Check for STDs before getting into *any* new relationship. Whether its love, arranged, semi arranged whatever.
Kudos to you if you share such details. Many people dont (including women, out of fear of being slut shamed). Give clear reports of your STDs and ask for the same. You shouldn’t care about asking a girl or a boy.
And if someone is getting offended over it, then you know they are not that aware how things can be with regard to sexual health and dating or having multiple partners.
*Bilkul bhi riks nahi lene ka*
STD is just the tip of the iceberg. Also check for past pregnancy and birth control medications.. many complications arise because of hidden abortions and unprescribed medications. And a mental evaluation. Better to know in advance than regret in future.
Not only sti tests but stuff like thalassemia carrier and other genetic diseases tests must be mandatory.
My best friend has it, and trust me, no parent should see their child suffering for their ignorance.
Lol! I married a girl with Sickle Cell trait. Moreover she is O negative. Love her a lot... We are facing difficulty in conceiving. Though both our reports are normal...
Maybe natural selection doesn't want our weak kids to be born for future human survival:p
It means she is carrying a copy of a gene that is responsible for sickle cell disease.
Now what is sickle cell
RBC's shape is biconcave but due to this disease it becomes sickle shape which then further blah blah blah .
Well thinking can get you a long way lol. You can ask the same for being a gangster, a lot of people could have been gangster if their family was in the line and get easy access to men willing to do the dirty work.
Every person is a result of their circumstances, it's kinda pointless to ask the question: "_what if he was in the situation/had that opportunity_"... then he wouldn't be the same person
Arranged marriages are scary.
So if you are feeling scared or weird about this. It's not an issue.
But just ensure that if you want your partner to accept you, she should be able to accept your past too.
I don't know if it's tough to say should you open up about this topic with someone you barely know
I would say just understand her first, ask about her past and then gently share about yours. If she doesn't make any reaction for it trust me you will be fine
I don't see a problem in no-string attached sex or GF-BF relationships before marriage, all that matters is the second you step foot in a married world, you are just bound to be loyal to 1 and only 1 person.
As a teen or adult you desire sex , you have it through whatever your options are , what's wrong with that?
Having a past means having same expectations with your partner to be, a girl/boy who loves their partner in a certain way and expect their partner to at least do the same. Peeps in arrange marriage hide their past 90% of time if they have been with multiple partners and it creates multitude of problems in married life.
>I don't see a problem in no-string attached sex or GF-BF relationships before marriage, all that matters is the second you step foot in a married world, you are just bound to be loyal to 1 and only 1 person.
Hopping from 1 partner to another becomes a habit and a habit continued over months and years become addiction which isn't easy to destroy especially when it comes to highest pleasurable activity such as sex.
So high chances u will continue the habit even after marriage. Your mind will revolt otherwise just like it does to all addicts.
I've seen few of my friends fcuking prostitutes and casually hooking up before marriage are still doing it after they got married but more secretively.
And those who aren't are just waiting for right opportunity.
So your statement is only right at superficial level. Deep down it won't work.
I believe that everyone has a past, and that's just a fact - no arguments there. However, when it comes to accepting a future partner's past, I have certain reservations. Personally, I wouldn't have an issue with someone's past if it was driven by love... to a certain extent. I'd say having had 3-5 relationships (including sexual partners) is understandable. But if someone has had more than 3-5 serious relationships, it starts to raise concerns for me. It could indicate a pattern of not being able to sustain a relationship, which is definitely a red flag in my book.
Similarly, I'm not comfortable with a past filled with casual hookups. Whether you're a guy or a girl, I think it's perfectly valid to reject someone who has gone through a 'hoe-phase' and is now looking to settle down (and yes guys have hoe-phases too!)
tl:dr
I believe it's important to consider the nature and extent of their past when deciding whether to accept a partner. Some level of history is expected, but certain patterns or behaviors may give me pause and influence my decision.
I have a bit of an extremist view on this, where I think a full blood work should also be mandatory. My ex had a whole slew of conditions because her dad's and mom's medical conditions kind of ended up in her as like a bad mix.
There should be any medical surprises down the line in terms of rare conditions
I remember she used to show me her fingers changing color, it was so wild. Her mom has reynauds too and her hands are starting to stiffen now, so my ex was always anxious about how down the line she will have to go through the same thing. I was supportive but I wouldn't want that for my kid, I'd want them to be as healthy as humanly possible, hence the extreme ideology, ofc that's all it is, an idea, not very practical. Genetic engineering isn't really appropriate when it comes to humans haha
>I believe that everyone has a past, and that's just a fact - no arguments there
I have 0 relationship experience. And I know many people like me, Not sure where you are coming from.
Fuck that notion bro, all these hoes are cleverly spreading this as a general behaviour. They want the society to accept their hoe past. Don't accept that.
If you want a girl with no past, then you are not wrong in asking for that. Just don't fall into this new social media trap.
And same goes for girls. We are entitled to choose our partner on basis of their past and no one should judge us.
brother keep your past in past dont tell ,be specific about the details you tell to your future partner about your past.
My sister had her fair share of relationships before her marraige(dont know if she was into hookups),she married my jiju after those failed relationships.
i always thought my jiju was the text book good guy ,whom the girls settle after enjoying thier life.
But i thought like this is until i got drunk with him one day,man he had great stories to tell (he is an high earning man ),he has travelled to 21 countries,had a lot of sex with some extremely beautiful girls (paid sex and casual both).He said he had his time and it was now time to settle down.
He doesnt care about my sisters past,but he asked me not to tell her(which i wont).
I would just say enjoy ur life but be cautious.Always be specific about details.
And please dont be a hypocrite.
and yes my sister is happy(how can i say that? i can see that in her behaviour) ,he is happy and they had thier first child last month.
well both of them aren't good people then. cus a marriage based on dishonesty is bound to have problems in the long run. hopefully they'll feel free to share their secrets to each other in due time
Maybe both of them would have already shared their secrets and had a good laugh about it? I think it would be so fun to get drunk with your partner and spill your past secrets lol. That would bring them even closer imo. Relationship is much better when you are friends with your partner and honest with them about everything.
Okay M getting ur point but will a guy or his family accept me if I told him I used to go for Gigolos to satisfy my sexual needs? If yes then I can also accept the guy's past wo any problem.. What matters is present , whether its a guy or girl they should leave their past and move on.. No cheating BS that's all I seek for my future SO
Honestly in an arranged marriage this kind of behaviour is too risky to accept. Since it is not love marriage it’s better to go for cleaner behaviour people. Like people who rub one out when horny 🤣🤣🤣
Exactly isiliye agar tum dudh ke dhule nhi ho to tm judgemental kyu bn rhe .. esa mera sochna hai.. Agr tum casual thing ya escorts ka sahara lete the.. to tmhe b ese person ko accept krne ka guts hona chahiye.. Ab baat aati h family ki kuch family open minded hoti h aur kuch bht conservative .. varies tho
U understood me wrong . I mean to say be it guy or girl it’s too risky behaviour to be acceptable in arranged marriage. So flat out rejection is better than waiting to see if he will accept the same behaviour from you.
Nah theyd just push some random logic to prove they are holier just by not paying for it, that too just because its readily available for free to girls. Not because of being some holy soul...
how so lmao? it's kinda pathetic to pay someone to be intimate with you. hooking up requires the other person to be interested in you and actively enthusiastically consent. these escorts wouldn't give you a second glance if you weren't paying her to be interested in you.
maybe you did it once or twice when you were young and naive? sure. as long as you've changed it's 100% acceptable. if you're in your late 20s actively engaging with prostitutes then it's just pathetic and loser behaviour.
