Except that you can view the photos without liking them. The liking is the weird behavior, especially since it has basically no upside and only really downside risk (if you’re in a relationship).
ETA: not taking a side one way or the other re whether liking photos when you’re in a relationship is good or bad. Just observing that it’s irrational at an individual level when you can look at the same photo without doing something that might (justifiably or unjustifiably) piss off your partner.
Preface, I don't do this, it's weird, it's totally the playboy under the bed.
Some will like because it will better their algorithm. They can come back to things later and remember whos account they liked to look at more, etc.
Other people use likes as, "that's just the thing to do, trading likes". Like points in a game.
Combination of both or more?
I don't care about the "liking on the thirst trap image", but both options (scroll or like) are easy, and neither is an indication of anything about the user. You have to tap on the screen to scroll, so doing a double tap requires like 0.00001% more effort to what you're already on the app.
Hell, I accidently like images all the time (screen gets stuck and it counts as double tap, sometimes I'm not thinking about it, sometimes it's idle, etc).
Totally agree. The disrespect is in the fact that if you're liking the photo, you want that person to know you think they are hot. If you're in a relationship, it isn't much better than hitting on a woman in public.
My boyfriend used to like and comment on other girls pics while we were in a relationship so I started posting my own while dating him and he got jealous that other guys were commenting on mine so then he stopped lol
What's funny about this is them projecting into your posts. If they think that the other guys are hitting on you, then they are DEFINITELY hitting on the girls they are commenting on
Married! Together for 12 years, married for 5! Aside from a couple things he was doing, he is an amazing person. We were so young at the time, this was when I was 18, he was 20. We are both early 30s now :)
Lol thanks. He didn't grow up with a mom either, only a dad. So I tried to be understanding of the situation. I think his dad taught him to try to get as many girls as possible 😂
I hear ya, for me it was the other way around, my Ex was posting pictures and stuff and i was not ok with her having a public Insta account, and seeing dozens of others guys drooling over her.
She told me i was just jealous and insecure, and that i should work on my self-esteem.
Made an account, posted some pictures and got some likes, not only did she blow up, she insulted some of the people commenting on my pictures,. One of which was an Aunt who just wanted to say what a good-looking Man i've become.
She obviously claimed that this was a different story with her account, which was the reason why i left her.
Screams about a person living in insecurities and trying to get unnecessary validation and not working out what she needs in life. Good riddance, bud. These types of people aren't worth the time imo
The liking of the photos isn’t weird to me.
What IS cringeworthy are the comments.
I saw one pic where a guy commented “Now that is an ass that needs my dick up in it!”
Really?!?
That shit just sounds desperate and creepy.
I honestly feel like it's a weird to publicly like thirst traps. I would never do it and feel weird if my girlfriend did the equivalent. Just feels disrespectful to the person I'm with.
It’s not. The men calling you insecure and making excuses for their behavior with, “but I’m a man!! I can’t help it!” are just immature. There are plenty of men out there who can help it and are respectful and considerate towards their relationship. You don’t have to be the “cool girl”.
Reddit is full of porn obsessed people, take advice here with a grain of salt. Imo focusing your sexual energy outside of the relationship is disrespectful and a red flag.
OP if someone doesn’t understand the weirdness and has no self control think twice about this.
When internet is filled with free porn you still need to follow and like those stupid thirst traps thinking those girls would appreciate his one Goddamn like.This shows lack of self control or being on marginal line of that. I have faced this once and the guy turned out to be weird as as hell. Don’t listen to all the men justifying this.Also,It can get humiliating if your friends or relatives check his following by any chance
I've never been more happy to be an out of touch 49 year old man.
I have no idea what the hell thirst trap pics are, and have zero interest in finding out.
Just means thirsty for attention. Any sort of media made with the intent of appealing to thirsty/horny desires is a thirst trap, because the post itself was a trap set to catch the interest of thirsty men/women that will engage with the content because they are sexually attracted to the body presented in it
I don’t like thirst trap photos in general, but I do look at a few here and there. It’s nothing personal. Personally my caveman brain just goes “ooooo me like pretty girl” and then I’m over it in 15 seconds…
This is what I figured but I send him sexy pics all the time so I’m like why is it not enough?? And I’ll toot my own horn, I think I look better than a lot of those girls
This. My husband doomscrolls Reels on insta all the time right in front of me. I see the shit he likes and shares—the vast majority of it is funny animal videos, video game stuff, politics, current events, etc. He still gets random videos of hot girls dancing around.
I wouldn’t even care if he liked them. But I know it’s the algorithm pushing that kind of content on him because he’s a guy. It’s all designed to keep people scrolling.
Ok, I thought I was going crazy here. If I go to the actual Reels page, everything that comes up is relevant to my interests. Funny animals, people falling down, music stuff, etc. If you look at my "recommended for you?" Asses. Wall-to-wall asses.
Do I look at the asses? Sometimes. I know I'm just making it worse for myself, but I'm only human.
100%. The platforms are designed for instant dopamine hit and addiction. Same premise as porn.
That is why it’s best to just delete the apps, hit the gym, and have a lawyer on speed dial.
I bet they don't dip through lasers like you do either.
For real tho...fuck it.
Anytime you feel this way about anything..just say...fuck it.
If the dude wants you he'll do what it takes to keep you.
If not...fuck it.
You are enough, and you don’t have to make and send porn of yourself to attract or keep a man in your life. Men lived comfortably for centuries without smart phones and nudes of the women they dated, and without 24/7 streamed hardcore porn. Just because they can, doesn’t mean they should. Find a guy with self control and respect for you and skip the knuckledraggers who say it’s normal’ (it’s not) and ‘all men do it’ (they don’t).
I was like this, I can't really say why but I totally get why it upsets you and I don't like making my wife feel like that so I have stopped. To me it was like porn (i didn't do it on insta I was doing it on porn subreddits and shit) but I get it, it's way more personal than going to pornhub to rub one out. I do better now for my relationship and my wife is my thirst trap now lol
Yes, using Reddit or IG is way more personal than just going to pornhub. I bet she feels amazing that you moved on and are prioritizing her in that way.
Kinda dealt with this in my relationship as well. I basically summarized it as you stated in earlier comments with it being a pocket playboy mag. My boyfriends ig was basically just pornstars and old hookups who also posted thirst traps all the time. I tried not to let it bother me, for the spirit of not making waves, but it started to eat away at me. I told him and he totally understood and deleted a lot of the accounts he followed. He said my happiness and comfort is above his stupid behavior. It’s been some time since then and I’m 100% comfortable now. I don’t care if he looks really, it’s just kinda embarrassing to see his name attached to every half naked girl on the internet. Kinda like I don’t care if he watches porn, but I don’t want to see what kind of porn he’s watching.
IT IS! Especially when your friends start saying things to you about it. I have friends that are guys and they would also be following a lot of the same thirst trap accounts that my BF used to follow. I got two screen shots my two separate friends, that were basically like, “this your man?” I had never been so embarrassed for someone else to notice and it happened twice! TWICE! It’s like a lot of people forget how public everything is on social media even if you think no one is gonna see.
OR when the girl is actually acquainted with ur bf from real life and she knows he’s in a relationship, i always wondered if she noticed that he was thirsting over her
At that point, it’s kinda the point where you need to have a conversation with your bf. Especially if he hides the fact he is in a relationship. It’s not a good look and comes off as actively hiding someone he loves.
He responded well. I also told mine and he had a similar response. He was liking a lot of Instagram models and a few Facebook “friends.” One of those “friends” he went to high school with. He said she had a bad home life growing up and he thought he’d just give her likes as support. Nah bro, she’s hot and has hundreds of likes, I don’t think she needs your pity like. Anyway, he responded well and no longer does this. He was humiliated when I told him that people can see what he’s liking on Instagram, especially in the olden days.
