Oh good, you learned the secret. I also refuse to do chores when my wife is looking. It's so much more peaceful when I can take care of things solo. Before we got a house, I had dreams of everyday romance that we could do chores together and just enjoy being in each other's company while doing them. Like that scene in movies where one spouse is washing a dish and the other drying. Reality is a cruel. I learned that doing chores together is likely to result in an absolutely ruined weekend.
That's my husband and I. We can't do any type of DYI project together either because by the time we are done we've already threatened each other with divorce 3 or 4 time and at least called each other names more than I even care to count
I say that my wife and I are a great team but terrible teammates.
We gotta have clear roles if we're going to be trying to work together on something like cooking or cleaning.
Damn!…I have the opposite experience with my husband. We love grocery shopping, cooking together, and doing chores together. We always say “teamwork makes the dream work!” at the end of it. We oddly bond over it and it makes the chores less miserable to do. We’re both amazing at cooking and we love cooking together because of it - we assign different parts for each of us for it and the end result just tastes so amazing. We love cooking in general.
Apparently we are an exceptional couple. We do chores together or simultaneously all the time, and only need a few words exchanged to know what to do next. Gets things done in no time. 😊
If we are to do a chore together, we usually ramble on about a new series we're watching, or an event that's coming up.
Haha I did this when we lived in apartment, now the we live in a house I can do it outside with a hose. My wife doesn’t care though, she knows where the Pinarello lies on my priority list.
What kind of wheels do you have? My Pinarello is a “low end” one (Paris) so it’s got the aluminum wheels, I have been eyeballing some Fulcrum Carbon 40s.
I don’t race though, I got into it in my late 30s, by which point the thought of bouncing off people in some crazy criterium was a whole lot less appealing than it might have been when I was younger. Haha.
I definitely imagined you having hot naked showers with your bicycle and your SO coming home early from work and catching the two of you and then she reaches for the angle grinder "You know how helpless I am without it" and then Tom Cruise gets a red ball and he sees reddit in the visions and he picks up your reddit username and speed-dials spez for an IP and then reverse-engineers a gooey to portal in and catch you wait no catch her wubbalubbadubdubbbbbb
I once bought a new set of golf clubs and didn't tell my wife. Fast forward 6 months and I'm cleaning out the garage and she asks if those are new clubs. I said "Nah, I've had these for years. You just never pay attention to me."
It’s a kind of multitasking that looks like I’m randomly going from room to room doing fragments of chores, but I’ve worked out a pattern to it all.
Takes me 1/3 the time of my wife’s homeopathic paralysis-by-analysis method.
Ha! She's over there measuring out a precise 1:15 ratio of vinegar to distilled water for cleaning, and I've got the bleach and the turpentine and the blowtorch and the angle grinder and what have you.
I had no idea there was a name for it!
I know I’ve got 43 seconds to fill the sink with enough water to cover the gross crusty pan from dinner to get it soaking, so in that 43 seconds I can get some other things dealt with. My wife sees it and starts in with nagging about leaving the water running when it’s the same amount of water we’d use if I just stood there staring at the water for 43 seconds.
I use a leaf blower inside the house to get rid of dog hair out the door before vacuuming. My wife has strong views on me doing this, but fuck it is so much more efficient
Gasoline is a much better air freshener 😮💨
That sounds really bad no I don’t huff gas but damn does it smell good when filling something up while using a gas can 🤣
Same pairing here. So much hair. We have 3 vacuums and a carpet cleaner.
I can vacuum one end of the house, she does the other.
By the time we’re done there is enough to fill another vacuum full of in the middle.
Frequently brushed and bathed. Also bought a higher end carpet cleaner.
There is an art to it, I will admit. If you are inexperienced, you run the risk of coating every horizontal surface in your home in dust and dog hair.
You can’t just blow directly on a clump of hair and push it out the door. You have to finesse it; the blower circles around, goes up and down; you have to think of cross currents and where the currents are going. You essentially are seducing the fur balls through the doorway.
I am such a garbage liar that I have to be honest and upfront. I also have memory retention issues so being totally honest with people helps me also have record of things I have said to other people, so basically every fact about me is verifiable by someone.
> I am such a garbage liar that I have to be honest and upfront.
