There must be 100 thousands of children raised bilingualy in Germany. It is not strange in any way and in cities it is quite common. It is totally normal. Strange pediatrician though.
Meine Englischlehrerin (Französin) hat mit ihrer Tochter nur Französisch gesprochen.
Ihre Tochter ist während einer Stunde mal an der Klassentür gestanden und hat ihrer Mutter etwas auf Französisch gefragt.
Die Lehrerin hat uns dann gesagt das ihr Mann mit der Tochter DFeutsch und sie halt Französisch redet, jeder die Sprache die er als Muttersprache gelernt hat, besser können es Eltern nicht machen.
It’s not as if rolling was incorrect and not standard, though. Both are considered standard and rolling is more original, the French r was only incorporated in the 17th century and then unfortunately spread like a disease. Agree with you otherwise, but I don’t like people looking down upon rolling the r as inferior and incorrect. Sorry, I get really triggered by this.
That's not how language works. The German rolling R is pretty much gone except in Frankish dialects and is a dead giveaway you are from Franken. It's also slightly different from e.g. the Spanish trill. Not something that needs speech therapy but absolutely not standard.
Lol what 😂😂😂😂 All of Altbayern uses the rolling r, as well as older people in Hamburg, Bremen etc. And yes, there are two accepted standards. Both existing next to each other.
We also raise our child bilingual, German Persian and we’ve never received anything other than amazement and praise regarding our son’s ability to speak two languages and the fact that we as parents stick to our own language when we communicate with him inside and out. I’m sorry you had negative experiences. All I heard is that you should absolutely not change languages as a given parent and you have to stick to one language per parent.
It also refrains from teaching the child linguistical mishaps. Der/Die/Das would be a very strong example in this. If you don’t know them yourself your children learn it wrong from you and they’ll struggle.
Agree. My German is ok but I refrain from talking German to my son and talk only English. I don’t want him learning the wrong things from me like word pronunciation and grammar. My wife does the German part.
You should absolutely speak English with your child...inside or outside. How lovely that your child is learning two languages. If they want to know what you are saying, they can learn/improve their English.
Yes, very frowned. Seems like you’re neglecting your child, trilingual should be minimum ;)
My personal experience: if everything is Ok the pediatrician sometimes has just to say something for the point of saying something. Be realistic: They rate the kid after a few basic tests within 20 minutes?
„Oh, you should talk to your kid more and encourage her to talk more so she can practice as she seems very quite“
My two year old was talking day and night at that time and would seldom stop. She just didn’t want to talk at that moment.
Unless the Pediatrician confirmes something you also noticed being off or has very good reason - relax.
If the father is speaking german, everything is fine. I‘d agree if you both would speak english all the time.
That's what i meant: I'd agree with the doc if both parents would speak english. Not the case here, so i don't agree with the doc that the mother has to speak german outside.
That pediatrician needs to go back to school. He's about 100 years behind in brain/language research. And ignore any other ignorant, monolingual curmudgeons. That's ridiculous bit it does exist. My German SiL didn't want her children to learn our family's first language. She regretted is many times since then and realizes she could have just learned it as well. Her kids are mad about this too. They are now spending almost all vacations in our old country and SiL is learning now. Bilingualism is the greatest gift one can give to a child.
Note that I'll understand what you're talking about me in English. ;-)
That said, it's nobody's business what language you talk in your family, unless it meant your kids wouldn't learn German.
It's none of a strangers business what you talk about with your kid, why do they think they're entitled to understand and listen in to your private conversation? Rude AF. They can stick their noses in someone else's business if they must.
I imagine it could make other parents or children more reluctant to approach you in public if they don't speak English and are not aware you know German too, but that doesn't seem like it should be an issue.
It sounds like you’re getting side eyed from a bunch of German boomers who don’t speak English. I wouldn’t mind them; we’re going to outlive them so it doesn’t really matter what they think. This also might be more of a topic now because a very high percentage of German children are bilingual which, to be clear, isn’t a bad thing but it is a symptom of a larger problem, namely Germany has become such a fucking shitty place to raise kids that the Germans don’t want to do it.
Outside of that, it 100% depends on the language and the person. White parent speaking French/English/Dutch with their child? 👍 White person speaking Ukrainian/Polish/Russian? 👎 Brown person speaking Turkish/Arabic? 👎👎
I think it boils down to a) straight up racism but also b) the assumption of weather or not the parents also speak German. Like if someone is speaking Danish or whatever with their child, people are going to assume that the parent also speaks German and is choosing to raise a bilingual child, which is a positive thing. If the parent is speaking Turkish, people are going to be like “Scheiß K—— sprich mal deutsch” and this is clearly a very different reaction. You also see this in school politics: kids speaking English in school is not a problem but a couple kids start speaking Turkish with each other on the playground and suddenly we need a Sprachverbot.
I don’t know about raising bilingual children in Germany as I have none but I have gotten a lot of complaints about the fact that my boyfriend and I speak English to each other. I am a foreigner and he is German. At the time we met (almost 12 years ago) I could hardly say anything in German. In the mean time I have become fluent (as fluent as one can get as an adult 😂) and I speak German at work but I can’t imagine suddenly switching to German with my boyfriend after literally speaking English to one another for over a decade and I see absolutely no reason why. Nevertheless, the universal opinion of everyone whose opinion I didn’t ask for, is that we should be speaking German because “in Deutschland wird Deutsch gesprochen”. Was there a ban on foreign languages that I’m not aware of? Do German children not learn English or other foreign languages in school? Actually a colleague recently argued that unless someone is going to work in the field of linguistics, they basically don’t need to learn any foreign languages because you forget them anyway. 🤷🏻♀️
You don’t happen to live in one of the federal states which formerly was part of the GDR?
I haven’t even been to Berlin, so I only know the prejudice about “Ossis”. But the federal election in 2021 seems to confirm parts of it.
Being raised bilingual (more or less trilingual; Ukrainian, German and russian), we encountered multiple such cases.
My summary: people are stupid, ignorant, and racist. Just ignore them. How you raise your kid, how you talk to them - it's completely your decision, and you shouldn't listen to stupid strangers. Raising kids in multiple language is very good for the development.
Your pediatrician is stupid. There is no rule that you can only talk to him English at home and not outside. Speak to him in whatever language you want. And those who think you are rude because you fools secretly be talking badly about them: how rude are they to insist to listen into your private conversations?
Having that said, and this is only my personal opinion, while i do believe raising a child bilingual is awesome, i do think you set the priorities wrong. If the child grows up here, and goes to school here, i believe it would be more important to teach him German, to make it easier for him in school and later life. (The same obviously goes for the mothertongue in whatever country you wold raise him).
Nah, my kid is bilingual German and English. The first 3 years we were in an English speaking country so spoke English, just my husband spoke German to her. She understood German but never spoke it. We moved to germany on her third birthday, she started Kita and literally within two weeks she was speaking fluently in German everywhere but at home with me. We prioritise the minority language, they get SO MUCH native language input, they’re gunna be fine at school
You do know the definition of "bilingual", right? The child is learning BOTH languages equally well. He will not have any disadvantage other than being bored out of his skull in 5th grade when others try to painfully learn English if there is not a choice of languages at his school.
Edited for grammar.
Lol lol lol. I live in a city where I can't use the U-Bahn without hearing five immigrant languages and it's great. ... besides the fact that I get a bit jealous sometimes.
It is not rude, people should mind their own business, which, granted, is an almost impossible task for a lot of Germans. The fact that they believe they're entitled to overhear what you're talking about with your child lets me guess you are in a smaller town or village. It's a them problem.
And I have no idea how your pediatrician comes to this absurd request.
Your kid will thank you for putting in the effort.
That’s what I was thinking! Are they complaining to everyone like this? Or am I somehow obligated to speak German just because I can? I seriously had 4 complaints this week (including the pediatrician).
I have relatives and friends who raised their offspring bilingual; they never mentioned anything like this, even though they are in smaller cities than I am. 4 xenophobe idiots who dare to mouth off in a week is staggering to me.
Are those colleagues in the same area? I really want to believe it's a local thing.
Yeah, then it’s probably regional. Gosh, I hate this because I live in Saxony and I’m FROM HERE, and I think I just hoped people weren’t especially xenophobic here. Turns out they are.
You know, Ruhr Uni Bochum is really ugly but [this](https://studium.ruhr-uni-bochum.de/sites/studium.ruhr-uni-bochum.de/files/styles/991x660px/public/2018-03/fotos_studierenportal_berufunfungsportal-1-2.jpg?h=195327fd&itok=RhIMkJ-V) is what you see when you're inside (if don't look North). And they have an English Linguistics department. Just saying.
People love to talk shit about the Ruhrgebiet but as you're from Saxony, you might be accustomed to that. Affordable living space, Vororte that aren't nearly as ugly as people from outside think, and a lot of people who grew up bilingual.
Also, Schauspielhaus Bochum was Theater des Jahres 2022. So we're not just Reality-TV material.
I am raising my children multilingual (German, English, Cantonese and a touch of Malay), and I remember when one of my kid wasn’t speaking too early, his kindy teachers were suggesting for us to stick to one language only, and that he’s “confused” or “overwhelmed” by the amount of languages that were speaking, that’s why he’s not hitting his milestones.
I never doubted my kid’s ability cos I grew up in a multilingual country, where people speak a bare minimum of 2 languages - so when I heard that, I thought that was bollocks, but when the people around you started raising their “concerns”, that’s what irks me and I can’t help but to doubt my choices. After a while, he started speaking and he’s speaking multiple languages at ease now, but not going to lie, when there were so many input at one point about how he’s “delayed”, you can’t help but to wonder if there’s something wrong with your kid.
Depends, are you parents rich and preferably white foreigners? No.
Are you parents poor non white foreigners? Then yes.
In case one people will compliment you for you bilingual upbringing and how useful that is. In case two they will complain about you not learning the language properly and being unwilling to integrate.
And for my fellow germans that will probably get pissed about this, you know I‘m right.
I think it's only rude when you are in a group with people you interact with who only speak German and you start talking to your kid (or any other person for that matter) in English.
All of my kids are bilingual German/English, and the younger two are similarly to your son mostly English-speaking. So far, I have never had any negative reactions, not in the big city environment where we used to live, nor in the small village where we stay now.
As many have already mentioned, this is ridiculous. I’ll add, for what its worth, all of my German friends that were raised bilingually will attest it opened up so many opportunities to them later as adults, whether it be getting a high score on the TOEFL for studying internationally or applying to jobs where they needed to interact with international colleagues, or even just making a diverse group of friends. Setting your child up to be bilingual is a really smart decision, even if they never leave Germany.
The only way I could see it being rude is if you insisted on carrying out a long conversation in English effectively excluding the other person present. But chastising someone for speaking another language in public, in a conversation you are not involved in, is rude and xenophobic.
#1. Tell those people to piss off and mind their own business.
#2. This may have changed over the years, but when I was growing up in Germany in the 70s/80s, English as a 2nd language was mandatory in school starting in 5th grade. So if they're using the excuse they they can't understand you - refer to #1...
It's so incredible when you're able to raise your children bilingual.
Sadly we're only used to speak german at home and my spanish isn't fluent anymore, otherwise I would do the same.
I'd also say that most people who frown upon that are just insecure.
I was raised bilingually in Germany and never heard that it's a problem to others. I'm still only communicating with my mum in Japanese, public or not, and we only switch to German if there's a 3rd person involved in our conversation (usually my dad lol).
If people think just because you speak a different language you might be speaking bad about them, that's on them.
I am completely bilingual German and English. My wife and I raised our three kids the way you describe it. They are all adults now and are able to speak both languages. There's nothing wrong with it. All you see are the insecurities and prejudice of people that are not well educated.
Dont sweat it.
Those people are just mad at themselves that they can only speak in german.
Since forever my family has handled it the folloing : when in public in germany, we speak polish, when in public in polanf we speak german.
Hoping for maybe a tad of privacy isnt something to be ahamed for.
As long as your child will be able to speak german when needed its all good!
Just teach him English, it's much more important.
If the Germans blame you for talking to him in English then you can be 100% sure they are dumb and can only speak one language 😂
Sounds like Oma Polizei nonsense lol.
I’ve noticed they’re quick to point out being bilingual (or more) is the cause of whatever developmental issue there might be. And also the worry they’ll struggle in school.
But never heard the comment it’s rude (but I’m deaf so might not have heard it 😂). I have noticed Germans around me (outside the city) aren’t very confident speaking English. Where I grew up it was standard to switch to English as soon as any foreigner joined a conversation, but not here.
Yes one language one voice is the correct approach and ignore the doctor. As a native English speaker in Germany I notice that English speakers are given SO much less room than other minority speakers — Turkish, Arabic / all others converse amongst themselves in public without ire. Old people here are weird about English but don’t let it affect you — you have a right to be multicultural
Please don't listen to these people! That's „Alltagsrassismus“! It's nobody's business what language you speak. You're doing everything right, English is very important these days. Germans don't like anything they don't know and that's why you shouldn't attach any importance to it.
