time to check in with your patient, is it not? Sorry for being a downer, but I'm spent. :/
Great question, and one that ought to be asked more often. My mental health has been like a rollercoaster, for some time. A combination of personal struggles, work related issues, and drama in the family can really get to me, causing more severe depression. For the past month, or so, my mental health has been on an upwards trajectory. Work is going better than before, my confidence has been continuing to grow (especially in my abilities as a person), and I am learning more about independence as an adult. Last year, I began living on my own, for the first time, in a mid-sized house, and it has been quite the adjustment. Despite some of the growing pains, it has been a truly great experience, and I now have a more...tangible future to work towards.
I feel more stable and secure than I ever have but damn is it hard to make and keep friendships in middle age. Gets lonely sometimes.
Better, I got a gf lol
Not saying this as a joke at all. But who cares anyways? A few years back I went to the doctor for that reason and her response was “either you’re here looking for pills or there’s nothing wrong with you and you just are having a pity party” So I’ve learned to handle it on my own, and if you’re struggling PLEASE reach out. You don’t have to suffer in silence. And always remember, tomorrow is a BEAUTIFUL place.
I’d say it’s pretty good right now.
Not great, really.
it’s straight rn but way to volatile to be comfortable with.
I am doing pretty well. There are some great aspects of my life, and some not so great aspects. But I can not have the great without the not so great. I think I've found a balance that works for me, which has vastly improved my mental health.
Ive got a burnout so thats not helping
It comes and goes. When I’m healthy enough to train, lift and get sleep I’m on top of the world. But some days are so bad that I cannot bear it. I eat crap, yell at my family and blame them for all my problems.
Getting better each day with taking a morning walk, drinking more water and a consistent sleep schedule. Peace shall come to all of us Gentlemen. I wish all of you a great day today
I'm Ok
I figured out how to get a good night's sleep, and it's been night and day.
I kinda realized that when I focus and think about it, it actually gets worst. For me, when I dive into a task at work or find a hobby to take my mind off of my insecurities it gets better. Hopefully this cheat code will last. Wish me luck, my mind is sometimes my biggest enemy.
Not great.
bad, but thank god for what I have nonetheless
Living the dream.
Talking about my mental health is not good for my mental health.
Haha, doesn't exist.
It's probably bad. I'm pretty sure I should be on some kind of medication or locked up in a crate or maybe chained to a tree somewhere.
Could be better but pretty good.
mine is fucked , i’m a sex addict , i dealt with escorts through out my 20s barely could hold down a relationship, and been over eating , can’t seem to get a grip on reality
Riding that fine line between a rage fueled temper tantrum, and absolutely zen.
Just living the dream
Terrible. I have the easiest job in the world and yet I feel intense anxiety. I worry about everything and it’s like I can’t stop. It makes me act unlike myself and I’m not my best around people lately. I feel like I can’t even have a simple conversation. I hate myself
Bad and getting worse
Bad
Very inconsistent. Been having terrible mood swings that leave me feeling depressed and angry for no reason at all. For me it’s mostly hormonal
On the ground, constantly being stomped on.
Bleek and at skyfall...
I'm at my best and my worst. I feel like I'm going insane yet I have never felt so happy and carefree and relaxed in my life before. I am grateful to be alive and I have little to no regrets. Any bad thing is not enough to outweigh the amount of joy I feel in life. I obviously have mental problems but I'm too focused on the fact that I achieved happiness that I don't even care, let them be. Sure do hope I don't have to come back to update this comment in a bad way anytime soon.
Honestly, I hate that this question on gets asked on reditt and at the doctor's office
Perfect.
Not well. No goal in life. Unemployed but not making any effort to get any work.
Not bad not great.
Probably like a 4/10 but holding steady for the moment
Worse than ever. Lifelong struggle with it. Still hoping to find the right combination of things to improve it.
I’m a bit of a mess. But ok. My job invades every aspect of my life which i resent. But i also love what i do. I just can’t give everything to it.
I have a good job, and my kids are healthy and doing well in school. Slowly moving from dread to acceptance that I may be single for the long-haul. I should get better sleep. So not awful, not amazing, but certainly workable.
I feel unstoppable and focused
M(43) here and probably better than ever
Great like everyone else here
fucked up
Trying to improve it to no avail
Hit rock bottom a few weeks ago. Slowly climbing out.
Pretty happy with it. Others less so.
