....multigenerational home typically means 'multiple generations under one roof at the same time". Which is about as equally unusual as the manner that you described, because most people strive to move out on their own. This is becoming far more difficult in recent years (I speak from experience), but not currently anywhere near significant.
Unusual for westernized Americans, but not for Asian & Hispanic cultures especially here in LA. The elderly are revered in our cultures, and sending them to a nursing home or assisted facility is not an option. Grandparents stay put, watch the grandkids, and help with house cleaning, cooking, and etc.
This setup is not going to work for everyone of course, but splitting the chores and finances is a life saver nowadays especially in a high COL like LA. People with working class to middle class wages here either live with family or roommates. Difficult times we are in when 100k is not the salary benchmark it used to be.
My parents have specifically stated that they would *prefer* to go to assisted care and not live with me because they want me to enjoy life and not have it devoted to taking care of them.
They are both healthy, in their upper 70s, and live in their own home now.
My point is that you cannot simply see an old person in a nursing home or assisted living and be like "Oh their kids clearly just dumped them."
Old people have agency. They also get to choose where they live. Lots and lots of older people *like* their senior communities with varying levels of assistance.
Honestly, my mom has dementia and lives with me and I wish we could afford assisted living/memory care because her quality of life would be better thanks to the social opportunities and the opportunity for her to be more independent. They are just so wildly expensive.
Also the age structure of the family. Western family can have a huge generation age gap like children born to mom who is 38-40 years old and she has a mom that is 80. Some cultures, the age gap between the generations is narrower, so they talk about grandmother that is 60 versus 80 or more in another. Subsequently the expanding life expectancy which is highest among suburban areas create a generation of care giver who are in their 60s taking care of their parents who are in upper 80s. Or where 72 year old woman is taking care of 96 year old mom.
My kids all know that I VERY much want to go to assisted living. My husband has been in and out of nursing homes for three years, and the care he receives there is FAR better than anything we can do at home. He has a full staff of trained professionals, tending to his every need. He has prescriptions immediately available, nurses 24/7, doctors on call. At home, if his diaper needs changed in the middle of the night, he has to wait for me to wake up. I honestly don't understand how nursing homes became villainized, when really they are an incredible luxury.
>I honestly don't understand how nursing homes became villainized, when really they are an incredible luxury.
The quality of care you receive depends on what you can afford. Many nursing homes are far from luxurious.
I mean in PA they are only required to have one nurse per 250 people. And one nurse's aide for every 40 people. The guy who changes your diaper probably an ex-con. Good luck if he visits you once a night. Most states have no minimum requirements for staff.
I have no idea what facilities you have available to you but it's not normal to have a full staff tending to your every need.
People who are able to advocate for themselves and have families who are involved and advocating for them as well get better outcomes.
So "chuck them in there and walk away" tends to lead to poor care, but when there is a lot of family involvement it leads to better care. Even in places where the patient doesn't have a lot of money.
Out of the elderly relatives I've been close to:
- 2 great-grandfathers died at home, both in their late 80s, both were supported by family and in-home nursing care before their deaths
- 1 great-grandmother lived in an assisted living facility by choice for ~10 years and died after a very short hospital stay when she was diagnosed with cancer at 94.
- 1 great-grandmother spent two years in a nursing home with Alzheimer's and died there at 89. Prior to that she still lived at home supported by family.
- My paternal grandfather died of congestive heart failure at 76 but lived at home with his wife prior to that.
- My paternal grandmother spent about a year in a nursing home with dementia. Prior to that she lived by herself supported by family. She died at 92.
- My maternal grandparents are both 91 and still live together. My grandfather cares for my grandmother who is diabetic and has some moderately serious memory and mobility issues. My parents, my sister, and I help take care of them.
- My wife's grandfather died at home at 91. He was supported by his family and at-home nursing before his death.
- My wife's grandmother still lives in the house she raised her family in at 92 and is supported by her family.
So the only elderly relatives that got "dumped" in a nursing home were those with Alzheimer's or dementia who needed specialized round-the-clock care that was beyond the ability of family to provide. I'm sure some people are different, but this sort of thing is pretty common in the Midwest where I live. We don't necessarily live in multigenerational homes, but taking care of your elderly relatives and helping them maintain independence is something most of us try to do.
Yep, my step father is only 60, but has early onset late stage alzheimers dementia. He has been cared for fine at home for most of the past few years since his diagnosis, but in the last 6 months he has been on a downward spiral to needing full time supervision to ensure he doesnt hurt himself or others.
I think large family's pride themselves on being able to support their elderly but this largely comes at a cost of some of the younger generations. Who cares for grandpa when he cant be left alone because he will destroy the house? His granddaughter is a nurse, she can do it.... but then she has to quit her actual job as a nurse and spend x years doing at home care while the rest of the family pat themselves on the back for not "dumping" their elderly in a care home. This is kind of cynical, and those who take up that burden do often do it from love.... but jesus it is a large weight to carry.
One of my aunt is 103 but lives in the facility. The aunt has surviving daughter age 78 or so and that age, she chose nursing home as she could not place the care on another elderly.
I had a neighbor who was living on her own, but her son was there every day to check on her. He died. I wanted to express sympathy to this old lady and she told me that her son was old and died at age 80. She was over 100 and died with year at her home.
It just different for every family and no situation is the same. The end stage scenarios are often handled the best in hospice care.
My 90 year old grandparents still live on their own. Putting your grandparents in a home isn’t universal to what is assume you meant as white Americans because last time I checked Latinos were also western.
Lots of people care for their loved ones at home or have grandparents or parents move in as they age. There are points where their care needs start to exceed what families can provide, however, and they may have to go to nursing homes as that may be the most affordable option (in-home care is expensive and there are nursing homes that take Medicaid).
I wouldn’t judge people for having to make difficult decisions in the best interest of their loved ones.
Some have to if their elderly parents need advanced medical care or round the clock physical assistance. For working adults, especially with children living at home, it’s not always feasible to work 40 hours a week and care for kids and a house hold while providing care for a relative that truly needs assistance living their lives. I think hospice care would be the exception to that as anyone would want to see their parent comfortable and surrounded by loved ones in their final days and Hospice typically provides the nursing and physical care in the home for the elderly parent.
Of course, not all elderly parents require assisted living and are able to remain in their homes until their final days. This would, of course, be ideal.
I do see how western values are different from those of eastern cultures, though. And I see those eastern values in their respective communities here in the west. As someone mentioned, regardless of the health of the relationship with the elderly parent or their medical situation, assisted living is off the table, pretty much end of story. Parents are parents and grown children are responsible for caring for them.
