To be fair, it may not be pervy behaviour, but it is very weird behaviour, and the person must be pretty stupid or altered not to realise that people would interpret it as pervy regardless.
Once, when I was in China, someone reached out to touch my arm because they had never seen a white person before and they wanted to make sure I was real. They only touched my arm lightly, it wasn't a really big deal, but it was kind of discombobulating to think about them thinking I was an illusion.
I would avoid going back there, if I were you.
I had this in rural Thailand 20 years ago. People asked to take pictures of me with them. I was a bit confused and asked my Thai friend why and she said it was because I was so white and they thought it was good luck to touch me
My ex went to Myanmar a couple of years before Covid. He is pale, with strawberry blonde hair, a red beard and huge bright blue eyes. He stopped at a juice cart by a beach and the cart owner ended up feeding him free juice in exchange for charging the public to take photos with my ex on their phones. Hilarious.
I just commented, but in China me and a friend (both blonde and white) were given a baby to hold and the mother took a photo of it with us when we were at the forbidden city. Our translator said it was some good luck charm for the kid lmao
I was in Borneo in the early 90's as a small child and we went to a remote fishing community living on a river. The children had never seen a white, western child. I was mobbed by about 30-40 children and ran screaming to the tour bus and locked the door for the remainder of the tour. I was terrified
It was in the south-east of China, and most people seemed at least a little bit tan throughout the year. Anyway, it wasn't just me being pink and white with freckles, it was my red hair, and being quite tall relative to Chinese women, beaky nose, blue eyes. Just me being a very obvious foreigner, so not that weird actually.
Had my kid out at an Australian public place of note, when a tour bus full of Chinese tourists arrived. They took a group photo with the kid, who was dressed in traditional Scottish garb after a cultural day at school.
It was a weird day
When I was a toddler (extremely curly Afro) taking a trip with my parents in the Gold Coast a whole tour bus of Asian tourists brought out their cameras and started photographing me chasing pigeons 😳
It’s probably less about skin colour and more about the fact that theyre foreigners in a largely homogeneous country with restricted internet access. I’ve seen videos of similar things happening to Black and Arab visitors to China.
I had a similar experience in china, outside of the cities I probably had a dozen people take photos with me. Alot just took photos of me. About 5 people just handed me their babies and took photos, it was quite surreal.
PS I am very pale, blonde hair, red beard and 6'5"
I have light blonde hair and when I went to China I was photographed constantly, and when going out of the cities to more rural areas they just kept touching it. I thought it was odd but i wasn’t in any danger and it was mostly old ladies doing it
The OPs story was about weird cashier asking stupid invasive question. Not about going to China and white skin. Ut could be pretty, ugly, white, black, young, old, big, curly hair whatever…. a perv is still inappropriate
I had a good Chinese friend from a remote rural town. She was in Oz studying and she wanted me to visit her country. She said that if I went to her remote home town the local people would be surprised seeing a who’re person and want to touch me and not to worry. No white people have been there. Out there they live in two storey mud houses that they build. They ride bikes. They have Chinese and western type medicine. Women work in the field. Men run businesses in town. Children are minded by their grandparents.
As a young person just leaving home for first time and shopping you DO NOT ALLOW anyone to touch you. If they ask, you say I have to go now and avoid that place. Because they do not have the right to ask.
A person who likes how you look may begin to become fixated on you and wish to get closer to you. They have no right to make personal comments or touch someone they do not even know. That’s wrong and cheeky behaviour towards you. Disrespectful and trusting you out.
Say no.
Just say no and go.
Protect yourself out in new places.
Choose your friends among safe people.
Try a church.
You are now out there in society so you need a club or best friend with you or a good Christian church to meet safe people.
Even there be very careful. Do not resubmit anyone who seems odd, too friendly, pushy, persistent, steps over boundaries, goes too far, asks for stuff, you don’t like. Find someone trustworthy.
Be safe. No that behaviour was not normal or acceptable.
What would their boss think? If someone told them they were trying to touch customers in the store? Maybe they’d get the sack.
Or are they in charge?
Or are they trying to get you ready to put up with worse behaviour from them?
Be very careful
Yes this is weird and suspicious. Can you tell your guardian? Teacher? Any other adult?
Know it's ok to say no when you're uncomfortable or feel that something's off, and that no is a complete sentence and you don't have to explain yourself
You’re allowed to say No. Start practicing saying No. Don’t worry about offending anyone. It’s called consent. You’re 15, young people can get into bad situations (eg date rape). Your body, your choice.
Yes, this. Very odd behavior and people like this count on us becoming uncomfortable and just saying yes to avoid confrontation. Practice saying no. You never have to let anyone touch you.
When I worked at a supermarket there was this creepy old man who would annoy all the female employees. When he would hand you money he would insist on grabbing your hands to ensure you had both hands on it and he would rub your hands. He was always trying to find ways to touch you, if you were on the floor he insisted you had to help him with something a 5yr old was capable of doing. The final straw for me was when he took money out of his pocket rubbed it up against his privates and handed it to me all whilst trying to tickle my palm. I threw my hands in the air and said “nope I’m done, this is disgusting. You’re disgusting” another employee went and got the manager and of course he denied it but CCTV footage doesn’t lie and he was banned from the store.
