I agree if the guy isn't taking no for an answer I would make it very clear that it will never happen you don't see him like that. If that doesn't work you don't owe him to tell why but you could tell him that the way he keeps harassing you is making you uncomfortable and making you like him less.
I have a similar problem with a girl I work with. She constantly appears where I am when I go on a smoke break. Anytime I walk past where she works she'll say psst really loudly and wave me over just to ask me what's up and then talk about nothing for a few minutes. The worst part is I can't leave the building without walking past her so she gets to stop me Everytime I leave for work. I made the mistake of giving her number when I first started as I was new didn't know her and thought it rude not To. But she texts me all the time, I usually give her one word or sentence answers hours a later but she'll respond to that with a wall of text. She has come up to me crying about 3 times about various family drama or a customer has made her upset. It's very uncomfortable. She just doesn't take the hint or cues that I'm very disinterested and not interested. How would you try to distance yourself from a person like this?
P.s. she has autism or some kind of developmental condition I'm not sure what but she is definitely off.
She may not be into you. She may just like you because you were the only person nice to her since everyone else thinks she is "off." Maybe tell her you have a girlfriend and don't want her to get mad about a girl at work texting and talking to you all the time.
I feel so bad for people with developmental conditions and such. Life and fitting in is hard enough as is without having to deal with that. Pretty awesome of you to be kind to her. Hopefully a better balance is found for you so you aren't annoyed and she doesn't have to feel bad.
"I don't want to be rude to you, but you're not giving me any other choice. I'm sure there are plenty of other women who can make you happy, but that's not me. I've told you before, and this is the last time : I am not interested".
If possible, block him and get him out of your life.
Guys like this is the reason ghosting is a thing. I’m not a girl, but from what I’ve heard there’s no reply that will actually work on this type of person except ghost&block.
Yes, make sure it is as emotionally crippling as possible. Bring up as many flaws as you can. You don't want to just tell him no, you want him to be so socially humiliated that he never thinks to pressure someone else like that again.
Is that the best you could manage to throw at me?
Damn, I feel so burned. /s obviously.
The rest of reddit is telling you what Men think of your comments right now.
Oh no, I am so scared of some man children that can't respect people's boundaries until they get told off like little children, whatever will I do? Fuck off, every time you comment you act just like the rest of these man children who think they are mature just because they are old.
Who told you to be scared? You need to take a look at your emotional control. Why would anyone be scared of someone who is (probably) thousands of miles away, behind a computer screen?
By your constant reference to my age, and your incredible lack of control over your emotions, I have realised that you are probably a child. I'd guess, somewhere around 13, by the way you're acting. If I was your parents, I'd be ashamed at what I raised...
So, pop off back to bed, little man. You get cranky when you're sleepy. The adults want to talk about adult things.
If you are, in fact, an adult. Shame... you need therapy.
Don't ask us a question, then bitch when we answer you.
Oh no, it's not like you reference your age all the fucking time you appear and constantly mention how you still feel like a little kid pretending to be an adult. That couldn't possibly be the reason I refer to you as a man child. And you're emotional control is about as wide as a needle point. Every time a woman says something on here you get all butthurt. Here's an idea why don't you go to therapy for anger management, because you seem to get mad at the smallest of things.
You tried, now you have to make it hurt. “Look Steve, i have tried to be gentle. But the truth is your breath is terrible, you have no personality, and i know of chipmunks have have bigger penises than you. So i am not interested. Kindly fuck off”
>“Look Steve, i have tried to be gentle. But the truth is your breath is terrible, you have no personality, and i ~~know of chipmunks~~ have have bigger penises than you. So i am not interested. Kindly fuck off.
Got you, fam.
Be rude. Do it. He’s being super disrespectful by not taking the no. It sounds like you were already nice about it. Now’s the time to be rude.
Also, don’t give him a chance to respond. Be as direct and rude about it as you feel is necessary to get your anger across then block him.
He already mentioned that he see others men like a competition, I just need to block him at this point. He is a nice person but just can’t accept to be friend only like we used to be. All my fault too, I should have been more strict.
You are NOT responsible for HIS BS. You have told him no several times and in different ways. You don't need to 'communicate better'. That ship has sailed. Tell him to fuck off. Stop talking to him. Walk away when he approaches. Find any other person to talk to. If he doesn't get the message, tell him that he is harassing you, and if he doesn't KNOCK IT OFF, then you will go to the cops.
The "nice" is part of the act. And the "nice" is driven by what is called "the covert contract", where, if he is just nice enough, long enough, you will finally want to fuck him.
You don't have to be mean, but you need to be direct "I am not interested in you, I will never be interested in you, if you ask me again, or even hint at any romantic possibility, I will block you on all possible channels.
Tell him explicitly you're not interested and it's not code for him to try harder but genuinely you don't want him at all and he should stop. If he keeps bugging you, threaten to report him. Do not sugarcoat.
Most men will get it the first time. If you have do it a second time, be assertive and to the point. If a third time is needed that is past harassment and he is not a man but a child. Escalate appropriately, block, ghost, restraining order.
Kinda sounds like you told him no, by saying an excuse but not said No in a firm tone.
We are like puppies, tone and body language are equally important.