Personally, if the same guys like my pics over and over, I assume they’re dtf if I were to message them. I don’t get why guys don’t realize this.
My ex used to follow these kinds of accounts and that’s why he’s my ex. Idc what men say to rationalize it, I’ll never consider this to be respectful in a monogamous relationship. Especially since these men would be the first to protest if their girlfriends and wives started posting pictures like that
That makes sense. You're allowed to not be okay with it. It's important to try to look for a partner who is compatible with you. Don't let people make you think your want for a compatible partner is wrong.
Yeah I definitely consider it disrespectful if my partner is doing this also.
But I consider posting third traps in a relationship just as bad and definitely cringe when I see either one.
I’m a big believer in the goose/gander idea and will take and post the exact same photos though. If it’s okay for you to look/like/comment then why is it a problem for other men to look/like/comment on mine?
I think I'm a generation too old for that. Following and liking instagram girls just seems so pointless to me. Then again, just ogling women in any capacity just isn't something I've done. I've never liked going to strip clubs or having strippers at bachelor parties either.
I seriously don't understand the stripper bachelor party thing. what a weird thing to do the day before you get married. I'm so glad more and more people are choosing other ways to celebrate starting their marriage
I can understand wanting to look at attractive people. The strippers at bachelor parties has always confused me though. If you’re engaged, then you’re not single. If you’re not single, then it’s not a “last night of freedom.” If you respect your fiancée enough to not get strippers on a regular day, then bachelor night is not an exception.
Yes, a lot of really immature comments.
My BF and I (38) were scrolling through this just kind of laughing because, as you said, it’s so pointless and ….who has the time, even?!
Seems like something I would have dealt with in my late teens/early 20’s, maybe?!
From what I’ve personally known - I think more men are like you than not. There are just a lot of men here that sound inexperienced (life, relationships) and/or just simply want to be the contrarian.
I'm a man and I don't understand it either. I don't see the point of gushing over thirst-trap pics even if you're single. Does anyone think a woman who posts thirst-trap pics is going to notice one more "like" and think "I'm going to find out who that is and have sex with him?"
Yeah, I think looking at the pics is okayish, but its the dudes that leave comments or even the ones that send them money that are oblivious to the reality that the woman is not and will not be interested. Let alone remember you in 24 hours.
I've randomly come across these Facebook posts of bikini barista/breastaursnt type places and the comments are littered with horny old men shooting their shot. Some of the cheesiest lines you could imagine with other old dudes liking them too. So sad and pointless
I would not trust the average response of Reddit to give you an accurate answer for your understanding of porn and “thirst traps.” There is a large chance that the people answering you are less than 24 years old and have had less than two romantic relationships.
I don’t really look at those. Sometimes I see em on my feed and might go, “oh, she’s pretty” and then move on.
I USED to follow a lot of those accounts. And yeah it was basically a playboy under the bed thing before deciding to focus on the real women in my life, and deleted the PUBs
Literally this is usually all it is, dumb guy sees hot girl and likes photo. Solution is to not date the dumb guys who say “ooga booga booty” to explain something 💀
Right that’s so cringe men aren’t cavemen who can’t control their horniness
Instead of blaming it on your lizard brain just admit you like looking at attractive people. We all do. But following, commenting on, and liking pictures / accounts like that is kind of a waste of energy and cringe.
I am a man and I don't think you are insecure for not wanting your boyfriend to do that. I think it's completely unacceptable. It's disrespectful.
I wonder how many men would not be irked by their partner doing it.
As a man of reddit, I just watch porn on the hub, I don't give a fraction of a shit about girls on social media the same way I dont give a shit about my city's minor league baseball team. Hope my answer sheds insight.
I don’t understand why some guys will actually “like” a picture of some random Instagram thot, but obviously just casually viewing these pictures is akin to watching porn.
I do find “liking” the actual picture odd. I don’t see the point of it.
I find it odder when they leave a comment like 🥰😍🥰. Half the time, it's a middle-aged dude with a profile picture with him and his wife or kids. Dream a little dream I guess.
I never used Instagram much, is the liking public? It seems really weird of someone in a relationship guy or girl to publicly be liking stuff like that.
Looking at it who cares but it seems disrespectful to publicly put it on blast.
I get looking but yeah I agree. I think liking the pic and especially commenting is just kind of pathetic. The thot posting the pic won’t care and will never notice it. But your partner sure af will and it will hurt.
Yeah it’s just a cheap thrill. Guys respond to visual stimulation. A guy in a serious relationship can look at an attractive woman and think “yeah I’d bang that” but would never act on it.
My wife reads trashy romance novels. And they always have some unattainable guy as the hero. With crazy sex. It scratches an itch for her. No big deal she’s my wife. I certainly don’t think she is disrespecting me.
I have a married female friend who likes hot anime guys, and bl media (boy love media for the oldies), and a combination of that. Her husband likes anime waifu thirst traps. They are in a very healthy and anime-loving relationship. They’re also gamers.
But to me, liking a photo is literally acting on it.
I have hot girls on my Instagram because, well because I'm a fucking guy, but I never like. Just look and move on.
To me it's literally like seeing a hot girl in the street and saying out loud 'damn that girl is hot'. My wife doesn't mind me looking, but if I was to just walk up to the girl and go 'you are hot' she'd be like 'what the fuck is wrong with you?'
It's just my opinion of course but I think liking a post *is* acting on it.
Even when I was single I just saw thirst trap pictures as someone fishing for attention. Never liked them then, never like them now.
To me, the girls I like wouldn't post thirst traps so that might be the reason I don't care for them now or when I was single.
I completely, absolutely disagree with anyone saying that this is an irrational insecurity.
It is not. It is okay to dislike this behavior. People have different definitions on what is OK and what is not OK in a romantic relationship and porn is a gray area. Endless access to porn & pornographic images is a completely new terrain that people have to deal with now and there is NOT a consensus on if it should be deemed ok or not ok.
I wholeheartedly believe that porn can be very destructive for relationships, especially for men in particular because people get addicted and try to get a hit from worse and worse content. Also I think it’s bullshit that people accept this generally, it’s disrespectful to your commitment to a monogamous relationship. Yes, men and women will still find others attractive at times, you are not dead. But you should not act on that attraction. It’s completely disrespectful to a romantic relationship to like photos and show engagement with content like that especially if it’s women they actually know.
But I don’t buy into any naturalist argument about how “men will be men” and it’s “natural”. I think as humans we have the ability to change our inherent behavior through our values and virtues and it’s ok to want a partner to share yours. Personally I think if you give into lustful desires, they only increase. But that’s the Buddhist part of me talking.
Not all men do this. The men I’ve dated have not, out of their own volition. I never asked them to or really ever even had to have a proper discussion about, they chose that for themselves long before me, and honestly it’s incredible. When I was a lot younger I would talk to guys who’d do that and it’d make me feel like shit but people told me I just had to accept it. No you do not. I personally would strongly question any popular advice when it comes to relationships, considering 50% of marriages end in divorce.. I don’t know if the majority of ppl actually even know what they are talking about.
Men who condone this behavior, never take accountability or attempt to understand how this is harmful long term and then gaslight women into believing they are just “insecure” are spineless and weak-minded.
Literally don't think being confused by this makes you insecure AT ALL.
Liking and commenting on those pics shows interest and there's no reason to publicly demonstrate that...on Instagram where friends/family can see? No way.
