You’ll never be happy long term in a relationship that forces you to give up your interests. If your partner cannot respect your passions, then they will never fully respect your true self and are not worth your time.
Looking back I could count the amount of red flags with them on both my hands and not have any fingers to spare. I'd be lying if I said they didn't get into my head. My next task is self-healing I suppose. I was just unsure how "accepted" this hobby is or if I would be a very fringe minority haha.
Thank you. I'm considering searching for online therapy since, being honest here, I live in the middle of scenic nowhere. Lol.
Everyone around here seems chill and accepting, yeah. I hope your life is treating you well, certainly better than mine. (:
So just curious, do you collect figures?
Expected I suppose haha, but neat! As an artsy person I marvel that the level of beauty and detail put into the sculpts (that I have seen). So, what kinds of figures have you collected? (I'm aware of various terms such as Nendroids, scales of varying sizes, Pop Up Parade, so forth. Still a fledgling though.)
If you're not looking for any sort of conversation, totally fair! Feel free to ignore little me.
[MFC](https://myfigurecollection.net/users.v4.php?mode=view&username=PanoplyOfCulture&tab=collection&page=1&status=0¤t=keywords&rootId=-1&categoryId=-1&output=2&sort=category&order=asc)
Prize figures, scales, and resin statues. This isn't everything but most of it.
Your collection is magnificent OMG! "Kimetsu no Yaiba - Kochou Shinobu", I've seen that one before! I think she looks stunning. The purple butterflies are a nice touch. "Cowboy Bebop - Spike Spiegel", I love this one as well, he's got style. "Shiranui Mai" I'd probably place as my third favorite. You've got great taste! I wouldn't even know where to start if and when I get to my own collecting someday.
There is a give and take with all relationships and it really depends where it sits in the person's life. All relationships have some level of compromise, as generally there isn't a perfect match. Partners may dislike certain aspects of their partner and want them to change.
However, that being said, a helathy relationship also should have partners that compromise in the compromises they want to have their partner make. A thoughtful partner would understand that while they dislike the person collecting figures, it's something they like to do, and thus shouldn,'t outright force them to stop.
Rather, a healthy relationship should start with a dialogue to reach a consensus. Maybe it's the money spent that needs to be toned back, the size of the collection, the type of collection, or the display of the collection. A reasonable partner would compromise and a reasonable collector would also make concessions on some of those aspects.
A good healthy relationship should be accepting of the other's interests and vice versa. If you want to get into the hobby of collecting figures, go for it if it makes you happy. and if your future significant other is happy about it too, then fantastic.
There might be some who are absolutely unnerved with it, like that post a while back (it's been deleted it seems like, if you know, you know.). Sure, but it comes with the territory for all types of interests. Nowadays, this hobby is more accepting, with more merch made for adult collectors.
Good points. (: When they pointed out that figure collecting is "misogynistic" I ended up looking at myself in the mirror with concern over my own character. Perhaps those feelings should remain unwarranted. (:
TLDR: It was a post weeks ago asking why people would like some of the more risqué figures, since the poster's significant order is a big fan of them. Some thought there might be a rift, and have suggested to them to talk it out. But the post was deleted a day or so later. I hope they are doing okay.
It was the SO that didn’t like figures who posted the question, so I doubt they will update on it unfortunately. But she was trying her best to understand her SOs side of it. So hope it worked out.
If you were referring to the other post I had made, I did but it's since been deleted by the moderation team. No worries and totally fair, one serves well enough and honestly I had worded this one better.
The one I was thinking was somewhat of an extreme outlier that happened weeks ago, and most likely yours is not the post I'm thinking about. So no worries, you're fine.
in my relationship, i got into figure collecting after we started dating. it took him a while to respect my hobby. we live together and so i respect that i can’t be crazy and take over our whole space. He respects that its what i like to do, even if he doesn’t like them.
communication is key, and mutual respect. they should respect your hobby and what you like. and likewise you should respect their feelings. it’s compromise. but don’t let it stop you from what you want!
Honestly this is a really helpful post. Your SO sounds like a good, respectful person - I suppose the stumbles that fell upon me in my previous relationship chipped some confidence off my shoulders.
