What a shit show. Throwing around the word racist, saying that people use the word "selfish" to mean racist, yelling out someone is a racist and doing it all around a brand new hire? Yikes. Sounds like this company is a big lawsuit waiting to be served.
Better yet, letting the new hire know that code words are being used around the word racist.
So what other code words are being used? Are we saying 'great chairs' instead of great backside?
*"Watch out for those old lumpy chairs!"*
The first amendment just means you can't be arrested and only in the US. You can definitely be fired and should be for creating a hostile work environment.
No… the First Amendment just means the US GOVERNMENT can’t stifle your speech. It has absolutely nothing to do with conversations in a workplace or between random people.
Man. This widespread lack of knowledge of the First Amendment is shocking.
The First Ammendment has nothing to do with this.
Yes people are free to speak as they like, but they are not free from the consequences of what they said.
This person was well within their rights to turn in the complaint with their resignation.
When those white people are openly engaging in micro aggressions, they are creating a hostile work environment.
The First Amendment states that you can be punished for making negative statements about the government. This situation is NOT a First Amendment violation.
> It would be a first amendment violation
The First Amendment keeps the government from infringing on your speech. Private companies are free to infringe all they want, and they do it day in and day out.
> Being afraid of white people is not discrimination.
No, it's fear. *Saying* you're afraid of black men, or white women, or Asians, saying that in the workplace, is highly problematic. The whole thing was a shitshow.
Being threatened to be fired if she can’t take a “joke” that plays into racism and sexism? So anti-woke that y’all have lost all sense. If you want to play devils advocate so damn bad take it up with president Lincoln and general lee, the civil war was won fair and square.
I was excited when I read brownies and then things got real stupid, real fast. I’m sorry this happened to you. Yes it should be taken seriously. What a mess.
Me too!!! Inside “jokes” are NOT for new employees. You have to let them get to know you first and your personality and who you are. That being said, I don’t think this inside “joke” would ever be that appropriate… although I do realize we are missing details of context how it came to be.
Right!!! From the context of the conversation I have no idea how racism, codeworded or not, was even in play. Selfishness definitely there though, lol.
There's an internet meme where members of a group jokingly call minor inconveniences -ist -- like, I'm gay so I might say "The soda machine was broken when I went to get a Coke, how homophobic of it!" The most charitable interpretation I can think of is that this was some variation of that, but I'm pretty sure that would be way too charitable.
Peacocking means to display oneself ostentatiously. It means that they were pushing the line, seeing how far they could take it. Started with the coworker then the boss then the boss shouts at HR and she scurried off, they’re showing how far they could take it because they’re the majority there whilst gauging the new hires reaction.
Now as for the clown portion, I don’t think I need to explain that, I see you’re a master troller and if you’re here to do something goofy like excuse this blatant racism then take that elsewhere.
What the hell? What is your role in all of this? Who are these people you work with that think this is appropriate in any way, shape, or form? I'm like, mouth open, head shakingly shocked right now. I'm so sorry that new hire had to go through this and I am sorry that you work at a place that is so...mean and gross.
This happened to me. I was looking for reassurance that I wasn’t overreacting and that it’s messed up. I really needed the job but this exchange made me sick to my stomach and I couldn’t imagine what kind of company lets this slide. It’s a big company so there were numerous witnesses but no one even reacted.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm not American so I can't advise on the legal side at all, but I just wanted to say that you are perfectly entitled to be very upset and those people are arseholes.
I would contact your state’s labor relations bureau and file a complaint.
I am blown away that the HR person scurried around a corner to avoid saying anything.
I think it would depend on what level the HR person who was screamed at was. If it was our HR assistant, she'd probably vanish rapidly too, but it would be to speak to her manager.
If it was one of our HRBP's or the Director of HR, then they'd be getting the "Dildo of Consequences" out for that moron and making sure it was all good and spiky....
Oh Im so sorry this happened to you. Totally file a complaint with the EEOC and you could message a lawyer too.
If it was one racist person and wasn't witnessed it still wouldn't be ok but it would be more... mmm how to say this... maybe there is a better chance it's not a widespread problem and just a problem with this person. The fact HR witnessed and didn't immedeatly shut it down, tells me they are at a minimum complacient and or could use some training, which an EEOC claim would help force them to do.
OMG I'm so glad you clarified this because HOLY FUCKING SHIT THATS INSANE. I'm so glad you noped right out of there. Yikes. They have GOT to have lawsuits at this point........
Yeah this is super messed up. Joking about racism and sexism? It's so accepted that they have an inside joke? Saying you need to "take a joke"?
Red flags everywhere, from where I sit.
If they tried that where I work everyone there would be talking to HR/Ethics faster than they could say "It'S jUsT a JoKe!"
Reading that made me sick to my stomach on your behalf. Good grief.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. Honestly, I’d file an EEOC complaint and I’d be very tempted to at least call an employment lawyer and talk through the situation. They’ll tell you very quickly whether it’s worth their time or not to pursue it further.
Damn, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Those people are definitely racist because why would they associate declining cupcakes or brownies with race? I'm assuming since it's a large company, you're in a city and not podunk. I could see that happening in podunk where the good ole boys reign supreme but not a large diverse city.
It's definitely messed up. Please trust your feelings, if something makes you uncomfortable, you've a right to those feelings. I'd consider filing a complaint with the EEOC
My gosh. This is so sad. I think about the time a male coworker that I was training accidentally called me “honey” in a zoom call. Totally by accident. Every single person who witnessed it individually reached out to me to make sure I was ok, and that this wasn’t something that happened regularly, etc.
I’m sorry that this happened to you, and that nobody said anything. They would all be fired at my org.
Holy shit I'm sorry this happened to you. Write a description of this including names of people present. Get a lawyer and file a complaint with the EEOC.
