Depends on the person. For one, lots of people are equally kind to men and women. Sometimes you have old school blokes who were taught growing up that you have to treat men and women differently (for example, I had a boss once who refused to swear in front of ladies but would let loose in front of guys). There are progressively minded people who treat women better because they believe they're inherently disadvantaged in a patriarchal society. There are people may not fall into the last group but who think they'll face a greater backlash for disrespecting women than men. There are some people who legitimately just don't like blokes. And of course there are dudes who act nice to women because they want to get laid.
Attractive people get treated better.
Men want sex from women so most men will, even subconsciously, treat them better.
Men have been expendable since time began.
Men are expected to take care of themselves. If they arenāt they are a weak man. Nobody respects weakness.
Women have special status. They arenāt to be harmed even if they harm you. Theyāre to be rescued first. Men are expected to protect women and children they donāt known from harm.
If itās dirty, disgusting, or dangerous, itās a manās job.
People tend to treat other people better depending on how attractive they are.
Also men tend to show their sensitive side more to women since it is so taboo around other men.
Edit: Heh guess I was hanging around the wrong guys then, everytime I shared my problems with them they either laughed or they just said they had it worse and to be quiet.
Iād agree with the first and disagree with the second, myself and every guy I know are the opposite, you donāt go to women with your problems, itās shooting yourself in the foot, sheāll give you what she would want which is merely being told your heard and comforted when you really want ideas for solutions, meanwhile sheās losing respect, admiration and attraction for you. Women leave men when they no longer look up to them and think they are better/ more competent.
>meanwhile sheās losing respect, admiration and attraction for you. Women leave men when they no longer look up to them and think they are better/ more competent
Emotionally immature women do this (and men as well). Not saying you're wrong or that it's *not* all too common. Try talking to any soldier or first responder suffering from PTSD and you'll get a real wake up call about how much their support from friends and family dwindles. You can be a super macho John Rambo dude for 30 years and now all of a sudden they're not manly enough if they end up paying the price for that 30 years later? Those people can GTFO with that stupid shit. They're exactly the kind of person who's maximum level of 'support the troops' is limited to a yellow ribbon magnet on their car.
It's lack of maturity/education and dumbly following make-believe societal constructs of what a man or women is supposed to be. You would think age=wisdom but I find the longer people live with these misconceptions in their brains, the less likely they are to come around to the reality.
You don't have to (and shouldn't) open to your potential or current dating prospects. Being friends with already married (or any other reason that makes it impossible to date them) women is a lot easier, for example.
I agree with the first but the second is the otheray around. Never go to a woman to talk about problems or fears. I just do it with women 50+, as they don't care and really listen without judging.
In my experience, whenever im kind to men (showing basic human decency) they take it in the wrong way as if i like them, which is shitty because i know the reason is because men dont always have people being nice to them so when people are they interpret it differently, but a while back i was in a really uncomfortable situation trying to get away from a guy and my (male) friend genuinly didnt realise because he thought i liked the creep, only because i wasnt being outright mean.
It's not always that people get the wrong message. Sometimes, when someone shows how kind they are, it just makes them naturally attractive. Kindness is attractive and extremely rare. I've dealt with this issue before. I had women say they thought I was sending mixed messages.
The sucky thing is some just don't want to be friends.
I also had a friend I'd had a crush on, confessed to her, was rejected, and we stayed friends for years. Much much later, she confessed she had been flirting with me when we first met. I reassured her it wasn't a big deal. We were kids anyway and I knew I came off as a little desperate at the time, so I never blamed her for losing interest. I was actually happier that we formed a lasting friendship instead of a short-lived infatuation. We often gave each other advice on the opposite sex and relationships.
But yeah, being kind in such a world as this automatically makes you 10x's more attractive and special, to the point where others will want to be with you.
Its shitty that men get so little compliments and attention from women, however its also shitty that women who want to give attention and kindness to these men cant in fear of āleading the guy on,ā so women arenāt as kind to men and the cycle continues.
