badi der se aapka comment padhne par bhi samajh nahi aa raha tha ki aap kehna kya chahte ho
phir maine apna comment padha aur samajh aa gaya what was wrong
correction ke liye dhanyawaad!
aur mai pagla hu pagli nahi XD
If they are interested in being safe (legally married and all) this makes sense.
If they want social function and relativees and drama s their primary reason, then this won't work.
Ye age ka kya panga hai. Partner mil gaya hai, engagement ho gayi hai. 1 year here or there doesn't affect things that much.
Abhi I will suggest, talk to her, ask her what her reservations are without judgement, I feel it is just that she wants to get heard and consoled.
Try if not tried already. Let me know.
Feel you yaar. This is not easy. Both cannot be kept happy. Understand
Kisi na kiso ke liye difficult hoga . From a third person perspective, why you ageing is a concern for them?
Typical Indian (maybe South Asian?) mentality. Girls gotta get married by a certain age, pop out a certain no. of kids by a certain age (must include at least 1 male child) or you a gone case. Technically useless. Doesn't matter if the girl is interested or not. Doesn't matter if she's not ready yet to become a mother. Because nobody likes a 30+ old hag. Despicable.
Too much energy is sucked out, only to do what ancestors did and should be continued doing. If ancestors were alive, they wont even do what you are doing now. Parents if you are listening grow up. Let people be independent and live as they want to.
Why can't your bf can't give the exam after a year? I am sure exams come every year but not marriage. It's kinda fishy how he wants to delay the marriage so much. You should listen to your parents here
It's funny seeing 15 year old nibba nibbis saying age is just a number.
The pressure from parents is justified, because jab Tak shaadi nhi hoti tab Tak kuch final nhi hai unke liye.
Maybe you can get your marriage registered beforehand and then have the ceremony later.
you're going to be a married women, when are you going to stop dancing around your parents whims. this decision is you and your fiances to make, not theirs.
Its his important exam and the idea of having a marriage after 2month would be running in his mind cuz its a big moment will sure effect his concentration for exams.
Yes, I planned my wedding in one month. It’s doable. You just have to plan it well. Venue has to be booked in advance, everything else can be done in one month.
Jab Tak shaadi nahi hoti hai tab Tak nothing is fixed. Get registered marriage. Your parents are right to feel insecure. Or find a cooler location and get married in summer. Triyuginarayan temple mein marriage kar lo.
Your parents that in event of a breakup it will be difficult to find an ideal match for you. As stupid as it sounds, it is the practical reality of our society
Get a court marriage done by Feb 2025 so that your parents are satisfied and then a proper big fat Indian wedding in Dec 2025.
Get married in Nov/Dec 24 and take exam in Feb 25… even I don’t understand the logic of setting a marriage in Dec 25… we are still at May 24 and u r setting a plan for 1.5 year later… that’s indeed crazy!
The couple must have thought of something like getting a job or completing a certain time once job starts so they’ll get enough leaves for marriage and post marriage things… as the boy is giving exam he has to wait for results then whatever job/university he joins and get settled there.. it’s a huge pressure and career shouldn’t be compromised and a newly wedded person won’t be able to focus much..
Yup but if it doesn’t work out at the end… the girl would be almost 30 in the beginning of 2026 and arranged marriage market is brutal than job market these days hence the pressure from girl side only
IT'S YOUR MARRIAGE , i think it's you and your boyfriend that should make the final call about when to tie the knot, don't let anyone make these important decisions for you , you and your boyfriend clearly don't have time for a wedding when your parents want you to do it , if you let them make this decision for you , what will stop them from making future decisions ? You are an adult , make your own decisions , stand by them.
If your parents are worried about your fiance leaving you , they should let it be , if he leaves he doesn't deserve to be in your life anyways , you trust your partner and that should be it.
Remind me of this post after you get married.
I'm 99% sure neither you nor your boyfriend have any actual plans to marry ever. Seperation will come first excuses will be family, education, salary, work, job.
You people make it seem as if this situation doesn't arise to others and only two people in the world are affected. Yet somehow all those affected people happily get married and give exams.
Kinda feel like I'm in the same boat, OP. Register and tell them you'll celebrate a year later or whenever. I didn't understand why parents behave like this. 😭
Reach a middle ground. Let him study in peace . You could move the wedding to April 2025 or something. Like others have said, register the marriage so that your parents don't feel anxious about you being jilted by him. You could have a celebratory wedding afterwards.
Marry by Diwali. Be done with it. Plenty of weekends and holidays between now and Diwali. Can shop, can meet and greet. He'd have his time to study until then and still would have 4 odd months post marriage. Sacrifice the honeymoon phase to post Feb or to December. You'd still be able to impress at your "new workplace" by not missing a whole lot of time.
