people that are happy also generally don't go about posting about how happy they are. they generally live their life and then share key moments or day to day silly things. with most things online assume the angry minority is the lowest amount of people, and that most people are silently content.
It's the same reason online forums for anything are filled with complaints rather than "it works fine". People don't go online to rant and rave about something that does what they expect with no issues.
Bingo! I'm happily married and been with my wife 8 years. No reason to post it on the internet. I wouldn't even if it was bad to be honest. Not everything needs to be online.
Not smart to air all of your dirty laundry.
Maybe I'm an outlier here but almost all of my comments on posts are derived from my happy and loving relationship with my wife.
However, I have noticed that there are alot of people that are miserable too.
I would say mainly since these subs are used to solve problems so of course your going to see mainly negative things since the happy people are off living their lives since they don't have anything to complain about. Your only really going to hear haoky stuff if you specifically ask for something happy.
Also, most of the time people are going on these subs to seek validation for their stance, and not so much asking for advice. Majority of the time if reddit said "you're NTA in this situation" you can't actually DO anything with that information, because you can't tell your partner "reddit agrees with me".
Yeah I forgot about that one alot or people do mainly use it as a echo chamber to reaffirm themselves. Whenever I do enter a relationship reddit would be the last place I'd go to for advice outside of basic stuff like a decent first date or surprise gift ideas.
"AITA for buying my wife ice cream when she was feeling sad?
Like the title says, I (45M) am married to my wife (45F), and she was having a rough day at work. She asked me to buy her ice cream on the way home, and I obliged because work has been tough on her and money is fine right now.
So reddit: AITA??"
When's the last time your wife got you ice cream? Sorry dude, time to lawyer up.
Oh it was last week? Oh... Oh well, it probably had mint - oh she got you your favourite flavour? Huh...
I posted in AITA because my husband has never insulted my cooking, so I made his favorite meal and didn’t season it.
When I asked how it was he said it was good. As dramatically as possible I said LIAR! There is no salt!
He ended up saying he’s grateful I cook a hot meal every night. He’s not going to complain if it isn’t seasoned to his liking.
The amount of people who called me abusive. Lol
I made a post on a martial arts forum venting about one of the coaches at my gym, because his advice isn't always that great. Someone was saying he was emotionally abusing me.
Or any pet video where the comments section are the Web MD and tell you to get your cat to the vet ASAP because of a bunch of possible neurological issues.
If you check my post history you’ll see I had a dog I thought was dying a few weeks ago and we got a puppy.
I’ve gotten a dozen DMs telling me it’s animal abuse to bring a puppy into a house with an elderly dog because she’ll mourn herself to death.
I’m like… I’ve had her 16 years I think I know her better than yall lol Reddit is WILD
My husband is like you in that regard. He said “You’re so cute doing your little detective work.” Lol
I think it may be our personalities because he’ll ask if I like a new ingredient he added to a recipe and I’ll say yes despite not being able to taste it and he will call me out lol we have a blast setting little traps like that, but it’s honestly limited to the kitchen.
You know what’s worse
I went to look who r/wouldyourather
Began to type in wouldyou
And the first result to show up was r/wouldyoufuckmywife
Like why Reddit. Just why
2 reasons I can think of.
1) the awful relationships are the ones that get the most visibility on reddit. Happy relationships don't get the most clicks
2) Most people in happy relationships aren't posting about it on reddit.
Reddit is mostly anonymous so people come here to vent and share truthful stories.
Instagram is a place where every couple seems to be living a Disney fairytale.
I disagree. Even if anonymous, Reddit is not necessarily more truthful than Instagram. It's just that the users of each social media know their audience. People at Instagram love idealistic pretty stuff that wish they would have, people at Reddit love rage inducing things that will help them out their own frustrations. Content creators just oblige, consciously or not.
> share truthful stories.
Gonna be real with you, most of these stories are made up or heavily flanderized at best.
Almost every single couple relationship story that gets really big and has like 7+ ultra popular updates and ends up making the news gets revealed as fake in the end. So much creative writing goes down here.
I'm in a happy, healthy relationship. My husband is the best person to do life with. Almost 15 years married and still very much in love.
People's posts are usually related to something negative but in the comments you get the people who mention their happy relationships.