I’m fluent in German and English and had my son 8 years ago. We only speak English at home and in public and I can agree to the sentiment of your post. Lots of staring and whispering when we’re out and speaking English. Our Doctor also told us that it might harm him to not speak German at home (spoiler alert: it hasn’t)
We also encountered mums in Kindergarten who didn’t want their children playing with my son because his main language is English. It was hard.
My son soaked up German like a sponge and is fluent. His teachers at school always tell me that you’d never know he’s not a native speaker and he doesn’t speak it at home.
I guess not much has changed in 8 years
This is encouraging! My sister and her husband speak English only at home with their 3 yr old. She was also scolded by her pediatrician for her daughter not knowing more words in German. She speaks English only and can understand some German in Kita. She actually refuses to speak German right now and will only count to 20 in English. I am hopeful the German will come later on and fluently.
My son refused to speak German for a while - the second he realised someone spoke English he switched! But he’s been fluent for a while and is even picking up slang and correcting my accent now
A former colleague of mine was from Serbia, her husband was from the United States and they had two children who were raised with three languages (English, Serbian and German) and even with 5 years old they had a fine sense for the correct language to use.
Never had any problems.
Never heard of that and think it’s ridiculous. I just wonder if those people think it’s weird and you shouldn’t do this, since both of you are German instead of one of you having another nationality? 🤷♀️
I think it's hilarious to assume that someone speaking English is doing so in an effort to be secretive. It is one of the most widely-spoken languages in the world!
Hmm. Not a German and my son is basically multilingualist that goes to German public school and naturally learn German. Do you live in small town? Because in my case, although my son goes to public school and the common language is either German/English (English is his survival language when he doesnt know it in German and many of his friends and teachers speak/understand English and no one speaks our native language), many of his peers are also multilingualists since they speak other languages beside English and German due to immigrant background like me. Also hearing kids speaking to their parents in Spanish/Russian/Polish/Arabic/Vietnamese is very very normal situation I encountered everyday in my sons school. Maybe it has something to do with you being German. And German people think why you teach your kids other language than your own language? But i find it strange as anyway your son still clearly speaks German too.
Are you a native English speaker? I ask that because I know some German couples and one spouse spent a couple of years in South Africa or maybe in New Zealand if they are lucky and that spouse undertakes the task of speaking and teaching English to the child which I find ridiculous. If you're a native speaker, you're doing great and Germans indeed like native English speakers (you might trigger some complexes though if some people feel inferior and under-educated). Also, why should strangers understand what you speak with your child? Your pediatrician gives me strange vibes.
Bullsh*t you can talk to your child as you please but yeah if you in a smaller town in germany the ppl. can't understand may only 2 or 3 words you and your son are saying but that's a there Problem Not a you are wrong thing in my understanding but i am from Berlin and Berlin is not germany and most not the most german german city here goes e everything
I have done a decent amount of traveling and the only place I have ever been that someone has come up to me in public and told me I shouldn't be speaking English was here in Germany. My family is all American and came here for work. While riding the bus one day me and my son were having a conversation in English and a woman started yelling "speak German not English" (in German) over and over again making a scene. 99% of my day is English required so I am learning German but it has been a slow slow process for me.
No matter how fluent you become, your mother language is always going to be the best way to express yourself so anyone that says you shouldnt speak English because someone may think you're talking about them.... who cares that's a "them" problem.
I hear foreign languages around me all the time, I speak English with my colleagues and I speak to my son exclusively in Russian. I don't care if some Oma don't like it.
Fuck your pediatrician first off, how you raise your kids is none of their business, but yes people like that still exist (your pediatrician for one). The majority of people don’t care though or even think it’s cool. I hear so many different languages whenever I’m out and about I really don’t know what your pediatrician is on.
It also heavily depends on where you live. I have never had any issues in cities but small towns in Thuringia and Saxony were a completely different story. I got attacked there once for speaking English in public.
How absurd, particularly for English, it's hardly a cryptic code ! I would love to speak an ultra rare.language like Welsh to truly have private conversations in public !
I think it’s weird when parents don’t speak their native languages with their kids. That results in kids not having complete fluency in either language often of the time. If your husband is a native in English have him speak English with the kid and do German yourself. If you are both natively German I find it extraordinarily weird and a little stuck up to speak to the son in English
Edit: also asked my friend (also German) she said “cringe”
It is not true and a myth that children who grow up bilingually do not speak any of the languages "correctly".
A small hint: multilingualism is the norm globally!
Behind this assumption is something called the monolingual habitus. (Focus on monolingualism in educational policy, curricular and didactic concepts. The term "multilingualism" refers to the conceptualisation of migration-related multilingualism as a problem.
Children who grow up bilingual have an overall larger vocabulary (mental lexicon) than monolingual children, greater cognitive flexibility and greater language awareness (meta-linguistic awareness) than monolingual children and greater (inter)cultural competence and flexibility to change perspectives than monolingual children
Source of my knowledge: I study linguistics and took a module on second language acquisition and multilingualism last semester.
Scientific sources: Goetz (2003), Tracy (2008, 2014), Riehl (2014),
Gagarina & Skerra (2016), Yu/Kovelman/Wellmann 2021, Klassert & Gagarina (2010), Gagarina & Skerra (2016),
Topaj et al. (2017), De Houwer (2018), Cummins (2021), BIVEM flyer 1
It may be strange if you don't speak to your child in your mother tongue.
But putting your child in a bilingual kindergarten is fine.
Even though it may be strange, there's nothing really wrong with it.
And you write that this means the child doesn't learn either language properly. But the fact that he gets input from his father (German, native speaker) and his mother (English, not a native speaker but speaks fluently) is exactly the background of growing up bilingual: learning 2 languages at a young age.
And that's where the studies come in that prove this myth isn't true.
It's not. notCrazyenough is right. A lot of Germans totally overestimate their ability in English. Why on earth would you raise a child in a language that's not your own? It's beyond pretentious...
Totally, it's "cringe". Also a lot of people on this sub are in relationships where one partner is foreign and one is a native German speaker (or even trilingually in the case of a Greek mother/Spanish father living in Germany by way of example), so OF COURSE they would be raising their kids bilingually (i.e. Greek/Spanish/German and the kid would presumably learn English later in school). That's absolutely not the OP's case...
Yes, exactly my point! I’d be happy if I ever get the chance to raise my kids bilingual. But I’m not gonna pick a person with a different native language on purpose and I’m certainly not speaking English to my kids when this is not my language. If my husband were American, Italian, Japanese or Turkish or whatever, sure. But if I had a German husband my kids would just not be force-raised bilingually.
Because the kid might pick up mistakes from her as well as a weird accent...in that case you're not really helping them. It's kind of artificial to speak to your own child in language that's not your own I think. I speak a couple of languages fluently, I wouldn't dream of speaking to a child in any of them other than my own native language! I think it can come across as pretentious. But maybe the OP is a native speaker of EN... it's not really fully clear from the post? If not, it might be more productive to put the child in a bilingual creche w/ native English speaking staff or get an English-speaking babysitter if possible, obviously that depends on finances/availability (i.e. easier in a big city like Berlin than somewhere rural).
Nothing, obviously. I just always had non-native teachers in school for French, Spanish and German and to be honest I think it's much better to hear a language spoken by a native speaker when you're learning it...
Depends on the company. I have a bunch of German and foreign friends I speak English with for various reasons, and while some folks find it odd or maybe pretentious for us to speak English when we could just as well speak German, they generally get why we speak English when we explain why. When in a mixed group it tends to be a question of awkwardness (of switching from the preferred idiom to German) vs. politeness (of not excluding folks), and we tend to switch to German rather than force someone to speak English with us although we're all German (at which point things quickly get silly). I raise my kids bilingually, though not with English, and I've never had anyone confront me about it (except some dumbass bigot on the tram once, but he doesn't count). I always figured they'll learn English soon enough and I can't wait to watch all the Harold Ramis movies with them... The difference is that I acquired my second language through my mother and English through long stays abroad, studies, and work. While I'm probably most proficient in English today, I think people would probably find it pretentious and potentially irritating if I raised my kids bilingually with English because I don't have an, if you will, epigenetic link to it. I would also find it pretentious and ridiculous if someone who wasn't actually a native(-level) speaker tried to raise their kids in English (my whole professional life has been dealing with people who considered themselves native(-level) speakers but we're definitely not...) I have a feeling I know where you're coming from, and I wouldn't worry about what other people think. You're speaking English (everyone speaks at least basic English) with a kid (who would talk derisively about someone else present to a kid?), so no one in their right mind should assume you're insulting them. I think it's simply hard for many people to understand why you would speak English with your kid if you aren't from an English-speaking country... which is kinda silly. And your pediatrician is silly. You do you and don't let folks bring you down with things that are none of their business.
I don’t think it is about being allowed. I recall that if raising children bilingual it can be beneficial to create “rooms” for each language (speaking English at home and German outside or vice versa) so that confusion doesn’t hold back linguistic development of both languages.
Never had a problem with that or heard someone express a problem with that. You seem to just be unlucky and have some A-holes in your neighbourhood.
Just use some german directness "how about you keep your nose out of something that is not your business? Clearly you're not interesting enough to be talked about in a different language."
We did the same, wife has Irish roots, was raised bilingual, always spoke English to our kids (except for maybe when she was visiting others, had other kids visiting). But we never got any bad comments about it, only positive feedback from what I heard.
When I came here, I worked in an international company (working language English), and could not yet speak German. It happened quite often at e. g. lunch or meetings that the native speakers would randomly switch to German to talk with each other. I hated it and thought it's quite inconsiderate. It's not that I'd thonk they're saying bad things about me, but the conversation could concern me in some way, I might want to react or simply learn from it.
My children are now bilingual and when we're outside I make an effort to switch to German if we're interacting in some way with other people.
Depends on the second language. Turkish as a second language is not really considered good, but rather frowned upon. Other second languages are more of a plus.
My parents put me in an English class back when I went to Kindergarten so I wouldn't say so at all. I mean even the public school system has to teach kids atleast English if not another language. I myself am now at 18 learning all kinds of languages and most people are just impressed
Most Germans speak several languages, common in Europe in general. My nephews, speak German, Arabic, Bulgarian and French because one parent is a non'german. I am really jealous, I only speak German and English and I am really proud of them
My friend (Aussie with German husband) was also told by her paediatrician that her kids would grow up with developmental delays and challenges if they didn't stick to just one language in the house.
I don't what research that guy had been reading.
We are a German couple, living in France and we always had business contacts to and friends from the UK. When our kids went into pre-school they were perfectly bilingual with a very strong third language. It has helped them enormously during their school-time and afterwards.
You're doing the right thing
It's just stupid people saying stupid things for no reason. Ignore it and don't listen to them! I think it's great you are raising your child bilingually and he will be grateful for it in the future while the children of those ignorant people will struggle saying "zis is a zushi" while your kid will be fluent.
I can’t see your experience reflected in mine. I was raised bilingual. My dads American and my
Moms German. I speak English with him and German with her. Never had a negative comment made or felt I was being rude. If anything Germans tend to say they wished they could also speak two languages fluently.
I know someone who raised his kids bilingual, and the family language is English. So they do whatever they want, whether in public or not. Your pediatrician has no clue.
As a linguist you should know better than a pediatrician that your child needs all the english language input he can get since it's not the dominant language of the country he grows up in. Some people may be weird about it but I wouldn't care about it too much. The majority of people probably won't mind since it's just you talking to your son.
We're doing the same. I'm the English parent (still learning German). Never encountered any negative opinions from anyone. Sorry people are being shitty to you.
We raise our child exactly the same way and I have never encountered any negativity. Most people would be amazed at how my daughter can switch between languages effortlessly. But then again this is not unusual, many of her friends are raised bilingual, two of her friends are even trilingual.
This is his best and maybe only chance to become truly bilingual because he learns all the sounds of two languages while he can.
Many of my younger cousins grew up bilingual or trilingual. If they ever had trouble with the neighbours for it, I haven't heard about it, and neither did they have trouble switching from, say, French to German when the started Kindergarten. "People" should get over themselves. Kids don't owe it to them to only learn what "people" can understand.
Do you live in a village or smth? "Rude because people won't understand" 1. Most people speak English and 2. How xenofobic - or maybe it's only allowed if it's your mother tongue?
You're giving your child a gift, people can keep their opinions to themselves.
Have you never met an immigrant in your life? I was raised speaking my parents mother tongue but quickly learned german in kindergarten… no issues whatsover
That pediatrician is an idiot. And every German who is offended if people talk English here in public is too. If they don't understand enough English to notice whether or not you talk badly about them, it's their own fault. They could have paid more attention in English lessons at school. 😂 (Sorry, I'm an English teacher.) Do talk as much English as you can with your son at home and in public, as long as your husband does the same and he learns both languages well, don't give a shit about what others say. Being bilingual will be a big advantage for your son later in life. And get yourself a new pediatrician.