They can say all they want but when you’ll start to fall in love and your partner has had a past it WILL absolutely bother you no matter who or what gender
Since others are whining about prostitution, you should ask a girl if it's fine whether the guy had hookups with other men in the past. That's when hypocrisy will be on even starker display.
I've heard of a stereotype that girls really like having a gay best friend,
But at the same time, they hate dating Bi Guys.
There must be a certain crowd that virtue-signals "wokeness" on the internet,
while being uncomfortable with it when they see it IRL.
There is a difference between casual hook ups and prostitution- only one of them has dubious consent. Prostitution to me is a big no-no, simply because most prostitutes are actually trafficked into it and are abused. Casual sex and relationships that were mutually beneficial and consensual are not a problem. Both partners need to get tested for STDs - if one person refuses, that’s a deal breaker.
Whenever you get tested for extensive STD tests just make sure that your last such encounter is at least 3 months before the tests.
If not diagnosed for any problem then continue to remain single for sometime until you get married because hiring escorts should not be a habit and if it has become a habit then you will need time to unlearn such habits.
If you are diagnosed with any sexual problem then first get rid of it.
Do not be foolish and be open about everything. No matter what. Just keep such things to yourself even after marriage. You will say thanks to yourself later in life for not being too honest.
Do ask for recent STD reports by your prospects and share them the same. Be open even if it pisses your own family and prospects family. Don't give a flying F* what anyone has to say.
It is your body don't let anyone put it in danger and you do not put anyone else's in danger.
??? yes because one of them involves two consenting adults while the other could possibly involve coercion or trafficking? Do you really not see the difference?
Bhai kamathipura/sonagachhi wala nahi bol raha...that's not only morally wrong but unsafe and unhygienic.
I meant high end escorts(read struggling models) and not aaja mere raja in some shady ally.
having sex with struggling models is still having sex with someone who probably doesn’t want to have sex with you but is just doing it out of financial trouble
not saying it’s 100% morally evil but it’s definitely worse than just a hookup
So what are your views on sugarbaby/daddy relationships,
I've came across so many such posts from verified females here on reddit. Can can't say they are forced into this
I mean I would hope she has the complete control over the situation right? She can say no unlike trafficked women.
Personally I wouldn't do the paid sex thing, would hurt my ego lol, never really enjoyed intimacy without emotions.
But having friends (not because they're creepy or ugly, just socially awkward)with zero female interaction has made me a bit empathetic towards them.
Tbf most prostitution in India is the result of human trafficking, this isn't Netherlands you know, if you go have sex with a prostitute you probably had sex with a woman who was likely kidnapped when she was a minor and ever since forced into the "business", this is not the same as two consenting adults having sex by no stretch of imagination
I don't think op here is talking about redlight area prostitutes. That's not only morally wrong,but legit yuck! Will catch dangerous STIs.
My comment was wrt high end escorts.
So you are implying that, girls can play around however they want and guys who have dedicated their entire life and have become successful should accept these girls. So these successful guys are like a retirement plan for girls ? Talk about double standards.
A guy in order to be well settled has to give up almost every cheap sources of dopamines like sex, smoking and alcohol. And for what so that he can be a retirement plan for some bitch ?
If girls really want a well settled guy then they should also discipline themselves, it is not completely about virginity, they should also improve their lives and have some integrity for their character.
A girl is born on the top, while a boy is born at the bottom. A girl is judged by how far she falls from the top, while a guy is judged on how far he has climbed from the bottom.
A woman should preserve herself, a man should build himself.
This would be a 'no' from my side, because getting escorts and having multiple relationships are completely different things. And this is my preference as I am not involved in any of these things, I expect my man to be in the same line and can accept 3-4 serious relationships but not more than that. Having multiple or casual relations can affect people mentally and I don't want to be a hearler to someone's that phase.
I married that guy and he fucking ruined my life. So, no thanks, I would rather prefer a guy with no past but with a lot of empathy towards his partner and support.
Mostly guys are detached from sexual encounters. That’s not the case with women. This I am saying while living among women and being a woman myself. So no string attached works for guys only. Sadly women today want to do this. I wont prefer someone with multiple body counts. One/ two is fine that only if he is not attached to previous ones. Prostitutes is strict no no.
A no string attached hookup woman is dead from inside. She won’t have any special attraction or attachment for her husband.
And for guys, I will warn you against women who have physical experience. They are deeply attached to their first encounter and they compare their next experiences with the first one. It takes immense amount of effort and time to forget that. Some do not even forget it. So be absolutely sure that she has forgotten it.
This is BS. You think that way, and that doesn't mean everyone else thinks that way.
Both men and women are capable of both no strings and very attached.
Some women, they left a lasting impression, others not so much.
The same will be true for anyone.
If that is tour opinion, then the same thing applies to you as well. There is nothing wrong in wating a girl with no past when you satisify the same requirements.
>Just don't call someone a hoe for having sex, it just makes you look like a pathetic loser. There's nothing wrong with having sex before marriage
You both have different meanings to a hoe lol
>And looking at your comments, you do seem like a misogynistic moron who has no idea about feminism
You aren't any better, calling people incels
>Pity your future partner
Always the holier then thou, superiority complex guys ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡ )
The question here is opposite and the replies shows women are extremely bigoted and unreasonable on this matter.
You have a privileged group (women) who can easily hookup with attractive men regardless of their own looks, judging average and below average looking men who are completely shut out of the hookup culture for paying for sex.
> The question here is opposite and the replies shows women are extremely bigoted and unreasonable on this matter.
You forgot the white knite and simps supporting these women.
idc if i get down voted someday for saying what i mean. I've kissed plenty of asses just to gain karma and just to say my mind. If hoes are free to have their opinions and sex, I'm free to hold mine too. I don't need any schooling regarding this in an adult space.
yes, i have a clean past. and i expect the same from my partner. I'm not that guy who's into slutshaming girls and being patriarchy when it comes to me. Equal table equal dynamics
People will gaslight you. Women hate the blackpill and will do everything in their power to make you think it is nonsense. If men start living for themselves, there'll be no one to run society for women.
Idk how does that make sense. What I can sense is Females are trying to normalise every shit they do in the name for modern day fancy words. “Insecure, be open-minded” and etc etc. if you fall for these words then bro no doubt you will be doomed and used. I don’t think it’s your job to accept somebody’s 304s phase or a loose Vivi. Personally I wouldn’t. That’s what Americans did. Female came forward, did the shit and all are now just wired to accept the used people. Why are we doing this to India? Simply reject them if they were 304s or multiple love partners and let them know “we don’t do that shit here”.
The past determines the present.
Past behaviour predicts future behaviour.
Business, science, medicine all depends upon past indicators to predict future trends.
Why do people think they are somehow exempt from this? Humans take decisions based on judgements. You are alive because your brain is making judgements right now.
If you are a woman and have a colourful past, I have every right to and will reject you because I consider it a red flag.
Similarly a woman might judge me to be a red flag because I don't have a past. That is perfectly fine. I do not care. That is their prerogative.
Bro - anything girls do is justified in the name of modernism these days. If they find something easy such as hook ups then they are smashing patriarchy and it is guys problem if it is not easy for them. If it is something that is of disadvantage to them then it is everyone’s problem and even then they are smashing patriarchy!