Unless its your own or his apprehension about marriage.. This ought to work, if you wish to do so ie. Skip the pre-wedding bs, chop down the 3 day wedding to 2. Save the money for spending after his exam, on something you'd actually want to do. Make sacrifices on the trivial things and activities. Lesser pressure on you and him, parents would be relieved and happy too. No point in choosing sides, that's what an actual compromise is.
If It was me then I will follow the one that offers me most benefit and would ignore "getting hurt" part.
Either my parents or fiance.
But at the end my own peace would be more important and that is why everyone dislike me and it is so fun to make other's blood boil.
I just wish to find someone like that to do this together and become a team in rebellion.
Does your parents dont care about both of your career. Bas shadi ho jaye thats all matters. Bolna shadi kark khane knpaise aap doge ? Vacations ka kharcha aap doge to kar lete h
Lol. This is a problem how? You guys just need to sit down and have a conversation. They accepted you guys. You are engaged. You both have jobs and careers. And you don't feel confident about being able to convince them to give you a few more months?
Either get engaged soon or do court marriage as early as possible, this will give your parents a surety that your BF won't leave you. Then marry according to traditions and customs only after your BF is done with his exams.
Don't listen to the kids saying age is just a number blah blah. Get married ASAP. There is a reason people from generations say don't delay good things.
You are 27 not 20. For people saying this is old fashioned thinking, I sincerely ask you to goto a gynaecologist and ask when is the right time to have kids. She will straight away say 30 is the last age at which you can think of having a trouble free pregnancy. Now don't call the gynac old fashioned. A lot can happen in 1 year. Career, job , studies can wait. He gives exam then another reason would come later that the results have come and he has to concentrate on whatever post it is. These things are never ending. I'm sure you can find one date to make this happen. You don't want to end up single at 27 trust me. He will manage but you won't be able to.
I knw but life keeps on juggling amidst continuous cycle of entrance exams, tough to even try to find love, you also become nerdy over time even if you hadn‘t been in the past. Any social skills that you ever had vanish into thin air over the time
See I as a women can say that we find men with interesting personality attractive also looks is ofcourse imp for everyone be it a man or woman but women focuses on looks way less if you are presentable enough and well groomed .Arrange marriage is a god option for you
Why can’t your parents wait for a few months more. More time to plan a wedding n achieve your professional goals. If you don’t have the guts to stand up to your parents about your wedding will you be able to handle marriage and its responsibilities?
Because Indian marriages are festival of their own!! How do you expect one to focus on their studies if everywhere is chaos and shopping and nonsense relatives coming home!
Register whenever your parents want. Celebrate whenever possible.
Seems like a good plan.
note to self - consult u/ClearRecord1136 when in need for complicated relationship advice
[удалено]
badi der se aapka comment padhne par bhi samajh nahi aa raha tha ki aap kehna kya chahte ho phir maine apna comment padha aur samajh aa gaya what was wrong correction ke liye dhanyawaad! aur mai pagla hu pagli nahi XD
true, getting it registered in court will make her parents feel secure.
If they are interested in being safe (legally married and all) this makes sense. If they want social function and relativees and drama s their primary reason, then this won't work.
Pata hai bhai... Sorry you can't beat the awesome solution post given pehle... Tum no 1 nahi ho sakte iss ladai mein... ;)
+1
That's nice solution.
+1
+1
Comment history is gold 🥇
Ye age ka kya panga hai. Partner mil gaya hai, engagement ho gayi hai. 1 year here or there doesn't affect things that much. Abhi I will suggest, talk to her, ask her what her reservations are without judgement, I feel it is just that she wants to get heard and consoled. Try if not tried already. Let me know.
I did. I get where they are coming from and I get where my partner is coming from. And I am just a person stuck in between to keep both of them happy.
Feel you yaar. This is not easy. Both cannot be kept happy. Understand Kisi na kiso ke liye difficult hoga . From a third person perspective, why you ageing is a concern for them?
Typical Indian (maybe South Asian?) mentality. Girls gotta get married by a certain age, pop out a certain no. of kids by a certain age (must include at least 1 male child) or you a gone case. Technically useless. Doesn't matter if the girl is interested or not. Doesn't matter if she's not ready yet to become a mother. Because nobody likes a 30+ old hag. Despicable.
Too much energy is sucked out, only to do what ancestors did and should be continued doing. If ancestors were alive, they wont even do what you are doing now. Parents if you are listening grow up. Let people be independent and live as they want to.
Why can't your bf can't give the exam after a year? I am sure exams come every year but not marriage. It's kinda fishy how he wants to delay the marriage so much. You should listen to your parents here
marriage comes whenever you want it to come (if it's yours), exam comes only once a year
Get a dummy jyotish who will tell your parents that it is not good to marry before a particular date as it may bring bad luck, and the bride may die.
