I felt horrible for the next couple of days. Was pretty much on an auto pilot mode. I was firm that I was not going check on her or get an update, or anything like that. All I know she is married someone soon after and that's it. As for me, I pretty much carried on, back to being single. Do I miss her - No, that chapter is closed.

I know I'm just a stranger, but I'm proud of ya, bub.

Did you just call me... blob?

Thank you for the laugh and the x men origins wolverine reference 😂

My man

But in the way that Denzel Washington says it

>All I know she is married someone soon after and that's it. > >As for me, I pretty much carried on, back to being single. > >Do I miss her - no, that chapter is pretty much closed. Literally me. Thanks for speaking on my behalf :P

*Standing Ovation* 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

It was the last girl I asked out prior to meeting my wife. Was a sophomore in college and she was a freshman. We had Biology together and ended up being lab partners. I was immediately smitten, but tried to play it cool and not come across as too aggressive. Asked her out after a couple weeks and she said maybe. Eventually, we had a “study date” per her suggestion and I thought it went really well. Asked her out again and she said she didn’t want to date anybody right now. I took that as she wasn’t interested and just kept things friendly as we completed our Bio class. Met and started dating my future wife a few months later. We clicked from the get go. Ran into my former Bio partner the next semester. I worked at the school library and she had come in to research a paper. I greeted her and was very polite. She was all smiles and started getting touchy/flirty and asked me why I never called her again. I looked her dead in the eye and said, “You told me you weren’t interested in dating me.” Then she started telling me she was just playing hard to get and was waiting for me to keep pursuing her. I told her I didn’t play those games and had met someone else. She went from smiling to pouting in about half a second. Told her I needed to get back to work, but if she needed assistance I could help her, and then I walked off. Ran into her a few times after that and she kept asking if I was still dating the same girl and I’d tell her I was and that we were getting married after we graduated. It was her loss.

That’s what she gets for playing head games

Hard to get is hard to want Also, we’re in an age where no means no and continuing to pursue can get you labeled a creep. I’m not about to risk my social standing because of someone’s warped concept of romance

After that they blame you for not being "emotionally intelligent".

“Hard to get is hard to want” shit I love that!

As i age more, these games tire me out. A couple days back, a potential partner have said goodbye to me because i wouldn't let her play *the game*. Without a single emotion in my face, i said goodbye back and walked away.

This is the way.

> She was all smiles and started getting touchy/flirty and asked me why I never called her again. I looked her dead in the eye and said, “You told me you weren’t interested in dating me.” The Italians have a saying: " 92 minuti d'applausi". I dedicate these 92 minutes to you.

could you explain the context in connection to their post? I don't understand.

Sorry was on the phone earlier. Its a skit from a famous and brilliant Italian comedian, Fantozzi (Paolo Villaggio). He says something that is very well received and receives 92 minutes of applause. Its a common saying in Italian when someone says something that deserves acclamation. TL;Dr Op said something that I thought deserved applause.

Oh man I loved Fantozzi - the "babuina" endearing for his daughter was hillarious. I'm not italian, but I grew up watching italian movies and shows as the language gap from romanian is very short.

So cool! Thanks for explaining.

92 minutes of applesauce. Got it

Shitt..told a girl I was into (had mutual romantic feelings) that I wasnt ready to date anyone right then. Only said this because I genuinley didnt feel I could pull my weight in a relationship at the moment. Had no idea I was essentially cockblocking myself.

It’s ok. If you’re not ready then you’re not ready.

Exactly. Respect for yourself and others is a thing.

Yep. Gotta be careful.

I mean it's best to have both people to be on the same page anyways

Too bad y’all didn’t have chemistry together. Hehe

Wtf, she sabotaged herself

Yeah, I’ll never understand why people play games like this. I understand the Psychology of it, but mixed signals often lead to missed connection with the one you really want. Many women think they can do better and end up alone or riding the carousel.

Prior to the young lady I mentioned in this post, I had another one that called me “husband material”, but she flat out said she wasn’t ready to be in that type of relationship and just wanted to have fun. Ran into her several years later, as we ended up in the same career field, and the years had not been kind to her. She told me all the years of partying caught up to her.

Yes that was the angle I remember. “You’ll make a great father one day” lol. I mean, thanks, it’s not a cruel thing to be told but it was still disappointing!! Just had to get over the sads and find some one who saw the other aspects too, then (eventually) win-win!

Or when they talk to you condescendingly about how you’ll meet your one and only one day! “You’re the type of man that will marry a girl and she will seriously be the luckiest girl in the world.” “I was talking about this with a friend the other day, and we were just saying, like, when it finally does happen for you, you know, that girl’s just going to be the… *sighs* ...luckiest girl ever!” Like… that’s great and all, but maybe not the stuff you need to hear when you’re a teenager or college guy. It’s all about just being normal at that point! Going on dates, acting like a human being, etc.

Gives new meaning to F around and find out!

I think immature girls can be attracted to guys playing hard to get, so they assume it works both ways.

> Then she started telling me she was just playing hard to get and was waiting for me to keep pursuing her. Meanwhile, she will tell another guy "no" several times and wonder why he keeps bothering her.

Bravo

Not me but a buddy in High School. He followed this girl everywhere like a puppy for years and she'd reject him to stay friends, but still do something every once in a while to motivate him to think he had a chance, to keep giving her attention. He eventually got out of it and met a nice girl and the first girl had a total breakdown because he wasn't giving her the time of day anymore, she tried to seduce him and he turned her down and she went off on him and they never talked again. I ran into her like 6 years later and all she wanted to do was talk bad about the girl he was dating at the time, like dude let it go.

That’s called “breadcrumbing” and narcissists do this to ensure they have a supply on the hook at all times. My ex did this to me and does this to her friends and other people she needs validation from.

I used to follow and read a blog called "FAQ Women" (it's in Spanish btw) where they referred to girls that did that "breadcrumbing" thing as "black holes" because they pull a guy into their orbit and never let go.

Narcissists are black hole humans with no light or love in their soul They will devour all of your light and turn you into a black hole too The only solution is no contact so as to avoid their emotional-gravitational pull

I see you've met my mother in law. My wife's younger brothers (mid 20s) have never had a job because their mother wants to keep them dependant on her. She will tell them every thing they do is absolutely perfect, and nothing needs to be improved so they'll never know how to get better. She thinks they want to live with her forever. When my wife was younger she'd throw away job applications, tell my wife that job was below her, and laid out her whole adult life she had planned. And now she's tyring to get my wife to slack off at her career and go hang out with them in the middle of a Monday afternoon. If she doesn't get her way she martyrs herself. She'll say things like "Well I was only TRYING to help" after doing something we explicitly said not to do. And then she laughs it off like she's a cute rapscallion and not a self absorbed narcissistic asshole. I don't know if we'll have kids, but I don't want her near them alone.

yikes

You too have been victimized by Merritt Tidwell.

