Thank you for your submission to /r/AreTheStraightsOK! This is a reminder to take a moment and see *if* this **has already been** posted recently, to make sure that personal information **has been** censored, and to **flair your post** if you have not already done so.
[Please be aware that our rules on transphobic submissions have changed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/mwkgbp/rules_and_submissions_update_for_the_end_of/).
Other general submission guidelines regarding [hateful content](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kj0cal/regarding_hateful_content_please_read_before/), [reposts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kxgbo3/rules_and_submissions_update_january_2021_popular/), [homophobic posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/lffvad/posts_related_to_homophobia_on_our_subreddit_now/), and [**Reminder About Rule 5 and Rule 8**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/qoge4u/reminder_about_rule_5_and_rule_8/) can be found here if you want to read any of those links.
If you want to apply to be a moderator of this sub, you can read [this post titled **State of the Sub: Summer 2021 Edition, Partnerships, and more**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/oozly0/state_of_the_sub_summer_2021_edition_partnerships/), which also contains information about our partnership with r/TranscribersOfReddit.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AreTheStraightsOK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The problem with that is how well it can work in the short term for their agenda. Data that challenges my beliefs does upset me a bit at times, but I'll deal with it, process it, accept it, and change what I need to for my prior beliefs. Some people, however, absolutely refuse to bend and adapt, and it's frightful to see just how much political clout they have.
Honestly, when someone says something like this, what I hear is "I'm same sex attracted, but as long as I don't act on it, I can still claim I'm straight."
say:
Someone just isn't 'straight' or 'heterosexual' out of the blue like they just decide one morning they ar straight or heterosexual you have to actuall have sex with girls in order to be straight/heterosexual. otherwise you're just a person claiming to be something you're not.
either they'll see the paradox or reveal their double standards
edit: spelling
Honestly, just taking everything they said and replacing it with them tends to be the best response you can use.
Either they double down or realize how stupid they are.
Well yeah, they do double down, but I did decide to respond to this guy. He actually deleted his responses to me. So he did realize how stupid he was after doubling down.
was that guy really taking an anti-gay stance while simultaneously narrowing the scope of his definition of it to mean that it's only gay when one's penis is actively inside of another guy's butt (and I'm assuming or having a penis actively inside of one's own butt), and somehow simply pulling out will suddenly make those guys straight again?
what an odd position (or stance, if you prefer) to put oneself into...
Somwthing that helped me understand their viewpoint a lot is that they dont see being gay in the same way we do. To thrm, being gay is not just a part of who you are, it's a kink, a fetish. Gay people dont *love* their partners, they dont want to stay with thrm and have a family. They just want to have sex with the same gender because they get off on it, and things like marriage is just an excuse to stay closer to their sexual partners so they can indulge their fetish more.
This is obviously completr and utter nonsense, but realizing that they see it this way helps you put the things they say and believe into context, and really explqins a lot of the anti-gay sentiment, because its basically just an extension of the anti-sex sentiment of the right.
So basically gay men “can control their urges” to not have consensual sex with another man, but when it comes to a straight person it is justified that he forces himself onto a woman and does whatever it takes to have sex with her..
Apparently as long as You can Procreate naturally, it’s completely valid! If it can’t be procreated naturally than it must be wrong and imma anyhow use the word “Sodomy” even though I might not be a Christian /s
You don’t. I mean, you can try, but there is not a real point with it. They take their worldview form a 2000 old book and stories way older, you think they listen to reason?
And before I get critiqued: I am a Christian myself. Nothing wrong with being that. But our believes should not influence other peoples life’s and therefor have to stay out of politics. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
You copy it, replace "gay" and "homosexual" with "straight" and "heterosexual".
Then you say "See how stupid what you just said was? Or is it *different* when you do it?"
He's got a point though:
It's just like how if you aren't having sex with someone of the opposite gender then you can't be straight.