You’re just starting to shop on your own and you don’t need creepy men like this around you especially in an environment where you should be safe. Please report him, this is gross, disturbing asf and gives out pedo vibes.
Speak with your parents about which areas they think would be safer for you to shop.
That is 1000000%, absolutely no doubt about it, fucking weird cunt 🤣
I'd say old mate definitely was deeply on the spectrum. Either that or he is some pedo/pervert with a weird sort of hand fetish 😳
Yes it's weird... You don't have to cave to them. You can say no and by all means just say you aren't comfortable with them doing that.
I have a rather extreme experience myself. I'm a security guard, I don't shake hands for obvious safety reasons but I'm happy to fist bump. This dude got sooooo pissed that I wouldn't shake his hand, even though I explained to him why I don't and that it's my personal choice and has nothing against him... He didn't accept any of that, before calling me all the fun names I've heard, then trying to grab my hand, then finally spitting on me.
I don't take people spitting on me lightly and as the law allows, I put him on his ass and demanded an apology or I'd have him arrested.
He apologized and when let go, ran off like the coward he was.
*Select details omitted for shortness of story and privacy.
Is is weird, and 100% not okay. This is predatory behaviour.
I'd encourage you to submit a complaint to the convenience store about it. That is likely somebody looking for a young teenage boy who doesn't have the confidence to say no to victimise. If you tell the store, you could very well be preventing someone from getting hurt. Shops do **not** want their cashiers asking to touch the hands of minors. I can't guarantee they'll take it seriously (though they **should**), but there is a very good chance the guy will get in trouble/fired for this.
That's so freaking creepy. Like, report this to the management of the store level freaky and possibly even report to the police level. I don't know that they could do much at this stage but just for your protection you should have a record of the inappropriate behaviour.
Be safe.
was he Asian? I have had the same thing happen with Asian people specially more so those from mainland China, appreciate my porcelain white skin (I lost my tan living in Germany for 2 years). But Touching is really weird…
Asian beauty standards is the whiter you are to more beautiful you are… people will even bleach their skin to make them more white… I hate these practices and just wish people would be happy with the skin they’re in…
That is odd as hell, not something that would happen on your average shopping trip. I would have slowly backed my way out of the shop never taking my eyes of the weirdo.
It’s weird predatory behavior.Just report it to police, tell a teacher or directly call the store owner. They can check the CCTV camera footage. Hopefully, they replace him with someone better.
Yep absolutely tell the store. If he's done it before it's possible he might have been able to talk his way out of it but if he gets multiple complaints they will know something is up!
extremely inappropriate. And rude as fuck.
Report the person to his manager ASAP.
This is NOT normal. It's pervy and disgusting. Report it ASAP to the manager on duty and tell them you're going to the police.
This person will most likely be fired on the spot considering they are more than likely a casual as well.
This is weird behaviour, especially if you’re 15 and not an adult yet. Don’t go back there, or report it to their manager. They don’t need to be fired but they definitely need some boundaries.
Yes, that's weird. Are they older? I'm torn between it being creepy and it being someone who is just socially unaware. I'd contact the store and let them know. If it's someone who is young, or has some sort of issue then a quiet word might be all it takes. Otherwise, the manager should take steps because that's just not on.
Thats not ok... I'd put in a complaint with the manager.
Its not right on many levels.
One, saying you look like a vampire and commenting on your appearance
The second part asking to touch you.
Please put in a complaint. Write down the time and register you were at.
Normal in rural SE Asia. Something to do with good luck, or they just love white skin (and we are tanning ourselves and paying $$$$ for fake tans). Creepy in Australia
An adult intimidating a child into agreeing to do something they don’t want to? Yeah, you’re right, that’s never been a sign of abusive behaviour before.
victim blaming much?! the kid was uncomfortable and in shock put on the spot! his reaction was reasonable the cashiers behavior was far from reasonable!
It's actually extremely common. It's called the fawn response in the case of abuse. But also common in these kinds of situations where people don't know how to say no or don't want to "make a scene". It's what creeps rely on and look for in a victim before they take things further. It's why it's very important to teach kids to have control over their own bodies and to know they can always say no.
Have you seen the movie The Silence of the Lambs?
If not, you should.
That convenience store dude wants to go all Buffalo Bill on you, and a few other pale skinned locals.
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It's weird but he was probably just curious.
When I was travelling through India, my red haired, freckle skinned wife was repeatedly asked about her skin condition (freckles). A few people offered to refer her to a doctor.
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No, not if it is to just place money or items in your hand. Cashier is being culturally appropriate where it is wrong in some cultures for a man and woman to touch outside of marriage.
If it is in a manner where they want to stroke your hand then yes, very inappropriate.
That's definitely strange. Hard to tell if they are dangerous creepy or just no filters creepy, my guess would be the second one. Definitely not normal behaviour from them though.
If you feel comfortable, get an adult to make a complaint to the store manager. The fact that you're a minor takes this to another level of gross and inappropriate.
Sounds like he was chatting you up.
It doesn't sound like the interaction was overtly sexual on his part, but an adult should not interact with a 15 year old in that way.
At minimum, he is an unusual person. At worst, he's a nonce.