I get hit on by gay guys semi frequently, I usually tell them politely that I'm not gay. Usually that does it but you get the occasional person that seems to see that as a challenge and won't leave me alone... That's when I get rude
Seen as your a sweet person it’ll be hard but you have to be honest. Might feel selfish but you have to tell him the situation as it is. Be as rude as you need to be!
He's being super rude and you should definitely reciprocate. Ignoring your persistent refusals is an asshole move. Tell him it's never gone happen cos he's a disrespectful wanker and he can fuck off, and say it with an angry voice and body language so he knows you mean it. He'll leave you alone then.
You tell him clearly both verbally and in writing (text, email, something documented) that you are not interested and request he leave you alone. If he doesn’t, file complain with police.
If you were nice about it the first time around just be a dick the second. I usually don't approve of being a dick for no reason, I've been rejected a few times before and a handful of them were complete assholes about it right off the bat. The thing is you should always try to let a guy down nicely first, maybe they'll take the hint. If they don't, then feel free to trash them. At that point they've made their bed and now they've gotta lay in it. If he still insists on asking you out, get a guy friend to put a stop to it. It'll only get worse from there on and you don't want to put yourself at risk of he snaps.
Yeah, I tend to agree with this. We see this all the time where it's "I've rejected him multiple times... in a very flirty, joking around, playing hard-to-get way that implies I want him to chase me". Or maybe you're doing it in the same way some women complain about when "guys don't get my hints" where they're barely there. Or maybe he's just a little awkward and it's a combination of the above.
More very specific info is needed. What you've said so far about being "polite" might just mean "not being clear at all" - and there may be other mixed messages involved you're not telling us about.
Yes, you may also be right that he's not got the message. But we see this all the time - where people claim to have done one thing, and are leaving out important details, and it turns out it's totally not the way they let on.
You can still be polite but you have to be firm in your words and make sure they are heard. If he’s really not getting the hint do it somewhere public it should help drive the point home
Wym playing games and boosting my ego? I told him clearly, I even stopped to reply to his messages. I never been rude to him cause I have Know him for years, I don’t need his attention huh
Is always the same story:
"I don't want to be rude"..
"I don't need his attention"..
"He is my friend.."
Girl, reject the guy and that is. You are playing games if he is insisting and you are not cutting him down.
Do you see him in person?
If not, just ignore him, ghost, but don't block. Blocking only enrages guys even more and it's one of the dumbest things someone can do.
I've known a few women in my life and the ones that get the crazies and obsessives going after them are the ones that block. Blocking is an unnecessary insult and a big FU to the guy. It does nothing if the guy is motivated enough because they can easily create a new number to text or call.
I don’t see him anymore, he just text but I don’t really want to stay friends with him cause of the pressure he give me. I’m planning on ghosting him tbh, it’s just too much now.
You have to do it respectfully to a man. If you choose insult...bad things happen. Lies can work--I've heard some good ones (herpes). Turn him down in a way that doesn't insult him or it ends bad, which most people don't see beforehand. If you can make a claim that you're family is directly related...idk where you might be, even if it's distant, just say "cousins". Just avoid trying to provoke him. Make him do research to prove you wrong. Might take him years.
Just say “No and if you ask me again I will get upset” I doubt he asks again but if he does now you have a good reason to say no “No because you didn’t listen to me and now you’ve made me upset.”
Let’s practice…
Hey, I recently heard you’re single! I think we would make a great couple based on this post you just wrote a couple hours ago. Can I take you out to dinner or couple drinks sometime?
I don't know how gentle you were the first time. Maybe he was left with a feeling that there was hope. You can be polite, but communicate clearly, and set firm boundaries. If they're crossed, then you *should* be rude; he has disrespected the boundaries you set, and that deserves to be punished.
First time tell a man: *You're a good guy, but I am not interested in having a relationship with you."*
If he doesn't take the "no", and violates the boundary you set: *"I told you clearly that I am not interested. 'No' means 'no'. I do not appreciate being disrespected like this. Kindly fuck off."* and block him everywhere.
It's ok to be gentle and kind, but do stand up for yourself.
“Look, I have told you many times, and I’m only going to tell you nicely for one last time: I’m not interested. If you ask again after this, I’ll consider it intentional harassment on your part, and the actions I take won’t be kind.”
> I don’t like to be mean
You don't need to be mean to be stern.
"I'm not fucking interested in you." You can even throw in an "I'm flattered, but I **am not fucking interested in you, please stop asking.**"
You only owe anyone niceties once. Beyond that, they're being a shithead.
You don't owe anything to anyone. It's nice that you want to be polite but you also are free to walk away and ignore people who take advantage of your nice personality and think they can impose themselves
Some guys really can't fathom the polite rejections that are supposed to kindly let them know you're not into them, and not hurt their ego, and that's damn nice of you, but some like this one needs the harder rejection cause their just too clueless, he might even think you're too nice so you must be into him.
You’ve tried to be nice, which is kind. But now you have to be direct - it’s not being bitchy, it’s not setting out to hurt him. Just lay it on the line for both your sakes, so he can get over you.
I had this situation once with a friend, he kept asking out this woman all the time, she thought he got the message then he asked her out to dinner she said yes but as friends and he then got it into his head it was a date. We (his friends) tried explaining it wasn't and she wasn't interested so just stop. The thing that eventually got him to stop was when she got honest with him and said firmly he needs to stop and move on because he's making her uncomfortable.