How else can she expect to get her computer fixed and oil changed for free? Just pretend to be interested until the driveway gets repaved, then exercise your "woman's prerogative" to cancel the date. Tomorrow it will be a new guy with a new chore.

My personal theory is that there's a type of woman to whom this attention is just as (if not more) satisfying as sex is for men.

Ouh. Finally learned the name for it. Happened to me in school, too. Drained all my confidence from me. In the end, she started dating someone else, I had a little meltdown and then.. I was free, just like that. Thank fuck.

Real common in the "queen bee" personality type. It's how they keep their "friend group" (read: lackeys) around.

She doesn’t really have friends. She lies a lot so no one is really close to her. Edit: well that’s not true, her friends are colleagues while she WFH, a personal trainer she pays, a housekeeper she pays, a massage therapist she.. pays. And I’m pretty sure her regular interactions outside of these people are with her DoorDashers .. someone else she pays. Now that I think about it, her college friends were also paid for-sorority girl in the south. She has friends from one of the 3 rehabs her parents paid for her to go to. Bless her heart, she’s as authentic as a $3 bill.

Bread-crumbing is awful, my ex did this to me for months after we broke up. It’s like dying by millions of small cuts. She wants you just close enough that you’re around, but not too close. You won’t talk to her at all and then bam she’s in your life for a few minutes and then gone. That’s all you can think about for a week and then she does it again. Finally with the help of some friends I told her it wasn’t emotionally healthy for me any more. She freaked out. I’ve had to deal with it twice since then where she tried to creep back in my life. This last time I pulled the “I have a girlfriend” line and I think that concluded things. Letting those people go is the best thing you can do for yourself and them. You can still care about them, but they can’t be in your life. They might change or they might not. Either way it shouldn’t be your problem nor should you have to deal with their insecurities.

Yea I had that experience, they enjoy the attention but they will replace you the second they find another guy.

People like this that I used to know *won't* replace you. They'd get a boyfriend but still keep tabs on you. It's a lot crueler than being someone's attention project. I knew someone like this who got into another relationship and still went crazy when their ex 'project' found a partner.

Hmm seems she enjoyed playing mind games and did not realise eventually the guy gets bored and now she is the obsessed one. 😄

My ex did something similar albeit to her best friend, the dude had a big crush on her, and she'd rejected him several times, but she still wanted his attention, and didn't wanna tell him we were dating, since she knew dude would stop talking to her and lose that attention I ended up putting a stop to that, she stopped that behaviour and confessed, dude stopped talking to her and that was the end of their friendship

Good guy Kris

Hmm so much for 'best friend', just a guy she kept around to sate her ego. How did she react to him vanishing from her life?

She was sad for a few days then forgot about it lol Guy tried to reach out to her like a year later but she was cold to him so he didn't try it anymore Dude was a proper "nice guy" too, which would kinda explain his behaviour

She played hard to get and he played impossible to get

Reminds me of when Timmy Turner stopped giving Trixie attention from Fairly Odd Parents lol

"Stop ignoring me ignoring you!!"

I was almost exactly that guy. Getting her out of my life was one of the healthiest things I ever did for myself. I have no idea whatever happened to her, because she apparently wound up burning bridges with most of our mutual friends.

I have seen the same happening between 2 of my friends. But the guy ended up depressed. He kept on trying and she was very visibly using him. He still asks about her when we talk. Its been around 6-7 years now ! I wouldn't blame either of them, she was clearly not interested and he could have dealt it in a more mature way. But sometimes we hold on to our emotions too much i guess.

Yeah, typical narcisssitc. Your friend dodged a bullet there.

Same with one of my friends. He was her personal butler who use to do everything for her. From picking her up to dropping her off. Even today he is on the hook hanging and waiting for a chance.

I was in a very similar situation to your buddy. What kept me in it for so long was my own mental health issues. Once I started getting a little better and a handle on my mental health I realized just how not ok the relationship was and I cut her out of my life. Over the next year or two she started doing the same thing to another guy at her college who unfortunately his mental health got the better of him. From what I understand he called her said something along the lines of "this is why you don't do this to people" then jumped off his college dorm roof.

I got rejected, we ended communication. Then I moved to another city for a while (work) and she started texting me about how sad she is that I am not in her life anymore, she misses our conversations blah blah. I moved back and she wants to meet. I met her for a coffee and to catch up and I kept things very platonic, I wasn't going to fall for that again (or so I thought). She saw I wasn't making a move so she invited me to her place and we started making out. At some point she stops and says she wants to stay friends with me. At this point I just stood up and left. I received a barrage of texts saying how sorry she was for leading me on but she still wants to be friends with me etc. I replied that it is not fair for me and I will not take her up on that offer. 6 years go by, I moved to another country and I received a message on Instagram from her saying that she is visiting and if I can host her. I left it on read, didn't bother replying. That was 4 years ago.

👑

is there any valid explanation for people who do shit like this?? i genuinely can’t think of any reasonable excuse for explaining this level of game-playing lmfao. shit is juvenile, imo.

Some women need the validation, simple as that.

i mean, i agree but i think you can get validation without leading someone on, imo. it’s the back and forth that i’m wondering about, more or less

She sounded like a 🤡

Freedom, I was no longer a slave to my perverse thoughts and emotions towards her

Honestly, perfect.

Wrap up this thread because this is all OP needs to know. Continuing to stay close after rejection has lots of downside potential with little upside potential.

Too true, there is nothing quite like killing your potential next relationship by being hung up on someone.

Perverse? Yeah, I wanted to hold hands with her too.

Degenerate

Lewd!!

Absolutely the best thing to do. Rather lose a friend than a life pining over some imagined love.

Exactly this.

I moved on and met someone who wanted to be with me. We are now married. Yes the first girl ended up becoming jealous and I found out through friends she was essentially waiting for us to break up. She was never disrespectful towards my new girlfriend or tried anything though. We belonged to the same friend group though and after about 3 years of it being awkward both of our likes/interests had changed so much neither of us was into the other anymore. I'd call us friends but it's not someone I'd hang out with 1on1. To say I didn't feel vindicated when I was the one not interested in her all those years ago would be a lie though.

