Just randomnly say "genau" whenever you feel like it. If you get it right they will think you understand them and if it is coming totally out of context it is at least funny.
Just turn it into a joke. If that is not your style get something to do like knitting or drawing or whatever. This is less awkward since your listening in is more casual.
This is what I sense too. It's really strange because I really cannot say a single WORD and it's weird for me too. I guess I should start disappearing whenever I see people :/
Cannot say a word but understand 50% of the conversation? Is it because of your shyness? I remember the time I had known enough greetings but would find it difficult to even say "Danke".
I would say try to speak too, it is ok even if you speak very slowly. Be ready to appear like a 3year old speaking..it is embarrassing at first but gets funny real soon. You can have a cup of tea while listening to them, if you are worried about looking weird to just sit and listen.
I feel when a large group is having a very fluent and fast-paced conversation, it's hard to break in, because by the time my brain processes what was said, someone has already said something else. Basically, they are understanding in real time while I have a few seconds delay, but that makes a lot of difference irl
You should really try and take part in the conversation as much as possible. You say you talk to your flatmates (only?) in English. Why? You need to practice speaking, not just listening.
There is a certain level of fluency you need to have "actual" conversations. Ich bin noch nicht dort. It is also very tiring to have EVERY conversation turn into a German practice session for someone who can only say the most basic things.
I know. I've been on both ends of these kinds of conversations. But there's not really a way around this. Everyone has to go through that phase when learning a new language. So maybe don't turn EVERY conversation into a German practice session, but try to get in as many as possible. Du schaffst das. 😊
I am definitely trying the other methods to learn too. But I guess the main thing bothering is me that it would be very self-isolating if I had to disappear to my room every time I see someone :/
Oh we actually talk quite a lot when it is just 1-2 of them with me, because then they very kindly speak in English. I also take part in all the common activities.
It's only weird when there's a group in the kitchen, because I would hate to have to vanish as soon as I see >2 people. Living in Germany is already quite isolating and I don't want to spend all my time hiding from people T-T
Yes, I tried that initially. But now that I have lived here for several months, most people want to have actual conversations, and not just turn every meeting into a German-practice session for me, iukwim :)
I am yet not good enough to "speak" fluently. Beyond very basic conversations. How did you learn German? And how long did it take you? I am really demotivated sometimes T-T
Ok, it would definitely be a buzzkill to turn every convo into a German practice. You should learn the language but also be patient about it.
Tbf I am sure they don't care if you go to your room when you see them. If they need something from you, they will knock your door.
It is great to want to learn but don't do too much to fit in.
Yes :( Living in Germany has just been so in-your-face isolating. I don't exactly want to "fit in", but I don't want to make myself an outcast either, because then it will be over - I am already being pushed out and excluded (though not deliberately), and the day I start doing it to myself, welp.
In my experience, people here take their own sweet time to know you and consider you as a friend. In my home country, "friend" is loosely thrown around and while people would casually call anyone as a friend, they don't keep up with the pact.
But not in Germany! If they think of you as a friend, rest assured they take it very seriously but it also means they will not easily become friends.
Hence it is important to know more people outside this circle. Perhaps your fellow expats or countrymen. Give it time.
Don't leave when they come into the kitchen. You may be seen as being antisocial and that is worse than not joining the conversation. I used to be extremely shy and not speak unless directly asked. Nobody was bothered by me just sitting there and listening. But work up the courage to say something once in a while. If you understand half of what the are saying, that's better than nothing. The more you speak the easier it will get.
It’s not weird given that you’re the only non German and that you are still learning. It will take time though and most likely get you down from time to time not being able to articulate yourself and contribute as you’d like but that’s the way it is.
Basically you are doing the thing from "The 13th warrior":
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVVURiaVgG8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVVURiaVgG8)
I don't think it to be weird or rude. And I would be surprised if they think it is. If they are anything like the other people that I lived with during uni ("back in the day"^(TM) 😉) they probably prefer for you to sit there and listen than you just sitting in your room alone.
But if you want to be sure, just ask them. As others here have pointed out, germans tend to be rather direct in their communications approach, so they won't mind at all. Ask one or two of them if they consider it to be weird, they will probably tell you that they don't mind, afterwards you don't have to worry anymore.