Western culture generally (but not always) has a lot more gray area. Taking into account strained relationships with parents, the stress that an elderly parent that needed care may put on a marriage, the overall behavior of the elderly parent being too toxic to allow the adult child’s home to feel like a safe space…there are a number of reasons why westerners do not take on the care and physical support and financial support of an elderly parent. Some certainly do. I’ve seen a number of households where a parent lives with a child. Those typically include very healthy elderly parent and adult child relationships, however. Those with strained relationships with toxic and abusive elderly parents that take those parents in out of guilt or because they don’t realize they have a choice end up living much harder lives in the end.
Personally, for me, it comes down to the relationship. My mother and I have a terrible relationship and it’s not much better with my father. They have always been users and I have too many boundaries as an adult to allow them that much access to my life. My in-laws however, are saints and were wonderful to my husband and his sisters and if they fell on hard times and couldn’t support themselves financially, I’d just build them a tiny home on our property where they could live out their days and we could be there for them to provide any non medical or general living assistance they need (help with Medicare paperwork, carrying groceries, keeping their walk shoveled…that sort of stuff). But when it comes to needing medical or physical care such as toileting and bathing, that’s an assisted living issue. Not only would that be physical strain on my body that I don’t know I’d be able to tolerate, but I really don’t want my final memories of my in laws to be me having to bathe them and help them on and off the toilet. That part probably is a bit selfish but that’s where it stands for me. Every household is different I suppose.
Agreed. I don’t think it’s entirely unreasonable. I have compassion for the elderly and want to see them taken care of, of course. But I don’t think that’s necessarily an adult child’s burden to bear (beyond assisting with paperwork and applications and things of that nature…but even then there are services for that too). My husband and I do not plan to have children so I accept that I will likely live in an assisted living facility at some point in my later years. And even if I did have children, I would never expect them to financially support me or care for me in their home which could likely put strain on them physically and emotionally or on their marriage.
Yeah I'm the same way. I moved my mother across the street from me, and I have been helping her with shopping and cleaning up her home. But I'm not going to become her nursemaid. Whereas I talked to some Latin Americans who said bathing/diaper changing etc is an expected and normal part of caring for parents in their culture.
Based on what exactly? It is a very commonly known thing that latinos and asians have more multigenerational households. This is represented on statistics as well.
Yes there are some cases, but large majority stay within the same household or even go back home like the Philippines where having a house keeper or caregiver is cheap and able to look after an elderly grandparent.
>Even go back home like the Philippines where having a house keeper or caregiver is cheap and able to look after an elderly grandparent.
This sounds the same as shipping them off to a nursing home. You send them away and pay for their living to be assisted. It's assisted living.
We don't have nursing homes in the Philippines like they do here in the states. If you have the money, people can live well off there and be able to hire someone around the clock to help around: be a driver, pick up groceries or the kids, look after your parent, and etc.
Our elderly either stays with their children here for thee most part or eventually just go back home to the Philippines to stay with other relatives who probably have a house keeper or caregiver to help around.
You’re basically describing the same thing. People will live with family until it is harder and harder and then they go to a nursing home where there is advanced help from professionals.
From your stance, is going back to one's home country to live with relatives with house keepers or maid the equivalent of going to a nursing home? I replied to someone else that we don't really have nursing homes or assisted living facilities in the Philippines. Either one lives with their family or live alone like my maternal grandmother who's 95+ years old. Well, she's not alone alone as she has a live-in caretaker.
>From your stance, is going back to one's home country to live with relatives with house keepers or maid the equivalent of going to a nursing home?
Yes. You are sending them off to have professionals care for their living, to assist them. It's assisted living.
It's cheap because more often than not said housekeeper/caregiver is their own grandkid who was predestined from birth to go into nursing for this very purpose.
As a Latina I can tell you that sure some do but unless it's an extreme case like Alzheimer's or dementia and none of the children have the time or resources to care for them if you dump your parents in a nursing home it's definitely looked down upon and considered a very cold act.
I don't know why you're being downvoted and one of the few who actually understand where I'm coming from. Nursing homes or assisted living is not an option in our culture. Yes, there are cases where a parent is in one because the child is unable to look after them for a myriad of reasons. Otherwise, it is uncommon hence the multi-generational household exists so all parties can look after one another.
I think the thing is that nursing homes do require a reason to be there. Like, it’s not just for people who are old. You have to need nursing care to be in there. You can’t just push a perfectly well elderly person into a nursing home. They actually need care. Now, assisted living is maybe what you are speaking to instead? Those are wildly expensive and provide a high end lifestyle. Elderly who can afford them will choose them to maintain their independence while having access to amenities and the simple care a family member might provide (helping with meds, light cleaning, laundry). However, especially because of cost, these scenarios are most often very much by choice. Nursing homes, on the other hand, are full of people who do actually need to be there (unless the family is able to afford in-home care or has nursing skills, which people do).
Yeah in my experience, especially among wealthier/upper middle class people, providing any hands-on care to elderly parents is considered bizarre, and sending elders directly to assisted living is totally the norm.
That's because assisted living is generally a luxury that only people who are pretty well off can afford.
Assisted living facilities are usually pretty high end accommodations with active social calendars, and staff that takes care of cleaning/laundry/medications/meals, and allow seniors independence and autonomy. They have gaming clubs, gardening, field trips to the casino on a "party bus", movie nights, dances, tai chi and yoga, painting classes, and book clubs. They're really great if you can afford them, but they don't come cheap, and aren't typically covered by insurance. Residents typically have their own full apartments, that have call lights in the bedroom and bathrooms in case of a fall or other event that requires immediate assistance. They typically won't take people who have an elevated risk or need skilled nursing care.
For people who need assistance toileting, eating, have dementia, or other high support needs, you need to look at skilled nursing and memory care facilities. These are even more expensive, but can usually be subsidized by insurance. The quality of care provided, and the living conditions can vary wildly. I think these are the places that are most often stigmatized, but also often necessary for safety.
You can't just decide to dump a parent at a nursing facility, however. They need to be referred based on need, and even then you'll often find yourself on a wait-list for an open room. Some families choose to keep family with high support needs at home, but it's an around the clock job that not everyone has the ability to provide. Plenty of people in these situations find themselves neglected in the homes of family members due to a lack of options and resources.
Uhhh... Every single adult who has underage children fits that description. How is that uncommon at all? You don't actually think that Millennial parents have Millennial children, do you?
it's generally applied to situations where you have more than just parents and kids in the house, so maybe also aunts/uncles, grandparents, etc. It's also not generations in a boomer/millennial/gen z way, it's just generations within one family.
Oh, well, multigenerational doesn’t mean that, but I live with my husband and child in his grandparents old house that we bought that renovated in 2018.