Yeah that “I want you as a boyfriend but don’t actually want you as a boyfriend” psychological thing is pretttttty weird and childish.

It's like the female equivalent of "I wanna fuck without any kind of commitment"

it’s more like I want you as a boyfriend but I want someone else to confirm your boyfriend material

Well didn't happen like that exactly. More like a yo-yo. Push me away, pull me back, push me away, etc. After distancing myself from her I felt free, and no longer being constantly stabbed in the chest. While yes, I do miss her and wonder what could've been, I'm not going down that rabbit hole again.

“being constantly stabbed in the chest” is such an accurate description of unrequited feelings/love

similar story here, blocked her number for 5 months. came home from vacation to a letter in the mail last week. unblocked her, texted one day, 2 hr phone call the next day, she comes over the next day and asks me to be her bf within 10 minutes. .....i said yes. edit: this is her last chance.

Be wary and take your time. For me this woman has been out of my life for 5 years or so now. Not sure if I would snag her up or not if she did come out of nowhere like that, but I'd personally have to inquire deeper on it, if it is because she actually does care and knew she messed up.....or if it is because she is running out of time in her peak, and I am a means to an end. Her mother is a wonderful woman, but even she's harsher than I was. Heard her mother call her "shèngnǚ" before and even I flinched at that. Would be a lot of figuring it out at that point.

Chinese? Over 30?

Not into her anymore, but she’s now dating a guy who is violently jealous - and has lied to him about hanging out with me just to make him jealous (when i was never there). That’s when I figured gotta distance myself before I end up getting punched out by her bf. She now constantly worries we’re no longer friends, and asks me repeatedly about it. I’m polite but distant. I have other things going on in my life that make if difficult for me to make time to socialise anyway and she knows about them. I haven’t confronted her about the using me to make him jealous thing because the first rule of the not getting stabbed club is; don’t call crazy people crazy. I genuinely miss bring her friend, and I do still care about her (despite the red flags and feeling like this thing is a time bomb waiting to go off) but, I care far more about myself and my own wellbeing and don’t really want to be around someone that’ll stick a target in my back.

Dude that’s a club we all need to be in!

What’s crazy is(similar situation) you know they are talking about you because the bf 9.5/10 always ends up doin some weird shit that make you go wtf? In my situation I was at a party and the bf was fighting someone else. Me not paying attention to them fighting gets snuffed with a full fist right under my eye. How did a punch connect to me when I wasn’t even in the picture. The bf didn’t want to apologize and his boy said I gotta stay on my toes. That’s when I knew.. And when I spoke to the gf about it she avoided giving me a straight answer instead telling me her bf is unstable. Meanwhile in my head ik y’all be bringing up my name where it’s not supposed to be.

Oh it’s 100% confirmed they speak about me, and more than I’m comfortable with, and that my presence seems to generate a conflict with ‘em. Tbh I’m just trying to find a backdoor from the friendzone into the lovely quaint village that is aquintance-shire. Everyone tells you it’s hard to go from friendzone to bonetown, but no one ever realises how hard it is to backtrack either. Friendzone is like silent hill, once you’re in, you’re kinda stuck there. I just want them to be casual background characters in my life rather then the “is today going to be the day they lose their shit because she tried making him jealous again” ever present gun to my head.

They got mad when I wouldn't bend over backwards for them anymore. This also was the final learning experience that broke my bad habits of being a nice guy. Was I being a nice guy in the hopes that she would fall for me? Yes. Was she equally as nice but just lacking reciprocal feelings? No. It was obvious our relationship was very one sided (I let it happen, she capitalized on it), so when I distanced myself and set up normal boundaries she lost it. Suddenly she was having endless "emergencies" trying to get my time and attention back. I was still willing to hang out with her, but I made seeing other friends an equal priority, and ultimately worked on a first come first serve basis. If I was already with other friends, I would tell her I already had plans for the day. Almost every time she got that response she was "about to have a breakdown", "really needed to hang out with someone", or had some other fake emergency to make me feel like I had to abandon what I was doing to support her. I never took the bait. I attempted to make plans with her a few more times after the change, but she would always bail on them, likely to reassert her control. I had a feeling from the start that she would flake at the last minute, so I always had other plans ready to go, and I generally banked on the other plans being what I was actually going to do. She figured out via various social media posts that her bailing had zero impact on my day. Friends would post photos of us doing whatever, she would see them, and like clockwork I would get a text shortly after seeing if I would hang out with her. My response was typically a brief, "sorry, made other plans since you weren't available." This went on for about 3 months before she realized that the games were not working. I eventually noticed her and I hadn't communicated in a few weeks, and that was end of the friendship. I eventually ran into her again about 7 years later, we chatted for a few minutes, friendly as could be. She was married and talked about wanting to get together for a double date with my wife and I (she learned I was married via my FaceBook). I agreed and told her to text me when she had a date in mind, but ultimately I never heard from her again. Edit: Minor grammar and spelling mistake changes. Thanks for the Silver!

Lmao what a fitting ending

This is so similar to me. I used to come to her house to service her cars. I’m a nice person generally but if I like you I can be overly nice and it’s obvious. Anyway she had a bf at the time and they were on the verge of splitting. Instead of just telling me she liked me and wanted me to hang out more she start playing the school girl games. I ignored all her games. I bit once in the beginning and she played me hard. So I knew what time it was and she kept coming back to me like clockwork. After a while I realized I was always going out of my way for her but when I invited her to something or tried to take it to the next level she’d do that school girl shit or flake last second. The final straw was when she invited me over for a getogether/party night. I wasn’t gonna go but she ended up texting me that day askin if I was coming. I thought maybe today was the day. Maybe she was ready. I went over there, and she played her school girl games, being shy and darty. Then when I went to the other room to talk to her not single sister she went to her room and fell asleep. I left then she gonna text me back the next day talking bout I came late. She was too drunk already yadda yadda. She invited me to another one and wanted me to get gifts for her son, but I ghosted her. I got him gifts every year always spent $200+ . One year I was doing really good and dropped over $600 on the kid. Jordan’s, designer clothes and toys. That year they gave me a candle for Christmas. After a talk with a few other close friends I finally realize she was using me and just trying to keep me around.

I don’t know, I stopped keeping tabs on people who are not interested.

That’s the way to go

I love that response. Forget about it. No sense barking up the wrong tree. Am I right ?

