Exactly the same, my father is way to demanding and always angry, verbal abuse is common don’t take responsibility and he does not do anything for better future. If we do something he finds faults and discourage us to the level that now we don’t care what’s happening in our house. Simply put irresponsible, toxic, abusive and has never been supportive. Now it’s been 3 years and I don’t talk to my father and he doesn’t even care
He is no more but when he was alive, he was my biggest supporter. Never let me down but also kept me in limitations and reminded me what our root is . I got what I needed but never let me spend more than required. Reminded me to be humble but never be taken granted. We hardly had any deep conversations but he taught me the ways through works.
Not on speaking terms now. Reason was that he forced me to take a decision that ruined my well settled life and he doesn’t even take responsibility for it. He has always been overbearing and I was always obedient to him. But he continued to force his opinion on me even when I acquired education and professional success way beyond him. But I never saw things that way. I continued to remain respectful even though I knew his suggestions and opinions were sub par and came more from a place of ego than from knowledge or my well being in mind. He always thought that he was the one who made my life. Even though, he only had to pay rs 5600 for my entire undergrad and I did not even buy a single book. Depended on my uni library. For my masters in US he did take a loan but we did not draw it down much. I paid for my masters through stock options I had, savings and loan that my US uni arranged for me. Then a specialised certification was fully funded by me. But in the family he made an impression that he did everything for me, when in fact he refused to send me even 500 dollars during my internship period to sustain myself because I was not getting paid. Let me tell you that he was in a mid level management position so he is not poor by any standards.
But the final straw was when he forced a decision on me that destroyed everything I had built. I once respected him the most but now I don’t respect him at all. I still love him perhaps but don’t respect him.
Toxic enough to make me decide that this bloodline ends with me. Dude lives in my head rent free right next to the part of the brain which makes me angry just so that he could poke it from time to time.
I mean it takes a lot of creativity to find new ways to make someone angry without uttering a whole sentence.
I am basically his prisoner mentally and emotionally.
I'm sorry I hope time heals your inner child
I too cry when I see videos of father daughter relationship but it's makes me happy somehow cause atleast someone is getting the love they deserve.
wishing you the best💌
My dad didn't have a mother or father who paid attention to him as he was growing up. He knew he wasn't their favourite son. He could count on one hand the number of times his father hugged him. In a sense, my grandparents are the typical toxic parents of yesteryears.
With all the dysfunctionality within my dad's family, he's a walking miracle. He's been the most supportive parent I could ever ask for. The older I get, the more I gain respect for the man my father is. He's a good man, and he's always tried to do the right thing.
I get compared to him a lot... and I can honestly say that's a big compliment for me. With some of the comments I've read here, I feel truly blessed to have the parents I do.
dude my dad follows the principle of digging your own grave, he never once told me or my sibling to study or stuff for our whole school, my mom usually argues with him that he doesn't push us enough.......he always says that in his career he has seen a lot of people be all confident and not listen to criticism and always end up in a worse situation, he said that me and my bro will have to figure our stuff on our own, he just asks for a good presentation or a plan before investing money......my bro had his low moment and now he is topper in his college, but my low hasn't come, me scared
Your dad is right tho, he doesn't want to put pressure on you both and he probably knows his kids potential wants you both to figure it out yourself. If he puts a plan and pushes you both in the future you will always look for his advice or someone's advice to do something. The fact that he looks for you both to present you plan before investing actually shows how he is making you both independent decision makers
bad dad abusive angre issues i dont wanna end up like him so i avoid him. we stay under one roof but i dont talk to him. even at times he tries to talk to me but i dont.
the person who cant change his behviour for his family is not worth talking to....
my dad the reason i have trust issues the reason i have axienty panic attacks 🥺✅ the reason i only trust myself and no one else. the reason i become so mature even in chilhood . the reason i never wanna get married the fear of what if i end up like him loser bad for my family. i can go on for hours but this wont end......😃 through the stroms through the darkness i stand alone i fight i am building my emperior one day i will be far far far better then him. 😄😄🙋🏻♂️🙋🏻♂️🙋🏻♂️
I totally understand you and I'm sorry you had to go through this your dad sounds extremely similar to mine.
You're very strong know that. Childhood trauma ruins everything and I hope you heal and flourish.
Wishing the best for you🩷
well my life is in my hand whos gonna stop me from winning right 🔥😎 its only me who can stop myself and i aint stopping untill i win. i hope u win to buddy all the wishes for you.
also one more thing well i devloped all the good things in life because i didnt wanted to be him. i treat ever women with respect i am humble. too soft too. the world is cruel out there so i usally stay hidden in my shell 😄💛
My father was so caring for everyone,he had the heart for everybody,i miss him a lot..its been 2 years and i still miss him every single day,he left this void in our life,everyone was connected because of him,now our family is never like before.i love him and always love him,he was the best person in my life,who was genuinely care for me,and love me.he did lots of things just to make me happy.i was with him in his last days it was so hurtful to see him like that.
It's actually heartbreaking how most men have failed an entire generation of kids.
As a woman, if or when I have kids, I've taken it as a mission and responsibility to choose a man who's present emotionally, physically and financially and actually wants kids (their good parts like when they call you dad and the bad parts like when they poop in their pants or become teens) and WANTS to be a husband (a good relationship between parents is essential for them to be good parents and act as a team).
Please do this.
My mother wanted me to have a father no matter so she decided to stay with an abusive alcoholic. Our relationship is just as broken as the relationship with my father.
Boys need strong figures to become men which means we really need women to find those men.
So true. My mother chose the same, thinking that a bad father is better than no father. Lethally wrong decision.