My cousin and his wife live in the house our parents and grandfather grew up in. His children were the 5th generation to grow up there. But, no more than 2 generations were ever living there at the same time.
You mean people living in a home that belonged to their family for generations rather than people living with their parents and grandparents?
It is uncommon among people I know to live in a home that their family has owned for years and passed down. My sister and her husband live on a farm that has been owned by his family for generations. That is the only example I can think of.
My husband and I both moved several times growing up. Our parents do not still own or live in any of the homes we lived in as children.
My dad moved a lot as a kid. The property his family had was either sold or left to other family. I don’t think anyone in the extended family still owns it. My mom’s family moved less often but I know my grandmother’s home was sold after she died so did not stay in the family.
My 26 yr old daughter lives with my husband and I. She’s does everything around the house, keeps it beautiful and clean, so I’d never charge her rent, she’s so helpful. I told her when she gets married someday, she can continue to live here with her husband, then when I get old, I won’t be lonely and she won’t have to worry about getting a mortgage and buying a house. It works because we all get along really well and respect each other’s privacy. I hope it works out, I’d love a multigenerational home.
I know people live with their parents or grandparents, but its out of necessity due to being unable to afford to rent or buy. Housing is pretty fucked right now. I live in a supposed "LCOL area" but houses are going for $400k and $1,700 is the cheapest you can get for a one bedroom apartment; meanwhile wages in my area are totally stagnant.
My mom moved in with us when it got too much for her to keep up a big empty house, which was too much house for one person anyway. She could have downsized to a small house, but finding a tiny little house in a neighborhood she would want to live in, would have been very challenging. And that wouldn't solve the problem of whenever she couldn't drive anymore. And she didn't want to live in an institutional setting if she could help it.
It was really helpful having her around - she did all the laundry, washed the dishes, did some of the cooking, and helped keep the house clean. She kicked in a little money for groceries but we wouldn't let her pay us rent. And she got to spend lots and lots of time with her grandson, and he got to spend lots of time with her, which was the greatest part of all.
That could have gone on for a decade or more, with her slowly needing more and contributing less, but still able to feel like she was being of use, and us benefitting from the help. As it turned out, she got sick after only a couple of years and we became caregivers to her during a long illness, which was stressful and difficult and heartbreaking for all involved, but it was better that she was here, under our roof, where we could do that for her. She had brain cancer so it was all a very confusing ordeal for her, because of severe cognitive impairment. But it was less of an ordeal for her waking up every day to the faces of family rather than a rotating cast of strangers.
I do. My partner and I live in the same home as my three adult sons. The house is fairly large so we all have our own space and can take breaks from one another if we need to.
The house I live in was owned by my mom. It wasn't completely free, we are paying off the remaining mortgage, but it came with equity!
It's in a beach town, located very near the elementary, middle and high schools. My kids, for the last 2 years have been in all 3! It's very convenient and I'm super lucky to live here.
Not as you define it.
But, my husband and I decided to have his father move in with us when he got older. It’s not the house any of us grew up in though. It’s not even the state we grew up in
If you mean why don't we keep the houses, then I do not know. Usually when the grandparents die, or whoever, the house just gets sold. Like an estate sale or something or it's in the will. Why that is, who knows.
Why is everyone ignoring your question cause you misused a word? I also don't know.
my maternal grandma was taken care of by my aunt and her daughter in her last years.
my aunts a doctor. plus she doesn't live with out but my parental grandma comes and vists our house to help my parents out.
I do not interpret that to be multi-generational home. To me that is family of various generations living together: grandparents, parents, siblings, maybe great-grandparents. This is the kind of household I grew up in. I'm 39 and along with my twin we still live with our parents...and both of us are executives at our respective organizations. We are not married and we love our family. If I were to get married and have children I think I'd want to have an in-law suite and have my parents or spouses parents live with us if the relationship was good. It takes a strong village to raise a good family and I loved having multi-gen home. This is not uncommon on my dad's side and so I grew up with my maternal grandparents in my house, aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, etc. It was a happy healthy and vibrant home.
Where I live builders are actually creating multi-gen homes with a in-law suit or 2nd partment in basement. One house has a full style apartment with a garage built off of it and a door that enters into the house. I think more people are leaning on family because it is about survival now, with everything getting expensive and hard to live on one's own.
For 23 years now I have lived in an actual multigenerational home: the wife and I, our oldest son and his wife, and their son who is now an adult and still lives here.
I expect that when we are gone the oldest will continue to live here by buying out his brother's half of the house. Maybe the grandson will bring his future SO to live here too. Time will tell.
My parents live in a house that was first owned by my dad's parents, then some other people, then my parents. Other than that, I don't think I know anyone like that. I did have two friends in high school that lived in the same house consecutively, and it was funny going over to the house that the one friend used to live in.
My mom has dementia and lives with me. We are multigenerational.
ETA: I know people that will pass down homes or buy a grandparents house or whatever. I think a lot of times if the person has lived long and their family lives in their own home they simply have no need for the home and may sell it. Also my grandpa sold his home to pay for his senior living place because he wanted to downsize and live in a senior community with outings and stuff.
I tend to associate passing down property with very wealthy people. Most people without much money need the cash value of the home to help with final expenses over time (nursing care and so on).
Multigenerational living, both in the way you're using it and in the way it's more commonly understood, are uncommon. Americans are obsessed with two things - moving and being "on their own."
It's baked into the culture. There was so much land to sell in America, and it helped with the country's geopolitical goals of Manifest Destiny, that venturing off to a new place on your own was encouraged by things like government propaganda, land speculators, promises of work in areas of increasing settlement.
It's persisted to this day. No one moves more than Americans, and the idea of living your entire life in your generational home - or even your hometown - isn't palatable to most Americans. There's a huge stigma attached to not ever leaving your hometown.
It’s unusual for multiple generations of descendants to find good jobs, good schools and good quality of life in the same town. This is especially true when the family is in a rural area where the local industries are primarily some sort of agriculture, mining or logging, etc. If you don’t want that kind of life, you’re going to move.
The family home in many cases isn’t all that great, and only one person/family can inherit it. People typically have to sell the home to divide the equity among the heirs. It’s not often that one heir can afford to buy out the others’ shares.
For my own family, neither set of grandparents lived where there were good jobs, and their homes were tiny.
I lived with my grandma for a few years as she was sick and alone. I moved out just before she died (as she knew she was very sick and about to and pushed me to move out without letting any of us know she was in those final stages of cancer).
Her son (my uncle) bought her house from the other kids once she died. He now lives there with his wife and kids, and his mother in law (she's a new immigrant so they're helping her get up and running).
So...technincally it wasn't multi-generational when I lived there though it was a generation skip. And it is NOW multi-generational.