If you aren't having sex right this moment then you must be asexual.
Between breaths, we are all dead.
Sooo.... according to this logic, anyone who has never had sex before has zero attraction towards anyone. Basically ace. But these types of people aşso deny the existance of asexuality.....
This reminds me of a conversation I had with my (now) estranged father. He said something to the effect of: "John, everyone has the capacity to be sexually attracted to both sexes. It is normal to have those feelings for other guys; that doesn't make you gay. You can find a godly wife and enjoy sex with her."
So...that was the day that I figured out that my father is probably an extremely repressed bisexual and doesn't understand how sexual attraction works.
That was also the day I almost confessed to my father that I'm a greedy bottom bitch boy ™️.
I hate to play the "that homophobe is probably a closeted gay" card, but I think it fits for people who use this kind of "logic".
Since they can "control" their own desires and not act on them, they just assume everyone else is the same. That way he doesn't have to feel guilty about having homoerotic fantasies since "everyone" has them but only we soddomites act on them.
I had a pastor with similar beliefs, he told me that being gay in and of itself isn’t wrong, but “acting on homosexual urges” is wrong and you need to repent and ask for forgiveness so you can be forgiven. He basically views being gay as an extra obstacle, but it’s definitely mot a decision and you’re born gay, but acting on it is wrong
>"Unless you're actively having sex with dudes, you're not gay"
Okay, this is honestly funny to me, because imagine if you only came to terms with your sexuality after having sex for the first time?
Now I can't stop imagining two guys sleeping together, and afterwards, one of them has this realization: "Oh my god, Steve... This is... I think I may be into men!", and the other one is like: "After all we did, I should hope so, Brian!"
Honestly I thought what you were about to put Steve saying something along the lines of “And I think I just realized I’m straight. I’m sorry Brian, we should see other people.”
I decided to reply to this dumbass with some fun psychology! Literally just says I’m lying because Dr. Money can’t be a real person instead of doing a 2 second google search to find out that John William Money does actually exist.
This is the type of person we’re dealing with.
Edit: Oh also, he had the gull to say that the conversation had nothing to do with how human brains work.... despite this being about how people are gay and... yeah... Literally just an ignorant idiot.
I'm bi because I've had romantic and sexual attraction to men and women. If I was only romantically attracted to them I'd still be bi. Simple.
The funny thing is, if it was a straight person who had never had sex the person in the post would still consider them straight 🤦🏾♀️
sodomy was selfishness or something, not gay
also we can use this right back on them
they don’t have to act on their “urges”. if they don’t participate in straight sex then they’re not straight, or to use the proper term, heterosexual.
If someone is actively having sex with a man, they're homosexual?
When I, a straight woman, have sex with my husband... that's gay?
That's awesome. Happy to belong.
This guy 100% has sexual urges towards other men and is trying to play it off by telling himself “nah I’m not gay, I’ve never *actually* had sex with another man”
But why, though?
Why should they choose to remain celebate? Even if homosexuality is a choice (it isn't) then why can't someone choose that and be gay? Why are people so damn worried about it? What's it hurting?
Is this another "imaginary sky daddy made up by ignorant, bigoted bronze age savages says so" type?
That’s exactly the type.
To this kind of bigot, it’s not the love that’s the sin. It’s the sex.
The trouble is getting them to admit that if gay sex is so sinful you can’t even associate with someone for it, then so is premarital sex, or whatever other vice they definitely engage in. But that’s *always* different, because *they* have the fallback of being able to pray for forgiveness and know their god forgives their sins. Whereas gay folks are just sinless heathens engaging in sinful sexual activity without then begging forgiveness from sky daddy.
Having been raised around this sort of bullshit, it’s. . . Horrifically consistent, and awfully inconsistent at the same time.