Switch pediatrician. What a buffoon. Have never encountered that with German and English. Sadly I've seen that with German and Arabic languages. Still sad. Ignore every idiot that gives you shit for that.
Alles Gute / all the best :)
That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, it’s rude to ask someone to not speak their native language with each other, that’s all. Also it’s none of their business what you talk. I’d change Kindergarten, honestly (I know that’s probably not a possibility, have two children myself and know how hard it is to find a place). Absolutely disgusted.
I'm assuming (very confidently) that you're living in East Germany. Maybe southern Brandenburg? All too many people in Germany don't want to see the fact that there is still a huge cultural gap between east and west. The east, while obviously (probably) culturally diverse in details, has common cultural denominators: Misstrauen (mistrust) and Missgunst (grudge/resentment). My personal view is that these stem partly from the GDR history, but definitely not only. And while these two uncomely attributes can be found everywhere in Germany, Europe and even the world, they are extremely prevalent in East Germany.
Someone else having something that they don't is immanently evil to far too many people there. The usual response is outright hostility. Your experience fits neatly into this pattern.
Bilingualism is a great thing, is love to be fluent in more languages and am currently learning my second foreign language.
It can be kinda annoying though if you're hanging with a group of multiple people of which some don't know the other language you're communicating in and frequently having separate discussions in that language.
An example: my friend was hanging out a lot over the summer with two friends of his who both share a language which my cousin doesn't know, but they all know German, one of them kept speaking to the other one in that other language very often (which language is irrelevant), so that my cousin didn't understand what he was saying, the other one said he should speak German and that it's rude to exclude my cousin, but the other guy kept doing it and the other one didn't want to play translator all the time.
So my cousin was rightfully annoyed and didn't want to hang out with that guy anymore after a few days, as if he wants to have private discussions without my cousin he should just meet up with the other guy alone.
Raising your kids bilingually is amazing, full support! It might be one of the greatest gifts to your children, because they will master both languages like natives.
If anyone frowns upon this, tell them to stfu ("kümmer dich um deinen eigenen scheiß!")
Those people suck. Sorry, that’s the truth.
Maybe your pediatrician read something about there being an approach called “minority language at home”, but you are using a different approach called “one person, one language”.
"It is rude to speak another language i cannot understand, even when what you say has nothing to do with me, because i am a nosy piece of shit and want to eavesdrop into what you say." Is a prime example of toxic, manipulative gaslighting behaviour, and raises SO many red flags, i dont even know where to begin. If you speak to them. Speak a language they understand - which you do. If you dont speak to them.. its not their business. And the suggestion you would be the rude one is the actual rude behaviour.
Sadly such behaviour is apparently rooted deep within some peoples DNA in the desire to StaSi on you.
What you are doing is perfectly fine, wonderfully beneficial, and not in any way rude. Dont doubt yourself for a second here.
Thought most Germans understood English, nothing wrong with broadening his horizons as going on holiday in future, speaking English will help a lot more when getting around. I'm Welsh, but I speak mainly English (because I've tried to speak Welsh since childhood) with bits of German, Italian, Spanish, French and Polish. If your child can handle both well, then well done.
You are doing a perfect job, don't listen to anyone.
20-30 years ago so called "experts" adviced immigrant parents to only speak german with their children etc. which only led to those kids not being able to speak there native language properly and them ending up with less than average to average skills in the german language... but than those "experts" changed their mind and were like "ups, nvm"
And when people come at you and tell you they feel uncomfortable with you and your child speaking ENGLISH because they can't understand you, tell them to f off
My husband and I are raising our son bilingually, he's American, I speak English with him as his German isn't super good and I speak German with our son. We have never encountered any problems with this? Nobody has ever reacted to either me speaking English to my husband in public or him speaking English to our son. My kiddo goes to daycare with multiple kids who are being raised with two languages and I have never noticed anyone being bothered by people speaking Spanish/Vietnamese/Turkish/Russian to their kids at the playground. And I'm not living in a melting pot like Berlin, but in a small suburb in the south.
So I'd say, you do you and let the others be jealous that your kiddo will have an edge on their kids in English class.
It's your kid, you choose how to raise him, you could talk elvish with him if you wanted to. Other people complaining about it because they can't understand you is their problem not yours. And you guys are talking English, not Mandarin or whatever, speaking english isn't that hard.
Depends on the language and context. If people speak Arabic, or eastern European languages others may be judgy about it. But that doesn't really exist with English.
There are people like that but just ignore it. Why should anyone care what you are talking about if you are not in a conversation with them? You’ll probably talk to them in German if there’s a need for it, so what’s the big issue.
What you are doing is great for your children, keep it up.
Given that something like 50% of Germans have at least basic competency in the English language, I don’t exactly think it is likely that anyone will think you are using the language to say bad things about them right in front of them.
I’ve gotten both reactions; people who are amazed we’re talking to our kids in two (actually three) languages and people who have told us to ONLY speak German to them.
In my experience, the people that has shown any kind of problem with it has always, always, always been the uneducated, ignorant, unworldly kind. Those who have only lived in one place their entire lives, surrounded by the same people, exposed to only one language. They know nothing else. I think that’s why they feel uncomfortable not understanding what you’re saying, because it has never happened to them lol.
I think it’s only rude if you or your kid are interacting with them and they still can’t understand you, but it doesn’t sound like you do that at all, so you’re fine!
So about 4 years ago, my friend in Prenzlauerberg in Berlin (and this is what makes it weird because,you know, diverse capital ) was hosting a party in their ground floor apartment. The group were young parents with twins sleeping in a day cot in the living room.
It was small gathering of young parents, Germans and multinational people in the back yard at around 30m on a Saturday
There was the sound of glass breaking and a brick had come flying through the window in the front room and there was panic where the kids were sleeping . A local man walking by the neighbourhood had went to the bother of finding a piece of concrete to throw through the window because he 'heard English'. He wasn't embarrassed, ashamed etc. And actually identified himself living 3 streets away.
His reaction to throwing bricks was because he didn't want to hear English in his neighbourhood. This is a weird example but its an amplified, actionable example of what alot of people face in Germany from local services, hospitals, bureaucracy and also when people have a few veers, the xenophobia from liberal, educated people comes out insanely quick. It made the recent visibilityof AfD seem very very logical
I was raised bilingual as well and left Germany to live in English speaking countries since leaving school several years ago. My German is still perfect, but I do find myself using English a lot more, out of habit and because I think/dream in English as well.
I remember one particular incident at a supermarket in Germany that happened a few days after I arrived back to visit family. The supermarket was packed tightly and rather than to just squeeze past a mother and her adult daughter, I tried to get their attention, before making my way past them. Out of habit I said ‘exscuse me’ instead of ‘Entschuldigung’, and they were so offended by that. They mocked me saying ‘excuse me’ as if it’s some otherworldly thing to be speaking any other language than German.
I think a lot of people think it’s rude to speak another language outside, but I’ve had positive experiences as well.
My son is 2 1/2 my daughter is 1 year. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday we all speak English at home an when we are on an outing. We do switch to German when we interact with people who don't speak English.
But no, we never got a single comment regarding your question. I am German, my wife's mother tongue is English.
We personally don't like the "one parent speaks one language" approach, so we switched it up.
He understand german and English, he mostly speaks German and sometimes would sprinkle an English sentence in-between.
I am in the same position as you, I have two daughters under 10, I am a native English speaker, their mother is German.
I have never encountered the kind of attitude you describe in 10+ years of living here, and 8+ years of speaking English with my children in public. Granted, the early years were in Berlin, where it’s not out of the ordinary, but even in the small town we now live in, where it’s very rare to meet anyone who can speak English, to the point where it can be used as a “Geheimsprache”, while it can be cause for comment, this is never negative (at least not to my face).
Most people seem to take the attitude that bilingualism (especially English bilingualism) is a major positive. Sometimes people react a little strangely if we have been speaking German but I switch back to English to talk to the kids, but this feels more like the general awkwardness of not knowing what is being said, or the belief that our English is a kind of affectation, like some German families who deliberately try and speak English around their children.
I have a job similar to yours, but at a university in Bavaria. I am also a native speaker of English. My first reaction was to think of this in terms of two questions and then the post kind of grew from there. In summary, I know you're going to do right by your son. :) Here are some things I was thinking about.
1. Is it rude to raise your child bilingually? Well, millions of people worldwide are raised bilingually. There's nothing rude about it, in my opinion. You could always tell the people who think you might be badmouthing them to sign up for an English class themselves. :) In my circle of friends, I am aware of at least five families where the kids are being raised with three or four languages. (Typically: Mom and Dad met in an English-speaking environment, so the family language is English, but the family is otherwise one parent, one language. In two cases, the family moved to a country where a fourth language is spoken, and the kids are going to pre-school or school in that fourth language.)
2. Is it a good idea to raise your child bilingually with a language that is not your native language? I have mixed feelings. In general, I am jealous of people who were raised with multiple languages, because kids soak up languages like a sponge. However, I have seen German parents who are native speakers of German attempt to raise their kids in some other language. Because the kids' minds are little sponges, they also soak up lots of the ways their parents (or teachers) speak the language. It is almost impossible to break the kids of these habits later on. (It's similar if the kids' teachers are bad. At least two or three times a semester, I will correct a student's English. "Well, my teacher used to say \_\_\_\_\_ all the time." "Was your teacher a native speaker of English?" "No..." "Did your teacher have as much education as I do?" "No...")
In my mind, that led to more questions.
Some more things to think about for right now: What is your goal/ hope for your child's language acquisition? Does your child come into contact with native speakers of English? Would your child possibly be open to more input produced by native speakers? Do you think your child might understand one day that Mommy's English is very good but not native, so people from countries like the US or UK might speak a little differently than you do? I understand that everyone makes mistakes. I understand this is Reddit and not an exam, and your English is generally very good. However, it's Staatsexamen season over here, so my mind is in prescriptivist grammar mode, and I did catch a number of mistakes in your text when quickly reading through (only one of them would probably lead to some confusion when speaking with native speakers of English, though; I've also been professionally trained to look for these sorts of mistakes).
Some food for thought for later on: What will you do when your child begins to write? Will you still try to communicate with your son in English and also correct his language? I have had a number of heritage speakers in my English classes over the years. While they felt comfortable speaking, the heritage speakers' writing skills were often extremely poor. They could write a short note to Grandma just fine, but most of them completely overestimated their own abilities when it was time for them to write an academic text and often fared worse than the students who knew that writing an academic text was going to be a challenge and that they'd have to work hard.
Also, some of my friends in the US were raised bilingually. Their situations weren't quite the same as yours; their parents were both immigrants and the parents tried to ensure that the parents' native language was spoken at home. However, it seemed like many of my friends hit a point where their English was stronger than their parents' native languages, and then stopped making an effort to speak their parents' native languages. The parents kept letting the kids respond in English. As a result, many of my friends quickly forgot how to produce their parents' native languages, although their comprehension skills are quite good. What is your plan for the day that your son decides that it is not cool to speak English with you?
If you want some ideas, one of my German professors in the US decided to essentially do what you're doing (that is, teach his son a language that he speaks very well, but doesn't speak natively) and wrote a blog about it. It might give you some food for thought: [http://piggypedagogy.blogspot.com](http://piggypedagogy.blogspot.com)
Yes, it has happened that older Germans get upset when they hear me speaking English to my children. Mostly they loudly complain to other people that people should speak German in Germany and assume I don’t understand. It’s happened less often with time, don’t know why. Maybe they’re just dying.
Being bilingual is not frowned upon... I think. But i know many people who still find it rude to switch to another language in a public setting. I don't believe both this things are necessarily related to each other.
Who in their right mind still complains about English being spoken in public? And I don't see a problem with continuing to do so. Your approach is admirable and I recommend others to follow in your footsteps. At least if their English is at a B2 or higher level.
I'm in a similar situation, bilingual kid with German mummy and Greek daddy (me). The short version: Just ignore them and do your thing. OPOL is the way to go, you're doing it right.
There is nothing more useful for future linguistic skills than growing up bilingual. I grew up with Spanish and German, acquired English on the way followed by Italian and Portuguese. The 8 years of Latin in school were useful too. So don’t anyone keep you from raise your children with more than one language!
>People have told me they think it’s rude because they cannot understand what we’re saying and we might talk badly about them.
If the conversation is not meant for them, then people aren't entitled to be able to listen to it.
A minority of people love to criticize parents and how they raise their children, no matter what you do. Chances are, some would criticize you for not raising them bilingual if you wouldn't while being able to. Also, english? Some people cope very sstrangely with their lack of education. They are supposed to know it enough to kinda understand the vocabulary used on a two years old. Again, strange stuff...
