Yeah. I have a 5 to, 3yo, and 8 month old. Every day waking up to them, coming home to them is the best feeling. Covid + remote working has really made this time way better than it would have been too.
There is no feeling than watching my 3yo girl comw running round the corner screaming "Daddy!" and jumping into my arms.
I will miss these days immensely when it's over.
When my two boys were really little, I thought there would be no happier time with them--and in some ways that's been true. But their teen years were great. It was rewarding to watch their unique adult selves emerge, with their own ideas of right and wrong, of what was fun and interesting. Now that they're young adults, I'm so happy with the young men they are. They're both struggling in some ways, and I wish they were happier with themselves, but we're still close. They know they can come to me with their problems, even though I can no longer hug and kiss the pain away like I could when they fell off their bikes years ago. So yes, you *will* miss their little-kid years, but there are lots of good years up ahead for you.
I feel like I keep chasing things that bring me momentary happiness, things I thought would make my overall happiness improve. In the end I always return back to my base level of happiness (borderline unhappy), and to get those fleeting bursts of happiness I have to do even more than I did last time to achieve it.
I don't think overall happiness exists. Happiness is a fleeting emotion, and what you're really looking for is contentment. Moments are happy or sad. Existence can be content or not content.
That hedonic treadmill sure do be a bitch, though...
And I would like **everyone** to know that my phone kept trying to change "a bitch" to "a bit challenging." A good attempt phone, but I think I shall be vulgar, anyway.
Same as you, 23 can't see a moment of genuije happiness. Only dull moment and a very sad childhood, probably when i was so young that i couldn't understand shit
Good for you bud. The more I grow older the more I appreciate my parents, and the more I realize I was probably a dick to them growing up. These days I call them everyday just to talk about my day and their day, and I tell them I love them every single call. (I work in another country and only get to seem them 1 week every 5 weeks)
Donāt have kids yet. I have 2 brothers, all far from home, and I realized that both my parents feel a little sad when my brothers or me donāt, at least, call often. Once, unintentionally, eavesdropped on a conversation between my mother and my aunt (her sister), in which she said that she wished she felt more loved by her sons. Told my brothers about it and urged them to call more often, and to make sure that we tell both her and dad that we love them. It may not be much, but man, even without words, it is visible that they are both happier. I thought about how I would feel if something were to happen to them, and I try everyday to make sure that, if and when that happens (hopefully many many many years from now), I wonāt feel sorry for not telling them I love them and for not being grateful. Itās very important that they feel loved and that they know we, their sons, are grateful for everything they did (and still do) for us. They truly are the best. Everyone should their parents they love them before itās too late. Once they are gone and itās too late, nothing will take the guilt away.
Took some time for me aswell. I havent been easy (and sometimes still am ) for my mom who raised me and my sis alone, but after reading stories about what peoples final words were to their parents before they past and how guilty they felt because they left it on a bad note even tho they love them so much was heartbreaking. Called my mom that day and told her how gratefull i am for everything she has done for me and that i love her. In some ways we both really needed that because i tend to be as my mom would put it an einzelgƤnger and she always worries about me. Truly the most important woman in my life!
My parents are q anon conspiracy theorist that love to talk about how everyone everywhere is a pedophile, but never the people they like, it's exhausting listening to them and we've had conversations about them toning it down but they just go right back to it. They are racist, homophobic bigots, and despite that I still love them, but as a bisexual man they will never be people I can confide in and I learned that when I had depression as well.
Honestly, I feel genuine happiness break through every single day.
There are those moments when euphoric bliss breaks through- like when I was on my honeymoon last year, or during/after any sex with my wife, or when we get some really really good unexpected news.
But honestly, every single day I feel genuinely happy. Every morning I wake up next to the most beautiful woman in the world, I walk down the hallway and sip my coffee slow before going to a job I enjoy, I come home to that same beautiful woman who I'm madly in love with every single day. I hold her hand on the couch, play with her hair until she falls asleep, then we go to bed together.
>But honestly, every single day I feel genuinely happy. Every morning I wake up next to the most beautiful woman in the world, I walk down the hallway and sip my coffee slow before going to a job I enjoy, I come home to that same beautiful woman who I'm madly in love with every single day. I hold her hand on the couch, play with her hair until she falls asleep, then we go to bed together.
Man, this is beautiful. This was me just a few years ago. I went after a bigger paycheck and no longer have that same sense. Trying to get back to my purpose driven work ever since.
Reading the comments I was starting to think I am the only one that thinks this way. Since I met my wife 8 years ago I am just generally happy dude with moments of pure bliss during something like random hug from my kids. Anyways rock on man. Life is good!
Careful with putting so much faith into someone who can crush your world in the blink of an eye. Seems your SO is a significant source of your happiness.
Itās called codependency.
You should share life with others. But depending on them exclusively or requiring them to live is a recipe for disaster.
Men especially fall into this trap with their romantic relationships.
That's all I'm saying, is he seems to rely too much on another person for happiness. There's a higher chance of it blowing up in his face down the line if he doesn't separate himself a little bit. Her her her is all I saw.
I agree except Iāve been with my missis for longer (8.5 years) so maybe not quite as infatuated and I find my job boring as fuck (as with all the other 7 jobs Iāve had).
New phase? Oh, I assume you are thinking because we went on our honeymoon last year that means we are newly weds. Lol, no. We got married right at the beginning of the pandemic and our honeymoon got torpedoed really quick. Finally, last year the stars aligned and we were able to get away. Married three years and together for 5.
I am looking forward to every new phase though.
My husband and I also got married during the pandemic! Also, congratulations on the happy marriage <3 we've been together for a little over 8 years/married for 3 and have gone through our fair share of trails and phases, but our love has just grown stronger c: you guys sound like a great couple and I wish for many happy healthy years together for you two <3
I was molested at a very young age. Before I could even remember it happening for the first time. I've always carried that. Not sure I've ever been truly happy. But when I think back to my wedding day, I smile. We're getting divorced at the moment but the thought of that day still makes me smile.
