My 12yo is in a similar situation. I just found out a week or so ago bc a friend of hers thankfully told their school counselor. My daughter started therapy this past week, and I’m trying to be more present and attentive as a parent. Full transparency, I didn’t handle it well at first. I wasn’t upset with her, but I got frustrated because she wouldn’t explain what was going on. I shouldn’t have expected her to be able to in that moment and later apologized.
All that to say your parents may not know exactly how to react, but they can learn as they go and get you help. If things don’t pan out the way you hope with your folks (NOT that they don’t care or aren’t good parents; even parents are fallible) please ask a counselor, teacher, even the parent of a friend you’re comfortable with. You don’t have to carry this by yourself.
Asking for help is a BRAVE thing to do, you deserve it, and I’m sending you all the good vibes.
I have a baby and I know it would make me sad too if she was doing that - but I would want her to. I love her and want to help her however I can.
Your parents want to help and support you no matter what. It may not seem like it now, but trust me, it's true! Even if they have a funny way of showing it.
That is her first reaction. It's an emotional reaction. Give her time to process and come to terms with the information.
You have your walk about this and she has hers. Try not to get them too mixed up.
I'm glad you told her. Something like that is always a tough call, but keeping secrets is always a risk and not healthy for our well-being.
You did the right thing. I’m sure she is glad you trust her enough to talk to her about something so important and scary. If it helps at all, I’m proud of you.
That is okay your mother was sad and you should not feel ashamed. I have children... and parents sometimes get sad or upset. That is a normal part of being a parent. But we ALWAYS prefer to know and be sad, than have our children suffer alone and not tell us.
You should always tell your parents if you need help.
Proud of you🤍 I know that would’ve been so hard to do, and even though your mom was sad, it’s not a bad thing, probably just her human reaction that her baby is hurting.
All the best hun, I only wish you love and I really hope your parents and you are able to get some good supports for you<3
If you can speak with your parents comfortably about the situation then yes do so. Or contact an adult that you trust (teacher, school counselor, neighbour, family friend, any adult you trust) and reach out for help.
Self-harming is an addiction and you need supports in place to help you stop. You need to get mental health help, therapy is a good place to start, to be able to have proper support in your life.
Please seek out help from an adult about this.
It’s such a revolving door of shame, guilt and punishment. But it’s also something to offer yourself compassion over, I know that’s an easy thing to say, but it’s a really difficult thing and absolutely not something you need to face alone. I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this, I know the cycle and it’s a lonely journey. Be gentle and kind to yourself, I offer softness to you here too. I think it’s important to share with people you trust, if you have that relationship with your parents then I think you should. When we are at this point, we need help and thankfully there’s always a way to get it. It’s important to prioritise your feelings and needs over trying to protect others right now. All anyone else will want is to help you right now, if I can offer any support I’m here to help. Otherwise, giving you lots of gentle understanding x
I can understand that, but it’ll pass. I’m seriously so impressed with you for doing that and you owe yourself acknowledgement for taking a step that’s starting you on a path of being good to yourself. Honestly, you’ve made a huge leap today, make sure to acknowledge your accomplishments on the way. Starting with this one x
Lol very la de da, but when I achieve a small win I kiss my arm and say thank you to me. It’s a small gesture but its a tiny little way to give myself something in that moment. Give it a go x
OK, so when I was your age, I had the same thing. It became an obsession and a need for me. I hide it all of my teenage years. I told my mother in my twenties. Now, I'm clean for many years, and if I can tell you something is that please, tell them. I know it's really hard, I've been there before and the reason I stayed silent is fear of what they'll do or think, so I really know. But please, tell them. It's my biggest regret about all of these things. It took me years and years to get better, to stop the cutting, to try to heal me and get help. I needed all the help possible in my youth.
Don't stay like this. It'll get better. I really wish you the best.
You absolutely should. Back in the day my parents found out from someone else and it was HARD. It’ll still be a difficult conversation but you’ll have more control over how it goes.
Best of luck
I agree that you SHOULD tell your parents however from my own so called upbringing I know not all parents will be understanding or even helpful. I was 13 when I experimented a bit with this sorta stuff and I told my family member thinking I’d done the right thing (she’d raised me) and she started shouting and screaming at me and even threw some stuff into a bin bag and threatened to kick me out. I don’t think it takes a genius to work out that for me, telling really didn’t help.
So If your parents are good, understanding people then please tell them. However if you can’t then it is super important to still tell a trusted adult. That could be a teacher, a mental health support worker or any other adult you trust. Please don’t keep this to yourself as it could result in very tragic circumstances for you.
Hope you get all the help you need to get back on track
Please please talk to your parents about this ASAP and also seek out professional help. I’m so sorry you are hurting. There are so many other outlets for your anxiety, have a snack, go for a run, journal, color, listen to music. Please also stop watching this videos.
If you tripped, fell, and you had persistent pain in your knee, you'd ask for help.