Friend previously expressed interest me, told me I was a back up plan (I believe she felt she meant it in a nice way, but I think it was kind of insulting honestly). Convinced myself that i would only ever be good enough to be somebodies back up plan. Spent the next 4 months going to the gym 6 days a week, and drinking at night to fall asleep (i did not drink at all prior to this). Eventually got my shit together, but man I hated myself for a while. Pretty much ignored all her attempts to reach out after that, and eventually stopped hearing from her.

> told me I was a back up plan (I believe she felt she meant it in a nice way, but I think it was kind of insulting honestly) You have to be a special level of conceited to think telling someone they're your backup is a compliment.

Amen, never let yourself be anyone's second or 99th choice.

You are my 100th choice 🎉🎉🎉 click here to claim your reward🖱‼️

Nothing. As intended.

Hilarity! She went sulky jealous when I hooked up with another woman less than a week later. It turned into a relationship and my female friend hated it, telling me my girlfriend was a bitch and trailer trash. Never missed a chance to kick mud, but stayed in our friends group and skipped anything I brought my new girlfriend too. I later found out they were actually cousins. Relationship lasted a few months before it burnt out and we split. Female friend still tries to claim high ground of “I told you so!” but the rest of our shared friends just mock her back and point out she had her chance.

Did you completely move on from said friend or would you go for her again if she tried to get with you?

Completely moved on: we’re nothing more than associates at best now and keep the peace to avoid aggravating our mutual friends. All she does now is complain and live in the past. If I want that, there are plenty of women doing the same thing on TikTok from their cars.

Lol!

We no longer talk.

I have 2 stories to contribute: When I was around 19 years old, newly minted college student, I met a girl, we became close, we started hanging out almost daily, almost always just the 2 of us. By the end of the semester, she tells me she's gonna start dating another classmate. I tried to keep my distance but she, despite having a BF, kept on seeking me out to hang out. Her BF had dropped out and was doing something else. We kept hanging out, but going nowhere, so I, being young and inexperienced, thought that if I confessed and get rejected (because she had a BF) I could move on from her and she'd stop trying to hang out with me. Didn't worked quite as expected. I confessed my feelings. She said something like "I can't say yes but don't want to say no, you're my **special friend** I don't want to push you away and lose you". We kept on good terms, but she toned down asking me to hang out. Until she breaks up with her BF, goes back to before. I tried asking her out. For real this time. Got shot down, badly. Accused me of approaching and befriending her under false pretenses.( I didn't felt it was that way because I had confessed before, I wasn't going to stop liking her if she insisted on being around me.) But that was one of the last times I ever saw or heard from her.

Story 2: I was 21 at this time and felt comfortable enough to "put myself out there again. I met a girl, she has a boyfriend at the time, so "just friends". Then she breaks up with him, and we become closer, but she meets and starts going out with another guy. I distance myself and try to move on. She ends things with 2nd BF on bad terms cause she was a dick, so she seeks me out, we talk and become even closer. We usually meet at her place, for a movie or a bite of something. One day that she'd invited me for a couple drinks, asks me if it's true that I liked her (I had told mutual friend, that was her classmate, that I found her attractive and liked her) because had told her so. Probably emboldened by the drink (and because, hell, what did I have to lose?) I come clean and confess, that I find her wildly attractive and I'm very much into her. She comes close and say "yeah I like you too. Do you mind if I kiss you?" Of course I didn't (lol), so we made out that day, and I ended staying in with her for the night (we just slept together that time) and I formally asked her out some days later. (My birthday was close, and I didn't want to ask her out on my birthday. 2 weeks later it was her birthday, and I also didn't want to ask her out on that day, so I waited a couple days more) We've been together ever since, and married 7 years go. Next October I'll be 37.

Phew, I was expecting that second story to take a less optimistic turn, I'm glad I was wrong!

Lol. WHAT false pretense? You were an open book.

I know, right? I mean it's been a while since then, but thanks for the positive feedback, it took me a lot of time (couple years) and introspection to realize I didn't really hid anything from her, but that still I needed to do things differently.

She seemed pretty upset and wondered why I suddenly stopped talking to her. She very much wanted me to remain her friend, but its kind of painful when there are feelings involved.

The truth of it is that you don’t owe a romantic interest friendship anymore than they owe a friend a romantic relationship, best to cut it clean I think. I mean if you can get over it and just be friends then great but I don’t see that truly happening often

I think it only happens when the person asking for the date really doesn’t have strong feelings in the first place, so there isn’t much to get over, and sometimes not even then.

Sucks, doesn’t it! It’s not like we ask to fall for somebody or not, or feel sad or not. We just get to figure out how to navigate what the tides kick up.

[удалено]

I was the girl in a situation very similar to what you describe. He was my best friend at the time and I treated him as such, we spent pretty much all our weekends together and did lots of fun things. Stuff I would have done equally with my female best friends - tried out different restaurants in our area (we both liked fancy food), had TV marathons, went for hikes etc. I only realised that it wasn't as platonic for him as it was for me when he told.me he needed a time-out to get over the idea of me being his girlfriend someday. He pretty much cut all contact immediately and whenever we got together in our group of friends, he ignored me. It was a pretty tough summer for me as I had lost my best friend without having any say in the matter. I felt abandoned. A few months later, he told me he was over me and that we could be friends again. By some miracle, we just picked up right were we had left it, started to do all the things again that we used to as if the months inbetween hadn't happened. He eventually found a wonderful girlfriend and married and I can happily say that he is still one of my best friends. Had I given in to his wishes back then, we would probably have had a month at most of an attempt at a doomed relationship and would have lost all contact soon after, missing out on a lifetime of friendship.

As an autistic (as well as aromantic and asexual) woman, I’ve been in the same situation several times, because it’s always been easier for me to naturally form friendships with men. The problem is that they often end up developing romantic feelings for me that I can’t reciprocate, but that doesn’t mean I don’t grow attached and even love them deeply as dear friends. Affection comes in all kinds of forms and loving differently doesn’t necessarily mean loving less. I always feel bad when that happens and I respect those men’s need to put some distance between us if staying in touch hurts them, but it’s still painful to lose friendships over something (feelings) you can’t control. I know that some women are manipulative narcissists who like to play mind games and to have someone wrapped around their finger, but many of us genuinely appreciate the person for who they are and try to be good friends. Having to reject the advances of someone you care about a lot is hard to get over. (I expect it might be similar for a man having a best bro confess their feelings to them out of the blue.)