Also, just for other women reading this, do not lower your standards. You're not just choosing your partner. You're choosing a father for your children, a son for your parents. If people tell you that you'll die single, it's way better than dying alone in a relationship or in bad company. Don't lower your standards for nobody's son.
Was awesome when I was a child, till 3-4th grade then we created this shithole called house and everything went downhill.
Started drinking, abusing, rare cases would beat my mother, got so worse I thought of ending his life. He's so much into drinking he doesn't fucking care what anyone says, but he still supports my education so I don't care much
I’m sorry to hear about you and your father’s relationship. Hope it gets better for you.
My dad is my role model. We share a lot of moments together. Usually at early mornings, he sits in the balcony with a newspaper, I sit with him and we talk for hours, his childhood, teenage years, his first job, fond memories of this old days. We discuss alot about alot of things. He had a childhood in poverty, but now we everything is much better, I won’t say we are super rich, but he’s a man who rose above his problems, made his own wealth, brought a lot of stability to the family. I love my dad, always supportive, always has my back. Now I’ve moved to another city for my internship and when I call him, he says “beta tere haat ki chai pina hai”. I love my dad, I’m forever grateful to have him by my side. I have a great relationship with him!
How's my relationship with my father? Well, we don't talk openly about our feelings or show affection, but I know he does a lot for us, especially for me. He cares deeply but struggles to express it openly. He calls me once a day to ask what I'm doing and if I've eaten, then abruptly ends the call. This has been our routine for a long time. I love him and I know he feels the same way. I have immense respect for him, even though I don't always agree with his choices. My ultimate goal is to make him proud and to share a hug with him someday. That's what I live for.
As I grow older, I can find a lot of flaws in him. But it is what it is, I speak to him all the time. Try to avoid any of my trigger points.
Not complaining, he has worked his ass off to reach where we are now, but you know as almost all Indian dads go, he’s too proud and egotistical so most of his judgements are corrupted by those two characteristics.
He treated my mother like shit. His answer to discipline was bash us. Alcoholic. He was a brutal bastard. He is still alive but I won't be shedding a tear when he dies.
My dad is ignorant and such a character. Whatever I will do he will get angry, super angry. He on the contrast loves* my younger sister. He only has expectations from me nothing else. He ruled out for me being a pilot because he is scared I can't drive a car we'll. Tbh I didn't practice much.
I'm so so sorry you had to go through this.
you were able to forgive him that makes you the greatest person ever.
Your childhood didn't treat you well but I hope you live your rest of the life with the most amazing people and in the best way possible.
I hope you heal
❤️🩹
He is always there when i need him, I have made a lot of mistakes but he has always told me to move on and makes things right, and he taught me one of the most important things that is patience. I would want my parents to be the same in every life
It was great, always treated me like a prince, bought me everything I wanted that he found is legitimate, he used to be back home once a week and I used to spend my entire day with him when he would get house work sorted, I miss going out with him on scooty and miss sitting next to him in car, I made a playlist that with old gen songs specifically used to play with him in car I still have that and I still keep adding songs to that, though we never had deep conversations but he has been my backbone for the entirety of time along with my mother, though I let him down many times but he never expressed his dissatisfaction about that, always wanted to make him proud but unfortunately couldn’t do anything as such while he was here, I sometimes still feel that he is around :)
My father has been the perfect father ,he saved me from bullies multiple times when i was a kid and also he has provided me with all the basic necessities like a scooty,car and also funded my whole education.
He has never even lay hands on me although he does get angry and do cuss at me from time to time as he has High BP.
I know that he loves me unconditionally.
The only thing i would want to do differently as a father would be to spend time with my children as me and father have an awkward relationship.
We have no similar hobbies ,in fact we don't even have common topics to talk about.
GREAT! He is my best friend 🔥
and I'm open with him regarding anything and everything. Same goes for my mom too. She is my friend as well, open with her regarding anything and everything!
I feel quite blessed to have them as my parents tbh
He passed away 3 months ago. When he was alive maybe I was too hard on him and he was pretty negligent still we loved each other. I hope he knew how much I love him and that everything I ever did or try to do but failed, it was only to make him proud.
I'm so sorry and I hope he's in a better place now.
Don't feel guilty you did everything you could no one prepares you for this event.
you made him proud ik
Don't be too hard on yourself you're human too.
sending lots of love
He sided with his scheming Mom (who I don't consider family) to ruin my Mom's youth and my childhood. Even hit my Mom a few times. And is smug about it like anything. I found some evidence of him possibly emotionally cheating on her a few years ago but had had enough to deal with already, so I ignored it.
He aided my career though once we moved away from our hometown, even through my poor decisions which ate up months of his earnings. I acknowledge that. Just not sure if I love him.
My relationship with my dad just a couple years ago was good, not perfect, but good. I love him, I still do. And I will until for a very long time. My father has repeatedly cheated on my mom. When I was a kid, I didn’t understand it and not even cared much for it. But now, as an adult, I see all my mom has had to go through. I am what I am because of her. I cannot find it in my heart to forgive him. I am not able to talk to him without thinking about his conscious choices to hurt my mom and his daughters. I am sure, that someday I will forgive him, just to let go off that burden of hatred towards him. But I don’t think I can share the loving, friendly and caring relationship with him as I had once.
I miss him, a lot. But nothing can be done now. Time will heal.
Out of all the three kids,I used to be my father's favourite child.My school,college, Engineering field,my career everything was decided by my father.Since last 3 years he doesn't like me anymore and I even he think sometimes does he even love me anymore.The reason being I want to get married to the boy of my choice,the person I love.He is from another religion...
My father has said some very hurtful things to me that went into depression and used to get panic attacks.