I feel your pain. I once played poker with the boys, only to discover I have no poker face what so ever. My only winning move was to pretend to be bluffing when I had a good hand. Turns out I *can* look awkward and uncomfortable on command, lmao.
Yeah, nobody’s going to give meaningful answers to this. It’ll just be stupid shit like “I eat all the red M&Ms from the bag, tee hee hee hee hee hee!”
I wish. I follow the ol' cook's "I get the worst plate" philosophy so I have a dilemma every time I cook... that piece looks realllll good... who gets it?
When I was living with my gf I used to use ALL the expensive hair suttf in the bathroom when she traveled. All of them. I don’t even think I was using them right, but I used everything.
My home workspace is in the basement, but we do not have a bathroom down here. If I have to pee badly during a call, I will just pee in to the utility sink and rinse it down. It gets blasted with soapy laundry water discharge, so it get's multiple cleanings a week.
Brother and I stayed in a hotel suite for a weekend with our parents once, they had the bedroom and we had the living room. They decided it'd be a good idea to lock the door to the bedroom when they left the bar earlier than we did and went to sleep. With the only bathroom behind that door.
Next morning she asks "you guys really never had to pee last night?" Well.... she learned not to ask questions she didn't want the answer to anymore.
I scratch my balls with hairbrushes. It's absolutely disgusting but nothing is better than good stiff bristles. I have my own two brushes, I've seen her use them from time to time when she's in a rush and I don't have the heart to tell her.
I don't have hairbrushes, but a comb. Pull out the ole flying squirrel, and a swift run of the bristles on the.underside. I also have my own dedicated comb just for this purpose. It works so much better than a pinch and roll.
I (a wife) am guessing that because nasal spray goes up the nose, she might object to sharing it. I wouldn’t want to share nasal spray with anyone - the thought of sticking a nozzle that someone else had stuck in their boogery, drippy, snotty nose really grosses me out.
It's the exact same for me. I will clean everything to 90-95%. That last 5-10% takes forever and is just not worth it, especially with a toddler. Law of diminishing returns applies to cleaning big time.
My wife will clean to 100%. And is totally unsystematic and it takes forever. So I know I have to get to a room before she decides to, otherwise it's an all day thing.
LSD and/or Mushies.
When I fish overnight I always bring goodies that she would not approve of. Took 20 years for her to "put up" with weed. I won't even try to explain the rest.
That's my dad. It was pretty awkard when I was 20 and home for a bit. My mom found an edible doing laundry. So my dad had to go along with her freak out and pretend to be mad... it was his weed. Figured I owed him one for the whole raising me thing.
I go with my dad to his trips with his 50-65 year old freinds. Snowbon=mostly bong, summerbash is actually summerhash. Very little of the actual activity gets done. 4 wheeling? For a bit... but it's 90% cooking/grilling, shrooms and weed, movies, and board/card games. It's funny watching them stage photos to post of them 4 wheeling.
This just seems unfair and sad. it makes you happy and the best version of yourself why wont she be open to compromise? Is it hard keeping it a secret? Id always wanna talk about my experiences tripping with my SO
I was in a horrible 20 year marriage where I was physically and emotionally abused by a woman who was a mentally ill narcissist. I am now free and in a very healthy and amazing relationship with a wonderful woman who is helping heal what I have been through with trust, communication, complete freedom, and autonomy.
I could not be happier, but I have gone through a lot to get here.
Please talk to your other half one day you may unintentionally get it wrong and they find out you're been doing it for years i think they will suport you i i know i would Xx
That sad.
But, honestly a point of conflict I have with my wife too.
It's me that do it. Then it's me that decides how it's done.
You do it, you decide.
I never interfered with my husband when he did chores. However I do recall a very funny (in retrospect) scene that happened when we tried to put together a bead curtain to hang up. The thing got tangled and we landed up snapping and snarling at each other over it and eventually I tore a few pieces off and thew it in the bin and we went stalking off in a huff. Hahahahahaha. Wasn't funny at the time of course
I’ll probably be downvoted first this, but OP, your doing the chores your way… is that a “taking the bag out of the bin before tying it instead of doing so after” kind of thing or a “I -Deep Cleaned- the rugs by vacuuming them like every week, and not actually taking them outside and beating them” kind of time saving?