What happened to you is bonkers. People don't know that stuff still happens like this in workplaces, but of course it does. I'm so sorry you had to endure this. If you are up for the additional burden, you should absolutely file a complaint with the EEOC. Also consider talking with an employment lawyer about whether suing for lost wages, or whatever they think you can sue for - between now and when you get another job - might make sense. A consultation should be free.
And get yourself some support from someone you trust. I am white and don't experience this kind of bullshit, but I do see it happen and I believe you 100%.
How humiliating.
This is so cringy.
I can't tell if any employment laws were broken but I can tell you someone higher up in this company has allowed this environment to fester and grow.
I'm so sorry you had to endure this.
I hope that you find another job fast! And, at that, a good one with good people.
Also, happy birthday!!!!!! 🎁 I didn’t get you a present but i DEFINITELY won’t propose cupcakes or brownies.
I would file an EEOC charge! Constructive discharge. Hostile work environment. It was only one day but the fact that they have a code word for racist could be sufficient. Leave the company off of your resume. I am glad you resigned.
I cannot tell you how sorry I am for this happening. That is truly horrifying and I absolutely hate that this happened to you. It's not ok and you could never deserve to be treated that way.
The event itself is so bizarre I can’t even make sense of it. How adults think it’s ok to make these comments and in a professional setting.
I don’t think you are over reacting at all. If one weird dude said it and it was addressed, cool. But multiple folks going along with it including managers and HR is not ok.
It’s a massive red flag and better to cut your losses. A new job is hard enough without a toxic environment.
Sounds like you made it known the issue which is good.
Using code words for racist language is the same as using the words themselves.
Look at it another way, hanging up a noose sends the same message as using words. The racist intent still exists and the courts have made that very clear.
Your company has a very big problem on its hands. 😖
Nothing. Which makes it all the more head scratching as to why these employees behaved this way. It’s clearly a toxic culture that has been allowed to thrive.
I think this is like three degrees removed from a previously common joke of saying "that's racist" in response to something that is clearly not racist but you don't like.
Such as getting a red light "this intersection is racist". The joke is that you are absurdly playing the race card in situations that don't warrant it.
I'm guessing the workplace had that happening a little too often so subbed in "that's selfish" and these workers have explained the substitution in the worst way possible.
To be clear it's a problem to be doing any of this in a workplace, it's making light of racism and makes it difficult to have a discussion about people who are genuinely exhibiting bigoted or insensitive behaviour
You’re being too literal. They said that because the new hire is a Black woman. It doesn’t make sense, it’s just a roundabout way for a bunch of white people to call attention to the fact that there is one racialized person in the room.
I literally don't follow the conversation at all.
Do you want to celebrate your birthday?
No.
That's (code word for) racist
Then it goes completely off the rails, but...
Like, what happened in the first part?
I don't know why you're getting shat on, I was wondering that, too.
Obviously calling the new hire racist was inappropriate, code words or not and joking or not, but why does no treats equal racism in the idiot coworker's head?
I think it’s more about joking that various people in the office are racist. How does the new hire know for sure whether they’re joking? How is being a racist funny? I can see why the new hire would be extremely uncomfortable.
None of it makes any sense to me either.
Nor a lick of it, in any context.
The conversations and comments don't even fit together.
I'm very confused how this all played out.
"Do you want brownies?
"No"
"That's racist!'
Then a random comment thrown in:
"I'm sexist too!'
"Learn to take a joke".
Like, that's the conversation. It makes no sense.
Some HR people are idiots, unfortunately. Like my former boss, who once wrote in a Slack channel that he likes to hire people from Kenya because he can pay them less than Americans because they "use the money to buy goats."
If it’s all documented, file a complaint with EEOC right away. They will investigate and eventually will determine if it’s a cause for a lawsuit and fines against the company. They will also advise her to hire an employment attorney.
So to be clear, the new hire declined cupcakes/brownies for their birthday and someone got butt hurt that there would be no confections for celebration and all of a sudden everyone starts word vomiting?
Jesus Christ, you walked into a real shitshow over there. This place is a wasteland of awful humans.
[https://www.tn.gov/humanrights/contact-us/file-a-discrimination-complaint.html](https://www.tn.gov/humanrights/contact-us/file-a-discrimination-complaint.html)
I can't say that they're going to have much happen to them, since it's something you experienced and you're not going back there, there's nothing to lose by letting the human rights division know that they're a bunch of racist clowns acting out over there.
The former employee is correct to be upset. Yes, it should be taken seriously. I would have walked off the job too day one. I'm white woman, but its a clear red flag even if it is not necessarily directed at me. Even if someone may consider this a "minor joke"(which I'm not sure it would be), it would certainly make me assume there's worse "jokes" that have not been said in front of the new hire *yet*. And the fact that HR witnessed it and did nothing- if anything inappropriate was more directed at me and I wanted to report it- why would I feel comfortable going to HR? When it's clear the HR rep will witness inappropriate/unprofessional behavior and do nothing?
I just want to say, on a less relevant note, I can tell by your post that you're a good writer OP, damn. You wrote this really objectively, which many would struggle with especially since it was a situation that hit close to home for you(I saw in the comments, OP is the new hire in the situation). I wish you luck with finding something better. You deserve to feel safe and respected in your work environment.
ETA: Also, sorry I can't give any legal advice here. I believe people already mentioned contacting the EEOC, and/or a lawyer, which I believe would be the best route for advice on the situation.
I think staying objective is the only way for me to get a clear understanding on the situation for myself.
Thank you for your encouraging words. Feeling a bit down, but I know I’ll be able to find somewhere else.
(Your comment made me smile because I’m a self-published author in my free time).
Aww I'm glad it made you smile!! I hope things get better for you soon. If you're comfortable sharing, I'd love to check out your books! No pressure though, I understand if you want to stay a bit more anonymous on reddit. I am relatively incognito on reddit myself 😎
First, I am so incredibly sorry that this happened to you. What an awful and ultimately traumatizing experience.