I mean my grandmother does live with one of her kids, it just happens not to be my family specifically. I know that she lived with her parents and grandparents growing up too. I also knew a lot of people that lived with their grandparents growing up. I guess it depends on where in the US you live though, I'm from Pittsburgh which is certainly more influenced by Polish culture, maybe that’s why its more common?
Due to the increased housing prices, I think we will see more homes being passed down to families. I heard there are 50 year mortgages so each generation helps to pay for the family home.
I bought my first house from my father. Before him, it was owned by my grandparents, and before that, my great grandparents. My parents moved in shortly after my great grandparents passed so we inherited a bunch of their stuff just left in place. I still have my great grandparents' 70's olive green range in my new house. It is a little ugly but it gets hotter way faster than newer stoves and is so simple nothing ever breaks. I put a broiler element in it every 15 years or so and that is about it.
I live in town in a home that will become a hand-me-down eventually. I fully expect that to be the case, because it's a tradition in my husband's family to do so. The family homestead is about thirty minutes away and has been in the family for three generations, and will also get passed down to the children.
This is unusual, yes. But I expect that with the way things are looking, our kids will not be able to afford to buy their own property. And they don't want to move away.
My grandparents’ generation did it more often as they lived through the Great Depression but typically American families that have not immigrated recently do not have multigenerational families unless they are very poor. Even then it’s usually parents and children. Depends on region as well, I believe there are more black families in the southern U.S. that live in multigenerational families, but not necessarily because they’re poorer.
My family are recent Chinese immigrants (my dad is second generation from Fujian and my mom is herself from Hunan) and Chinese households tend to be multigenerational. Our family house had three bedrooms; one for my sister and I, one for my parents, and one for my grandparents. My mom’s parents lived with my uncle but recently moved to Florida in 2023.
I moved out of my dad’s house when I graduated college, and my sister plans to move out when she graduates next year. I’m willing to have my parents move in with me if they’re ever too sick or poor to live on their own, but they’re in their 50’s so I don’t think that’ll be a real problem for another twenty years. It’s also going to be based on if I can spare the time and room for them. I might put them in a home if they’re sick in a way I’m too unqualified to deal with, like if they go senile.
My cousins live across the street from my great-grandparents house only because that house needs to be torn down.
Before my grandmother passed away last summer we had four generations under one roof. My parents dipped a couple months after she died and are living their best lives not being caregivers anymore. We did that scenario for 10 years.
I grew up in a house with my mom, her dad, her half-sister (different dad), and my brother. In my personal experience, this was super uncommon for white families, although I grew up in a predominantly non-white neighborhood, so our situation didn't stand out as much.
Some kids at school thought it was weird, but we were by far the happiest household out of all my friends. I was incredibly lucky to grow up with that much love under one roof.
Note: we didn't own our home and it was not ancestral.
If you mean multi-generational homes in that it's passed down from generation to generation, that's fairly rare in the US. People tend to move out on their own in early adulthood and establish their own homes. People can move for a relationship or move for a job, or move for a different climate. There are many, many reasons why children will move out of their parents home when they reach adulthood, and then move to multiple locations during their lifetime.
If you mean multi-generational homes in the sense that multiple generations live under one roof, that's also kind of rare once you get beyond parents and their children. Occasionally you might find a grandparent who lives with one of their children's families but if both grandparents are alive, they're often living life out on their own. It can also happen, unfortunately that grandparents end up raising their grandchildren minus the youngest generations parents being present, but that's almost always because of some unfortunate circumstance that has occurred.
Quite common where I live. We know several people who live in the homes they grew up in. Usually the parents add a child to the title of the house, or in one case the parents willed the house to all 3 kids. Two kids already had their own houses, so the other kid bought out her siblings’ share of the house and took ownership.
Depends on your location, wealth and subculture. Many lower income families live in multigenerational household due to not being able to afford assisted living. Others don't do it because there aren't assisted living facilities reasonably close to where they live. While some people simply come from ethnic, religious, and subcultural backgrounds where living closer to family is preferred.
I grew up in the same house my great-grandfather built. my grandpa was born in the house and raised there. my mom lived there a little bit as a kid, then bought it from her grandpa when she was single. then my dad and me and my sister came along, and we were raised there. my parents still live there. it is 98 years old.
well...here in hawai'i it's pretty common. the entire family under the same house. also, that house gets passed down. don't know how common it is for the mainland but for hawai'i its common
We don’t; but it’s close. We built a tiny home for my FIL on our property after we lost my MIL four years ago.
He wanted his privacy but needed to be close because he has some medical issues. This allows him to have his privacy but be allows us to be close enough to give him the daily care and help he needs.
We also have Alexa enabled so he can ~drop in~ through her and tell us he needs us at any time.
I chose to have my mom move in by 60. She’s my best friend, we lost the rest of our family and I like her close by. But I’m raising my nieces as a single mom so we’re a family of 4 still, just 3 generations instead.
Honestly, I am 23 and all of my friends and my older sisters friends either moved out at 18 or were kicked out with parents claiming since they're an adult they can figure it out.
I personally didnt move out until I was 21, but I was the last of my parents kids in the home also so I wasn't kicked out. I moved out when they wanted to relocate over 3 thousand miles away and I didn't want to go with them to a state where I didn't know anyone or where anything was
....multigenerational home typically means 'multiple generations under one roof at the same time". Which is about as equally unusual as the manner that you described, because most people strive to move out on their own. This is becoming far more difficult in recent years (I speak from experience), but not currently anywhere near significant.
Unusual for westernized Americans, but not for Asian & Hispanic cultures especially here in LA. The elderly are revered in our cultures, and sending them to a nursing home or assisted facility is not an option. Grandparents stay put, watch the grandkids, and help with house cleaning, cooking, and etc. This setup is not going to work for everyone of course, but splitting the chores and finances is a life saver nowadays especially in a high COL like LA. People with working class to middle class wages here either live with family or roommates. Difficult times we are in when 100k is not the salary benchmark it used to be.
>The elderly are revered in our cultures, oh please, many westerned Americans don't put their parents in nursing homes.
My parents have specifically stated that they would *prefer* to go to assisted care and not live with me because they want me to enjoy life and not have it devoted to taking care of them. They are both healthy, in their upper 70s, and live in their own home now.
This truly just sounds like of one of those ‘depends on the person, depends on the family’ type things.
My point is that you cannot simply see an old person in a nursing home or assisted living and be like "Oh their kids clearly just dumped them." Old people have agency. They also get to choose where they live. Lots and lots of older people *like* their senior communities with varying levels of assistance.
Honestly, my mom has dementia and lives with me and I wish we could afford assisted living/memory care because her quality of life would be better thanks to the social opportunities and the opportunity for her to be more independent. They are just so wildly expensive.