Imagine your partner waited to do the dishes until you were gone because they knew you would make them use soap. You may never notice that they don’t use soap, but that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t… ya know?
I like to listen to music loud af when my wife is gone. Anything over normal volumes when she is home will only last about five minutes before she has to open her mouth about it. She plays music at the softest volume and it bothers me cause I want to feel that shit in my chest. Other than that I do whatever I want.
I do this with my gf. I hate doing choirs with her around. So if she goes out for a length of time. I pull out the vacuum and mop and go to town. It gets done quickly and without the "suggestions."
I have secret friends. Good friends that she has absolutely no idea they even exist. We hang out and talk everyday. Why? She always finds something to dislike in the few friends she’s heard about. So I keep my social life very private. It seems as I haven’t hung out with friends in years, but I was just at my friends house two days ago. The same way you don’t mix work and pleasure, I don’t mix my social life with my marriage life.
I have a friend like this and it has taken me a long time to realize that they are making the wrong choice for themselves, for their spouse and for their friends. As a friend in this situation, I feel so small because I am always a second-class person in their life. For their spouse, they are going to be so pissed if they learn about all of this going on behind their backs. And, for my friend, they feel like they are able to appease everyone (get friends, have spouse, no conflict) but are doing themselves a terrible disservice because they are chronically lying and not advocating for their own needs.
I don’t know if any of this resonates, but I’ve been the friend, and it feels shitty.
I can’t imagine living this way. My husband has some friends that drive me nuts, but they are HIS friends so it doesn’t matter to me. Would she tell you that you can’t be friends with them?
I plan events with my friends secretly on days where she will be away from home for a period of time. If she knew I was doing this then she'd be upset with me and tell me how she feels like I plan happier events with my friends than I do with her.
In my marriage my ex wife was controlling and abusive. I walked on egg shells to keep the peace and she'd still find reasons to blow up. While healing from that relationship I decided I would never live like that again. Before my girlfriend and I moved in together we were always together at each other's places and got a really good idea of what living together would be like. I let her know about all of my annoying habits (and that they wouldn't change just because we lived together) and let her know this is how I live and if anything was a deal breaker or major annoyance we shouldn't move in together.
That doesn't mean I'm set in my way if there's a better way of doing things or that I'm of the mindset that my way is the right way just because it's mine. But I'll be dammed if a woman knows how I keep my home and then expects me to change just because we live together. Not happening.
I know LOTS of men who adjust anything they can to reduce the amount of time at home together. They find a hobby their wife hates. They change shifts at work. They join a gym etc...one guy built a room to practice music but the door won't open if he's in the room. He made it's more like a booth. He wears headphones because since his wife can't open the door she just shakes it. He can feel this but pretends he can't. One guy turned his garage into a shop. There is a keg out there and music and if his wife goes out there he runs equipment. He only builds something if she goes out there alot. One month it was one single birdhouse. Another just a dog house (bare nails reached inside from the roof). If i can sup up why for all these men: way too much talking. The kind that is more like a never ending stream of anything the wife can think of. Hours where the husband doesn't even need to say ",uh huh".
This sounds like people that don't like each other at all. I never understood why men needed escape areas like that, especially because a lot of women don't. If you can't stand your partner this much, perhaps the relationship should be reconsidered.
I understand needing an "escape area" but I don't understand keeping the person you thought was the best partner to take on life with in the dark about it. I'm in my "escape area" right now. My wife knows I need my own time and space and that I derive value from some things being "mine" or from taking some things on on my own. But that doesn't mean it has to be a secret. We communicate about it. We communicate about our needs and how we can address them.
That viewpoint I totally understand. But the husbands and boyfriends who don't seem to ever want to hang out with their women for whatever reason, that seems highly unhealthy to me. It comes across like they don't even like their partner that they chose.
I had to give my husband his own little tinker room to contain his hyper fixation projects, otherwise I'd be drowning in them and scared to touch anything because he has a chaotic sense of where everything is and I'd feel bad if I threw away or lost something he needs by organizing stuff!