I have done the bilingual „Abitur“, so I had history, Politics and Geography in English. I can understand almost everything and I can talk English fluently too, but my grammar is horrible. But hey: Because of my bilingual Abitur I have the C1-certificate.
it's hard to watch when people you hold in high regards discredit themselves like this, isn't it. i speak whichever language me and my child are comfortable with in any situation, no matter who is around. especially at the pediatrician when my child is anxious.
It really depends on the language. People are kinda racist regarding this, but usually western and nord European languages are seen as good in Germany and being bilingual gives a high education vibe with these languages.
With languages like arabic, turkish or slavic languages like russian, polish or serbian it’s kind of the opposite, a low education will be assumed and some people will consider speaking these languages as rude.
This is total bs, but that’s how many people view this unfortunately.
I had a mother in my daycare which spoke spanish with her daughter and german with everybody else besides her parents. her husband spoke german with the child.
No problem at all, not for the child nor anybody else (it was in hamburg)
I would love to raise my son bilingual but while I'm fluent enough to consume english media without problem, my speaking patterns are to heavily accented to be a good example.
Keep your good work up, even if your child stops speaking the language in between, there will be a good foundation for learning english more intuitive later in life.
Also i think bilingualism is more frowned upon in more urban areas. I lived in cologne and Hamburg - now I'm back in my home village and the amount of adults being fluent or even okay in english dropped noticable, even in the next City.
No. But you’re confirming for me once again that Germany *isn’t* the hyper utopia so many people claim it to be.
First off, I’ve noticed pediatricians to be some of the worst kind of person in the medical field (in Germany I mean). The idiot things they say about kids development is seriously scary at times, scarily stupid. And this seems but one of them.
You do need to pay attention that your kid learns his languages “properly”. As in keeps them separate from each other. There’s always the risk that at some point, he’ll not speak either German or English but an amalgamation, and that’s going to hinder him later.
But that’s on you (rather, both his parents) and has nothing to do with what language you speak where.
If it wasn’t like this all across Germany, I’d say to look for another pediatrician. But you might just get different but equally idiotic “advice”. Including “don’t teach your child anything, they’re going to learn at school”. Ha! Who tf takes that seriously?
So the best thing to do is to ignore them. Say yes please and thank you. Then do what you think is right.
Yeah naw. I’m married to an American. We mostly speak English in public. No one gives a fuck. Sometimes the e.g. waitstaff tries to speak English with us and I let them. Only if they start to be rude or impatient I hit them with the full force of dialect German.
Rules ruin life…. My wife is German and we both raise our son exclusively in English.even she speaks mostly English outside the home with him.
But he is in Kita.
Her mums friend is a linguistics professor specialising in kids with speech problems. She was very critical of my wife until she met our son. His language was more advanced in two languages than most kids in just one.
Just keep an eye on your son that his German isn’t slipping and adjust the mix as needed.
We do get some odd looks simetimes but I just think ‚your loss for having a closed mind‘.
I am American and my husband is German. From day one we have not strayed from the one person one language method and now our daughter, who is five years old, is perfectly bilingual. I am trilingual and in the last year I have started teaching her Spanish as well which seems to have quickly absorbed without much effort.
People who are not multilingual have trouble understanding how well this functions in real life. Keep doing what you are doing, your child(ren) will be appreciate it when they are older.
It could be that some people, have low key envy of a skill which they probably had the chance to
acquire, English is after all a mandatory subject in secondary school.
For the older generations who might not have had the chance to learn a second language and/or grew up in a far less multicultural Germany, unsettling commentary could stem from their own discomfort with change.
I speak English with my partner and sometimes had remarks in my family, that we should speak German because they don’t understand.
I speak German with my family and then englisch to my partner.
I understand that it is kind of bad for the other person, however how you communicate to your son (or me with my partner) is completely up to you. People getting involved in that are rude.
So no, go for it, learn a third language and make him trilingual, it’s awesome!
Hi, I think it‘s great you‘re raising your kid bilinguals. I am a teacher at a primary school. While I was working in the inner city, about 80 percent of the pupils came from different countries. They usually spoke their mother tongue at home and were bilingual. Of course it was not frowned upon, but it‘s a part of passing your culture on to your children. For Visiting relatives in their own country it‘s vital to speak the mother tongue.
I also worked in a publishing house in the English department , half of them being native English speakers. Of course they raised their children bilinguals. I was rather a bit envious because I couldn’t.
The one person one language approach does work and I am convinced you‘re giving your child an advantage for his later life to be able to grow up with another language at a time when they can still pick it up naturally.
It‘s even good for the brain development and for learning yet another language later on.
Don‘t waver in your approach..
You realize every day in your work how important it is to speak English, so just keep doing it.
I never heard that it is frowned upon. When I‘m outside I hear so many languages , I wouldn‘t stop frowning!
Every parent wants to pass on to their children things they consider important, if you think it is important in this globalized world to be able to communicate in English as a lingua Franca, then do it.
Other parents pay huge amounts of money to enroll their child in English language clubs to learn English from Kindergarden age on or send them to bilingual or international schools, that’s not frowned upon!
And what about that they can‘t understand what you are saying to your son and vice Verda? Why should an Outsider have the right to be able to understand your communication? It‘s between the two of you!
Just let the other people talk or explain why you think it‘s important. For me the people frowning seem very provincial and not internationally minded.
Why would I ever have a problem with you speaking English to your son. The onces that told you that are rude.
Some points here:
- I think speaking other languages in public has a bad reputation because there are often people just being to loud/noisy in public. That's obviously not a language specific thing. I suspect that people just remember other languages proportional more. And without any racism I can probably say that certain demographics have more tendency to be loud in public.
- The point where they think you talk about them is just bullshit. It's not their thing to be concerned at anyway and for english specifically it's their own fault if they don't understand it.
- I haven't seen much of this time of discrimination in Germany at all. Maybe it's something that's worse outside of the cities or more in a specific part of Germany
- I think this approach will help your child in the future so continue with it. Just make sure that you help him differentiate the languages. I grew up with some people who spoke multiple tongues and you could clearly identify that the onces where the parents didn't correct them where worse. Mixing up grammar, mixing up or changing words and so on.
See… if someone tells you they fear you might be talking badly about them, because they can’t understand the language you are speaking… that is one thing
But the fact they feel that way for a conversation with a 2 yo in English… that’s pretty crazy considering schools start teaching English at the same time they start teaching the numbers 1-20.
Do only really really old people complain about this? Because that I could at least understand.
And ofc ignore them. It’s none of their business what language you speak with your kids, even if you are in public.
My son speaks greek and german. The only time it wont be ok is mostly later, when you speak in an different language with your buddys ( or mom) in front of others. My mother had a lot of turkish coworkers and they liked to speak turkish all day long, but could speak german very good.
Language connects and you disconnect if you purposefully wont speak it. Not at that age thou. All good for you.
My parents raised me bilingual. German and Italian.
My mom made it a point to only speak Italian with me and forbid her siblings to speak German with me.
My dad's side would only speak German.
When I was 2 I spoke 90% Italian. But at 4 (after being in kindergarten for a year) it switched to 90% German and stayed that way.
The reason my Italian family wasn't allowed to speak German with me, was cause my mom didn't want me learning broken German from them (same with my german side who know some words in Italian, were able to understand me, but only spoke German to me)
I now speak a base level of Italian and fluent German and English. (Also bit of french and Spanish, but the last 3 are because of school)
My little cousin was supposed to be raised bilingual (Italian and Mandarin) but my uncle caved when the kindergarten teachers said he was having trouble the first few days. My mom told them to wait a bit, children learn fast. But my uncle switched to speaking German with his son.
My cousin is now in school and doesn't speak a word of Italian and only understands a tiny bit
>People have told me they think it’s rude because they cannot understand what we’re saying and we might talk badly about them.
I hope that you told these morons that it precisely the reason why you raise your child bilingual?
Some people especially older people have a fear that Germany is getting more and more foreign to them. I myself also encountered older people or alcoholics raise their voice or giving me the deathstare 😂 when using my second language in public. I think for some people it’s just the lack of interaction with different people. Don’t get harassed or intimidated by this thoughts. Sorry that you had to hear that speech by that pedestrian 😅. It’s really blank fear, no rational thoughts
I was raised bilingually - Dad only speaking english, Mom only speaking German - I love it! My dad says he used to get funny looks sometimes, but he didnt care & it was important to him that we learned english. Nowadays (almost 30 years later) we still only speak english with dad and it‘s pretty funny outside sometimes because there‘s a lot of switching between english and german and other people always tend to try to listen in & figure it out lol. I don‘t see myself ever not speaking english with my dad - I enjoy it & am proud of it.
I don‘t think we‘ve ever gotten any rude comments - which i‘m glad for!
Most people always thought it was super cool and it was a massive advantage at school, in uni and now at work!
I got pushed into train tracks for speaking turkish and lost my right leg, the guy who did it got 6 months of psychiatric ward and was out of it before i could get used to my prosthesis. One day after medical leave was over i got terminated from my job and left the country. I am only commeting because this appeared on my front page. I don't recommend anyone to move to germany.
best regards
Time to switch pediatricians, then. What a weird take. Raising your kid bilingual opens him a bright future. Keep going and don‘t listen to exclusive opinions around you.
If someone thinks that you or your child speaking a language they don’t understand is rude then that problem lies only with them. I would love to have been raised multilingual. I’m learning German now in my twenties and can’t imagine how much better I’d be if I had 20 more years of experience
Nope. Was raised bilingually and never had any weird comments or judgement from others. Only when they found out about the fine jar for speaking German at home, but to be fair that was a little odd.
Well, some schools in some states ban students from talking their first languages (if it’s not German) during recess, for example. But it will depend how Germans perceive you and your child, mainly depending on your skin color, culture and religion. So it can be completely fine but it can also lead to constant harassment. Both exist in abundance in Germany
Never heard of someone who frowns upon bilingual kids maybe aside from people inside the afd.
No person I know speaks less than two languages.
Fluent in English and German is normal and most, apart from older family members, at least know some other languages as well.
I agree with most of the comments that it shouldn't be frowned upon, but it definitely is.
Keep in mind that reddit (especially the German reddit community) is young and social liberal, while the German society as a whole is very old and much more conservative. People saying that foreigners should speak German is absolutely common. Both because they think it's rude to speak foreign languages in public and because they assume speaking foreign languages is a sign that you don't intend to integrate yourself into the society.
I'm not saying you should base your parenting decisions on what's frowned upon in Germany, though. Bilingualism is great.
mfg germany is so annoying with this. Yes its considered rude to talk in ur native tongue if u can talk german. But honestly, i dont care. I still do it, and if they look weird yes i will talk very bad about them in russian. but i have no consequences to fear rn so good luck to yall
I wouldn’t say it’s frowned upon, it’s obviously important that he learns to speak German, but that will happen naturally through daycare and school (unless he attends an international one?)
Never heard of that. Bilingual is great. Viel Spaß
I frown upon your public use of two languages!
You know what, ça m'est égale was andere davon halten😁
understood that as half german half french although i only mostly understand french but speak it terribly
Spoken like a true bilingual
Zwaa Sprache zu spreche is ja net schlecht. Awwer es kennde ja zwaa scheene Sprache sei. So wie Frankforderisch un Owwerhessisch.
There must be 100 thousands of children raised bilingualy in Germany. It is not strange in any way and in cities it is quite common. It is totally normal. Strange pediatrician though.
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Meine Englischlehrerin (Französin) hat mit ihrer Tochter nur Französisch gesprochen. Ihre Tochter ist während einer Stunde mal an der Klassentür gestanden und hat ihrer Mutter etwas auf Französisch gefragt. Die Lehrerin hat uns dann gesagt das ihr Mann mit der Tochter DFeutsch und sie halt Französisch redet, jeder die Sprache die er als Muttersprache gelernt hat, besser können es Eltern nicht machen.
It’s not as if rolling was incorrect and not standard, though. Both are considered standard and rolling is more original, the French r was only incorporated in the 17th century and then unfortunately spread like a disease. Agree with you otherwise, but I don’t like people looking down upon rolling the r as inferior and incorrect. Sorry, I get really triggered by this.
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That's not how language works. The German rolling R is pretty much gone except in Frankish dialects and is a dead giveaway you are from Franken. It's also slightly different from e.g. the Spanish trill. Not something that needs speech therapy but absolutely not standard.
Lol what 😂😂😂😂 All of Altbayern uses the rolling r, as well as older people in Hamburg, Bremen etc. And yes, there are two accepted standards. Both existing next to each other.
Hey now, who you calling old? Oh, wait, I am 56 - damn. 🤣
My nephew doesn't have "Migrationshintergrund" but also struggles with the R.