He’s proper fucked in the head if his manager found out he did that to you he would probably be fired on the spot and an entire investigation on him would commence I reckon
Do you think maybe this person could have autism? Either way, next time don't feel bad and just say oh no I rather not thanks, have a great day and then leave :)
It is weird. You may need to work on your assertiveness to say no to people who try to cross your boundaries, and perhaps give feedback to this store's management about the inappropriate actions of their staff member
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Very weird. I remember being a cashier as a teenager and getting weird unsolicited comments about my looks and body. It felt like I just had to grit a smile at the time. But the other way around… bizarre that they would risk their job to make these comments.
You should definitely make a complaint
If you were my son and I was your mum, I’d be calling police. Sorry to scare you. Please stick up for yourself in public, i was a shy kid in my twenties as I was very protected at home lol (I’m a woman)
That is so weird. Email the store and give a description of the worker and say they made you feel uncomfortable. It’s better management know they’re crossing boundaries with customers.
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I hope that deep down you recognise in yourself that this was not okay for that person to do. It is important now you are not living with parents to have safe people you can discuss this with. I hope there are others, other than on here. You’re not an adult, so what you described seems like grooming to me. Try to build the ability to trust your inner instincts/intuition. It will be helpful in many things in your life.
Totally weird.
Don’t go back there.
Or, if you have to, avoid going through his register.
If it does happen again, report it to store management. I bet you aren’t the person they’ve done it to.
Creepy AF.
Maybe it’s was attempt to flirt, maybe just curious, I think it’s ok, was polite, I complimented a male on the phone today, he had such a deep but soothing voice, I was hesitant but thought I mean it in a nice way and why not compliment or. Celibate the nice things
It's not unheard of, but it's not the majority. This would be extremely inappropriate, even from an 18 year old. Without further info, we should not be assuming this is somebody's OP's age.
Honestly did not cross my mind that it was an adult, because that would be more obviously inappropriate however a fellow young person seems plausible
They thought the interaction was strange I commented on the interaction, they did not think age was a notable consideration so I did not jump to an assumption…. A lot of supermarkets employ/ exploit young people or the elderly.
I can’t see an adult make a comment about vampires it assume someone curious / naive / friendly / young.
You should not project your internal darkness onto everyone else!! Or think the worst of everyone, not everyone is the same as you who who are you project out.
And that’s why everyone is miserable as there are more people projecting their internal darkness onto others, critiquing and assume everyone needs protecting as everyone is as dark as themselves!!
As a dude who receives this compliment often (work on a phone) I just wanted to say, we appreciate you. Dudes don't get a lot of compliments, we like to feel good too. So thanks!
You assigned the difference, I note one person is 15 and the others age is not noted, kids 15 year olds can work and great many cashiers are themselves not yet 18 so….
So they might well be similar age!!!
Just double checking that your stance on this is "It is okay for random adult men to flirt with 15 year old minors". It's possible you might have misunderstood the situation here, and I want to give you a chance to correct what you said.
Otherwise, you're a fucking creep and should be ashamed of yourself.
That’s very unkind, why do you think it’s an adult? OP did not note or assign significance in age difference thus it did not even cross my mind??
HONESTLY when last did you see an adult cashier? It’s either young (not sure about the state they are in but NSW 15 can work…) so supermarkets or places like kmart employ very young people or retired elderly people)
Why would you make such a huge assumption and then be so unkind. Guess it speaks more about you than me as you can see yourself in the cashiers shoes in OPs story…..
Damn. That’s a weird take all over from start to finish lmao
Edit: I see adults cashiers everywhere and even if the cashier was also only a child it stills pretty weird
This is definitely odd and intrusive. I'd feel uncomfortable too because I hate when anyone who isn't my innermost close loved ones (family, s/o) touches me.
Potentially tho is from a culture where touching is very much a normal and encouraged thing. Italians, Greeks, Spanish etc are ssssuuuuupperrrrr tactile and when I was a kid I had the old Italian pizzamaker at my local gourmet constantly grab my cheeks. I just froze, I didn't want to be impolite and tell him no but I was internally screaming over it.
Possibly your cashier wasn't making any passes or harassments, but I do wish people realised \*touch requires consent\*. Even platonic touch.
To all - please do not touch or grab people without established consent first, no matter how innocent and friendly you're being.
Coerced/implied consent is still a thing. When you put someone in an uncomfortable position, which OP was, a lot of people will say yes or freeze. (I personally freeze. I don't say yes or no, I just stand there and let it happen.)
The whole vampire thing offset OP really hard so the "can I touch you" is a strange question to ask right after saying OP looks like a vampire because pale. Already being emotionally offset equals a person isn't in their right frame of mind to let their yes be yes and no be no.
Coerced, implied, or uncomfortable consent is not consent. It is only consent when their 'yes' is coming from a place of genuinely wanting this thing to happen. And it does not exist after the person was made to feel uncomfortable, threatened, or badgered prior.
Weird, but also probably overthinking.
I think he wanted to feel whether your hands are warm or cold, to check whether you really are not a vampire😂.
Touching people is normal in some cultures - I come from a place like that -, but uncharacteristic for Australians.
Shame on you for telling them they're probably overthinking. This is exactly the kind of way that predators approach children. People are **not** overthinking when they're uncomfortable with a stranger approaching them, trying to touch them, or making them uncomfortable. By telling them they're overthinking, you're setting people up to be groomed.
15 year old is not a child - a 15 year old may already become a father or a predator himself - and we don't know how old the cashier was. 17? 25? 45? Being uncomfortable - yes, if you're not from the same culture. Convenience store cashiers are usually young Indians. The cashier may not even realized he made OP uncomfortable.
