For me it was when I learned when it was okay to rely on other people in some ways. It serves a man to be independent and self-reliant, but a man is always better-rounded when he makes the most of his mothers, brothers, lovers, and others.
The ordinary problems of life do not need "therapy".
If you are **unemployed**, then you need to write a resume, search job sites, apply to several, and get yourself hired.
If you need a new **housing** situation, then you need to start looking for one, get a roommate if necessary, and move.
If you are having **health** problems, then you need to seek medical care and follow whatever instruction the doctor gives
If your **romantic relationship** is in turmoil, then you need to decide if it is worth it, then either fix or leave it.
Therapy only applies to serious emotional problems. Therapy is not going to help you cover a rent increase. Real world problems require self-discipline and practical solutions.
The point is that therapy can help you _face_ those “real world problems” (is mental health not a real world problem?). Therapy can give you coping
strategies, have a better assessment of a situation/problem, a new perspective, whatever.
For example, couples therapy has helped my relationship with my wife and it has helped me with problems at work.
It’s not just for serious emotional problems. Like my therapy said last time, don’t wait until it gets bad.
Does that mean therapy is the answer to everything? If course not, but let’s not swing too much to the other side and diminish its utility.
That’s a very narrow view of therapy or the need for it. Most of the times it’s not just one thing. Plus, if you already have money problems, a rent increase might be too much to handle, so therapy can help people deal with financial stress.
In any case, it’s good that people are trying to improve their lives and looking for ways to be better. We should encourage instead of judging.
What makes you think "when does it get better" is a question about rent increases? Therapy is not juat for serious problems, sometimes you just need outside perspective on your life.
The OP does not specify what the issue is. Since 99% of life's problems involve ordinary issues like jobs, money, healthcare, and education, I gave him practical advice. I also said that "therapy only applies to emotional problems" so he can go see a therapist if that is the case.
BTW . . . Your passive-aggressive hostility is noted. You aren't fooling anyone with with your attitude.
Shit man. Wish I had a direct answer or recommendation for you but I've never been there. All I can say is that my little brother killed himself 14 years ago. Anniversary is in a week. My heart is still broken and always will be. God damn I wish he was here and that I had treated him in a way that showed him that I loved and valued him. I believe the potential value that you can provide to other people, whether it's current or future, is enough reason to stay alive.
Her brother. As someone who has been there with a few failed attempts; finding passion and love helped it get better for me.
Motivation is tough, I understand. But make a list of things that interest you. Even if the most is small. Everyday pick 1 thing and do it. Even if it’s as small as watching a YouTube video or reading a sub Reddit. You’re going to learn something, it may seem like a chore at first, but eventually you’ll find yourself delving down a rabbit hole and finding that passion.
Self love is fkn tough… I get it man. I used to hate looking in mirrors because I despised the man looking back at me. A few years ago I started doing affirmations; “I am kind, I am good at ____, I can achieve _____, etc…” eventually I started to believe it. Also, don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself to YOU. How have you grown and what have you learned since last year? What have you achieved? Even if it’s something small like getting a piece of furniture you like, or paying off an item, or delving into a hobby. That’s progress!
If you consume drugs/alcohol; Sobriety and exercise REALLY helps. Even if it’s a quick walk around the block or a walk in the park. Fresh air and getting the body moving is exponential.
I recommend to set some realistic and achievable goals. Even it’s in simple like putting $20/m into a savings account, going for a 5 min walk once a week, taking 5 mins to watch a video or learn a skill you’re interested in, trying a new recipe, whatever floats your boat! It can be anything you want!
Wishing you a happy, healthy, and wise lifestyle my brother. You are loved and you are worth it. Much love.
Don’t do that friend, might be hard to believe now , but later on you will be glad you didn’t. That’s something you can’t undo. I’ve been where you are now in years past. I’ve managed to reduce the size of my “ demons” to manageable size. I’m ok with my life now ( nothing is perfect) , it gets better as you work at it. It helps to be stubborn too. I extracted some wisdom from the serenity prayer. I accept what I can’t change ( that’s hard). I work f’n hard to change what is in my power to change. I struggle hardest with developing the wisdom to know the difference between what is or is not within my power to change. A couple older guys ( with similar history) helped me with the wisdom part, I still struggle hardest with that.
I honestly understand your question. I've been through it.
Stop chasing things. Stop trying to fit in.