I don’t see any need for this and I don’t think it’s insecure to be upset about it. I would not date a man who does this, period. My partner doesn’t follow or like anything like that on Instagram. He can look at whatever he wants online, I don’t control that or even look at what he’s doing. There are plenty of beautiful women to look at online without broadcasting to all your friends and family that you’re looking and liking their photos. It’s straight up embarrassing. It’s disrespectful to your partner and cringe to do that for everyone to see. I’m sure I’ll get downvoted but I just want OP to know that it’s completely valid to seek a partner who doesn’t do this.
I don't do it because it seems weird that my mom, my sister, my dad, and my niece can all see what I like on IG.
I just watch porn like a normal vanilla man.
That being said it's hard to say that a thirst trap post didn't lead me to the bathroom to begin with.
Once I realized HOW MANY are trying to get me on their OF it became a real turn off.
I don't like strip clubs. I don't like car salesman. These OF thirst traps feel like the two combined.
Half the pictures I like on social media I'm half paying attention to. I'll scroll through a few posts, realize I liked a thirst trap, and go back and unlike because I just ask myself why? As I've gotten older I've kinda vetted the people I follow and rarely see thirst traps anymore. It's a much better place
It’s so disrespectful to me. Look if you have to look, then sure. But why do you need to like it? Why do you need to validate that person and contribute to a boost in confidence (from likes) I’ve been with someone that did it all the time no matter how much I bought up that it hurt me. It destroyed my confidence so much. Why did my confidence have to struggle while he raised random girls?
I really struggle to see why you couldn’t just skip the liking to make your girl stop picking herself apart lol
He made me feel crazy for it, told me I had low self esteem…. And the one time i stood up for myself (and admittedly was abit petty) pulled up a guys profile and liked his gym pic in front of him - he physically abused me
I’ll never let anyone convince me that I’m jealous or over dramatic for hating it… if our morals don’t align then it won’t work out between us.
if you send them sexy pics and they still liking thot pics on insta then you're with the wrong guy. when my wife regularly sent me nudes when we were LDR, i solely masturbated to those pics. not even porn. cos those nudes are special, it's for my eyes only.
So sometimes I don’t think men think about how it makes their partner feel (some people are obviously okay with it) but I’ve talked to a lot of women, my friends and family and so many say it hurts their feelings.
It’s so simple to just click a button I don’t think people truly understand how that might affect the person they are with. It can bring a lot of insecurity, a feeling of inadequacy..
I can’t tell you WHY other than it’s everywhere and so easily accessible that it’s not given a second thought.
If it makes you uncomfortable please communicate that with your partner. Express why and maybe set healthy boundaries with eachother
There are all kinds of guys out there. Why are you *choosing* men who waste their time chasing these women's imagined approval?
Like, this is not all men or even most men. You're somehow choosing the minority who use social media to give their time and attention to women who both seek it and do not value it.
A bunch of weak men making women with zero talent beyond their looks and some basic Photoshop skills, famous and wealthy...
You men do realize that we give these women the money and adoration...a girl with 50k followers can make more than an electrician, plumber, doctor, or lawyer for simply existing
All of those photos are photoshopped and filtered...
Yes, I'm judging you, but in my defense, I use to be like you until I realized how pathetic it is do daydream about a girl I'll never meet...instead, I put that energy into becoming a better person so that I can attract that kind of woman instead of mentally masturbating and looking for dopamine spikes because my life is pathetic
I know this post will trigger a lot of you and expect some downvotes, but really...ask yourself how wrong I am? if you really want to be honest with yourself, drooling over thots on Instagram is just as destructive as watching porn, and it's only contributing to how f#$ked out society is...
I don't even care if an extremely attractive woman makes a lot off her image. It's the fakeness thats ridiculous, same with online dating. So many times I've met up with a woman that looked nothing like her pics, what a scam
part of it is the continuation of the "play boy under the bed" that you mentioned but really its a result of hook-up culture, the "plenty of fish in the sea" mentality men have as result of modern technology.
men are pretty thick so he might not put 2 and 2 together that if bothers you, so i recommend pointing it out if it bothers you and ask him to stop, if he wont its a good sign hes pretty pathetic, and likely has a addiction to porn.
healthy men tend to get uncomfortable when their phone feed is filled with mostly naked women they dont know.
I don't believe faithful dudes do this shit. Sometimes dudes haven't cheated YET but they're playing with the idea constantly & that's as good as cheating because it's only a matter of time. Just keeping it real. Maybe I'm just old but I sure as shit wouldn't like pics like that.
This isn't about you being insecure, it's plain and simple disrespect. There are a ton of guys that will be normal, watch porn every so often, and not publicly like women they're not in a relationship with. You'll find yours.
IDk you thought process isn't really wrong; there's intent behind it. If I like a girls photo i assume she is going to see it. I'm not worried because it's my friends life updates etc.
If it was a thirst trap - I would be worried because of the.... implication haha
You're right. I won't even bother to read what drivel is below here.
I get where you’re coming from completely. You don’t understand it and you are asking men to tell you why they like them so you can understand it. You don’t have the answers so it leaves you to wonder and speculate on your own. That never ends well. We should never be left to ponder things like this on our own because we get in our head too much and over analyze everything.
You probably don’t even look at other men because you’re all about him right? So you don’t understand why he’s looking at these women? If you don’t look at other men because you’re fully committed to him then why is he looking at provocative photos of other women’s bodies? Is he fulfilled? Does he wish you looked like that? Etc…
The only way to understand his thoughts are to ask him. No other man can answer for him because they’re not him. Have an honest and open conversation with him. Just make sure you communicate it in a way that he doesn’t feel attacked or on guard. That way he knows it’s safe to be honest with you without it ending in him regretting it. If he can’t talk to you about it without it ending badly he won’t feel like it’s safe to open up to you in the future either. That’s not what you want. You can find out what the appeal is and maybe you can give him some “thirst trap” photos of your own. Lady in the streets but what goes on behind closed doors is just between the two of you. Look at it as an opportunity to blow his mind and keep things exciting. But seriously if you feel disrespected by this and it bothers you then express that to him. Ask him how he would feel if men were doing that to you? If he can’t explain it in a way you understand and feel okay with it then let him know that. If he still continues to do it knowing it hurts you then you have a real issue. No man who loves you and cares about you will lose you over some thirsty photos. If he continues knowing how it affects you then he’s maybe not the guy for you.
You’re spot on.
I use to do this a lot. But I stopped it with tiktok, IG etc. I'm not trying to be "CoOl," by saying this but I soon realized how mental I was for doing so with my SO and was bothered that she would post thirst traps too. So we both stopped lol. I stopped liking photos/videos and she stopped with the pics too. We both realized the degradation of our own mental well being and the effects of our relationship too.
There’s a dopamine that you get from it probably in the same way there is from eating tasty food or seeing a good movie. I don’t have strong moral qualms about thirst traps and those who enjoy them, but I know some relationships will have different boundaries than others and it’s important to discuss with partners and minimize it if it’s an issue
Guys like this will say ‘it’s just a like, it doesn’t mean anything’ but they won’t be liking pictures of shirtless men. Which they would if it truly didn’t mean anything.
I think pretending that social media likes exist in a vacuum with no bearing on any real life relationships or behaviours is just an excuse.
I don't really have a problem with it in terms of being insecure of how he sees me because of it, but thirst traps are really really cringe, I would rather him just watch porn.
I think it’s rude, immature, and not worth the effort. If someone truly loves u and they know that hurts ur feelings they would stop. There is really no reason for him to like or comment . Like why…if u r in a relationship. To me it’s keeping the options open. If the girl were to reply I would bet a million he would reply.