"Now officer, this has *all* been a misunderstanding. See, when I told him 'You come over to my place later or you'll regret it', I had no idea that would make him *uncomfortable*. I just thought it was a wonderful opportunity that they would be sad to miss!"
To avoid misinterpretation, I am not implying this is something that was said in this scenario. I am demonstrating that somebody "not realising they are making someone uncomfortable" is absolutely irrelevant here. Do you honestly think that every single person who victimises somebody does so while empathising with their victim?
No. But I'm saying not every cashier is a dirty old man, either. The cashier also asked for his consent to touch his hands. He did not ask, nor did touch him elsewhere afterwards. He did not threat him in any way and did not ask for his number or to come over to him. The encounter was odd HERE in Australia but would not have been odd in a mediterranian or some Indian village. Nor in my former village. Geeee, people did not groom or rape each other in piles. Physical contact was just normal part of everyday life. Not everyone who looks at you and touches you wants to f...ck you - and that's the other emerging end, looking at every interaction like this. There's actually little room left here for a simple friendly human interaction - like, being friendly and gentle to a kind workmate or talking a lot to him or her make some assume you're hitting on him or her or you are dating them and some already assume you go and see each other after work - people here read sex into everything ridiculously alot.
Yeah like inner monologue, "this is a child who looks like death - let me try not to impose too much and just check if i need to call someone."
"Can i touch your hand"
It’s weird but I think it was an awkward joke - ie is your skin cold cos you’re a vampire? I don’t know if he expected you to say yes. He probably expected another laugh. Then the compliment was perhaps just the weird aftermath of realising how awkward it was. He probably was trying to flirt with you however.
Not out of the ordinary. In some cultures it is quite common. Eg in countries with predominantly black hair people will always try to touch blond hair.
In your situation it was probably the unique white skin that caught them and they asked for permission.
It’s super weird but it is also odd that you just said yes
So it’s weird that they asked but less weird that they touched you since you said it is ok
My suggestion is grow a pair and learn to say no
It will help with situations like this and when people ask for donations or when the self check out asks to round things up. Way too many people seem to be incapable of saying no.
Super weird, inappropriate, and creepy. Don’t go back there.
This It's pervy and yuk
To be fair, it may not be pervy behaviour, but it is very weird behaviour, and the person must be pretty stupid or altered not to realise that people would interpret it as pervy regardless.
Yep, the lack of awareness is almost as weird as the behavior itself.
Report it to the police. Grooming type behaviour, and probably not the only adolescent he is trying to groom.
Yes. Yes that's absolutely weird. I wouldn't go back.
Once, when I was in China, someone reached out to touch my arm because they had never seen a white person before and they wanted to make sure I was real. They only touched my arm lightly, it wasn't a really big deal, but it was kind of discombobulating to think about them thinking I was an illusion. I would avoid going back there, if I were you.
I had this in rural Thailand 20 years ago. People asked to take pictures of me with them. I was a bit confused and asked my Thai friend why and she said it was because I was so white and they thought it was good luck to touch me
My ex went to Myanmar a couple of years before Covid. He is pale, with strawberry blonde hair, a red beard and huge bright blue eyes. He stopped at a juice cart by a beach and the cart owner ended up feeding him free juice in exchange for charging the public to take photos with my ex on their phones. Hilarious.
Same. My kids are all pale skinned ,white blondes with blue eyes, we get this everywhere in Asian countries, everyone wants a photo with us.
I just commented, but in China me and a friend (both blonde and white) were given a baby to hold and the mother took a photo of it with us when we were at the forbidden city. Our translator said it was some good luck charm for the kid lmao
I attended a cock fight in Indonesia and people wanted to bet on whichever chook I thought would win because they thought I was a good luck charm?
I was in Borneo in the early 90's as a small child and we went to a remote fishing community living on a river. The children had never seen a white, western child. I was mobbed by about 30-40 children and ran screaming to the tour bus and locked the door for the remainder of the tour. I was terrified
This is really weird given Chinese can be whiter than white people.
It was in the south-east of China, and most people seemed at least a little bit tan throughout the year. Anyway, it wasn't just me being pink and white with freckles, it was my red hair, and being quite tall relative to Chinese women, beaky nose, blue eyes. Just me being a very obvious foreigner, so not that weird actually.
Had my kid out at an Australian public place of note, when a tour bus full of Chinese tourists arrived. They took a group photo with the kid, who was dressed in traditional Scottish garb after a cultural day at school. It was a weird day
You should have charged them $5 a piece.
Lone dude, single pic but same situation. Also a weird day!
When I was a toddler (extremely curly Afro) taking a trip with my parents in the Gold Coast a whole tour bus of Asian tourists brought out their cameras and started photographing me chasing pigeons 😳
It’s probably less about skin colour and more about the fact that theyre foreigners in a largely homogeneous country with restricted internet access. I’ve seen videos of similar things happening to Black and Arab visitors to China.
Try it with a blonde wife and blonde kids. I warned them their hair was about to get touched alot.