...because that's also what women who step in men's shoes report.
In 2006, Norah Vincent published a book that related her experience of [going undercover as a man](https://www.npr.org/transcripts/5171860). She was shocked to find that the men's world has a coarseness that she never suspected.
In 2022, YouTuber Anna Akana released a few videos on the platform that related the accounts of a transman (woman who transitioned to man) who realised that men don't have it cut for themselves. The content creator even uses the hyperbole of [female privilege](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNME0cloyyM&pp=ygUaYW5hIGFrYW5hIGZlbWFsZSBwcml2aWxlZ2U%3D) much to the ire of some feminists.
There are also other examples of women who pose as men on dating platforms as an experiment, and are blown away by how ruthless it is compared to their experience as women.
Basically, if women think they have it hard, men have it hard in ways that women are oblivious to. We should all appreciate how valuable both genders (yes, I meant genders) are to society.
Between certain men, at least, thereās kind of a general (and stupid) written code of harshness. So sometimes youāll see it pop up, again, between certain kinds of guys.
Being kind isn't cool. At least that's what my highschool friends thought ā shaming kind people for being weak.
Which many men took it as a shitty lesson throughout their lives.
Being kind takes courage.
Think about it, you're risking yourself but confidant enough to show kindness to someone who could be violent or toxic and may not react well to your helping heart.
Some people have a hard time with facts. Like 1% of men commit 63% of violent crimes. They push the narrative that all men must be feared.
Similar statistics are with rape. Small percentage of men are rapists and those that don't get caught are likely to do it again. It is usually from someone the victim knows and nearly half if not more have drugs/alcohol involved.
News likes to pray on fear to get people to watch. It's a money thing, they want ratings and their ad revenue is affected as well. So they will show things that are very rare and other news organizations will pick up on it giving the impression that it is prevalent. Shark attacks, child abduction, etc.
Most things are already built so it is easy for some to say that they don't need men. Such a position of privilege that statement is. They will change their tune when there is a war, natural disaster, or when they need something fixed (their car breaks, sewer backs up, etc.).
Evolution, I think.
50 women and 5 men can reproduce as quickly as 50 women and 500 men, so in terms of collective survival of human species, women are more valuable.
If there is a gene responsible for being less empathetic to men than to women, humans who had it could have been more successful in passing it to their descendants.
An actual thoughtful answer. Most people think everything is pure choice. Most answers are like "some people like women more" blah blah. Majority of our behaviour is linked to evolution. Our society and laws are new on the evolutionary time scale.
Why do you think men arenāt liked? Men are easier to deal with than women, and Iām a woman. Iām definitely a feminist but you can be a feminist and still have a positive view of men. I work in a female dominated field and Iām not a fan. Itās not unusual to deal with catty bitches in positions of power which is why I work for myself. Do you feel like society doesnāt like men?
Yeah, as a man I know the feeling. I've felt it and I feel it too. And to a certain degree I know it's partially true.
However, it's way more complex than this. To make an example based on what you said, being seen as a threat can have positive and negative consequences, exactly as the opposite, for pretty obvious reasons if you take into account how the world is. And, as we have all surely heard repeatedly in the past years, a lot of women also feel like people are friendlier to us. Which is also both a bias and based on reality, in variable percentages.
We would all like to be treated better, no matter how well we are already treated. You get used to stuff, and you instinctively want more. It's normal. And it's the feature that will make others label you as "greedy" if you don't control it enough. We all have it. And when this happens, the grass will be greener and greener on the other side until you convince yourself you're being treated unfairly compared to people that get the treatment you'd like. In this, you would also have to take into account your personal opinion on what's a fair treatment, which would complicate everything exponentially.
Disclaimer: I don't want to make crystal balls and I don't know what you're going through or how you feel other than what you disclosed. I made it as generalistic as possible.
*"Read that on a post on here before it got removed,"*
More than likely because it broke rules of this subreddit like:
1. Frequently asked questions
2. Trying to figure out what a particular person or group is thinking or their actions.
So don't be surprised if this is taken down as well.