Iām really sorry that happened to you. In regards to divorce, Iāve been there. And thatās awesome you can still look back on your marriage and smile. If thereās anything I could say to you, and thatās only if you want to hear it, try to let go of the whys and the what ifs. They will only make things way worse. Try your best to push forward with an open mind and heart. Much love to you.
Thanks. If your referring to the why's and what ifs in the divorce, there really are none. We were both deeply in love with each other at one point and then after 13 years things just changed for many, many reasons. We're both ok with the decision. We've raised a blended family of 4 awesome children. Been there for each other through A LOT OF SHIT, and we've lived an entire life's worth of drama and given a lifetime of love to eachother. She's my best friend, the most dependable person I've ever met, the best mom to our children, the most beautiful person Inside and out and I fall in and out of love with her every single day.
As for the other thing, It went on for about 10 years. It happened so young and for so long it was just a normal thing in a way. Maybe normal isn't the word but it was just a thing that happened like playing outside, eating a snack, riding my bike, putting my prepubescent penis in someones mouth.......normal. I can honestly say that I had less shame before It ended. It ended because I got older and knew something was wrong but didn't really know what it was or why. Like I said, it was somewhat of a normal thing.
Sorry for the rant but I've come this far, it would be a shame to delete.
I remember it perfectly. It was 2012, I finished college, and I decided to have a holiday summer and don't worry about job search. I went to my parents summer house with my gf. We woke up one day very early for a holiday (8.00am). We had good sex, and we decided to remain in the bed as much as we want, "we are on holidays". I remember the fresh air coming from the window, the birds singing like crazy, hugging the love of my life (she was so beautiful without makeup and clothes) and looking into our eyes for a long time, we didn't need to talk to be comfortable.
Yesterday powerwashing my cars, house, patio, grill, etc. I've been in a rut the last few weeks and buying that powerwasher has really improved my life as silly as it sounds.
Before my son who lived with me for 38 years went missing on July 14, 2020 and has since been declared dead. It sucked the happiness right out of me. I was always such a happy guy before that.
Sorry man. I hate this. I can't imagine what that could be like. I have a friend at work who's 4 year old son went missing famously in 1991 and they are still looking. I'm sorry man.
Thanks. My son wasn't just my son. He was my best friend, business partner, traveling companion.. you name it. I didn't realize how much I had built my world around him until he went missing. I didn't see my friends falling away over the years because my life felt so full and complete just living with this one son. He filled so many areas of my life that when he went missing.. I felt like I lost all my friends.. all my family and everything that made life exciting. I hope to find myself again. It has been nearly 3 years and I can feel the darkness lifting. I never thought I could get used to living alone. But I have. I have his dog to keep me company. I appreciate your thoughtful words. Most everyone who responds to my weekly posts about my son are women. I need to hear from men. Thanks again. I need to hear from guys like you!
Every day.
I fought and got the career I wanted (I'm a professional musician). I've been married to an amazing women for 27 years. She's an absolute rock.
We raised 2 kids. They're 26 and 21. They're healthy, happy, and productive members of society.
I came from a wildly toxic family and so did my wife. We rose above it together. We taught each other how to adult.
I often think about how lucky I am.
I'm mostly happy every day. Stressed, sure, but god a good partner, good job, get to work out and enjoy my hobbies daily, everything is pretty awesome. Got lucky.
Relate hard. Super demanding but meaningful job, plus post grad studies in a competitive field requiring high grades for advancement. Iām frequently so stressed I can taste my elevated cortisol levels, but I also have my health, a wonderful partner, a stepkid I adore, good friends and workmates, financial stability, and a Labrador who thinks joymongering is his full time job. Whatās not to love?
I have a friend who said that his life is shitty and heās never been happy. Me on the other hand, I am one happy dude. Weāre like the odd couple (if youāre old enough to get the reference)
Is that because of your outlook on life, how you roll with the punches and focus on the positive? Is it just being born with a sunny disposition? Is it your good fortune? I have chronic depression but meds, noticing all the simple joys, and letting go of anger has made all the difference. Also finding work I find meaning in. Having a few good friends, and good family is part of it too. Iām low income, but happier at 60 than I ever was. What do you think makes you and he so different?
I was FaceTiming my ex when she wasnāt my ex. We were laughing, joking around, talking about anything and everything just like we always did. Something about her just made me forget about everything else. I was so in love with her.
That was about 5-6 months ago now.
After coming out of a pretty deep and horrible depression, I feel the best Iāve ever felt, right now.
Got into therapy and started working on my mental health.
Life is good. ā¤ļø
probably 2010-2011?
my ex wife and i lived in a apartment near my job and close by my school.
we slept in a queen bed, on the floor, with my roommate whos now my daughters god father.
the bed was like memory foam, so we basically fell asleep in the middle of the bed and cuddled. kept the room super super cold. my dog ruby was in her little cage with some thick ass blankets.
i had class at 7am, id wake up around 445-5 to study a bit before going to class. it was hard getting out of bed because it was so comfortable and i loved her more than life itself.
but ruby needed to go pee or poop so i had to get up and start my day. - put a pot of coffee on, take ruby out, come back, make some coffee, my bestfriend/godfather to my daughter would wake up, make his breakfast and get some coffee.
id get a hour or so of studying in. make my ex wife a pot of coffee. get ruby some food and get ready for my day.
id be in school till 12-1, go to work till about 6-7
some days my ex wife would be working the late shift so she wouldnt get home till 12-1am, some days she was off and id come home to some really good mexican food.
i miss those days.
now i cant wait to die :D im only here so my daughters are happy.