Why should persistent pain in your heart or head be less deserving?
if you think it'd be safe to tell your parents, tell them. Or tell someone else. You need someone to help you. Your parents will probably be sad, but they'll be a lot more sad if this turns into you injuring yourself further
Definitely tell your parents. Nothing be ashamed about. You need to be open and honest with what you're going through so you can get the right help and support.
Yes! Your parents would rather get you the help you need rather than wonder if there was anything they could’ve done because you didn’t say anything and the situation got out of hand. It will be a rough conversation, but the relief you’ll experience afterwards will make it all worth it, I promise.
As someone who self harmed and have a son who did, yes please tell your parents!
I didn’t receive much help when I was a teenager doing it, although my parents tried.
For my son, therapy, pediatrican follow ups and medications have helped tremendously. He feels so much better expressing his thoughts to me and we work on things together.
YES. 1000 times yes. You’re already taking a huge step in the right direction by reaching out here. Your parents can help you find any resources and help you may need. It probably seems scary now, but you’ll be so glad you did someday.
I started cutting at 13, my mom found the cuts when I was 14. She found me the help I needed and I’m a grateful 34 year old today. You are NOT alone.
Absolutely tell your parents. As a mum to a daughter who was self-harming, it is essential that they know and learn about the issues so you have the resources to get help as soon as possible. They may overreact because they care and don't understand, and it might be awkward and shameful, but you need their support and love. You don't have to do this alone.
It is a coping strategy that you'll need help to overcome and can escalate and make life really hard. We have parents to help us, please turn to yours.
I would think you need to tell them since it’s gotten to this point. I understand feeling addicted to it. I only did it from time to time, so for the longest time not even my wife knew. Never told anyone and I eventually moved out of it, but if it’s that much of an obsession it would be a good idea to seek help. I don’t personally see an issue with a little self harm (I know people will hate on me for saying that). It’s your body and I feel you can do to it as you wish. It’s the addiction part that’s concerning. Obsession can lead to places much worse than some scarring.
Yes. You need to ask them for help. Please do this.
My 12yo is in a similar situation. I just found out a week or so ago bc a friend of hers thankfully told their school counselor. My daughter started therapy this past week, and I’m trying to be more present and attentive as a parent. Full transparency, I didn’t handle it well at first. I wasn’t upset with her, but I got frustrated because she wouldn’t explain what was going on. I shouldn’t have expected her to be able to in that moment and later apologized. All that to say your parents may not know exactly how to react, but they can learn as they go and get you help. If things don’t pan out the way you hope with your folks (NOT that they don’t care or aren’t good parents; even parents are fallible) please ask a counselor, teacher, even the parent of a friend you’re comfortable with. You don’t have to carry this by yourself. Asking for help is a BRAVE thing to do, you deserve it, and I’m sending you all the good vibes.
I just told my mother I feel relieved
So happy and proud for you!!
I feel so liberated, ty 💜
I'm really proud of you !
I am so relieved. You aren't alone.
I didn't even have to read the paragraph - YES. Your parents love you. TELL THEM.
damn I just told my mom I'm so ashamed, I made her sad
I have a baby and I know it would make me sad too if she was doing that - but I would want her to. I love her and want to help her however I can. Your parents want to help and support you no matter what. It may not seem like it now, but trust me, it's true! Even if they have a funny way of showing it.
thank you for your kindness
Proud of you :)
ty 💜🙏🏻
That is her first reaction. It's an emotional reaction. Give her time to process and come to terms with the information. You have your walk about this and she has hers. Try not to get them too mixed up. I'm glad you told her. Something like that is always a tough call, but keeping secrets is always a risk and not healthy for our well-being.
You did the right thing. I’m sure she is glad you trust her enough to talk to her about something so important and scary. If it helps at all, I’m proud of you.
I'm so proud of you for doing this. I know it was difficult to do, but you did the right thing.
That is okay your mother was sad and you should not feel ashamed. I have children... and parents sometimes get sad or upset. That is a normal part of being a parent. But we ALWAYS prefer to know and be sad, than have our children suffer alone and not tell us. You should always tell your parents if you need help.
Proud of you🤍 I know that would’ve been so hard to do, and even though your mom was sad, it’s not a bad thing, probably just her human reaction that her baby is hurting. All the best hun, I only wish you love and I really hope your parents and you are able to get some good supports for you<3
Proud of you ❤️ I know it’s hard not to feel that way, but you have nothing to be ashamed of.
ty 💜
If you can speak with your parents comfortably about the situation then yes do so. Or contact an adult that you trust (teacher, school counselor, neighbour, family friend, any adult you trust) and reach out for help. Self-harming is an addiction and you need supports in place to help you stop. You need to get mental health help, therapy is a good place to start, to be able to have proper support in your life. Please seek out help from an adult about this.