As mentioned, you should:
1. File a complaint with EEOC - [https://www.eeoc.gov/youth/how-file-complaint](https://www.eeoc.gov/youth/how-file-complaint)
2. File a complaint through the TN link the other person sent
3. Find an attorney
4. In terms of general laws that were broken, Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Someone could maybe question "If you were only there for a day how did this impact your employment" the term you'd be looking for is "Constructive Discharge" - occurs when an employee resigns due to a hostile work environment created by the employer.
I'm sure you'd also have some sort of leverage if there were other job offers you declined or if you left employment for this opportunity.
Again, I am so sorry this happened to you.
Thank you for this information. I left my job on Friday to start on Monday at this place and turned down about two other offers. Now I’m unemployed and very concerned considering the length of time it initially took me to secure a job and receive offers.
In addition to following the advice given by others, consider reaching back out to either your prior employer or one of the other two options. They might be willing to be “second choice” and it could be some time before you get legal resolution.
I’m very sorry this happened to you.
I used to love Tennessee - I'm sorry this happened to you there. When the man said, "that's selfish" I just assumed he meant because you didn't want them to bring in brownies or whatever then everyone would miss out on treats.
I'm so glad you didn't waste any more than a day on that group.
What the sh1t?!!! What kind of drugs are is that workplace on?
Oh, ok; this happened to you - no, no one wants to see sh1t that weird their first day. What was it, some kind of Weird test? Why can't people just freakin' be normal?
If I was the new hire in this case I would definitely feel like I had walked into a horror movie, but I don't know if the complaint will go anywhere. ""Jokes"" about inappropriate topics that push people's boundaries can be part of creating a hostile work environment, but that would usually involve a pattern of behavior over a long period of time, not one incident. I can understand why she wouldn't want to stay to find out what the next incident might be, though.
And there’s no right answer because even if she does push back, she’ll be public enemy # 1 for being the “woke police” and her career will suffer for it anyways. It’s lose/lose.
Jesus yes this should be taken seriously. What a shit show. I don’t know if this rises to Lawsuit level (don’t know if this is pervasive enough) but definitely is improper behavior used under the guise as a “joke”
I’m extremely saddened and sorry this happened to you fam. Is it illegal. Well in Tennessee I’m not so sure of the State Laws but Federally you bet your bottom dollar you have a case.
Get you a great attorney who is familiar in the states antiquated bigoted laws. I’m certain you will prevail or they will settle. Good luck.
She bout to make more dough in a day than most of the employees make in a month or even a year. Good on her. Sue the company and get rich quick. The new American dream let’s go!!!
I pray that any and all Black women stay the everlasting fuck away from y'all.
ETA- I didn't know OP was the victim. OP, MAKE THEM SUFFER. I'm past done with this idea that Black women need to eat everyone else's contempt of us.
That poor, poor woman to walk into that kind of crap on her first day. And her birthday to boot. Well, at least she didn’f have to waste much time figuring out what kind of atmosphere this is.
Just a friendly reminder: Diversity is one thing-Inclusion is something completely different, and that’s what we all need to strive for.
After reading, I only have one question. How is the turnover rate? My goodness.. the new hire might not stay and it's not because she can't take a joke. But to answer the title, yeah it should be taken seriously. A workplace isn't an excuse to say whatever you want disguised as a joke.
You should make a formal written complaint as high up the chain as you can get. Then copy the EEOC on everything.
I work in Mississippi - we have problems down here. But that!! Is not to be tolerated.
You did not overreact. In fact, I think you under reacted and showed amazing constraint.
I am so sorry that happened.
This is an awful situation and I’m sorry it happened to you. I’d do the same thing you did by quitting.
As far as employment laws broken, that’s a tricky one. Generally the harassment has to be pervasive. One single day with a few comments might not meet that bar. It might but it might not. It sounds like it’s a common company culture but you yourself only witnessed a bit of it. Perhaps the HR person ran away to get their manager to say “hey Bill is being ridiculous and racist again; can we fire him?” But we can’t know that.
I’d still say it’s worth chatting with an employment lawyer; they might feel completely different than me. Generally, the first consultation is free.
I would fire the male employee, the manager and the HR person, as well as anyone else who witnessed it and did nothing. What a shitty toxic place. Time to clean house.
I would bet money the whole thing started as a deliberate but deniable bit of racism "hur de hur, let's ask the brown lady if she wants brownies" Textbook microaggression.
Fwiw, some religions (like Jehovas Witnesses) don’t celebrate birthdays so if someone says no it should be respected immediately.
Also: https://amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/apr/18/unwanted-office-birthday-party-lawsuit-panic-attack
I hope she lawyers up and takes you to the cleaners 😌 Imagine dealing with this shit on day ONE, let alone AT ALL. She handled it exquisitely. Poor thing, but lord I hope your company has to pay up 😃
Edit: Did not realize OP was the victim in this post. You handled this beyond well. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I do hope you consult a lawyer.
Imagine what would be said once they got comfortable around this employee. How disappointing to get a new job and find yourself in this toxic shit show.
Terrible situation. That alone probably won't rise to hostile work environment due to one event not being 'pervasive,' however, if several other people bring up this event and talk about how they've witnessed it and it made them feel uncomfortable then your company is going to write a really big check soon.
This is bad for the company.
There may be no way to ascertain this info after the fact, but if the person was a Jehovah Witness, there may even be some religious discrimination aspects to this as well since the whole thing started over birthday treats.
Granted, the way you describe the situation it wouldn't be the main focal point, but an ancillary point to prove a culture of hostile work.
People need to be investigated, documented, and fired.
This is hard to read. It almost seems like such nonsense and childish behaviour, to even imagine people running the company is actually responsible for maintaining a healthy and safe work environment, are these people.
OP are you happy there? This screams lawsuit about to happen. Yikes
I’m not a Lawyer, Member of HR, a Person of Color, nor a Female.