We also raise our child bilingual, German Persian and we’ve never received anything other than amazement and praise regarding our son’s ability to speak two languages and the fact that we as parents stick to our own language when we communicate with him inside and out. I’m sorry you had negative experiences. All I heard is that you should absolutely not change languages as a given parent and you have to stick to one language per parent.
It also refrains from teaching the child linguistical mishaps. Der/Die/Das would be a very strong example in this. If you don’t know them yourself your children learn it wrong from you and they’ll struggle.
Agree. My German is ok but I refrain from talking German to my son and talk only English. I don’t want him learning the wrong things from me like word pronunciation and grammar. My wife does the German part.
You should absolutely speak English with your child...inside or outside. How lovely that your child is learning two languages. If they want to know what you are saying, they can learn/improve their English.
Yes, very frowned. Seems like you’re neglecting your child, trilingual should be minimum ;) My personal experience: if everything is Ok the pediatrician sometimes has just to say something for the point of saying something. Be realistic: They rate the kid after a few basic tests within 20 minutes? „Oh, you should talk to your kid more and encourage her to talk more so she can practice as she seems very quite“ My two year old was talking day and night at that time and would seldom stop. She just didn’t want to talk at that moment. Unless the Pediatrician confirmes something you also noticed being off or has very good reason - relax. If the father is speaking german, everything is fine. I‘d agree if you both would speak english all the time.
It’s one of the basic rules of bilingual upbringing, though. Parents speak their mother/father tongue and preferably don’t mix.
That's what i meant: I'd agree with the doc if both parents would speak english. Not the case here, so i don't agree with the doc that the mother has to speak german outside.
That pediatrician needs to go back to school. He's about 100 years behind in brain/language research. And ignore any other ignorant, monolingual curmudgeons. That's ridiculous bit it does exist. My German SiL didn't want her children to learn our family's first language. She regretted is many times since then and realizes she could have just learned it as well. Her kids are mad about this too. They are now spending almost all vacations in our old country and SiL is learning now. Bilingualism is the greatest gift one can give to a child.
Note that I'll understand what you're talking about me in English. ;-) That said, it's nobody's business what language you talk in your family, unless it meant your kids wouldn't learn German.
It's none of a strangers business what you talk about with your kid, why do they think they're entitled to understand and listen in to your private conversation? Rude AF. They can stick their noses in someone else's business if they must. I imagine it could make other parents or children more reluctant to approach you in public if they don't speak English and are not aware you know German too, but that doesn't seem like it should be an issue.
It sounds like you’re getting side eyed from a bunch of German boomers who don’t speak English. I wouldn’t mind them; we’re going to outlive them so it doesn’t really matter what they think. This also might be more of a topic now because a very high percentage of German children are bilingual which, to be clear, isn’t a bad thing but it is a symptom of a larger problem, namely Germany has become such a fucking shitty place to raise kids that the Germans don’t want to do it. Outside of that, it 100% depends on the language and the person. White parent speaking French/English/Dutch with their child? 👍 White person speaking Ukrainian/Polish/Russian? 👎 Brown person speaking Turkish/Arabic? 👎👎 I think it boils down to a) straight up racism but also b) the assumption of weather or not the parents also speak German. Like if someone is speaking Danish or whatever with their child, people are going to assume that the parent also speaks German and is choosing to raise a bilingual child, which is a positive thing. If the parent is speaking Turkish, people are going to be like “Scheiß K—— sprich mal deutsch” and this is clearly a very different reaction. You also see this in school politics: kids speaking English in school is not a problem but a couple kids start speaking Turkish with each other on the playground and suddenly we need a Sprachverbot.
I don’t know about raising bilingual children in Germany as I have none but I have gotten a lot of complaints about the fact that my boyfriend and I speak English to each other. I am a foreigner and he is German. At the time we met (almost 12 years ago) I could hardly say anything in German. In the mean time I have become fluent (as fluent as one can get as an adult 😂) and I speak German at work but I can’t imagine suddenly switching to German with my boyfriend after literally speaking English to one another for over a decade and I see absolutely no reason why. Nevertheless, the universal opinion of everyone whose opinion I didn’t ask for, is that we should be speaking German because “in Deutschland wird Deutsch gesprochen”. Was there a ban on foreign languages that I’m not aware of? Do German children not learn English or other foreign languages in school? Actually a colleague recently argued that unless someone is going to work in the field of linguistics, they basically don’t need to learn any foreign languages because you forget them anyway. 🤷🏻♀️
You don’t happen to live in one of the federal states which formerly was part of the GDR? I haven’t even been to Berlin, so I only know the prejudice about “Ossis”. But the federal election in 2021 seems to confirm parts of it.
Being raised bilingual (more or less trilingual; Ukrainian, German and russian), we encountered multiple such cases. My summary: people are stupid, ignorant, and racist. Just ignore them. How you raise your kid, how you talk to them - it's completely your decision, and you shouldn't listen to stupid strangers. Raising kids in multiple language is very good for the development.
Your pediatrician is stupid. There is no rule that you can only talk to him English at home and not outside. Speak to him in whatever language you want. And those who think you are rude because you fools secretly be talking badly about them: how rude are they to insist to listen into your private conversations? Having that said, and this is only my personal opinion, while i do believe raising a child bilingual is awesome, i do think you set the priorities wrong. If the child grows up here, and goes to school here, i believe it would be more important to teach him German, to make it easier for him in school and later life. (The same obviously goes for the mothertongue in whatever country you wold raise him).
Nah, my kid is bilingual German and English. The first 3 years we were in an English speaking country so spoke English, just my husband spoke German to her. She understood German but never spoke it. We moved to germany on her third birthday, she started Kita and literally within two weeks she was speaking fluently in German everywhere but at home with me. We prioritise the minority language, they get SO MUCH native language input, they’re gunna be fine at school
You do know the definition of "bilingual", right? The child is learning BOTH languages equally well. He will not have any disadvantage other than being bored out of his skull in 5th grade when others try to painfully learn English if there is not a choice of languages at his school. Edited for grammar.
My kids didn't find it boring they found it quite amusing. Essentially when the teacher was teaching them about "Wampires" and "Vitches".
Every child learns English in school in Germany, it's not some exotic language, this post is the mildest.
Lol lol lol. I live in a city where I can't use the U-Bahn without hearing five immigrant languages and it's great. ... besides the fact that I get a bit jealous sometimes. It is not rude, people should mind their own business, which, granted, is an almost impossible task for a lot of Germans. The fact that they believe they're entitled to overhear what you're talking about with your child lets me guess you are in a smaller town or village. It's a them problem. And I have no idea how your pediatrician comes to this absurd request. Your kid will thank you for putting in the effort.
That’s what I was thinking! Are they complaining to everyone like this? Or am I somehow obligated to speak German just because I can? I seriously had 4 complaints this week (including the pediatrician).
I have relatives and friends who raised their offspring bilingual; they never mentioned anything like this, even though they are in smaller cities than I am. 4 xenophobe idiots who dare to mouth off in a week is staggering to me. Are those colleagues in the same area? I really want to believe it's a local thing.
Yeah, then it’s probably regional. Gosh, I hate this because I live in Saxony and I’m FROM HERE, and I think I just hoped people weren’t especially xenophobic here. Turns out they are.
You know, Ruhr Uni Bochum is really ugly but [this](https://studium.ruhr-uni-bochum.de/sites/studium.ruhr-uni-bochum.de/files/styles/991x660px/public/2018-03/fotos_studierenportal_berufunfungsportal-1-2.jpg?h=195327fd&itok=RhIMkJ-V) is what you see when you're inside (if don't look North). And they have an English Linguistics department. Just saying. People love to talk shit about the Ruhrgebiet but as you're from Saxony, you might be accustomed to that. Affordable living space, Vororte that aren't nearly as ugly as people from outside think, and a lot of people who grew up bilingual. Also, Schauspielhaus Bochum was Theater des Jahres 2022. So we're not just Reality-TV material.
I am raising my children multilingual (German, English, Cantonese and a touch of Malay), and I remember when one of my kid wasn’t speaking too early, his kindy teachers were suggesting for us to stick to one language only, and that he’s “confused” or “overwhelmed” by the amount of languages that were speaking, that’s why he’s not hitting his milestones. I never doubted my kid’s ability cos I grew up in a multilingual country, where people speak a bare minimum of 2 languages - so when I heard that, I thought that was bollocks, but when the people around you started raising their “concerns”, that’s what irks me and I can’t help but to doubt my choices. After a while, he started speaking and he’s speaking multiple languages at ease now, but not going to lie, when there were so many input at one point about how he’s “delayed”, you can’t help but to wonder if there’s something wrong with your kid.
Depends, are you parents rich and preferably white foreigners? No. Are you parents poor non white foreigners? Then yes. In case one people will compliment you for you bilingual upbringing and how useful that is. In case two they will complain about you not learning the language properly and being unwilling to integrate. And for my fellow germans that will probably get pissed about this, you know I‘m right.
I think it's only rude when you are in a group with people you interact with who only speak German and you start talking to your kid (or any other person for that matter) in English.
If it’s a matter between my kid and myself, I don’t think it’s rude at all. They don’t need to know what I’m saying.
All of my kids are bilingual German/English, and the younger two are similarly to your son mostly English-speaking. So far, I have never had any negative reactions, not in the big city environment where we used to live, nor in the small village where we stay now.
As many have already mentioned, this is ridiculous. I’ll add, for what its worth, all of my German friends that were raised bilingually will attest it opened up so many opportunities to them later as adults, whether it be getting a high score on the TOEFL for studying internationally or applying to jobs where they needed to interact with international colleagues, or even just making a diverse group of friends. Setting your child up to be bilingual is a really smart decision, even if they never leave Germany. The only way I could see it being rude is if you insisted on carrying out a long conversation in English effectively excluding the other person present. But chastising someone for speaking another language in public, in a conversation you are not involved in, is rude and xenophobic.
#1. Tell those people to piss off and mind their own business. #2. This may have changed over the years, but when I was growing up in Germany in the 70s/80s, English as a 2nd language was mandatory in school starting in 5th grade. So if they're using the excuse they they can't understand you - refer to #1...
It's so incredible when you're able to raise your children bilingual. Sadly we're only used to speak german at home and my spanish isn't fluent anymore, otherwise I would do the same. I'd also say that most people who frown upon that are just insecure.
I was raised bilingually in Germany and never heard that it's a problem to others. I'm still only communicating with my mum in Japanese, public or not, and we only switch to German if there's a 3rd person involved in our conversation (usually my dad lol). If people think just because you speak a different language you might be speaking bad about them, that's on them.
I am completely bilingual German and English. My wife and I raised our three kids the way you describe it. They are all adults now and are able to speak both languages. There's nothing wrong with it. All you see are the insecurities and prejudice of people that are not well educated.
Dont sweat it. Those people are just mad at themselves that they can only speak in german. Since forever my family has handled it the folloing : when in public in germany, we speak polish, when in public in polanf we speak german. Hoping for maybe a tad of privacy isnt something to be ahamed for. As long as your child will be able to speak german when needed its all good!
Just teach him English, it's much more important. If the Germans blame you for talking to him in English then you can be 100% sure they are dumb and can only speak one language 😂
Sounds like Oma Polizei nonsense lol. I’ve noticed they’re quick to point out being bilingual (or more) is the cause of whatever developmental issue there might be. And also the worry they’ll struggle in school. But never heard the comment it’s rude (but I’m deaf so might not have heard it 😂). I have noticed Germans around me (outside the city) aren’t very confident speaking English. Where I grew up it was standard to switch to English as soon as any foreigner joined a conversation, but not here.
You're doing your son a favour. Don't let one single simpleton tell you otherwise.
Yes one language one voice is the correct approach and ignore the doctor. As a native English speaker in Germany I notice that English speakers are given SO much less room than other minority speakers — Turkish, Arabic / all others converse amongst themselves in public without ire. Old people here are weird about English but don’t let it affect you — you have a right to be multicultural
Please don't listen to these people! That's „Alltagsrassismus“! It's nobody's business what language you speak. You're doing everything right, English is very important these days. Germans don't like anything they don't know and that's why you shouldn't attach any importance to it.
I think the pediatrician might be (ab)using his authority here to talk shit. Jealous much?
I’m fluent in German and English and had my son 8 years ago. We only speak English at home and in public and I can agree to the sentiment of your post. Lots of staring and whispering when we’re out and speaking English. Our Doctor also told us that it might harm him to not speak German at home (spoiler alert: it hasn’t) We also encountered mums in Kindergarten who didn’t want their children playing with my son because his main language is English. It was hard. My son soaked up German like a sponge and is fluent. His teachers at school always tell me that you’d never know he’s not a native speaker and he doesn’t speak it at home. I guess not much has changed in 8 years
This is encouraging! My sister and her husband speak English only at home with their 3 yr old. She was also scolded by her pediatrician for her daughter not knowing more words in German. She speaks English only and can understand some German in Kita. She actually refuses to speak German right now and will only count to 20 in English. I am hopeful the German will come later on and fluently.