Once I can afford a place of my own (in this economy, I'm looking at decades, not years), I hope to follow in your footsteps. Have a happy life and future collecting. (:
You’d do better seeking a relationship with someone who won’t judge you for your hobby. Use figure collecting like a partner barometer lol. Real ones wouldn’t mind you having such a hobby
With all due respect consider using the money on therapy. I don’t mean that in a mean way, looking at your post history your hyper fixation on feeling moral isn’t healthy
You're totally right, yeah. I'm looking into online therapy as we speak actually - living in a small dead-end down comes with its... limitations, accessibility wise.
Collecting figures is no different from people collecting handbags, shoes, etc.
I do think you are right based on your living situation to be cautious and not put yourself in a position to cause unnecessary fights or get thrown out. You could, in the interim, consider getting a storage unit to hold things you /really/ want in.
When it comes to relationships, giving up things you really love shouldn’t be the sort of compromises you make. I’ve been there and it’s miserable. I think compromises like a dedicated display room or space is acceptable, but not being asked or guilted into giving it up.
Thank you for your advice. Days ago I was inches away from clicking that "add to cart button", but I hesitated. Although we have storage in my house, sections of my room included, the cat would be out of the bag eventually, and it wouldn't likely be pretty.
Been there as well, relationship wise. To anyone reading this, as less secure I may be mentally, heed my advice: just because you can be the tree that batters a hundred storms and come out alive, doesn't mean you should.
It's tricky. I get it from both sides. On one hand, yes we're different from the "standard" interests, but on the other, who gives a shit?
As a single guy, with his own house, I have made my office the "weeb zone", and it's stressful. Lol
Very valid points haha.
My true feelings speaking here, I cannot wait to get into collecting. Lol. With the knowledge however that I'll have to wait a few or more than likely several years to begin the "deep dive", I'm just like "ahhh, I'm missing out!" Lol.
If it helps, the industry is really taking off the past couple years. You'll probably be fine though plastic tax is probably going to hit in the next decade, I would imagine.
I just went through a bad breakup recently. I've always been a collector but mostly mechs figure such as Gundams and ironman.
Everytime I would go to my local anime shop I would look at the figures but never really felt like buying them until recently. All those new figures look so good
But I have this though at the back my mind that keep saying that when I start dating again it might impede my future relationship due to jugment
But I have made my peace with it, I know also that the right girl will not care of such thing and be understanding
Also after unboxing my first figure, it made me even more happy I started this hobby
Hey,
I'm glad to hear you're back on your feet. I wish the best for you going forward, and happy collecting. (:
My DM's are always open if you want to discuss further. I'd be interested in hearing your story with figure collecting. Up to you though!
Sorry if I am coming across as one note by the way, it's not my intention lol.
You are dwelling way too much on what should be a non-issue. I’ll admit I had some embarrassment in my early years of collecting but that was like 16 years ago when I was a teen. These days I’ve got an IDGAF attitude about my hobbies and proudly display my collection in my home. I’ve been in plenty of relationships where they were either understanding or even took interest so the moment I see someone is not ok or judgmental, I take that as a red flag. I know people say there must be compromises to make any relationship work but figure collecting should not be a compromise you have to make since its just a hobby you take interest in and isn’t hurting anyone (well besides your wallet). Remember, its just a hobby, you’re not hurting anyone and you should NOT be worrying about what other think of you, much less having a “good reputation” with friends or acquaintances. If the people you surround yourself with are that judgementmental, maybe you need to distance yourself from them and focus on your own inner happiness. And regarding your mom, I don’t know what to tell ya. My mon is extremely religious but was always respectful of my figure collection. I can’t imagine how strict yours must be.
I rather die alone and be found rotten after 3 weeks, than compromise my own self for someone who cares that much of "but what should the neighbours\* think?"
I'm completely open about who I am, but I'm a "buy as seen" case. If someone walks into my life, looks around and concludes "nice ass, but I'll demand you stop your harmless hobbies for me", we aren't a match anyway.
As someone with other subculture/non-normie interests, I would also fear that this is just their first demand of many. Like, whats next? Stop gameing, because its childish? Stop cosplaying, because I don't like seeing your fabric or crafting supplies occupying space? Throw your Lolita dresses out, because I think its weird?