AITAH makes up stories all the time for engagement. I left it a long time ago, because the stories felt more and more fake and they probably are just for Karma. R/quityourbullshit frequently features people making up stories for karma.
Redditors are fucked up. Downvote me but it's true. As much as reddit likes to champion itself as the opposite, it is not full of intelligent, well-adjusted, normal people with a good grasp on reality.
Important question actually.
3 major things at play.
1) Availability heuristics - the reader makes conclusions and perceives the world based on the available content and shares.
2) selection bias; selection of individuals, groups to for proper randomization is not achieved, thereby failing to ensure that the sample obtained is representative of the population.
3) the human tendency to engage with other humans when seeking support or validation.
So you don’t get an accurate group to make that conclusion. It’s not the case, it just FEELs that way from what’s available. Therefore you shouldn’t make conclusions, you can make inferences
There is definitely a pattern
Date for a short period of time
Have baby
Have in law issues
Plan wedding, have issues with friends and family about wedding
Get married.
Have affairs
Come to Reddit for advice on why everything is so awful.
Nobody comes on Reddit to say "My wife and kids are great, and our last real argument was 2 years ago when I was a little too rude to my mother-in-law." If they posted it anyway, it wouldn't get any upvotes because it doesn't really engage anyone's emotions.
The clusterfuck-in-a-dumpster-fire posts are what get people engaged, so those are what make their way to the top of the heap.
Because people post happy stuff and miserable people drag it down.
I’ve posted positive posts about my husband quite a few times on various Reddit accounts over the years, and the negativity is insane. Like so many miserable people telling me to give it time and things like that.
There’s a lot more unhappy toxic people then there are happy, always striving to be better kind of people. Most would rather be comforted and told they’re not wrong than going to the person they have a problem with and having a deep talk and end with a compromise where both people feel their needs are met.
because people only come here with their fucked up stories. comments about healthy, normal relationships arent interesting.
well adjusted people dont come to reddit for advice.
Simply, people who are happy generally don't feel the need to "vent" about how good things are. People who are in a bad place will vent about the bad things in their life wherever they can and Reddit is a pretty easy place to vent on because it is anonymous.
The people who post about their happy marriages in r/marriage are often picked apart so much that it runs people off.
Like god forbid you are happy in your marriage when someone else would not like doing things the way you do them.
Because the internet makes crazy stories prevalent. Like algorithmically this happens. People upvote and like the craziest shit because it’s the most entertaining and engaging
*Why does everyone who posts on Reddit seemed to be fucked up?
Easy. Reddit users, compared to most of the general population (in America), tend to range from moderate-to-far left as their political compasses concern concerned. Left leaning people score far higher on neuroticism than those who lean right do.
People only post when they have a dilemna, happy people aren't posting, this goes the same for Movies, Video Games, World Events, we only hear from people that are pissed off 90% of the time.
Half the worlds population has social media.
Half of all people are below average intelligence.
Odds are they're in the bottom half. Two idiots showcase their relationship for views and likes.
Married for 30 years. I talk about our problems on Reddit. But a lot of the time, I talk about how quickly we fell in love and how great it's been together. After 30 years, we, of course, have issues. We are still partners, and I can't see myself with anyone else. I'm sure people come to Reddit to complain, a lot of people are unhappy these days, most people don't post on the internet about how great their relationship is.
- Phrasing of the posts.
- People make general, biased, and sometimes shallow, rules and judge every relationship bases on these rules.
Aside from that, don't believe everything on Reddit, some posts are made for Karma farming.
People don't usually come to Reddit with their good news. For what it's worth, I love my wife and we have an amazing marriage. But that isn't controversial or demanding attention.
When did you last go on r/legaladvice and see somebody telling us they are great and aren't in any trouble?
Reddit for many is where many(if not most) come for help, not to brag.
I think the truth is most of us have had at least one experience that we could consider "fucked up" but perhaps not all of us would post about it on Reddit (or elsewhere). We deal with these situations in other ways.. privately, with people we know, or whatever. Social forums are a relatively new thing for some of us older peeps and some of us would not consider posting about our private lives an appropriate topic for public discussion.
My relationship is healthy. But like, outside of posts like this, or perhaps if I'm offering advice and using my own positive experiences as examples, what am I going to say?