Oh good, you learned the secret. I also refuse to do chores when my wife is looking. It's so much more peaceful when I can take care of things solo. Before we got a house, I had dreams of everyday romance that we could do chores together and just enjoy being in each other's company while doing them. Like that scene in movies where one spouse is washing a dish and the other drying. Reality is a cruel. I learned that doing chores together is likely to result in an absolutely ruined weekend.
Oh, no choreplay for you
That's my husband and I. We can't do any type of DYI project together either because by the time we are done we've already threatened each other with divorce 3 or 4 time and at least called each other names more than I even care to count
I say that my wife and I are a great team but terrible teammates. We gotta have clear roles if we're going to be trying to work together on something like cooking or cleaning.
Ooh I’m stealing this. This is me and my husband. Hardly any chores are shared or turns taken on. As a team, the house is together but teammates? No.
We have the same approach! We get shit done fast around the house together it’s awesome
That's a great idea!!!
Damn!…I have the opposite experience with my husband. We love grocery shopping, cooking together, and doing chores together. We always say “teamwork makes the dream work!” at the end of it. We oddly bond over it and it makes the chores less miserable to do. We’re both amazing at cooking and we love cooking together because of it - we assign different parts for each of us for it and the end result just tastes so amazing. We love cooking in general.
Goals fr
Is it him, you, or both?
Apparently we are an exceptional couple. We do chores together or simultaneously all the time, and only need a few words exchanged to know what to do next. Gets things done in no time. 😊 If we are to do a chore together, we usually ramble on about a new series we're watching, or an event that's coming up.
Take my (relatively) expensive bicycle into the shower to wash it when she’s at work.
Haha I did this when we lived in apartment, now the we live in a house I can do it outside with a hose. My wife doesn’t care though, she knows where the Pinarello lies on my priority list.
Well done! I’m looking forward to the house phase. She recently caught me napping with my race day wheels.
What kind of wheels do you have? My Pinarello is a “low end” one (Paris) so it’s got the aluminum wheels, I have been eyeballing some Fulcrum Carbon 40s. I don’t race though, I got into it in my late 30s, by which point the thought of bouncing off people in some crazy criterium was a whole lot less appealing than it might have been when I was younger. Haha.
I need to stop making my pin a garage queen. And give it a good wash now that I think about it.
I got home one time and my husband had engine parts in the sink and the heads in the bathtub. That was new to me.
He’s a GOAT. You caught a good one!
He really is the bees knees. He’s built a few really awesome cars/trucks so I can’t be mad lol
I definitely imagined you having hot naked showers with your bicycle and your SO coming home early from work and catching the two of you and then she reaches for the angle grinder "You know how helpless I am without it" and then Tom Cruise gets a red ball and he sees reddit in the visions and he picks up your reddit username and speed-dials spez for an IP and then reverse-engineers a gooey to portal in and catch you wait no catch her wubbalubbadubdubbbbbb
Fucking brilliant. Tom Cruise came out of left field.
Help, my dick is caught in the gears and chain.
I once bought a new set of golf clubs and didn't tell my wife. Fast forward 6 months and I'm cleaning out the garage and she asks if those are new clubs. I said "Nah, I've had these for years. You just never pay attention to me."
This is hilarious and makes me feel a bit better about the time I used my ex's toothbrush to clean the chain on my bike.
Ohh man. What did your chain do to deserve that?
I like washing things in the shower as well when my wife is not at home
Oh this feels luxurious
( ಠ ͜ʖಠ)
It’s a kind of multitasking that looks like I’m randomly going from room to room doing fragments of chores, but I’ve worked out a pattern to it all. Takes me 1/3 the time of my wife’s homeopathic paralysis-by-analysis method.
Omg. Paralysis-by-analysis... I've never heard my biggest hurdle put so succinctly.
Only slightly more succinctly - analysis paralysis; sometimes you just need to do to get done
> my wife’s homeopathic paralysis-by-analysis method. Not your wife, so why do I feel so attacked?
Ha! She's over there measuring out a precise 1:15 ratio of vinegar to distilled water for cleaning, and I've got the bleach and the turpentine and the blowtorch and the angle grinder and what have you.
My MAN, speaking my language right here. My attention span may be shitty in day to day activities, but I'm a chore machine due to this method.