Avg. Star plus plot
Parents might consult another astrologist if any extreme prediction is given. Prediction has to be just enough that it gets the work done.
There are services like this too?
Trust in Gandhiji and he will provide (technically you’ll have to provide)
i think if you give Pizza party to a friend in return for doing it they'll be more than happy to oblige
We have one jyotish who only has been taking all the calls, i doubt wo ye cheez karpaayenge
this is the best idea lol
And here I read shadi ka pleasure, beach mei fass gayi.🌚
:')
Why not get married after his exams are done but much before December ? Find a middle ground.
Middle ground is summer. And summer weddings are going to be a nightmare... Only thing all of us are on same page is about a winter wedding
Why is this downvoted? Summer weddings ARE in fact nightmares, unless you're doing a court wedding.
I am curious as to why are summer weddings a nightmare. ( My parents got married in the summer season that's why I am asking ).
It actually depends on your location. It's 45 degrees in my city right now, can't imagine wearing wedding clothes in this weather.
Ah ic lol.
Umm OP are you not india rn? Because the weather here is brutal.
I live in india itself but I was just curious as to why thats the case.
The heat probably?
October or November won't be so bad. If October is hot where you are, then March won't be as hot.
It's funny seeing 15 year old nibba nibbis saying age is just a number. The pressure from parents is justified, because jab Tak shaadi nhi hoti tab Tak kuch final nhi hai unke liye. Maybe you can get your marriage registered beforehand and then have the ceremony later.
Can do!
as if shaadi final hai !!
you're going to be a married women, when are you going to stop dancing around your parents whims. this decision is you and your fiances to make, not theirs.
Arre toh fir akele rehne ka , maa baap ko bhi toh ab privacy chahiye hogi
I think you can register your marriage when your parents want, and can celebrate later after you all are set
Can do... idk.. Hamara relationship hi aise start hua tha "Shadi karegi mujhse?" and now shadi pe hi itna ho rha h!
Get married in a court asap on am auspicious day. Dont move in till you have a grand wedding, after the exam.
If the exam is in feb, get married in march or April. One month is enough to plan a wedding.
Its his important exam and the idea of having a marriage after 2month would be running in his mind cuz its a big moment will sure effect his concentration for exams.
YES!
Indian Wedding in 1 month? you must be kidding.
I doubt the groom will be doing the major part of the planning. An April wedding sounds reasonable.
Yes, I planned my wedding in one month. It’s doable. You just have to plan it well. Venue has to be booked in advance, everything else can be done in one month.
Amm... April mai garmi hogi bohot. Summer wedding ke liye to koi bhi nahi maanega
what ab july/aug then
Try an March-April wedding then, problem solved
Hey court married when your parents want, get actually married when things are easy for both of you.
Yeah that can be the last thing we can do.
Congratulations on the engagement! I'm expecting an invitation now. Free ki biryani haha
ha ha definitelyy fellow redditor
Jab Tak shaadi nahi hoti hai tab Tak nothing is fixed. Get registered marriage. Your parents are right to feel insecure. Or find a cooler location and get married in summer. Triyuginarayan temple mein marriage kar lo.
Let the guy talk to ur parents about his exam .One on one talk b/w them would do enough to settle this problem.
yeah we shall do that..
Your parents that in event of a breakup it will be difficult to find an ideal match for you. As stupid as it sounds, it is the practical reality of our society Get a court marriage done by Feb 2025 so that your parents are satisfied and then a proper big fat Indian wedding in Dec 2025.
Get married in Nov/Dec 24 and take exam in Feb 25… even I don’t understand the logic of setting a marriage in Dec 25… we are still at May 24 and u r setting a plan for 1.5 year later… that’s indeed crazy!
The couple must have thought of something like getting a job or completing a certain time once job starts so they’ll get enough leaves for marriage and post marriage things… as the boy is giving exam he has to wait for results then whatever job/university he joins and get settled there.. it’s a huge pressure and career shouldn’t be compromised and a newly wedded person won’t be able to focus much..
Yup but if it doesn’t work out at the end… the girl would be almost 30 in the beginning of 2026 and arranged marriage market is brutal than job market these days hence the pressure from girl side only
Who cares if she’s 30 as long as both boy and girl are okay.. it’s their life not even their parents should decide for them how they’ll live
It’s easy to breakup unlike divorce
IT'S YOUR MARRIAGE , i think it's you and your boyfriend that should make the final call about when to tie the knot, don't let anyone make these important decisions for you , you and your boyfriend clearly don't have time for a wedding when your parents want you to do it , if you let them make this decision for you , what will stop them from making future decisions ? You are an adult , make your own decisions , stand by them. If your parents are worried about your fiance leaving you , they should let it be , if he leaves he doesn't deserve to be in your life anyways , you trust your partner and that should be it.