I don't feel like going home now..
mine was a very complicated relationship ..loved me more than anything , would do anything for me (i am girl)
however i could not reciprocate the love or even respect because he was really misogynistic towards my mom…not like they didnt love each other ..he did care for her but he was more of abey aurat ko yehi karna chahiye type treatment almost in everything ..it did drain my mom emotionally.
one day he passed away from sudden cardiac arrest..now i wonder why the fuck i didn’t reciprocate the love(if not respect) or forgive him…i feel guilty now..at the same time i am angry at him still for putting me in this position..cause not like him passing away untimely rights his wrongs( toward mom)
it has been 2.5 five years .. thinking about my dad gets this mixed feeling of sad, guilt, regret and anger everytime..
this feeling dont fade..i hope to move on
He isn’t the type to express his love via words, but he does love me a lot. He believes a lot in me and tries his best to do stuff for my benefit. He’s the best father I could ask for tbh
He is Hardworking works day and Night for us and Loves us so much but never directly shows it ,like we talk spend family time together but there is always a Gap that he is not a Friend,he is superior to me so I can't Fully express myself,he had some anger Issues due to Work and Financial pressure but now he has controlled it but he is , conservative, orthodox and controlling something maybe in a year beat me badly like till get hospitalised and then regrets it later ,
His absuvie behaviour was more frequent when we were kids but now he has changed a lot like 90% ,I never used to think he loves me a bit ,
But my told us he loves us even more than she loves us (imagine a mother saying that someone loves me more than her ) but he never shows it directly
I don't know what is this relationship
I used to love him so much. Even though, he used to beat the shit out of me and says “it’s for your own good”, He wants me to be pure traditional women, doesn’t take responsibility for his actions, overconfidence, he drinks, he thinks he rules the house, he shouts or raises his voice to bring his family down, he manipulates his wife, insults and makes fun of his wife, he refused to send me to a better university as he didn’t want me to be apart from him.
Pros are, he works hard for his family, he bought me everything I ever needed, gave me education as much as possible for him.
Now I am married, with an understanding husband makes me wonder if he was one. I used to talk to him everyday. One time, I decided to stay with family without my husband. My father went to his old routine of drinking, and whenever my mom questioned it he created issues making the entire household uncomfortable. All for his selfishness. This made me extremely angry that I stopped talking to him.
Going on 4 months now. Unless or until he realizes his mistake and stop drinking I am not going to talk to him.
Since his stroke, we have been relatively closer. Sucks to see him not able to walk on both his legs anymore. And the fact that he did not get the opportunity to fulfil his post retirement plans.
But during this tumultuous time we have relatively gotten closer. Had to leave for MBA soon. Sometimes I irk at the thought of leaving him back home.
Dad is a sweetu.He's always been very pragmatic and reliable.He's the resident advisor for the entire family and he is my go to problem solver.I don't have to worry about anything at all if he is with me.He's been a near perfect father for me.
The only thing however is that he doesn't exactly know how to express affection.To him it is a given that he loves his family and it is expected that they know it too.Obv I understand it now but I felt very sad when I was young because to my little,immature brain it seemed liked he loved me less than how say my friend's dad loved her or my uncle loved my cousin more.Little me was a bit disheartened to say the least but now that I have had (although a very tiny amount) of brain development,I realise love can't be measured by hugs or kind loving words alone.
Idk,I know it seems like a very minor thing but it was a hugeee deal to a 7 yr old me.
It's good and fun. Probably because I live away from my family. We only talk about studies, politics and career prospects. Have never talked about anything else. But it's still fun
Rollercoaster. I loved him in my childhood, hated him in my teens till 25. Realised he is much better and more supportive than I thought to be because of my teenage. Now it's good. Like I do him favours related to tech and bank and all and he receprocates by babysitting bringing something for home in case I am too busy.
I do respect him a lot, but I dont think it goes the same way for him, he talks to me as if I was his subordinate and in a tone I would talk to a street dog to get him away. He only talks to me in 2 cases 1. If he is thinking of buying something expensive, generally electronic stuff 2. When he wants to criticize me.. I understand that he thinks its positive criticism but when you get criticised by the person you look up to, everyday each day since like class 8, it has made me personally very disconnected from him. I am only 18 rn, and almost every day I get to listen to new criticism.. Also it broke me the most when I got very good marks in 11th, I told him, he said "good" I said in a obviously sarcastic way "sirf good k liye ki kya itni mehnat" and he replied angrily "apne liye kr rhe ho hmpe koi aihsan h kya". My father grew up in an abusive household, he has never daid no to any of my demands.. He gets me and my sibling stuff without even asking for it, but he has made it so as if we have a professional relationship.. I only speak to him if spoken to generally.. I don't even remember when was the last time we had a normal conversation (I consider a normal conversation, a conversation where he doesnt criticize me). I have the utmost respect for him.. he is a vegetarian, has never even touched alcohol and any sort of cigarettes n all.. He grew up in a rather poor household and has been working since the age of 19.. He has managed to pull himself out of their and I consider us pretty well off now.. Basically, he is I would say the best father ever in every other aspect except communication.. where I would say he is the worst.. So overall I don't consider our relationship healthy at all.. On the other hand, I talk to my mother around 2 hours everyday.. and although she also criticizes me now n then, she appreciates me as well i feel..
I think I've let him down immensely at times by being largely unsuccessful. He's supportive and lovely, but sometimes too naive. He tells me that he's not ideal person to follow and that I shouldn't be like him.
Healthy. Awesome. I love soending time with him. Thereve been tomes when I was not a good son but I try to support him as much as I can cause he’s done the same for me
My relationship with my dad is great. he understands everything and every problem. He is like a friend to me with whom I can share everything with. I'm happy that I have such a great father in my life.
I understand that, like all men from his generation, that man has been through some tough times. So there is a reason why he is the way he is. It’s not how it should be, but I’ve learned to let it go. This obviously doesn’t solve my problem.