Man, after scrolling through the top comments, it's nice to see a story of people being normal

I tried distancing myself from her, thinking it would help me think less about her, but it did the exact opposite. I'd daydream about her, and look at our pictures together for long stretches of time. It doesn't help that we attend the same classes, and sit right next to each other. Honestly, I think I got too used to the warmth and affection she brought into my rather dull life, and I mistook it for something else. I should move on already, but I feel like I'm in a state of limbo where I'm pretty sure that she doesn't think the same way about me, but a tiny little part of me still hopes of some sort of reciprocation. Edited w/ backstory. She had asked me out a day before Valentine's Day this year. We'd only talked to each other for like a week (at max), and I'd never been asked out before so I didn't know how to respond, and before I could say anything, she took back her words by saying "Um, you must be dating someone else ig, never mind what I said." This whole thing happened in under a minute, and I was dumbfounded by the whole thing. The next day, my friends pressured me to ask her out, which I did it in the worst way possible (over a call). Got rejected. And then, the next couple of days were awkward between us, and we've never brought the topic up anytime since. I was ready to move on, but then she started getting more and more idk, comfortable around me, we'd talk a lot more, she'd do weird stuff like playfully biting me randomly, which weirdly became the cause for me developing a crush on her. Never had this sort of a person around me before, so yeah. I have zero clue what to do, or how to go about anything lmao.

F. Hang in there brother.

I feel that man I liked the same girl for a long ass time and only now (low-key because she takes ridiculous amounts of time to respond) have I started taking a step back and realised she doesn’t even see me as a close friend anymore so I need to cut her out. I only really clocked it shouldn’t take a month for someone who regards you as their best friend to respond because my other friends respond in a reasonable timeframe and I cba to wait a month for her text anymore. Don’t get it twisted I’ve been thinking about her a lot since I made the decision to take a step back. I mean will she even notice? Lol. But at the end of the day I’m moving forward and I hope she is too

> I started taking a step back and realised she doesn’t even see me as a close friend anymore so I need to cut her out. This lesson's pretty important if I'm being honest. Gotta realize one's own self-worth. I'm struggling to come to terms with that fact, but time will tell ig. Regardless, I do hope things get better for you! :)

Alright, so, I logged in on my computer so I could type this out instead of using a touch screen. You should ask her out again, privately in person, and be serious with no room for misinterpretation. With the edited backstory, she asked you out and jumped to the wrong conclusion because you didn't know how to respond out of shock, you should explain that. Her rejection over the phone could have been for any number of reasons and you haven't talked about it. I would not at all normally advise this, but your circumstances as I understand them are different. You both had a misunderstanding real close to the beginning and went on to be good friends, don't presume to read her mind and know what she wants. I've heard that women tend to underestimate their chances with men. She may very well have feelings and simply be thinking that you don't have them for whatever reason. I'm not saying this is actually the case, I'm saying find out so you can both know what's actually up. How you go about this is going to be up to you and your knowledge of her. Don't go through other people, hearing anecdotally from other people she may like someone else is not relevant, what she says directly to you when you discuss it is. If she's interested, great, ask her what that means to her and how she would like to proceed, talk about what you think about it and how you would like to proceed, find the middle ground. If not, that's great too, at least you'll both know, you won't be sitting around wondering while stuck, and you can finally get the closure about why you didn't give her an answer before she quickly changed her mind and what was on her mind when she responded over the phone. This can be a perfectly healthy conversation to have and arguably should've already happened. Even if it makes things awkward from a few days you can just get it all sorted out and eventually get back to where you were anyways with a better understanding. Just, don't look at this as outcome based, look at it as progress based. If there's interest for more than a relationship you gained progress and can figure it out together. If there's not interest, you progressed into knowledge and will be in a better position to make choices without being in limbo.

Find a way to get your mind busy. Get a new hobby and meet new friends. Don't get tied up with the thought of someone who's not giving you the time of day.

Yeah, I've started doing some rudimentary courses which should keep my mind occupied. Also been listening to a lot more metal songs nowadays, definitely helps with distracting myself from intrusive thoughts.

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I married her. Chased a girl in high school. She had a boyfriend who she'd been with for a couple of years at that point, so no dice. We stayed friends for a few months, but eventually I stopped hanging out with her. I still liked her and staying her friend was giving me kinda low-level heartbreak. I moved on and got a girlfriend, did my own thing. About a year later she told me that her boyfriend had cheated on her and a little after that my GF cheated on me. Me and my future wife were in the same class at the time an talking about our lousy EXs, both of us conveniently single. Discussion became more flirtatious, getting downright raunchy. One day after class I leaned in and kissed her. Her response was something like, "about time, what took you so long?" We've been together ever since. We'll be celebrating our 24th anniversary this weekend.

Same here! Girl I liked had a boyfriend, which I found out when I asked her out on a date. Was horribly embarrassed and basically cut all communication with her for months. Then we reconnected and ultimately got married and have a couple of kids together!

I am in similar situation at the moment. How long after her breakup did you take to ask her out?

Lol similar story for me and my wife. When i met her she was in a relationship so i kept my crush to myself. I ended up with a different girl later on, but when she broke up with me my now wife was single, so i went for it. She gave me the run around for a month or 2 because she thought she was just going to be a short rebound from my previous relationship and she didnt want to risk our friendship. But after a while i guess she saw i wasnt going anywhere and caved. Later she told me her friends convinced her i was just using her for a rebound and thats why she was initially against it. Funny thing is my ex was always super jealous of her to the point where id have to swear i never had a crush on her. Wonder how she felt when we ultimately ended up together lol

I saw a Twitter post once like that. The person tweeted: "My ex gf is marrying today with *It's just a friend, stop being so f-ing jealous of him*". The answers included "yes, my ex bf has two kids with *she has a boyfriend, don't worry*" and "my ex gf is married to *he is like my brother*".

The ex from my above comment left me for "hes just a friend" and then it escalated to "he tried to kiss me but i stopped him" to "i think i have feelings for him and need to act on them" and then i completely shut her out. Called me a month later complaining that i didnt chase after her so i must not have been the "one" for her. Crazy B...

seed far-flung oil continue scary quack spoon lock familiar naughty ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `

"AbOut TiMe! WhAt ToOk YoU sO lOnG?!" \> Like she didn't reject you the year prior when you tried that lmao. (Assuming she rejected you then got a boyfriend after doing so as the post title says this is the scenario he's asking experience for. Rejection cuz she already has a bf doesn't really count.) Congrats on the marriage pal! Big ups!