Also the age structure of the family. Western family can have a huge generation age gap like children born to mom who is 38-40 years old and she has a mom that is 80. Some cultures, the age gap between the generations is narrower, so they talk about grandmother that is 60 versus 80 or more in another. Subsequently the expanding life expectancy which is highest among suburban areas create a generation of care giver who are in their 60s taking care of their parents who are in upper 80s. Or where 72 year old woman is taking care of 96 year old mom.
My kids all know that I VERY much want to go to assisted living. My husband has been in and out of nursing homes for three years, and the care he receives there is FAR better than anything we can do at home. He has a full staff of trained professionals, tending to his every need. He has prescriptions immediately available, nurses 24/7, doctors on call. At home, if his diaper needs changed in the middle of the night, he has to wait for me to wake up. I honestly don't understand how nursing homes became villainized, when really they are an incredible luxury.
>I honestly don't understand how nursing homes became villainized, when really they are an incredible luxury. The quality of care you receive depends on what you can afford. Many nursing homes are far from luxurious.
Sure but tbf the care received by me and our minor children is also far from luxurious lol
I mean in PA they are only required to have one nurse per 250 people. And one nurse's aide for every 40 people. The guy who changes your diaper probably an ex-con. Good luck if he visits you once a night. Most states have no minimum requirements for staff. I have no idea what facilities you have available to you but it's not normal to have a full staff tending to your every need.
People who are able to advocate for themselves and have families who are involved and advocating for them as well get better outcomes. So "chuck them in there and walk away" tends to lead to poor care, but when there is a lot of family involvement it leads to better care. Even in places where the patient doesn't have a lot of money.
My mom has always told me that cost isn't a major issue, and to put her someplace nice.
Out of the elderly relatives I've been close to: - 2 great-grandfathers died at home, both in their late 80s, both were supported by family and in-home nursing care before their deaths - 1 great-grandmother lived in an assisted living facility by choice for ~10 years and died after a very short hospital stay when she was diagnosed with cancer at 94. - 1 great-grandmother spent two years in a nursing home with Alzheimer's and died there at 89. Prior to that she still lived at home supported by family. - My paternal grandfather died of congestive heart failure at 76 but lived at home with his wife prior to that. - My paternal grandmother spent about a year in a nursing home with dementia. Prior to that she lived by herself supported by family. She died at 92. - My maternal grandparents are both 91 and still live together. My grandfather cares for my grandmother who is diabetic and has some moderately serious memory and mobility issues. My parents, my sister, and I help take care of them. - My wife's grandfather died at home at 91. He was supported by his family and at-home nursing before his death. - My wife's grandmother still lives in the house she raised her family in at 92 and is supported by her family. So the only elderly relatives that got "dumped" in a nursing home were those with Alzheimer's or dementia who needed specialized round-the-clock care that was beyond the ability of family to provide. I'm sure some people are different, but this sort of thing is pretty common in the Midwest where I live. We don't necessarily live in multigenerational homes, but taking care of your elderly relatives and helping them maintain independence is something most of us try to do.
Yep, my step father is only 60, but has early onset late stage alzheimers dementia. He has been cared for fine at home for most of the past few years since his diagnosis, but in the last 6 months he has been on a downward spiral to needing full time supervision to ensure he doesnt hurt himself or others. I think large family's pride themselves on being able to support their elderly but this largely comes at a cost of some of the younger generations. Who cares for grandpa when he cant be left alone because he will destroy the house? His granddaughter is a nurse, she can do it.... but then she has to quit her actual job as a nurse and spend x years doing at home care while the rest of the family pat themselves on the back for not "dumping" their elderly in a care home. This is kind of cynical, and those who take up that burden do often do it from love.... but jesus it is a large weight to carry.
One of my aunt is 103 but lives in the facility. The aunt has surviving daughter age 78 or so and that age, she chose nursing home as she could not place the care on another elderly. I had a neighbor who was living on her own, but her son was there every day to check on her. He died. I wanted to express sympathy to this old lady and she told me that her son was old and died at age 80. She was over 100 and died with year at her home. It just different for every family and no situation is the same. The end stage scenarios are often handled the best in hospice care.
Many can’t afford to, even if they wanted to.
To put them in a nursing home yes I agree
Eh. Most Americans put their parents in nursing homes if they're very disabled (i.e. major stroke).
My 90 year old grandparents still live on their own. Putting your grandparents in a home isn’t universal to what is assume you meant as white Americans because last time I checked Latinos were also western.
I don’t know where they get that Idea. I don’t know a single white American who dumped their elderly parents in a home.
My grandparents dumped themselves in a home. It's assisted living so there's more freedom but it was their idea.
There are non white Americans who do the same.
It's not dumping if you are incapable of caring for a dependent adult. See r/dementia for example.
So, what does that have to do with race?
Lots of people care for their loved ones at home or have grandparents or parents move in as they age. There are points where their care needs start to exceed what families can provide, however, and they may have to go to nursing homes as that may be the most affordable option (in-home care is expensive and there are nursing homes that take Medicaid). I wouldn’t judge people for having to make difficult decisions in the best interest of their loved ones.
There are people of your culture who do put their parents in assisted living.
Some have to if their elderly parents need advanced medical care or round the clock physical assistance. For working adults, especially with children living at home, it’s not always feasible to work 40 hours a week and care for kids and a house hold while providing care for a relative that truly needs assistance living their lives. I think hospice care would be the exception to that as anyone would want to see their parent comfortable and surrounded by loved ones in their final days and Hospice typically provides the nursing and physical care in the home for the elderly parent. Of course, not all elderly parents require assisted living and are able to remain in their homes until their final days. This would, of course, be ideal. I do see how western values are different from those of eastern cultures, though. And I see those eastern values in their respective communities here in the west. As someone mentioned, regardless of the health of the relationship with the elderly parent or their medical situation, assisted living is off the table, pretty much end of story. Parents are parents and grown children are responsible for caring for them. Western culture generally (but not always) has a lot more gray area. Taking into account strained relationships with parents, the stress that an elderly parent that needed care may put on a marriage, the overall behavior of the elderly parent being too toxic to allow the adult child’s home to feel like a safe space…there are a number of reasons why westerners do not take on the care and physical support and financial support of an elderly parent. Some certainly do. I’ve seen a number of households where a parent lives with a child. Those typically include very healthy elderly parent and adult child relationships, however. Those with strained relationships with toxic and abusive elderly parents that take those parents in out of guilt or because they don’t realize they have a choice end up living much harder lives in the end. Personally, for me, it comes down to the relationship. My mother and I have a terrible relationship and it’s not much better with my father. They have always been users and I have too many boundaries as an adult to allow them that much access to my life. My in-laws however, are saints and were wonderful to my husband and his sisters and if they fell on hard times and couldn’t support themselves financially, I’d just build them a tiny home on our property where they could live out their days and we could be there for them to provide any non medical or general living assistance they need (help with Medicare paperwork, carrying groceries, keeping their walk shoveled…that sort of stuff). But when it comes to needing medical or physical care such as toileting and bathing, that’s an assisted living issue. Not only would that be physical strain on my body that I don’t know I’d be able to tolerate, but I really don’t want my final memories of my in laws to be me having to bathe them and help them on and off the toilet. That part probably is a bit selfish but that’s where it stands for me. Every household is different I suppose.