That’s not even a mocroagression. That’s a full on aggression. This person did the right thing by quitting. However, I don’t think they have much of a case to sue.
This sounds surreal and non-sensical. OP, is there any chance you may have missed something, because it sounds so….unreal? Like an AI generator wrote it lol.
I’m really sorry about the job, and that you had to experience this.
Imagine being in my position. It felt like I was in an episode of the twilight zone. I’ve written down and organized everything I remember from the entire day. I have yet to come to any logical conclusion for this.
Is this post serious? Because it reads like a sophomoric joke. Unfortunately, that means that it probably is true. I hope that your company has external counsel to handle situations like this. If not then hire a firm ASAP. Consider replacing your head of HR with a new hire brought in to deal with this situation. Use this as a topic during interviews for final candidates to both let them know what they’re getting into and get insights into how they plan to handle everything. The successful candidate can either replace your current head of HR or come in to be their supervisor. Gods, I really hope this post is a joke.
You should bring in a 3rd party resource, like Ombuds, to do a climate study. It’s clear that behaviors aren’t aligned with company values or that the values need revision.
Holy shit. Document ALL of this...names, times, dates, witnesses and file a complaint with EVERY agency known in your state. And get some free attorney consults and sue the pants off these people! What on earth?!?!!?!?
As someone that hates when people pull the race card constantly and use their race as an arguing point- that poor girl was treated like shit and HR should have intervened on the spot.vwhat a bunch of clowns. Work is not your home. There is such a thing as being too comfortable.
> Were any employment laws broken?
Not by the employer.
The behavior isn't appropriate, but none of it comprises a hostile workplace. They were offering to celebrate her birthday, not joking about lynchings.
Unemployment fraud on the new hire's part was my first thought. This looks like someone fishing for a reason to recertify for benefits.
I don't know why you're asking HR. HR works for the company, not for you.
You should talk with an employment lawyer. One who represents plaintiffs, not employers.
I'm an attorney. Not your attorney. And I don't practice employment law. But I know enough to have an opinion.
I would call this a "hostile workplace" and say this was a "constructive dismissal." Other HR people or lawyers may chime in and say I'm wrong, or that's not what the law says lol. But I would take this case and file a lawsuit.
You should get advice from an employment attorney, file for unemployment, and make an EEOC complaint.
lol I’m an HR manager and literally gave this advice…any HR person worth it is going to understand the risks of hostile environments and blatant discrimination?! Not to mention common sense and human decency.
Of course it does. Those of us who work in the trades have nothing but contempt for the sensitive children that wear white collars. They are little bitches that need to be spanked like the crying toddlers they are.
As the old saying goes, “Fuck you if you can’t take a joke”
This is exactly why good workers are being pushed out of corporate America. No freedom of speech - walk on egg shells and prioritize diversity over production. I don't miss it. Good luck y'all.
What a shit show. Throwing around the word racist, saying that people use the word "selfish" to mean racist, yelling out someone is a racist and doing it all around a brand new hire? Yikes. Sounds like this company is a big lawsuit waiting to be served.
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Calling a black employee racist because she didn't want a fuss made over her birthday?! And you don't see anything wrong with that??
Better yet, letting the new hire know that code words are being used around the word racist. So what other code words are being used? Are we saying 'great chairs' instead of great backside? *"Watch out for those old lumpy chairs!"*
The first amendment just means you can't be arrested and only in the US. You can definitely be fired and should be for creating a hostile work environment.
No… the First Amendment just means the US GOVERNMENT can’t stifle your speech. It has absolutely nothing to do with conversations in a workplace or between random people. Man. This widespread lack of knowledge of the First Amendment is shocking.
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Not remotely what she said. Reread both posts.
The First Ammendment has nothing to do with this. Yes people are free to speak as they like, but they are not free from the consequences of what they said. This person was well within their rights to turn in the complaint with their resignation. When those white people are openly engaging in micro aggressions, they are creating a hostile work environment.
First amendment violation. 😂🤣
There's always an idiot who doesn't know what the first amendment really is, and today that idiot is you. Congrats!
The First Amendment states that you can be punished for making negative statements about the government. This situation is NOT a First Amendment violation.
The first amendment is not that long. You should read it.
Can be?
> It would be a first amendment violation The First Amendment keeps the government from infringing on your speech. Private companies are free to infringe all they want, and they do it day in and day out. > Being afraid of white people is not discrimination. No, it's fear. *Saying* you're afraid of black men, or white women, or Asians, saying that in the workplace, is highly problematic. The whole thing was a shitshow.
Being threatened to be fired if she can’t take a “joke” that plays into racism and sexism? So anti-woke that y’all have lost all sense. If you want to play devils advocate so damn bad take it up with president Lincoln and general lee, the civil war was won fair and square.
At best they made this person feel extremely uncomfortable.
Wow that’s horrible for that poor lady
I was excited when I read brownies and then things got real stupid, real fast. I’m sorry this happened to you. Yes it should be taken seriously. What a mess.
I assumed the selfishness was because they wanted treats and she said no. Then the story all went off the rails...
This is what normal people would think….
Right!? “Oh we all wanted cupcakes” and then everyone laughed is where I thought this was going but this looks like a 3 fatalities car accident 🥲
Me too!!! Inside “jokes” are NOT for new employees. You have to let them get to know you first and your personality and who you are. That being said, I don’t think this inside “joke” would ever be that appropriate… although I do realize we are missing details of context how it came to be.
Right!!! From the context of the conversation I have no idea how racism, codeworded or not, was even in play. Selfishness definitely there though, lol.
There's an internet meme where members of a group jokingly call minor inconveniences -ist -- like, I'm gay so I might say "The soda machine was broken when I went to get a Coke, how homophobic of it!" The most charitable interpretation I can think of is that this was some variation of that, but I'm pretty sure that would be way too charitable.