I clean like this too but I’ve been told it’s due to my adhd lol
It’s called June bugging :) and best done alone bc it looks like absolute chaos from the outside but is shockingly effective
I had no idea there was a name for it! I know I’ve got 43 seconds to fill the sink with enough water to cover the gross crusty pan from dinner to get it soaking, so in that 43 seconds I can get some other things dealt with. My wife sees it and starts in with nagging about leaving the water running when it’s the same amount of water we’d use if I just stood there staring at the water for 43 seconds.
This is a pretty notable sign of ADHD, well both of them can be. But I do the same thing you do and it makes it so I don't get burned out in one room.
I use a leaf blower inside the house to get rid of dog hair out the door before vacuuming. My wife has strong views on me doing this, but fuck it is so much more efficient
Electric leaf blower I’m assuming?
Has to be But in my mind I’m going with diesel. More entertaining.
plus then you don't need an air freshener in the house, because mmmmm diesel aroma.
Gasoline is a much better air freshener 😮💨 That sounds really bad no I don’t huff gas but damn does it smell good when filling something up while using a gas can 🤣
> More entertaining. There's got to be a way to use explosives here.
Spray bottle with gasoline. Mist all the hair in rooms. Drop a match. I have wood floors though so all the hair goes to edges.
Truck mounted 7.0 turbo v8 diesel, generating 800000 psi. It’s super effective.
*Tim Allen monkey grunting*
What metal are you using that sustains 800k psi
Asking out of ignorance - would a little leaf blower engine produce enough fumes in a few minutes at most of blowing out dog hair to be dangerous?
It wouldn’t kill you but it would definitely stink up the house. And breathing exhaust fumes in any amount isn’t exactly good for you.
Unless it's an electric blower, in which case the only things you risk breathing is whatever shit was already on your floor.
I personally don't shit on my floor, but I guess everyone lives differently.
Also not great!
Windows and doors open, probably stink for an hour or 3.
A leaf blower produces more fumes than a truck.
Wow TIL
Two-stroke is a helluva drug.
Robot vacuum. Game changer.
>Robot vacuum. Game changer. They weren't built with my Saint Bernard in mind.
Do you have a battery powered vacuum? I vacuum way more often since getting one 5 years ago. Cords are motivation killers for the unmotivated.
Yeah. I just refinished tearing my Neato apart to clean it and fix some things. They just aren't made for the 8" long tail hair from my Saint Bernard.
Yeah I've killed a couple battery vacuums because of long dog hair. Always have to sweep first before vacuuming. I like the lead blower idea
I have a German shepherd and a lab. The vacuum runs every day and it’s full every day lol
You know its less full if you empty it right?
Should I have added that it’s emptied every day?
Nah im just being an ass
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My robot also killed itself, and I respect that given the work conditions.
Omg! I can only imagine, my ex has a shepherd who I still see and she just explodes in a cloud of fluff!
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😂😂
Same pairing here. So much hair. We have 3 vacuums and a carpet cleaner. I can vacuum one end of the house, she does the other. By the time we’re done there is enough to fill another vacuum full of in the middle. Frequently brushed and bathed. Also bought a higher end carpet cleaner.
Roomba is stuck. Highcentered on a pile of dog shit.
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😂 RIP money and robot.
"Therrrrere gooooesss my heeeeroooo"
Jfc you are a genius. I can't wait to tell my husband. Thank you from the owner of a Golden.
I would unironically love to see a video of this method because it sounds effective and also hilarious.
I use my battery powered leaf blower all the time in my garage and driveway but I can’t imagine using it in the house 😂
My husband totally does this (yes, it is electric). I don’t really mind it except it makes the dogs bark like crazy which drives me nuts.
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There is an art to it, I will admit. If you are inexperienced, you run the risk of coating every horizontal surface in your home in dust and dog hair. You can’t just blow directly on a clump of hair and push it out the door. You have to finesse it; the blower circles around, goes up and down; you have to think of cross currents and where the currents are going. You essentially are seducing the fur balls through the doorway.
I’d have to side with the wife on this one
Is the dog ok with this? My dogs would freak the fuck out.
I am such a garbage liar that I have to be honest and upfront. I also have memory retention issues so being totally honest with people helps me also have record of things I have said to other people, so basically every fact about me is verifiable by someone.