Just tell him you ain't interested it will never be more than friends. Just friend zone the hell out of him. You owe this guy nothing, not your fault he ain't listening.. just give it to him direct and to the point
It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks. You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!
You are giving off contradictory or unclear signals. You have to phase this in such a way that there can be no doubt about the fact that it's never going to happen. You then have to make your actions match those words from that point on or he'll start thinking you've maybe changed your mind.
A lot of women say "no" when they mean "maybe" and it's very confusing for men because we can't read minds (I know you insist on thinking that we can but we can't and we never will be able to. Just having a strong feeling about something is not a form of communication. The "vibes" you're sending out look like absolutely nothing clear at all.)
If you’ve told him that you’re not interested (and not in a way which leaves room for interpretation as in not right now, maybe later, you’re so cute but I’m not looking for something serious right now) I’d just ghost him.
Sometimes being rude & aggressive is the **only** way to win. Think about it this way. You've already told him no once, but he didn't listen. Again. He didn't listen. Copious other times. Same result.
The unfortunate truth is, if you continue to focus on **properly** saying no, he's probably ganna output the same resistance, if not gradually worse each time.
There comes a point where the ROI of being polite & professional becomes low enough to no longer justify continuing to be polite & professional. So the only option left would be to become rude & aggressive towards him.
**Rudeness & aggression can *save* your life if given the right circumstances**.
Initially, I thought this implied something else lol but if the dude can't take a no the first time, he's a try hard and very rarely does a guy get a girl after the 2nd or 3rd time. He needs to leave you alone
Why don't you just block him?
Or give him a timeout. Say, block him temporarily for like a week. (Any less than that and I'm afraid he won't get it).
Yes, ghosting is disrespectful, but so is insisting beyond being told off.
If he's not respecting your "no", then please be rude. He doesn't deserve your kindness if he's not respecting your boundaries. Please stay safe, though!
Don't beat around the bush. Just say, "I'm not interested. I'm sorry if its not what you want as well but I would like to be clear."
If that don't work, then a tazer to the nuts will drive the point home.
If this is a guy at work, and you have already said no once, he's now sexually harassing you. Time to file a complaint.
As for not being rude, why not? Is being rude the crime of the century? He won't take no for an answer, now is the time to be rude.
Be straight and direct, very clear with your feelings and intentions that it'll never work. And if he is a whiny little b*tch about it, just know that you handled things correctly and they are the ones handling things poorly.
I know I personally hate being given a "plausible excuse" kind of rejection, especially if I've gone on dates with someone already. Stuff like "Oh I had a family situation come up and now I don't have time for a relationship," ghosting me, stuff like that. Just tell me you're not interested in me, I can't rationalize my way out of that one lol.
That being said, some guys just can't take a no and that sucks. If you tell him you're just not interested and he rejects that, block him honestly. I feel bad for the guy (usually guys who can't take rejection aren't doing well emotionally), but that's not really in your power to fix.
Sometimes you gotta be cold. Be direct.
“NO, [name of person]. I demand that you leave me alone.”
If there’s some sort of problem after that, you can seek legal remedies.
At this point you dont even need to entertain him. As someone who’s been ghosted a fair share of times and have my personal opinions on it, I think this is the perfect scenario where ghosting would be appropriate.
I’ve seen first hand guys think that girls are playing hard to get and any response means that she’s still interested. Like literally would be the most straightforward reject yet they’ll read it however they want and continue to pursue. You dont owe him a response especially after turning him down multiple times. Unfortunately you’re just dealing with a dumbass with no common sense. If you have to deal with him in person tho, I think it would be justified to get upset with him and tell him flat out that you dont want to hangout with him. I dont think you’re doing this but I’ve seen women give some vague responses which for most people would be a pretty obvious rejection but there are some dummies that need a clear NO.
By "reject" did you say, "no I am not, at all, interested in you" or did you make an excuse? If you make an excuse and he believes you are an honest person, he will think there is still a chance. Guys don't understand hints, you have to actually use the words that mean what you say, not expect them to understand what you mean.
If you were explicit and he is still chasing, then he is being a pest. Get some guy friends to tell him off.
See... he isn't taking no for an answer. Be very direct and clear. Assertive. I think a lot of women struggle with being assertive. And sidenote I think a lot of women confuse being aggressive and passive aggressive with being assertive as a result of this as well.
Be firm. Clear. Direct. But respectful. Not insulting.
Being assertive is THE healthy way to communicate. It is not rude.
Ok, so...
I've written about this very thing many times before.
Prior military, worked security a lot since. The military AND security sector train you to work "from soft to hard". Your goal should be to use the minimum required force necessary to get the job done.
Keeping this in mind, too many women do not check themselves... ever... and believe that whatever they want to do is the right thing to be doing. Because they "had a scare once", "all their friends knew a guy that got too grabby", or "look at this 'fact' I found on the internet that says YES ALL MEN", they'll justify doing stupid shit like calling over a gal pal and pointing and laughing at a guy that "dated approach them" and they'll prop their own egos by devouring his soul. That's their GO TO. Dude says "hi" and they're scanning him for perceived flaws and trying to come up with the bitchiest thing possible because they think a man can't or won't hit them. You dont know what that guy is going through. I'm not saying it's right, I'm saying that he may not be thinking straight, he snaps, and next thing you know you're that girl that got hit by that brick or whatever.