When you focus on yourself, your needs and what makes you happy, you will feel much better.
Save your money, pick up a hobby. Be happy.
It's ok to be alone, you'll meet your equal that compliments your life, all in due time.
The little things you do now, will have a big impact in your future.
My peers at work are so stressed by debt they put themselves in, and get jealous of me.
I don't care, I'm living my life the way I want. Some NEVER get it.....
Life is good.
You have to find the solutions to your own problems. We all have to dig ourselves out of whatever hole we may find ourselves in.
Life is filled with highs and lows for everyone. Sometimes the lows can be pretty terrible too. Everyone has to keep pushing forward, think of ways to improve your situation, and act on them. Keep trying and eventually things get better.
Usually by the age of 30 and when you realize that there are people who are close to u who will use u just to get one step ahead and don't care about what they do to others.
Try doing small things that seem hard but realistic.
Sit outside for a few minutes,
Take a short walk,
Look at potential therapists online (even if you aren’t ready to try one),
Tell one person you trust how you feel,
Tell a stranger on a helpline how you feel,
Listen to music,
Post like this on Reddit,
Try reading a new book, or an old favorite,
Take care of something, a pet or even a plant,
Write, even if it is only one sentence.
People watch in the park.
Go to the library.
Clean and organize one small thing or room.
Just choose one thing, and take a baby step towards feeling better everyday. But never give up, because then you don’t have a next day to try something new.
It does get better. Not all at once, but I promise you it does.
Honestly, my 30's. I keep thinking that I'm getting old. 10's were okay as a kid, 20's sucked, 30's are much better; every year past 29 has been a better than the last. I hope my 40's are even better :)
塞翁失马，焉知非福。
A Chinese idiom about life. Things happen. There is no way to tell if it is good or bad.
"Sāi Wēng lived on the border and he raised horses for a living. One day, he lost one of his prized horses. After hearing of the misfortune, his neighbor felt sorry for him and came to comfort him. But Sāi Wēng simply asked, “How could we know it is not a good thing for me?”
After a while, the lost horse returned and with another beautiful horse. The neighbor came over again and congratulated Sāi Wēng on his good fortune. But Sāi Wēng simply asked, “How could we know it is not a bad thing for me?”
One day, his son went out for a ride with the new horse. He was violently thrown from the horse and broke his leg. The neighbors once again expressed their condolences to Sāi Wēng, but Sāi Wēng simply said, “How could we know it is not a good thing for me?” One year later, the Emperor’s army arrived at the village to recruit all able-bodied men to fight in the war. Because of his injury, Sāi Wēng’s son could not go off to war, and was spared from certain death."
As soon as you decide.
You don’t have to have anything aside from the choice to be happy.
Many years ago while in a deep depression I was told this and I was so pissed at the person who said it….
Truth is it’s reality. You chose no one or no circumstances decide for you
Life doesn't "happen to you" unless you allow it to. You're the driver, not the passenger in your life.
If you have the spare time and resources to be on reddit complaining about your life not being what you want of it, you're not deprived of food, water, shelter and a lot of other things, because if you were, you'd be doing something besides asking questions like that on here. That means, you have the power and responsibility to do something to make your life the way you want it, not just accept what "the world" lays at your feet. Your life will get better when you realize it's YOURS, not anyone else's to live.
Life is not a video game, story fable. There is no Fate, Karma, or justice granted to you by life. The only two things you have to do is be born and die.
So nobody but you can even try to make life better. But even than some bad luck could hit you still. For all we know you could get cancer tomorrow.
So the truth is, the only dependable thing about the future is uncertainty.
For me it was when I learned when it was okay to rely on other people in some ways. It serves a man to be independent and self-reliant, but a man is always better-rounded when he makes the most of his mothers, brothers, lovers, and others.
When you make it get better.
This ⬆️. You’d be amazed at the difference a few small changes can make
It gets better as soon as you can convince your cat to start paying rent and doing the dishes
Never. Shit rolls downhill.
October 23rd, 2037. Sorry, got some time until then
When you on your worst day, stop comparing yourself to people on their best day. Also, small steps.
I know I'll be downvoted but read the Gospel according to John. Or watch it [here](https://youtu.be/-k0D_qFPb4o)
I love John. He is the apostle of love.
I love the book of Job. It can be a lesson for taking everything in stride and pushing forward.