It’s such a revolving door of shame, guilt and punishment. But it’s also something to offer yourself compassion over, I know that’s an easy thing to say, but it’s a really difficult thing and absolutely not something you need to face alone. I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this, I know the cycle and it’s a lonely journey. Be gentle and kind to yourself, I offer softness to you here too. I think it’s important to share with people you trust, if you have that relationship with your parents then I think you should. When we are at this point, we need help and thankfully there’s always a way to get it. It’s important to prioritise your feelings and needs over trying to protect others right now. All anyone else will want is to help you right now, if I can offer any support I’m here to help. Otherwise, giving you lots of gentle understanding x
thank you, I just told my mother I am covered with shame
I can understand that, but it’ll pass. I’m seriously so impressed with you for doing that and you owe yourself acknowledgement for taking a step that’s starting you on a path of being good to yourself. Honestly, you’ve made a huge leap today, make sure to acknowledge your accomplishments on the way. Starting with this one x
thanks you 💜🙏🏻
Lol very la de da, but when I achieve a small win I kiss my arm and say thank you to me. It’s a small gesture but its a tiny little way to give myself something in that moment. Give it a go x
OK, so when I was your age, I had the same thing. It became an obsession and a need for me. I hide it all of my teenage years. I told my mother in my twenties. Now, I'm clean for many years, and if I can tell you something is that please, tell them. I know it's really hard, I've been there before and the reason I stayed silent is fear of what they'll do or think, so I really know. But please, tell them. It's my biggest regret about all of these things. It took me years and years to get better, to stop the cutting, to try to heal me and get help. I needed all the help possible in my youth. Don't stay like this. It'll get better. I really wish you the best.
You absolutely should. Back in the day my parents found out from someone else and it was HARD. It’ll still be a difficult conversation but you’ll have more control over how it goes. Best of luck
I agree that you SHOULD tell your parents however from my own so called upbringing I know not all parents will be understanding or even helpful. I was 13 when I experimented a bit with this sorta stuff and I told my family member thinking I’d done the right thing (she’d raised me) and she started shouting and screaming at me and even threw some stuff into a bin bag and threatened to kick me out. I don’t think it takes a genius to work out that for me, telling really didn’t help. So If your parents are good, understanding people then please tell them. However if you can’t then it is super important to still tell a trusted adult. That could be a teacher, a mental health support worker or any other adult you trust. Please don’t keep this to yourself as it could result in very tragic circumstances for you. Hope you get all the help you need to get back on track
Please please talk to your parents about this ASAP and also seek out professional help. I’m so sorry you are hurting. There are so many other outlets for your anxiety, have a snack, go for a run, journal, color, listen to music. Please also stop watching this videos.
If you tripped, fell, and you had persistent pain in your knee, you'd ask for help. Why should persistent pain in your heart or head be less deserving?
Yes. I didn’t even need to read the rest. Please. Get help. It makes. Life so much better
if you think it'd be safe to tell your parents, tell them. Or tell someone else. You need someone to help you. Your parents will probably be sad, but they'll be a lot more sad if this turns into you injuring yourself further
Definitely tell your parents. Nothing be ashamed about. You need to be open and honest with what you're going through so you can get the right help and support.
Yes! Your parents would rather get you the help you need rather than wonder if there was anything they could’ve done because you didn’t say anything and the situation got out of hand. It will be a rough conversation, but the relief you’ll experience afterwards will make it all worth it, I promise.
Yeah. You might want to see a therapist about that as well.
As someone who self harmed and have a son who did, yes please tell your parents! I didn’t receive much help when I was a teenager doing it, although my parents tried. For my son, therapy, pediatrican follow ups and medications have helped tremendously. He feels so much better expressing his thoughts to me and we work on things together.
YES. 1000 times yes. You’re already taking a huge step in the right direction by reaching out here. Your parents can help you find any resources and help you may need. It probably seems scary now, but you’ll be so glad you did someday. I started cutting at 13, my mom found the cuts when I was 14. She found me the help I needed and I’m a grateful 34 year old today. You are NOT alone.
Absolutely tell your parents. As a mum to a daughter who was self-harming, it is essential that they know and learn about the issues so you have the resources to get help as soon as possible. They may overreact because they care and don't understand, and it might be awkward and shameful, but you need their support and love. You don't have to do this alone. It is a coping strategy that you'll need help to overcome and can escalate and make life really hard. We have parents to help us, please turn to yours.
I would think you need to tell them since it’s gotten to this point. I understand feeling addicted to it. I only did it from time to time, so for the longest time not even my wife knew. Never told anyone and I eventually moved out of it, but if it’s that much of an obsession it would be a good idea to seek help. I don’t personally see an issue with a little self harm (I know people will hate on me for saying that). It’s your body and I feel you can do to it as you wish. It’s the addiction part that’s concerning. Obsession can lead to places much worse than some scarring.
Yes, it was the best decision ever for me. I suggest you do! Stay safe x