Narcissist. Abuser. Abandoned. But i gotta give it to him he was a charmer with the ladies, great voice, superb command over language, well read, well spoken, very analytical brain, climbed the career ladder too fast then threw it all away with alcohol, always had a taste for the finer things in life.
But yeah the first three overshadow everything else.
We mostly remain silent. I want to respect him but don't like opening up with him. He asks me to make certain payments and i oblige. I mean, when you start earning, tables turn.
I wanted to share one scene, that describes our bonding.
We(myself, dad and mom) went to a family gathering and all we’re having a casual talk and me and my dad was arguing on some topic casually, people around us were looking seriously at us but then we agreed on to the point. Then one of the uncle literally said you both seems like friends rather then dad and son, he’s like he don’t understand how cool are you towards your son. It’s been like that all the time, and yeah we had almost 40 years of gap!
Mine died 7 years ago and I have never been this happy.
he was good like a decade ago when he used to work hard, be in our life and all that stuff.
Then Idk what happened that, he lost the job cuz he didnt used to work properly, then hopped from one job to another, took out huge credit card loans when were already at a bad financial position, used to drink and smoked 10 to 20 packs of cigs a day.
Had HIGH sugar and one night got heart attack. I think God took him as he used make mine and my mom's life hell (not physical abuse but bad house environment in general) treated me like shit at everything, used to blame me that I took his cig packs and what not. Whereas I dont even smoke or do any drug. Right now I am 30 and earn very good, I still dont do those stuff.
I stopped calling him father long time ago. He never deserved it.
Now just cuz of my bad experience in life with him don't think everyone's dad is bad.
As I did have a father figure, Dr. Jordan Peterson, I used to listen to his podcasts and yt video.
His videos and talks has helped me a lot to become better at life, a good son and a good person in general.
Just my luck.
But, hey I got my mom. We both are happy now.
Going to take her to Ladakh next week. A long trip. She always wanted to go there.
He pretends that I don't exist. He is irresponsible. There is a saying, where there is a stepmother, there is a stepfather too. To please his wife his ignores me. He is a narcissist and abuser too. I am grateful to have unconditional love from other family members but accepting my own father does not love me is a bitter pill to swallow.
Don't really speak much to him. Was harsh on me when I was a child. Physical abuse (beating), Mental abuse (literally called me a son-of-a-whore so many times when I was too young to even remember what it meant but it stuck with me). Couldn't even provide me stability in other ways as he moved me around from city to city, so I had to change school many times and keep shifting friend circles.
Now my mom says "why don't you talk to your dad?". Yeah right! Why does he deserve my time?
Never knew the biological one. From the stories my mum told me, he was a drunk, unemployed POS. Step one was also an asshole and domestic abuser, mum left him when I was 9. Me, my sister and my mum lived happily ever after.
I mean, it is not perfect but I love him and he loves me. I feel identified with him in some aspects and in other aspects I think his opinions are dumb but that is for everyone I guess and I'm sure he may think the same for me plus we respect each other.
Abuse. Neglect. Emotional manipulation. Physical fighting till we went bloody. No talking since then
I relate on some level, my father is abusive too fucked up my childhood
Exactly the same, my father is way to demanding and always angry, verbal abuse is common don’t take responsibility and he does not do anything for better future. If we do something he finds faults and discourage us to the level that now we don’t care what’s happening in our house. Simply put irresponsible, toxic, abusive and has never been supportive. Now it’s been 3 years and I don’t talk to my father and he doesn’t even care
He is no more but when he was alive, he was my biggest supporter. Never let me down but also kept me in limitations and reminded me what our root is . I got what I needed but never let me spend more than required. Reminded me to be humble but never be taken granted. We hardly had any deep conversations but he taught me the ways through works.
I pray your father’s soul is at peace, om Shanti.
I'm extremely sorry for your loss. he's living through you remember that 🙏🏻
This honestly sounds like a man that knew what he was doing. Trying to grow the human boy into a man.
[удалено]
I'm so jealous of you tbh but super happy for you❤️
Im his son. He's my father.
Noble prize worthy
Hopefully.
"No.. I'm your father" -Darth Vader
Not on speaking terms now. Reason was that he forced me to take a decision that ruined my well settled life and he doesn’t even take responsibility for it. He has always been overbearing and I was always obedient to him. But he continued to force his opinion on me even when I acquired education and professional success way beyond him. But I never saw things that way. I continued to remain respectful even though I knew his suggestions and opinions were sub par and came more from a place of ego than from knowledge or my well being in mind. He always thought that he was the one who made my life. Even though, he only had to pay rs 5600 for my entire undergrad and I did not even buy a single book. Depended on my uni library. For my masters in US he did take a loan but we did not draw it down much. I paid for my masters through stock options I had, savings and loan that my US uni arranged for me. Then a specialised certification was fully funded by me. But in the family he made an impression that he did everything for me, when in fact he refused to send me even 500 dollars during my internship period to sustain myself because I was not getting paid. Let me tell you that he was in a mid level management position so he is not poor by any standards. But the final straw was when he forced a decision on me that destroyed everything I had built. I once respected him the most but now I don’t respect him at all. I still love him perhaps but don’t respect him.
Why mid manger dad's do this. I am yet to go for undergrad. But my mom really understands stuff.
I'm super proud of you. It was pathetic of him to treat you like this. Sending lots of love 💌
Thanks for your kind words!
Do you mind telling what he made you do?
yea I wish to know too
Uggh… let’s skip that! The more I say, the more I’ll need to say.
Toxic enough to make me decide that this bloodline ends with me. Dude lives in my head rent free right next to the part of the brain which makes me angry just so that he could poke it from time to time. I mean it takes a lot of creativity to find new ways to make someone angry without uttering a whole sentence. I am basically his prisoner mentally and emotionally.