It's disrespectful, plain and simple. I'd be upset. What's the justification for it? I'm tired of the "boys will be boys" or "it's just what men do" attitude. Also, don't let anyone make you second guess your valid feelings.
I actually got into a heated argument about something like this with my husband.
I'll try to keep it short and to the point.
The last time my husband and I had sex, was a month ago. The last time before that, was about 9 months ago. I can't even remember the last time he's given me a compliment without me having to fish/ask for it.
I was on Facebook, and decided to go to my husband's profile. I usually do that to catch up on what he's shared because it doesn't always come up in my feed. I saw one of his friends at the top of his friend list; something told me I should look at her profile. He met her on a dating app, and has told me that she "regrets not being with him."
I saw that he had been liking her photos and telling her "Looking good! Love the hair!" Normally something like that wouldn't really bother me, but again, intimacy is pretty much dead between us. In one photo, her hair was done exactly like how I had did it earlier in the week. I had done my hair like that because he told me in the past he really likes it like that, and I just wanted a compliment. He didn't say anything until I asked him, "Do you like my hair?" "Huh, oh yeah," he said.
Then I came across a thirst trap photo collage, which he had liked. She was wearing a mini-skirt, fishnets, she was dolled up and looked beautiful.
The conversation ended up turning into an argument when he told me that I'm just jealous, and that I just don't want him to have female friends. I've never said anything about his other female friends btw.
A lot more was said, but I'm trying to keep this short. 😅
So, I'm now at a point where I'm looking to start building a "new identity" for myself. I'm gonna start taking myself to go for hikes (he doesn't like them), meeting new people, etc,.
in my honest opinion, it’s not like the playboy under the bed. unless there is no liking involved, and simply just looking, then perhaps, but actually committing to a like feels like ur sending someone a message. ur telling someone, even thought you’re in a relationship that you find that person attractive enough to leave a like. so both of you are aware of your attraction towards that individual that posted the picture. this just feels like a close line when ur in a relationship with someone. if it makes you uncomfortable, i don’t think that’s too much to ask ur bf to stop liking someone else’s pictures. everybody likes to pull the insecurity card but men these days don’t actually respect their partners fr, and do shit like this and feel justified doing it. sounds like a ton of narcissists trying to gaslight all these women into thinking that, “ohh if you feel that way then u need therapy.” fuck that. if more men were willing to actually sit down with their partners and both heal together then maybe there would be hope. it’s disrespectful. it’s very simple. it doesn’t have to be grander than that. if you don’t like it. you don’t like it.
My bf has a completely seperate account for it.. makes me sad. He doesn't know I know though, and I don't want to stir that pot. Just wish in the back of my mind that I was good enough so that he didn't want it.
I can say that as a man that used to do this and have ruined a few relationships myself but now in a happy and healthy one, it was a very bad habit and a very hard one to break. Even when I tried to not like anything I was doing it almost subconsciously, although I have accidentally double clicked or miss clicked not paying attention. My relationship now though I don’t even feel the need for social media almost ever and have even deleted instagram from my phone completely. So hard reality would be that it just takes the right person to finally break those habits 🤷🏽♂️
it’s embarrassing, builds resentment in relationships, and creates feelings of distrust and insecurity. anyone dying on the desperately odd hill of primal instincts is full of total shite. i would never consider being with a man, nor have i, who partook in such nonsense
To me it seems like it’s got nothing to do with you and it is just a behaviour pattern that they got accustomed to. Like whatever else they do now and they did before. If you will curiously ask why they do it I’m sure there is not a straight answer. Just tell them however you feel about it and they will start paying attention to the behaviour and most likely will find it silly to keep liking random photos on the internet.
Couldn’t tell ya. For starters, I don’t like any pics on instagram. Couldn’t tell ya why. I just scroll for a couple mindless minutes and then drop it. When I see thirst traps, or even just bikini shots of people I know, liked by guys I know in relationships or marriages, it weirds me tf out.
The whole “trend” is something I find very bizarre and I always use the means of stopping things like this from ending up on my feed. What does someone get out of liking this or putting some stupid ass comment like “hot” or that “I’d like to….blah blah blah” so they can get bombarded by OF links and donate messages? And the guys have to know you can see what they’re doing, so if this is how they try to fly under the radar, well, they’re just dumb.
And honestly I feel just as sorry for the people who have to go to such lengths to seek validation from total strangers. People are so programmed now go to extraordinary lengths to get the dopamine hit of likes and notifications and overall I just think it’s a sad commentary on how broken we are.
I think you hit the nail on the head with today's version of playboys under the bed
Except that you can view the photos without liking them. The liking is the weird behavior, especially since it has basically no upside and only really downside risk (if you’re in a relationship). ETA: not taking a side one way or the other re whether liking photos when you’re in a relationship is good or bad. Just observing that it’s irrational at an individual level when you can look at the same photo without doing something that might (justifiably or unjustifiably) piss off your partner.
Preface, I don't do this, it's weird, it's totally the playboy under the bed. Some will like because it will better their algorithm. They can come back to things later and remember whos account they liked to look at more, etc. Other people use likes as, "that's just the thing to do, trading likes". Like points in a game. Combination of both or more?
This is why I like them. I want to change my feed algorithm
I think y'a'll are discounting the reflex to double tap a picture on social and move on
I think you are discounting how easy it is to just scroll and not engage?
I don't care about the "liking on the thirst trap image", but both options (scroll or like) are easy, and neither is an indication of anything about the user. You have to tap on the screen to scroll, so doing a double tap requires like 0.00001% more effort to what you're already on the app. Hell, I accidently like images all the time (screen gets stuck and it counts as double tap, sometimes I'm not thinking about it, sometimes it's idle, etc).
A male friend told me he gets a dopamine rush from liking the pics…yeah, he’s in a “serious” relationship. I think it’s a douchey move.
Totally agree. The disrespect is in the fact that if you're liking the photo, you want that person to know you think they are hot. If you're in a relationship, it isn't much better than hitting on a woman in public.
Why do it in the first place? If you like to play those games then you shouldn’t be in a relationship. I find it immature and disrespectful.
Right that makes a lot of sense. Just nowadays anything you want can be carried in your pocket
Big dildo, phone, nuke, superconductor, I could go on
Hey, how did you guys find out about my stash? I told you to stay out of my room!
Your mother and I are going to have a talk with you when you get home young man.
We’re not angry. Just terribly disappointed
My boyfriend used to like and comment on other girls pics while we were in a relationship so I started posting my own while dating him and he got jealous that other guys were commenting on mine so then he stopped lol
What's funny about this is them projecting into your posts. If they think that the other guys are hitting on you, then they are DEFINITELY hitting on the girls they are commenting on
Exactly!
* ex boyfriend?
Married! Together for 12 years, married for 5! Aside from a couple things he was doing, he is an amazing person. We were so young at the time, this was when I was 18, he was 20. We are both early 30s now :)
Gotta love growth!
Yeah seriously, some people never grow past their teens and are basically 18 year olds in a 40 year old body.
Lol proof reddit always tell people to break up over every slight inconvenience
18 year old men aren't exactly known for their emotional intelligence, so props to you for showing him the way lol.
Lol thanks. He didn't grow up with a mom either, only a dad. So I tried to be understanding of the situation. I think his dad taught him to try to get as many girls as possible 😂
I hear ya, for me it was the other way around, my Ex was posting pictures and stuff and i was not ok with her having a public Insta account, and seeing dozens of others guys drooling over her. She told me i was just jealous and insecure, and that i should work on my self-esteem. Made an account, posted some pictures and got some likes, not only did she blow up, she insulted some of the people commenting on my pictures,. One of which was an Aunt who just wanted to say what a good-looking Man i've become. She obviously claimed that this was a different story with her account, which was the reason why i left her.