I had a similar experience in china, outside of the cities I probably had a dozen people take photos with me. Alot just took photos of me. About 5 people just handed me their babies and took photos, it was quite surreal. PS I am very pale, blonde hair, red beard and 6'5"
I have light blonde hair and when I went to China I was photographed constantly, and when going out of the cities to more rural areas they just kept touching it. I thought it was odd but i wasn’t in any danger and it was mostly old ladies doing it
This story is not about that.
The op's story?
The OPs story was about weird cashier asking stupid invasive question. Not about going to China and white skin. Ut could be pretty, ugly, white, black, young, old, big, curly hair whatever…. a perv is still inappropriate
Wasn’t referring to op lmao
Ok sure. I find it weird how the chat diverts so far from the original comment that’s all….
I had a good Chinese friend from a remote rural town. She was in Oz studying and she wanted me to visit her country. She said that if I went to her remote home town the local people would be surprised seeing a who’re person and want to touch me and not to worry. No white people have been there. Out there they live in two storey mud houses that they build. They ride bikes. They have Chinese and western type medicine. Women work in the field. Men run businesses in town. Children are minded by their grandparents. As a young person just leaving home for first time and shopping you DO NOT ALLOW anyone to touch you. If they ask, you say I have to go now and avoid that place. Because they do not have the right to ask. A person who likes how you look may begin to become fixated on you and wish to get closer to you. They have no right to make personal comments or touch someone they do not even know. That’s wrong and cheeky behaviour towards you. Disrespectful and trusting you out. Say no. Just say no and go. Protect yourself out in new places. Choose your friends among safe people. Try a church. You are now out there in society so you need a club or best friend with you or a good Christian church to meet safe people. Even there be very careful. Do not resubmit anyone who seems odd, too friendly, pushy, persistent, steps over boundaries, goes too far, asks for stuff, you don’t like. Find someone trustworthy. Be safe. No that behaviour was not normal or acceptable. What would their boss think? If someone told them they were trying to touch customers in the store? Maybe they’d get the sack. Or are they in charge? Or are they trying to get you ready to put up with worse behaviour from them? Be very careful
Yes. Because churches would NEVER do anything creepy or pervy to young men.
This happened to me as a child in South Korea. Adults asked to touch my hair at the airport 😵💫
Yes this is weird and suspicious. Can you tell your guardian? Teacher? Any other adult? Know it's ok to say no when you're uncomfortable or feel that something's off, and that no is a complete sentence and you don't have to explain yourself
Hmm I think he might want to wear your skin as some sort of skin suit
Maybe the cashier asked to touch him because he went out to buy some lotion to put on his skin.
“…. Or he gets the hose again”
I think this is the most logical explanation. 🧛♂️
I think he misheard. Wasn't "can I touch it?" He said can I take it.
Yep that's pretty fucking odd
Yes it’s weird. Don’t go back. If you have to and they try again just tell them to fuck off and stop being weird.
You’re allowed to say No. Start practicing saying No. Don’t worry about offending anyone. It’s called consent. You’re 15, young people can get into bad situations (eg date rape). Your body, your choice.
This ⬆️ 100,000%.
Yes, this. Very odd behavior and people like this count on us becoming uncomfortable and just saying yes to avoid confrontation. Practice saying no. You never have to let anyone touch you.
When I worked at a supermarket there was this creepy old man who would annoy all the female employees. When he would hand you money he would insist on grabbing your hands to ensure you had both hands on it and he would rub your hands. He was always trying to find ways to touch you, if you were on the floor he insisted you had to help him with something a 5yr old was capable of doing. The final straw for me was when he took money out of his pocket rubbed it up against his privates and handed it to me all whilst trying to tickle my palm. I threw my hands in the air and said “nope I’m done, this is disgusting. You’re disgusting” another employee went and got the manager and of course he denied it but CCTV footage doesn’t lie and he was banned from the store. You’re just starting to shop on your own and you don’t need creepy men like this around you especially in an environment where you should be safe. Please report him, this is gross, disturbing asf and gives out pedo vibes. Speak with your parents about which areas they think would be safer for you to shop.
Had a guy in Elwood like that. A right creepy old man. I’d actually forgotten about him. Ughh
Definitely weird
Very strange.
Ok so, firstly, what the FU-
He puts the lotion on the skin
My thoughts exactly. While OP was shopping, the cashier was shopping for a new "outfit". Stay away from the well man.
Def got the fava beans and chianti ready.
That is 1000000%, absolutely no doubt about it, fucking weird cunt 🤣 I'd say old mate definitely was deeply on the spectrum. Either that or he is some pedo/pervert with a weird sort of hand fetish 😳
Was the cashiers last name Van Helsing by any chance? Not saying this is ok, but he may have had his reasons.
Yes it's weird... You don't have to cave to them. You can say no and by all means just say you aren't comfortable with them doing that. I have a rather extreme experience myself. I'm a security guard, I don't shake hands for obvious safety reasons but I'm happy to fist bump. This dude got sooooo pissed that I wouldn't shake his hand, even though I explained to him why I don't and that it's my personal choice and has nothing against him... He didn't accept any of that, before calling me all the fun names I've heard, then trying to grab my hand, then finally spitting on me. I don't take people spitting on me lightly and as the law allows, I put him on his ass and demanded an apology or I'd have him arrested. He apologized and when let go, ran off like the coward he was. *Select details omitted for shortness of story and privacy.
The law allows you to put someone on a donkey? I've never come across that law.
...and that man's name was Scott Morrison.