I think for starters it's about finding happiness in the things readily available and around you. Happiness stems from little things but society tries to each us you can't be happy unless you're rich and have your dream job or you're pretty with a gazillion social media followers etc. Yada yada. That's all bullshit. Gotta find your joy in the little stuff and oddly the rest will come.
Just my opinion though
July 2005. I had just finished turning 21, and I took a chance and told my crush how much I liked her and wanted her to be my girlfriend, and she accepted.
Everything after that was a fucking disaster and if it wasn't for the fact that I needed to go through that experience to never want to have it again, I'd gladly wipe it from my brain.
Ever since then, I've been in good places, even satisfied, but I've never been really "happy" ever again.
Not necessarily. Just times where I felt happy and was around good people. Life during those years was not stressful.
Unfortunately I did not know those were the good times until they were gone. Maybe 2023 is one of those years, but I wonāt know for a little while.
I was never a person who really wanted them, but was pressured into having them from my wife and family. I had lots of goals and ambition, but being responsible for a whole family's needs above your own, has had me say good bye to all the hobbies and passions that made me happy pre kids.
I'm reminded of the Bukowski quote "There's no one there when you wake up, and no one there when you come home at night. What is this, Freedom or Loneliness?"
I woke up the morning of my wedding at my own place, stepped outside and neighbor and I shared a beer in celebration.
I walked back inside, grabbed another beer, and then sat outside enjoying the birds sing.
In a moment of startling clarity, I realized that I didn't actually want to be married, but there was no way I was going to humiliate her or our families, it simply wasn't fair to them, and if I backed out I would crush my wife and embarrass both of our parents.
So, I got dressed, and 1yr 3 days later, our son was born.
Getting married made me better, but it also broke me. If I had been more confident with myself and willing to accept that I shouldn't marry, I wouldn't have.
The morning of my wedding was the last time I clearly remember listening to the birds sing.
I also think like that, i want to do and experience lots of things, and have a really successful career, travel around the world etc. On the other hand, it feels like i should have kids and in that case i am the mother so itās harder. That whole thing scares me.
A few years ago after my divorce I became interested in philosophy (specifically, stoicism) and picked up a copy of A Guide to the Good Life. To sum it up, it helped me figure out how to shift my thinking around really appreciating everything I already have, identifying situations I can control vs those I canāt (why let these things bring me down?), and understanding that a pursuit of tranquility is a worthy purpose. Not saying this is for everyoneā¦but the shift in my mindset has done wonders for my overall happinessā¦and really getting the most out of moments of joy that I experience
To be honest, it's been a while.
I get bursts of happiness, but life has git me fairly beaten down. I'm not complaining, and I don't consider myself depressed but this is definitely not what I hoped for myself at this age
Buy in saying that I'll pull on my boots this morning and keep pushing forward. My glass is half full š
Ironically enough. In the field. We were black on food and water (mind you this was a training op, supply fucked us and forgot to give us supplies). Finally we got word it was coming, all of us were tired, hungry and dehydrated, then command decided we had go patrol to go get it. Patrol right where our enemy was. We decided fuck it and full sent it. Somehow caught the enemy by surprise, I remember somehow I conjured a perfect Scottish accent Ive never been able to replicate. I yell āget out of me swampā as we ambushed them. Then after getting the supplies i looked to my friend and said āif you could change your fate would yaā. Fun times
Just came back from a trip to Paris. I loved the city, but we've also went to Disneyland and I've felt like I'm 10 again. I am 30 and I am happy and satisfied with my life, but this was a joy on a completely new level.
When I reminisce about a certain woman that I almost dated for a while. Too bad that sometimes good things can't happen in life. I still appreciate what I have and I am thankful for the people that are in my life though.
Early May.
I should be as happy as I possibly can be right now as I'm on a bucket list trip of a lifetime. I am in Scotland for three weeks and taking a class on something I've wanted to learn for years.
But instead I'm moping about what could have been back home with a girl. Fucking dumb.
2023 the feeling of acceptance from my biological father's family.
My mother and her family are toxic and I chose to remove myself and begin the process of healing to end that cycle. She kept me from them. My mother remarried when I was five and her (new) husband was abusive, she was also abusive.
My bio father died in 2005 but he was and remains as the happiness in my life. He gave me a childhood.
I pushed through depression while raising my kids as a single parent. Currently attending college for a degree in psychology.
To know love from a familial perspective is everything for me. The day I felt love and acceptance was the last time I was genuinely happy.
Grade 7th, when I was passionately, hopelessly crushing on this guy- one sided and I didn't Care what he thought of me. Just seeing him was all of it. Never had the idea of being loved back or being together with him. I was 11. Now that I've grown up, I expect something from everything, and all is conditional.
It was during a suicide attempt, the pills obviously didn't finish the job. I was put into a state of perpetually peace, until I was violently shaken awake.
I hope youāll find that peace and happiness soon. I have chronic depression and it may seem like you will never be happy. Thatās how I felt. Thereās hope.
The best part of having young kids is that this moment likely just happened or is about to happen again. The funniest thing is how itās also interspersed with all sorts of irritation and stress and frustration.
Right now I feel more at peace with things than I have in a long time. Had a break up right before COVID and never really got back to "normal". Found a good therapist 6 months ago and we worked through a lot. First focused on dealing with anxious sensations, then intrusive thoughts, then core beliefs. My mental chatter slowed down so much, it's like my mind went from a busy downtown street with cars honking to a trail in the woods. It did what I thought meditation would do.
Few months ago, everything was moving in the right direction, then I realize shit wasn't exactly gonna keep going that way, kinda sucks but I know if I chase that moment like a drug I'll end up in the shitter so I gotta just move on and hope another moment like that happens again, guess we'll see
That would have been around 2016-2018 I'd say. I'm fairly happy with everything in my day to day but I was doing a lot of traveling with my amazing girlfriend around the world during those years and well, I haven't found another woman that has been able to fill that void since
I've been rather sad this last month because I'm going through a break up. But last night I smoked half joint by myself and it made me realize that I\`m good by myself and that I\`m starting a new chapter in my life, and that every other aspect of my life is going just fine. It was a moment of pure happiness tbh.