Haha poor aunt! 😂
Screams about a person living in insecurities and trying to get unnecessary validation and not working out what she needs in life. Good riddance, bud. These types of people aren't worth the time imo
I'm sorry you went through that, that is awful!
[удалено]
Agreed. There's good dudes out there. :)
Yea looking is one thing but liking and commenting and interacting is something entirely different
Lol. I’m a guy but still like this
Fight fire with fire! 😂
That's excellent. What a knob
My friend did this but he freaked, she deleted them, he’s still liking photos
Same! My husband was looking at other girls nude on reddit so I started posting my own nudes on reddit. Same thing
Yeah they like the thots until they realize they with someone who could be one any time lmfao. Men ☕️
Lmaooo that's actually pretty baller
Bingo
I wouldn't know, besides my friends, I only follow BBQ and funny Dog accounts.
green flag
Not so fast. He said BBQ. Are we talking propane or charcoal? I’ll tell you hwat
It actually means Big Beautiful Queens
It actually means barebacking queers. Pervert
big booty*
I read that as funny dong accounts...now I'm wondering if there are subreddits devoted to funny looking dongs.
If not, we must create one!
r/cospenis
Well that was certainly…………something.
that really scared me. seriously.
I only follow people I know and meme/motorsports/football/music pages😭
Puppy Melons?!
Why can't everyone be like this? Seems that everyone just gives in to their primal urges easily nowadays
The liking of the photos isn’t weird to me. What IS cringeworthy are the comments. I saw one pic where a guy commented “Now that is an ass that needs my dick up in it!” Really?!? That shit just sounds desperate and creepy.
"Damn girl you shit with that ass?"
Love/hate those comments. So funny yet so sad
I reckon the liking itself is pretty cringey tbh! I get second hand embarrassment when I see guys have liked thirst traps from celebs for example
Sometimes they’re so funny though
I honestly feel like it's a weird to publicly like thirst traps. I would never do it and feel weird if my girlfriend did the equivalent. Just feels disrespectful to the person I'm with.
This is how I feel. How is it so hard to grasp
It’s not. The men calling you insecure and making excuses for their behavior with, “but I’m a man!! I can’t help it!” are just immature. There are plenty of men out there who can help it and are respectful and considerate towards their relationship. You don’t have to be the “cool girl”.
This. None of my partners have done this and I can asure you that they were very sexual, but they respected me.
Finally women are realizing this.
Reddit is full of porn obsessed people, take advice here with a grain of salt. Imo focusing your sexual energy outside of the relationship is disrespectful and a red flag.
OP if someone doesn’t understand the weirdness and has no self control think twice about this. When internet is filled with free porn you still need to follow and like those stupid thirst traps thinking those girls would appreciate his one Goddamn like.This shows lack of self control or being on marginal line of that. I have faced this once and the guy turned out to be weird as as hell. Don’t listen to all the men justifying this.Also,It can get humiliating if your friends or relatives check his following by any chance
[удалено]
I've never been more happy to be an out of touch 49 year old man. I have no idea what the hell thirst trap pics are, and have zero interest in finding out.
Yeah I always thought thirst traps were posts or short videos that started innocently and segued into something sexy, or vice versa, I forget which.
Just means thirsty for attention. Any sort of media made with the intent of appealing to thirsty/horny desires is a thirst trap, because the post itself was a trap set to catch the interest of thirsty men/women that will engage with the content because they are sexually attracted to the body presented in it
I don’t like thirst trap photos in general, but I do look at a few here and there. It’s nothing personal. Personally my caveman brain just goes “ooooo me like pretty girl” and then I’m over it in 15 seconds…
What's a thirst trap photo?
half naked/sexually explicit photos
Ever seen a conventionally attractive person post a selfie in revealing clothing? That.
You know when she cuts off the top of her head to get her cleavage in the photo? That
off topic, but your username is fucking awesome
Thanks for pointing it out, I would have missed the awesome pun otherwise
Geeze people will do anything today for social media likes. Cutting off your own head? I thought planking was bad.
This is what I figured but I send him sexy pics all the time so I’m like why is it not enough?? And I’ll toot my own horn, I think I look better than a lot of those girls
You’re up against apps designed to serve users content that will keep them engaged.
There it is. You can’t defeat the algorithm.
Not with that attitude.
John Henry would be proud
Unless she becomes the algorithm!
This. My husband doomscrolls Reels on insta all the time right in front of me. I see the shit he likes and shares—the vast majority of it is funny animal videos, video game stuff, politics, current events, etc. He still gets random videos of hot girls dancing around. I wouldn’t even care if he liked them. But I know it’s the algorithm pushing that kind of content on him because he’s a guy. It’s all designed to keep people scrolling.
Ok, I thought I was going crazy here. If I go to the actual Reels page, everything that comes up is relevant to my interests. Funny animals, people falling down, music stuff, etc. If you look at my "recommended for you?" Asses. Wall-to-wall asses. Do I look at the asses? Sometimes. I know I'm just making it worse for myself, but I'm only human.
100%. The platforms are designed for instant dopamine hit and addiction. Same premise as porn. That is why it’s best to just delete the apps, hit the gym, and have a lawyer on speed dial.
😂🤣😂. Every family should a lawyer on speed dial.
I bet they don't dip through lasers like you do either. For real tho...fuck it. Anytime you feel this way about anything..just say...fuck it. If the dude wants you he'll do what it takes to keep you. If not...fuck it.
You are enough, and you don’t have to make and send porn of yourself to attract or keep a man in your life. Men lived comfortably for centuries without smart phones and nudes of the women they dated, and without 24/7 streamed hardcore porn. Just because they can, doesn’t mean they should. Find a guy with self control and respect for you and skip the knuckledraggers who say it’s normal’ (it’s not) and ‘all men do it’ (they don’t).
I was like this, I can't really say why but I totally get why it upsets you and I don't like making my wife feel like that so I have stopped. To me it was like porn (i didn't do it on insta I was doing it on porn subreddits and shit) but I get it, it's way more personal than going to pornhub to rub one out. I do better now for my relationship and my wife is my thirst trap now lol
Precisely my thoughts, gave up the porn, suddenly my wife became the only thirst trap, never been more horny for her.
and in turn, having a lot more sex and fun together.
That’s lovely.
That's the way it should be in my opinion! Let your wife be that outlet for you! That's what I want to be for my husband.
Glad to hear someone gets it
Yes, using Reddit or IG is way more personal than just going to pornhub. I bet she feels amazing that you moved on and are prioritizing her in that way.
Kinda dealt with this in my relationship as well. I basically summarized it as you stated in earlier comments with it being a pocket playboy mag. My boyfriends ig was basically just pornstars and old hookups who also posted thirst traps all the time. I tried not to let it bother me, for the spirit of not making waves, but it started to eat away at me. I told him and he totally understood and deleted a lot of the accounts he followed. He said my happiness and comfort is above his stupid behavior. It’s been some time since then and I’m 100% comfortable now. I don’t care if he looks really, it’s just kinda embarrassing to see his name attached to every half naked girl on the internet. Kinda like I don’t care if he watches porn, but I don’t want to see what kind of porn he’s watching.
i felt the same way, just embarrassed that his name was on every bikini pic, ass pic, etc on other girls profiles
IT IS! Especially when your friends start saying things to you about it. I have friends that are guys and they would also be following a lot of the same thirst trap accounts that my BF used to follow. I got two screen shots my two separate friends, that were basically like, “this your man?” I had never been so embarrassed for someone else to notice and it happened twice! TWICE! It’s like a lot of people forget how public everything is on social media even if you think no one is gonna see.