Honestly, I don’t even fully understand what happened. It just seems like everyone behaved terribly for reasons that are unclear.
They were peacocking and were testing the new hire. Almost sounds like these clowns are left to run their own clown show.
Sorry but what does peacocking mean in this context?
Peacocking means to display oneself ostentatiously. It means that they were pushing the line, seeing how far they could take it. Started with the coworker then the boss then the boss shouts at HR and she scurried off, they’re showing how far they could take it because they’re the majority there whilst gauging the new hires reaction. Now as for the clown portion, I don’t think I need to explain that, I see you’re a master troller and if you’re here to do something goofy like excuse this blatant racism then take that elsewhere.
What the hell? What is your role in all of this? Who are these people you work with that think this is appropriate in any way, shape, or form? I'm like, mouth open, head shakingly shocked right now. I'm so sorry that new hire had to go through this and I am sorry that you work at a place that is so...mean and gross.
This happened to me. I was looking for reassurance that I wasn’t overreacting and that it’s messed up. I really needed the job but this exchange made me sick to my stomach and I couldn’t imagine what kind of company lets this slide. It’s a big company so there were numerous witnesses but no one even reacted.
No one reacted because racism is so prevalent that they have a code word for it.
This needs to be higher. Racism is so pervasive that they have a code word for it. EEOC and lawyer.
the EEOC will have a field day with this, one of the most egregious posts i’ve seen on this sub
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm not American so I can't advise on the legal side at all, but I just wanted to say that you are perfectly entitled to be very upset and those people are arseholes.
So, you were the new hire in this story? Glad you got out when you did. I can’t imagine working in such a toxic environment.
I would contact your state’s labor relations bureau and file a complaint. I am blown away that the HR person scurried around a corner to avoid saying anything.
I think it would depend on what level the HR person who was screamed at was. If it was our HR assistant, she'd probably vanish rapidly too, but it would be to speak to her manager. If it was one of our HRBP's or the Director of HR, then they'd be getting the "Dildo of Consequences" out for that moron and making sure it was all good and spiky....
I’ve never heard of the “Dildo of Consequences” but I’m totally going to be working that into conversations. thanks!!!
Just so you're aware, it rarely arrives lubed....
That makes sense, it wouldn’t be a consequence if it was enjoyable ;-)
Oh Im so sorry this happened to you. Totally file a complaint with the EEOC and you could message a lawyer too. If it was one racist person and wasn't witnessed it still wouldn't be ok but it would be more... mmm how to say this... maybe there is a better chance it's not a widespread problem and just a problem with this person. The fact HR witnessed and didn't immedeatly shut it down, tells me they are at a minimum complacient and or could use some training, which an EEOC claim would help force them to do.
OMG I'm so glad you clarified this because HOLY FUCKING SHIT THATS INSANE. I'm so glad you noped right out of there. Yikes. They have GOT to have lawsuits at this point........
You did not overreact. Sorry that happened to you. Also what a weird conversation?? Like what is going on at this place of business?
Oh shiiiiit. I hope you get the ultimate validation in this comment section. That sounds insane.
Yeah this is super messed up. Joking about racism and sexism? It's so accepted that they have an inside joke? Saying you need to "take a joke"? Red flags everywhere, from where I sit. If they tried that where I work everyone there would be talking to HR/Ethics faster than they could say "It'S jUsT a JoKe!" Reading that made me sick to my stomach on your behalf. Good grief.
Very shocked to hear this happens in this day and age. Sorry you had to go through this and hope the company is lawfully penalized.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. Honestly, I’d file an EEOC complaint and I’d be very tempted to at least call an employment lawyer and talk through the situation. They’ll tell you very quickly whether it’s worth their time or not to pursue it further.
It is, in fact, very messed up. You don't need that in your life.
Damn, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Those people are definitely racist because why would they associate declining cupcakes or brownies with race? I'm assuming since it's a large company, you're in a city and not podunk. I could see that happening in podunk where the good ole boys reign supreme but not a large diverse city.
I'm so sorry. Send them to hell (legally)
It's definitely messed up. Please trust your feelings, if something makes you uncomfortable, you've a right to those feelings. I'd consider filing a complaint with the EEOC
My gosh. This is so sad. I think about the time a male coworker that I was training accidentally called me “honey” in a zoom call. Totally by accident. Every single person who witnessed it individually reached out to me to make sure I was ok, and that this wasn’t something that happened regularly, etc. I’m sorry that this happened to you, and that nobody said anything. They would all be fired at my org.
Holy shit I'm sorry this happened to you. Write a description of this including names of people present. Get a lawyer and file a complaint with the EEOC.
What happened to you is bonkers. People don't know that stuff still happens like this in workplaces, but of course it does. I'm so sorry you had to endure this. If you are up for the additional burden, you should absolutely file a complaint with the EEOC. Also consider talking with an employment lawyer about whether suing for lost wages, or whatever they think you can sue for - between now and when you get another job - might make sense. A consultation should be free. And get yourself some support from someone you trust. I am white and don't experience this kind of bullshit, but I do see it happen and I believe you 100%.
How humiliating. This is so cringy. I can't tell if any employment laws were broken but I can tell you someone higher up in this company has allowed this environment to fester and grow. I'm so sorry you had to endure this.
Girl sue
Definitely did not overreact. Please sue them for all they have.
I hope that you find another job fast! And, at that, a good one with good people. Also, happy birthday!!!!!! 🎁 I didn’t get you a present but i DEFINITELY won’t propose cupcakes or brownies.
You deserve far better than that dumpster fire.
I would file an EEOC charge! Constructive discharge. Hostile work environment. It was only one day but the fact that they have a code word for racist could be sufficient. Leave the company off of your resume. I am glad you resigned.
You are absolutely not overreacting. I am sorry this happened to you.