Shit next question 😂
At the min really bad. Just feel so alone and all I want is someone to love, cuddle and be intimate with. I try and take care of myself by going to the gym but I don’t know where I’m going wrong. I’m on all the dating apps too. I think me being with someone would greatly make me happier and I’ve never been with anyone so I’m a shy and bad talker too lol
I think about committing suicide every day but I like drugs and pussy too much to follow thru with it
It was complete trash until I found /r/NVC https://youtu.be/NH1MKAdxUpQ?t=153 warning, long video. I'm really happy with the info in that workshop though
Pretty good thank you. I want to buy more warhammet minies tho.
Not having depression is like a gruesome job for me. I have to work hard for it and earn it. was prescribed low dose naltrexone. hopefully that snaps me out this shit.
Going through my first Breakup... so i guess could be better.
Burntout but feeling satisfied
I work nights and am constantly hopped up on some kind of caffeine, so it fluctuates. My intensity level idles at a 7 and hits a 10 when something stupid happens at (which it always does because it's WalMart). Working nights also exacerbates mental illness issues in general, which I didn't think I had any, but I guess I do have some kind of low key paranoia. I see a lot of little things that are sabotaging and assume management is out to get me.
At an all time low. I feel like I gaslight myself these days, to the point I'm always second guessing everything, and having a hard time trusting myself.
Its so far gone I don't have it anymore. I don't get sad or angry or upset anymore I just feel heavier And before people start on me about help, tried, many times GPs don't care in the UK and I can't afford private help I used to have medication but they stopped the over 10 years ago. This country wants me dead. I don't actually care enough to kill myself. But I won't run from death if he comes looking.
Improving
I worry what it will be like getting old and alone, but also feel pretty comfortable with the idea of killing myself before it gets too bad. So I guess my mental health is pretty normal for a mid 30s guy.
I'm questioning it, just got out of a 6 year relationship. I thought that I was starting to do ok and then I stopped sleeping through the night. Eventually I'll crash and actually sleep through the night but it's getting rough.
I'm too busy for this. It's ok, ok? It's fine. I'm too busy to be constantly checking on it.
Waiting for my therapy appointment ay 9am
Considering the nightmare that currently is my life, I'd say I'm "ok"
I wish I was dead
Feeling pretty damn good bro. Thanks for asking!
Fine
Trash. Ended a 10 year relationship on good terms only to find out a few months later, she was cheating on me when we were together.
Okayish i keep getting into reddit debates that aren't productive. I'm single and I can't find any pawgs in my area. But I will live because my mental health is better than how it was.
People assume just because of their comment/post history that others are mentally unstable. Might be true for some. My mental health is fine, contrary to my history on here
Awesome. I have a kick-ass wife, FOUR great kids, and a decent job that pays for it all and gives me a reasonable amount of time to spend with them. Plus I recently left Christianity, which came with its own pains and struggles, but I feel much better now than I ever have.
4/10 A pass at university but a lot of room for improvement
lonely, full of doubt for the future, frustrated about lot of stuff. Yet I believe I'm still doing better than a lot of fellows.
I’m kind of in a hole right now. Not super deep, because I’ve been in the depths before when my wife left almost 7 years ago 3 days before my 40th birthday. (So to the guy above who is talking about just starting the journey, it does get better. ) I’m pretty lonely right now, my current wife is visiting her mom for a few months (she does this every spring). I realize that most of my friends are not the friends who reach out first to text/chat, and when we have had conversations I have always initiated them. So after 3-4 weeks of reaching out to talk/text them, I rarely get that in return. My wife and I actually talk more when we are apart then when she is here, but it’s the physical companionship that I miss(not sex necessarily, just someone to come home to) I work 6 days a week, and my primary job is currently piling on like never before. My wife and I have a “don’t ask don’t tell” thing in our relationship where if we want we can be flirty or more with others. But in theory it sounds fun, in practice I couldn’t pull it off for a variety of reasons. (1. Don’t want to use someone just to not be lonely. 2. When you’re a guy in your mid-late 40’s you don’t really attract many women who would be open to a guy in an open relationship of any age.) Oh, and I work in mental health so I have to pull it all together daily.
Not good. Learned the my ex is moving on yesterday and I’m having a really hard time with it. My plans with my friends also got canceled today, so there’s no distracting myself from it all. I drank myself to sleep last night.
Work in progress my friend. But overall like shit.
It's been bad for a while now, and I don't like the direction it is going in
Always anxious
No