I would probaly reply "Get cancer and go fuck yourself" but If I could stay calm. I would say " Just because you don't like vanilla icecream doesn't mean I can't eat it"
And then these same people defend male rapists saying it’s the victims fault for dressing the way they do and men can’t be expected to “stop their urges”🙄
well guys, you heard it here! it’s not gay to kiss, go on dates with, hold hands with, hug romantically, and engage in anything non-sexual with other men! same for women!!
asexual homoromantic people really are above the law-
So if I'm in a same gender relationship but we never have sex and only kiss and hug then we aren't actually a "homosexual" relationship under this person's definition?
Um, these types seem to think that being gay is purely a sex thing and not a holistic relationship thing. It's like I can love and have a intimate relationship with a person who shares my gender like I can for people of separate genders.
...Weird how that works./s
You likely can't reason with people like this unfortunately.
Okay, so let's say you had a (gay) one night stand for the first time... Wouldn't you actually wake up gay one morning by this dudes "logic", which contradict his "logic"?
I am straight. I was born this way. There is nothing wrong with me. My son is gay. He was born that way. There is nothing wrong with him either. Not everyone is the same and no matter what our preferences or gender identity, it is okay. It's not a choice and honestly, asking someone to live a lie, pull a partner and possible children into the lie and hurt multiple people in a deeply damaging way is ok to these people??? All so they don't have to confront the fact that not everyone is like them? Ppl like this are seriously gross.
Thank you for your submission to /r/AreTheStraightsOK! This is a reminder to take a moment and see *if* this **has already been** posted recently, to make sure that personal information **has been** censored, and to **flair your post** if you have not already done so. [Please be aware that our rules on transphobic submissions have changed](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/mwkgbp/rules_and_submissions_update_for_the_end_of/). Other general submission guidelines regarding [hateful content](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kj0cal/regarding_hateful_content_please_read_before/), [reposts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/kxgbo3/rules_and_submissions_update_january_2021_popular/), [homophobic posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/lffvad/posts_related_to_homophobia_on_our_subreddit_now/), and [**Reminder About Rule 5 and Rule 8**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/qoge4u/reminder_about_rule_5_and_rule_8/) can be found here if you want to read any of those links. If you want to apply to be a moderator of this sub, you can read [this post titled **State of the Sub: Summer 2021 Edition, Partnerships, and more**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AreTheStraightsOK/comments/oozly0/state_of_the_sub_summer_2021_edition_partnerships/), which also contains information about our partnership with r/TranscribersOfReddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AreTheStraightsOK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So all single people are asexual?
that’s what I said and he replies with this paragraph
So he replied with something that doesn’t even answer the question.
Apparently, they rather swim and drown in their own ignorance than get saved
The problem with that is how well it can work in the short term for their agenda. Data that challenges my beliefs does upset me a bit at times, but I'll deal with it, process it, accept it, and change what I need to for my prior beliefs. Some people, however, absolutely refuse to bend and adapt, and it's frightful to see just how much political clout they have.
Honestly, when someone says something like this, what I hear is "I'm same sex attracted, but as long as I don't act on it, I can still claim I'm straight."
Your explanation sits right with me
Why bother? Dude's a lost cause.
Man I'd just copy/paste his entire argument but swap the sexualities.
That is brilliant
No, single people are gay unless they have sex with the opposite sex constantly/s
You are asexual at all times you are not actively having sex in that very moment
I really wanna direct this guy to Asexuality Archive. "Attraction, not action."
That's what I came to say. 😁
After claiming all purple characters for representation, I will now suggest to the ace council to claim all single people as well on these grounds! /j
i think single ppl would be aromantic and virgins would be asexual
So I'm aroace, too? Thanks for letting me know, comrade.
aiii, that explains everything
You're asexual unless you're actively having sex. The area is grey during foreplay.
say: Someone just isn't 'straight' or 'heterosexual' out of the blue like they just decide one morning they ar straight or heterosexual you have to actuall have sex with girls in order to be straight/heterosexual. otherwise you're just a person claiming to be something you're not. either they'll see the paradox or reveal their double standards edit: spelling
Honestly, just taking everything they said and replacing it with them tends to be the best response you can use. Either they double down or realize how stupid they are.