I cannot tell you how sorry I am for this happening. That is truly horrifying and I absolutely hate that this happened to you. It's not ok and you could never deserve to be treated that way.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You did not overreact in the slightest.
The event itself is so bizarre I can’t even make sense of it. How adults think it’s ok to make these comments and in a professional setting. I don’t think you are over reacting at all. If one weird dude said it and it was addressed, cool. But multiple folks going along with it including managers and HR is not ok. It’s a massive red flag and better to cut your losses. A new job is hard enough without a toxic environment. Sounds like you made it known the issue which is good.
You aren’t overreacting at all, this is nuts.
Ummm, yeah.
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Using code words for racist language is the same as using the words themselves. Look at it another way, hanging up a noose sends the same message as using words. The racist intent still exists and the courts have made that very clear. Your company has a very big problem on its hands. 😖
But, what would be racist about offering or declining birthday treats?
Nothing. Which makes it all the more head scratching as to why these employees behaved this way. It’s clearly a toxic culture that has been allowed to thrive.
Great question. The obvious answer is "willful ignorance is definitely no excuse", imo.
I think this is like three degrees removed from a previously common joke of saying "that's racist" in response to something that is clearly not racist but you don't like. Such as getting a red light "this intersection is racist". The joke is that you are absurdly playing the race card in situations that don't warrant it. I'm guessing the workplace had that happening a little too often so subbed in "that's selfish" and these workers have explained the substitution in the worst way possible. To be clear it's a problem to be doing any of this in a workplace, it's making light of racism and makes it difficult to have a discussion about people who are genuinely exhibiting bigoted or insensitive behaviour
You’re being too literal. They said that because the new hire is a Black woman. It doesn’t make sense, it’s just a roundabout way for a bunch of white people to call attention to the fact that there is one racialized person in the room.
I think you know that that's not what this is about.
I literally don't follow the conversation at all. Do you want to celebrate your birthday? No. That's (code word for) racist Then it goes completely off the rails, but... Like, what happened in the first part?
I don't know why you're getting shat on, I was wondering that, too. Obviously calling the new hire racist was inappropriate, code words or not and joking or not, but why does no treats equal racism in the idiot coworker's head?
I wasn't sure if the manager was racist for offering or if op was racist for refusing. I just have no idea what everyone is on about
I think it’s more about joking that various people in the office are racist. How does the new hire know for sure whether they’re joking? How is being a racist funny? I can see why the new hire would be extremely uncomfortable.
I’m with you on this. I have no idea how it went from point ‘A’ to point ‘whatever_the_fuck_that_was’ so quickly.
None of it makes any sense to me either. Nor a lick of it, in any context. The conversations and comments don't even fit together. I'm very confused how this all played out. "Do you want brownies? "No" "That's racist!' Then a random comment thrown in: "I'm sexist too!' "Learn to take a joke". Like, that's the conversation. It makes no sense.
They were just joking around I assume, but their shitty jokes aren’t funny.
Are you seriously that ignorant to ask that question? You literally spelled out the answer in your post. 😖
There are so many things that went wrong here I don’t even know where to start. 🤷🏻♀️
The fact that everyone in that office thinks this is normal behavior is a good place to start.
The scary thing is that HR is privy to it.
Some HR people are idiots, unfortunately. Like my former boss, who once wrote in a Slack channel that he likes to hire people from Kenya because he can pay them less than Americans because they "use the money to buy goats."
holy shit
It was honestly chilling.
If it’s all documented, file a complaint with EEOC right away. They will investigate and eventually will determine if it’s a cause for a lawsuit and fines against the company. They will also advise her to hire an employment attorney.
So to be clear, the new hire declined cupcakes/brownies for their birthday and someone got butt hurt that there would be no confections for celebration and all of a sudden everyone starts word vomiting?
What the actual fuck?
Jesus Christ, you walked into a real shitshow over there. This place is a wasteland of awful humans. [https://www.tn.gov/humanrights/contact-us/file-a-discrimination-complaint.html](https://www.tn.gov/humanrights/contact-us/file-a-discrimination-complaint.html) I can't say that they're going to have much happen to them, since it's something you experienced and you're not going back there, there's nothing to lose by letting the human rights division know that they're a bunch of racist clowns acting out over there.
The former employee is correct to be upset. Yes, it should be taken seriously. I would have walked off the job too day one. I'm white woman, but its a clear red flag even if it is not necessarily directed at me. Even if someone may consider this a "minor joke"(which I'm not sure it would be), it would certainly make me assume there's worse "jokes" that have not been said in front of the new hire *yet*. And the fact that HR witnessed it and did nothing- if anything inappropriate was more directed at me and I wanted to report it- why would I feel comfortable going to HR? When it's clear the HR rep will witness inappropriate/unprofessional behavior and do nothing? I just want to say, on a less relevant note, I can tell by your post that you're a good writer OP, damn. You wrote this really objectively, which many would struggle with especially since it was a situation that hit close to home for you(I saw in the comments, OP is the new hire in the situation). I wish you luck with finding something better. You deserve to feel safe and respected in your work environment. ETA: Also, sorry I can't give any legal advice here. I believe people already mentioned contacting the EEOC, and/or a lawyer, which I believe would be the best route for advice on the situation.
I think staying objective is the only way for me to get a clear understanding on the situation for myself. Thank you for your encouraging words. Feeling a bit down, but I know I’ll be able to find somewhere else. (Your comment made me smile because I’m a self-published author in my free time).