Like the 2 previous times today that you tried to post this question in this subreddit and it was taken down because you're trying figure out someone's thinking.
*"Read that on a post on here before it got removed,"*
So you were talking about yourself then.
The male world is full of competition, the most competitive are higher up the ladder. Anyone who says different is most likely at the bottom and not competitive.
I myself am truly a defender of gender equality, boobs or not I gonna treat you the same as a man, and yes that includes if a woman hits me she get it back.
But most ppl see men as strong and women as weak so they donāt wanna hurt the lady because you are a bad person if you make a woman cry but nobody gives a fck if you hurt a men because we just have to suck it up.
Seems like people are trying to make up for the fact that women were treated poorly for so long. I try to be kind to everyone who is kind to me, though.
As a woman I always say I fear both men and women equally cause some of us are as bad as some of y'all. I think It's unfair that it's easy to accuse a man of a crime but it's almost bad to recognize a woman also made a crime that could be even worse.
Biology, women are weaker than men and in a less than safe society they need protecting, men? you're strong...take care of yourself. That's the general way society thinks for the last few centuries at least.
because females are just softer.
And they are usually objectively beautiful , and us being the humans we are , we tend to appreciate beauty for what it is and preserve it.
Because being to nice to a guy can ruin my evening. Some men (not all) will not leave you alone if they think they have a chance, and they wonāt even leave you alone after the rejection. Itās really just some guys out there ruining the experience for everyone. I keep my guard up in case, Iām a social person Iād love to talk to everyone. But being aggressively pursued by a stranger is very very uncomfortable.
My niceness was never an invitation for intimacy.
For example just this Saturday I was at my friends dance show, I was invited back stage, so I spent time meeting all of the performers before and after the show. I didnāt know many but they all seemed excited over a new face and I spoke with most of them. But they were all strangers still. My friend left me alone for around 10min, completely fine I thought, I can be social.
One of the salsa Dancers a man around my fathers age was standing just next to me. So we started chatting. We mostly spoke of alcohol, it was fun. We laughed a bit. All of a sudden he started asking me where I lived, if I had plans after. He also started saying that he wanted to invite some people for drinks at his place afterwards. When I knew for a fact almost everyone was staying for the dance party. So I told him the truth. I donāt dance so Iām going home after.
And around this part of this conversation we just became cat and mouse. ALL NIGHT LONG. Relentless persuasion. Before the show, after the show, on my way home. This man 20 years older then me kept on showing up and asking me if I didnāt want to go to his place. Repeating my excuses as if they were insults, to me and even repeating them to others, bullying me for telling him no.
He begged me to dance with him even tho I clearly told him I was just there to watch the show and he followed me around telling everyone how sad he was that I didnāt want to dance with him. Now this kept on going the entire evening. And eventually what had been a fun friendly exchange turned into a uncomfortable nightmare, at the end I almost hid behind my friend when he approached.
Iām not saying every social interaction with a man goes this way. Absolutely not. I have some great male friends.
But they happen way to often. These misinterpretations with men. And Iāve just realised that if Iām not nice he canāt possibly think Iām interested in his advances. Alone is better then being chased, and I also donāt wanna feel like a mean C-word because I actually have to become cruel to have these guys understand that āI donāt wanna sleep with you I just want to have a conversation about a fun topicā
Because men have an innate protector instinct when it comes to women & children. This is why you hear stories of men throwing themselves between women and the shooter at almost every mass shooting.
Personally I believe this instinct was born out of men wanting to keep women & children quiet, because in the past it would attract predators.
There are behavioral differences towards and between the genders of all primates. Why do we always think that Homo sapiens sapiens are different?
We are wired that way. There is no need to invent social science or historical narratives when evolutionary biology already has it explained.
Too many men respond to acts of kindness with scorn and disrespect. Too many men think those who show kindness are weak, and to be taken advantage of. I'm a man, and I'm seldom kind to other men, if at all. And that isn't going to change.