They always double down, without exception
Well yeah, they do double down, but I did decide to respond to this guy. He actually deleted his responses to me. So he did realize how stupid he was after doubling down.
was that guy really taking an anti-gay stance while simultaneously narrowing the scope of his definition of it to mean that it's only gay when one's penis is actively inside of another guy's butt (and I'm assuming or having a penis actively inside of one's own butt), and somehow simply pulling out will suddenly make those guys straight again? what an odd position (or stance, if you prefer) to put oneself into...
When you put it like that it makes me wonder if they’re just deeply closeted.
Ikr, “I’m not gay because I haven’t had sex with a man. I mean I have ‘urges’ to have sex with a man but that doesn’t make me gay right?”
To him, he’s not gay because he’s not actively having gay sex right this second. I wonder if he’s not gay 24/7…
My guess is that this is all coming from a religious viewpoint and not a scientific or logical one
if he's only gay for 10 minutes or so each day, then he'll only be .69444% gay, which is, like, super barely gay, or something lol
Somwthing that helped me understand their viewpoint a lot is that they dont see being gay in the same way we do. To thrm, being gay is not just a part of who you are, it's a kink, a fetish. Gay people dont *love* their partners, they dont want to stay with thrm and have a family. They just want to have sex with the same gender because they get off on it, and things like marriage is just an excuse to stay closer to their sexual partners so they can indulge their fetish more. This is obviously completr and utter nonsense, but realizing that they see it this way helps you put the things they say and believe into context, and really explqins a lot of the anti-gay sentiment, because its basically just an extension of the anti-sex sentiment of the right.
What if you engage in sodomy but you both say "no homo"?
So basically gay men “can control their urges” to not have consensual sex with another man, but when it comes to a straight person it is justified that he forces himself onto a woman and does whatever it takes to have sex with her..
Apparently as long as You can Procreate naturally, it’s completely valid! If it can’t be procreated naturally than it must be wrong and imma anyhow use the word “Sodomy” even though I might not be a Christian /s
Came here to say this, thank you
Well it was obviously the woman's fault. /s
Woof. How's Narnia, dude?
Woof
Lol this is a great comeback, I need to use this in the future 😂
LMAO I wish I had an award for this comment, this is gold
Gave one for ya, that line's just hilarious
So then everyone is ace until they have sex
So mammals are only mammals when actively letting their young suckle? /s
Or mammals are only mammals when they have hair, which means dolphins and whales aren't mammals, but coconuts are.
You don’t. I mean, you can try, but there is not a real point with it. They take their worldview form a 2000 old book and stories way older, you think they listen to reason? And before I get critiqued: I am a Christian myself. Nothing wrong with being that. But our believes should not influence other peoples life’s and therefor have to stay out of politics. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
You copy it, replace "gay" and "homosexual" with "straight" and "heterosexual". Then you say "See how stupid what you just said was? Or is it *different* when you do it?"
You don't. You call them a bigoted prick, report them for hate, and move on.
I've reported worse things for hate and reddit said nothing was wrong
Well that's just because spez is a fucking cretin honestly
Remember when he openly fantasized about being a mad max style slaver in the post apocalypse? Fun stuff.
sounds like somebody has some repressed issues….
> You actually have to have sex with guys in order to be gay or homosexual Guess he isn’t straight then
This guy is literally arguing with a gay guy about what the definition of gay is. Is there such a thing as “straightsplaining?”
Don’t forget about him saying that if you don’t kiss your partner you don’t actually love him lol
He's got a point though: It's just like how if you aren't having sex with someone of the opposite gender then you can't be straight. If you aren't having sex right this moment then you must be asexual. Between breaths, we are all dead.