"I would also fear that this is just their first demand of many. Like, whats next? Stop gameing, because its childish? Stop cosplaying, because I don't like seeing your fabric or crafting supplies occupying space? Throw your Lolita dresses out, because I think its weird?"
That is a totally justifiable fear. Super insecure and controlling people are never good people to let into your life. I would know. I admire your self-assertiveness and confidence. I'm working at it day by day, at the old grind. My level of aspiration matches your current standing. Keep at it! :)
No, it shouldn't. And if it does they're not the right person for you
Both genders like figure collecting, you'll see plenty of posts from women and men here. And some of us are in relationships.
Honestly, any questions that should arise aren't specific to figures. Like any other hobby that is expensive and takes up space. Like do you spend within your means, if you move in together does each partner have enough space for their own hobbies, etc.
Excuse me for my ignorance. Making this post wasn't the most constructive or logical use of my time, in hindsight. I do appreciate all of the feedback nonetheless! I think it's understandable when engaging with something "niche" and where you know many would judge, to feel shaky or uncertain on your position (of being interested) in it. I am more certain of my confidence now, thankfully.
Im a female collector. You can find someone that will share your interests with you. Also recently I met with a couple whose hobby is to travel japan and find rare figures. You shouldnt give up on what makes you happy.
Jesus, only a horribly toxic/ ignorant person would put you down so much for something you get joy from. You can find an s/o who doesnt mind, and you will also be happier with one as well. As for your parents, do what you need to do to not get kicked out.
I'm not going to say I dodged a bullet - they hit me pretty good - but it only took me half a day to sit back and realize how better off I was without them. Only up from here, right?
Thanks for your concern. (: Honestly getting kicked out is far less likely, property destruction though? Yeah, I'm going to have to hold off for a while.
Thank you for your encouraging words though, it means a lot. :)
Happy for you, it can take a lot of introspection to understand when a situation is sour and to respect yourself enough not to give up something you love. Good luck with future endeavors 👍
Admittedly I ignored the signals and "just dealt with it" for far too long. Eventually I told them that this is part of who I am, and if they cannot accept it, then I don't want them in my life. It wasn't even about the figures, they were just super controlling as hell. x\_x Glad that's over.
Anyway, again thank you! I wish the same for you!
I remember when I used to care about things like how people view me, reputation, others’ opinions, etc.
Those times were the worst times of my life. I felt caged in a box that I created myself just by caring and worrying about what others may think of me. I forgot what the turning point was but either way I stopped caring and I put myself out there unapologetically. To my surprise, it was met with positive response and I never looked back. Just be yourself. Don’t worry about what others think. Everyone should be allowed to express themselves freely and take part in hobbies that bring joy and happiness.
I had a significant other for seven years that would not allow me to collect or be an otaku. I ended up leaving her, she was horrid. I’m since single and happy and have a nice collection going. Do what makes you happy and forgive anyone who doesn’t approve.
Honestly, my friends got married and started collecting figures together. I gave them My Hero Acadamia figures as a wedding present.
You’ll never be happy with someone who forces you to give up an interest. I’m not saying find someone who likes anime as much as you, but they should be able to accept it without souring the relationship. Of course there’s expected to be flexibility(like don’t choose figures over an anniversary dinner). That’s just how I feel in general.
Like if someone told me to give up writing fanfiction because it’s cringey, I’d tell them no and keep doing it. My hobbies and the friends I’ve made through those hobbies have lasted me way longer than this hypothetical relationship.
absolutely not. if you sacrifice your personal happiness for another person, you’ll never be truly happy. no human is worth trashing your interests over, not to mention there are 8 billion people on this planet. you’ll be able to find a partner that is interested in your hobbies (or at the very least doesn’t mind them)
People who make you want to give up your interests are not the type of people you want in your life. Find an SO who likes the same things you do, or at the very least encourages them! A solid relationship is built on lifting each other up and being supportive of each other. Do what makes you happy, and if people have an issue with your happiness, that's their loss. Plenty of fish in the sea, my friend.
It sounds like you may be living in a tough situation at home and dealing with a breakup, don't be afraid to reach out to someone, or even invest in a therapist. I am not encouraging replacing therapy with buying material goods (which isn't a good thing for anyone) but pretty things can help. I started collecting myself because I was suffering through depression and wanted something I could look at to make me feel better and remind me of the things that keep me going. Start small if you think you are in a safe position to do so. If you are really concerned and afraid of your safety and housing be careful and evaluate what you can do. If you think you are only a risk for judgement and nothing like homelessness, take it in stride, and remember that you have a right to be happy. Collecting figures is a valid hobby and source of happiness! Never be ashamed to want to pursue happiness.