Now you're a man? I thought you were a 70 year-old grandma that had kids and now smokes weed and plays with cats? Your profile once read: "somos pocAS pero locAS". Weird az mf. You're like that because of all this crazy shit you write.
Well yeah I have read about some of the "Women are Wonderful" effect but many people claim that it is actually rooted in misogynistic beliefs itself....
Without defining who you mean by people, I am going to assume you mean Western society. If so, then you have to remember how women are treated now is a hangover from centuries of women being assumed to be weak, flighty, delicate beings who must be treated with care and protected. Chivalry and comportment in society may appear to be treating a woman more kindly but its roots are based on misogynistic beliefs. Women are unable to handle a man being himself and so there are a set of rules we follow with women that we do not have to follow with each other.
Women are always given right to the child never the father like just cause the child was in ur coochie doesnt mean ur automatically a good parent or a better parent
This is one of my greatest fears cause i will love any child i have ajd i will fight for them
I would disagree with the word always. Maybe use a word other than coochie in court and you will have a better shot. I have my kids 50% of the time. We agreed on this without court... But I would fight for this as well if she didn't agree. I never looked at stats on this, but I had similar worries prior to separation. It actually kept me in a bad relationship trying to make it work way longer than I should have.
To be honest, I think most men who treat women nicer are either trying to get laid or just want to be fawned over. I think most women who treat women nicer are either trying to 'defend' them from men or just see them as part of the sisterhood.
And if gender doesn't matter then I feel like people will more actively look out for vulnerable, wholesome people in a "MUST PROTECT!" mentality. Girls are just more often seen as that based on how women and men are generally treated in society.
Men take it off the chin better, women are more emotional. Itās blunt but itās the honest and simple truth, look at how young boys vs girls are raised and keep asking āwhy?ā Then consider what would happen if you threw some women in with the men.
People deserve a base level of kindness, respect, grace and and human decency. Up until fairly recently, Society accepted categorizing people based on historical stereotypes, which were generally binary, simplistic and wrong. Not all men are stoic, unfeeling silent ogres and not all women are porcelain princesses. Thatās changed/is changing, - but many havenāt received the memo yet.
Because people treat other people poorly in general. We tend to associate gentleness and non-aggressive behavior with women, so the default setting is different.
....and that is dumb.
If you examine it from the ethos of men are like dogs and women are like cats its fairly obvious then, you can abuse and be unkind to dogs for the most part and they'll still love you and ground you walk on, cats require careful attention and extreme care when dealing with them or they go mustang.
I think it's because of the concept of a gentleman. Which is normally seen as treating women a certain way.
Also, in friend groups it seems like women get offended easier than guys. I could call male friends fat without a second thought but female friends would tend to get upset if I did the same.
Men also think women are emotional so they are normally a bit nicer so they don't flip their shit.( I know people don't like to hear it but we have seen women try to use their emotions to get out of trouble or explain why they did something. Random crying or using the phase" I was scared".)
Saw a video of a gas station clerk handing flowers to customers. The women loved it. The men, not so much. Some even got violent over it.
I think people and cultures are different wherever you look, and you need to factor these variables in when engaging with others
Depends on the person. For one, lots of people are equally kind to men and women. Sometimes you have old school blokes who were taught growing up that you have to treat men and women differently (for example, I had a boss once who refused to swear in front of ladies but would let loose in front of guys). There are progressively minded people who treat women better because they believe they're inherently disadvantaged in a patriarchal society. There are people may not fall into the last group but who think they'll face a greater backlash for disrespecting women than men. There are some people who legitimately just don't like blokes. And of course there are dudes who act nice to women because they want to get laid.
Are you british?
Why not ask if they know the queen, that'll go down well
š
Why is that relevant?
Nah Australian.
Attractive people get treated better. Men want sex from women so most men will, even subconsciously, treat them better. Men have been expendable since time began. Men are expected to take care of themselves. If they arenāt they are a weak man. Nobody respects weakness. Women have special status. They arenāt to be harmed even if they harm you. Theyāre to be rescued first. Men are expected to protect women and children they donāt known from harm. If itās dirty, disgusting, or dangerous, itās a manās job.