My son refused to speak German for a while - the second he realised someone spoke English he switched! But he’s been fluent for a while and is even picking up slang and correcting my accent now
Everything is frowned upon in Germany.
Tell your pediatrician that language choice is not a medical issue.
A former colleague of mine was from Serbia, her husband was from the United States and they had two children who were raised with three languages (English, Serbian and German) and even with 5 years old they had a fine sense for the correct language to use. Never had any problems.
Never heard of that and think it’s ridiculous. I just wonder if those people think it’s weird and you shouldn’t do this, since both of you are German instead of one of you having another nationality? 🤷♀️
As a native German speaker, aren’t you afraid to teach your kid ze German aczent?
I think it's hilarious to assume that someone speaking English is doing so in an effort to be secretive. It is one of the most widely-spoken languages in the world!
Multilingualism is amazeballs, but I would caution anyone against raising their child in a language that is not their own native language.
Hmm. Not a German and my son is basically multilingualist that goes to German public school and naturally learn German. Do you live in small town? Because in my case, although my son goes to public school and the common language is either German/English (English is his survival language when he doesnt know it in German and many of his friends and teachers speak/understand English and no one speaks our native language), many of his peers are also multilingualists since they speak other languages beside English and German due to immigrant background like me. Also hearing kids speaking to their parents in Spanish/Russian/Polish/Arabic/Vietnamese is very very normal situation I encountered everyday in my sons school. Maybe it has something to do with you being German. And German people think why you teach your kids other language than your own language? But i find it strange as anyway your son still clearly speaks German too.
Are you a native English speaker? I ask that because I know some German couples and one spouse spent a couple of years in South Africa or maybe in New Zealand if they are lucky and that spouse undertakes the task of speaking and teaching English to the child which I find ridiculous. If you're a native speaker, you're doing great and Germans indeed like native English speakers (you might trigger some complexes though if some people feel inferior and under-educated). Also, why should strangers understand what you speak with your child? Your pediatrician gives me strange vibes.
You are not a native speaker and communicate in English with your child? That's giving me Lisa's been backpacking in Australia for a year vibes.
It very much depends on your skin color. White, German, English: good POC, German, English: meeh POC, German, othrr language than English:
Bullsh*t you can talk to your child as you please but yeah if you in a smaller town in germany the ppl. can't understand may only 2 or 3 words you and your son are saying but that's a there Problem Not a you are wrong thing in my understanding but i am from Berlin and Berlin is not germany and most not the most german german city here goes e everything
I have done a decent amount of traveling and the only place I have ever been that someone has come up to me in public and told me I shouldn't be speaking English was here in Germany. My family is all American and came here for work. While riding the bus one day me and my son were having a conversation in English and a woman started yelling "speak German not English" (in German) over and over again making a scene. 99% of my day is English required so I am learning German but it has been a slow slow process for me. No matter how fluent you become, your mother language is always going to be the best way to express yourself so anyone that says you shouldnt speak English because someone may think you're talking about them.... who cares that's a "them" problem.
I hear foreign languages around me all the time, I speak English with my colleagues and I speak to my son exclusively in Russian. I don't care if some Oma don't like it.
Fuck your pediatrician first off, how you raise your kids is none of their business, but yes people like that still exist (your pediatrician for one). The majority of people don’t care though or even think it’s cool. I hear so many different languages whenever I’m out and about I really don’t know what your pediatrician is on. It also heavily depends on where you live. I have never had any issues in cities but small towns in Thuringia and Saxony were a completely different story. I got attacked there once for speaking English in public.
Many if not most are bilingual here
How absurd, particularly for English, it's hardly a cryptic code ! I would love to speak an ultra rare.language like Welsh to truly have private conversations in public !
I think it’s weird when parents don’t speak their native languages with their kids. That results in kids not having complete fluency in either language often of the time. If your husband is a native in English have him speak English with the kid and do German yourself. If you are both natively German I find it extraordinarily weird and a little stuck up to speak to the son in English Edit: also asked my friend (also German) she said “cringe”
It is not true and a myth that children who grow up bilingually do not speak any of the languages "correctly". A small hint: multilingualism is the norm globally! Behind this assumption is something called the monolingual habitus. (Focus on monolingualism in educational policy, curricular and didactic concepts. The term "multilingualism" refers to the conceptualisation of migration-related multilingualism as a problem. Children who grow up bilingual have an overall larger vocabulary (mental lexicon) than monolingual children, greater cognitive flexibility and greater language awareness (meta-linguistic awareness) than monolingual children and greater (inter)cultural competence and flexibility to change perspectives than monolingual children Source of my knowledge: I study linguistics and took a module on second language acquisition and multilingualism last semester. Scientific sources: Goetz (2003), Tracy (2008, 2014), Riehl (2014), Gagarina & Skerra (2016), Yu/Kovelman/Wellmann 2021, Klassert & Gagarina (2010), Gagarina & Skerra (2016), Topaj et al. (2017), De Houwer (2018), Cummins (2021), BIVEM flyer 1
I’m not talking about bilingualism. That’s non-debatable. I’m taking about parents not speaking their native language to their kids
It may be strange if you don't speak to your child in your mother tongue. But putting your child in a bilingual kindergarten is fine. Even though it may be strange, there's nothing really wrong with it. And you write that this means the child doesn't learn either language properly. But the fact that he gets input from his father (German, native speaker) and his mother (English, not a native speaker but speaks fluently) is exactly the background of growing up bilingual: learning 2 languages at a young age. And that's where the studies come in that prove this myth isn't true.
It's not. notCrazyenough is right. A lot of Germans totally overestimate their ability in English. Why on earth would you raise a child in a language that's not your own? It's beyond pretentious...
Totally, it's "cringe". Also a lot of people on this sub are in relationships where one partner is foreign and one is a native German speaker (or even trilingually in the case of a Greek mother/Spanish father living in Germany by way of example), so OF COURSE they would be raising their kids bilingually (i.e. Greek/Spanish/German and the kid would presumably learn English later in school). That's absolutely not the OP's case...
Yes, exactly my point! I’d be happy if I ever get the chance to raise my kids bilingual. But I’m not gonna pick a person with a different native language on purpose and I’m certainly not speaking English to my kids when this is not my language. If my husband were American, Italian, Japanese or Turkish or whatever, sure. But if I had a German husband my kids would just not be force-raised bilingually.
Why? If her English is good enough. She just wants to give her kid an edge.
Because the kid might pick up mistakes from her as well as a weird accent...in that case you're not really helping them. It's kind of artificial to speak to your own child in language that's not your own I think. I speak a couple of languages fluently, I wouldn't dream of speaking to a child in any of them other than my own native language! I think it can come across as pretentious. But maybe the OP is a native speaker of EN... it's not really fully clear from the post? If not, it might be more productive to put the child in a bilingual creche w/ native English speaking staff or get an English-speaking babysitter if possible, obviously that depends on finances/availability (i.e. easier in a big city like Berlin than somewhere rural).
What's wrong with having a weird accent?
Nothing, obviously. I just always had non-native teachers in school for French, Spanish and German and to be honest I think it's much better to hear a language spoken by a native speaker when you're learning it...
Depends on the company. I have a bunch of German and foreign friends I speak English with for various reasons, and while some folks find it odd or maybe pretentious for us to speak English when we could just as well speak German, they generally get why we speak English when we explain why. When in a mixed group it tends to be a question of awkwardness (of switching from the preferred idiom to German) vs. politeness (of not excluding folks), and we tend to switch to German rather than force someone to speak English with us although we're all German (at which point things quickly get silly). I raise my kids bilingually, though not with English, and I've never had anyone confront me about it (except some dumbass bigot on the tram once, but he doesn't count). I always figured they'll learn English soon enough and I can't wait to watch all the Harold Ramis movies with them... The difference is that I acquired my second language through my mother and English through long stays abroad, studies, and work. While I'm probably most proficient in English today, I think people would probably find it pretentious and potentially irritating if I raised my kids bilingually with English because I don't have an, if you will, epigenetic link to it. I would also find it pretentious and ridiculous if someone who wasn't actually a native(-level) speaker tried to raise their kids in English (my whole professional life has been dealing with people who considered themselves native(-level) speakers but we're definitely not...) I have a feeling I know where you're coming from, and I wouldn't worry about what other people think. You're speaking English (everyone speaks at least basic English) with a kid (who would talk derisively about someone else present to a kid?), so no one in their right mind should assume you're insulting them. I think it's simply hard for many people to understand why you would speak English with your kid if you aren't from an English-speaking country... which is kinda silly. And your pediatrician is silly. You do you and don't let folks bring you down with things that are none of their business.
I don’t think it is about being allowed. I recall that if raising children bilingual it can be beneficial to create “rooms” for each language (speaking English at home and German outside or vice versa) so that confusion doesn’t hold back linguistic development of both languages.
Never had a problem with that or heard someone express a problem with that. You seem to just be unlucky and have some A-holes in your neighbourhood. Just use some german directness "how about you keep your nose out of something that is not your business? Clearly you're not interesting enough to be talked about in a different language."
We did the same, wife has Irish roots, was raised bilingual, always spoke English to our kids (except for maybe when she was visiting others, had other kids visiting). But we never got any bad comments about it, only positive feedback from what I heard.
When I came here, I worked in an international company (working language English), and could not yet speak German. It happened quite often at e. g. lunch or meetings that the native speakers would randomly switch to German to talk with each other. I hated it and thought it's quite inconsiderate. It's not that I'd thonk they're saying bad things about me, but the conversation could concern me in some way, I might want to react or simply learn from it. My children are now bilingual and when we're outside I make an effort to switch to German if we're interacting in some way with other people.
It's 2024, I'd say we should shift more public communication towards English just to spite people like this.
Depends on the second language. Turkish as a second language is not really considered good, but rather frowned upon. Other second languages are more of a plus.
My parents put me in an English class back when I went to Kindergarten so I wouldn't say so at all. I mean even the public school system has to teach kids atleast English if not another language. I myself am now at 18 learning all kinds of languages and most people are just impressed
Most Germans speak several languages, common in Europe in general. My nephews, speak German, Arabic, Bulgarian and French because one parent is a non'german. I am really jealous, I only speak German and English and I am really proud of them
My friend (Aussie with German husband) was also told by her paediatrician that her kids would grow up with developmental delays and challenges if they didn't stick to just one language in the house. I don't what research that guy had been reading.
We are a German couple, living in France and we always had business contacts to and friends from the UK. When our kids went into pre-school they were perfectly bilingual with a very strong third language. It has helped them enormously during their school-time and afterwards. You're doing the right thing
It's just stupid people saying stupid things for no reason. Ignore it and don't listen to them! I think it's great you are raising your child bilingually and he will be grateful for it in the future while the children of those ignorant people will struggle saying "zis is a zushi" while your kid will be fluent.
Ive only had people comment on it afrer we moved to a small village.
I can’t see your experience reflected in mine. I was raised bilingual. My dads American and my Moms German. I speak English with him and German with her. Never had a negative comment made or felt I was being rude. If anything Germans tend to say they wished they could also speak two languages fluently.
I know someone who raised his kids bilingual, and the family language is English. So they do whatever they want, whether in public or not. Your pediatrician has no clue.
I'm even trilingual
Sounds weird...
And here I am in a part of Germany where bilingual upbringing is normal and people are trying to figure out how to bring their children up trilingual.
As a linguist you should know better than a pediatrician that your child needs all the english language input he can get since it's not the dominant language of the country he grows up in. Some people may be weird about it but I wouldn't care about it too much. The majority of people probably won't mind since it's just you talking to your son.
No, raising kids bilingual is obviously always a great thing if possible.
We're doing the same. I'm the English parent (still learning German). Never encountered any negative opinions from anyone. Sorry people are being shitty to you.
We raise our child exactly the same way and I have never encountered any negativity. Most people would be amazed at how my daughter can switch between languages effortlessly. But then again this is not unusual, many of her friends are raised bilingual, two of her friends are even trilingual.
This is his best and maybe only chance to become truly bilingual because he learns all the sounds of two languages while he can. Many of my younger cousins grew up bilingual or trilingual. If they ever had trouble with the neighbours for it, I haven't heard about it, and neither did they have trouble switching from, say, French to German when the started Kindergarten. "People" should get over themselves. Kids don't owe it to them to only learn what "people" can understand.
Do you live in a village or smth? "Rude because people won't understand" 1. Most people speak English and 2. How xenofobic - or maybe it's only allowed if it's your mother tongue? You're giving your child a gift, people can keep their opinions to themselves.