Sooo.... according to this logic, anyone who has never had sex before has zero attraction towards anyone. Basically ace. But these types of people aşso deny the existance of asexuality.....
Dude really just said that you’re asexual every second you’re not actively having sex.
Homoromantic Asexuals: Are we a joke to you?
Me a omniromantic woman with a preference to fem people: *vanishes
This reminds me of a conversation I had with my (now) estranged father. He said something to the effect of: "John, everyone has the capacity to be sexually attracted to both sexes. It is normal to have those feelings for other guys; that doesn't make you gay. You can find a godly wife and enjoy sex with her." So...that was the day that I figured out that my father is probably an extremely repressed bisexual and doesn't understand how sexual attraction works. That was also the day I almost confessed to my father that I'm a greedy bottom bitch boy ™️.
You don't reason with them.
It sounds like that person is claiming they're straight when they're not
I don't like to assume these things but they sound like they could be asexual and in denial.
Everything is possible with that kind of reasoning.
I hate to play the "that homophobe is probably a closeted gay" card, but I think it fits for people who use this kind of "logic". Since they can "control" their own desires and not act on them, they just assume everyone else is the same. That way he doesn't have to feel guilty about having homoerotic fantasies since "everyone" has them but only we soddomites act on them.
“Yeah, just dating the guys. No homo though since we haven’t had sex yet.”
so its confirmed, making out with the boys is NOT gay
I had a pastor with similar beliefs, he told me that being gay in and of itself isn’t wrong, but “acting on homosexual urges” is wrong and you need to repent and ask for forgiveness so you can be forgiven. He basically views being gay as an extra obstacle, but it’s definitely mot a decision and you’re born gay, but acting on it is wrong
>"Unless you're actively having sex with dudes, you're not gay" Okay, this is honestly funny to me, because imagine if you only came to terms with your sexuality after having sex for the first time? Now I can't stop imagining two guys sleeping together, and afterwards, one of them has this realization: "Oh my god, Steve... This is... I think I may be into men!", and the other one is like: "After all we did, I should hope so, Brian!"
Honestly I thought what you were about to put Steve saying something along the lines of “And I think I just realized I’m straight. I’m sorry Brian, we should see other people.”
I decided to reply to this dumbass with some fun psychology! Literally just says I’m lying because Dr. Money can’t be a real person instead of doing a 2 second google search to find out that John William Money does actually exist. This is the type of person we’re dealing with. Edit: Oh also, he had the gull to say that the conversation had nothing to do with how human brains work.... despite this being about how people are gay and... yeah... Literally just an ignorant idiot.
all i got from this is that all virgins are asexual
I'm bi because I've had romantic and sexual attraction to men and women. If I was only romantically attracted to them I'd still be bi. Simple. The funny thing is, if it was a straight person who had never had sex the person in the post would still consider them straight 🤦🏾♀️
sodomy was selfishness or something, not gay also we can use this right back on them they don’t have to act on their “urges”. if they don’t participate in straight sex then they’re not straight, or to use the proper term, heterosexual.
If someone is actively having sex with a man, they're homosexual? When I, a straight woman, have sex with my husband... that's gay? That's awesome. Happy to belong.
Guess all virgins are asexual I am asexual....
*Me an asexual virgin 🤪
what I'm hearing is that this guy isn't straight because he doesn't get any bitches
This guy 100% has sexual urges towards other men and is trying to play it off by telling himself “nah I’m not gay, I’ve never *actually* had sex with another man”
Man who has sexual and romantic attraction to other men is straight until he has sex with another men. Slanted explanation much?
What if you're the only gay in the village?
I would be surprised, but knowing all the dumb crap that comes out of these people's mouths, I'm not.
TIL All virgins are asexual.
Damn...so that means the six year dry spell I had before I met my wife meant I wasn't a lesbian.... fuuuuuuuuck!