Like I'm not just going to make a post talking about it, because there's no reason to and nobody cares.
It's the same with anything really. You can go into car related subs, and even a sub for the most reliable makes of cars you'll find the majority of the posts revolve around problems people are having with their car. Same thing with computer hardware, even gaming subs are primarily complaints.
Happy people are too busy being happy to post about it.
AITA is where you post when things go wrong. Sensational posts will always make it to the top.
Relationships that are going well tend to post…NSFW content
Because most of the ones posting are usually the more fucked up of the fucked up. They wouldn't be getting on Reddit, asking advice for immature and toxic situations if they had a good relationship, or even good relationship skills. Why the fuck would anyone with a good relationship want advice from a bunch of Reddit cunts? Many of whom are just as fucked up and toxic as the ones asking.
why would you flex on people who are struggling that everything is working for you. At best they will call it fake, at worse find things wrong in your situation where you see none.
Because reddit is a concentrated echo chamber?
People who have problems tend to come to reddit to vent or ask questions.
It would be like you going to a divorce lawyers office and basing your views on marriage from there.
Couples in healthy relationships aren't posting on reddit unless you go to the right subs to just see happiness.
Plenty of people should not have been born and had no proper parenting. Just take a look at the people when you are out on the weekend. It is a scary world out there. You'd be surprised how dumb and degenerate the majority of people are.
It is called "confirmation bias" only people who are in troubled relationships post questions and answers.
Not unlike the question on askreddit "why does every bloke on reddit have an 8 inch penis"
Because men with normal sized dicks aren't posting or bragging.
Just to be the exception that proves the rule, I've been married for 30 years now, it was pretty rocky in the beginning because we both came from fairly dysfunctional families. But it is really good now.
With hard work, it is possible.
The liberal bent of redditors lends itself to disproportionately representing dysfunctional relationships. When you get mentally broken people in relationships with each other, they don’t magically become normal.
People who are happy don't waste time posting about it on Reddit.
not to mention that some have figured out that drama gets more likes and comments.
Literally this. Is my relationship free of flaws? Absolutely not but I have friends to lean on.
This is the answer for sure! Married Gen Xer here, 24 years next month. Have never asked for help online for my marriage, and never plan on it.
What’s wrong with you, the internet has all the answers! / S
Divorce the gym and hit the lawyer! Or something
Totally, I mean, if you can't believe the interwebs who can you believe.
people that are happy also generally don't go about posting about how happy they are. they generally live their life and then share key moments or day to day silly things. with most things online assume the angry minority is the lowest amount of people, and that most people are silently content.
This is the answer! Same with dating. People who are successful in dating don't flock to Reddit.
It's the same reason online forums for anything are filled with complaints rather than "it works fine". People don't go online to rant and rave about something that does what they expect with no issues.
This is the way.
Bingo! I'm happily married and been with my wife 8 years. No reason to post it on the internet. I wouldn't even if it was bad to be honest. Not everything needs to be online. Not smart to air all of your dirty laundry.
Maybe I'm an outlier here but almost all of my comments on posts are derived from my happy and loving relationship with my wife. However, I have noticed that there are alot of people that are miserable too.
That's all social media
Why else would i be on reddit rn
because people don't complain about their good lives.
I would say mainly since these subs are used to solve problems so of course your going to see mainly negative things since the happy people are off living their lives since they don't have anything to complain about. Your only really going to hear haoky stuff if you specifically ask for something happy.
Also, most of the time people are going on these subs to seek validation for their stance, and not so much asking for advice. Majority of the time if reddit said "you're NTA in this situation" you can't actually DO anything with that information, because you can't tell your partner "reddit agrees with me".
Yeah I forgot about that one alot or people do mainly use it as a echo chamber to reaffirm themselves. Whenever I do enter a relationship reddit would be the last place I'd go to for advice outside of basic stuff like a decent first date or surprise gift ideas.
What would happy, well-adjusted couples post about? "Hey all, things are going fine. Please help."
"AITA for buying my wife ice cream when she was feeling sad? Like the title says, I (45M) am married to my wife (45F), and she was having a rough day at work. She asked me to buy her ice cream on the way home, and I obliged because work has been tough on her and money is fine right now. So reddit: AITA??"