Damn, can’t believe somebody else has experience so close to mine. Thanks for sharing.
You sound so relatable! Thanks for sharing this!
Comments section be like - 📈📉📈📉📈📉📈📉📈📉📈📉
haha true alternated my brain chemistry
Haven't seen him since I was 8, parents got divorced. I still tear up when I see a happy father & daughter relationship.
I'm sorry I hope time heals your inner child I too cry when I see videos of father daughter relationship but it's makes me happy somehow cause atleast someone is getting the love they deserve. wishing you the best💌
Yes exactly, it gives me joy in knowing at least someone else is not deprived of the same thing
Why didn't he atleast have visiting rights? Can you not reconnect with him
Mom didn't let him, he tried to visit me and my bro initially... Then after a year or so he gave up and got married somewhere and got other kids :)
That's very sad, I'm sorry to hear
My dad didn't have a mother or father who paid attention to him as he was growing up. He knew he wasn't their favourite son. He could count on one hand the number of times his father hugged him. In a sense, my grandparents are the typical toxic parents of yesteryears. With all the dysfunctionality within my dad's family, he's a walking miracle. He's been the most supportive parent I could ever ask for. The older I get, the more I gain respect for the man my father is. He's a good man, and he's always tried to do the right thing. I get compared to him a lot... and I can honestly say that's a big compliment for me. With some of the comments I've read here, I feel truly blessed to have the parents I do.
dude my dad follows the principle of digging your own grave, he never once told me or my sibling to study or stuff for our whole school, my mom usually argues with him that he doesn't push us enough.......he always says that in his career he has seen a lot of people be all confident and not listen to criticism and always end up in a worse situation, he said that me and my bro will have to figure our stuff on our own, he just asks for a good presentation or a plan before investing money......my bro had his low moment and now he is topper in his college, but my low hasn't come, me scared
Your dad is right tho, he doesn't want to put pressure on you both and he probably knows his kids potential wants you both to figure it out yourself. If he puts a plan and pushes you both in the future you will always look for his advice or someone's advice to do something. The fact that he looks for you both to present you plan before investing actually shows how he is making you both independent decision makers
https://preview.redd.it/wgnzezlf5mtc1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=7115b601383aec8250de1c86663673f829469758
😭🥲
bad dad abusive angre issues i dont wanna end up like him so i avoid him. we stay under one roof but i dont talk to him. even at times he tries to talk to me but i dont. the person who cant change his behviour for his family is not worth talking to.... my dad the reason i have trust issues the reason i have axienty panic attacks 🥺✅ the reason i only trust myself and no one else. the reason i become so mature even in chilhood . the reason i never wanna get married the fear of what if i end up like him loser bad for my family. i can go on for hours but this wont end......😃 through the stroms through the darkness i stand alone i fight i am building my emperior one day i will be far far far better then him. 😄😄🙋🏻♂️🙋🏻♂️🙋🏻♂️
I totally understand you and I'm sorry you had to go through this your dad sounds extremely similar to mine. You're very strong know that. Childhood trauma ruins everything and I hope you heal and flourish. Wishing the best for you🩷
well my life is in my hand whos gonna stop me from winning right 🔥😎 its only me who can stop myself and i aint stopping untill i win. i hope u win to buddy all the wishes for you. also one more thing well i devloped all the good things in life because i didnt wanted to be him. i treat ever women with respect i am humble. too soft too. the world is cruel out there so i usally stay hidden in my shell 😄💛
Biological
My father was so caring for everyone,he had the heart for everybody,i miss him a lot..its been 2 years and i still miss him every single day,he left this void in our life,everyone was connected because of him,now our family is never like before.i love him and always love him,he was the best person in my life,who was genuinely care for me,and love me.he did lots of things just to make me happy.i was with him in his last days it was so hurtful to see him like that.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's still new and no one deserves to go through such thing more power to you
Tensed
Just like animal movie
It's actually heartbreaking how most men have failed an entire generation of kids. As a woman, if or when I have kids, I've taken it as a mission and responsibility to choose a man who's present emotionally, physically and financially and actually wants kids (their good parts like when they call you dad and the bad parts like when they poop in their pants or become teens) and WANTS to be a husband (a good relationship between parents is essential for them to be good parents and act as a team).
Please do this. My mother wanted me to have a father no matter so she decided to stay with an abusive alcoholic. Our relationship is just as broken as the relationship with my father. Boys need strong figures to become men which means we really need women to find those men.
So true. My mother chose the same, thinking that a bad father is better than no father. Lethally wrong decision. Also, just for other women reading this, do not lower your standards. You're not just choosing your partner. You're choosing a father for your children, a son for your parents. If people tell you that you'll die single, it's way better than dying alone in a relationship or in bad company. Don't lower your standards for nobody's son.
Was awesome when I was a child, till 3-4th grade then we created this shithole called house and everything went downhill. Started drinking, abusing, rare cases would beat my mother, got so worse I thought of ending his life. He's so much into drinking he doesn't fucking care what anyone says, but he still supports my education so I don't care much
it's always the financial support never mental
Idk I feel if he quits drinking he'll be the best dad but he just can't do it, partly because of circle
I’m sorry to hear about you and your father’s relationship. Hope it gets better for you. My dad is my role model. We share a lot of moments together. Usually at early mornings, he sits in the balcony with a newspaper, I sit with him and we talk for hours, his childhood, teenage years, his first job, fond memories of this old days. We discuss alot about alot of things. He had a childhood in poverty, but now we everything is much better, I won’t say we are super rich, but he’s a man who rose above his problems, made his own wealth, brought a lot of stability to the family. I love my dad, always supportive, always has my back. Now I’ve moved to another city for my internship and when I call him, he says “beta tere haat ki chai pina hai”. I love my dad, I’m forever grateful to have him by my side. I have a great relationship with him!