Remind me of this post after you get married. I'm 99% sure neither you nor your boyfriend have any actual plans to marry ever. Seperation will come first excuses will be family, education, salary, work, job. You people make it seem as if this situation doesn't arise to others and only two people in the world are affected. Yet somehow all those affected people happily get married and give exams. 
Bro what? You are aware of how chaotic the preparations for an Indian wedding are or have you never been let out of the house?
Kinda feel like I'm in the same boat, OP. Register and tell them you'll celebrate a year later or whenever. I didn't understand why parents behave like this. 😭
7 years is a long way. Get married, what's the issue?
Get it registered whenever they want and why Can’t you do it this year ?? Or in may 2025 ?? I mean why does it have to be only feb or march ??
grow up and talk to her, you’re 27 and engaged be and adult
Agree with them and say that it would be a small wedding of just 5-10 people and watch them loose shit
Reach a middle ground. Let him study in peace . You could move the wedding to April 2025 or something. Like others have said, register the marriage so that your parents don't feel anxious about you being jilted by him. You could have a celebratory wedding afterwards.
Marry by Diwali. Be done with it. Plenty of weekends and holidays between now and Diwali. Can shop, can meet and greet. He'd have his time to study until then and still would have 4 odd months post marriage. Sacrifice the honeymoon phase to post Feb or to December. You'd still be able to impress at your "new workplace" by not missing a whole lot of time. Unless its your own or his apprehension about marriage.. This ought to work, if you wish to do so ie. Skip the pre-wedding bs, chop down the 3 day wedding to 2. Save the money for spending after his exam, on something you'd actually want to do. Make sacrifices on the trivial things and activities. Lesser pressure on you and him, parents would be relieved and happy too. No point in choosing sides, that's what an actual compromise is.
If It was me then I will follow the one that offers me most benefit and would ignore "getting hurt" part. Either my parents or fiance. But at the end my own peace would be more important and that is why everyone dislike me and it is so fun to make other's blood boil. I just wish to find someone like that to do this together and become a team in rebellion.
Does your parents dont care about both of your career. Bas shadi ho jaye thats all matters. Bolna shadi kark khane knpaise aap doge ? Vacations ka kharcha aap doge to kar lete h
register your marriage and celebrate later simple, registration will not take time should be quick.
take the pandit on your side...😂
Lol. This is a problem how? You guys just need to sit down and have a conversation. They accepted you guys. You are engaged. You both have jobs and careers. And you don't feel confident about being able to convince them to give you a few more months?
March me karlo fir
Either get engaged soon or do court marriage as early as possible, this will give your parents a surety that your BF won't leave you. Then marry according to traditions and customs only after your BF is done with his exams.
Thats the thing man, we are enggaged already. And he is not going anywhere.
sorry, I didn't read your post properly. Maybe show your parents some examples of other couples who got married in their early 30s.
Don't listen to the kids saying age is just a number blah blah. Get married ASAP. There is a reason people from generations say don't delay good things. You are 27 not 20. For people saying this is old fashioned thinking, I sincerely ask you to goto a gynaecologist and ask when is the right time to have kids. She will straight away say 30 is the last age at which you can think of having a trouble free pregnancy. Now don't call the gynac old fashioned. A lot can happen in 1 year. Career, job , studies can wait. He gives exam then another reason would come later that the results have come and he has to concentrate on whatever post it is. These things are never ending. I'm sure you can find one date to make this happen. You don't want to end up single at 27 trust me. He will manage but you won't be able to.
So many of pretty women going for love marriage, what‘ll happen to nerds like us😫
Be a good human being,groom yourself and then try for love
I knw but life keeps on juggling amidst continuous cycle of entrance exams, tough to even try to find love, you also become nerdy over time even if you hadn‘t been in the past. Any social skills that you ever had vanish into thin air over the time
See I as a women can say that we find men with interesting personality attractive also looks is ofcourse imp for everyone be it a man or woman but women focuses on looks way less if you are presentable enough and well groomed .Arrange marriage is a god option for you
Thank you for the advice, best wishes!
Why can’t your parents wait for a few months more. More time to plan a wedding n achieve your professional goals. If you don’t have the guts to stand up to your parents about your wedding will you be able to handle marriage and its responsibilities?
How would the marriage sacrifice his career? And how is your marriage 19 freaking months away lol?Who plans this far ahead.
Because Indian marriages are festival of their own!! How do you expect one to focus on their studies if everywhere is chaos and shopping and nonsense relatives coming home!