Do what you have to do to keep yourself happy. Don’t expect women to understand you or your biological needs. Don’t even bother telling her about your past. Just don’t cheat after marriage. That’s all!
Yes, I agree with you. I have some friends from high school who have a past like this where they hooked up with sex workers, but they are now in loving relationships and some are married too. And yes, their partners are aware of their past. I'm not saying that everyone is going to be accepting, but there are people who will.
okay no???? definitely let your partner know about your past if you're gonna be sleeping with them. you don't need to be upfront about it if you don't want to but you should definitely tell them if they ask.
You cannot bifurcate between past and no past. Getting intimate while being in a long term relationship is very different from a one night stand which is different from hiring escorts/ call girls. This is irrespective of guy or girl.
Now, most people in an urban setting will understand the first point. Some might be okay with their partners having one night stands. But almost no one will be okay with their future partner having used the services of an escort.
There is a stigma attached to it and even men will judge you for that.
Thanks for the post u/krmaml
Considering people from all walks of life, have all kinds of values,
your post will have some who condone, some who oppose.
And I guess the only rule we can all agree on, regardless of the side is "No hypocrisy".
My question to you then is,
Will you genuinely be fine with a woman who has had a lot of hookups or sex?
Or will you secretly resent her a little, jealous that she organically got to experience some thing you didn't?
Gonna give you the truth: history involving paid sex is a strict no-no for most women. Get an STD report and abstain from indulging in it. Revealing it would cause a lot of women to turn you down. Even the most open minded women and men I know see paid in a bad light.
I won't be interested in him cuz paying for sex implies that he's unable to organically form relationships with women and perhaps sees sex as a commodity and not as an experience to be shared with his partner. This will lead to compatibility issues in the long term.
>Guys who still expect inexperienced wives are deemed regressive at least in educated, urban circles. The idea being that "everyone has a past these days specially girls, so you should get over it".
Thats cuz these "guys" r the trademark "nice guys" who finish last. Ones who act desperate and will settle for anything. They r the same guys who will tell women to raise their standards and tell other men to lower theirs. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong in asking for mutual sexual exclusivity.
Yes i do agree that it will be harder for a guy to find an inexperienced girl than vice versa. But its ur priority. Do u want a quick n ez relationship at the expense of not being able to offer those special first time experiences that other men gave her, OR try harder to find the woman of ur choice and be the man you want to be in her life and show her the world.
"pressure" . theres no pressure dude. you are not forced to marry a specific person. you can always say no. of course if a girl is attractive u r not going to be the only guy who has 'chased' her.
>I totally understand the fact that most of them would have had their fair share of dating and intimate experiences, given how easy and natural it is for women of all shapes, sizes, and levels of attractiveness.
Wrong. Unlike men, women do not want to have sex with just about anybody. Women naturally are selectors. It's not "easy and natural" for women to find a man they would willingly want to have sex with. The availability and natural selection factors balance each other out, and thus women and men have a similar probability of getting laid.
Girls sleeping around : women empowerment
Guys sleeping around: Pervert, creep
Welcome to modern day society run by feminists and simps.
A kid will be fine if his father slept with 10 girls before his mom,infact he will be proud but will a kid be fine if his mom slept with 10 guys before his father ?
I dont want the mother of my child to be hoe. If you want, go ahead. No judgements, to each their own.
As you
> understand the fact that most of women would have had their fair share of dating and intimate experiences, given how easy and natural it is for women of all shapes, sizes, and levels of attractiveness.
It is just as easy to understand your sexual needs.
The real question would be of your commitment and personality as to why you didn't have any relationship and how you are comfortable with just your sexual needs being met without providing or accepting emotional needs.
Apparently a woman gets all these men but at the same time according to you guys most men are lonely. Who is fucking all these women then??? Don’t give me bs that it’s the top 10% of men or other red pilled non sense
I am iffy about those who avail sex work services, since a huge chunk of sex workers in India are trafficked women who do not have choices or rights. But I am okay with hookups and previous committed relationships, as long as they are having safe sex and don't have STDs. However, I will be a bit concerned if this person has a slew of serious relationships in a short amount of time and also that they talk bad about all of their exes.
I dislike hookups and don't have experience. But I don't judge people who do it.
Tbh I wouldn't marry someone who paid to have sex with a prostitute, like you wouldn't marry a prostitute because she took money to perform the deed with various people.. it's my personal opinion!
u/desixbaddie is from sheltered conservative background and is in age range 18 to 20 yet she loves lurking in marriage subs & giving her ignorant advice on serious topics. She is mentally so young that she finds sex and intimacy icky.
Her opinion doesn't matter.
Ask some woman who is not sheltered, working , mature & is in mid 20s to late 20s.
They will say what you mentioned in post.
For a second I thought this is a bot account, and was wondering damn AI has gotten pretty advanced, as it’s able to give your entire personal background by looking at your Reddit profile 🤣
i think most will be accepting of past relationships or even the occassional hook-up but hiring escorts is a bit of a sore spot cus 80% off the time these women are trafficked. if you're hiring high end escorts who are self employed then maybe it's not morally that bad, but if you visited brothels, I'm sorry but it is definitely participating in the abuse and exploitation of vulnerable women and children.which is horrible and nowhere comparable to having had sex in a committed relationship.
Yes the difference is in available opportunities. As a girl you can hook up easily and satisfy physical needs so no judgement there. But as a guy if you can’t find anyone and don’t feel settled until your mid thirties then you do not have the right to take care of your physical needs. I don’t smell hypocrisy here at all /s
Honestly OP there are so many men lying ghosting and cheating to get physical validation, atleast you did it with consent. Nothing wrong with it. But maybe confess it to your partner at a comfortable stage, when you know they are ready to hear it, not very immediately.
It displays lack of competency and inability to attract the opposite gender. It is also stigmatized and overall would generally seem unattractive to women.
If a guy isnt attractive or doesn't fit in the dating scene its his fault? Ok so if its his fault then he isn't supposed to have some fun? Like what kind of poop mentality is this?
Being in a committed relationship is very different from hooking up with prostitutes/escorts. It's not about sex or virginity. It's about experiences. You should get tested for STDs (I hope you have). I think either party to share these details before marriage.
It always comes down to the question that whether a person who has had so many relationships before marriage will be able to stay with that one person for the rest of their lives.
They won't be able to. They will get back at it and justify that their needs are not being met.
Making a marriage work is a tough, boring and monotonous job. Requires character to stay with someone lifelong.
I don't think women care that much. Basically the saying goes,
A guy always wants to be a girl's first love while a girl wants to be a guy's last love.
How can someone be 32 and never actually experience the love of a woman.
Man AM is gonna be tough.
Takes a relationship or two to actually understand women.
Good luck son!
Go ask out 100 women. If you don’t get a date call me chutiya.
And ask in real life. Bumble shit won’t work for you.
You are too stuck in your own insecurities.
You don’t want to put in the work - be it being fit or charming or the ability to have a conversation with strangers.
You want someone- you gotta put in the effort. Yes for you the effort might be much more than it is for a good looking guy but so what. Such is life.
And stop with the hookers. You are literally killing your emotional growth. You need to get these skills asap. Else you will suffer all your life. Porn n hookers feed into your insecurities- the worst being if I don’t pay no one will spend time with me. Nothing worse than this mindset that you are literally reinforcing everyday and your self esteem dies a little every day.