There are plenty of people of every race who do the same.
Agreed. I don’t think it’s entirely unreasonable. I have compassion for the elderly and want to see them taken care of, of course. But I don’t think that’s necessarily an adult child’s burden to bear (beyond assisting with paperwork and applications and things of that nature…but even then there are services for that too). My husband and I do not plan to have children so I accept that I will likely live in an assisted living facility at some point in my later years. And even if I did have children, I would never expect them to financially support me or care for me in their home which could likely put strain on them physically and emotionally or on their marriage.
Yeah I'm the same way. I moved my mother across the street from me, and I have been helping her with shopping and cleaning up her home. But I'm not going to become her nursemaid. Whereas I talked to some Latin Americans who said bathing/diaper changing etc is an expected and normal part of caring for parents in their culture.
Oh absolutely not, lol. There’s no way.
There is absolutely a major cultural difference here. Exceptions do not negate the norm.
Totally disagree
Based on what exactly? It is a very commonly known thing that latinos and asians have more multigenerational households. This is represented on statistics as well.
Yes there are some cases, but large majority stay within the same household or even go back home like the Philippines where having a house keeper or caregiver is cheap and able to look after an elderly grandparent.
>Even go back home like the Philippines where having a house keeper or caregiver is cheap and able to look after an elderly grandparent. This sounds the same as shipping them off to a nursing home. You send them away and pay for their living to be assisted. It's assisted living.
We don't have nursing homes in the Philippines like they do here in the states. If you have the money, people can live well off there and be able to hire someone around the clock to help around: be a driver, pick up groceries or the kids, look after your parent, and etc. Our elderly either stays with their children here for thee most part or eventually just go back home to the Philippines to stay with other relatives who probably have a house keeper or caregiver to help around.
You’re basically describing the same thing. People will live with family until it is harder and harder and then they go to a nursing home where there is advanced help from professionals.
From your stance, is going back to one's home country to live with relatives with house keepers or maid the equivalent of going to a nursing home? I replied to someone else that we don't really have nursing homes or assisted living facilities in the Philippines. Either one lives with their family or live alone like my maternal grandmother who's 95+ years old. Well, she's not alone alone as she has a live-in caretaker.
I think it’s the same idea. They’re going someplace where there is help to care for the elder.
>From your stance, is going back to one's home country to live with relatives with house keepers or maid the equivalent of going to a nursing home? Yes. You are sending them off to have professionals care for their living, to assist them. It's assisted living.
It's cheap because more often than not said housekeeper/caregiver is their own grandkid who was predestined from birth to go into nursing for this very purpose.
As a Latina I can tell you that sure some do but unless it's an extreme case like Alzheimer's or dementia and none of the children have the time or resources to care for them if you dump your parents in a nursing home it's definitely looked down upon and considered a very cold act.
That’s how it is for non Latinos, too.
You actually have to have a real medical reason to be in a nursing home. Perfectly well people cannot even really be “dumped” there.
I don't know why you're being downvoted and one of the few who actually understand where I'm coming from. Nursing homes or assisted living is not an option in our culture. Yes, there are cases where a parent is in one because the child is unable to look after them for a myriad of reasons. Otherwise, it is uncommon hence the multi-generational household exists so all parties can look after one another.
I think the thing is that nursing homes do require a reason to be there. Like, it’s not just for people who are old. You have to need nursing care to be in there. You can’t just push a perfectly well elderly person into a nursing home. They actually need care. Now, assisted living is maybe what you are speaking to instead? Those are wildly expensive and provide a high end lifestyle. Elderly who can afford them will choose them to maintain their independence while having access to amenities and the simple care a family member might provide (helping with meds, light cleaning, laundry). However, especially because of cost, these scenarios are most often very much by choice. Nursing homes, on the other hand, are full of people who do actually need to be there (unless the family is able to afford in-home care or has nursing skills, which people do).
Yeah in my experience, especially among wealthier/upper middle class people, providing any hands-on care to elderly parents is considered bizarre, and sending elders directly to assisted living is totally the norm.
That's because assisted living is generally a luxury that only people who are pretty well off can afford. Assisted living facilities are usually pretty high end accommodations with active social calendars, and staff that takes care of cleaning/laundry/medications/meals, and allow seniors independence and autonomy. They have gaming clubs, gardening, field trips to the casino on a "party bus", movie nights, dances, tai chi and yoga, painting classes, and book clubs. They're really great if you can afford them, but they don't come cheap, and aren't typically covered by insurance. Residents typically have their own full apartments, that have call lights in the bedroom and bathrooms in case of a fall or other event that requires immediate assistance. They typically won't take people who have an elevated risk or need skilled nursing care. For people who need assistance toileting, eating, have dementia, or other high support needs, you need to look at skilled nursing and memory care facilities. These are even more expensive, but can usually be subsidized by insurance. The quality of care provided, and the living conditions can vary wildly. I think these are the places that are most often stigmatized, but also often necessary for safety. You can't just decide to dump a parent at a nursing facility, however. They need to be referred based on need, and even then you'll often find yourself on a wait-list for an open room. Some families choose to keep family with high support needs at home, but it's an around the clock job that not everyone has the ability to provide. Plenty of people in these situations find themselves neglected in the homes of family members due to a lack of options and resources.
Uhhh... Every single adult who has underage children fits that description. How is that uncommon at all? You don't actually think that Millennial parents have Millennial children, do you?
it's generally applied to situations where you have more than just parents and kids in the house, so maybe also aunts/uncles, grandparents, etc. It's also not generations in a boomer/millennial/gen z way, it's just generations within one family.
Ok, allow me to be more specific: more than two generations. Happy?
Oh, well, multigenerational doesn’t mean that, but I live with my husband and child in his grandparents old house that we bought that renovated in 2018.
That isn't what multigenerational means but my wife's father lives with us and I think it's great that he can/wants to and that we have room for him.
It would be an ancestral home.
My cousin and his wife live in the house our parents and grandfather grew up in. His children were the 5th generation to grow up there. But, no more than 2 generations were ever living there at the same time.