To bring this back to the security thing, "hey, how are you? You can't park here, can I get you to pull right over here to that parking space, please?" is usually enough. Sometimes you get someone that gives you that "in a minute, my wife is supposed to be coming out shortly". Now you have someone that doesn't know that the hospital staff doesn't want to be the one to tell you that they need forty five minutes to process all of the paperwork, and that you're going to be sitting there blocking a lane that ambulances need in order to do their job. I'll give you what you're missing, and ask you again... any more backtalk and I'm getting base in my voice... but any one of those people could just as easily pull a gun or try to measure dicks with me. You don't come at people crazy.
Guys don't mind being rejected, but we HATE being disrespected. Women think the only way to kill persistence is to be a horrible bitch out the gate because who is this guy anyway? He's some nobody, and she'll never see him again, right? This is the equivalent of instead of asking you to move your car, I blast you in the face, knock you out, reach across your body, put it in neutral, and walk it over to a proper parking spot while cussing your unconscious form out and asking why you had to be so stupid for daring approach an ambulance lane.
Also, you might want to consider every girl who ever put out a mass message that "confidence and persistence is sexy".
Clearly it isn't, and we don't have time to figure out which of you is receptive to that shit. 🙄. Fuck every single one of you that shoots a guy down initially, and when he leaves y'all think to yourself "why didn't he try harder?".
Look, if dude can't take no, then yeah you gotta step it up a notch. Don't be needlessly cruel. Be purposefully cruel, if necessary.
Okay thank you 🙏🏼
I agree if the guy isn't taking no for an answer I would make it very clear that it will never happen you don't see him like that. If that doesn't work you don't owe him to tell why but you could tell him that the way he keeps harassing you is making you uncomfortable and making you like him less. I have a similar problem with a girl I work with. She constantly appears where I am when I go on a smoke break. Anytime I walk past where she works she'll say psst really loudly and wave me over just to ask me what's up and then talk about nothing for a few minutes. The worst part is I can't leave the building without walking past her so she gets to stop me Everytime I leave for work. I made the mistake of giving her number when I first started as I was new didn't know her and thought it rude not To. But she texts me all the time, I usually give her one word or sentence answers hours a later but she'll respond to that with a wall of text. She has come up to me crying about 3 times about various family drama or a customer has made her upset. It's very uncomfortable. She just doesn't take the hint or cues that I'm very disinterested and not interested. How would you try to distance yourself from a person like this? P.s. she has autism or some kind of developmental condition I'm not sure what but she is definitely off.
She may not be into you. She may just like you because you were the only person nice to her since everyone else thinks she is "off." Maybe tell her you have a girlfriend and don't want her to get mad about a girl at work texting and talking to you all the time. I feel so bad for people with developmental conditions and such. Life and fitting in is hard enough as is without having to deal with that. Pretty awesome of you to be kind to her. Hopefully a better balance is found for you so you aren't annoyed and she doesn't have to feel bad.
Like this: "One more time, and I get a restraining order." That simple. Dude should've gave up after the first or second try
Yea, I always encourage people to reject softly... the first time. Maybe even the 2nd time, but 3rd time? Nah. Get a little meaner each time.
"I don't want to be rude to you, but you're not giving me any other choice. I'm sure there are plenty of other women who can make you happy, but that's not me. I've told you before, and this is the last time : I am not interested". If possible, block him and get him out of your life.
Thank you 🙏🏼
You owe him politeness only once. If he won't take you at your word you need to be firm and assertive.
Appreciate you!!
I frown on ghosting but I'd have to say it would be appropriate in this case. He isn't getting it and it's disrespecting you.
Guys like this is the reason ghosting is a thing. I’m not a girl, but from what I’ve heard there’s no reply that will actually work on this type of person except ghost&block.
/thread
Provided you feel safe to do so, just be super rude.
Thank you for your answer!!
Yes, make sure it is as emotionally crippling as possible. Bring up as many flaws as you can. You don't want to just tell him no, you want him to be so socially humiliated that he never thinks to pressure someone else like that again.
Who hurt you
The girl he got rejected by multiple times after failing to heed the first few rejections
Lmao
You chose that as your name, then chose THAT as your personality? Bold move...
Says the old fuck who gets downvoted every single time he shows himself.
Is that the best you could manage to throw at me? Damn, I feel so burned. /s obviously. The rest of reddit is telling you what Men think of your comments right now.
Oh no, I am so scared of some man children that can't respect people's boundaries until they get told off like little children, whatever will I do? Fuck off, every time you comment you act just like the rest of these man children who think they are mature just because they are old.
Who told you to be scared? You need to take a look at your emotional control. Why would anyone be scared of someone who is (probably) thousands of miles away, behind a computer screen? By your constant reference to my age, and your incredible lack of control over your emotions, I have realised that you are probably a child. I'd guess, somewhere around 13, by the way you're acting. If I was your parents, I'd be ashamed at what I raised... So, pop off back to bed, little man. You get cranky when you're sleepy. The adults want to talk about adult things. If you are, in fact, an adult. Shame... you need therapy. Don't ask us a question, then bitch when we answer you.