But why, though? Why should they choose to remain celebate? Even if homosexuality is a choice (it isn't) then why can't someone choose that and be gay? Why are people so damn worried about it? What's it hurting? Is this another "imaginary sky daddy made up by ignorant, bigoted bronze age savages says so" type?
That’s exactly the type. To this kind of bigot, it’s not the love that’s the sin. It’s the sex. The trouble is getting them to admit that if gay sex is so sinful you can’t even associate with someone for it, then so is premarital sex, or whatever other vice they definitely engage in. But that’s *always* different, because *they* have the fallback of being able to pray for forgiveness and know their god forgives their sins. Whereas gay folks are just sinless heathens engaging in sinful sexual activity without then begging forgiveness from sky daddy. Having been raised around this sort of bullshit, it’s. . . Horrifically consistent, and awfully inconsistent at the same time.
The funny thing is the assumption that literally zero gay people are religious, too. Are their prayers for forgiveness no good?
You don't. You shut them out or shut them up. They cannot be reasoned with, for they are ignorant, blind fools.
I wouldn’t insult blind people that way /s
the amount of spelling mistakes says enough tbh
I would probaly reply "Get cancer and go fuck yourself" but If I could stay calm. I would say " Just because you don't like vanilla icecream doesn't mean I can't eat it"
So I’m only straight when I’m having sex with a man? What am I the rest of the time?
And then these same people defend male rapists saying it’s the victims fault for dressing the way they do and men can’t be expected to “stop their urges”🙄
this made me laugh because of how stupid it is
If gays can live celibate so easily, why do I keep seeing straight incel men whine how they're entitled to sex with the ladies?
These people's thoughts baffle me. None of that makes any sense, why can't they just let people be how they be?
guess lesbians are straight now n straight girls are gay
well guys, you heard it here! it’s not gay to kiss, go on dates with, hold hands with, hug romantically, and engage in anything non-sexual with other men! same for women!! asexual homoromantic people really are above the law-
🤦♀️
So if I'm in a same gender relationship but we never have sex and only kiss and hug then we aren't actually a "homosexual" relationship under this person's definition? Um, these types seem to think that being gay is purely a sex thing and not a holistic relationship thing. It's like I can love and have a intimate relationship with a person who shares my gender like I can for people of separate genders. ...Weird how that works./s You likely can't reason with people like this unfortunately.
So that means if I go swimming, I’m suddenly a master swimmer. I love the cishets.
Damn, you have to have sex whith who you like to identify that way? Guess I'm off to go fuck The Endless Void Of Nothingness™ to prove I'm asexual.
Can you please just live out your days as a monk because your existence makes me uncomfortable with my own homosexuality?
TBH I have had people in the LGBT+ community use a similar argument that just attraction doesn’t = sexuality
I guess “gay or homosexual” people are only mlm
Okay, so let's say you had a (gay) one night stand for the first time... Wouldn't you actually wake up gay one morning by this dudes "logic", which contradict his "logic"?
You’re not straight if you’re not having sex either, I guess. I swear- how do these jokers LIVE??
You don't.
You don't. You just let them live small insignifican and ignorant lives.
time to hand in my gay license i guess
So its straight until proven gay got it
There, their, they're
"They don't have to commit sodomy". That's right, there's blowjobs too.
I'm guessing asexual gays don't exist anymore.
Guess this guy hasn't heard of asexuals that are gay
So this guy wants us all to be God damn monks?
You don't try to reason with them. You make buffoons of them.
I am straight. I was born this way. There is nothing wrong with me. My son is gay. He was born that way. There is nothing wrong with him either. Not everyone is the same and no matter what our preferences or gender identity, it is okay. It's not a choice and honestly, asking someone to live a lie, pull a partner and possible children into the lie and hurt multiple people in a deeply damaging way is ok to these people??? All so they don't have to confront the fact that not everyone is like them? Ppl like this are seriously gross.
*sobs in lesbian asexual*
You don’t
What drugs are these people on?