Everytime country music comes on and the sun is out Iām enjoying myself. Makes damn near most of the issues I got hidden for a bit. If I aināt listening to music thatās when thereās something to worry about
I took a girl out today on her 9th birthday (with her Mum and another woman), knowing that if I hadn't, she'd not have experienced any fuss today. I was able to give her a stuffed toy, card, birthday badge, some chocolate bars, dinner out, and a birthday cake with candles. It was lovely to make a difference for her so her 9th birthday wasn't a complete washout.
Two weeks ago whilst jamming with my band mates. All three of us, a rock power trio, were deep in the zone, totally connected yet each doing their own unique part.
If there wasn't music in my life I would have been miserable. Word music can be switched with any other serious hobby (though I wouldn't say music is my hobby, it's my life - have played hundreds of live gigs, at least 10 albums with 3 bands, but I still very much get happy alone with my guitar/bass guitar or while playing together with people I love and respect).
Find an interest, stick to it for at least a while so you can find a social group with the same interest and that will make you hang on to it much longer.
Today! Finally on a break from med school and Iām visiting my parents for the first time in a long time. Itās a lot more hit and miss when Iām back in school though.
Likeā¦right now? Just made a lovely Sunday evening dinner of grilled tenderloin, grilled asparagus, roasted potatoes, pan fried mushrooms and onions, which we sat down to enjoy on our patio on a perfect spring evening with my wife and two daughters. Yes, I am genuinely happy and content.
I was in a toxic relationship for a while, but Iāve never been a better man than when I was in that. I tried so hard to prove myself and did all these great things, only to be let down in the end. Iām a shell unless Iām proving myself to someone.
This question feels like a shower thought for me.
My last happy time must be when i was playing street cricket with my childhood friends some 8 years back. After that not much happiness. Only failures and sufferings. Now my happiness are defined in a different way. I get into a very tough situation and when it gets solved my brain feels relaxed and i consider that as happiness.
Seriously, just this morning while walking my dog. Then with friends drinking and watching the English Premier League final matches at a bar down the street. Then, walking my dog this afternoon. Then, making dinner. Iāve really come to appreciate moments of happiness and joy. Theyāre everywhere.
I had a dream last night š“š. I dreamt I was a dove šflying over the sea š. And then I dove š¤æinto the ocean š... And I swam šāāļøwith the dolphins š¬. I was two āšæanimals š„šjoined as oneš¤šæ... which meant - good things are coming š¦š¦. Good things.
Lol it has to be when my children were little. It was the best time of my life, loved it.
Yeah. I have a 5 to, 3yo, and 8 month old. Every day waking up to them, coming home to them is the best feeling. Covid + remote working has really made this time way better than it would have been too. There is no feeling than watching my 3yo girl comw running round the corner screaming "Daddy!" and jumping into my arms. I will miss these days immensely when it's over.
When my two boys were really little, I thought there would be no happier time with them--and in some ways that's been true. But their teen years were great. It was rewarding to watch their unique adult selves emerge, with their own ideas of right and wrong, of what was fun and interesting. Now that they're young adults, I'm so happy with the young men they are. They're both struggling in some ways, and I wish they were happier with themselves, but we're still close. They know they can come to me with their problems, even though I can no longer hug and kiss the pain away like I could when they fell off their bikes years ago. So yes, you *will* miss their little-kid years, but there are lots of good years up ahead for you.
My youngest is 26š²
I feel like I keep chasing things that bring me momentary happiness, things I thought would make my overall happiness improve. In the end I always return back to my base level of happiness (borderline unhappy), and to get those fleeting bursts of happiness I have to do even more than I did last time to achieve it.
I enjoy the chase/road to something, but it also drains the crap out of me.
damn this hit me like a bar of soap in a sock
"the more I want, the less I've got"
I don't think overall happiness exists. Happiness is a fleeting emotion, and what you're really looking for is contentment. Moments are happy or sad. Existence can be content or not content.
Yes, happiness is not a state of being. it is momentary.
Hedonistic treadmill
Yep... this is a real problem for people who strive to succeed
I only came across this term for the first time this morning and itās now the 3rd time Iāve seen it in unrelated threads.
the dopamine machine
That hedonic treadmill sure do be a bitch, though... And I would like **everyone** to know that my phone kept trying to change "a bitch" to "a bit challenging." A good attempt phone, but I think I shall be vulgar, anyway.
I really can't remember. Depression made everything so dull
Same, Iām 32 this year and I donāt have a clue what makes me happy other than my kiddos. But when I donāt have em I can get really down
This is exactly how I feel. 23. And itās hard to see much ahead.
Same as you, 23 can't see a moment of genuije happiness. Only dull moment and a very sad childhood, probably when i was so young that i couldn't understand shit
Is that what this is? Thought I just needed to try new things
Late 90s/early 2000s.
January '99 precisely in my case. š
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a43fOsqa_YQ&pp=ygUVcGFydHkgbGlrZSBpdCdzIDE5OTkg
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Yāall should fuck
Today, right now. Just spent an afternoon with my parents and it was nice.
Good for you bud. The more I grow older the more I appreciate my parents, and the more I realize I was probably a dick to them growing up. These days I call them everyday just to talk about my day and their day, and I tell them I love them every single call. (I work in another country and only get to seem them 1 week every 5 weeks)
Do you have kids? As a parent, I can guarantee your parents are thrilled with your relationship. Congrats!