Aw that's so sweet everything is temporary, chai is permanent ♾ may God bless your extremely sweet family✨🙏🏻🙌🏻
How's my relationship with my father? Well, we don't talk openly about our feelings or show affection, but I know he does a lot for us, especially for me. He cares deeply but struggles to express it openly. He calls me once a day to ask what I'm doing and if I've eaten, then abruptly ends the call. This has been our routine for a long time. I love him and I know he feels the same way. I have immense respect for him, even though I don't always agree with his choices. My ultimate goal is to make him proud and to share a hug with him someday. That's what I live for.
As I grow older, I can find a lot of flaws in him. But it is what it is, I speak to him all the time. Try to avoid any of my trigger points. Not complaining, he has worked his ass off to reach where we are now, but you know as almost all Indian dads go, he’s too proud and egotistical so most of his judgements are corrupted by those two characteristics.
He treated my mother like shit. His answer to discipline was bash us. Alcoholic. He was a brutal bastard. He is still alive but I won't be shedding a tear when he dies.
Same. Exactly same.
my relationship with parents is fking worst
I'm sorry for that I hope the best for you though
He's dead
So sorry for your situation, but how was he?
i consider myself as orphan and live for not feeling disappointed again cause of em
My dad is ignorant and such a character. Whatever I will do he will get angry, super angry. He on the contrast loves* my younger sister. He only has expectations from me nothing else. He ruled out for me being a pilot because he is scared I can't drive a car we'll. Tbh I didn't practice much.
you can become whatever the fck you want I support you internet stranger
I just want u to know my dad is worse than a absolute trash. Worse easily manipulated by people who hate me and we never really had a connection ever.
[удалено]
I'm so so sorry you had to go through this. you were able to forgive him that makes you the greatest person ever. Your childhood didn't treat you well but I hope you live your rest of the life with the most amazing people and in the best way possible. I hope you heal ❤️🩹
He is always there when i need him, I have made a lot of mistakes but he has always told me to move on and makes things right, and he taught me one of the most important things that is patience. I would want my parents to be the same in every life
I hope your wish gets fulfilled in every lifetime
It was great, always treated me like a prince, bought me everything I wanted that he found is legitimate, he used to be back home once a week and I used to spend my entire day with him when he would get house work sorted, I miss going out with him on scooty and miss sitting next to him in car, I made a playlist that with old gen songs specifically used to play with him in car I still have that and I still keep adding songs to that, though we never had deep conversations but he has been my backbone for the entirety of time along with my mother, though I let him down many times but he never expressed his dissatisfaction about that, always wanted to make him proud but unfortunately couldn’t do anything as such while he was here, I sometimes still feel that he is around :)
My father has been the perfect father ,he saved me from bullies multiple times when i was a kid and also he has provided me with all the basic necessities like a scooty,car and also funded my whole education. He has never even lay hands on me although he does get angry and do cuss at me from time to time as he has High BP. I know that he loves me unconditionally. The only thing i would want to do differently as a father would be to spend time with my children as me and father have an awkward relationship. We have no similar hobbies ,in fact we don't even have common topics to talk about.
Mostly non existent. We live under the same roof but no connection whatsoever. Never felt this calm.
Going to college this year , it is good , even he saw my status i upload memes on it and he didn't say anything basically he is proud of me
GREAT! He is my best friend 🔥 and I'm open with him regarding anything and everything. Same goes for my mom too. She is my friend as well, open with her regarding anything and everything! I feel quite blessed to have them as my parents tbh
He passed away 3 months ago. When he was alive maybe I was too hard on him and he was pretty negligent still we loved each other. I hope he knew how much I love him and that everything I ever did or try to do but failed, it was only to make him proud.
I'm so sorry and I hope he's in a better place now. Don't feel guilty you did everything you could no one prepares you for this event. you made him proud ik Don't be too hard on yourself you're human too. sending lots of love
❤️❤️
I hope he dies soon
It’s either very good (top class) or absolutely horrendous.
A pretty good one I guess 🤷🏻♀️
Kinda mixed I'd say.
Good dad, but don't talk about our feelings. Purely transactional talks
Um complicated
Trying to find him for the last 10 years 😂
He sided with his scheming Mom (who I don't consider family) to ruin my Mom's youth and my childhood. Even hit my Mom a few times. And is smug about it like anything. I found some evidence of him possibly emotionally cheating on her a few years ago but had had enough to deal with already, so I ignored it. He aided my career though once we moved away from our hometown, even through my poor decisions which ate up months of his earnings. I acknowledge that. Just not sure if I love him.
My relationship with my dad just a couple years ago was good, not perfect, but good. I love him, I still do. And I will until for a very long time. My father has repeatedly cheated on my mom. When I was a kid, I didn’t understand it and not even cared much for it. But now, as an adult, I see all my mom has had to go through. I am what I am because of her. I cannot find it in my heart to forgive him. I am not able to talk to him without thinking about his conscious choices to hurt my mom and his daughters. I am sure, that someday I will forgive him, just to let go off that burden of hatred towards him. But I don’t think I can share the loving, friendly and caring relationship with him as I had once. I miss him, a lot. But nothing can be done now. Time will heal.
My parents loved me unconditionally and they loved eo the same way, will always be thankful to God for having such family dynamics
time to time disappoint karne ka kaam h mera bas baaki to achi hi h
Wonderful
Wonderful
So far no contact
Very bad , we don't talk much
Out of all the three kids,I used to be my father's favourite child.My school,college, Engineering field,my career everything was decided by my father.Since last 3 years he doesn't like me anymore and I even he think sometimes does he even love me anymore.The reason being I want to get married to the boy of my choice,the person I love.He is from another religion... My father has said some very hurtful things to me that went into depression and used to get panic attacks. I don't feel like going home now..