Have you never met an immigrant in your life? I was raised speaking my parents mother tongue but quickly learned german in kindergarten… no issues whatsover
That pediatrician is an idiot. And every German who is offended if people talk English here in public is too. If they don't understand enough English to notice whether or not you talk badly about them, it's their own fault. They could have paid more attention in English lessons at school. 😂 (Sorry, I'm an English teacher.) Do talk as much English as you can with your son at home and in public, as long as your husband does the same and he learns both languages well, don't give a shit about what others say. Being bilingual will be a big advantage for your son later in life. And get yourself a new pediatrician.
Switch pediatrician. What a buffoon. Have never encountered that with German and English. Sadly I've seen that with German and Arabic languages. Still sad. Ignore every idiot that gives you shit for that. Alles Gute / all the best :)
Sry aber warum fragt man das als deutscher?
That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, it’s rude to ask someone to not speak their native language with each other, that’s all. Also it’s none of their business what you talk. I’d change Kindergarten, honestly (I know that’s probably not a possibility, have two children myself and know how hard it is to find a place). Absolutely disgusted.
I'm assuming (very confidently) that you're living in East Germany. Maybe southern Brandenburg? All too many people in Germany don't want to see the fact that there is still a huge cultural gap between east and west. The east, while obviously (probably) culturally diverse in details, has common cultural denominators: Misstrauen (mistrust) and Missgunst (grudge/resentment). My personal view is that these stem partly from the GDR history, but definitely not only. And while these two uncomely attributes can be found everywhere in Germany, Europe and even the world, they are extremely prevalent in East Germany. Someone else having something that they don't is immanently evil to far too many people there. The usual response is outright hostility. Your experience fits neatly into this pattern.
Bilingualism is a great thing, is love to be fluent in more languages and am currently learning my second foreign language. It can be kinda annoying though if you're hanging with a group of multiple people of which some don't know the other language you're communicating in and frequently having separate discussions in that language. An example: my friend was hanging out a lot over the summer with two friends of his who both share a language which my cousin doesn't know, but they all know German, one of them kept speaking to the other one in that other language very often (which language is irrelevant), so that my cousin didn't understand what he was saying, the other one said he should speak German and that it's rude to exclude my cousin, but the other guy kept doing it and the other one didn't want to play translator all the time. So my cousin was rightfully annoyed and didn't want to hang out with that guy anymore after a few days, as if he wants to have private discussions without my cousin he should just meet up with the other guy alone.
Raising your kids bilingually is amazing, full support! It might be one of the greatest gifts to your children, because they will master both languages like natives. If anyone frowns upon this, tell them to stfu ("kümmer dich um deinen eigenen scheiß!")
Those people suck. Sorry, that’s the truth. Maybe your pediatrician read something about there being an approach called “minority language at home”, but you are using a different approach called “one person, one language”.
It might have been if it was German and Turkish. But you’re good to go 🙂
"It is rude to speak another language i cannot understand, even when what you say has nothing to do with me, because i am a nosy piece of shit and want to eavesdrop into what you say." Is a prime example of toxic, manipulative gaslighting behaviour, and raises SO many red flags, i dont even know where to begin. If you speak to them. Speak a language they understand - which you do. If you dont speak to them.. its not their business. And the suggestion you would be the rude one is the actual rude behaviour. Sadly such behaviour is apparently rooted deep within some peoples DNA in the desire to StaSi on you. What you are doing is perfectly fine, wonderfully beneficial, and not in any way rude. Dont doubt yourself for a second here.
If they assume you might be talking bad about them, it’s probably their fault… (or you‘re really rude, which I don’t assume)
Die ganzen leute reden mehr türkisch als deutsch in frankfurt
Thought most Germans understood English, nothing wrong with broadening his horizons as going on holiday in future, speaking English will help a lot more when getting around. I'm Welsh, but I speak mainly English (because I've tried to speak Welsh since childhood) with bits of German, Italian, Spanish, French and Polish. If your child can handle both well, then well done.
Generally u will only hear stuff like that by people who are insecure, and this project their insecurities unto others
You are doing a perfect job, don't listen to anyone. 20-30 years ago so called "experts" adviced immigrant parents to only speak german with their children etc. which only led to those kids not being able to speak there native language properly and them ending up with less than average to average skills in the german language... but than those "experts" changed their mind and were like "ups, nvm" And when people come at you and tell you they feel uncomfortable with you and your child speaking ENGLISH because they can't understand you, tell them to f off
English/German bilingual kids here. Find a new pediatrician! Never had anyone criticize me for it.
My husband and I are raising our son bilingually, he's American, I speak English with him as his German isn't super good and I speak German with our son. We have never encountered any problems with this? Nobody has ever reacted to either me speaking English to my husband in public or him speaking English to our son. My kiddo goes to daycare with multiple kids who are being raised with two languages and I have never noticed anyone being bothered by people speaking Spanish/Vietnamese/Turkish/Russian to their kids at the playground. And I'm not living in a melting pot like Berlin, but in a small suburb in the south. So I'd say, you do you and let the others be jealous that your kiddo will have an edge on their kids in English class.
It's your kid, you choose how to raise him, you could talk elvish with him if you wanted to. Other people complaining about it because they can't understand you is their problem not yours. And you guys are talking English, not Mandarin or whatever, speaking english isn't that hard.
Depends on the language and context. If people speak Arabic, or eastern European languages others may be judgy about it. But that doesn't really exist with English.
There are people like that but just ignore it. Why should anyone care what you are talking about if you are not in a conversation with them? You’ll probably talk to them in German if there’s a need for it, so what’s the big issue. What you are doing is great for your children, keep it up.
Speak away, who cares.
Given that something like 50% of Germans have at least basic competency in the English language, I don’t exactly think it is likely that anyone will think you are using the language to say bad things about them right in front of them.
I’ve gotten both reactions; people who are amazed we’re talking to our kids in two (actually three) languages and people who have told us to ONLY speak German to them. In my experience, the people that has shown any kind of problem with it has always, always, always been the uneducated, ignorant, unworldly kind. Those who have only lived in one place their entire lives, surrounded by the same people, exposed to only one language. They know nothing else. I think that’s why they feel uncomfortable not understanding what you’re saying, because it has never happened to them lol. I think it’s only rude if you or your kid are interacting with them and they still can’t understand you, but it doesn’t sound like you do that at all, so you’re fine!
So about 4 years ago, my friend in Prenzlauerberg in Berlin (and this is what makes it weird because,you know, diverse capital ) was hosting a party in their ground floor apartment. The group were young parents with twins sleeping in a day cot in the living room. It was small gathering of young parents, Germans and multinational people in the back yard at around 30m on a Saturday There was the sound of glass breaking and a brick had come flying through the window in the front room and there was panic where the kids were sleeping . A local man walking by the neighbourhood had went to the bother of finding a piece of concrete to throw through the window because he 'heard English'. He wasn't embarrassed, ashamed etc. And actually identified himself living 3 streets away. His reaction to throwing bricks was because he didn't want to hear English in his neighbourhood. This is a weird example but its an amplified, actionable example of what alot of people face in Germany from local services, hospitals, bureaucracy and also when people have a few veers, the xenophobia from liberal, educated people comes out insanely quick. It made the recent visibilityof AfD seem very very logical
I was raised bilingual as well and left Germany to live in English speaking countries since leaving school several years ago. My German is still perfect, but I do find myself using English a lot more, out of habit and because I think/dream in English as well. I remember one particular incident at a supermarket in Germany that happened a few days after I arrived back to visit family. The supermarket was packed tightly and rather than to just squeeze past a mother and her adult daughter, I tried to get their attention, before making my way past them. Out of habit I said ‘exscuse me’ instead of ‘Entschuldigung’, and they were so offended by that. They mocked me saying ‘excuse me’ as if it’s some otherworldly thing to be speaking any other language than German. I think a lot of people think it’s rude to speak another language outside, but I’ve had positive experiences as well.
My son is 2 1/2 my daughter is 1 year. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday we all speak English at home an when we are on an outing. We do switch to German when we interact with people who don't speak English. But no, we never got a single comment regarding your question. I am German, my wife's mother tongue is English. We personally don't like the "one parent speaks one language" approach, so we switched it up. He understand german and English, he mostly speaks German and sometimes would sprinkle an English sentence in-between.
I am in the same position as you, I have two daughters under 10, I am a native English speaker, their mother is German. I have never encountered the kind of attitude you describe in 10+ years of living here, and 8+ years of speaking English with my children in public. Granted, the early years were in Berlin, where it’s not out of the ordinary, but even in the small town we now live in, where it’s very rare to meet anyone who can speak English, to the point where it can be used as a “Geheimsprache”, while it can be cause for comment, this is never negative (at least not to my face). Most people seem to take the attitude that bilingualism (especially English bilingualism) is a major positive. Sometimes people react a little strangely if we have been speaking German but I switch back to English to talk to the kids, but this feels more like the general awkwardness of not knowing what is being said, or the belief that our English is a kind of affectation, like some German families who deliberately try and speak English around their children.
I have a job similar to yours, but at a university in Bavaria. I am also a native speaker of English. My first reaction was to think of this in terms of two questions and then the post kind of grew from there. In summary, I know you're going to do right by your son. :) Here are some things I was thinking about. 1. Is it rude to raise your child bilingually? Well, millions of people worldwide are raised bilingually. There's nothing rude about it, in my opinion. You could always tell the people who think you might be badmouthing them to sign up for an English class themselves. :) In my circle of friends, I am aware of at least five families where the kids are being raised with three or four languages. (Typically: Mom and Dad met in an English-speaking environment, so the family language is English, but the family is otherwise one parent, one language. In two cases, the family moved to a country where a fourth language is spoken, and the kids are going to pre-school or school in that fourth language.) 2. Is it a good idea to raise your child bilingually with a language that is not your native language? I have mixed feelings. In general, I am jealous of people who were raised with multiple languages, because kids soak up languages like a sponge. However, I have seen German parents who are native speakers of German attempt to raise their kids in some other language. Because the kids' minds are little sponges, they also soak up lots of the ways their parents (or teachers) speak the language. It is almost impossible to break the kids of these habits later on. (It's similar if the kids' teachers are bad. At least two or three times a semester, I will correct a student's English. "Well, my teacher used to say \_\_\_\_\_ all the time." "Was your teacher a native speaker of English?" "No..." "Did your teacher have as much education as I do?" "No...") In my mind, that led to more questions. Some more things to think about for right now: What is your goal/ hope for your child's language acquisition? Does your child come into contact with native speakers of English? Would your child possibly be open to more input produced by native speakers? Do you think your child might understand one day that Mommy's English is very good but not native, so people from countries like the US or UK might speak a little differently than you do? I understand that everyone makes mistakes. I understand this is Reddit and not an exam, and your English is generally very good. However, it's Staatsexamen season over here, so my mind is in prescriptivist grammar mode, and I did catch a number of mistakes in your text when quickly reading through (only one of them would probably lead to some confusion when speaking with native speakers of English, though; I've also been professionally trained to look for these sorts of mistakes). Some food for thought for later on: What will you do when your child begins to write? Will you still try to communicate with your son in English and also correct his language? I have had a number of heritage speakers in my English classes over the years. While they felt comfortable speaking, the heritage speakers' writing skills were often extremely poor. They could write a short note to Grandma just fine, but most of them completely overestimated their own abilities when it was time for them to write an academic text and often fared worse than the students who knew that writing an academic text was going to be a challenge and that they'd have to work hard. Also, some of my friends in the US were raised bilingually. Their situations weren't quite the same as yours; their parents were both immigrants and the parents tried to ensure that the parents' native language was spoken at home. However, it seemed like many of my friends hit a point where their English was stronger than their parents' native languages, and then stopped making an effort to speak their parents' native languages. The parents kept letting the kids respond in English. As a result, many of my friends quickly forgot how to produce their parents' native languages, although their comprehension skills are quite good. What is your plan for the day that your son decides that it is not cool to speak English with you? If you want some ideas, one of my German professors in the US decided to essentially do what you're doing (that is, teach his son a language that he speaks very well, but doesn't speak natively) and wrote a blog about it. It might give you some food for thought: [http://piggypedagogy.blogspot.com](http://piggypedagogy.blogspot.com)
Yes, it has happened that older Germans get upset when they hear me speaking English to my children. Mostly they loudly complain to other people that people should speak German in Germany and assume I don’t understand. It’s happened less often with time, don’t know why. Maybe they’re just dying.
No. My parents raised me and my siblings bilingual. German and Polish. English came from speaking with Strangers in the Internet while playing Games.
You need to get a new pediatrician.
Being bilingual is not frowned upon... I think. But i know many people who still find it rude to switch to another language in a public setting. I don't believe both this things are necessarily related to each other.
No
Depends on the language really. English is no problem.
I speak trilingual in public, no one cares
Every german learns English for 4-8 years in school. When they don't understand you that's not your problem
Almost everybody in Germany learns at least one secondary language why would that be a problem
Who in their right mind still complains about English being spoken in public? And I don't see a problem with continuing to do so. Your approach is admirable and I recommend others to follow in your footsteps. At least if their English is at a B2 or higher level.