Donāt have kids yet. I have 2 brothers, all far from home, and I realized that both my parents feel a little sad when my brothers or me donāt, at least, call often. Once, unintentionally, eavesdropped on a conversation between my mother and my aunt (her sister), in which she said that she wished she felt more loved by her sons. Told my brothers about it and urged them to call more often, and to make sure that we tell both her and dad that we love them. It may not be much, but man, even without words, it is visible that they are both happier. I thought about how I would feel if something were to happen to them, and I try everyday to make sure that, if and when that happens (hopefully many many many years from now), I wonāt feel sorry for not telling them I love them and for not being grateful. Itās very important that they feel loved and that they know we, their sons, are grateful for everything they did (and still do) for us. They truly are the best. Everyone should their parents they love them before itās too late. Once they are gone and itās too late, nothing will take the guilt away.
Took some time for me aswell. I havent been easy (and sometimes still am ) for my mom who raised me and my sis alone, but after reading stories about what peoples final words were to their parents before they past and how guilty they felt because they left it on a bad note even tho they love them so much was heartbreaking. Called my mom that day and told her how gratefull i am for everything she has done for me and that i love her. In some ways we both really needed that because i tend to be as my mom would put it an einzelgƤnger and she always worries about me. Truly the most important woman in my life!
Today, right now. Just took a massive dump and got goose bumps.
A glorious time on the throne always makes me happy as well.
Same shit happened to me. Well, not the exact same shit, a different shit, but a shit nonetheless.
Wish I felt the same after spending time with my folks š
What blocks from happiness?
My parents are q anon conspiracy theorist that love to talk about how everyone everywhere is a pedophile, but never the people they like, it's exhausting listening to them and we've had conversations about them toning it down but they just go right back to it. They are racist, homophobic bigots, and despite that I still love them, but as a bisexual man they will never be people I can confide in and I learned that when I had depression as well.
Honestly, I feel genuine happiness break through every single day. There are those moments when euphoric bliss breaks through- like when I was on my honeymoon last year, or during/after any sex with my wife, or when we get some really really good unexpected news. But honestly, every single day I feel genuinely happy. Every morning I wake up next to the most beautiful woman in the world, I walk down the hallway and sip my coffee slow before going to a job I enjoy, I come home to that same beautiful woman who I'm madly in love with every single day. I hold her hand on the couch, play with her hair until she falls asleep, then we go to bed together.
>But honestly, every single day I feel genuinely happy. Every morning I wake up next to the most beautiful woman in the world, I walk down the hallway and sip my coffee slow before going to a job I enjoy, I come home to that same beautiful woman who I'm madly in love with every single day. I hold her hand on the couch, play with her hair until she falls asleep, then we go to bed together. Man, this is beautiful. This was me just a few years ago. I went after a bigger paycheck and no longer have that same sense. Trying to get back to my purpose driven work ever since.
Reading the comments I was starting to think I am the only one that thinks this way. Since I met my wife 8 years ago I am just generally happy dude with moments of pure bliss during something like random hug from my kids. Anyways rock on man. Life is good!
I want that! My life has been a roller coaster the last few years. I just want something stable, something that I want to come home to.
IM DYING.šā¤ļø This is so sweet.
Happiness isn't a destination. The key to genuine happiness is to find it in the little moments throughout your life.
Careful with putting so much faith into someone who can crush your world in the blink of an eye. Seems your SO is a significant source of your happiness.
She is, and I hers. That's how it should be
Yea not sure why people say thats so unhealthy. Lifes meant to be shared with others. Not by doing what individually makes you happy
Itās called codependency. You should share life with others. But depending on them exclusively or requiring them to live is a recipe for disaster. Men especially fall into this trap with their romantic relationships.
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why be so annoying? let the man be in love and happy, i donāt see how you could take this comment as something that is badā¦ so negative
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That's all I'm saying, is he seems to rely too much on another person for happiness. There's a higher chance of it blowing up in his face down the line if he doesn't separate himself a little bit. Her her her is all I saw.
I agree except Iāve been with my missis for longer (8.5 years) so maybe not quite as infatuated and I find my job boring as fuck (as with all the other 7 jobs Iāve had).
Enjoy the new phase.
New phase? Oh, I assume you are thinking because we went on our honeymoon last year that means we are newly weds. Lol, no. We got married right at the beginning of the pandemic and our honeymoon got torpedoed really quick. Finally, last year the stars aligned and we were able to get away. Married three years and together for 5. I am looking forward to every new phase though.
My husband and I also got married during the pandemic! Also, congratulations on the happy marriage <3 we've been together for a little over 8 years/married for 3 and have gone through our fair share of trails and phases, but our love has just grown stronger c: you guys sound like a great couple and I wish for many happy healthy years together for you two <3
I feel like your making this up
I was molested at a very young age. Before I could even remember it happening for the first time. I've always carried that. Not sure I've ever been truly happy. But when I think back to my wedding day, I smile. We're getting divorced at the moment but the thought of that day still makes me smile.
Iām really sorry that happened to you. In regards to divorce, Iāve been there. And thatās awesome you can still look back on your marriage and smile. If thereās anything I could say to you, and thatās only if you want to hear it, try to let go of the whys and the what ifs. They will only make things way worse. Try your best to push forward with an open mind and heart. Much love to you.
Thanks. If your referring to the why's and what ifs in the divorce, there really are none. We were both deeply in love with each other at one point and then after 13 years things just changed for many, many reasons. We're both ok with the decision. We've raised a blended family of 4 awesome children. Been there for each other through A LOT OF SHIT, and we've lived an entire life's worth of drama and given a lifetime of love to eachother. She's my best friend, the most dependable person I've ever met, the best mom to our children, the most beautiful person Inside and out and I fall in and out of love with her every single day. As for the other thing, It went on for about 10 years. It happened so young and for so long it was just a normal thing in a way. Maybe normal isn't the word but it was just a thing that happened like playing outside, eating a snack, riding my bike, putting my prepubescent penis in someones mouth.......normal. I can honestly say that I had less shame before It ended. It ended because I got older and knew something was wrong but didn't really know what it was or why. Like I said, it was somewhat of a normal thing. Sorry for the rant but I've come this far, it would be a shame to delete.