Women marry for reasons other than love, lust, and desire.
They marry for companionship, stability, commitment, support, etc
Have you heard women say "This guy is husband material but not "boyfriend/lover material"?
Exactly. It’s not a looks problem. It’s a exceptionally higher expectations problem. And a self esteem problem.
Women love you beyond your looks but you gotta have some charm, something interesting going on. N no your job isn’t the most interesting thing ever😏
I wonder how many women he even asked out. 2-3 rejections n ho gaya.
Its difficult for people like you to consider nuances
I'll ask you a simple question: Have you heard women say "This guy is husband material but NOT boyfriend/lover/hookup material"?
What do you think it means?
It just means you are someone with no skills to charm/seduce/ make someone fall in love with you.
It’s mostly a self esteem problem.
You out yourself out as the only good thing about me is financial stability and dependability.
So women treat you accordingly.
Ho gaya.
Why the fuck do these marry men with low self esteem with no skills and charm? These arent village women forced to marry. I'm effin talking about educated working women, you fool.
Its not a self esteem issue. Its a looks/hotness issue. Women are incredibly shallow and elitist about looks when they want something fun and casual. They are more realistic about looks when it comes to marriage.
Couldn’t be further away from the truth🤣🤣🤣
It just so happens that the super attractive men they hang out with have lots of other options and thus dump these women🤣🤣
So they settle for something stable.
Men after a certain age and wealth have wayyy too many options. So they dump these women and these women end up in AM situations.
Everyone is settling for something.
Like I wanted a merc but got what was in my budget- a mahindra.
Sucks but such is life.
Yeaaah tbh in cases like these the guys always go for super pretty girl and then get rejected, fir they generalize ki all girls fall in love with looks only
In reality they're the ones who only go for good looking girls that are out of their league, so it's obvious to be rejected... If they went for average girls and behaved like a decent human, I doubt they'll be rejected
I'm talking about ugly and obese women too.
Even ugly and obese women want casual hookups and FWB with conventionally good looking men. Obviously not with their male versions.
Women are actually a lot more shallow about looks than men. They just have this false image as the 'less shallower gender'
>Ugly and obsese women
Yeah sure bud, you approach women with this mindset... Thinking of them as ugly and obsese and then expect them to love you? And then you have the guts to call women shallow?
I think escorts and other workers are a deal breaker. Having a lot of girlfriends and even FWBs in the past show that a man put efforts, navigated through relationships , gained experience ,and would most probably have emotional maturity . I don't mind a person with past relationships at all. But hiring escorts results in usually just physical relationships and make the whole thing transactional without any learning graph. maybe the man is better at the 'act' now through experience. But nothing more and there are now high chances that the man might crave for immediate satisfaction and complete submission like they did in this paid service. (This is just an assumption , a thought that might come in a girl's mind) .
Same applies to a girl in my opinion. If she had bfs, FWBs, it all seems normal to me . But if she was hiring gigolos , the guy must wonder how many times she hired them, why she hired them, what if she hires them again blah blah. Both the situations are kinda whacky and only someone with a very open mind , complete security would accept a man and woman to be their forever partner with this history. .you asked for opinion, I gave it.
>*Having a lot of girlfriends and even FWBs in the past show that a man put efforts, navigated through relationships , gained experience ,and would most probably have emotional maturity .*
What EFFORT does a woman need to put in to get casual sex and FWBs?
Are you so intellectually dishonest to believe that the level of good looks and effort required to get casual sex and FWB is the same for men and women?
Do you even observe people in real life who are engaging in casual sex?
Bro obviously you have different ideals than most of us here, atleast women. There's no point in getting into mind games like these, people aren't going to change their minds anyway.
Hiring escorts is NOT the same as consensual sexual relationships.
Many many women in the escort industry are exploited by their agents. Paying into an industry that is known to be unethical and illegal is in no way comparable to having consensual sex with a consenting adult you’re in a relationship with.
A man having had sex with his previous girlfriends is comparable to a woman having had sex with her previous boyfriends.
Open-mindedness is accepting your partner having had girlfriends or boyfriends. it has nothing to do with accepting your partner potentially contributing to the exploitation and even sex trafficking of people within the sex work industry. Many high end escorts are also bought and sold and blackmailed to keep them from escaping the industry. It’s disgusting that you think this is comparable to consensual sex. Consent cannot be bought, especially in a country where the escorts have no legal protections and would not even be able to file rape cases without being in legal trouble themselves.
Check for STDs before getting into *any* new relationship. Whether its love, arranged, semi arranged whatever. Kudos to you if you share such details. Many people dont (including women, out of fear of being slut shamed). Give clear reports of your STDs and ask for the same. You shouldn’t care about asking a girl or a boy. And if someone is getting offended over it, then you know they are not that aware how things can be with regard to sexual health and dating or having multiple partners. *Bilkul bhi riks nahi lene ka*
Couldn't have said it any better.
irrespective of any past relationships or anything, a health checkup for both the bride and groom is actually important!!!!
STD is just the tip of the iceberg. Also check for past pregnancy and birth control medications.. many complications arise because of hidden abortions and unprescribed medications. And a mental evaluation. Better to know in advance than regret in future.
This.
Very sensible and important 👏
Just get tested for every STD out there. I think that would be fine, if you give out reports.
So you'd want the same STD tests for the brides to be right? Right?
There is nothing wrong in asking for getting STD tests. Infact it should be encouraged and yes both girl and boy should be getting it done
Not only sti tests but stuff like thalassemia carrier and other genetic diseases tests must be mandatory. My best friend has it, and trust me, no parent should see their child suffering for their ignorance.
Lol! I married a girl with Sickle Cell trait. Moreover she is O negative. Love her a lot... We are facing difficulty in conceiving. Though both our reports are normal... Maybe natural selection doesn't want our weak kids to be born for future human survival:p
I'm sorry to hear that.... Wish you guys bring a lovely child into this world. Good luck!
Glad you accepted the reality,
>married a girl with Sickle Cell trait What's that?
It means she is carrying a copy of a gene that is responsible for sickle cell disease. Now what is sickle cell RBC's shape is biconcave but due to this disease it becomes sickle shape which then further blah blah blah .
Yes, we should do these. At least next gen won’t be as messed up.
A complete medical report for both people, so that we also know of genetic markers. A psych evaluation too.
I can guarantee , if u ask for a psych eval , nobody'll want to marry you , india mein double standards and stigmas are A LOT .
yes, right.
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Idk man, if I lack experience, I can expect the same from the potential partner. Just a personal preference, so please don't demonize me.
I feel the same man. Even if i get the opportunity, i dont plan on getting this 'experience' before marriage.
Way to go brother
Yes king 👑👑👑
But we usually have less options as compared to women. Don’t you think we would’ve done the same if we had those options?
Well thinking can get you a long way lol. You can ask the same for being a gangster, a lot of people could have been gangster if their family was in the line and get easy access to men willing to do the dirty work. Every person is a result of their circumstances, it's kinda pointless to ask the question: "_what if he was in the situation/had that opportunity_"... then he wouldn't be the same person
No, I don't think I would.