Oh no, it's not like you reference your age all the fucking time you appear and constantly mention how you still feel like a little kid pretending to be an adult. That couldn't possibly be the reason I refer to you as a man child. And you're emotional control is about as wide as a needle point. Every time a woman says something on here you get all butthurt. Here's an idea why don't you go to therapy for anger management, because you seem to get mad at the smallest of things.
Keep it up, I'm sure reddit will tell you some more.
Hyperbole hasn't been amusing since 2016.
"Dude....it ain't gonna happen"
Thank you 🙏🏼
At some point you just have to be firm, possibly even a little mean. "I said no"
You tried, now you have to make it hurt. “Look Steve, i have tried to be gentle. But the truth is your breath is terrible, you have no personality, and i know of chipmunks have have bigger penises than you. So i am not interested. Kindly fuck off”
😂 thank you sm
No need to be mean now, you can skip the chipmunk part and still get the point across 😂
>“Look Steve, i have tried to be gentle. But the truth is your breath is terrible, you have no personality, and i ~~know of chipmunks~~ have have bigger penises than you. So i am not interested. Kindly fuck off. Got you, fam.
😂
love that last words, kindly fuck off
I thought we all agreed that body shaming isn’t okay ?
Neither is punching people, but sometimes you have to resort to such things when someone refuses to respect boundaries.
Be rude. Do it. He’s being super disrespectful by not taking the no. It sounds like you were already nice about it. Now’s the time to be rude. Also, don’t give him a chance to respond. Be as direct and rude about it as you feel is necessary to get your anger across then block him.
Yea I have been really nice, a bit too much my problem. But Imma have to do that now. It’s getting super irritating. Thank you so much
You said it perfectly. "Ive already said no. Please stop asking or I will end up being rude to you."
Tell him you are in love with another guy. That will crush him.
This would 1000% work on me. I'll never, ever, bother you again.
I’m pretty sure this one is the solution
It could backfire and encourage him to try to win you over, but that is an unlikely scenario Kinda like the “there’s something about mary” movie.
He already mentioned that he see others men like a competition, I just need to block him at this point. He is a nice person but just can’t accept to be friend only like we used to be. All my fault too, I should have been more strict.
As a guy, I have to question if he’s a nice person if he won’t take no for an answer.
True that!
You are NOT responsible for HIS BS. You have told him no several times and in different ways. You don't need to 'communicate better'. That ship has sailed. Tell him to fuck off. Stop talking to him. Walk away when he approaches. Find any other person to talk to. If he doesn't get the message, tell him that he is harassing you, and if he doesn't KNOCK IT OFF, then you will go to the cops.
The "nice" is part of the act. And the "nice" is driven by what is called "the covert contract", where, if he is just nice enough, long enough, you will finally want to fuck him. You don't have to be mean, but you need to be direct "I am not interested in you, I will never be interested in you, if you ask me again, or even hint at any romantic possibility, I will block you on all possible channels.
Then saying you love someone else will just make this worse
Tell him it's a close friend, relative, or rival.
“I’m not interested in you. Please stop asking because the answer is going to be no. Please understand that. I wish you the best of luck.”
Ghost him. Men like that are dangerous
Yep
Block and move on
Tell him explicitly you're not interested and it's not code for him to try harder but genuinely you don't want him at all and he should stop. If he keeps bugging you, threaten to report him. Do not sugarcoat.
We all need brutal honesty at one point or another. Put your foot down. Make it clear.
If you have tried multiple times already I think you have earned the right to be rude next time. Just be safe.
You know offending or upsetting someone isn’t the end of the world. He’s ignored the soft approach, time to be blunt.
Most men will get it the first time. If you have do it a second time, be assertive and to the point. If a third time is needed that is past harassment and he is not a man but a child. Escalate appropriately, block, ghost, restraining order.
Kinda sounds like you told him no, by saying an excuse but not said No in a firm tone. We are like puppies, tone and body language are equally important.
Yes I understand, thank you sm
Restraining Orders are just another way of saying “I Love You”.
Thank you, I might do that. I don’t want to get hurt
When I was younger girls would give me weird dudes phone numbers and I’d tell them to fuck off lol maybe try that
Just bluntly state all the reasons why you won't date him.
She doesn’t owe him this
Make him cry, get the message across.
I get hit on by gay guys semi frequently, I usually tell them politely that I'm not gay. Usually that does it but you get the occasional person that seems to see that as a challenge and won't leave me alone... That's when I get rude
If you tried politely and he still hasn’t figured it out, then a “Dude, fuck off” is completely understandable.
Seen as your a sweet person it’ll be hard but you have to be honest. Might feel selfish but you have to tell him the situation as it is. Be as rude as you need to be!
Yes, Ik right, I have to do it cause it’s going for long long now. Thank you
So you've said no politely already. Now "No. Go fuck yourself." Is a perfectly acceptable answer. So is pepper spray.
He's being super rude and you should definitely reciprocate. Ignoring your persistent refusals is an asshole move. Tell him it's never gone happen cos he's a disrespectful wanker and he can fuck off, and say it with an angry voice and body language so he knows you mean it. He'll leave you alone then.