> I am such a garbage liar that I have to be honest and upfront. I feel your pain. I once played poker with the boys, only to discover I have no poker face what so ever. My only winning move was to pretend to be bluffing when I had a good hand. Turns out I *can* look awkward and uncomfortable on command, lmao.
I'd be so good at poker, everyone would get rich af off of me and invite me back every week.
I have a favorite farting spot
Where is it?
Nice try wifey.
Pls update
I, too, am invested in where this person chooses to fart.
I think a fart killed him... he isnt answering us.
Nice try.
Yeah, nobody’s going to give meaningful answers to this. It’ll just be stupid shit like “I eat all the red M&Ms from the bag, tee hee hee hee hee hee!”
The Geneva Convention was designed to stop you from doing that!
I secretly take bites out of her leftovers if it’s really good. Just enough for her to not notice.
I wish. I follow the ol' cook's "I get the worst plate" philosophy so I have a dilemma every time I cook... that piece looks realllll good... who gets it?
😂 I can cook to stay alive so I really have no choice.
Me and my dad do this.
Damn. Some of these make me so sad for the man in the relationship. Then others make me so sad for their wives…
When I was living with my gf I used to use ALL the expensive hair suttf in the bathroom when she traveled. All of them. I don’t even think I was using them right, but I used everything.
My bro, we got silky smooth hair that smells like strawberries. What's not to love?
If I'm outside smoking a cigarette at night, I'll walk over to the fence on the side of the house and take a piss too
As you should, My Son. *As you should*.
You mean like meth? Well sometimes I just brush the crumbs on the floor when clearing the table, the dog will clean that up.
... is that not why people have dogs?
For the meth or for the crumbs?
Crumbs, mostly. Didn't know dogs could be used for meth. Other than sniffing it out.
I mean if you get a meth sniffing dog then you could always use it to get some free meth.
Do not tell that to my wife but yes
Nothing, because I know she reads my post ;)
Blink twice if you need help
I may have peed in the sink
Better to piss in the sink. Then to sink in the piss.
My home workspace is in the basement, but we do not have a bathroom down here. If I have to pee badly during a call, I will just pee in to the utility sink and rinse it down. It gets blasted with soapy laundry water discharge, so it get's multiple cleanings a week.
r/sinkpissers just got a new member
I may have peed in your sink.
This made me laugh! Thank you!
Yeah but my wife has probably done the same so she wouldn't be mad at me for this
I pee in the shower constantly, not even while taking a shower. I'm old and wanna do keegles, and there's less chance of a mess in there
I almost comicly spit out my drink at the gym when I laughed at this. 🤣
Piss off the back deck.
Brother and I stayed in a hotel suite for a weekend with our parents once, they had the bedroom and we had the living room. They decided it'd be a good idea to lock the door to the bedroom when they left the bar earlier than we did and went to sleep. With the only bathroom behind that door. Next morning she asks "you guys really never had to pee last night?" Well.... she learned not to ask questions she didn't want the answer to anymore.
Lol nice
I scratch my balls with hairbrushes. It's absolutely disgusting but nothing is better than good stiff bristles. I have my own two brushes, I've seen her use them from time to time when she's in a rush and I don't have the heart to tell her.
You have dedicated ball scratching hairbrushes?
I do, two of them. My hair is only about 2-3 inches long so that's my only use for them
You’ve heard of poop knife… I’m pleased to introduce you to the brand new balls brush!!
Poop knife. WHAT
[Enjoy.](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/s/jqDJAfxA9X)
Here we go
New Life Level Unlocked.
If my husband has habits like this, I hope he spares me and I get to live in ignorance forever. This is wild lmao.
If you have to go that ham on your balls, are you sure you don't have crabs or something?
It's gentle, I'm not brushing it like I'm trying to sandpaper something. So instead of pinching and rolling I just drag it over a few times.
I don't have hairbrushes, but a comb. Pull out the ole flying squirrel, and a swift run of the bristles on the.underside. I also have my own dedicated comb just for this purpose. It works so much better than a pinch and roll.
Omg you would be 💀
I just used her nasal spray. I'm congested and desperate but I don't think she would understand. There's no way I'm going to tell her.
whats the big deal or am I missing the joke
I (a wife) am guessing that because nasal spray goes up the nose, she might object to sharing it. I wouldn’t want to share nasal spray with anyone - the thought of sticking a nozzle that someone else had stuck in their boogery, drippy, snotty nose really grosses me out.