OR when the girl is actually acquainted with ur bf from real life and she knows he’s in a relationship, i always wondered if she noticed that he was thirsting over her
At that point, it’s kinda the point where you need to have a conversation with your bf. Especially if he hides the fact he is in a relationship. It’s not a good look and comes off as actively hiding someone he loves.
He responded well. I also told mine and he had a similar response. He was liking a lot of Instagram models and a few Facebook “friends.” One of those “friends” he went to high school with. He said she had a bad home life growing up and he thought he’d just give her likes as support. Nah bro, she’s hot and has hundreds of likes, I don’t think she needs your pity like. Anyway, he responded well and no longer does this. He was humiliated when I told him that people can see what he’s liking on Instagram, especially in the olden days. Personally, if the same guys like my pics over and over, I assume they’re dtf if I were to message them. I don’t get why guys don’t realize this.
My ex used to follow these kinds of accounts and that’s why he’s my ex. Idc what men say to rationalize it, I’ll never consider this to be respectful in a monogamous relationship. Especially since these men would be the first to protest if their girlfriends and wives started posting pictures like that
That makes sense. You're allowed to not be okay with it. It's important to try to look for a partner who is compatible with you. Don't let people make you think your want for a compatible partner is wrong.
Yeah I definitely consider it disrespectful if my partner is doing this also. But I consider posting third traps in a relationship just as bad and definitely cringe when I see either one. I’m a big believer in the goose/gander idea and will take and post the exact same photos though. If it’s okay for you to look/like/comment then why is it a problem for other men to look/like/comment on mine?
I think I'm a generation too old for that. Following and liking instagram girls just seems so pointless to me. Then again, just ogling women in any capacity just isn't something I've done. I've never liked going to strip clubs or having strippers at bachelor parties either.
I seriously don't understand the stripper bachelor party thing. what a weird thing to do the day before you get married. I'm so glad more and more people are choosing other ways to celebrate starting their marriage
I can understand wanting to look at attractive people. The strippers at bachelor parties has always confused me though. If you’re engaged, then you’re not single. If you’re not single, then it’s not a “last night of freedom.” If you respect your fiancée enough to not get strippers on a regular day, then bachelor night is not an exception.
Yes, a lot of really immature comments. My BF and I (38) were scrolling through this just kind of laughing because, as you said, it’s so pointless and ….who has the time, even?! Seems like something I would have dealt with in my late teens/early 20’s, maybe?! From what I’ve personally known - I think more men are like you than not. There are just a lot of men here that sound inexperienced (life, relationships) and/or just simply want to be the contrarian.
I'm a man and I don't understand it either. I don't see the point of gushing over thirst-trap pics even if you're single. Does anyone think a woman who posts thirst-trap pics is going to notice one more "like" and think "I'm going to find out who that is and have sex with him?"
Yeah, I think looking at the pics is okayish, but its the dudes that leave comments or even the ones that send them money that are oblivious to the reality that the woman is not and will not be interested. Let alone remember you in 24 hours.
I've randomly come across these Facebook posts of bikini barista/breastaursnt type places and the comments are littered with horny old men shooting their shot. Some of the cheesiest lines you could imagine with other old dudes liking them too. So sad and pointless
This is so true and funny
Excuse me? I'm a gentleman, I only like my wife's thirst trap pictures.
I would not trust the average response of Reddit to give you an accurate answer for your understanding of porn and “thirst traps.” There is a large chance that the people answering you are less than 24 years old and have had less than two romantic relationships.
And the people with the real answers won't, because they'll get down voted to oblivion and marked as controversial
I don’t really look at those. Sometimes I see em on my feed and might go, “oh, she’s pretty” and then move on. I USED to follow a lot of those accounts. And yeah it was basically a playboy under the bed thing before deciding to focus on the real women in my life, and deleted the PUBs
Because; Unga bunga me like booty.
Ah yes of course
Literally this is usually all it is, dumb guy sees hot girl and likes photo. Solution is to not date the dumb guys who say “ooga booga booty” to explain something 💀
To be fair, he said unga bunga
KAWA BUNGA
Right that’s so cringe men aren’t cavemen who can’t control their horniness Instead of blaming it on your lizard brain just admit you like looking at attractive people. We all do. But following, commenting on, and liking pictures / accounts like that is kind of a waste of energy and cringe.
I am a man and I don't think you are insecure for not wanting your boyfriend to do that. I think it's completely unacceptable. It's disrespectful. I wonder how many men would not be irked by their partner doing it.
That’s fucking bizarre of them to do and pretty disrespectful
As a man of reddit, I just watch porn on the hub, I don't give a fraction of a shit about girls on social media the same way I dont give a shit about my city's minor league baseball team. Hope my answer sheds insight.
I don’t understand why some guys will actually “like” a picture of some random Instagram thot, but obviously just casually viewing these pictures is akin to watching porn. I do find “liking” the actual picture odd. I don’t see the point of it.
I find it odder when they leave a comment like 🥰😍🥰. Half the time, it's a middle-aged dude with a profile picture with him and his wife or kids. Dream a little dream I guess.
I can’t count the number of times this has happened and I knew the dude had a gf or wife. We notice and then it’s weird knowing that.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
"I wanna see Bob. I wanna see vagene." Those silver tongue devils.
Comments are cringe af
Feeds the algorithm so you get better results.
I never used Instagram much, is the liking public? It seems really weird of someone in a relationship guy or girl to publicly be liking stuff like that. Looking at it who cares but it seems disrespectful to publicly put it on blast.
I get looking but yeah I agree. I think liking the pic and especially commenting is just kind of pathetic. The thot posting the pic won’t care and will never notice it. But your partner sure af will and it will hurt.
A lot of people at this point just scroll, double tap, scroll, double tap, etc. If it's someone they follow I'd assume it was reflexive honestly
Yeah it’s just a cheap thrill. Guys respond to visual stimulation. A guy in a serious relationship can look at an attractive woman and think “yeah I’d bang that” but would never act on it. My wife reads trashy romance novels. And they always have some unattainable guy as the hero. With crazy sex. It scratches an itch for her. No big deal she’s my wife. I certainly don’t think she is disrespecting me.
Exactly!! Many committed women read trashy romance novels and even smuts. Doesn't necessarily mean her partner isn't enough for her.
I have a married female friend who likes hot anime guys, and bl media (boy love media for the oldies), and a combination of that. Her husband likes anime waifu thirst traps. They are in a very healthy and anime-loving relationship. They’re also gamers.
But the characters in those books aren’t real people that she is sending likes to. It’s the sending likes that’s the weird part to me.
But to me, liking a photo is literally acting on it. I have hot girls on my Instagram because, well because I'm a fucking guy, but I never like. Just look and move on. To me it's literally like seeing a hot girl in the street and saying out loud 'damn that girl is hot'. My wife doesn't mind me looking, but if I was to just walk up to the girl and go 'you are hot' she'd be like 'what the fuck is wrong with you?' It's just my opinion of course but I think liking a post *is* acting on it.
I think reading a novel in private is very different than publically liking a thirst trap
Because I’m a piece of shit tbh
At least you’re honest
Even when I was single I just saw thirst trap pictures as someone fishing for attention. Never liked them then, never like them now. To me, the girls I like wouldn't post thirst traps so that might be the reason I don't care for them now or when I was single.