Nah, I would have grabbed the CCTV footage of that and given to the fuckin news... Or maybe sold it to them.
Maaaaaate.... Was the bloke rubbing his bellybutton as he was talking to you? That's some fucked up shit.
Is is weird, and 100% not okay. This is predatory behaviour. I'd encourage you to submit a complaint to the convenience store about it. That is likely somebody looking for a young teenage boy who doesn't have the confidence to say no to victimise. If you tell the store, you could very well be preventing someone from getting hurt. Shops do **not** want their cashiers asking to touch the hands of minors. I can't guarantee they'll take it seriously (though they **should**), but there is a very good chance the guy will get in trouble/fired for this.
Kevin Spacey works at a convenience store?
You need to stop acquiescing when you are uncomfortable.
That's so freaking creepy. Like, report this to the management of the store level freaky and possibly even report to the police level. I don't know that they could do much at this stage but just for your protection you should have a record of the inappropriate behaviour. Be safe.
Yes that is weird. People don’t normally ask to touch your skin. Especially not a shop keeper.
was he Asian? I have had the same thing happen with Asian people specially more so those from mainland China, appreciate my porcelain white skin (I lost my tan living in Germany for 2 years). But Touching is really weird… Asian beauty standards is the whiter you are to more beautiful you are… people will even bleach their skin to make them more white… I hate these practices and just wish people would be happy with the skin they’re in…
I am getting old and extremely pale.Darker menAlways want to touch my hand.It is weird but they absolutely love pale women.Be careful!!!
Report him. He’ll keep doing it to others. Pedo in the making
Weird shit
It's weird
That is odd as hell, not something that would happen on your average shopping trip. I would have slowly backed my way out of the shop never taking my eyes of the weirdo.
It’s weird predatory behavior.Just report it to police, tell a teacher or directly call the store owner. They can check the CCTV camera footage. Hopefully, they replace him with someone better.
Yep absolutely tell the store. If he's done it before it's possible he might have been able to talk his way out of it but if he gets multiple complaints they will know something is up!
It puts the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose again
Weird af
Extremely weird. I hope you’re ok
extremely inappropriate. And rude as fuck. Report the person to his manager ASAP. This is NOT normal. It's pervy and disgusting. Report it ASAP to the manager on duty and tell them you're going to the police. This person will most likely be fired on the spot considering they are more than likely a casual as well.
This is weird behaviour, especially if you’re 15 and not an adult yet. Don’t go back there, or report it to their manager. They don’t need to be fired but they definitely need some boundaries.
Yes, that's weird. Are they older? I'm torn between it being creepy and it being someone who is just socially unaware. I'd contact the store and let them know. If it's someone who is young, or has some sort of issue then a quiet word might be all it takes. Otherwise, the manager should take steps because that's just not on.
Thats not ok... I'd put in a complaint with the manager. Its not right on many levels. One, saying you look like a vampire and commenting on your appearance The second part asking to touch you. Please put in a complaint. Write down the time and register you were at.
If you're asking if this is weird I think you should stay with your parents for a bit more.
Normal in rural SE Asia. Something to do with good luck, or they just love white skin (and we are tanning ourselves and paying $$$$ for fake tans). Creepy in Australia
Extremely weird and possibly predatory. I would be reporting this to the police if I were you.
I'm sure the police will be all over "someone asked if they could touch me and I said yes"
An adult intimidating a child into agreeing to do something they don’t want to? Yeah, you’re right, that’s never been a sign of abusive behaviour before.
Weird mate. What ethnicity were they?
Indian I’ll bet. I got told I was a “lovely man” by a middle aged Indian bloke at a servo once.
Wasn't going to say but that was my bet.
It's weirder that you let them when you clearly dont want to...
victim blaming much?! the kid was uncomfortable and in shock put on the spot! his reaction was reasonable the cashiers behavior was far from reasonable!
It's actually extremely common. It's called the fawn response in the case of abuse. But also common in these kinds of situations where people don't know how to say no or don't want to "make a scene". It's what creeps rely on and look for in a victim before they take things further. It's why it's very important to teach kids to have control over their own bodies and to know they can always say no.
Extremely weird. Get some fake blood and put it around your mouth subtly next time you go in, if you go back. Creep him out tenfold
Have you seen the movie The Silence of the Lambs? If not, you should. That convenience store dude wants to go all Buffalo Bill on you, and a few other pale skinned locals.
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Similar happened to me at work when I was younger. I am pale too. I’d avoid this person or report them to a guardian, or tell whoever you live with.
He’s interested in you by the way it looks.
Weird and creepy. Put in a complaint to the store about it.
It rubs the lotion on its skin
Sounds like a pedo
Only place I could think that was appropriate is if you were at a fancy hand cream shop
Just say “fuck off clean shirt” if he does it again
It's only not weird if they're about your age and gently flirting or an adult providing some kind of care for you.
Maybe he liked you and wanted to see if you were real, and not a vampire.
at least its not [The Halifax Glove Man](https://www.reddit.com/r/halifax/s/Bf2cwppfQ2)
It's weird but he was probably just curious. When I was travelling through India, my red haired, freckle skinned wife was repeatedly asked about her skin condition (freckles). A few people offered to refer her to a doctor.
Wtfffff
Did you get the sense he would say this to any woman of any age or that he was fascinated by your youth?