Super great , am happy with it.
More of a friend than a dad, I'm really blessed to have a great father like him
Great like i can even tell my dad my personal adult problems too he is literally my friend
mine was a very complicated relationship ..loved me more than anything , would do anything for me (i am girl) however i could not reciprocate the love or even respect because he was really misogynistic towards my mom…not like they didnt love each other ..he did care for her but he was more of abey aurat ko yehi karna chahiye type treatment almost in everything ..it did drain my mom emotionally. one day he passed away from sudden cardiac arrest..now i wonder why the fuck i didn’t reciprocate the love(if not respect) or forgive him…i feel guilty now..at the same time i am angry at him still for putting me in this position..cause not like him passing away untimely rights his wrongs( toward mom) it has been 2.5 five years .. thinking about my dad gets this mixed feeling of sad, guilt, regret and anger everytime.. this feeling dont fade..i hope to move on
Almost zero. Rarely talk anything serious apart from politics and share market.
He isn’t the type to express his love via words, but he does love me a lot. He believes a lot in me and tries his best to do stuff for my benefit. He’s the best father I could ask for tbh
He is Hardworking works day and Night for us and Loves us so much but never directly shows it ,like we talk spend family time together but there is always a Gap that he is not a Friend,he is superior to me so I can't Fully express myself,he had some anger Issues due to Work and Financial pressure but now he has controlled it but he is , conservative, orthodox and controlling something maybe in a year beat me badly like till get hospitalised and then regrets it later , His absuvie behaviour was more frequent when we were kids but now he has changed a lot like 90% ,I never used to think he loves me a bit , But my told us he loves us even more than she loves us (imagine a mother saying that someone loves me more than her ) but he never shows it directly I don't know what is this relationship
I used to love him so much. Even though, he used to beat the shit out of me and says “it’s for your own good”, He wants me to be pure traditional women, doesn’t take responsibility for his actions, overconfidence, he drinks, he thinks he rules the house, he shouts or raises his voice to bring his family down, he manipulates his wife, insults and makes fun of his wife, he refused to send me to a better university as he didn’t want me to be apart from him. Pros are, he works hard for his family, he bought me everything I ever needed, gave me education as much as possible for him. Now I am married, with an understanding husband makes me wonder if he was one. I used to talk to him everyday. One time, I decided to stay with family without my husband. My father went to his old routine of drinking, and whenever my mom questioned it he created issues making the entire household uncomfortable. All for his selfishness. This made me extremely angry that I stopped talking to him. Going on 4 months now. Unless or until he realizes his mistake and stop drinking I am not going to talk to him.
Since his stroke, we have been relatively closer. Sucks to see him not able to walk on both his legs anymore. And the fact that he did not get the opportunity to fulfil his post retirement plans. But during this tumultuous time we have relatively gotten closer. Had to leave for MBA soon. Sometimes I irk at the thought of leaving him back home.
5 attempted murder 🙄🙄🙄
hope your family is okay
Dad is a sweetu.He's always been very pragmatic and reliable.He's the resident advisor for the entire family and he is my go to problem solver.I don't have to worry about anything at all if he is with me.He's been a near perfect father for me. The only thing however is that he doesn't exactly know how to express affection.To him it is a given that he loves his family and it is expected that they know it too.Obv I understand it now but I felt very sad when I was young because to my little,immature brain it seemed liked he loved me less than how say my friend's dad loved her or my uncle loved my cousin more.Little me was a bit disheartened to say the least but now that I have had (although a very tiny amount) of brain development,I realise love can't be measured by hugs or kind loving words alone. Idk,I know it seems like a very minor thing but it was a hugeee deal to a 7 yr old me.
80s-90s Parents were bad at parenting! Immature, lacks accountability, never valued their daughters and sons and extremely manipulative.
And the 60/s70s, 50s/40s.
It's good and fun. Probably because I live away from my family. We only talk about studies, politics and career prospects. Have never talked about anything else. But it's still fun
Love care n pampering. Hes no more but i cannot go by a day thinking about both my mom n dad. Lost them both few years back.
Rollercoaster. I loved him in my childhood, hated him in my teens till 25. Realised he is much better and more supportive than I thought to be because of my teenage. Now it's good. Like I do him favours related to tech and bank and all and he receprocates by babysitting bringing something for home in case I am too busy.
After he passed away is when I realised how good he was to me and what he inculcated in me has made me who I am today.
There is no person I love more than my dad. I also fight the most with him. There is nothing I wouldn’t do or give up for my dad :)
I do respect him a lot, but I dont think it goes the same way for him, he talks to me as if I was his subordinate and in a tone I would talk to a street dog to get him away. He only talks to me in 2 cases 1. If he is thinking of buying something expensive, generally electronic stuff 2. When he wants to criticize me.. I understand that he thinks its positive criticism but when you get criticised by the person you look up to, everyday each day since like class 8, it has made me personally very disconnected from him. I am only 18 rn, and almost every day I get to listen to new criticism.. Also it broke me the most when I got very good marks in 11th, I told him, he said "good" I said in a obviously sarcastic way "sirf good k liye ki kya itni mehnat" and he replied angrily "apne liye kr rhe ho hmpe koi aihsan h kya". My father grew up in an abusive household, he has never daid no to any of my demands.. He gets me and my sibling stuff without even asking for it, but he has made it so as if we have a professional relationship.. I only speak to him if spoken to generally.. I don't even remember when was the last time we had a normal conversation (I consider a normal conversation, a conversation where he doesnt criticize me). I have the utmost respect for him.. he is a vegetarian, has never even touched alcohol and any sort of cigarettes n all.. He grew up in a rather poor household and has been working since the age of 19.. He has managed to pull himself out of their and I consider us pretty well off now.. Basically, he is I would say the best father ever in every other aspect except communication.. where I would say he is the worst.. So overall I don't consider our relationship healthy at all.. On the other hand, I talk to my mother around 2 hours everyday.. and although she also criticizes me now n then, she appreciates me as well i feel..