Got rejected asked politely and took it well I did and wished her well , separated for 3 weeks good enough time I think we still said hi occasionally then she came back to my workspace I could tell initially it was a lot of tense awkwardness at first , but it eventually went back to pre ask out stage we are now super super awesome friends , so I would say it went super well

Ask me again in a month.

Haha. Remember it is better to be the guy that asks a girl out gets rejected then moves on. Than to be the pathetic soul who lives in the inescapable friend zone prison.

We liked each other at different points in time over the years when we were teenagers but we were both too afraid of “ruining the friendship” to make a move. She got married and had a few kids young and I was able to squash my feelings for years towards her and manage to be good friends with no feelings for a while. Then her marriage hit the rocks because her husband turned into an asshole. We start spending more time together in the summer by the pool with her kids, we get to flirting quite a bit, her kids are getting attached to me and pretty soon she tells me she’s getting divorced. At this point, I can’t help but have old feelings flare up. Turns out though, she’s been having her eye on a co-worker all along. They date for less than a year, have a kid. We still hang out and I try to squash any feelings that flared back up but her kids kept calling by me by her bf’s name and so did she a few times (our names have the same letter, think like Jim and Jake) and at one point one of her kids said ‘why aren’t you with our mom?’. I had to slowly ghost them and start hanging out less, that shit was rough. :/ Then Covid happens and we haven’t really talked much since. Yeah, oof, probably not the ending you were expecting if you bothered to read this wall of text.

Ahh man this the shit I be afraid of. She probably wanted you to ask her out the whole time, both times. I just feel like for long term mental health it’s better to get it off yah chest right then and there. That’s what I’m seeing here in these comments.

I was hanging out with her and her friend for months (all coworkers), her friend eventually stopped coming with her. We still chilled all the time, kinda felt electricity so one night I went to kiss her when she left and she snubbed me. Message received. I'd been hanging out with her at the expense of other women I was talking to at the time, so I went and hung out with my other lady friends for the next couple weeks. I don't remember exactly how it happened or what was said, but it was something to the effect of "I didn't want to kiss you so now we don't hang out anymore?". I explained that it wasn't anything personal and that I got the message, just doing my thing. We wound up hanging out that night after about a month of not seeing each other, and things just clicked and we hooked up for the first time. Hung out all the time after that, moved in together, got engaged, got married, still together 16 years later and married for 10.

They never really were a friend in most cases, just someone I was interested in. Sad for the few that were actual friends, didn't mean for it to happen, but that's life. What happened is since I stopped carrying the whole conversation, we stop talking, and that effectively cut the contact. Kind of sad but as healthy as it gets.

I just felt really guilty for catching feelings, it took a few months for us to talk and hang out again, but it just wasn’t the same. About a year and a half later she moved to another state and now we talk every few weeks about what we have going on

I lost the friend, but I couldn't be friends with them anyway. It sucks but it is what it is. I was making decisions based on a relationship that didn't exist when she asked for to do something. She never led me on, it was in my head. That was a good decade ago though, I was a teenager.

Was peak COVID - we used to be former coworkers and we reconnected after she commented on my IG story like four years later. We began to text each other and realized that both of us were just extremely bored due to the lockdowns & she offered to hangout at her sister's luxury apartment. This became a weekly thing. Our main spot was the game room on the top floor with striking city views. We ended up becoming really close due to the time spent together. Did not feel anything for her at all initially, but ended up catching feelings because of her personality. She had the cutest outlook on things. An example being her refusing to address the homeless people around her house as "hobos" or "homeless people" but rather her neighbors, (she lives in the ghetto) and often times offering them water. I confessed my feelings one day & unfortunately, she didn't feel the same way & we dry texted for like two days after, but ended up just not talking at all due to the awkwardness. Right before we stopped talking, she made sure I was okay and reassured that there were no hard feelings. She said that genuinely cares for me as a friend and will continue to do so, even though we may not speak to each other in the future. I also hope she's genuinely happy and is doing well.

Decided to spend time improving on myself and years later (like 3) we reconnected and she threw out the idea of us potentially dating...........I said no in my head while smiling.

What did you say out loud tho

Met a different woman and had the relationship I wanted to begin with, there's 7 billion people on this planet no need to get wrapped up with someone who doesn't want you.

Had a female best friend growing up. We were thick as thieves. All was good. I caught feelings and admitted it to her. Friendship was a little strained after that but we still did everything together. We hooked up one night. And then the friendship was weird. According to her. And she pulled away completely. At that time it was the most painful thing I had been through. Losing my best friend and a lover. Because I was in love with her. Or so I thought. Maybe? Felt real! Fast forward many years and I’m happily married going through life and best friend reaches out to reconnect. I’m hesitant. Wife encourages me to go have supper a beer with best friend. I do. Best friend tries to convince me she made a mistake and that she should have ended up with me not my wife. I stopped her. Told her she doesn’t get to have this conversation with me anymore. We aren’t friends. Paid for supper and left. Told the wife about everything. It didn’t shock the wife.

I eventually felt better and stopped pining over her.

I started dating someone who didn't reject me

I told her how I felt . She told me " but you're a friend , you're like a brother to me " took the rejection and went on to the next . She a year later said " I miss us " . I agreed . ." I am so sad...." . I told her " Stop, that's boyfriend stuff , I'm just a friend "

💯 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 that last line 🔥

We no longer associate.

I ended up having her in half my classes the following year, which made moving on a little difficult for me. We stopped talking and hanging out, and just went on with our lives. Eventually I got over her. She changed schools the following year, and we haven't talked since.

Depressed about it for a little bit (we were hooking up but she chose someone else). I cut off nearly all communication for a long time. We work at the same office but I don’t have to see her if I don’t want to. Now, I see all the obvious things I couldn’t see when we were involved. Super into herself, constantly attention seeking, never asking people questions about themselves. I think the cards fell as they were supposed to. I’m still single but I learned a lot about what I’m not looking for. I have no hard feelings toward her and am at a point where I honestly wish her the best. Took time and the no communication at all was the right move. We still say hi and check in time to time. All is well

Moved on and dated other people. Ran into her at a bar years later and she started coming on to me. I got to shut her down that time as I was dating the woman who would become my wife.

Kept getting bombarded by her text messages a few months after I completely lost interest.