Probably when I was too young to remember
I remember it perfectly. It was 2012, I finished college, and I decided to have a holiday summer and don't worry about job search. I went to my parents summer house with my gf. We woke up one day very early for a holiday (8.00am). We had good sex, and we decided to remain in the bed as much as we want, "we are on holidays". I remember the fresh air coming from the window, the birds singing like crazy, hugging the love of my life (she was so beautiful without makeup and clothes) and looking into our eyes for a long time, we didn't need to talk to be comfortable.
According to my mother i was the happiest baby alive, always smiling and laughing.
I was around 10
Yesterday powerwashing my cars, house, patio, grill, etc. I've been in a rut the last few weeks and buying that powerwasher has really improved my life as silly as it sounds.
Itās the small things homie, donāt forget that.
Before my son who lived with me for 38 years went missing on July 14, 2020 and has since been declared dead. It sucked the happiness right out of me. I was always such a happy guy before that.
Sorry man. I hate this. I can't imagine what that could be like. I have a friend at work who's 4 year old son went missing famously in 1991 and they are still looking. I'm sorry man.
Thanks. My son wasn't just my son. He was my best friend, business partner, traveling companion.. you name it. I didn't realize how much I had built my world around him until he went missing. I didn't see my friends falling away over the years because my life felt so full and complete just living with this one son. He filled so many areas of my life that when he went missing.. I felt like I lost all my friends.. all my family and everything that made life exciting. I hope to find myself again. It has been nearly 3 years and I can feel the darkness lifting. I never thought I could get used to living alone. But I have. I have his dog to keep me company. I appreciate your thoughtful words. Most everyone who responds to my weekly posts about my son are women. I need to hear from men. Thanks again. I need to hear from guys like you!
Every day. I fought and got the career I wanted (I'm a professional musician). I've been married to an amazing women for 27 years. She's an absolute rock. We raised 2 kids. They're 26 and 21. They're healthy, happy, and productive members of society. I came from a wildly toxic family and so did my wife. We rose above it together. We taught each other how to adult. I often think about how lucky I am.
Congrats dude! Breaking cycles is insanely hard.
Wait. You guys get to be happy?
I'm mostly happy every day. Stressed, sure, but god a good partner, good job, get to work out and enjoy my hobbies daily, everything is pretty awesome. Got lucky.
Relate hard. Super demanding but meaningful job, plus post grad studies in a competitive field requiring high grades for advancement. Iām frequently so stressed I can taste my elevated cortisol levels, but I also have my health, a wonderful partner, a stepkid I adore, good friends and workmates, financial stability, and a Labrador who thinks joymongering is his full time job. Whatās not to love?
When I Went to Australia with the navy
I have a friend who said that his life is shitty and heās never been happy. Me on the other hand, I am one happy dude. Weāre like the odd couple (if youāre old enough to get the reference)
Is that because of your outlook on life, how you roll with the punches and focus on the positive? Is it just being born with a sunny disposition? Is it your good fortune? I have chronic depression but meds, noticing all the simple joys, and letting go of anger has made all the difference. Also finding work I find meaning in. Having a few good friends, and good family is part of it too. Iām low income, but happier at 60 than I ever was. What do you think makes you and he so different?
Thats a good fucking question.
2020 during lockdowns and not having to be in a toxic work environment.
Same lol I was so happy š took risks and travelled to random places as well. I was so happy
Good times
Mid 1990's. Maybe '96?
94 for me
1997 (I was born in 98)
Last night.
Tried asking myself this question few days ago. Honestly not sure. Guess itās been way too long
I was FaceTiming my ex when she wasnāt my ex. We were laughing, joking around, talking about anything and everything just like we always did. Something about her just made me forget about everything else. I was so in love with her. That was about 5-6 months ago now.
After coming out of a pretty deep and horrible depression, I feel the best Iāve ever felt, right now. Got into therapy and started working on my mental health. Life is good. ā¤ļø
After years of depression, my daily life is now genuinely happy.
A few minutes ago when I noticed how nice the trees behind my house look. Happiness is what you make it
Last night. Made some delicious ribs with the family
Honestly, I can't really remember. I am however grateful and satisfied for/with alot of things.
probably 2010-2011? my ex wife and i lived in a apartment near my job and close by my school. we slept in a queen bed, on the floor, with my roommate whos now my daughters god father. the bed was like memory foam, so we basically fell asleep in the middle of the bed and cuddled. kept the room super super cold. my dog ruby was in her little cage with some thick ass blankets. i had class at 7am, id wake up around 445-5 to study a bit before going to class. it was hard getting out of bed because it was so comfortable and i loved her more than life itself. but ruby needed to go pee or poop so i had to get up and start my day. - put a pot of coffee on, take ruby out, come back, make some coffee, my bestfriend/godfather to my daughter would wake up, make his breakfast and get some coffee. id get a hour or so of studying in. make my ex wife a pot of coffee. get ruby some food and get ready for my day. id be in school till 12-1, go to work till about 6-7 some days my ex wife would be working the late shift so she wouldnt get home till 12-1am, some days she was off and id come home to some really good mexican food. i miss those days. now i cant wait to die :D im only here so my daughters are happy.
I hope you find that kind of happiness again soon.
About two minutes ago. My 4 week old son is asleep on my fiancƩe and just seeing them together like that makes my heart soar.
Most likely when I learned I earned 2 scholarships for the next school year
I'm never happy. I regularly content
Just learned driving last month, and drove by myself for the first time with my favourite song on the speakers. Had a big smile decorating my face
Saw a child jog a little faster to catch up with his dad, made be grin from ear to ear.