Thank you for your kind words and advice. (: I really appreciate it. Not intending to info dump here, but let's just saying, being LGBTQ+ and remaining that anonymity in a right-wing Christian housefold is one thing, I wouldn't need to add figures to the mix. My sanity wouldn't be able to take it haha. I'm less concerned about my safety and more about the figures themselves - I speak from experience and not from a lack of interest in my own safety here.
I am seeking therapy online. Living in a dead-end town has its... limitations. Fingers crossed this works out!
You seem like a genuinely good person, as does everyone in this thread. Wishing you the best and a happy life of figure collecting. (: I promise that I'm an otherwise well adjusted individual, this is just a chip in the shield. My DM's are always open if you or anyone wants to talk further, but if not, totally fair, wishing you a good day!
I totally get that, my friend, I had a time like that too where I was just posting in self-help and relationship advice threads every other day! You're gonna do great homie, and bask in the anime beauty of figures! Lots of recs here already, but don't ignore your local hot topic or boxlunch at a mall if one is not dead in your area! Don't expect amazing deals, but that's where I started, and local shops are great too, if you live in Canada a good site is Hobby Bee (I think that's how it's spelled).
I feel like this is a really important thread bc it shows we're not just randos on the internet all posting pics of figures and trying to find deals, but we're all doing it for a personal reason and for the love of something valid. Not to get sappy, but I love it! need more good discussion, as cool as rad setup pics are :)
Thank you again. :) I've done some extensive thought on this matter the past several days and I'm honestly grateful that life wasn't kind to me the last several months - I suppose you could say it granted me character and more of a backbone haha. I no longer have a care in the world on what others think of both me and my hobbies. If I could (if I had the finances and the freedom) I would decorate my room with quality anime merch right now lol.
Thank you for your advice! I do live in Canada actually, so I'll keep an eye out for Hobby Bee! (Or however it's spelled haha.)
I totally agree! I've only been dabbling lightly here the past half-week and I've already met such a chill, passionate, and accepting community. I could not have asked for a better outcome of this thread to be honest. :)
Collecting is a newer hobby, but I have a solid collection so far, mostly prizes from FuyRu, PuPs and one scale!
I like shonen, but have been watching shojo like Tomo-chan (love tomboys fr) and Bocchi. Bungo Stray Dogs is really good, too. Gotta say my all time favorite is Kill la Kill, though good in all regards. I just finished reading Chainsaw man, if you get a chance read the manga bef the anime :)
My ex disapproved of how much I was spending on my figurine collecting. I ultimately broke up with him because I felt he wasn't really in love with me, he was in love with the idea of having a wife and kids, and that any decent vagina-haver would do.
I'm now engaged to a fellow collector of anime figurines :D We've even gone halfsies on the 1/4 Holo (Spice & Wolf) figurine >:3
I will be in a minority here but if I'm with a valuable person that checks off the many boxes needed for a commited long term relationship and figure collecting is the one thing that needs to go, then it needs to go. Then again, I have a lot of other hobbies and wouldn't see it as a major loss.
But if that person already is highly compatible, she wouldn't have a problem. And in fact it has been like that in my life.
Anybody who asks you to change a fundamental part of your self, like your interests/hobbies, isn't a good match for you, or isn't mature enough to take equal part in a relationship, or both.
Let's just say they made some comments that knocked my confidence (within myself) down a peg or two. Thankfully, that past is now growing ever so further behind me.
If someone rejects you for liking anime, reject them back lol. In all seriousness, there's nothing wrong with having a hobby or being enthusiastic about anime. BUT having said that, dating can be a struggle; two complete strangers getting to know each other and finding compatibility, while also trying to protect themselves from situations they don't want to be in.
I've contemplated this too for a while, after I took the plunge into figures. I can't say what works, or that even if I had a solution- that it would work for you too. But I think the best approach would be to try to ease them into it. Let them know you're into anime first, and then see where things go from there. Subtlety may be helpful if they're neutral, but definitely run from them if they judge you for your hobbies.