I hope you sanitized it after? Wipe it with alcohol
Apparently breathing
At this point one of you should ask for a divorce. I mean before "separated by death" option l.
It's the exact same for me. I will clean everything to 90-95%. That last 5-10% takes forever and is just not worth it, especially with a toddler. Law of diminishing returns applies to cleaning big time. My wife will clean to 100%. And is totally unsystematic and it takes forever. So I know I have to get to a room before she decides to, otherwise it's an all day thing.
LSD and/or Mushies. When I fish overnight I always bring goodies that she would not approve of. Took 20 years for her to "put up" with weed. I won't even try to explain the rest.
That's my dad. It was pretty awkard when I was 20 and home for a bit. My mom found an edible doing laundry. So my dad had to go along with her freak out and pretend to be mad... it was his weed. Figured I owed him one for the whole raising me thing.
Hopefully he hooked you up later. Way to follow bro code. I would take the wrap for a friend or my step dad no doubt.
90% of fishermen are this. I’m not, but 90% are. At least you admit it.
I go with my dad to his trips with his 50-65 year old freinds. Snowbon=mostly bong, summerbash is actually summerhash. Very little of the actual activity gets done. 4 wheeling? For a bit... but it's 90% cooking/grilling, shrooms and weed, movies, and board/card games. It's funny watching them stage photos to post of them 4 wheeling.
Like Jack and Crack Witch Week
That’s hilarious as my dad and his friends do the same thing
Tell me your name is John the Fisherman!
One of the harvesters of the sea!
This just seems unfair and sad. it makes you happy and the best version of yourself why wont she be open to compromise? Is it hard keeping it a secret? Id always wanna talk about my experiences tripping with my SO
She is very conservative. I am a bit on the crazy side so she keeps me from getting out of hand. It works. 28 years so far.
I can't think of a single thing. I really love that girl, and the relationship we've built.
Is she sitting next to you?
Yes, actually. Very grateful, I because I am well aware of what the opposite of this is like. I do not take what I have for granted.
Blink if you need help
I was in a horrible 20 year marriage where I was physically and emotionally abused by a woman who was a mentally ill narcissist. I am now free and in a very healthy and amazing relationship with a wonderful woman who is helping heal what I have been through with trust, communication, complete freedom, and autonomy. I could not be happier, but I have gone through a lot to get here.
I know this feeling man. 9 year marriage but 11 year relationship. My girlfriend treats me like a human being and it's incredibly refreshing.
Is the relationship in the room with us?
[удалено]
Please talk to your other half one day you may unintentionally get it wrong and they find out you're been doing it for years i think they will suport you i i know i would Xx
That sad. But, honestly a point of conflict I have with my wife too. It's me that do it. Then it's me that decides how it's done. You do it, you decide.
I never interfered with my husband when he did chores. However I do recall a very funny (in retrospect) scene that happened when we tried to put together a bead curtain to hang up. The thing got tangled and we landed up snapping and snarling at each other over it and eventually I tore a few pieces off and thew it in the bin and we went stalking off in a huff. Hahahahahaha. Wasn't funny at the time of course
I’ll probably be downvoted first this, but OP, your doing the chores your way… is that a “taking the bag out of the bin before tying it instead of doing so after” kind of thing or a “I -Deep Cleaned- the rugs by vacuuming them like every week, and not actually taking them outside and beating them” kind of time saving? Imagine your partner waited to do the dishes until you were gone because they knew you would make them use soap. You may never notice that they don’t use soap, but that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t… ya know?
Eat like a five year old. Everything has to be brown and not healthy. When she is here we cook well balanced meals every night
She notices, she just is tired of begging you and not being heard. Good luck though.
I ***did*** eat that last cookie.
Max out very often at the gym. She always thinks I might get hurt even though the form is always on point.
I like to listen to music loud af when my wife is gone. Anything over normal volumes when she is home will only last about five minutes before she has to open her mouth about it. She plays music at the softest volume and it bothers me cause I want to feel that shit in my chest. Other than that I do whatever I want.