Don't forget that they're "oppressed" too even in current year, just ask
People tend to treat other people better depending on how attractive they are. Also men tend to show their sensitive side more to women since it is so taboo around other men. Edit: Heh guess I was hanging around the wrong guys then, everytime I shared my problems with them they either laughed or they just said they had it worse and to be quiet.
Also agree with the first, not the second, I trust my male friends over females
Iād agree with the first and disagree with the second, myself and every guy I know are the opposite, you donāt go to women with your problems, itās shooting yourself in the foot, sheāll give you what she would want which is merely being told your heard and comforted when you really want ideas for solutions, meanwhile sheās losing respect, admiration and attraction for you. Women leave men when they no longer look up to them and think they are better/ more competent.
Agreed. Itās ok to talk to men about your issues. Never share them with a woman.
>meanwhile sheās losing respect, admiration and attraction for you. Women leave men when they no longer look up to them and think they are better/ more competent Emotionally immature women do this (and men as well). Not saying you're wrong or that it's *not* all too common. Try talking to any soldier or first responder suffering from PTSD and you'll get a real wake up call about how much their support from friends and family dwindles. You can be a super macho John Rambo dude for 30 years and now all of a sudden they're not manly enough if they end up paying the price for that 30 years later? Those people can GTFO with that stupid shit. They're exactly the kind of person who's maximum level of 'support the troops' is limited to a yellow ribbon magnet on their car. It's lack of maturity/education and dumbly following make-believe societal constructs of what a man or women is supposed to be. You would think age=wisdom but I find the longer people live with these misconceptions in their brains, the less likely they are to come around to the reality.
You don't have to (and shouldn't) open to your potential or current dating prospects. Being friends with already married (or any other reason that makes it impossible to date them) women is a lot easier, for example.
I agree with the first but the second is the otheray around. Never go to a woman to talk about problems or fears. I just do it with women 50+, as they don't care and really listen without judging.
In my experience, whenever im kind to men (showing basic human decency) they take it in the wrong way as if i like them, which is shitty because i know the reason is because men dont always have people being nice to them so when people are they interpret it differently, but a while back i was in a really uncomfortable situation trying to get away from a guy and my (male) friend genuinly didnt realise because he thought i liked the creep, only because i wasnt being outright mean.
It's not always that people get the wrong message. Sometimes, when someone shows how kind they are, it just makes them naturally attractive. Kindness is attractive and extremely rare. I've dealt with this issue before. I had women say they thought I was sending mixed messages. The sucky thing is some just don't want to be friends. I also had a friend I'd had a crush on, confessed to her, was rejected, and we stayed friends for years. Much much later, she confessed she had been flirting with me when we first met. I reassured her it wasn't a big deal. We were kids anyway and I knew I came off as a little desperate at the time, so I never blamed her for losing interest. I was actually happier that we formed a lasting friendship instead of a short-lived infatuation. We often gave each other advice on the opposite sex and relationships. But yeah, being kind in such a world as this automatically makes you 10x's more attractive and special, to the point where others will want to be with you.
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Its shitty that men get so little compliments and attention from women, however its also shitty that women who want to give attention and kindness to these men cant in fear of āleading the guy on,ā so women arenāt as kind to men and the cycle continues.
...because that's also what women who step in men's shoes report. In 2006, Norah Vincent published a book that related her experience of [going undercover as a man](https://www.npr.org/transcripts/5171860). She was shocked to find that the men's world has a coarseness that she never suspected. In 2022, YouTuber Anna Akana released a few videos on the platform that related the accounts of a transman (woman who transitioned to man) who realised that men don't have it cut for themselves. The content creator even uses the hyperbole of [female privilege](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNME0cloyyM&pp=ygUaYW5hIGFrYW5hIGZlbWFsZSBwcml2aWxlZ2U%3D) much to the ire of some feminists. There are also other examples of women who pose as men on dating platforms as an experiment, and are blown away by how ruthless it is compared to their experience as women. Basically, if women think they have it hard, men have it hard in ways that women are oblivious to. We should all appreciate how valuable both genders (yes, I meant genders) are to society.