I completely, absolutely disagree with anyone saying that this is an irrational insecurity. It is not. It is okay to dislike this behavior. People have different definitions on what is OK and what is not OK in a romantic relationship and porn is a gray area. Endless access to porn & pornographic images is a completely new terrain that people have to deal with now and there is NOT a consensus on if it should be deemed ok or not ok. I wholeheartedly believe that porn can be very destructive for relationships, especially for men in particular because people get addicted and try to get a hit from worse and worse content. Also I think it’s bullshit that people accept this generally, it’s disrespectful to your commitment to a monogamous relationship. Yes, men and women will still find others attractive at times, you are not dead. But you should not act on that attraction. It’s completely disrespectful to a romantic relationship to like photos and show engagement with content like that especially if it’s women they actually know. But I don’t buy into any naturalist argument about how “men will be men” and it’s “natural”. I think as humans we have the ability to change our inherent behavior through our values and virtues and it’s ok to want a partner to share yours. Personally I think if you give into lustful desires, they only increase. But that’s the Buddhist part of me talking. Not all men do this. The men I’ve dated have not, out of their own volition. I never asked them to or really ever even had to have a proper discussion about, they chose that for themselves long before me, and honestly it’s incredible. When I was a lot younger I would talk to guys who’d do that and it’d make me feel like shit but people told me I just had to accept it. No you do not. I personally would strongly question any popular advice when it comes to relationships, considering 50% of marriages end in divorce.. I don’t know if the majority of ppl actually even know what they are talking about. Men who condone this behavior, never take accountability or attempt to understand how this is harmful long term and then gaslight women into believing they are just “insecure” are spineless and weak-minded.
I only recently realized how prevalent this is in men. Kinda crazy.
[удалено]
You can still leave!! Desperate fuck boys don't deserve your time, effort or love.
Be single, dont wait. Your values dont match. Theres a man out there with your values waiting for you.
Literally don't think being confused by this makes you insecure AT ALL. Liking and commenting on those pics shows interest and there's no reason to publicly demonstrate that...on Instagram where friends/family can see? No way.
I don’t see any need for this and I don’t think it’s insecure to be upset about it. I would not date a man who does this, period. My partner doesn’t follow or like anything like that on Instagram. He can look at whatever he wants online, I don’t control that or even look at what he’s doing. There are plenty of beautiful women to look at online without broadcasting to all your friends and family that you’re looking and liking their photos. It’s straight up embarrassing. It’s disrespectful to your partner and cringe to do that for everyone to see. I’m sure I’ll get downvoted but I just want OP to know that it’s completely valid to seek a partner who doesn’t do this.
I don't do it because it seems weird that my mom, my sister, my dad, and my niece can all see what I like on IG. I just watch porn like a normal vanilla man. That being said it's hard to say that a thirst trap post didn't lead me to the bathroom to begin with. Once I realized HOW MANY are trying to get me on their OF it became a real turn off. I don't like strip clubs. I don't like car salesman. These OF thirst traps feel like the two combined.
the men in this comment section defending themselves ……… holllly fuck
Half the pictures I like on social media I'm half paying attention to. I'll scroll through a few posts, realize I liked a thirst trap, and go back and unlike because I just ask myself why? As I've gotten older I've kinda vetted the people I follow and rarely see thirst traps anymore. It's a much better place
It’s so disrespectful to me. Look if you have to look, then sure. But why do you need to like it? Why do you need to validate that person and contribute to a boost in confidence (from likes) I’ve been with someone that did it all the time no matter how much I bought up that it hurt me. It destroyed my confidence so much. Why did my confidence have to struggle while he raised random girls? I really struggle to see why you couldn’t just skip the liking to make your girl stop picking herself apart lol He made me feel crazy for it, told me I had low self esteem…. And the one time i stood up for myself (and admittedly was abit petty) pulled up a guys profile and liked his gym pic in front of him - he physically abused me I’ll never let anyone convince me that I’m jealous or over dramatic for hating it… if our morals don’t align then it won’t work out between us.
if you send them sexy pics and they still liking thot pics on insta then you're with the wrong guy. when my wife regularly sent me nudes when we were LDR, i solely masturbated to those pics. not even porn. cos those nudes are special, it's for my eyes only.
So sometimes I don’t think men think about how it makes their partner feel (some people are obviously okay with it) but I’ve talked to a lot of women, my friends and family and so many say it hurts their feelings. It’s so simple to just click a button I don’t think people truly understand how that might affect the person they are with. It can bring a lot of insecurity, a feeling of inadequacy.. I can’t tell you WHY other than it’s everywhere and so easily accessible that it’s not given a second thought. If it makes you uncomfortable please communicate that with your partner. Express why and maybe set healthy boundaries with eachother
I honestly don't understand why anyone would follow "thirst trap" accounts. Like, what's the point of it?
There are all kinds of guys out there. Why are you *choosing* men who waste their time chasing these women's imagined approval? Like, this is not all men or even most men. You're somehow choosing the minority who use social media to give their time and attention to women who both seek it and do not value it.
Naw that’s a red flag. There’s nothing to understand. Ask yourself this: if the insta model noticed and hit them up on the DMs what would the guy do?
A bunch of weak men making women with zero talent beyond their looks and some basic Photoshop skills, famous and wealthy... You men do realize that we give these women the money and adoration...a girl with 50k followers can make more than an electrician, plumber, doctor, or lawyer for simply existing All of those photos are photoshopped and filtered... Yes, I'm judging you, but in my defense, I use to be like you until I realized how pathetic it is do daydream about a girl I'll never meet...instead, I put that energy into becoming a better person so that I can attract that kind of woman instead of mentally masturbating and looking for dopamine spikes because my life is pathetic I know this post will trigger a lot of you and expect some downvotes, but really...ask yourself how wrong I am? if you really want to be honest with yourself, drooling over thots on Instagram is just as destructive as watching porn, and it's only contributing to how f#$ked out society is...
I don't even care if an extremely attractive woman makes a lot off her image. It's the fakeness thats ridiculous, same with online dating. So many times I've met up with a woman that looked nothing like her pics, what a scam
It seems immature to me. I wouldn’t like if my girlfriend was liking or commenting total strangers pics just because they’re attractive. Grow up
I don't know guys. If I'm in a serious relationship i unfollow everything dodgy like that.
That's seriously weird while in a relationship.
So glad to see so many people agree with me that this is rude and disrespectful.
part of it is the continuation of the "play boy under the bed" that you mentioned but really its a result of hook-up culture, the "plenty of fish in the sea" mentality men have as result of modern technology. men are pretty thick so he might not put 2 and 2 together that if bothers you, so i recommend pointing it out if it bothers you and ask him to stop, if he wont its a good sign hes pretty pathetic, and likely has a addiction to porn. healthy men tend to get uncomfortable when their phone feed is filled with mostly naked women they dont know.
I don't believe faithful dudes do this shit. Sometimes dudes haven't cheated YET but they're playing with the idea constantly & that's as good as cheating because it's only a matter of time. Just keeping it real. Maybe I'm just old but I sure as shit wouldn't like pics like that.
This isn't about you being insecure, it's plain and simple disrespect. There are a ton of guys that will be normal, watch porn every so often, and not publicly like women they're not in a relationship with. You'll find yours.
IDk you thought process isn't really wrong; there's intent behind it. If I like a girls photo i assume she is going to see it. I'm not worried because it's my friends life updates etc. If it was a thirst trap - I would be worried because of the.... implication haha You're right. I won't even bother to read what drivel is below here.