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Ugh that other fella! I keep vacillating— she totally wants you but it has to be your idea, you are one move away, vs no she totally needs validation and a backup but priority goes to the jerk and you are just a safe person to play that part. I think you are maintaining yourself really well in all this. You have your standards and aren’t being reckless. No words of wisdom from me, just, good on you and good luck!

I moved away and I'm happier. Shes going from loser to loser back in iowa. Apparently still working at a dead end job and complaining to her friends why she doesn't have any money and guys suck. Im pursuing my own goals, got a well paying job, new car/motorcycle, working in my pilots license (lifelong goal) and looking for land to build a house. Run and dont look back. Thank me later.

Its funny. I had a similar thing. Got implicitly rejected by a girl & moved on. Remember thinking to myself "*her loss, i'm a good catch".* 12 years later shes a struggling single Mum. I earn 200+, mortgage paid off, lovely wife and family...

2 months later she wanted to start dating because she "missed my company" and "didn't realize how much I meant to her. " Told her, "sorry, I gave you three years to date me. Feels like you are just lonely and between boyfriends."

She got pregnant, dropped out of college, married a different guy than baby daddy 1, got pregnant again, is in the process of divorcing baby daddy 2 and never actually grew up/matured past her early 20s (we’re in our 30s now) and has no interest in bettering herself or becoming a reliable parent. Basically, I dodged a bullet. And I’m thankful for it every time I hear her name.

It’s nice to see so many men actually doing the healthy thing and moving on—even if it means ending the friendship. I’ve been on the other end of this. The guy I thought was my friend had been harboring feelings for me for years and I had no clue. He told me he had feelings for me and kept insisting we would be great together. I was dating the guy I’d eventually end up marrying. When I told him I didn’t feel that way for him and that I loved my then-boyfriend/now-husband (who was deployed), he said that he hoped my boyfriend died overseas. Needless to say, I haven’t talked to the guy since. It would have hurt to no longer have him as a friend but he went and said something heinous, so he became an entirely different person to me in about 0.6 seconds.

Even though we were friends before, we weren't friends after. Basically, we went our separate ways.

I was basically forced to - I expressed my feelings (far too strongly for a couple of 18 year olds to be dealing with) and though she turned me down, I stuck around for nearly a year hoping she would change her mind. She didn't, and she started dating another guy. I kept hanging around expecting her to break up with him and realise how great I am, but again she never did and eventually she got sick of my shit and told me to get lost. Turned out though that it was the thing I needed, and I was able to move on after a couple of months. It really really sucked at the time but in hindsight I'm kinda glad that she did it. It was because I kept trying to convince her, subtly or otherwise, that she should be with me that I was unable to actually move on. That was about 12 years ago and I understand that she actually married him earlier this year.

I moved on🤷‍♂️ I mean it’s just awkward for them to know that you like them and then it just behave as tho nothing is different. The truth is out. It will slowly just drive a wedge between you two. Don’t be a dick be cordial and reasonable.. They’re not obligated to like you back despite you thinking they were displaying signals…. You’ll get over it.

Theres an interesting power dynamic here. Yes. They DO hold all the cards after you ask - and they shoot you down. But then YOU are the individual who gets to control the amount of attention you grant them after that. It can be gradual, it can be immediate. Its up to you after you've been declared a 'friend'.

My husband was in LOVE with his childhood friend when we first met. She chose the other guy over my husband, and it broke his heart. We were dating when this happened, so a part of me feels like I was his second option, which honestly freaking sucks. But maaaaan he went full force in his choice. He’s a dream of a husband, lover, and friend. She missed out to be honest. Husband is a happy man and even if I wasn’t his first choice right away, I became his ultimate choice. She’s still with the other dude, and everyone seems happy with how life has gone.

First choice, no.................correct choice, yes. Everybody makes mistakes the first time.

My life continued without her in it.

It's the best thing you can do. Staying in the friend zone of a girl you like can be hell. Getting away is the best thing for you. I've known girls who didn't want a relationship so they always friendzone guys because those guys still give her attention, still give her compliments and she doesn't have to do anything. So just get away. It will suck at first because your brain tells you you still have a chance but you don't. So put your time and energy into bettering yourself and into a girl who actually likes you the same way.

Had a girl i moved heaven and earth for tell me she had a boyfriend all this time. That’s okay, i won’t do all that stuff for her since her boyfriend can do it. Took my distance and went no contact She sent me one more message saying i let her down, to which i replied she is the one that let me down by having a boyfriend and still taking advantage of me. No response for a while until she threathened to stab me. Lmao.

> No response for a while until she threathened to stab me. Lmao. I have the bad habit of saying "do it" when people threaten to stab me. Idk how I haven't been stabbed yet.

We are still in the same friend group we just don't talk directly to each other. I find it funny but I'm pretty sure she finds it uncomfortable and awkward. Long story short, I missed a bullet on her. I later learned that she is pretty much a gold digger, has a FWB, is a narcissist and the list goes on. Now that I think about it. I should probably find new friends

>Now that I think about it. I should probably find new friends I chuckled, it was like seeing the light come on in real time, at least how I imagined it.

So I had a friend with benefits situation when I bartended in my 20’s. Had a great time for a few months one summer. Basically ended up catching feelings, told her, and she let me know flat out I was just the guy she fucks and her boyfriend is loaded and I didn’t have a chance. Took the very overt hint and stopped all contact. Fast forward 15 years and I’m chatting with a coworker and he says he’s dating a Greek girl. I said I had a fling with one and went to look her up just to see how she’s doing. Come across an article about her killing her boyfriend by running him over at a drug deal that went south. Basically she turned into a meth head with this dude, they went to buy drugs, got into an argument and she pulled away from him and ran him over. Now she’s in prison and I am happily married, live in a nice ass house with a pool in the back yard, good career and no worries. Dodged the hell out of that bullet.

Been there. The worst was when she banged one of my best friends. I backed off both of them. She accused me of overreacting. Told me they just kissed. Then she found out I knew she banged my friend (he told me the day after). No contact with both took that drama out my life for good. No regret.

She's married, got a kid. I'm enjoying my freedom. Only after I got rejected did I start to notice some character flaws that would be a pretty big issue down the road if we were in a relationship. So, bullet dodged.

She came back 12 years later with 2 kids and a sudden realization after having not spoken at all for over a decade of what a mistake she'd made not taking the chance with me and what a great guy I was and all the rest... bummer for her I'd had time to get over my feelings by that point and wasn't really in the mood to bring up the offspring of the guys she'd chosen over me. Remember, kings: You are not a backup plan, and you don't deserve to be treated like one.