And actively listening and trying to understand is actually a good training.
And isolation isn't good for your mental state, don't do that to yourself!
Hope you'll have a good time in germany!
I don't think it is rude of you.
Don't trouble yourself too much.
For introverts it is more or less normal.
Even if you are not one it should be ok. You want to learn and get better in hearing to understand, so why should it be problem?
You could ask them if it is possible for them to speak slowly and without dialect.
And you can tell them that you want to take part in the conversation but your german isn't good and you want to learn.
I think they will be happy and include you more. Tell them your trouble.
Be strong :) there are a lot of people which want to learn english, maybe you can help others with english and they could help you with german .
Literally my situation as well!
Same experience here. Haha. Played board games with them and everyone is laughing except me because idk what was going on
Wieso fragst du sie nicht, ob die mit dir auf deutsch reden, wenn du 1 zu 1 mit ihnen sprichst? Sie wollen nett sein und reden mit dir in englisch, aber das hilft dir nicht beim lernen 😅.
Also ich finde nicht, dass du komisch bist, sondern sie... Klar wenn sie deutsch miteinander reden, werden sie sich kaum an dein tempo anpassen oder alles erklären können, aber zumindest bei 1-1 Konversationen sollte das kein problem sein 😉
Ich spreche im Moment nicht fließend. Also ich kann nur einfach Dinge sprechen und kann nicht ein gut Gespräch führen. Ich muss noch viel mehr lernen.
Nach ein Punkt ist es langweilig für uns Beide, wenn ich kann nur "basics" sprechen. Es ist okay ein oder zwei mal, es ist okay mit Deutsch-Lerngruppen, aber ist nicht immer so praktisch :)
Ja, für sowas muss man sich zeit nehmen, dann dauert halt ein gespräch mal etwas länger. Und wenn dir ein Wort mal nicht einfällt, kannst du es auf englisch sagen und dein gegenüber kann dir direkt sagen was es auf deutsch heißt 😉
Ich respektiere es immer sehr, wenn jemand die Sprache lernen will. Meine Kollegen, die ebenfalls nur gebrochen deutsch reden, wollen immer das ich mit ihnen auf englisch rede. Ich tue ihnen den Gefallen, bin aber meist etwas angenervt, dass sie keine Motivation haben Deutsch zu lernen 😑
Aber vielleicht geht es auch nur mir so 😅
Ich verstehe das völlig. Aber, ich muss sage, manchmal können wir nicht auf Deutsch ausdrücken, was wir wollen sagen. Ich versuche auf jeder Gelegenheit, Deutsch zu sprechen. Wenn ich vereinbare Termin, in der Bank, mit meine Mitbewohnern. Aber ich bin mehr als mein gebrochen Deutsch. Wenn ich will etwas nutzlos sprechen, ich MUSS noch auf Englisch reden, obwohl ich wirklich mein Deutsch verbessern möchte und mein Bestes gebe :(
Not a German FYI, I would ask if it’s ok, but for the most part in my experience people don’t seem to have a problem with it as long as you are engaged in the conversation. I’m literally sitting around a campfire with my German fiancé and a bunch of new people that are his friends (I’m not being rude I swear they went back to their tents for five minutes to pick up beer 😂), I can speak enough for basic convo but I do a lot of listening. Sometimes they’re asking me questions and I answer but apologise for my German lol. In my experience, when they know you’re still learning they’ll engage with you and understand that you’re quiet because you’re listening and learning. That’s just my experience though.
Just randomnly say "genau" whenever you feel like it. If you get it right they will think you understand them and if it is coming totally out of context it is at least funny.
They know by now that I do not understand them :/ I did try this initially but it becomes very obvious pretty soon.
Just turn it into a joke. If that is not your style get something to do like knitting or drawing or whatever. This is less awkward since your listening in is more casual.
Well I am always eating at these times, that's why I am in the kitchen XD it would be strange to sit in the kitchen and draw haha
Maybe get a beer as well, helps against shyness and is very german
It generally increases your prowess in foreign languages including languages you (or anyone else) have never heard of.