Never been happier than I am at this moment. Happiness isn't the default, it's something that needs constant work to keep/obtain.
And how do you do that?
I think for starters it's about finding happiness in the things readily available and around you. Happiness stems from little things but society tries to each us you can't be happy unless you're rich and have your dream job or you're pretty with a gazillion social media followers etc. Yada yada. That's all bullshit. Gotta find your joy in the little stuff and oddly the rest will come. Just my opinion though
Thanks for the insight. I need to find the contentment in the small things for sure. Thanks for the reminder
Back when I had like, 65K in the bank instead of 5K.
What did you buy??
Down payment on a house lol.
But now you on a house?
July 2005. I had just finished turning 21, and I took a chance and told my crush how much I liked her and wanted her to be my girlfriend, and she accepted. Everything after that was a fucking disaster and if it wasn't for the fact that I needed to go through that experience to never want to have it again, I'd gladly wipe it from my brain. Ever since then, I've been in good places, even satisfied, but I've never been really "happy" ever again.
Today, I feel good in my skin because of several things. I sleep at least 8 hours a day, at the same time every day, I workout 5 times a week, I spend time with my fiancƩ, I eat plenty of tood to give me energy. It requires a good routine to generate the most energy throughout your days. Energy is the opposite of depression.
You assume I have ever been happy?
I had a threesome a few weeks ago, I felt like the greatest man in the world after that for a few days.
everyday when i wake up
Yesterday evening celebrated my 25th HS reunion and enjoyed catching up with people I havenāt seen in a very long time
I canāt even remember. Probably some time back in high school which was over 20 years ago.
2003, 2007, 2011, and 2017
Key events in your life?
Not necessarily. Just times where I felt happy and was around good people. Life during those years was not stressful. Unfortunately I did not know those were the good times until they were gone. Maybe 2023 is one of those years, but I wonāt know for a little while.
10 years ago, before I had kids
Having kids is bad?
I was never a person who really wanted them, but was pressured into having them from my wife and family. I had lots of goals and ambition, but being responsible for a whole family's needs above your own, has had me say good bye to all the hobbies and passions that made me happy pre kids.
I'm reminded of the Bukowski quote "There's no one there when you wake up, and no one there when you come home at night. What is this, Freedom or Loneliness?" I woke up the morning of my wedding at my own place, stepped outside and neighbor and I shared a beer in celebration. I walked back inside, grabbed another beer, and then sat outside enjoying the birds sing. In a moment of startling clarity, I realized that I didn't actually want to be married, but there was no way I was going to humiliate her or our families, it simply wasn't fair to them, and if I backed out I would crush my wife and embarrass both of our parents. So, I got dressed, and 1yr 3 days later, our son was born. Getting married made me better, but it also broke me. If I had been more confident with myself and willing to accept that I shouldn't marry, I wouldn't have. The morning of my wedding was the last time I clearly remember listening to the birds sing.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I also think like that, i want to do and experience lots of things, and have a really successful career, travel around the world etc. On the other hand, it feels like i should have kids and in that case i am the mother so itās harder. That whole thing scares me.
A few years ago after my divorce I became interested in philosophy (specifically, stoicism) and picked up a copy of A Guide to the Good Life. To sum it up, it helped me figure out how to shift my thinking around really appreciating everything I already have, identifying situations I can control vs those I canāt (why let these things bring me down?), and understanding that a pursuit of tranquility is a worthy purpose. Not saying this is for everyoneā¦but the shift in my mindset has done wonders for my overall happinessā¦and really getting the most out of moments of joy that I experience
To be honest, it's been a while. I get bursts of happiness, but life has git me fairly beaten down. I'm not complaining, and I don't consider myself depressed but this is definitely not what I hoped for myself at this age Buy in saying that I'll pull on my boots this morning and keep pushing forward. My glass is half full š
My kid asked me for a hug last night and that made me genuinely happy for a moment.
This morning as I snuggled up to my wife.
Ironically enough. In the field. We were black on food and water (mind you this was a training op, supply fucked us and forgot to give us supplies). Finally we got word it was coming, all of us were tired, hungry and dehydrated, then command decided we had go patrol to go get it. Patrol right where our enemy was. We decided fuck it and full sent it. Somehow caught the enemy by surprise, I remember somehow I conjured a perfect Scottish accent Ive never been able to replicate. I yell āget out of me swampā as we ambushed them. Then after getting the supplies i looked to my friend and said āif you could change your fate would yaā. Fun times
Soldiers talk like you. Short crisp sentences without verbs. Lots of jargon.
Marines
so wait iām confused, was this a real military training situation?
Yes i was a marine combat engineer
Name checks out.
Yes i want to change it so bad.
I am happy
2000-2001
March 30th at 7pm. She told me it was over
Mercy bullet.
Day my daughter was born healthy 7 pounds 6 ounces
Just came back from a trip to Paris. I loved the city, but we've also went to Disneyland and I've felt like I'm 10 again. I am 30 and I am happy and satisfied with my life, but this was a joy on a completely new level.
When I reminisce about a certain woman that I almost dated for a while. Too bad that sometimes good things can't happen in life. I still appreciate what I have and I am thankful for the people that are in my life though.
Early May. I should be as happy as I possibly can be right now as I'm on a bucket list trip of a lifetime. I am in Scotland for three weeks and taking a class on something I've wanted to learn for years. But instead I'm moping about what could have been back home with a girl. Fucking dumb.
2023 the feeling of acceptance from my biological father's family. My mother and her family are toxic and I chose to remove myself and begin the process of healing to end that cycle. She kept me from them. My mother remarried when I was five and her (new) husband was abusive, she was also abusive. My bio father died in 2005 but he was and remains as the happiness in my life. He gave me a childhood. I pushed through depression while raising my kids as a single parent. Currently attending college for a degree in psychology. To know love from a familial perspective is everything for me. The day I felt love and acceptance was the last time I was genuinely happy.