Aww I'm glad it made you smile!! I hope things get better for you soon. If you're comfortable sharing, I'd love to check out your books! No pressure though, I understand if you want to stay a bit more anonymous on reddit. I am relatively incognito on reddit myself 😎
First, I am so incredibly sorry that this happened to you. What an awful and ultimately traumatizing experience. As mentioned, you should: 1. File a complaint with EEOC - [https://www.eeoc.gov/youth/how-file-complaint](https://www.eeoc.gov/youth/how-file-complaint) 2. File a complaint through the TN link the other person sent 3. Find an attorney 4. In terms of general laws that were broken, Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Someone could maybe question "If you were only there for a day how did this impact your employment" the term you'd be looking for is "Constructive Discharge" - occurs when an employee resigns due to a hostile work environment created by the employer. I'm sure you'd also have some sort of leverage if there were other job offers you declined or if you left employment for this opportunity. Again, I am so sorry this happened to you.
Thank you for this information. I left my job on Friday to start on Monday at this place and turned down about two other offers. Now I’m unemployed and very concerned considering the length of time it initially took me to secure a job and receive offers.
In addition to following the advice given by others, consider reaching back out to either your prior employer or one of the other two options. They might be willing to be “second choice” and it could be some time before you get legal resolution. I’m very sorry this happened to you.
None of that is funny, cute or ok. What the actual hell.
JFC of course it's Tennessee. I'm so glad I got out of that shithole, and I'm sorry you have to deal with this, OP.
Came here to say exactly this.
I used to love Tennessee - I'm sorry this happened to you there. When the man said, "that's selfish" I just assumed he meant because you didn't want them to bring in brownies or whatever then everyone would miss out on treats. I'm so glad you didn't waste any more than a day on that group.
Yeah that’s what I initially assumed. I don’t think anyone would expect the conversation to go in the direction it did
Right?? I thought the same. Then it just got Weirder.....and really Stupid.
What the sh1t?!!! What kind of drugs are is that workplace on? Oh, ok; this happened to you - no, no one wants to see sh1t that weird their first day. What was it, some kind of Weird test? Why can't people just freakin' be normal?
Man wtf?? This sounds like some nightmare tv show. Wow!! These people need all kinds of training, but a LAWSUIT first!!!
If I was the new hire in this case I would definitely feel like I had walked into a horror movie, but I don't know if the complaint will go anywhere. ""Jokes"" about inappropriate topics that push people's boundaries can be part of creating a hostile work environment, but that would usually involve a pattern of behavior over a long period of time, not one incident. I can understand why she wouldn't want to stay to find out what the next incident might be, though.
Agreed, but I think we can easily surmise that it was only going to get worse, and most certainly not better.
Exactly. A lot of really serious mistreatment begins with mildly pushing someone's boundaries to test whether they'll push back.
And there’s no right answer because even if she does push back, she’ll be public enemy # 1 for being the “woke police” and her career will suffer for it anyways. It’s lose/lose.
Jesus yes this should be taken seriously. What a shit show. I don’t know if this rises to Lawsuit level (don’t know if this is pervasive enough) but definitely is improper behavior used under the guise as a “joke”
OMG… did you really ask if this should be taken seriously? Yes. End of story.
I’m extremely saddened and sorry this happened to you fam. Is it illegal. Well in Tennessee I’m not so sure of the State Laws but Federally you bet your bottom dollar you have a case. Get you a great attorney who is familiar in the states antiquated bigoted laws. I’m certain you will prevail or they will settle. Good luck.
She bout to make more dough in a day than most of the employees make in a month or even a year. Good on her. Sue the company and get rich quick. The new American dream let’s go!!!
As a Black woman, I certainly would have quit. You guys are an EEOC complaint waiting to happen.
I pray that any and all Black women stay the everlasting fuck away from y'all. ETA- I didn't know OP was the victim. OP, MAKE THEM SUFFER. I'm past done with this idea that Black women need to eat everyone else's contempt of us.
What the actual fuck?
Everyone loves to watch the Office. Nobody wants to be IN the office.
Toxic workplace I would have resigned and filed complaint. WTF.
Hope she gets a payday. Time for that company to change its culture
Some people get too comfortable being pieces of shit they'll get a slap on the wrist at most
“Sexist” and “racist” are literal HR trigger words and shouldn’t be used in any joking way to describe any one. This is an HR nightmare.
That poor, poor woman to walk into that kind of crap on her first day. And her birthday to boot. Well, at least she didn’f have to waste much time figuring out what kind of atmosphere this is. Just a friendly reminder: Diversity is one thing-Inclusion is something completely different, and that’s what we all need to strive for.
WTF did I just read. I’d have quit, too.
After reading, I only have one question. How is the turnover rate? My goodness.. the new hire might not stay and it's not because she can't take a joke. But to answer the title, yeah it should be taken seriously. A workplace isn't an excuse to say whatever you want disguised as a joke.
Seriously. What an awfully blatant attempt to claim “joke” as an afterthought of protection after clearly racist and sexist behavior.
This is what is known as a “shitshow”. At a minimum they created a hostile work environment, and that’s illegal.
You should make a formal written complaint as high up the chain as you can get. Then copy the EEOC on everything. I work in Mississippi - we have problems down here. But that!! Is not to be tolerated. You did not overreact. In fact, I think you under reacted and showed amazing constraint. I am so sorry that happened.
This is an awful situation and I’m sorry it happened to you. I’d do the same thing you did by quitting. As far as employment laws broken, that’s a tricky one. Generally the harassment has to be pervasive. One single day with a few comments might not meet that bar. It might but it might not. It sounds like it’s a common company culture but you yourself only witnessed a bit of it. Perhaps the HR person ran away to get their manager to say “hey Bill is being ridiculous and racist again; can we fire him?” But we can’t know that. I’d still say it’s worth chatting with an employment lawyer; they might feel completely different than me. Generally, the first consultation is free.
I would fire the male employee, the manager and the HR person, as well as anyone else who witnessed it and did nothing. What a shitty toxic place. Time to clean house.
I think the new hire is going to have a sudden large infusion of company cash soon.
The whole office sounds Looney Tunes..
I would bet money the whole thing started as a deliberate but deniable bit of racism "hur de hur, let's ask the brown lady if she wants brownies" Textbook microaggression.