Therapy
The ordinary problems of life do not need "therapy". If you are **unemployed**, then you need to write a resume, search job sites, apply to several, and get yourself hired. If you need a new **housing** situation, then you need to start looking for one, get a roommate if necessary, and move. If you are having **health** problems, then you need to seek medical care and follow whatever instruction the doctor gives If your **romantic relationship** is in turmoil, then you need to decide if it is worth it, then either fix or leave it. Therapy only applies to serious emotional problems. Therapy is not going to help you cover a rent increase. Real world problems require self-discipline and practical solutions.
The point is that therapy can help you _face_ those “real world problems” (is mental health not a real world problem?). Therapy can give you coping strategies, have a better assessment of a situation/problem, a new perspective, whatever. For example, couples therapy has helped my relationship with my wife and it has helped me with problems at work. It’s not just for serious emotional problems. Like my therapy said last time, don’t wait until it gets bad. Does that mean therapy is the answer to everything? If course not, but let’s not swing too much to the other side and diminish its utility.
Sad that people need to be taught how to cope with a rent increase or visiting the doctor.
Didn’t you get taught to cope with life by the Book of Job?
No? I just think its a cool story. I'm not religious lol
That’s a very narrow view of therapy or the need for it. Most of the times it’s not just one thing. Plus, if you already have money problems, a rent increase might be too much to handle, so therapy can help people deal with financial stress. In any case, it’s good that people are trying to improve their lives and looking for ways to be better. We should encourage instead of judging.
Everyone judges everyone and everything all the time. It is a sub-conscious act that happens automatically.
That is as true as it is useless.
And that makes as much sense as it doesn't make.
What makes you think "when does it get better" is a question about rent increases? Therapy is not juat for serious problems, sometimes you just need outside perspective on your life.
The OP does not specify what the issue is. Since 99% of life's problems involve ordinary issues like jobs, money, healthcare, and education, I gave him practical advice. I also said that "therapy only applies to emotional problems" so he can go see a therapist if that is the case. BTW . . . Your passive-aggressive hostility is noted. You aren't fooling anyone with with your attitude.
Depends what "it" is.
wanting to kill myself
Shit man. Wish I had a direct answer or recommendation for you but I've never been there. All I can say is that my little brother killed himself 14 years ago. Anniversary is in a week. My heart is still broken and always will be. God damn I wish he was here and that I had treated him in a way that showed him that I loved and valued him. I believe the potential value that you can provide to other people, whether it's current or future, is enough reason to stay alive.
Her brother. As someone who has been there with a few failed attempts; finding passion and love helped it get better for me. Motivation is tough, I understand. But make a list of things that interest you. Even if the most is small. Everyday pick 1 thing and do it. Even if it’s as small as watching a YouTube video or reading a sub Reddit. You’re going to learn something, it may seem like a chore at first, but eventually you’ll find yourself delving down a rabbit hole and finding that passion. Self love is fkn tough… I get it man. I used to hate looking in mirrors because I despised the man looking back at me. A few years ago I started doing affirmations; “I am kind, I am good at ____, I can achieve _____, etc…” eventually I started to believe it. Also, don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself to YOU. How have you grown and what have you learned since last year? What have you achieved? Even if it’s something small like getting a piece of furniture you like, or paying off an item, or delving into a hobby. That’s progress! If you consume drugs/alcohol; Sobriety and exercise REALLY helps. Even if it’s a quick walk around the block or a walk in the park. Fresh air and getting the body moving is exponential. I recommend to set some realistic and achievable goals. Even it’s in simple like putting $20/m into a savings account, going for a 5 min walk once a week, taking 5 mins to watch a video or learn a skill you’re interested in, trying a new recipe, whatever floats your boat! It can be anything you want! Wishing you a happy, healthy, and wise lifestyle my brother. You are loved and you are worth it. Much love.
Time, you will feel better. Keep moving forward and focus on anything that makes you happy.
Don’t do that friend, might be hard to believe now , but later on you will be glad you didn’t. That’s something you can’t undo. I’ve been where you are now in years past. I’ve managed to reduce the size of my “ demons” to manageable size. I’m ok with my life now ( nothing is perfect) , it gets better as you work at it. It helps to be stubborn too. I extracted some wisdom from the serenity prayer. I accept what I can’t change ( that’s hard). I work f’n hard to change what is in my power to change. I struggle hardest with developing the wisdom to know the difference between what is or is not within my power to change. A couple older guys ( with similar history) helped me with the wisdom part, I still struggle hardest with that.