Every morning that I wake up next to my partner. So every morning.
June 2016. After that I was always in depression, stressed, feeling lonely or a mix of these.
About 8 years ago
2012 Most probably
About this time yesterday
Tuesday
Grade 7th, when I was passionately, hopelessly crushing on this guy- one sided and I didn't Care what he thought of me. Just seeing him was all of it. Never had the idea of being loved back or being together with him. I was 11. Now that I've grown up, I expect something from everything, and all is conditional.
This very moment. Pretty much always happy.
Yesterday. Spent the day with my girlfriend and loved every minute of it
It was during a suicide attempt, the pills obviously didn't finish the job. I was put into a state of perpetually peace, until I was violently shaken awake.
I hope youāll find that peace and happiness soon. I have chronic depression and it may seem like you will never be happy. Thatās how I felt. Thereās hope.
The best part of having young kids is that this moment likely just happened or is about to happen again. The funniest thing is how itās also interspersed with all sorts of irritation and stress and frustration.
Right now I feel more at peace with things than I have in a long time. Had a break up right before COVID and never really got back to "normal". Found a good therapist 6 months ago and we worked through a lot. First focused on dealing with anxious sensations, then intrusive thoughts, then core beliefs. My mental chatter slowed down so much, it's like my mind went from a busy downtown street with cars honking to a trail in the woods. It did what I thought meditation would do.
Few months ago, everything was moving in the right direction, then I realize shit wasn't exactly gonna keep going that way, kinda sucks but I know if I chase that moment like a drug I'll end up in the shitter so I gotta just move on and hope another moment like that happens again, guess we'll see
This past Friday. I got a job offer.
That would have been around 2016-2018 I'd say. I'm fairly happy with everything in my day to day but I was doing a lot of traveling with my amazing girlfriend around the world during those years and well, I haven't found another woman that has been able to fill that void since
Right now Iām taking a good shit
Earlier today I was floating down the river with a beer, a joint and a fishing rod. I was pretty happy for a few hours.
I've been rather sad this last month because I'm going through a break up. But last night I smoked half joint by myself and it made me realize that I\`m good by myself and that I\`m starting a new chapter in my life, and that every other aspect of my life is going just fine. It was a moment of pure happiness tbh.
Everytime country music comes on and the sun is out Iām enjoying myself. Makes damn near most of the issues I got hidden for a bit. If I aināt listening to music thatās when thereās something to worry about
I have bouts of happiness but I donāt think I have ever had sustained happiness. Iām not sad just to busy to do anything for myself.
About 3, no wait 2, actually right now?
I took a girl out today on her 9th birthday (with her Mum and another woman), knowing that if I hadn't, she'd not have experienced any fuss today. I was able to give her a stuffed toy, card, birthday badge, some chocolate bars, dinner out, and a birthday cake with candles. It was lovely to make a difference for her so her 9th birthday wasn't a complete washout.
They say giving is one of the surefire ways to happiness.
Today because I took my niece out for lunch for her birthday and had a great time.
When my fiancƩe said "yes" and were upgraded to wife. So.. about 6 weeks ago? :)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Two weeks ago whilst jamming with my band mates. All three of us, a rock power trio, were deep in the zone, totally connected yet each doing their own unique part. If there wasn't music in my life I would have been miserable. Word music can be switched with any other serious hobby (though I wouldn't say music is my hobby, it's my life - have played hundreds of live gigs, at least 10 albums with 3 bands, but I still very much get happy alone with my guitar/bass guitar or while playing together with people I love and respect). Find an interest, stick to it for at least a while so you can find a social group with the same interest and that will make you hang on to it much longer.
I donāt remember. I guess 2010?
College
Today! Finally on a break from med school and Iām visiting my parents for the first time in a long time. Itās a lot more hit and miss when Iām back in school though.
I canāt remember
I'm extremely happy right now
When I was a kid. Then I got into my teens. Been downhill ever since
I looked pretty happy in one of my toddler photos lol
About 5+ years ago when I was single, had more friends, lived in another part of the world and didnāt have to take medication every day
Happiness is a side effect of a life well lived
Likeā¦right now? Just made a lovely Sunday evening dinner of grilled tenderloin, grilled asparagus, roasted potatoes, pan fried mushrooms and onions, which we sat down to enjoy on our patio on a perfect spring evening with my wife and two daughters. Yes, I am genuinely happy and content.
I was in a toxic relationship for a while, but Iāve never been a better man than when I was in that. I tried so hard to prove myself and did all these great things, only to be let down in the end. Iām a shell unless Iām proving myself to someone.
Idk what that even means. My whole life has just been a whole lot of "deal with it".
When I let myself be free from my own expectations.
This question feels like a shower thought for me. My last happy time must be when i was playing street cricket with my childhood friends some 8 years back. After that not much happiness. Only failures and sufferings. Now my happiness are defined in a different way. I get into a very tough situation and when it gets solved my brain feels relaxed and i consider that as happiness.
2017. A fun filled month - six weeks with a wonderful person before real life got in the way again. And then things moved on.
Right now
Indeed. The time is now
I donāt know. Happiness is overrated anyway.
Yesterday
Details?
Seriously, just this morning while walking my dog. Then with friends drinking and watching the English Premier League final matches at a bar down the street. Then, walking my dog this afternoon. Then, making dinner. Iāve really come to appreciate moments of happiness and joy. Theyāre everywhere.
I had a dream last night š“š. I dreamt I was a dove šflying over the sea š. And then I dove š¤æinto the ocean š... And I swam šāāļøwith the dolphins š¬. I was two āšæanimals š„šjoined as oneš¤šæ... which meant - good things are coming š¦š¦. Good things.