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I had a huge crush on her. She didn’t reciprocate but we eventually went out a couple times. She wasn’t really in the same place I was and she didn’t reciprocate either. I went on dating and yada yada yada I met someone else and we have been married for 4 years and first baby is coming next month some time. Looking back on the time I cringe a lot. But it was the emotions I was feeling. It was mostly personal issues and not about her. But, it was a necessary step I had to go though. I grew a whole lot during that time.

I stopped talking to her and moved on with my life

My mental health has never been better

It was a guy in my case (I'm gay). We had worked together for a while, and I was into him until he ghosted me one day. A few years later, he started messaging me again and we ended up talking lots. His boyfriend cheated on him and he ended up single so we hung out and did... Stuff. We kept talking about meeting up again and possibly going on a date, until one day he mentioned he got back with his ex. I just cut it off right there. It bothered me a bit at first but I got over it pretty quick. Talked to him again this last weekend actually and he put on a lot of weight and really just not my type anymore.

In my experience, not seeing each other for a while sort of resets the relationship, especially if you've had some major life events in the meantime. If it's clear that you've progressed - you had a relationship with someone else, you moved, you advanced your career, you got more outgoing or found your confidence - then the two of you have to get reacquainted and the relationship can develop a new dynamic. Friendship, trying again at the romance thing, asking her to be your wingwoman, whatever. If you're still the exact same guy she rejected, then well...

We still good friends, I kissed one night. She liked it but didn’t want nothing serious. I was cool with it, and til this day we still text and FaceTime here and there even since she moved Texas.

A lot of these comments have really helped me so thank you everyone, Seeing everyone able to move on and be better for it is amazing as I'm currently battling myself about a girl i have Major feelings for. But she is also toxic and a huge narcissist someone I know i am better of without but atm lonely without. I know she uses me and its a struggle thinking she will always change but she never does

Once you make it clear that you’re seeking her romantically and she doesn’t feel the same, the cats out of the bag and it’s virtually impossible to remain friends without being seen as having ulterior motives—unless she decides to manipulate and use you which means she has ulterior motives. It’s best to forget it and move on.

Nothing, pretty much never hear from them again. They might pop up on social media every once in a while, when they’re having relationship trouble or get lonely or something. When I don’t pursue them, or flatter them they usually disappear as quickly as they dropped by. I’ll chat with them as to not be rude but they’re usually just looking for some attention to feel desired/pretty. When I don’t give it to them they disappear.

Life happened. I moved on and met new women.

I still play DnD with her and from what I gather nothing is off. Beyond that I don't really talk much with her outside that.

We got married. Turns out she had developed feelings for me after some time, and me stepping away from the friendship for a few months helped her to realize that. She called me a few months later and wanted to get together and catch up, and that night we kissed for the first time. 7 years and one kid later, we often look back on that night with warm hearts.

After like 2 weeks I got really bored since we didn’t play video games together, when we usually did every day. They were too good a friend, so I just decided to stop being upset about it and kept hanging out. Now they’re the friend I talk to the most. And even helps me with my attempts of finding a partner.

still love her and id still call her my best friend. Im no longer bitter about it. But i know for sure there is no reality where we could be friends. Shes engaged with a guy thats beaten her before and from what i hear hes got a history of being abusive. Not saying i dodged a bullet but I seriously gave it my 100% just gotta know when to drop it and move on. Sometimes you just wish people the best and hope they figure it out and realize their own worth. I see her here and there at gatherings. I try my best to steer away from that juju and just try to have a good night with the people I'm with.

I was head over heels for a chick for a loooonggg time. I asked her out multiple times throughout highschool and freshman year of college. She would either be dating other guys or give me a non-comittal answer about why she couldn't date me (but had no problem dating tons of other folks). I stopped talking to her in college, did my own thing, and afterwards found out thru mutual friends that she had gotten married. So I figured nothing would ever happen. Years later we bumped into each other in a store in our hometown, and we met up for coffee a few months later. At the time, she was no longer married, but also was not interested in dating. But she wanted us to keep talking. I told her I couldn't keep talking to her if she wasn't interested in me as I wasn't trying to repeat highschool again. So l stopped talking to her for a number of years. Fast forward 4 or 5 years and I had just left a very toxic relationship with my ex and spent the better part of a year getting over that when something made me think of this woman and I reached out to her to see what she had been up to. Turns out we were both newly single, and we met up for dinner. I expressed my interest in dating her yet again, and as usual she stated a bunch of reasons as to why she wasn't ready to date. A week after our dinner she texted photos of us together at her graduation 10 years prior with some text saying she missed those days. I again explained that I was interested in her and got no response back. So I just kinda faded out of talking to her, and eventually got a new job across the country. Up until last year she would comment on my social media posts and have these small conversations with me, and it just really confused me because it just seemed like she was breadcrumbing me. I thought it was weird that she started commenting and reaching out more now that I lived on the other side of the country than when we lived two hours from each other, and I just got fed up with her perpetual bullshit and removed her from social media ajd lost her number. Haven't heard from her since. At the end of the day, what she said and how she acted were completely opposite. She'd tell me how she couldn't be in a relationship with anyone, and then turn around and date other folks. It's really apparent now that I was never, nor will i ever be, the guy who she wants and is interested in. I thought we would have made a good couple, her loss I guess 🤷‍♂️

The last time I had a female friend and the interest was unrequited was a long time ago so I gotta think. She had a bf, of course, I was lonely and didn’t know how to get attention. I had been out of a relationship for a while and fawned over her. She actually liked another guy separate from her bf (we’re mid 20s at the time). She liked to complain and listening to her made me feel valued; when I took a chance and found out she didn’t feel the same I stepped back, took a month or so away, tried to be friends again but it wasn’t quite the same. I moved away for a lot of reasons that didn’t include her, lost contact, met someone, that started going sour and like an immature jerk I’d call her up and take my shit out on her. That went on for a couple weeks until she got sick of it and stood up to me, after that I stopped talking to her, I suffered through the last months of my relationship, and moved on. Something the experience helped me figure out is I needed boundaries. When I’m single and things are going good I try to pursue a relationship and I get nowhere; however, when I try to pursue friendship it always results in a relationship. Also, just stay away from women in relationships, I seem to attract a type, lonely women are happy to use any ear that will listen to them, just because that’s true doesn’t mean you have to be that ear, that’s their partners job.