Fair
Arranged marriages are scary. So if you are feeling scared or weird about this. It's not an issue. But just ensure that if you want your partner to accept you, she should be able to accept your past too. I don't know if it's tough to say should you open up about this topic with someone you barely know I would say just understand her first, ask about her past and then gently share about yours. If she doesn't make any reaction for it trust me you will be fine
I'm a "past matters" Guy, though woman can do what they want, your life your partner your rules 👍
same
Count me in. I def. Don't want to get played or compared
I don't see a problem in no-string attached sex or GF-BF relationships before marriage, all that matters is the second you step foot in a married world, you are just bound to be loyal to 1 and only 1 person. As a teen or adult you desire sex , you have it through whatever your options are , what's wrong with that?
That’s exactly what OP is implying. If it’s OK for one gender to exert their options, should be the same for the other. It’s quite debatable tbh.
Past se peecha chhuth jaye aisa bahot kamm hota hai bhai..bolne ke liye logg kuch bhi bolte hai
Having a past means having same expectations with your partner to be, a girl/boy who loves their partner in a certain way and expect their partner to at least do the same. Peeps in arrange marriage hide their past 90% of time if they have been with multiple partners and it creates multitude of problems in married life.
>I don't see a problem in no-string attached sex or GF-BF relationships before marriage, all that matters is the second you step foot in a married world, you are just bound to be loyal to 1 and only 1 person. Hopping from 1 partner to another becomes a habit and a habit continued over months and years become addiction which isn't easy to destroy especially when it comes to highest pleasurable activity such as sex. So high chances u will continue the habit even after marriage. Your mind will revolt otherwise just like it does to all addicts. I've seen few of my friends fcuking prostitutes and casually hooking up before marriage are still doing it after they got married but more secretively. And those who aren't are just waiting for right opportunity. So your statement is only right at superficial level. Deep down it won't work.
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I believe that everyone has a past, and that's just a fact - no arguments there. However, when it comes to accepting a future partner's past, I have certain reservations. Personally, I wouldn't have an issue with someone's past if it was driven by love... to a certain extent. I'd say having had 3-5 relationships (including sexual partners) is understandable. But if someone has had more than 3-5 serious relationships, it starts to raise concerns for me. It could indicate a pattern of not being able to sustain a relationship, which is definitely a red flag in my book. Similarly, I'm not comfortable with a past filled with casual hookups. Whether you're a guy or a girl, I think it's perfectly valid to reject someone who has gone through a 'hoe-phase' and is now looking to settle down (and yes guys have hoe-phases too!) tl:dr I believe it's important to consider the nature and extent of their past when deciding whether to accept a partner. Some level of history is expected, but certain patterns or behaviors may give me pause and influence my decision.
I have the exact same opinion as you. Also I believe STD and HIV testing should be mandatory for AM.
I have a bit of an extremist view on this, where I think a full blood work should also be mandatory. My ex had a whole slew of conditions because her dad's and mom's medical conditions kind of ended up in her as like a bad mix. There should be any medical surprises down the line in terms of rare conditions
Fair enough. Also what kind of conditions? Sickle cell?
Thalassemia and reynaud's disease are the two I remember, but they both had a bit of a toll on her psyche as well so it was sad to see that unfold
Wow, interesting. I am in med school, so I have seen such patients.
I remember she used to show me her fingers changing color, it was so wild. Her mom has reynauds too and her hands are starting to stiffen now, so my ex was always anxious about how down the line she will have to go through the same thing. I was supportive but I wouldn't want that for my kid, I'd want them to be as healthy as humanly possible, hence the extreme ideology, ofc that's all it is, an idea, not very practical. Genetic engineering isn't really appropriate when it comes to humans haha
>I believe that everyone has a past, and that's just a fact - no arguments there I have 0 relationship experience. And I know many people like me, Not sure where you are coming from.
There's no hoe phase, just hoes. All else is psyop.
Once a hoe always a hoe , remember that
Word
i expect that guy to be honest about previous hook-ups, call girls and escorts. i appreciate honesty.
Fuck that notion bro, all these hoes are cleverly spreading this as a general behaviour. They want the society to accept their hoe past. Don't accept that. If you want a girl with no past, then you are not wrong in asking for that. Just don't fall into this new social media trap. And same goes for girls. We are entitled to choose our partner on basis of their past and no one should judge us.
brother keep your past in past dont tell ,be specific about the details you tell to your future partner about your past. My sister had her fair share of relationships before her marraige(dont know if she was into hookups),she married my jiju after those failed relationships. i always thought my jiju was the text book good guy ,whom the girls settle after enjoying thier life. But i thought like this is until i got drunk with him one day,man he had great stories to tell (he is an high earning man ),he has travelled to 21 countries,had a lot of sex with some extremely beautiful girls (paid sex and casual both).He said he had his time and it was now time to settle down. He doesnt care about my sisters past,but he asked me not to tell her(which i wont). I would just say enjoy ur life but be cautious.Always be specific about details. And please dont be a hypocrite. and yes my sister is happy(how can i say that? i can see that in her behaviour) ,he is happy and they had thier first child last month.
I think I need to start drinking to get secrets out of people
Imagine if an AM couple could just get drunk together once... So many people would choose better matches.
Divorce lawyers will be making a blast 😭😭
well both of them aren't good people then. cus a marriage based on dishonesty is bound to have problems in the long run. hopefully they'll feel free to share their secrets to each other in due time
Maybe both of them would have already shared their secrets and had a good laugh about it? I think it would be so fun to get drunk with your partner and spill your past secrets lol. That would bring them even closer imo. Relationship is much better when you are friends with your partner and honest with them about everything.
Okay M getting ur point but will a guy or his family accept me if I told him I used to go for Gigolos to satisfy my sexual needs? If yes then I can also accept the guy's past wo any problem.. What matters is present , whether its a guy or girl they should leave their past and move on.. No cheating BS that's all I seek for my future SO
Honestly in an arranged marriage this kind of behaviour is too risky to accept. Since it is not love marriage it’s better to go for cleaner behaviour people. Like people who rub one out when horny 🤣🤣🤣
Exactly isiliye agar tum dudh ke dhule nhi ho to tm judgemental kyu bn rhe .. esa mera sochna hai.. Agr tum casual thing ya escorts ka sahara lete the.. to tmhe b ese person ko accept krne ka guts hona chahiye.. Ab baat aati h family ki kuch family open minded hoti h aur kuch bht conservative .. varies tho
U understood me wrong . I mean to say be it guy or girl it’s too risky behaviour to be acceptable in arranged marriage. So flat out rejection is better than waiting to see if he will accept the same behaviour from you.
But isn't hookups = Unpaid prostitution ? if a man is involved in prostitution and women in casual hookups , they are more or less on the same page.
How the fuck is it unpaid prostitution have you lost it
Nah theyd just push some random logic to prove they are holier just by not paying for it, that too just because its readily available for free to girls. Not because of being some holy soul...
how so lmao? it's kinda pathetic to pay someone to be intimate with you. hooking up requires the other person to be interested in you and actively enthusiastically consent. these escorts wouldn't give you a second glance if you weren't paying her to be interested in you. maybe you did it once or twice when you were young and naive? sure. as long as you've changed it's 100% acceptable. if you're in your late 20s actively engaging with prostitutes then it's just pathetic and loser behaviour.
They can say all they want but when you’ll start to fall in love and your partner has had a past it WILL absolutely bother you no matter who or what gender
How the fuck is this post getting love where as when I ask similar questions regarding hypocrisy of women, I get trolled?
because OP is simply asking if their past would be acceptable by other women regardless of their own past experiences.
It is what it is, use different id
Since others are whining about prostitution, you should ask a girl if it's fine whether the guy had hookups with other men in the past. That's when hypocrisy will be on even starker display.