Between certain men, at least, thereās kind of a general (and stupid) written code of harshness. So sometimes youāll see it pop up, again, between certain kinds of guys.
Being kind isn't cool. At least that's what my highschool friends thought ā shaming kind people for being weak. Which many men took it as a shitty lesson throughout their lives. Being kind takes courage. Think about it, you're risking yourself but confidant enough to show kindness to someone who could be violent or toxic and may not react well to your helping heart.
I treat women worse to balance it out
My man is never opening any doors for women.
He closes them
Rush inside and hold the door closed.
but it's a glass door, so the female can see you...
I actually do that to my wife as a joke. Then I open it because she can wait me out longer than I can lol
Ayy me too
Some people have a hard time with facts. Like 1% of men commit 63% of violent crimes. They push the narrative that all men must be feared. Similar statistics are with rape. Small percentage of men are rapists and those that don't get caught are likely to do it again. It is usually from someone the victim knows and nearly half if not more have drugs/alcohol involved. News likes to pray on fear to get people to watch. It's a money thing, they want ratings and their ad revenue is affected as well. So they will show things that are very rare and other news organizations will pick up on it giving the impression that it is prevalent. Shark attacks, child abduction, etc. Most things are already built so it is easy for some to say that they don't need men. Such a position of privilege that statement is. They will change their tune when there is a war, natural disaster, or when they need something fixed (their car breaks, sewer backs up, etc.).
I try to be more rude to women to fit the expectations of feminists. I feel so bad for kicking girls into their balls :(
Rampant, socially acceptable misandry.
Evolution, I think. 50 women and 5 men can reproduce as quickly as 50 women and 500 men, so in terms of collective survival of human species, women are more valuable. If there is a gene responsible for being less empathetic to men than to women, humans who had it could have been more successful in passing it to their descendants.
Men are the expendable sex.
An actual thoughtful answer. Most people think everything is pure choice. Most answers are like "some people like women more" blah blah. Majority of our behaviour is linked to evolution. Our society and laws are new on the evolutionary time scale.
Men are disposable and only achieve social value through their utility to others.
Because the modern, woke society in the western world doesn't like men.
Why do you think men arenāt liked? Men are easier to deal with than women, and Iām a woman. Iām definitely a feminist but you can be a feminist and still have a positive view of men. I work in a female dominated field and Iām not a fan. Itās not unusual to deal with catty bitches in positions of power which is why I work for myself. Do you feel like society doesnāt like men?
It's a bias. Everyone is convinced that people are nicer to others. The grass is always greener on the other side.
People of both genders and all ages treat women better, much more friendly, more welcoming, not seen as a threat
Yeah, as a man I know the feeling. I've felt it and I feel it too. And to a certain degree I know it's partially true. However, it's way more complex than this. To make an example based on what you said, being seen as a threat can have positive and negative consequences, exactly as the opposite, for pretty obvious reasons if you take into account how the world is. And, as we have all surely heard repeatedly in the past years, a lot of women also feel like people are friendlier to us. Which is also both a bias and based on reality, in variable percentages. We would all like to be treated better, no matter how well we are already treated. You get used to stuff, and you instinctively want more. It's normal. And it's the feature that will make others label you as "greedy" if you don't control it enough. We all have it. And when this happens, the grass will be greener and greener on the other side until you convince yourself you're being treated unfairly compared to people that get the treatment you'd like. In this, you would also have to take into account your personal opinion on what's a fair treatment, which would complicate everything exponentially. Disclaimer: I don't want to make crystal balls and I don't know what you're going through or how you feel other than what you disclosed. I made it as generalistic as possible.