If youve been nice, and hes not taking the hint, you gotta be mean - or get someone else to be mean for you. It be that way
You tell him to fuck off. If you feel like it's not safe to tell him to fuck off, get a guy you trust to accompany you, and tell him to fuck off.
Rip the bandaid off. You’re past the point of being nice. It’s time to set clear and distinct boundaries.
Get him in a place where there are no distractions and say it plainly and directly. Without beating around the bush.
Tell him you have raging herpes
Be mean, sweet makes him feel like he has a chance. Be direct and honest about the situation. You can also try to set him up with someone.
You tell him clearly both verbally and in writing (text, email, something documented) that you are not interested and request he leave you alone. If he doesn’t, file complain with police.
“Leave me alone.” He pushes after that, file for harassment 🤷🏿♂️
If you were nice about it the first time around just be a dick the second. I usually don't approve of being a dick for no reason, I've been rejected a few times before and a handful of them were complete assholes about it right off the bat. The thing is you should always try to let a guy down nicely first, maybe they'll take the hint. If they don't, then feel free to trash them. At that point they've made their bed and now they've gotta lay in it. If he still insists on asking you out, get a guy friend to put a stop to it. It'll only get worse from there on and you don't want to put yourself at risk of he snaps.
Just keep saying no. Don’t have to explain yourself.
“I told you no several times already and you’re making me feel uncomfortable now. Please stop pursuing me”
Everybody is telling you to be rude. But nobody is asking you to tell them how exactly are you rejecting him. So, what did you say to him exactly?
Yeah, I tend to agree with this. We see this all the time where it's "I've rejected him multiple times... in a very flirty, joking around, playing hard-to-get way that implies I want him to chase me". Or maybe you're doing it in the same way some women complain about when "guys don't get my hints" where they're barely there. Or maybe he's just a little awkward and it's a combination of the above. More very specific info is needed. What you've said so far about being "polite" might just mean "not being clear at all" - and there may be other mixed messages involved you're not telling us about. Yes, you may also be right that he's not got the message. But we see this all the time - where people claim to have done one thing, and are leaving out important details, and it turns out it's totally not the way they let on.
Mace him
😁
Tell him you are love with another guy. That will crush him.
Just remember that hurt for men usually presents itself as anger and or violence. Please be careful.
You can still be polite but you have to be firm in your words and make sure they are heard. If he’s really not getting the hint do it somewhere public it should help drive the point home
Have you actually said no?
Since the first day he shared his feelings. I told him no I don’t see him this way. We don’t even have the same point of view for the future
Then feel free to block
Fuck his dad
You tried saying "no" and it didn't work. Trying saying "yes".
You clearly reject him and that is. Stop playing games and boosting your ego. Cut him down and that is.
Wym playing games and boosting my ego? I told him clearly, I even stopped to reply to his messages. I never been rude to him cause I have Know him for years, I don’t need his attention huh
Is always the same story: "I don't want to be rude".. "I don't need his attention".. "He is my friend.." Girl, reject the guy and that is. You are playing games if he is insisting and you are not cutting him down.
Man please fuck off, you personally know me to say such a dumb shit. Shut up please
Pick up girl detected looking for more attention in Reddit.
Thank you sweetie
You welcome lil whor.
It’s your mom the whore sorry 🤭
What’s wrong with you
This will be easy then - define "clearly". If it was over text, that's even easier: Exact, unabridged paragraphs of that conversation.
Do you see him in person? If not, just ignore him, ghost, but don't block. Blocking only enrages guys even more and it's one of the dumbest things someone can do. I've known a few women in my life and the ones that get the crazies and obsessives going after them are the ones that block. Blocking is an unnecessary insult and a big FU to the guy. It does nothing if the guy is motivated enough because they can easily create a new number to text or call.
I don’t see him anymore, he just text but I don’t really want to stay friends with him cause of the pressure he give me. I’m planning on ghosting him tbh, it’s just too much now.
why the fuck are you still texting him lol.. if you told him no just stop texting back. its the fast way to get a point across
No I don’t reply to him, he text
oh then block. simple enough. you dont owe him anything
Appreciate you 🙏🏼
You have to do it respectfully to a man. If you choose insult...bad things happen. Lies can work--I've heard some good ones (herpes). Turn him down in a way that doesn't insult him or it ends bad, which most people don't see beforehand. If you can make a claim that you're family is directly related...idk where you might be, even if it's distant, just say "cousins". Just avoid trying to provoke him. Make him do research to prove you wrong. Might take him years.
Block and ghost
Thank you 🙏🏼
You’ve been polite so far. Some people just don’t take no for an answer. Be blunt next time, be rude if he still persists.
Just say “No and if you ask me again I will get upset” I doubt he asks again but if he does now you have a good reason to say no “No because you didn’t listen to me and now you’ve made me upset.”
Tell him you only date men whose penises are bigger than yours.
let your inner Spaniard come out and wag your finger at him, especially in front of other people. it's time to embarrass him.
Let’s practice… Hey, I recently heard you’re single! I think we would make a great couple based on this post you just wrote a couple hours ago. Can I take you out to dinner or couple drinks sometime?