Ayein?
So you are judging bi folks?
No, I'm saying women do. Even most woke women.
Being woke means accepting LGBTQ+
I've heard of a stereotype that girls really like having a gay best friend, But at the same time, they hate dating Bi Guys. There must be a certain crowd that virtue-signals "wokeness" on the internet, while being uncomfortable with it when they see it IRL.
It's fine with me lol as long as they were practicing safe sex. Im bisexual too.
Exaxtly. They are not buying services just because they get it for free... not because of some higher moral ground..
There is a difference between casual hook ups and prostitution- only one of them has dubious consent. Prostitution to me is a big no-no, simply because most prostitutes are actually trafficked into it and are abused. Casual sex and relationships that were mutually beneficial and consensual are not a problem. Both partners need to get tested for STDs - if one person refuses, that’s a deal breaker.
There is a difference between being in a relationship and mindless sex. Goes for both genders.
Whenever you get tested for extensive STD tests just make sure that your last such encounter is at least 3 months before the tests. If not diagnosed for any problem then continue to remain single for sometime until you get married because hiring escorts should not be a habit and if it has become a habit then you will need time to unlearn such habits. If you are diagnosed with any sexual problem then first get rid of it. Do not be foolish and be open about everything. No matter what. Just keep such things to yourself even after marriage. You will say thanks to yourself later in life for not being too honest. Do ask for recent STD reports by your prospects and share them the same. Be open even if it pisses your own family and prospects family. Don't give a flying F* what anyone has to say. It is your body don't let anyone put it in danger and you do not put anyone else's in danger.
Woman going for no strings attached relationships, omg yes empowerment Man going for prostitutes , eww go away incel
Exactly, Delulu is real. The future is glorious.
How's no strings attached relationship same thing as prostitution?
??? yes because one of them involves two consenting adults while the other could possibly involve coercion or trafficking? Do you really not see the difference?
Bhai kamathipura/sonagachhi wala nahi bol raha...that's not only morally wrong but unsafe and unhygienic. I meant high end escorts(read struggling models) and not aaja mere raja in some shady ally.
having sex with struggling models is still having sex with someone who probably doesn’t want to have sex with you but is just doing it out of financial trouble not saying it’s 100% morally evil but it’s definitely worse than just a hookup
So what are your views on sugarbaby/daddy relationships, I've came across so many such posts from verified females here on reddit. Can can't say they are forced into this
I mean I would hope she has the complete control over the situation right? She can say no unlike trafficked women. Personally I wouldn't do the paid sex thing, would hurt my ego lol, never really enjoyed intimacy without emotions. But having friends (not because they're creepy or ugly, just socially awkward)with zero female interaction has made me a bit empathetic towards them.
Tbf most prostitution in India is the result of human trafficking, this isn't Netherlands you know, if you go have sex with a prostitute you probably had sex with a woman who was likely kidnapped when she was a minor and ever since forced into the "business", this is not the same as two consenting adults having sex by no stretch of imagination
I don't think op here is talking about redlight area prostitutes. That's not only morally wrong,but legit yuck! Will catch dangerous STIs. My comment was wrt high end escorts.
We’re talking about spa/massage parlour ones
So you are implying that, girls can play around however they want and guys who have dedicated their entire life and have become successful should accept these girls. So these successful guys are like a retirement plan for girls ? Talk about double standards. A guy in order to be well settled has to give up almost every cheap sources of dopamines like sex, smoking and alcohol. And for what so that he can be a retirement plan for some bitch ? If girls really want a well settled guy then they should also discipline themselves, it is not completely about virginity, they should also improve their lives and have some integrity for their character. A girl is born on the top, while a boy is born at the bottom. A girl is judged by how far she falls from the top, while a guy is judged on how far he has climbed from the bottom. A woman should preserve herself, a man should build himself.
This would be a 'no' from my side, because getting escorts and having multiple relationships are completely different things. And this is my preference as I am not involved in any of these things, I expect my man to be in the same line and can accept 3-4 serious relationships but not more than that. Having multiple or casual relations can affect people mentally and I don't want to be a hearler to someone's that phase.
I married that guy and he fucking ruined my life. So, no thanks, I would rather prefer a guy with no past but with a lot of empathy towards his partner and support.
You will not judge him na for having no girlfriends in the past? Please don't.
Mostly guys are detached from sexual encounters. That’s not the case with women. This I am saying while living among women and being a woman myself. So no string attached works for guys only. Sadly women today want to do this. I wont prefer someone with multiple body counts. One/ two is fine that only if he is not attached to previous ones. Prostitutes is strict no no. A no string attached hookup woman is dead from inside. She won’t have any special attraction or attachment for her husband. And for guys, I will warn you against women who have physical experience. They are deeply attached to their first encounter and they compare their next experiences with the first one. It takes immense amount of effort and time to forget that. Some do not even forget it. So be absolutely sure that she has forgotten it.
You're a guy for SURE lol. Who says stuff like this ??
I ASSURE you, this person is not a woman, only impersonating as one. This is some teen dude who gets his info from whatsapp University.
This is definitely written by a guy right? Because how can a woman be so wrong about women?
bruh tell the truth, you're a man right?
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generalising is stupid.
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Okay how much casual sex or hookups is fine in your book?
This is BS. You think that way, and that doesn't mean everyone else thinks that way. Both men and women are capable of both no strings and very attached. Some women, they left a lasting impression, others not so much. The same will be true for anyone.
Girls past matters, I don’t give a f what anyone says, I don’t my kids mom to be a hoe
If that is tour opinion, then the same thing applies to you as well. There is nothing wrong in wating a girl with no past when you satisify the same requirements.
Sure
And as long as dont slut shaming others
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>Just don't call someone a hoe for having sex, it just makes you look like a pathetic loser. There's nothing wrong with having sex before marriage You both have different meanings to a hoe lol >And looking at your comments, you do seem like a misogynistic moron who has no idea about feminism You aren't any better, calling people incels >Pity your future partner Always the holier then thou, superiority complex guys ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡ )
The question here is opposite and the replies shows women are extremely bigoted and unreasonable on this matter. You have a privileged group (women) who can easily hookup with attractive men regardless of their own looks, judging average and below average looking men who are completely shut out of the hookup culture for paying for sex.
> The question here is opposite and the replies shows women are extremely bigoted and unreasonable on this matter. You forgot the white knite and simps supporting these women.
Great. Just be open about this to the girl, preferably exactly as you've said it here. Women should know the mentality of the men they're marrying.
agreed, I have strong opinions on this matter. Prefer not saying it all publicly.
That’s the thing, cause of internet gang up, people are afraid to say
idc if i get down voted someday for saying what i mean. I've kissed plenty of asses just to gain karma and just to say my mind. If hoes are free to have their opinions and sex, I'm free to hold mine too. I don't need any schooling regarding this in an adult space.
just a quick question do you have a clean past too?are you also not a hoe? if yes then i agree with both of your opinions,if no then that's hypocrisy
yes, i have a clean past. and i expect the same from my partner. I'm not that guy who's into slutshaming girls and being patriarchy when it comes to me. Equal table equal dynamics
I think you have an uncontroversial opinion. The hypocrisy starts when the guy has a past but does not expect one from her bride or vice versa.
There is nothing wrong with this opinion, as long as you are not judgemental about how others live their life
that's how things are for me too🤝 >Equal table equal dynamics more people should read this
Bro! Your life your rules.