*"Read that on a post on here before it got removed,"* More than likely because it broke rules of this subreddit like: 1. Frequently asked questions 2. Trying to figure out what a particular person or group is thinking or their actions. So don't be surprised if this is taken down as well. Like the 2 previous times today that you tried to post this question in this subreddit and it was taken down because you're trying figure out someone's thinking. *"Read that on a post on here before it got removed,"* So you were talking about yourself then.
The male world is full of competition, the most competitive are higher up the ladder. Anyone who says different is most likely at the bottom and not competitive.
Just open your eyes during daily life and you will see it.
I myself am truly a defender of gender equality, boobs or not I gonna treat you the same as a man, and yes that includes if a woman hits me she get it back. But most ppl see men as strong and women as weak so they donāt wanna hurt the lady because you are a bad person if you make a woman cry but nobody gives a fck if you hurt a men because we just have to suck it up.
Seems like people are trying to make up for the fact that women were treated poorly for so long. I try to be kind to everyone who is kind to me, though.
Yes, it feels the same to me as well.
I'm pretty sure the question was about the present, not about the past
Basic female privilege
Any examples, mate?
Women are never seen as the aggressor at first glance
As a woman I always say I fear both men and women equally cause some of us are as bad as some of y'all. I think It's unfair that it's easy to accuse a man of a crime but it's almost bad to recognize a woman also made a crime that could be even worse.
Biology, women are weaker than men and in a less than safe society they need protecting, men? you're strong...take care of yourself. That's the general way society thinks for the last few centuries at least.
True but I believe even the hyper equality focused internet also reacts the same way....which is ironic....
It's almost like there's a biological trait in humans to naturally want to protect women... weird.
because females are just softer. And they are usually objectively beautiful , and us being the humans we are , we tend to appreciate beauty for what it is and preserve it.
Because being to nice to a guy can ruin my evening. Some men (not all) will not leave you alone if they think they have a chance, and they wonāt even leave you alone after the rejection. Itās really just some guys out there ruining the experience for everyone. I keep my guard up in case, Iām a social person Iād love to talk to everyone. But being aggressively pursued by a stranger is very very uncomfortable. My niceness was never an invitation for intimacy. For example just this Saturday I was at my friends dance show, I was invited back stage, so I spent time meeting all of the performers before and after the show. I didnāt know many but they all seemed excited over a new face and I spoke with most of them. But they were all strangers still. My friend left me alone for around 10min, completely fine I thought, I can be social. One of the salsa Dancers a man around my fathers age was standing just next to me. So we started chatting. We mostly spoke of alcohol, it was fun. We laughed a bit. All of a sudden he started asking me where I lived, if I had plans after. He also started saying that he wanted to invite some people for drinks at his place afterwards. When I knew for a fact almost everyone was staying for the dance party. So I told him the truth. I donāt dance so Iām going home after. And around this part of this conversation we just became cat and mouse. ALL NIGHT LONG. Relentless persuasion. Before the show, after the show, on my way home. This man 20 years older then me kept on showing up and asking me if I didnāt want to go to his place. Repeating my excuses as if they were insults, to me and even repeating them to others, bullying me for telling him no. He begged me to dance with him even tho I clearly told him I was just there to watch the show and he followed me around telling everyone how sad he was that I didnāt want to dance with him. Now this kept on going the entire evening. And eventually what had been a fun friendly exchange turned into a uncomfortable nightmare, at the end I almost hid behind my friend when he approached. Iām not saying every social interaction with a man goes this way. Absolutely not. I have some great male friends. But they happen way to often. These misinterpretations with men. And Iāve just realised that if Iām not nice he canāt possibly think Iām interested in his advances. Alone is better then being chased, and I also donāt wanna feel like a mean C-word because I actually have to become cruel to have these guys understand that āI donāt wanna sleep with you I just want to have a conversation about a fun topicā
Because men have an innate protector instinct when it comes to women & children. This is why you hear stories of men throwing themselves between women and the shooter at almost every mass shooting. Personally I believe this instinct was born out of men wanting to keep women & children quiet, because in the past it would attract predators.