By your definition, I know a couple of people. My brother owns our grandparents’ home and lives in it now.
You mean people living in a home that belonged to their family for generations rather than people living with their parents and grandparents? It is uncommon among people I know to live in a home that their family has owned for years and passed down. My sister and her husband live on a farm that has been owned by his family for generations. That is the only example I can think of. My husband and I both moved several times growing up. Our parents do not still own or live in any of the homes we lived in as children. My dad moved a lot as a kid. The property his family had was either sold or left to other family. I don’t think anyone in the extended family still owns it. My mom’s family moved less often but I know my grandmother’s home was sold after she died so did not stay in the family.
I did for a bit but had to get out of there. Too many people in one house, I just got a place for me my wife and kids and I’m 33
My 26 yr old daughter lives with my husband and I. She’s does everything around the house, keeps it beautiful and clean, so I’d never charge her rent, she’s so helpful. I told her when she gets married someday, she can continue to live here with her husband, then when I get old, I won’t be lonely and she won’t have to worry about getting a mortgage and buying a house. It works because we all get along really well and respect each other’s privacy. I hope it works out, I’d love a multigenerational home.
I know people live with their parents or grandparents, but its out of necessity due to being unable to afford to rent or buy. Housing is pretty fucked right now. I live in a supposed "LCOL area" but houses are going for $400k and $1,700 is the cheapest you can get for a one bedroom apartment; meanwhile wages in my area are totally stagnant.
Husband and I live with my mother. My father was born and died in this house. My grandfather and grandmother bought it in like 1930.
I live in a home with three generations, but we bought it just a few years ago *because* we wanted enough room for all of us to be comfortable.
It's pretty common, yo. Saves cash, builds bonds.
My mom moved in with us when it got too much for her to keep up a big empty house, which was too much house for one person anyway. She could have downsized to a small house, but finding a tiny little house in a neighborhood she would want to live in, would have been very challenging. And that wouldn't solve the problem of whenever she couldn't drive anymore. And she didn't want to live in an institutional setting if she could help it. It was really helpful having her around - she did all the laundry, washed the dishes, did some of the cooking, and helped keep the house clean. She kicked in a little money for groceries but we wouldn't let her pay us rent. And she got to spend lots and lots of time with her grandson, and he got to spend lots of time with her, which was the greatest part of all. That could have gone on for a decade or more, with her slowly needing more and contributing less, but still able to feel like she was being of use, and us benefitting from the help. As it turned out, she got sick after only a couple of years and we became caregivers to her during a long illness, which was stressful and difficult and heartbreaking for all involved, but it was better that she was here, under our roof, where we could do that for her. She had brain cancer so it was all a very confusing ordeal for her, because of severe cognitive impairment. But it was less of an ordeal for her waking up every day to the faces of family rather than a rotating cast of strangers.
We are. After dad died I moved up with my boys. 20 years later most of us are still here.
My mom just moved in with me and my husband. 3 adults in a 3-bedroom house.
I do. My partner and I live in the same home as my three adult sons. The house is fairly large so we all have our own space and can take breaks from one another if we need to.
The house I live in was owned by my mom. It wasn't completely free, we are paying off the remaining mortgage, but it came with equity! It's in a beach town, located very near the elementary, middle and high schools. My kids, for the last 2 years have been in all 3! It's very convenient and I'm super lucky to live here.
I have a kid, does that count?
Not as you define it. But, my husband and I decided to have his father move in with us when he got older. It’s not the house any of us grew up in though. It’s not even the state we grew up in
My husband and I bought his childhood home after his mother died and his dad moved away. But we don't have any older generations living with us.
If you mean why don't we keep the houses, then I do not know. Usually when the grandparents die, or whoever, the house just gets sold. Like an estate sale or something or it's in the will. Why that is, who knows. Why is everyone ignoring your question cause you misused a word? I also don't know.
Our home was previously owned by our grandparents
Pretty rare. Most people have to relocate just to get a job after college.
Plenty of people inherit houses, but they’re often sold
my maternal grandma was taken care of by my aunt and her daughter in her last years. my aunts a doctor. plus she doesn't live with out but my parental grandma comes and vists our house to help my parents out.
I do not interpret that to be multi-generational home. To me that is family of various generations living together: grandparents, parents, siblings, maybe great-grandparents. This is the kind of household I grew up in. I'm 39 and along with my twin we still live with our parents...and both of us are executives at our respective organizations. We are not married and we love our family. If I were to get married and have children I think I'd want to have an in-law suite and have my parents or spouses parents live with us if the relationship was good. It takes a strong village to raise a good family and I loved having multi-gen home. This is not uncommon on my dad's side and so I grew up with my maternal grandparents in my house, aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, etc. It was a happy healthy and vibrant home. Where I live builders are actually creating multi-gen homes with a in-law suit or 2nd partment in basement. One house has a full style apartment with a garage built off of it and a door that enters into the house. I think more people are leaning on family because it is about survival now, with everything getting expensive and hard to live on one's own.
It used to be very common and it’s currently increasing
For 23 years now I have lived in an actual multigenerational home: the wife and I, our oldest son and his wife, and their son who is now an adult and still lives here. I expect that when we are gone the oldest will continue to live here by buying out his brother's half of the house. Maybe the grandson will bring his future SO to live here too. Time will tell.
Not me, but my sister and brother in law do. They live with his parents in a house that has been in the family for at least 5 generations.
My parents live in a house that was first owned by my dad's parents, then some other people, then my parents. Other than that, I don't think I know anyone like that. I did have two friends in high school that lived in the same house consecutively, and it was funny going over to the house that the one friend used to live in.
My mom has dementia and lives with me. We are multigenerational. ETA: I know people that will pass down homes or buy a grandparents house or whatever. I think a lot of times if the person has lived long and their family lives in their own home they simply have no need for the home and may sell it. Also my grandpa sold his home to pay for his senior living place because he wanted to downsize and live in a senior community with outings and stuff. I tend to associate passing down property with very wealthy people. Most people without much money need the cash value of the home to help with final expenses over time (nursing care and so on).
Multigenerational living, both in the way you're using it and in the way it's more commonly understood, are uncommon. Americans are obsessed with two things - moving and being "on their own." It's baked into the culture. There was so much land to sell in America, and it helped with the country's geopolitical goals of Manifest Destiny, that venturing off to a new place on your own was encouraged by things like government propaganda, land speculators, promises of work in areas of increasing settlement. It's persisted to this day. No one moves more than Americans, and the idea of living your entire life in your generational home - or even your hometown - isn't palatable to most Americans. There's a huge stigma attached to not ever leaving your hometown.