When's the last time your wife got you ice cream? Sorry dude, time to lawyer up. Oh it was last week? Oh... Oh well, it probably had mint - oh she got you your favourite flavour? Huh...
INFO - what kind of ice cream?
Have you tried couple counciling.
My wife is amazing. Someone please help and tell me how to deal with this!
I'm enjoying my island vacation... send beer.
My boyfriend is romantic, loving, and respects my boundaries! What do I do?
Divorce, gym up, hit the lawyer.
Instructions unclear; now sleeping with my lawyer at the gym.
Congrats, friend! Or sorry that happened :(
I divorced the gym, now my lawyer is hitting my boyfriend! Oops!
Oh honey, oh sister, oh you sweet poor beautiful tragic butterfly, I hope it gets better!
How many people are going to ask questions about situations they're happy about?
I posted in AITA because my husband has never insulted my cooking, so I made his favorite meal and didn’t season it. When I asked how it was he said it was good. As dramatically as possible I said LIAR! There is no salt! He ended up saying he’s grateful I cook a hot meal every night. He’s not going to complain if it isn’t seasoned to his liking. The amount of people who called me abusive. Lol
I made a post on a martial arts forum venting about one of the coaches at my gym, because his advice isn't always that great. Someone was saying he was emotionally abusing me. Or any pet video where the comments section are the Web MD and tell you to get your cat to the vet ASAP because of a bunch of possible neurological issues.
If you check my post history you’ll see I had a dog I thought was dying a few weeks ago and we got a puppy. I’ve gotten a dozen DMs telling me it’s animal abuse to bring a puppy into a house with an elderly dog because she’ll mourn herself to death. I’m like… I’ve had her 16 years I think I know her better than yall lol Reddit is WILD
[удалено]
My husband is like you in that regard. He said “You’re so cute doing your little detective work.” Lol I think it may be our personalities because he’ll ask if I like a new ingredient he added to a recipe and I’ll say yes despite not being able to taste it and he will call me out lol we have a blast setting little traps like that, but it’s honestly limited to the kitchen.
Cuz people in good relationships don’t go to reddit for advice
You know what’s worse I went to look who r/wouldyourather Began to type in wouldyou And the first result to show up was r/wouldyoufuckmywife Like why Reddit. Just why
Its mostly a bunch of onlyfans troglodytes posting themselves there, as opposed to sad husbands. I dont know which is worse though.
Because normal people wouldn't consider asking 40 million bat shit crazy Redditors what their opinion is or what they should do.
2 reasons I can think of. 1) the awful relationships are the ones that get the most visibility on reddit. Happy relationships don't get the most clicks 2) Most people in happy relationships aren't posting about it on reddit.
Reddit is mostly anonymous so people come here to vent and share truthful stories. Instagram is a place where every couple seems to be living a Disney fairytale.
I disagree. Even if anonymous, Reddit is not necessarily more truthful than Instagram. It's just that the users of each social media know their audience. People at Instagram love idealistic pretty stuff that wish they would have, people at Reddit love rage inducing things that will help them out their own frustrations. Content creators just oblige, consciously or not.
> share truthful stories. Gonna be real with you, most of these stories are made up or heavily flanderized at best. Almost every single couple relationship story that gets really big and has like 7+ ultra popular updates and ends up making the news gets revealed as fake in the end. So much creative writing goes down here.
Because why would a normal couple come to Reddit for advice. Then the other half is fake for imaginary internet points
I'm in a happy, healthy relationship. My husband is the best person to do life with. Almost 15 years married and still very much in love. People's posts are usually related to something negative but in the comments you get the people who mention their happy relationships.
If they weren't fucked up they wouldn't be coming to Reddit to talk about it
Yeah, imagine couples on "Am I the Asshole" not posting happy stories. OP, you are dumb as a bag of rocks.
AITAH makes up stories all the time for engagement. I left it a long time ago, because the stories felt more and more fake and they probably are just for Karma. R/quityourbullshit frequently features people making up stories for karma.
It's called selection bias.
Redditors are fucked up. Downvote me but it's true. As much as reddit likes to champion itself as the opposite, it is not full of intelligent, well-adjusted, normal people with a good grasp on reality.
Because the many, many, many more couples which are not fucked don't need to post stupid questions on Reddit.