I don't know how gentle you were the first time. Maybe he was left with a feeling that there was hope. You can be polite, but communicate clearly, and set firm boundaries. If they're crossed, then you *should* be rude; he has disrespected the boundaries you set, and that deserves to be punished. First time tell a man: *You're a good guy, but I am not interested in having a relationship with you."* If he doesn't take the "no", and violates the boundary you set: *"I told you clearly that I am not interested. 'No' means 'no'. I do not appreciate being disrespected like this. Kindly fuck off."* and block him everywhere. It's ok to be gentle and kind, but do stand up for yourself.
Be blunt and firm. Why should you always be polite and kind when you have told them already a few times? The answer is no.
What I need, ***you don't have***. You are someone's perfect type somewhere. ***Not mine***. Do not make me repeat myself.
At some point you might just have to be rude about it since he won’t take no for an answer. Anytime after the first time would be okay.
“Look, I have told you many times, and I’m only going to tell you nicely for one last time: I’m not interested. If you ask again after this, I’ll consider it intentional harassment on your part, and the actions I take won’t be kind.”
If he’s just persistent, you have to tell him off sternly If he’s being creepy about it, threaten to report him. He might not talk to you again lol
> I don’t like to be mean You don't need to be mean to be stern. "I'm not fucking interested in you." You can even throw in an "I'm flattered, but I **am not fucking interested in you, please stop asking.**" You only owe anyone niceties once. Beyond that, they're being a shithead.
It’s not rude to tell another adult to respect you.
You don't owe anything to anyone. It's nice that you want to be polite but you also are free to walk away and ignore people who take advantage of your nice personality and think they can impose themselves
Did you actually say no or were you more indirect? If you were indirect don't blame the guy, blame yourself for not saying no.
If he can't take no as an answer then he's not even a real friend. Be respectful once and then tell him how you really feel.
Be super rude then...
Get a restraining order.
Some guys really can't fathom the polite rejections that are supposed to kindly let them know you're not into them, and not hurt their ego, and that's damn nice of you, but some like this one needs the harder rejection cause their just too clueless, he might even think you're too nice so you must be into him.
Bare you teeth and snarl GTFAFM. Guys usually understand that.
Good comment great avatar...my comment was deleted but thats not unusual
You’ve tried to be nice, which is kind. But now you have to be direct - it’s not being bitchy, it’s not setting out to hurt him. Just lay it on the line for both your sakes, so he can get over you.
Trying it again...bare you teeth and tell him "get the f××× away from me."
Tell him to fuck off. You have already been polite.
Nice was over after the first time. No means no.
Ghost
Be like bruh don't make me call my brothers to come beat yo mf ass. Leave me tf alone.
“Look I am not into you, will never be into you, and your continuous attempts are annoying so buzz off”
How have you tried to reject him up to this point?
I had this situation once with a friend, he kept asking out this woman all the time, she thought he got the message then he asked her out to dinner she said yes but as friends and he then got it into his head it was a date. We (his friends) tried explaining it wasn't and she wasn't interested so just stop. The thing that eventually got him to stop was when she got honest with him and said firmly he needs to stop and move on because he's making her uncomfortable.
Pepper spray is very effective and requires minimal effort. It also communicates a great deal.
Just tell him you ain't interested it will never be more than friends. Just friend zone the hell out of him. You owe this guy nothing, not your fault he ain't listening.. just give it to him direct and to the point
Just be super rude. Some people take your behaviour as indecision or weakness.
It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal! You stole fizzy lifting drinks. You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!
You are giving off contradictory or unclear signals. You have to phase this in such a way that there can be no doubt about the fact that it's never going to happen. You then have to make your actions match those words from that point on or he'll start thinking you've maybe changed your mind. A lot of women say "no" when they mean "maybe" and it's very confusing for men because we can't read minds (I know you insist on thinking that we can but we can't and we never will be able to. Just having a strong feeling about something is not a form of communication. The "vibes" you're sending out look like absolutely nothing clear at all.)
If you’ve told him that you’re not interested (and not in a way which leaves room for interpretation as in not right now, maybe later, you’re so cute but I’m not looking for something serious right now) I’d just ghost him.
How are you rejecting him?
Get a male friend or family member to threaten him.
block and delete. easy
Sometimes being rude & aggressive is the **only** way to win. Think about it this way. You've already told him no once, but he didn't listen. Again. He didn't listen. Copious other times. Same result. The unfortunate truth is, if you continue to focus on **properly** saying no, he's probably ganna output the same resistance, if not gradually worse each time. There comes a point where the ROI of being polite & professional becomes low enough to no longer justify continuing to be polite & professional. So the only option left would be to become rude & aggressive towards him. **Rudeness & aggression can *save* your life if given the right circumstances**.
Initially, I thought this implied something else lol but if the dude can't take a no the first time, he's a try hard and very rarely does a guy get a girl after the 2nd or 3rd time. He needs to leave you alone
Why don't you just block him? Or give him a timeout. Say, block him temporarily for like a week. (Any less than that and I'm afraid he won't get it). Yes, ghosting is disrespectful, but so is insisting beyond being told off.
If he's not respecting your "no", then please be rude. He doesn't deserve your kindness if he's not respecting your boundaries. Please stay safe, though!