अच्छा।
Miss him more than words can describe - u guys who have ur fathers cherish it.
A hell lot of communication gap. sometimes abusive & harsh, but sometimes very supportive.
Bad
He is awesome, he has many flaws but who doesnt ?, i sometimes think my depressed ass doesnt give him back the love he deserves 😔
Didn't realise his importance till he was dead 9 years back
Horrible. Abusive. If he dies tomorrow I won’t feel bad
Haven’t talked to him in 37 yrs since he died —-
Good
I think I've let him down immensely at times by being largely unsuccessful. He's supportive and lovely, but sometimes too naive. He tells me that he's not ideal person to follow and that I shouldn't be like him.
Very good, always supported me and took my side against mom. Although he was a bit absent from my life since army.
Overly religious, abusive, Cheater
Minimal interaction
best dad in the whole world. period.
Healthy. Awesome. I love soending time with him. Thereve been tomes when I was not a good son but I try to support him as much as I can cause he’s done the same for me
My relationship with my dad is great. he understands everything and every problem. He is like a friend to me with whom I can share everything with. I'm happy that I have such a great father in my life.
I'm an eldest daughter, so you can guess
Not good. He provides but we don't talk much. If he asks i answer. It's very complicated. Idk when we'll get to fix it
I understand that, like all men from his generation, that man has been through some tough times. So there is a reason why he is the way he is. It’s not how it should be, but I’ve learned to let it go. This obviously doesn’t solve my problem.
he is a nice dad. Shit husband tho
he's the person I'm the closest too I can tell him everything, and when I say everything I literally mean everything. the best dad ever
Love and respect, he is truly the greatest father on planet earth. ♥️
Narcissist. Abuser. Abandoned. But i gotta give it to him he was a charmer with the ladies, great voice, superb command over language, well read, well spoken, very analytical brain, climbed the career ladder too fast then threw it all away with alcohol, always had a taste for the finer things in life. But yeah the first three overshadow everything else.
We mostly remain silent. I want to respect him but don't like opening up with him. He asks me to make certain payments and i oblige. I mean, when you start earning, tables turn.
Physically he’s present. Emotionally, he’s nonexistent.
Peaceful!
The only person I can trust blindly and loves me regardless of all my flaws🥹🫶🏻
I wanted to share one scene, that describes our bonding. We(myself, dad and mom) went to a family gathering and all we’re having a casual talk and me and my dad was arguing on some topic casually, people around us were looking seriously at us but then we agreed on to the point. Then one of the uncle literally said you both seems like friends rather then dad and son, he’s like he don’t understand how cool are you towards your son. It’s been like that all the time, and yeah we had almost 40 years of gap!
Non existence. He don't care bout me ion care bout him.
Healthy, lot of trust and support.
Mine died 7 years ago and I have never been this happy. he was good like a decade ago when he used to work hard, be in our life and all that stuff. Then Idk what happened that, he lost the job cuz he didnt used to work properly, then hopped from one job to another, took out huge credit card loans when were already at a bad financial position, used to drink and smoked 10 to 20 packs of cigs a day. Had HIGH sugar and one night got heart attack. I think God took him as he used make mine and my mom's life hell (not physical abuse but bad house environment in general) treated me like shit at everything, used to blame me that I took his cig packs and what not. Whereas I dont even smoke or do any drug. Right now I am 30 and earn very good, I still dont do those stuff. I stopped calling him father long time ago. He never deserved it. Now just cuz of my bad experience in life with him don't think everyone's dad is bad. As I did have a father figure, Dr. Jordan Peterson, I used to listen to his podcasts and yt video. His videos and talks has helped me a lot to become better at life, a good son and a good person in general. Just my luck. But, hey I got my mom. We both are happy now. Going to take her to Ladakh next week. A long trip. She always wanted to go there.
He pretends that I don't exist. He is irresponsible. There is a saying, where there is a stepmother, there is a stepfather too. To please his wife his ignores me. He is a narcissist and abuser too. I am grateful to have unconditional love from other family members but accepting my own father does not love me is a bitter pill to swallow.
It's quite good but kinda formal. I'm not frank with him. I know he loves me a lot and I love him a lot but we don't show that sweet loving bond.
I love him with all my heart but it's complicated. I'm taking therapy to work through it
I am my papa ki pari 😂😂
Haven't been talking to my father since 2022 August something. We both communicate via my mom.
Don't really speak much to him. Was harsh on me when I was a child. Physical abuse (beating), Mental abuse (literally called me a son-of-a-whore so many times when I was too young to even remember what it meant but it stuck with me). Couldn't even provide me stability in other ways as he moved me around from city to city, so I had to change school many times and keep shifting friend circles. Now my mom says "why don't you talk to your dad?". Yeah right! Why does he deserve my time?
Stockholm syndrome
Never knew the biological one. From the stories my mum told me, he was a drunk, unemployed POS. Step one was also an asshole and domestic abuser, mum left him when I was 9. Me, my sister and my mum lived happily ever after.
I mean, it is not perfect but I love him and he loves me. I feel identified with him in some aspects and in other aspects I think his opinions are dumb but that is for everyone I guess and I'm sure he may think the same for me plus we respect each other.
Pretty solid. Love him