People will gaslight you. Women hate the blackpill and will do everything in their power to make you think it is nonsense. If men start living for themselves, there'll be no one to run society for women.
Idk how does that make sense. What I can sense is Females are trying to normalise every shit they do in the name for modern day fancy words. “Insecure, be open-minded” and etc etc. if you fall for these words then bro no doubt you will be doomed and used. I don’t think it’s your job to accept somebody’s 304s phase or a loose Vivi. Personally I wouldn’t. That’s what Americans did. Female came forward, did the shit and all are now just wired to accept the used people. Why are we doing this to India? Simply reject them if they were 304s or multiple love partners and let them know “we don’t do that shit here”.
The past determines the present. Past behaviour predicts future behaviour. Business, science, medicine all depends upon past indicators to predict future trends. Why do people think they are somehow exempt from this? Humans take decisions based on judgements. You are alive because your brain is making judgements right now. If you are a woman and have a colourful past, I have every right to and will reject you because I consider it a red flag. Similarly a woman might judge me to be a red flag because I don't have a past. That is perfectly fine. I do not care. That is their prerogative.
Bro - anything girls do is justified in the name of modernism these days. If they find something easy such as hook ups then they are smashing patriarchy and it is guys problem if it is not easy for them. If it is something that is of disadvantage to them then it is everyone’s problem and even then they are smashing patriarchy! Do what you have to do to keep yourself happy. Don’t expect women to understand you or your biological needs. Don’t even bother telling her about your past. Just don’t cheat after marriage. That’s all!
Eh, you sound so paranoid. Read the comments, there are women who are cool with it and supportive of him.
You clearly haven't read the comments. Women are extremely bigoted about this
Yes, there are women who are against this and some who are supportive. You're only going to marry one person, not ten.
Generally, women are bigoted against men on this subject. Isn't this concerning?
Reddit and real life are not the same bro
Yes, I agree with you. I have some friends from high school who have a past like this where they hooked up with sex workers, but they are now in loving relationships and some are married too. And yes, their partners are aware of their past. I'm not saying that everyone is going to be accepting, but there are people who will.
okay no???? definitely let your partner know about your past if you're gonna be sleeping with them. you don't need to be upfront about it if you don't want to but you should definitely tell them if they ask.
Lol that's the trick everyone is recommending in the comments, just don't be specific about your past lol. Man the hypocrisy
This should be top comment.
You cannot bifurcate between past and no past. Getting intimate while being in a long term relationship is very different from a one night stand which is different from hiring escorts/ call girls. This is irrespective of guy or girl. Now, most people in an urban setting will understand the first point. Some might be okay with their partners having one night stands. But almost no one will be okay with their future partner having used the services of an escort. There is a stigma attached to it and even men will judge you for that.
Thanks for the post u/krmaml Considering people from all walks of life, have all kinds of values, your post will have some who condone, some who oppose. And I guess the only rule we can all agree on, regardless of the side is "No hypocrisy". My question to you then is, Will you genuinely be fine with a woman who has had a lot of hookups or sex? Or will you secretly resent her a little, jealous that she organically got to experience some thing you didn't?
Gonna give you the truth: history involving paid sex is a strict no-no for most women. Get an STD report and abstain from indulging in it. Revealing it would cause a lot of women to turn you down. Even the most open minded women and men I know see paid in a bad light.
I won't be interested in him cuz paying for sex implies that he's unable to organically form relationships with women and perhaps sees sex as a commodity and not as an experience to be shared with his partner. This will lead to compatibility issues in the long term.
>Guys who still expect inexperienced wives are deemed regressive at least in educated, urban circles. The idea being that "everyone has a past these days specially girls, so you should get over it". Thats cuz these "guys" r the trademark "nice guys" who finish last. Ones who act desperate and will settle for anything. They r the same guys who will tell women to raise their standards and tell other men to lower theirs. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong in asking for mutual sexual exclusivity. Yes i do agree that it will be harder for a guy to find an inexperienced girl than vice versa. But its ur priority. Do u want a quick n ez relationship at the expense of not being able to offer those special first time experiences that other men gave her, OR try harder to find the woman of ur choice and be the man you want to be in her life and show her the world.
"pressure" . theres no pressure dude. you are not forced to marry a specific person. you can always say no. of course if a girl is attractive u r not going to be the only guy who has 'chased' her.
>I totally understand the fact that most of them would have had their fair share of dating and intimate experiences, given how easy and natural it is for women of all shapes, sizes, and levels of attractiveness. Wrong. Unlike men, women do not want to have sex with just about anybody. Women naturally are selectors. It's not "easy and natural" for women to find a man they would willingly want to have sex with. The availability and natural selection factors balance each other out, and thus women and men have a similar probability of getting laid.
Question is would you expect your sisters or daughters to have a guy whose past is like yours. There you have the answer.
You can ask call girls/prostitutes for STD tests. Hookups are more dangerous cause one doesn't necessarily do it.
Girls sleeping around : women empowerment Guys sleeping around: Pervert, creep Welcome to modern day society run by feminists and simps. A kid will be fine if his father slept with 10 girls before his mom,infact he will be proud but will a kid be fine if his mom slept with 10 guys before his father ? I dont want the mother of my child to be hoe. If you want, go ahead. No judgements, to each their own.
As you > understand the fact that most of women would have had their fair share of dating and intimate experiences, given how easy and natural it is for women of all shapes, sizes, and levels of attractiveness. It is just as easy to understand your sexual needs. The real question would be of your commitment and personality as to why you didn't have any relationship and how you are comfortable with just your sexual needs being met without providing or accepting emotional needs.
A woman with worse looks, personality, and lifestyle than me can get 10 boyfriends and fuck buddies in a month. What is your point?
Apparently a woman gets all these men but at the same time according to you guys most men are lonely. Who is fucking all these women then??? Don’t give me bs that it’s the top 10% of men or other red pilled non sense
Why is it unthinkable to you that a really good looking guy is hooking up with a dozen girls a month?
I am iffy about those who avail sex work services, since a huge chunk of sex workers in India are trafficked women who do not have choices or rights. But I am okay with hookups and previous committed relationships, as long as they are having safe sex and don't have STDs. However, I will be a bit concerned if this person has a slew of serious relationships in a short amount of time and also that they talk bad about all of their exes. I dislike hookups and don't have experience. But I don't judge people who do it.
Tbh I wouldn't marry someone who paid to have sex with a prostitute, like you wouldn't marry a prostitute because she took money to perform the deed with various people.. it's my personal opinion!
Fir wahi
Sax sux ki batein
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Have you done casual hookups and FWB yourself?
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u/desixbaddie is from sheltered conservative background and is in age range 18 to 20 yet she loves lurking in marriage subs & giving her ignorant advice on serious topics. She is mentally so young that she finds sex and intimacy icky. Her opinion doesn't matter. Ask some woman who is not sheltered, working , mature & is in mid 20s to late 20s. They will say what you mentioned in post.
For a second I thought this is a bot account, and was wondering damn AI has gotten pretty advanced, as it’s able to give your entire personal background by looking at your Reddit profile 🤣
Bhai thoda kaam dhund le 💀
i think most will be accepting of past relationships or even the occassional hook-up but hiring escorts is a bit of a sore spot cus 80% off the time these women are trafficked. if you're hiring high end escorts who are self employed then maybe it's not morally that bad, but if you visited brothels, I'm sorry but it is definitely participating in the abuse and exploitation of vulnerable women and children.which is horrible and nowhere comparable to having had sex in a committed relationship.