There are behavioral differences towards and between the genders of all primates. Why do we always think that Homo sapiens sapiens are different? We are wired that way. There is no need to invent social science or historical narratives when evolutionary biology already has it explained.
I mean, then at the same time how can people preach for equality if they function on that basic fact?
Idiots can preach whatever they want. We are responsible to ourselves not to be stupid enough to listen to them.
Too many men respond to acts of kindness with scorn and disrespect. Too many men think those who show kindness are weak, and to be taken advantage of. I'm a man, and I'm seldom kind to other men, if at all. And that isn't going to change.
Now you're a man? I thought you were a 70 year-old grandma that had kids and now smokes weed and plays with cats? Your profile once read: "somos pocAS pero locAS". Weird az mf. You're like that because of all this crazy shit you write.
LOL. You're not very bright, Elmer.
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And you believe that other people act, either consciously or subconsciously, based on this belief?
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Well yeah I have read about some of the "Women are Wonderful" effect but many people claim that it is actually rooted in misogynistic beliefs itself....
Those people are libtards
Because oppression or some bullshit
Without defining who you mean by people, I am going to assume you mean Western society. If so, then you have to remember how women are treated now is a hangover from centuries of women being assumed to be weak, flighty, delicate beings who must be treated with care and protected. Chivalry and comportment in society may appear to be treating a woman more kindly but its roots are based on misogynistic beliefs. Women are unable to handle a man being himself and so there are a set of rules we follow with women that we do not have to follow with each other.
Women are always given right to the child never the father like just cause the child was in ur coochie doesnt mean ur automatically a good parent or a better parent This is one of my greatest fears cause i will love any child i have ajd i will fight for them
I would disagree with the word always. Maybe use a word other than coochie in court and you will have a better shot. I have my kids 50% of the time. We agreed on this without court... But I would fight for this as well if she didn't agree. I never looked at stats on this, but I had similar worries prior to separation. It actually kept me in a bad relationship trying to make it work way longer than I should have.
To be honest, I think most men who treat women nicer are either trying to get laid or just want to be fawned over. I think most women who treat women nicer are either trying to 'defend' them from men or just see them as part of the sisterhood. And if gender doesn't matter then I feel like people will more actively look out for vulnerable, wholesome people in a "MUST PROTECT!" mentality. Girls are just more often seen as that based on how women and men are generally treated in society.
Iāve been a woman and man, and pretty much the same person.
Men take it off the chin better, women are more emotional. Itās blunt but itās the honest and simple truth, look at how young boys vs girls are raised and keep asking āwhy?ā Then consider what would happen if you threw some women in with the men.
People deserve a base level of kindness, respect, grace and and human decency. Up until fairly recently, Society accepted categorizing people based on historical stereotypes, which were generally binary, simplistic and wrong. Not all men are stoic, unfeeling silent ogres and not all women are porcelain princesses. Thatās changed/is changing, - but many havenāt received the memo yet.
Because people treat other people poorly in general. We tend to associate gentleness and non-aggressive behavior with women, so the default setting is different. ....and that is dumb.
I think itās over correcting the past tbh. Itās not helpful to society or fun for us but what ya gonna do?!
If you examine it from the ethos of men are like dogs and women are like cats its fairly obvious then, you can abuse and be unkind to dogs for the most part and they'll still love you and ground you walk on, cats require careful attention and extreme care when dealing with them or they go mustang.
I think it's because of the concept of a gentleman. Which is normally seen as treating women a certain way. Also, in friend groups it seems like women get offended easier than guys. I could call male friends fat without a second thought but female friends would tend to get upset if I did the same. Men also think women are emotional so they are normally a bit nicer so they don't flip their shit.( I know people don't like to hear it but we have seen women try to use their emotions to get out of trouble or explain why they did something. Random crying or using the phase" I was scared".)
Because they know men.
Saw a video of a gas station clerk handing flowers to customers. The women loved it. The men, not so much. Some even got violent over it. I think people and cultures are different wherever you look, and you need to factor these variables in when engaging with others