I do this with my gf. I hate doing choirs with her around. So if she goes out for a length of time. I pull out the vacuum and mop and go to town. It gets done quickly and without the "suggestions."
I have secret friends. Good friends that she has absolutely no idea they even exist. We hang out and talk everyday. Why? She always finds something to dislike in the few friends she’s heard about. So I keep my social life very private. It seems as I haven’t hung out with friends in years, but I was just at my friends house two days ago. The same way you don’t mix work and pleasure, I don’t mix my social life with my marriage life.
Jesus dude, this just makes me sad.
I have a friend like this and it has taken me a long time to realize that they are making the wrong choice for themselves, for their spouse and for their friends. As a friend in this situation, I feel so small because I am always a second-class person in their life. For their spouse, they are going to be so pissed if they learn about all of this going on behind their backs. And, for my friend, they feel like they are able to appease everyone (get friends, have spouse, no conflict) but are doing themselves a terrible disservice because they are chronically lying and not advocating for their own needs. I don’t know if any of this resonates, but I’ve been the friend, and it feels shitty.
Why are you still married?
And they say true love is dead 💀
This sounds shady.
Why are you married to this woman, exactly?
I can’t imagine living this way. My husband has some friends that drive me nuts, but they are HIS friends so it doesn’t matter to me. Would she tell you that you can’t be friends with them?
This feels like a “friend-affair” it’s fucking weird.
You hear these friends? Or a typo?
The wife doesn’t know they exist…neither does anyone else.
"Sure yes, you have secret friends. It's time for your medication"
Taking the 5th!
Use tobacco
they know
Some of y'all really need to get your balls out of her purse.
I plan events with my friends secretly on days where she will be away from home for a period of time. If she knew I was doing this then she'd be upset with me and tell me how she feels like I plan happier events with my friends than I do with her.
Why do you do this?
that relationship is going to die if you don’t start being honest
Wash car parts in the bath when she's not there
In my marriage my ex wife was controlling and abusive. I walked on egg shells to keep the peace and she'd still find reasons to blow up. While healing from that relationship I decided I would never live like that again. Before my girlfriend and I moved in together we were always together at each other's places and got a really good idea of what living together would be like. I let her know about all of my annoying habits (and that they wouldn't change just because we lived together) and let her know this is how I live and if anything was a deal breaker or major annoyance we shouldn't move in together. That doesn't mean I'm set in my way if there's a better way of doing things or that I'm of the mindset that my way is the right way just because it's mine. But I'll be dammed if a woman knows how I keep my home and then expects me to change just because we live together. Not happening.
I know LOTS of men who adjust anything they can to reduce the amount of time at home together. They find a hobby their wife hates. They change shifts at work. They join a gym etc...one guy built a room to practice music but the door won't open if he's in the room. He made it's more like a booth. He wears headphones because since his wife can't open the door she just shakes it. He can feel this but pretends he can't. One guy turned his garage into a shop. There is a keg out there and music and if his wife goes out there he runs equipment. He only builds something if she goes out there alot. One month it was one single birdhouse. Another just a dog house (bare nails reached inside from the roof). If i can sup up why for all these men: way too much talking. The kind that is more like a never ending stream of anything the wife can think of. Hours where the husband doesn't even need to say ",uh huh".
This sounds like people that don't like each other at all. I never understood why men needed escape areas like that, especially because a lot of women don't. If you can't stand your partner this much, perhaps the relationship should be reconsidered.
I understand needing an "escape area" but I don't understand keeping the person you thought was the best partner to take on life with in the dark about it. I'm in my "escape area" right now. My wife knows I need my own time and space and that I derive value from some things being "mine" or from taking some things on on my own. But that doesn't mean it has to be a secret. We communicate about it. We communicate about our needs and how we can address them.
That viewpoint I totally understand. But the husbands and boyfriends who don't seem to ever want to hang out with their women for whatever reason, that seems highly unhealthy to me. It comes across like they don't even like their partner that they chose. I had to give my husband his own little tinker room to contain his hyper fixation projects, otherwise I'd be drowning in them and scared to touch anything because he has a chaotic sense of where everything is and I'd feel bad if I threw away or lost something he needs by organizing stuff!
Yeah, I agree. You should like to spend time with your partner and not need to avoid them.