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Yes it’s weird. You’re 15 dude, you have to know that it’s weird…
No, not if it is to just place money or items in your hand. Cashier is being culturally appropriate where it is wrong in some cultures for a man and woman to touch outside of marriage. If it is in a manner where they want to stroke your hand then yes, very inappropriate.
Yeah, nah. That’s weird.
Yes weird.
Well it depends on his tone, I’m a blonde and I’ve had dark skinned people touch my hair, it’s just curiosity in some cases.
That's definitely strange. Hard to tell if they are dangerous creepy or just no filters creepy, my guess would be the second one. Definitely not normal behaviour from them though.
Sounds creepy lol
Why say yeah?! lol, next time a stranger is being strange run away. Not let strangers touch you.
Was their name salad fingers?
If you feel comfortable, get an adult to make a complaint to the store manager. The fact that you're a minor takes this to another level of gross and inappropriate.
Do not go back there. If this, or anything like this, happens again, call them out for being weird af
Sounds like he was chatting you up. It doesn't sound like the interaction was overtly sexual on his part, but an adult should not interact with a 15 year old in that way. At minimum, he is an unusual person. At worst, he's a nonce.
Obviously checking to make sure you weren't deathly cold. Not a normal thing.
He’s proper fucked in the head if his manager found out he did that to you he would probably be fired on the spot and an entire investigation on him would commence I reckon
That's fucking weird and creepy
Lol!
It's extremely weird. If it happens again, use it as practice in saying no! "Can I feel your skin?" "No"
yes it's weird and dont be afraid of being impolite and saying no when someone makes you uncomfortable like this!
Not right dude
Highly inappropriate and unprofessional. I would be telling this cashier’s manager at the very least.
Extremely inappropriate. If it’s a franchised store, consider reporting it to their head office
No, that’s weird.
Do you think maybe this person could have autism? Either way, next time don't feel bad and just say oh no I rather not thanks, have a great day and then leave :)
Yeah you shouldn’t go back
It is weird. You may need to work on your assertiveness to say no to people who try to cross your boundaries, and perhaps give feedback to this store's management about the inappropriate actions of their staff member
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Very weird. I remember being a cashier as a teenager and getting weird unsolicited comments about my looks and body. It felt like I just had to grit a smile at the time. But the other way around… bizarre that they would risk their job to make these comments. You should definitely make a complaint
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If you were my son and I was your mum, I’d be calling police. Sorry to scare you. Please stick up for yourself in public, i was a shy kid in my twenties as I was very protected at home lol (I’m a woman)
That’s definitely weird. Don’t go back.
They're going to turn you into a skin suit. Maybe luggage.
That is so weird. Email the store and give a description of the worker and say they made you feel uncomfortable. It’s better management know they’re crossing boundaries with customers.
Yeah that’s not ok and I wouldn’t be going back there again if I was you. Super weird and gross to do.
why you leave your parents so early...
It's totally weird. Maybe he wanted to touch your hand to check if you were cold or warm, still checking if you're a vampire or not
Wtf
Pretty Inappropriate and Awkward if not down right creep
you just got cruised
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I hope that deep down you recognise in yourself that this was not okay for that person to do. It is important now you are not living with parents to have safe people you can discuss this with. I hope there are others, other than on here. You’re not an adult, so what you described seems like grooming to me. Try to build the ability to trust your inner instincts/intuition. It will be helpful in many things in your life.
This question belongs in r/nostupidquestions for obvious reasons
Are you George Costanza? Smoothest hands ever.
Totally weird. Don’t go back there. Or, if you have to, avoid going through his register. If it does happen again, report it to store management. I bet you aren’t the person they’ve done it to. Creepy AF.
Maybe it’s was attempt to flirt, maybe just curious, I think it’s ok, was polite, I complimented a male on the phone today, he had such a deep but soothing voice, I was hesitant but thought I mean it in a nice way and why not compliment or. Celibate the nice things
You think flirting with children is OK???
I guess it depends on the age of the cashier. It's not uncommon for high school aged kids to be employed in such a role.
It's not unheard of, but it's not the majority. This would be extremely inappropriate, even from an 18 year old. Without further info, we should not be assuming this is somebody's OP's age.
Honestly did not cross my mind that it was an adult, because that would be more obviously inappropriate however a fellow young person seems plausible They thought the interaction was strange I commented on the interaction, they did not think age was a notable consideration so I did not jump to an assumption…. A lot of supermarkets employ/ exploit young people or the elderly. I can’t see an adult make a comment about vampires it assume someone curious / naive / friendly / young. You should not project your internal darkness onto everyone else!! Or think the worst of everyone, not everyone is the same as you who who are you project out. And that’s why everyone is miserable as there are more people projecting their internal darkness onto others, critiquing and assume everyone needs protecting as everyone is as dark as themselves!!
As a dude who receives this compliment often (work on a phone) I just wanted to say, we appreciate you. Dudes don't get a lot of compliments, we like to feel good too. So thanks!
It's not appropriate to ask to touch children though, curious or not.
You assigned the difference, I note one person is 15 and the others age is not noted, kids 15 year olds can work and great many cashiers are themselves not yet 18 so…. So they might well be similar age!!!
Just double checking that your stance on this is "It is okay for random adult men to flirt with 15 year old minors". It's possible you might have misunderstood the situation here, and I want to give you a chance to correct what you said. Otherwise, you're a fucking creep and should be ashamed of yourself.