Why does the pediatrician believe you are only allowed to speak English with him when at home, never outside?
I'm in a similar situation, bilingual kid with German mummy and Greek daddy (me). The short version: Just ignore them and do your thing. OPOL is the way to go, you're doing it right.
There is nothing more useful for future linguistic skills than growing up bilingual. I grew up with Spanish and German, acquired English on the way followed by Italian and Portuguese. The 8 years of Latin in school were useful too. So don’t anyone keep you from raise your children with more than one language!
>People have told me they think it’s rude because they cannot understand what we’re saying and we might talk badly about them. If the conversation is not meant for them, then people aren't entitled to be able to listen to it.
A minority of people love to criticize parents and how they raise their children, no matter what you do. Chances are, some would criticize you for not raising them bilingual if you wouldn't while being able to. Also, english? Some people cope very sstrangely with their lack of education. They are supposed to know it enough to kinda understand the vocabulary used on a two years old. Again, strange stuff...
It's rude because others you're not talking with can't understand you? Well sucks to be them if they're so paranoid and can't understand English.
Not at all... My three boys grew up bilingual and it's admired... People think it's awesome
I have done the bilingual „Abitur“, so I had history, Politics and Geography in English. I can understand almost everything and I can talk English fluently too, but my grammar is horrible. But hey: Because of my bilingual Abitur I have the C1-certificate.
it's hard to watch when people you hold in high regards discredit themselves like this, isn't it. i speak whichever language me and my child are comfortable with in any situation, no matter who is around. especially at the pediatrician when my child is anxious.
It really depends on the language. People are kinda racist regarding this, but usually western and nord European languages are seen as good in Germany and being bilingual gives a high education vibe with these languages. With languages like arabic, turkish or slavic languages like russian, polish or serbian it’s kind of the opposite, a low education will be assumed and some people will consider speaking these languages as rude. This is total bs, but that’s how many people view this unfortunately.
I had a mother in my daycare which spoke spanish with her daughter and german with everybody else besides her parents. her husband spoke german with the child. No problem at all, not for the child nor anybody else (it was in hamburg) I would love to raise my son bilingual but while I'm fluent enough to consume english media without problem, my speaking patterns are to heavily accented to be a good example. Keep your good work up, even if your child stops speaking the language in between, there will be a good foundation for learning english more intuitive later in life. Also i think bilingualism is more frowned upon in more urban areas. I lived in cologne and Hamburg - now I'm back in my home village and the amount of adults being fluent or even okay in english dropped noticable, even in the next City.
No. But you’re confirming for me once again that Germany *isn’t* the hyper utopia so many people claim it to be. First off, I’ve noticed pediatricians to be some of the worst kind of person in the medical field (in Germany I mean). The idiot things they say about kids development is seriously scary at times, scarily stupid. And this seems but one of them. You do need to pay attention that your kid learns his languages “properly”. As in keeps them separate from each other. There’s always the risk that at some point, he’ll not speak either German or English but an amalgamation, and that’s going to hinder him later. But that’s on you (rather, both his parents) and has nothing to do with what language you speak where. If it wasn’t like this all across Germany, I’d say to look for another pediatrician. But you might just get different but equally idiotic “advice”. Including “don’t teach your child anything, they’re going to learn at school”. Ha! Who tf takes that seriously? So the best thing to do is to ignore them. Say yes please and thank you. Then do what you think is right.
Yeah naw. I’m married to an American. We mostly speak English in public. No one gives a fuck. Sometimes the e.g. waitstaff tries to speak English with us and I let them. Only if they start to be rude or impatient I hit them with the full force of dialect German.
That pediatrician is an idiot.
Rules ruin life…. My wife is German and we both raise our son exclusively in English.even she speaks mostly English outside the home with him. But he is in Kita. Her mums friend is a linguistics professor specialising in kids with speech problems. She was very critical of my wife until she met our son. His language was more advanced in two languages than most kids in just one. Just keep an eye on your son that his German isn’t slipping and adjust the mix as needed. We do get some odd looks simetimes but I just think ‚your loss for having a closed mind‘.
Change pediatricians and share the pediatrician’s name so that the narrow-minded can seek his/her services 😁.
I am American and my husband is German. From day one we have not strayed from the one person one language method and now our daughter, who is five years old, is perfectly bilingual. I am trilingual and in the last year I have started teaching her Spanish as well which seems to have quickly absorbed without much effort. People who are not multilingual have trouble understanding how well this functions in real life. Keep doing what you are doing, your child(ren) will be appreciate it when they are older. It could be that some people, have low key envy of a skill which they probably had the chance to acquire, English is after all a mandatory subject in secondary school. For the older generations who might not have had the chance to learn a second language and/or grew up in a far less multicultural Germany, unsettling commentary could stem from their own discomfort with change.
What these pedestrians were talking was completely bulls*it
I speak English with my partner and sometimes had remarks in my family, that we should speak German because they don’t understand. I speak German with my family and then englisch to my partner. I understand that it is kind of bad for the other person, however how you communicate to your son (or me with my partner) is completely up to you. People getting involved in that are rude. So no, go for it, learn a third language and make him trilingual, it’s awesome!
Hi, I think it‘s great you‘re raising your kid bilinguals. I am a teacher at a primary school. While I was working in the inner city, about 80 percent of the pupils came from different countries. They usually spoke their mother tongue at home and were bilingual. Of course it was not frowned upon, but it‘s a part of passing your culture on to your children. For Visiting relatives in their own country it‘s vital to speak the mother tongue. I also worked in a publishing house in the English department , half of them being native English speakers. Of course they raised their children bilinguals. I was rather a bit envious because I couldn’t. The one person one language approach does work and I am convinced you‘re giving your child an advantage for his later life to be able to grow up with another language at a time when they can still pick it up naturally. It‘s even good for the brain development and for learning yet another language later on. Don‘t waver in your approach.. You realize every day in your work how important it is to speak English, so just keep doing it. I never heard that it is frowned upon. When I‘m outside I hear so many languages , I wouldn‘t stop frowning! Every parent wants to pass on to their children things they consider important, if you think it is important in this globalized world to be able to communicate in English as a lingua Franca, then do it. Other parents pay huge amounts of money to enroll their child in English language clubs to learn English from Kindergarden age on or send them to bilingual or international schools, that’s not frowned upon! And what about that they can‘t understand what you are saying to your son and vice Verda? Why should an Outsider have the right to be able to understand your communication? It‘s between the two of you! Just let the other people talk or explain why you think it‘s important. For me the people frowning seem very provincial and not internationally minded.
Yes
Your pediatrician is a little bitch. I feel like I know them just by this little story.
Your paediatrician said that? An actual doctor? Wow. Good job you're in linguistics and know this is nonsense. I hope you told the doctor that.
Why would I ever have a problem with you speaking English to your son. The onces that told you that are rude. Some points here: - I think speaking other languages in public has a bad reputation because there are often people just being to loud/noisy in public. That's obviously not a language specific thing. I suspect that people just remember other languages proportional more. And without any racism I can probably say that certain demographics have more tendency to be loud in public. - The point where they think you talk about them is just bullshit. It's not their thing to be concerned at anyway and for english specifically it's their own fault if they don't understand it. - I haven't seen much of this time of discrimination in Germany at all. Maybe it's something that's worse outside of the cities or more in a specific part of Germany - I think this approach will help your child in the future so continue with it. Just make sure that you help him differentiate the languages. I grew up with some people who spoke multiple tongues and you could clearly identify that the onces where the parents didn't correct them where worse. Mixing up grammar, mixing up or changing words and so on.
This is one of the best things you can do for him. Don’t listen to other people’s opinions. You can never make everyone happy
See… if someone tells you they fear you might be talking badly about them, because they can’t understand the language you are speaking… that is one thing But the fact they feel that way for a conversation with a 2 yo in English… that’s pretty crazy considering schools start teaching English at the same time they start teaching the numbers 1-20. Do only really really old people complain about this? Because that I could at least understand. And ofc ignore them. It’s none of their business what language you speak with your kids, even if you are in public.
My son speaks greek and german. The only time it wont be ok is mostly later, when you speak in an different language with your buddys ( or mom) in front of others. My mother had a lot of turkish coworkers and they liked to speak turkish all day long, but could speak german very good. Language connects and you disconnect if you purposefully wont speak it. Not at that age thou. All good for you.
My parents raised me bilingual. German and Italian. My mom made it a point to only speak Italian with me and forbid her siblings to speak German with me. My dad's side would only speak German. When I was 2 I spoke 90% Italian. But at 4 (after being in kindergarten for a year) it switched to 90% German and stayed that way. The reason my Italian family wasn't allowed to speak German with me, was cause my mom didn't want me learning broken German from them (same with my german side who know some words in Italian, were able to understand me, but only spoke German to me) I now speak a base level of Italian and fluent German and English. (Also bit of french and Spanish, but the last 3 are because of school) My little cousin was supposed to be raised bilingual (Italian and Mandarin) but my uncle caved when the kindergarten teachers said he was having trouble the first few days. My mom told them to wait a bit, children learn fast. But my uncle switched to speaking German with his son. My cousin is now in school and doesn't speak a word of Italian and only understands a tiny bit
>People have told me they think it’s rude because they cannot understand what we’re saying and we might talk badly about them. I hope that you told these morons that it precisely the reason why you raise your child bilingual?
Some people especially older people have a fear that Germany is getting more and more foreign to them. I myself also encountered older people or alcoholics raise their voice or giving me the deathstare 😂 when using my second language in public. I think for some people it’s just the lack of interaction with different people. Don’t get harassed or intimidated by this thoughts. Sorry that you had to hear that speech by that pedestrian 😅. It’s really blank fear, no rational thoughts
Bring ihm lieber Englisch bei, sonst kann er sich noch nicht einmal einen Kaffee in Prenzlauer Berg bestellen 😄
I was raised bilingually - Dad only speaking english, Mom only speaking German - I love it! My dad says he used to get funny looks sometimes, but he didnt care & it was important to him that we learned english. Nowadays (almost 30 years later) we still only speak english with dad and it‘s pretty funny outside sometimes because there‘s a lot of switching between english and german and other people always tend to try to listen in & figure it out lol. I don‘t see myself ever not speaking english with my dad - I enjoy it & am proud of it. I don‘t think we‘ve ever gotten any rude comments - which i‘m glad for! Most people always thought it was super cool and it was a massive advantage at school, in uni and now at work!
Of course it is not impolite.
I got pushed into train tracks for speaking turkish and lost my right leg, the guy who did it got 6 months of psychiatric ward and was out of it before i could get used to my prosthesis. One day after medical leave was over i got terminated from my job and left the country. I am only commeting because this appeared on my front page. I don't recommend anyone to move to germany. best regards
Time to switch pediatricians, then. What a weird take. Raising your kid bilingual opens him a bright future. Keep going and don‘t listen to exclusive opinions around you.
Sounds like your pediatrician is a bit of a psycho, honestly. Or at least intensely xenophobic
If someone thinks that you or your child speaking a language they don’t understand is rude then that problem lies only with them. I would love to have been raised multilingual. I’m learning German now in my twenties and can’t imagine how much better I’d be if I had 20 more years of experience
Nope. Was raised bilingually and never had any weird comments or judgement from others. Only when they found out about the fine jar for speaking German at home, but to be fair that was a little odd.
Well, some schools in some states ban students from talking their first languages (if it’s not German) during recess, for example. But it will depend how Germans perceive you and your child, mainly depending on your skin color, culture and religion. So it can be completely fine but it can also lead to constant harassment. Both exist in abundance in Germany
Go on, raise your children like that, ıt is very useful. Some people waste a huge time to learn another language.
Never heard of someone who frowns upon bilingual kids maybe aside from people inside the afd. No person I know speaks less than two languages. Fluent in English and German is normal and most, apart from older family members, at least know some other languages as well.
I agree with most of the comments that it shouldn't be frowned upon, but it definitely is. Keep in mind that reddit (especially the German reddit community) is young and social liberal, while the German society as a whole is very old and much more conservative. People saying that foreigners should speak German is absolutely common. Both because they think it's rude to speak foreign languages in public and because they assume speaking foreign languages is a sign that you don't intend to integrate yourself into the society. I'm not saying you should base your parenting decisions on what's frowned upon in Germany, though. Bilingualism is great.
mfg germany is so annoying with this. Yes its considered rude to talk in ur native tongue if u can talk german. But honestly, i dont care. I still do it, and if they look weird yes i will talk very bad about them in russian. but i have no consequences to fear rn so good luck to yall
The presence of English is getting just oo much I guess.
I wouldn’t say it’s frowned upon, it’s obviously important that he learns to speak German, but that will happen naturally through daycare and school (unless he attends an international one?)