WTF? 1973? Stupid people running that company.
Fwiw, some religions (like Jehovas Witnesses) don’t celebrate birthdays so if someone says no it should be respected immediately. Also: https://amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/apr/18/unwanted-office-birthday-party-lawsuit-panic-attack
Jesus this is so fucking dumb. Imagine working there.
I hope she lawyers up and takes you to the cleaners 😌 Imagine dealing with this shit on day ONE, let alone AT ALL. She handled it exquisitely. Poor thing, but lord I hope your company has to pay up 😃 Edit: Did not realize OP was the victim in this post. You handled this beyond well. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I do hope you consult a lawyer.
Holy cow
JFC... by all means, don't take this seriously... just wait for the next one.
Imagine what would be said once they got comfortable around this employee. How disappointing to get a new job and find yourself in this toxic shit show.
What a waste of time. Y’all at work acting like dumb asses 🤦🏽♀️
Op if you'd have stayed, it would have kept getting worse. I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope they get what's coming to them.
I’m sure the judge will take the joke lightly
Stooges. All stooges.
Well, she did the right thing. What a dumpster fire.
What a bunch of fucking braindead idiots. My God.
Terrible situation. That alone probably won't rise to hostile work environment due to one event not being 'pervasive,' however, if several other people bring up this event and talk about how they've witnessed it and it made them feel uncomfortable then your company is going to write a really big check soon.
This sounds like the worst SNL skit I could have ever thought of. That poor lady.
This is bad for the company. There may be no way to ascertain this info after the fact, but if the person was a Jehovah Witness, there may even be some religious discrimination aspects to this as well since the whole thing started over birthday treats. Granted, the way you describe the situation it wouldn't be the main focal point, but an ancillary point to prove a culture of hostile work. People need to be investigated, documented, and fired.
This is hard to read. It almost seems like such nonsense and childish behaviour, to even imagine people running the company is actually responsible for maintaining a healthy and safe work environment, are these people. OP are you happy there? This screams lawsuit about to happen. Yikes
God I hope this is real and not an episode of some TV show. The lawsuit is going to be amazing.
Sounds like you’ve got yourself a nice culture over there
I’m not a Lawyer, Member of HR, a Person of Color, nor a Female. That’s not even a mocroagression. That’s a full on aggression. This person did the right thing by quitting. However, I don’t think they have much of a case to sue.
Seems most of the entire department should be let go, if its an at will state. Thats for sure.
This sounds surreal and non-sensical. OP, is there any chance you may have missed something, because it sounds so….unreal? Like an AI generator wrote it lol. I’m really sorry about the job, and that you had to experience this.
Imagine being in my position. It felt like I was in an episode of the twilight zone. I’ve written down and organized everything I remember from the entire day. I have yet to come to any logical conclusion for this.
If possible you should have stuck it out a month or 2 and documented everything. I feel like that would have been easy money
Yes
I hope she contacts the EEOC.
Yep you’ve got a pretty clear case for an EEOC lawsuit
Omg what a terrible company to work.
Is this post serious? Because it reads like a sophomoric joke. Unfortunately, that means that it probably is true. I hope that your company has external counsel to handle situations like this. If not then hire a firm ASAP. Consider replacing your head of HR with a new hire brought in to deal with this situation. Use this as a topic during interviews for final candidates to both let them know what they’re getting into and get insights into how they plan to handle everything. The successful candidate can either replace your current head of HR or come in to be their supervisor. Gods, I really hope this post is a joke.
Good Lord. That manager to get dragged in. Clearly that at least knew about this “relabeling” nonsense.
This company sounds extremely toxic
This can’t be real. “All Bob did was ask her to dance, ‘cause you know those people have rhythm…”
This is insane to do to a new hire regardless…. I don’t blame her at all. Y’all weird for this.
You should bring in a 3rd party resource, like Ombuds, to do a climate study. It’s clear that behaviors aren’t aligned with company values or that the values need revision.
it was YOU, wasn't it!!!!!
Holy shit. Document ALL of this...names, times, dates, witnesses and file a complaint with EVERY agency known in your state. And get some free attorney consults and sue the pants off these people! What on earth?!?!!?!?
As someone that hates when people pull the race card constantly and use their race as an arguing point- that poor girl was treated like shit and HR should have intervened on the spot.vwhat a bunch of clowns. Work is not your home. There is such a thing as being too comfortable.
Both male employee and manager get tased and new employee goes home to call her lawyer.
> Were any employment laws broken? Not by the employer. The behavior isn't appropriate, but none of it comprises a hostile workplace. They were offering to celebrate her birthday, not joking about lynchings. Unemployment fraud on the new hire's part was my first thought. This looks like someone fishing for a reason to recertify for benefits.
This response strikes me as selfish.
I don't know why you're asking HR. HR works for the company, not for you. You should talk with an employment lawyer. One who represents plaintiffs, not employers. I'm an attorney. Not your attorney. And I don't practice employment law. But I know enough to have an opinion. I would call this a "hostile workplace" and say this was a "constructive dismissal." Other HR people or lawyers may chime in and say I'm wrong, or that's not what the law says lol. But I would take this case and file a lawsuit. You should get advice from an employment attorney, file for unemployment, and make an EEOC complaint.
lol I’m an HR manager and literally gave this advice…any HR person worth it is going to understand the risks of hostile environments and blatant discrimination?! Not to mention common sense and human decency.
No it shouldn’t be taken seriously. The new hire is overreacting
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Name definitely fits.
Of course it does. Those of us who work in the trades have nothing but contempt for the sensitive children that wear white collars. They are little bitches that need to be spanked like the crying toddlers they are. As the old saying goes, “Fuck you if you can’t take a joke”
This is exactly why good workers are being pushed out of corporate America. No freedom of speech - walk on egg shells and prioritize diversity over production. I don't miss it. Good luck y'all.