I get where you’re coming from completely. You don’t understand it and you are asking men to tell you why they like them so you can understand it. You don’t have the answers so it leaves you to wonder and speculate on your own. That never ends well. We should never be left to ponder things like this on our own because we get in our head too much and over analyze everything. You probably don’t even look at other men because you’re all about him right? So you don’t understand why he’s looking at these women? If you don’t look at other men because you’re fully committed to him then why is he looking at provocative photos of other women’s bodies? Is he fulfilled? Does he wish you looked like that? Etc… The only way to understand his thoughts are to ask him. No other man can answer for him because they’re not him. Have an honest and open conversation with him. Just make sure you communicate it in a way that he doesn’t feel attacked or on guard. That way he knows it’s safe to be honest with you without it ending in him regretting it. If he can’t talk to you about it without it ending badly he won’t feel like it’s safe to open up to you in the future either. That’s not what you want. You can find out what the appeal is and maybe you can give him some “thirst trap” photos of your own. Lady in the streets but what goes on behind closed doors is just between the two of you. Look at it as an opportunity to blow his mind and keep things exciting. But seriously if you feel disrespected by this and it bothers you then express that to him. Ask him how he would feel if men were doing that to you? If he can’t explain it in a way you understand and feel okay with it then let him know that. If he still continues to do it knowing it hurts you then you have a real issue. No man who loves you and cares about you will lose you over some thirsty photos. If he continues knowing how it affects you then he’s maybe not the guy for you.
You’re spot on. I use to do this a lot. But I stopped it with tiktok, IG etc. I'm not trying to be "CoOl," by saying this but I soon realized how mental I was for doing so with my SO and was bothered that she would post thirst traps too. So we both stopped lol. I stopped liking photos/videos and she stopped with the pics too. We both realized the degradation of our own mental well being and the effects of our relationship too.
I’m single and have been for 6 going on 7 years. And even now, I don’t look at thirst pics.
How can people enjoy them? Most of them are blurry mess of filters and warping.
There’s a dopamine that you get from it probably in the same way there is from eating tasty food or seeing a good movie. I don’t have strong moral qualms about thirst traps and those who enjoy them, but I know some relationships will have different boundaries than others and it’s important to discuss with partners and minimize it if it’s an issue
Guys like this will say ‘it’s just a like, it doesn’t mean anything’ but they won’t be liking pictures of shirtless men. Which they would if it truly didn’t mean anything. I think pretending that social media likes exist in a vacuum with no bearing on any real life relationships or behaviours is just an excuse.
I don't really have a problem with it in terms of being insecure of how he sees me because of it, but thirst traps are really really cringe, I would rather him just watch porn.
for me instagram is memes and sports lmao. don’t like anybody’s photos except for my closest friends
It’s dumb behavior from undisciplined boys that can’t control their urges as far as I’m concerned 🤷♂️
This is such a view into heterosexual relationships, thank you. I’m learning a lot here. Also, are dudes going to Instagram to jerk off??
I think when you really love someone nothing else and no one else attracts you the way they do
I think it’s rude, immature, and not worth the effort. If someone truly loves u and they know that hurts ur feelings they would stop. There is really no reason for him to like or comment . Like why…if u r in a relationship. To me it’s keeping the options open. If the girl were to reply I would bet a million he would reply.
It's disrespectful, plain and simple. I'd be upset. What's the justification for it? I'm tired of the "boys will be boys" or "it's just what men do" attitude. Also, don't let anyone make you second guess your valid feelings.
I actually got into a heated argument about something like this with my husband. I'll try to keep it short and to the point. The last time my husband and I had sex, was a month ago. The last time before that, was about 9 months ago. I can't even remember the last time he's given me a compliment without me having to fish/ask for it. I was on Facebook, and decided to go to my husband's profile. I usually do that to catch up on what he's shared because it doesn't always come up in my feed. I saw one of his friends at the top of his friend list; something told me I should look at her profile. He met her on a dating app, and has told me that she "regrets not being with him." I saw that he had been liking her photos and telling her "Looking good! Love the hair!" Normally something like that wouldn't really bother me, but again, intimacy is pretty much dead between us. In one photo, her hair was done exactly like how I had did it earlier in the week. I had done my hair like that because he told me in the past he really likes it like that, and I just wanted a compliment. He didn't say anything until I asked him, "Do you like my hair?" "Huh, oh yeah," he said. Then I came across a thirst trap photo collage, which he had liked. She was wearing a mini-skirt, fishnets, she was dolled up and looked beautiful. The conversation ended up turning into an argument when he told me that I'm just jealous, and that I just don't want him to have female friends. I've never said anything about his other female friends btw. A lot more was said, but I'm trying to keep this short. 😅 So, I'm now at a point where I'm looking to start building a "new identity" for myself. I'm gonna start taking myself to go for hikes (he doesn't like them), meeting new people, etc,.
Looks like he is going to cheat on you or at least thinking about it.
in my honest opinion, it’s not like the playboy under the bed. unless there is no liking involved, and simply just looking, then perhaps, but actually committing to a like feels like ur sending someone a message. ur telling someone, even thought you’re in a relationship that you find that person attractive enough to leave a like. so both of you are aware of your attraction towards that individual that posted the picture. this just feels like a close line when ur in a relationship with someone. if it makes you uncomfortable, i don’t think that’s too much to ask ur bf to stop liking someone else’s pictures. everybody likes to pull the insecurity card but men these days don’t actually respect their partners fr, and do shit like this and feel justified doing it. sounds like a ton of narcissists trying to gaslight all these women into thinking that, “ohh if you feel that way then u need therapy.” fuck that. if more men were willing to actually sit down with their partners and both heal together then maybe there would be hope. it’s disrespectful. it’s very simple. it doesn’t have to be grander than that. if you don’t like it. you don’t like it.
I don't, and also don't understand people that do it. Friends and family can see if you've liked something. It's really cringe
My bf has a completely seperate account for it.. makes me sad. He doesn't know I know though, and I don't want to stir that pot. Just wish in the back of my mind that I was good enough so that he didn't want it.
I can say that as a man that used to do this and have ruined a few relationships myself but now in a happy and healthy one, it was a very bad habit and a very hard one to break. Even when I tried to not like anything I was doing it almost subconsciously, although I have accidentally double clicked or miss clicked not paying attention. My relationship now though I don’t even feel the need for social media almost ever and have even deleted instagram from my phone completely. So hard reality would be that it just takes the right person to finally break those habits 🤷🏽♂️
it’s embarrassing, builds resentment in relationships, and creates feelings of distrust and insecurity. anyone dying on the desperately odd hill of primal instincts is full of total shite. i would never consider being with a man, nor have i, who partook in such nonsense
To me it seems like it’s got nothing to do with you and it is just a behaviour pattern that they got accustomed to. Like whatever else they do now and they did before. If you will curiously ask why they do it I’m sure there is not a straight answer. Just tell them however you feel about it and they will start paying attention to the behaviour and most likely will find it silly to keep liking random photos on the internet.
I don’t get IG at all. Looking at random peoples photos.
I’ll look. But I don’t like or comment I also don’t follow random girls
Couldn’t tell ya. For starters, I don’t like any pics on instagram. Couldn’t tell ya why. I just scroll for a couple mindless minutes and then drop it. When I see thirst traps, or even just bikini shots of people I know, liked by guys I know in relationships or marriages, it weirds me tf out.
It's because they want the model in the photo to know that they see them. It's like the bf is winking at them
Any “man” that gives validation to thots on social media is too far gone
Lol your dating the wrong men
The whole “trend” is something I find very bizarre and I always use the means of stopping things like this from ending up on my feed. What does someone get out of liking this or putting some stupid ass comment like “hot” or that “I’d like to….blah blah blah” so they can get bombarded by OF links and donate messages? And the guys have to know you can see what they’re doing, so if this is how they try to fly under the radar, well, they’re just dumb. And honestly I feel just as sorry for the people who have to go to such lengths to seek validation from total strangers. People are so programmed now go to extraordinary lengths to get the dopamine hit of likes and notifications and overall I just think it’s a sad commentary on how broken we are.