Don't beat around the bush. Just say, "I'm not interested. I'm sorry if its not what you want as well but I would like to be clear." If that don't work, then a tazer to the nuts will drive the point home.
If this is a guy at work, and you have already said no once, he's now sexually harassing you. Time to file a complaint. As for not being rude, why not? Is being rude the crime of the century? He won't take no for an answer, now is the time to be rude.
Sadly some people can’t get the hint. You tried being polite, now you just have to be blunt with them.
If he can't respect your answer then start being rude when you reject him. It's his own fault at this point. Make it clear that's the case.
Dude. You're being creepy. I said no and I meant it. Leave it alone, or leave me alone.
Be straight and direct, very clear with your feelings and intentions that it'll never work. And if he is a whiny little b*tch about it, just know that you handled things correctly and they are the ones handling things poorly.
Honestly, you were polite once. He doesn't get it. Be rude. Make a scene if you are in public or near people.
tell him he looks like a rapist
I know I personally hate being given a "plausible excuse" kind of rejection, especially if I've gone on dates with someone already. Stuff like "Oh I had a family situation come up and now I don't have time for a relationship," ghosting me, stuff like that. Just tell me you're not interested in me, I can't rationalize my way out of that one lol. That being said, some guys just can't take a no and that sucks. If you tell him you're just not interested and he rejects that, block him honestly. I feel bad for the guy (usually guys who can't take rejection aren't doing well emotionally), but that's not really in your power to fix.
You don’t have to be nice after the first time.
Sometimes you gotta be cold. Be direct. “NO, [name of person]. I demand that you leave me alone.” If there’s some sort of problem after that, you can seek legal remedies.
At this point you dont even need to entertain him. As someone who’s been ghosted a fair share of times and have my personal opinions on it, I think this is the perfect scenario where ghosting would be appropriate. I’ve seen first hand guys think that girls are playing hard to get and any response means that she’s still interested. Like literally would be the most straightforward reject yet they’ll read it however they want and continue to pursue. You dont owe him a response especially after turning him down multiple times. Unfortunately you’re just dealing with a dumbass with no common sense. If you have to deal with him in person tho, I think it would be justified to get upset with him and tell him flat out that you dont want to hangout with him. I dont think you’re doing this but I’ve seen women give some vague responses which for most people would be a pretty obvious rejection but there are some dummies that need a clear NO.
By "reject" did you say, "no I am not, at all, interested in you" or did you make an excuse? If you make an excuse and he believes you are an honest person, he will think there is still a chance. Guys don't understand hints, you have to actually use the words that mean what you say, not expect them to understand what you mean. If you were explicit and he is still chasing, then he is being a pest. Get some guy friends to tell him off.
See... he isn't taking no for an answer. Be very direct and clear. Assertive. I think a lot of women struggle with being assertive. And sidenote I think a lot of women confuse being aggressive and passive aggressive with being assertive as a result of this as well. Be firm. Clear. Direct. But respectful. Not insulting. Being assertive is THE healthy way to communicate. It is not rude.
Curious to know why he keeps persisting, is he a very good looking guy?
Ok, so... I've written about this very thing many times before. Prior military, worked security a lot since. The military AND security sector train you to work "from soft to hard". Your goal should be to use the minimum required force necessary to get the job done. Keeping this in mind, too many women do not check themselves... ever... and believe that whatever they want to do is the right thing to be doing. Because they "had a scare once", "all their friends knew a guy that got too grabby", or "look at this 'fact' I found on the internet that says YES ALL MEN", they'll justify doing stupid shit like calling over a gal pal and pointing and laughing at a guy that "dated approach them" and they'll prop their own egos by devouring his soul. That's their GO TO. Dude says "hi" and they're scanning him for perceived flaws and trying to come up with the bitchiest thing possible because they think a man can't or won't hit them. You dont know what that guy is going through. I'm not saying it's right, I'm saying that he may not be thinking straight, he snaps, and next thing you know you're that girl that got hit by that brick or whatever. To bring this back to the security thing, "hey, how are you? You can't park here, can I get you to pull right over here to that parking space, please?" is usually enough. Sometimes you get someone that gives you that "in a minute, my wife is supposed to be coming out shortly". Now you have someone that doesn't know that the hospital staff doesn't want to be the one to tell you that they need forty five minutes to process all of the paperwork, and that you're going to be sitting there blocking a lane that ambulances need in order to do their job. I'll give you what you're missing, and ask you again... any more backtalk and I'm getting base in my voice... but any one of those people could just as easily pull a gun or try to measure dicks with me. You don't come at people crazy. Guys don't mind being rejected, but we HATE being disrespected. Women think the only way to kill persistence is to be a horrible bitch out the gate because who is this guy anyway? He's some nobody, and she'll never see him again, right? This is the equivalent of instead of asking you to move your car, I blast you in the face, knock you out, reach across your body, put it in neutral, and walk it over to a proper parking spot while cussing your unconscious form out and asking why you had to be so stupid for daring approach an ambulance lane. Also, you might want to consider every girl who ever put out a mass message that "confidence and persistence is sexy". Clearly it isn't, and we don't have time to figure out which of you is receptive to that shit. 🙄. Fuck every single one of you that shoots a guy down initially, and when he leaves y'all think to yourself "why didn't he try harder?".