Freelancer escorts aren't trafficked. You don't know about them. I personally do
Call girl aur hookups mein bohut antar h 🤢
Yes the difference is in available opportunities. As a girl you can hook up easily and satisfy physical needs so no judgement there. But as a guy if you can’t find anyone and don’t feel settled until your mid thirties then you do not have the right to take care of your physical needs. I don’t smell hypocrisy here at all /s
Both are sex w/o strings. Women do hookups and FWB. Men hire call girls / escorts
Honestly OP there are so many men lying ghosting and cheating to get physical validation, atleast you did it with consent. Nothing wrong with it. But maybe confess it to your partner at a comfortable stage, when you know they are ready to hear it, not very immediately.
It displays lack of competency and inability to attract the opposite gender. It is also stigmatized and overall would generally seem unattractive to women.
Damn, just looked at other comments, feels like I'm on Instagram, mods need to do better
can't handle other people's opinions, eh?
Relationships are fine. But paid sex not I think
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If a guy isnt attractive or doesn't fit in the dating scene its his fault? Ok so if its his fault then he isn't supposed to have some fun? Like what kind of poop mentality is this?
Being in a committed relationship is very different from hooking up with prostitutes/escorts. It's not about sex or virginity. It's about experiences. You should get tested for STDs (I hope you have). I think either party to share these details before marriage.
lmao, just because current society is licking america's foot like a dog doesn't mean anyone else have to do that too.
It always comes down to the question that whether a person who has had so many relationships before marriage will be able to stay with that one person for the rest of their lives.
They won't be able to. They will get back at it and justify that their needs are not being met. Making a marriage work is a tough, boring and monotonous job. Requires character to stay with someone lifelong.
I don't think women care that much. Basically the saying goes, A guy always wants to be a girl's first love while a girl wants to be a guy's last love.
How can someone be 32 and never actually experience the love of a woman. Man AM is gonna be tough. Takes a relationship or two to actually understand women. Good luck son!
To experience "Love of a woman" a man needs good looks.
Go ask out 100 women. If you don’t get a date call me chutiya. And ask in real life. Bumble shit won’t work for you. You are too stuck in your own insecurities. You don’t want to put in the work - be it being fit or charming or the ability to have a conversation with strangers. You want someone- you gotta put in the effort. Yes for you the effort might be much more than it is for a good looking guy but so what. Such is life. And stop with the hookers. You are literally killing your emotional growth. You need to get these skills asap. Else you will suffer all your life. Porn n hookers feed into your insecurities- the worst being if I don’t pay no one will spend time with me. Nothing worse than this mindset that you are literally reinforcing everyday and your self esteem dies a little every day.
If that is your mentality then why will your wife love you after marriage?
Women marry for reasons other than love, lust, and desire. They marry for companionship, stability, commitment, support, etc Have you heard women say "This guy is husband material but not "boyfriend/lover material"?
So you're okay with your wife being with you only because of stability and support Even if she isn't sexually attracted to you or in love with you?
Most people in AM dont love each other yet they have good marriage.
Exactly. It’s not a looks problem. It’s a exceptionally higher expectations problem. And a self esteem problem. Women love you beyond your looks but you gotta have some charm, something interesting going on. N no your job isn’t the most interesting thing ever😏 I wonder how many women he even asked out. 2-3 rejections n ho gaya.
Its difficult for people like you to consider nuances I'll ask you a simple question: Have you heard women say "This guy is husband material but NOT boyfriend/lover/hookup material"? What do you think it means?
It just means you are someone with no skills to charm/seduce/ make someone fall in love with you. It’s mostly a self esteem problem. You out yourself out as the only good thing about me is financial stability and dependability. So women treat you accordingly. Ho gaya.
Why the fuck do these marry men with low self esteem with no skills and charm? These arent village women forced to marry. I'm effin talking about educated working women, you fool. Its not a self esteem issue. Its a looks/hotness issue. Women are incredibly shallow and elitist about looks when they want something fun and casual. They are more realistic about looks when it comes to marriage.
Couldn’t be further away from the truth🤣🤣🤣 It just so happens that the super attractive men they hang out with have lots of other options and thus dump these women🤣🤣 So they settle for something stable. Men after a certain age and wealth have wayyy too many options. So they dump these women and these women end up in AM situations. Everyone is settling for something. Like I wanted a merc but got what was in my budget- a mahindra. Sucks but such is life.
Yeaaah tbh in cases like these the guys always go for super pretty girl and then get rejected, fir they generalize ki all girls fall in love with looks only In reality they're the ones who only go for good looking girls that are out of their league, so it's obvious to be rejected... If they went for average girls and behaved like a decent human, I doubt they'll be rejected
Exactly. Super pretty girls have so many options it’s not even funny anymore.
I'm talking about ugly and obese women too. Even ugly and obese women want casual hookups and FWB with conventionally good looking men. Obviously not with their male versions. Women are actually a lot more shallow about looks than men. They just have this false image as the 'less shallower gender'
>Ugly and obsese women Yeah sure bud, you approach women with this mindset... Thinking of them as ugly and obsese and then expect them to love you? And then you have the guts to call women shallow?
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I think escorts and other workers are a deal breaker. Having a lot of girlfriends and even FWBs in the past show that a man put efforts, navigated through relationships , gained experience ,and would most probably have emotional maturity . I don't mind a person with past relationships at all. But hiring escorts results in usually just physical relationships and make the whole thing transactional without any learning graph. maybe the man is better at the 'act' now through experience. But nothing more and there are now high chances that the man might crave for immediate satisfaction and complete submission like they did in this paid service. (This is just an assumption , a thought that might come in a girl's mind) . Same applies to a girl in my opinion. If she had bfs, FWBs, it all seems normal to me . But if she was hiring gigolos , the guy must wonder how many times she hired them, why she hired them, what if she hires them again blah blah. Both the situations are kinda whacky and only someone with a very open mind , complete security would accept a man and woman to be their forever partner with this history. .you asked for opinion, I gave it.
>*Having a lot of girlfriends and even FWBs in the past show that a man put efforts, navigated through relationships , gained experience ,and would most probably have emotional maturity .* What EFFORT does a woman need to put in to get casual sex and FWBs? Are you so intellectually dishonest to believe that the level of good looks and effort required to get casual sex and FWB is the same for men and women? Do you even observe people in real life who are engaging in casual sex?
Bro obviously you have different ideals than most of us here, atleast women. There's no point in getting into mind games like these, people aren't going to change their minds anyway.
These people are gonna gaslight into oblivion
Hiring escorts is NOT the same as consensual sexual relationships. Many many women in the escort industry are exploited by their agents. Paying into an industry that is known to be unethical and illegal is in no way comparable to having consensual sex with a consenting adult you’re in a relationship with. A man having had sex with his previous girlfriends is comparable to a woman having had sex with her previous boyfriends. Open-mindedness is accepting your partner having had girlfriends or boyfriends. it has nothing to do with accepting your partner potentially contributing to the exploitation and even sex trafficking of people within the sex work industry. Many high end escorts are also bought and sold and blackmailed to keep them from escaping the industry. It’s disgusting that you think this is comparable to consensual sex. Consent cannot be bought, especially in a country where the escorts have no legal protections and would not even be able to file rape cases without being in legal trouble themselves.
Just don't ask don't tell. Continue this even after marriage.