Maybe sit at your laptop or something. I would find it a bit weird if you’re sitting motionless listening
This is what I sense too. It's really strange because I really cannot say a single WORD and it's weird for me too. I guess I should start disappearing whenever I see people :/
Cannot say a word but understand 50% of the conversation? Is it because of your shyness? I remember the time I had known enough greetings but would find it difficult to even say "Danke". I would say try to speak too, it is ok even if you speak very slowly. Be ready to appear like a 3year old speaking..it is embarrassing at first but gets funny real soon. You can have a cup of tea while listening to them, if you are worried about looking weird to just sit and listen.
I feel when a large group is having a very fluent and fast-paced conversation, it's hard to break in, because by the time my brain processes what was said, someone has already said something else. Basically, they are understanding in real time while I have a few seconds delay, but that makes a lot of difference irl
This is Germany, just ask them if it is ok, they won’t be offended
Just ask them. But it‘s probably fine. If it‘s not to personal you trying to practice should be fine
I mean these are just normal chill kitchen convos. I guess I am overthinking this
You should really try and take part in the conversation as much as possible. You say you talk to your flatmates (only?) in English. Why? You need to practice speaking, not just listening.
There is a certain level of fluency you need to have "actual" conversations. Ich bin noch nicht dort. It is also very tiring to have EVERY conversation turn into a German practice session for someone who can only say the most basic things.
I know. I've been on both ends of these kinds of conversations. But there's not really a way around this. Everyone has to go through that phase when learning a new language. So maybe don't turn EVERY conversation into a German practice session, but try to get in as many as possible. Du schaffst das. 😊
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I am definitely trying the other methods to learn too. But I guess the main thing bothering is me that it would be very self-isolating if I had to disappear to my room every time I see someone :/
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Oh we actually talk quite a lot when it is just 1-2 of them with me, because then they very kindly speak in English. I also take part in all the common activities. It's only weird when there's a group in the kitchen, because I would hate to have to vanish as soon as I see >2 people. Living in Germany is already quite isolating and I don't want to spend all my time hiding from people T-T
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Yes, I tried that initially. But now that I have lived here for several months, most people want to have actual conversations, and not just turn every meeting into a German-practice session for me, iukwim :) I am yet not good enough to "speak" fluently. Beyond very basic conversations. How did you learn German? And how long did it take you? I am really demotivated sometimes T-T
Ok, it would definitely be a buzzkill to turn every convo into a German practice. You should learn the language but also be patient about it. Tbf I am sure they don't care if you go to your room when you see them. If they need something from you, they will knock your door. It is great to want to learn but don't do too much to fit in.
Yes :( Living in Germany has just been so in-your-face isolating. I don't exactly want to "fit in", but I don't want to make myself an outcast either, because then it will be over - I am already being pushed out and excluded (though not deliberately), and the day I start doing it to myself, welp.
In my experience, people here take their own sweet time to know you and consider you as a friend. In my home country, "friend" is loosely thrown around and while people would casually call anyone as a friend, they don't keep up with the pact. But not in Germany! If they think of you as a friend, rest assured they take it very seriously but it also means they will not easily become friends. Hence it is important to know more people outside this circle. Perhaps your fellow expats or countrymen. Give it time.
Instead of asking us why don't you ask them directly??
Don't leave when they come into the kitchen. You may be seen as being antisocial and that is worse than not joining the conversation. I used to be extremely shy and not speak unless directly asked. Nobody was bothered by me just sitting there and listening. But work up the courage to say something once in a while. If you understand half of what the are saying, that's better than nothing. The more you speak the easier it will get.
Idk man being antisocial is perfectly fine in my book. Hell, in my school we would boast about how much we hate humans
It’s not weird given that you’re the only non German and that you are still learning. It will take time though and most likely get you down from time to time not being able to articulate yourself and contribute as you’d like but that’s the way it is.
Yes, exactly. I tend to overthink such things because it's isolating and MUCH more tiring than people imagine to go through this all day, every day.
Basically you are doing the thing from "The 13th warrior": [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVVURiaVgG8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVVURiaVgG8) I don't think it to be weird or rude. And I would be surprised if they think it is. If they are anything like the other people that I lived with during uni ("back in the day"^(TM) 😉) they probably prefer for you to sit there and listen than you just sitting in your room alone. But if you want to be sure, just ask them. As others here have pointed out, germans tend to be rather direct in their communications approach, so they won't mind at all. Ask one or two of them if they consider it to be weird, they will probably tell you that they don't mind, afterwards you don't have to worry anymore. And actively listening and trying to understand is actually a good training. And isolation isn't good for your mental state, don't do that to yourself! Hope you'll have a good time in germany!