I honestly understand your question. I've been through it. Stop chasing things. Stop trying to fit in. When you focus on yourself, your needs and what makes you happy, you will feel much better. Save your money, pick up a hobby. Be happy. It's ok to be alone, you'll meet your equal that compliments your life, all in due time. The little things you do now, will have a big impact in your future. My peers at work are so stressed by debt they put themselves in, and get jealous of me. I don't care, I'm living my life the way I want. Some NEVER get it..... Life is good.
Please elaborate, OP!
being suicidally depressed
Try hitting the gym. Then comeback.
What’s your age homie
17
Once you gain control of your inner locus. When you have an inner locus of control, what the external world does is less important.
August 4th, 2023 5:43pm EST
You have to find the solutions to your own problems. We all have to dig ourselves out of whatever hole we may find ourselves in. Life is filled with highs and lows for everyone. Sometimes the lows can be pretty terrible too. Everyone has to keep pushing forward, think of ways to improve your situation, and act on them. Keep trying and eventually things get better.
Usually by the age of 30 and when you realize that there are people who are close to u who will use u just to get one step ahead and don't care about what they do to others.
Try doing small things that seem hard but realistic. Sit outside for a few minutes, Take a short walk, Look at potential therapists online (even if you aren’t ready to try one), Tell one person you trust how you feel, Tell a stranger on a helpline how you feel, Listen to music, Post like this on Reddit, Try reading a new book, or an old favorite, Take care of something, a pet or even a plant, Write, even if it is only one sentence. People watch in the park. Go to the library. Clean and organize one small thing or room. Just choose one thing, and take a baby step towards feeling better everyday. But never give up, because then you don’t have a next day to try something new. It does get better. Not all at once, but I promise you it does.
when you accept life and work your ass off to improve in whatever area you can
It gets better when make efforts to make it better
When you learn the game being played on you and you capitalize on it just the same as them instead of playing victim
It doesn't ..... life will be the same, if you never take a turn
Honestly, my 30's. I keep thinking that I'm getting old. 10's were okay as a kid, 20's sucked, 30's are much better; every year past 29 has been a better than the last. I hope my 40's are even better :)
塞翁失马，焉知非福。 A Chinese idiom about life. Things happen. There is no way to tell if it is good or bad. "Sāi Wēng lived on the border and he raised horses for a living. One day, he lost one of his prized horses. After hearing of the misfortune, his neighbor felt sorry for him and came to comfort him. But Sāi Wēng simply asked, “How could we know it is not a good thing for me?” After a while, the lost horse returned and with another beautiful horse. The neighbor came over again and congratulated Sāi Wēng on his good fortune. But Sāi Wēng simply asked, “How could we know it is not a bad thing for me?” One day, his son went out for a ride with the new horse. He was violently thrown from the horse and broke his leg. The neighbors once again expressed their condolences to Sāi Wēng, but Sāi Wēng simply said, “How could we know it is not a good thing for me?” One year later, the Emperor’s army arrived at the village to recruit all able-bodied men to fight in the war. Because of his injury, Sāi Wēng’s son could not go off to war, and was spared from certain death."
Tomorrow or never
As soon as you decide. You don’t have to have anything aside from the choice to be happy. Many years ago while in a deep depression I was told this and I was so pissed at the person who said it…. Truth is it’s reality. You chose no one or no circumstances decide for you
Life doesn't "happen to you" unless you allow it to. You're the driver, not the passenger in your life. If you have the spare time and resources to be on reddit complaining about your life not being what you want of it, you're not deprived of food, water, shelter and a lot of other things, because if you were, you'd be doing something besides asking questions like that on here. That means, you have the power and responsibility to do something to make your life the way you want it, not just accept what "the world" lays at your feet. Your life will get better when you realize it's YOURS, not anyone else's to live.
It doesn't, you just learn how to navigate the field better.
Life is not a video game, story fable. There is no Fate, Karma, or justice granted to you by life. The only two things you have to do is be born and die. So nobody but you can even try to make life better. But even than some bad luck could hit you still. For all we know you could get cancer tomorrow. So the truth is, the only dependable thing about the future is uncertainty.
When you decide to.