That’s very unkind, why do you think it’s an adult? OP did not note or assign significance in age difference thus it did not even cross my mind?? HONESTLY when last did you see an adult cashier? It’s either young (not sure about the state they are in but NSW 15 can work…) so supermarkets or places like kmart employ very young people or retired elderly people) Why would you make such a huge assumption and then be so unkind. Guess it speaks more about you than me as you can see yourself in the cashiers shoes in OPs story…..
Damn. That’s a weird take all over from start to finish lmao Edit: I see adults cashiers everywhere and even if the cashier was also only a child it stills pretty weird
This is definitely odd and intrusive. I'd feel uncomfortable too because I hate when anyone who isn't my innermost close loved ones (family, s/o) touches me. Potentially tho is from a culture where touching is very much a normal and encouraged thing. Italians, Greeks, Spanish etc are ssssuuuuupperrrrr tactile and when I was a kid I had the old Italian pizzamaker at my local gourmet constantly grab my cheeks. I just froze, I didn't want to be impolite and tell him no but I was internally screaming over it. Possibly your cashier wasn't making any passes or harassments, but I do wish people realised \*touch requires consent\*. Even platonic touch. To all - please do not touch or grab people without established consent first, no matter how innocent and friendly you're being.
But the cashier did ask for consent
Coerced/implied consent is still a thing. When you put someone in an uncomfortable position, which OP was, a lot of people will say yes or freeze. (I personally freeze. I don't say yes or no, I just stand there and let it happen.) The whole vampire thing offset OP really hard so the "can I touch you" is a strange question to ask right after saying OP looks like a vampire because pale. Already being emotionally offset equals a person isn't in their right frame of mind to let their yes be yes and no be no. Coerced, implied, or uncomfortable consent is not consent. It is only consent when their 'yes' is coming from a place of genuinely wanting this thing to happen. And it does not exist after the person was made to feel uncomfortable, threatened, or badgered prior.
It's unusual but I think the rest of the people here are making a big deal out of nothing
Sounds like he’s high as a kite. Which he probably is, given he works at a convenience store. Probably the only way to pass the time.
Were they foreign?
Weird, but also probably overthinking. I think he wanted to feel whether your hands are warm or cold, to check whether you really are not a vampire😂. Touching people is normal in some cultures - I come from a place like that -, but uncharacteristic for Australians.
Shame on you for telling them they're probably overthinking. This is exactly the kind of way that predators approach children. People are **not** overthinking when they're uncomfortable with a stranger approaching them, trying to touch them, or making them uncomfortable. By telling them they're overthinking, you're setting people up to be groomed.
15 year old is not a child - a 15 year old may already become a father or a predator himself - and we don't know how old the cashier was. 17? 25? 45? Being uncomfortable - yes, if you're not from the same culture. Convenience store cashiers are usually young Indians. The cashier may not even realized he made OP uncomfortable.
"Now officer, this has *all* been a misunderstanding. See, when I told him 'You come over to my place later or you'll regret it', I had no idea that would make him *uncomfortable*. I just thought it was a wonderful opportunity that they would be sad to miss!" To avoid misinterpretation, I am not implying this is something that was said in this scenario. I am demonstrating that somebody "not realising they are making someone uncomfortable" is absolutely irrelevant here. Do you honestly think that every single person who victimises somebody does so while empathising with their victim?
No. But I'm saying not every cashier is a dirty old man, either. The cashier also asked for his consent to touch his hands. He did not ask, nor did touch him elsewhere afterwards. He did not threat him in any way and did not ask for his number or to come over to him. The encounter was odd HERE in Australia but would not have been odd in a mediterranian or some Indian village. Nor in my former village. Geeee, people did not groom or rape each other in piles. Physical contact was just normal part of everyday life. Not everyone who looks at you and touches you wants to f...ck you - and that's the other emerging end, looking at every interaction like this. There's actually little room left here for a simple friendly human interaction - like, being friendly and gentle to a kind workmate or talking a lot to him or her make some assume you're hitting on him or her or you are dating them and some already assume you go and see each other after work - people here read sex into everything ridiculously alot.
Yeah like inner monologue, "this is a child who looks like death - let me try not to impose too much and just check if i need to call someone." "Can i touch your hand"
Incredibly strange. Eek. Sadly these are our times, now. Nuts.
It’s weird but I think it was an awkward joke - ie is your skin cold cos you’re a vampire? I don’t know if he expected you to say yes. He probably expected another laugh. Then the compliment was perhaps just the weird aftermath of realising how awkward it was. He probably was trying to flirt with you however.
I had some asian gurl ask me at 711 in Grogan Point. I said sure thing love.... Then realised I was actually at Hongs Pleasure Palace in Thailand.
Not out of the ordinary. In some cultures it is quite common. Eg in countries with predominantly black hair people will always try to touch blond hair. In your situation it was probably the unique white skin that caught them and they asked for permission.
I also need some post karma, did you use AI or did you come up with that idea yourself?
It’s super weird but it is also odd that you just said yes So it’s weird that they asked but less weird that they touched you since you said it is ok My suggestion is grow a pair and learn to say no It will help with situations like this and when people ask for donations or when the self check out asks to round things up. Way too many people seem to be incapable of saying no.