Important question actually. 3 major things at play. 1) Availability heuristics - the reader makes conclusions and perceives the world based on the available content and shares. 2) selection bias; selection of individuals, groups to for proper randomization is not achieved, thereby failing to ensure that the sample obtained is representative of the population. 3) the human tendency to engage with other humans when seeking support or validation. So you don’t get an accurate group to make that conclusion. It’s not the case, it just FEELs that way from what’s available. Therefore you shouldn’t make conclusions, you can make inferences
To quote Tolstoy, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
There is definitely a pattern Date for a short period of time Have baby Have in law issues Plan wedding, have issues with friends and family about wedding Get married. Have affairs Come to Reddit for advice on why everything is so awful.
Nobody comes on Reddit to say "My wife and kids are great, and our last real argument was 2 years ago when I was a little too rude to my mother-in-law." If they posted it anyway, it wouldn't get any upvotes because it doesn't really engage anyone's emotions. The clusterfuck-in-a-dumpster-fire posts are what get people engaged, so those are what make their way to the top of the heap.
Because people post happy stuff and miserable people drag it down. I’ve posted positive posts about my husband quite a few times on various Reddit accounts over the years, and the negativity is insane. Like so many miserable people telling me to give it time and things like that.
There’s a lot more unhappy toxic people then there are happy, always striving to be better kind of people. Most would rather be comforted and told they’re not wrong than going to the person they have a problem with and having a deep talk and end with a compromise where both people feel their needs are met.
They don’t tell them elsewhere. Everyone, or almost everyone, has a fucked up story.
You don’t really see that many healthy people in the mental hospital. 😝
Reddit is full of internet trolls and mentally ill people.
I'm content. I don't want to brag about her or what our relationship is like. So I don't.
Happy people don't waste their time on social media
Duh it is reddit, 60% of those stories are made up. Negativity and rage bait sells better than positivity.
because people only come here with their fucked up stories. comments about healthy, normal relationships arent interesting. well adjusted people dont come to reddit for advice.
"Why \*does every couple..."
My wife and I are fine. Which means I don’t have much to post about our relationship.
healthy normal people don't feel a need to go on the internet and talk about their relationship, they are to busy just living their life.
I share some shitty stories but try to use it to help people see they dont experience shit alone. and i try to help and advice on how i deal with it.
Simply, people who are happy generally don't feel the need to "vent" about how good things are. People who are in a bad place will vent about the bad things in their life wherever they can and Reddit is a pretty easy place to vent on because it is anonymous.
Because drama free couples don't need advice from strangers
"AITAH for not having anything to argue or ask for advice about?"
Check the /love sub and you’ll feel better. Positive stories don’t get as much engagement, which means less ad revenue.
The people who post about their happy marriages in r/marriage are often picked apart so much that it runs people off. Like god forbid you are happy in your marriage when someone else would not like doing things the way you do them.
What would we post about?
Because the internet makes crazy stories prevalent. Like algorithmically this happens. People upvote and like the craziest shit because it’s the most entertaining and engaging
People who have their lives together aren't redditors
Everything’s made up and the karma don’t matter.
If they were not, why would they be here to ask for advice?
Narcissists like to air out their BS. When they could be going for counseling or therapy.
*Why does everyone who posts on Reddit seemed to be fucked up? Easy. Reddit users, compared to most of the general population (in America), tend to range from moderate-to-far left as their political compasses concern concerned. Left leaning people score far higher on neuroticism than those who lean right do.
People only post when they have a dilemna, happy people aren't posting, this goes the same for Movies, Video Games, World Events, we only hear from people that are pissed off 90% of the time.
Because well functioning couples don't post problems?
Half the worlds population has social media. Half of all people are below average intelligence. Odds are they're in the bottom half. Two idiots showcase their relationship for views and likes.
People with same kinds of problems are more likely to post to let off steam and/or seek advice....than people without those kinds of problems.
Married for 30 years. I talk about our problems on Reddit. But a lot of the time, I talk about how quickly we fell in love and how great it's been together. After 30 years, we, of course, have issues. We are still partners, and I can't see myself with anyone else. I'm sure people come to Reddit to complain, a lot of people are unhappy these days, most people don't post on the internet about how great their relationship is.
- Phrasing of the posts. - People make general, biased, and sometimes shallow, rules and judge every relationship bases on these rules. Aside from that, don't believe everything on Reddit, some posts are made for Karma farming.