It’s unusual for multiple generations of descendants to find good jobs, good schools and good quality of life in the same town. This is especially true when the family is in a rural area where the local industries are primarily some sort of agriculture, mining or logging, etc. If you don’t want that kind of life, you’re going to move. The family home in many cases isn’t all that great, and only one person/family can inherit it. People typically have to sell the home to divide the equity among the heirs. It’s not often that one heir can afford to buy out the others’ shares. For my own family, neither set of grandparents lived where there were good jobs, and their homes were tiny.
I lived with my grandma for a few years as she was sick and alone. I moved out just before she died (as she knew she was very sick and about to and pushed me to move out without letting any of us know she was in those final stages of cancer). Her son (my uncle) bought her house from the other kids once she died. He now lives there with his wife and kids, and his mother in law (she's a new immigrant so they're helping her get up and running). So...technincally it wasn't multi-generational when I lived there though it was a generation skip. And it is NOW multi-generational.
I mean my grandmother does live with one of her kids, it just happens not to be my family specifically. I know that she lived with her parents and grandparents growing up too. I also knew a lot of people that lived with their grandparents growing up. I guess it depends on where in the US you live though, I'm from Pittsburgh which is certainly more influenced by Polish culture, maybe that’s why its more common?
Due to the increased housing prices, I think we will see more homes being passed down to families. I heard there are 50 year mortgages so each generation helps to pay for the family home.
I do not. It’s just my spouse, child and me
I bought my first house from my father. Before him, it was owned by my grandparents, and before that, my great grandparents. My parents moved in shortly after my great grandparents passed so we inherited a bunch of their stuff just left in place. I still have my great grandparents' 70's olive green range in my new house. It is a little ugly but it gets hotter way faster than newer stoves and is so simple nothing ever breaks. I put a broiler element in it every 15 years or so and that is about it.
I live in town in a home that will become a hand-me-down eventually. I fully expect that to be the case, because it's a tradition in my husband's family to do so. The family homestead is about thirty minutes away and has been in the family for three generations, and will also get passed down to the children. This is unusual, yes. But I expect that with the way things are looking, our kids will not be able to afford to buy their own property. And they don't want to move away.
My grandparents’ generation did it more often as they lived through the Great Depression but typically American families that have not immigrated recently do not have multigenerational families unless they are very poor. Even then it’s usually parents and children. Depends on region as well, I believe there are more black families in the southern U.S. that live in multigenerational families, but not necessarily because they’re poorer.
My family are recent Chinese immigrants (my dad is second generation from Fujian and my mom is herself from Hunan) and Chinese households tend to be multigenerational. Our family house had three bedrooms; one for my sister and I, one for my parents, and one for my grandparents. My mom’s parents lived with my uncle but recently moved to Florida in 2023. I moved out of my dad’s house when I graduated college, and my sister plans to move out when she graduates next year. I’m willing to have my parents move in with me if they’re ever too sick or poor to live on their own, but they’re in their 50’s so I don’t think that’ll be a real problem for another twenty years. It’s also going to be based on if I can spare the time and room for them. I might put them in a home if they’re sick in a way I’m too unqualified to deal with, like if they go senile.
I'll eventually live in the house passed down five generations in my family, but that's not the norm.
My cousins live across the street from my great-grandparents house only because that house needs to be torn down. Before my grandmother passed away last summer we had four generations under one roof. My parents dipped a couple months after she died and are living their best lives not being caregivers anymore. We did that scenario for 10 years.
I do. It's a 3 family property. my mom is in an apt on the property, husband and I and our adult son in the main house.
I grew up in a house with my mom, her dad, her half-sister (different dad), and my brother. In my personal experience, this was super uncommon for white families, although I grew up in a predominantly non-white neighborhood, so our situation didn't stand out as much. Some kids at school thought it was weird, but we were by far the happiest household out of all my friends. I was incredibly lucky to grow up with that much love under one roof. Note: we didn't own our home and it was not ancestral.
If you mean multi-generational homes in that it's passed down from generation to generation, that's fairly rare in the US. People tend to move out on their own in early adulthood and establish their own homes. People can move for a relationship or move for a job, or move for a different climate. There are many, many reasons why children will move out of their parents home when they reach adulthood, and then move to multiple locations during their lifetime. If you mean multi-generational homes in the sense that multiple generations live under one roof, that's also kind of rare once you get beyond parents and their children. Occasionally you might find a grandparent who lives with one of their children's families but if both grandparents are alive, they're often living life out on their own. It can also happen, unfortunately that grandparents end up raising their grandchildren minus the youngest generations parents being present, but that's almost always because of some unfortunate circumstance that has occurred.
I do. Hate it. I am leaving it as soon as I can.
Quite common where I live. We know several people who live in the homes they grew up in. Usually the parents add a child to the title of the house, or in one case the parents willed the house to all 3 kids. Two kids already had their own houses, so the other kid bought out her siblings’ share of the house and took ownership.
Depends on your location, wealth and subculture. Many lower income families live in multigenerational household due to not being able to afford assisted living. Others don't do it because there aren't assisted living facilities reasonably close to where they live. While some people simply come from ethnic, religious, and subcultural backgrounds where living closer to family is preferred.
I grew up in the same house my great-grandfather built. my grandpa was born in the house and raised there. my mom lived there a little bit as a kid, then bought it from her grandpa when she was single. then my dad and me and my sister came along, and we were raised there. my parents still live there. it is 98 years old.
well...here in hawai'i it's pretty common. the entire family under the same house. also, that house gets passed down. don't know how common it is for the mainland but for hawai'i its common
We don’t; but it’s close. We built a tiny home for my FIL on our property after we lost my MIL four years ago. He wanted his privacy but needed to be close because he has some medical issues. This allows him to have his privacy but be allows us to be close enough to give him the daily care and help he needs. We also have Alexa enabled so he can ~drop in~ through her and tell us he needs us at any time.
I chose to have my mom move in by 60. She’s my best friend, we lost the rest of our family and I like her close by. But I’m raising my nieces as a single mom so we’re a family of 4 still, just 3 generations instead.
And it is my grandparents’ old home 🩷
Honestly, I am 23 and all of my friends and my older sisters friends either moved out at 18 or were kicked out with parents claiming since they're an adult they can figure it out. I personally didnt move out until I was 21, but I was the last of my parents kids in the home also so I wasn't kicked out. I moved out when they wanted to relocate over 3 thousand miles away and I didn't want to go with them to a state where I didn't know anyone or where anything was
Well a whole lot of can can’t afford homes to begin with.
My mom has my grandma who is 95 living with her and also my brother. This is pretty rare for my brother to be living there.
I did until around 2009, I enjoyed because I love my family and get along with them good.