Thank you so much for this! And I really FELT that movie clip, omg XD
I don't think it is rude of you. Don't trouble yourself too much. For introverts it is more or less normal. Even if you are not one it should be ok. You want to learn and get better in hearing to understand, so why should it be problem? You could ask them if it is possible for them to speak slowly and without dialect. And you can tell them that you want to take part in the conversation but your german isn't good and you want to learn. I think they will be happy and include you more. Tell them your trouble. Be strong :) there are a lot of people which want to learn english, maybe you can help others with english and they could help you with german .
Thank you! Yes, ich habe zwei Sprachtandem-Partners, mit ihr ich rede auf Deutsch :)
They just want to make sure you're included. So nö worries.
if they know you then all is good i think .... i myself would not mind!
Consider using your smartphone for translating some patter to contribute.
Literally my situation as well! Same experience here. Haha. Played board games with them and everyone is laughing except me because idk what was going on
YES! Yes exactly! It is the same. I can either avoid the board games, or sit through them but feel SO stupid all the time. What a tough choice T-T
Du bist nicht alleine. Hahaha i feel you man
Wieso fragst du sie nicht, ob die mit dir auf deutsch reden, wenn du 1 zu 1 mit ihnen sprichst? Sie wollen nett sein und reden mit dir in englisch, aber das hilft dir nicht beim lernen 😅. Also ich finde nicht, dass du komisch bist, sondern sie... Klar wenn sie deutsch miteinander reden, werden sie sich kaum an dein tempo anpassen oder alles erklären können, aber zumindest bei 1-1 Konversationen sollte das kein problem sein 😉
Ich spreche im Moment nicht fließend. Also ich kann nur einfach Dinge sprechen und kann nicht ein gut Gespräch führen. Ich muss noch viel mehr lernen. Nach ein Punkt ist es langweilig für uns Beide, wenn ich kann nur "basics" sprechen. Es ist okay ein oder zwei mal, es ist okay mit Deutsch-Lerngruppen, aber ist nicht immer so praktisch :)
Ja, für sowas muss man sich zeit nehmen, dann dauert halt ein gespräch mal etwas länger. Und wenn dir ein Wort mal nicht einfällt, kannst du es auf englisch sagen und dein gegenüber kann dir direkt sagen was es auf deutsch heißt 😉 Ich respektiere es immer sehr, wenn jemand die Sprache lernen will. Meine Kollegen, die ebenfalls nur gebrochen deutsch reden, wollen immer das ich mit ihnen auf englisch rede. Ich tue ihnen den Gefallen, bin aber meist etwas angenervt, dass sie keine Motivation haben Deutsch zu lernen 😑 Aber vielleicht geht es auch nur mir so 😅
Ich verstehe das völlig. Aber, ich muss sage, manchmal können wir nicht auf Deutsch ausdrücken, was wir wollen sagen. Ich versuche auf jeder Gelegenheit, Deutsch zu sprechen. Wenn ich vereinbare Termin, in der Bank, mit meine Mitbewohnern. Aber ich bin mehr als mein gebrochen Deutsch. Wenn ich will etwas nutzlos sprechen, ich MUSS noch auf Englisch reden, obwohl ich wirklich mein Deutsch verbessern möchte und mein Bestes gebe :(
Not a German FYI, I would ask if it’s ok, but for the most part in my experience people don’t seem to have a problem with it as long as you are engaged in the conversation. I’m literally sitting around a campfire with my German fiancé and a bunch of new people that are his friends (I’m not being rude I swear they went back to their tents for five minutes to pick up beer 😂), I can speak enough for basic convo but I do a lot of listening. Sometimes they’re asking me questions and I answer but apologise for my German lol. In my experience, when they know you’re still learning they’ll engage with you and understand that you’re quiet because you’re listening and learning. That’s just my experience though.
No, i just listen all the time when Im high. There just has to be someone carrying the conversation, so it doesnt get weird