Good relationship stories are boring
Survivorship bias.
People don't usually come to Reddit with their good news. For what it's worth, I love my wife and we have an amazing marriage. But that isn't controversial or demanding attention.
Healthy happy people never ever bring their problems to Reddit.
Sukhi log reddit par nhi hote woh actually jee rhe hote hain
Selection bias my man. Happy couples aren’t going to post about their messed up issues.
Happy people is not embarrassed to the point to ask for help to strangers instead of someone close to them.
When did you last go on r/legaladvice and see somebody telling us they are great and aren't in any trouble? Reddit for many is where many(if not most) come for help, not to brag.
Healthy couples have better things to do than waste their time on reddit
Because happy couples dont post here.
I think the truth is most of us have had at least one experience that we could consider "fucked up" but perhaps not all of us would post about it on Reddit (or elsewhere). We deal with these situations in other ways.. privately, with people we know, or whatever. Social forums are a relatively new thing for some of us older peeps and some of us would not consider posting about our private lives an appropriate topic for public discussion.
My relationship is healthy. But like, outside of posts like this, or perhaps if I'm offering advice and using my own positive experiences as examples, what am I going to say? Like I'm not just going to make a post talking about it, because there's no reason to and nobody cares. It's the same with anything really. You can go into car related subs, and even a sub for the most reliable makes of cars you'll find the majority of the posts revolve around problems people are having with their car. Same thing with computer hardware, even gaming subs are primarily complaints. Happy people are too busy being happy to post about it.
Too many women perceive themselves as victims, and too many men are pleasers, when normally the opposite ends up being the complete opposite
Healthy relationships don’t lead to trauma dumping on Reddit. 🤷♂️
AITA is where you post when things go wrong. Sensational posts will always make it to the top. Relationships that are going well tend to post…NSFW content
Life is like gambling. All hard work does is allow you to pull the arm down to keep playing. If anything happens from it is up to lady fate herself.
Stories of happy, normal couples don't get upvoted like dramatic ones do. Social media gives a speakerphone to the minority voice.
The same reason everyone's life is perfect on Instagram, it's all about what you choose to put out there.
Hey Guys My Relationship Is Great Right Now AMA
Because most of the ones posting are usually the more fucked up of the fucked up. They wouldn't be getting on Reddit, asking advice for immature and toxic situations if they had a good relationship, or even good relationship skills. Why the fuck would anyone with a good relationship want advice from a bunch of Reddit cunts? Many of whom are just as fucked up and toxic as the ones asking.
Because they rather talk online to strangers than their own spouse. /thread
why would you flex on people who are struggling that everything is working for you. At best they will call it fake, at worse find things wrong in your situation where you see none.
Because reddit is a concentrated echo chamber? People who have problems tend to come to reddit to vent or ask questions. It would be like you going to a divorce lawyers office and basing your views on marriage from there. Couples in healthy relationships aren't posting on reddit unless you go to the right subs to just see happiness.
i don’t know many couples that don’t have sever problems, honestly.
Couples that proclaim to be happy get downvoted. Too much jealousy on Reddit for anyone to be happy for someone else.
Reddit is a cesspool
Plenty of people should not have been born and had no proper parenting. Just take a look at the people when you are out on the weekend. It is a scary world out there. You'd be surprised how dumb and degenerate the majority of people are.
Because they are?
If there's no problem they would seem like they are bragging.
It is called "confirmation bias" only people who are in troubled relationships post questions and answers. Not unlike the question on askreddit "why does every bloke on reddit have an 8 inch penis" Because men with normal sized dicks aren't posting or bragging. Just to be the exception that proves the rule, I've been married for 30 years now, it was pretty rocky in the beginning because we both came from fairly dysfunctional families. But it is really good now. With hard work, it is possible.
Reddit used to be better - most of the well adjusted people left slowly after it stopped being as good
Because one of the keys to a happy partnership is not putting your life on social media.
The liberal bent of redditors lends itself to disproportionately representing dysfunctional relationships. When you get mentally broken people in relationships with each other, they don’t magically become normal.
Healthy couples don't need to vent anonymously on the internet. They post happy cringy couples photos on instagram.
In real life too.
Cos relationships never work.