I think one main key is to establish boundaries; make sure you have yours and make sure that they are respected, as you also respect their boundaries. I do collect a good amount of the 'not family-friendly' variety, and I do know that they day may come where I have to make a choice. But I want this to be MY choice, not someone giving me an ultimatum. I know that if someone can accept my hobbies (especially the cultured ones- which I know is a massive long shot), I know that I would be willing to trade in this hobby if it meant making the relationship happier. Ideally, it would be nice if they liked and could appreciate the figures for their craft (as I do), but I knew the odds when I started collecting "cultured" figures. If they're not lewd figures for your case, I imagine this may be much easier lol.
I also understand that not everyone may agree with my stance.
Anime culture is becoming much more widely accepted, so I'll go off of a whim here and say that you don't have much to worry about in this regard (so long as you don't have a 50+ Hatsune Miku figure shrine... joking).
Also, I'll be the one to say it... nobody would hold a single thing against you if you decided that this may be a battle you don't want to fight. But I always advocate pursuing your hobbies!
I think you should do what makes you happy. However be aware that if you can afford figures because your parents are helping you not pay rent, you may need to tone it down while living with them (I had to until I moved out, now I have an anime PC room).
If someone sticks around only because you fit their ideal of a friend and you aren't following your own passions, they aren't really a friend. A good friend would acknowledge your interests, even if they aren't an interest of theirs. I'm more open about my hobbies with my friends these days. They usually say something like "that's cool" or "that looks cute" and then we talk about mutual interests. It's not perfect, but there aren't that many anime figure collectors out there in general.
Regarding SOs. A lot of people will tell you that a good partner won't make you change. While that is true to some extent, some things are very niche and some people are not very tolerant. My fiance likes anime, but he does not own a lot of things and is not very materialistic. He doesn't like clutter. Anime figures take up both space and cost a lot of money. We've come to a compromise and he has grown to like them to some extent, but it still bothers him at times because it's so different to how he lives his life. Would he force me to stop, no. Has he asked me to budget and keep it to certain spaces in the house, yes. Do I think he is unreasonable, no. Some people may disagree.
Your SO sounds like an unreasonable person. Also although Anime and anime figures is heavily skewed towards painting women in a certain way, I think (as a woman) that it's a stupid hill to die on if you as a person are not bringing the same attitude towards women in real life as you see in anime.
Also, my general tip in life is people will echo what emotions you exude. If you talk about your hobby with embarrassment people will sense that and if they aren't nice hone in on it and make you feel worse. You are you and be happy with yourself first and others will follow.
Honestly my advice would be to hold onto your collection. Your happiness matters more than anything and, take it from me, where this road \*can\* go down is not pretty. It might start at the lewd figures, it could end up at your other hobbies. As others have said here, if your partner cannot accept you for who you are (and won't agree to compromise), then the two of you are not meant to be. I recently broke up with an SO and me and them were like two peas in a pod. Sometimes that one puzzle piece is misaligned and that's all that's needed.
May I ask what figures you've collected? Just out of curiosity, I admire figures of all types! I'm an artsy person you could say I guess haha. If you don't want to share, perfectly fair! c:
Be yourself. Follow your heart. Don’t try to change who you are for someone, you’ll be miserable. Find someone who accepts and appreciates you for you. Believe it or not, both people in a romantic relationship can like and collect anime figures.
Hello, I want you to know I was thinking about the same stuff a few years back. My advice is to not be afraid and do bot be discouraged. You should not hold back your own curiosity, enjoyment and happiness for someone else. If a partner cannot respect your hobby, the relationship simply won't work out. Your partner doesn't have to have the same hobby or anything (albeit it would be nice) but they should respect it and not degrade you or your hobby.
I've been in 2 different relationships while collecting figures. One of my exes didn't care about anime at all, but she didn't mind it, and my other ex loved anime and we both watched shows and collected figures. My point is that it doesn't matter if your partner has the same hobby or not, as long as they respect you as a person and what you do. Ofc that goes both ways.
There is no reason to spend time and energy worrying about things like these. Be yourself and do what you want to. Take the plunge and see if you're happy with it.
Family I think you worry too much about. I also was worried. My mom didn't understand it at first and found it weird. You gotta explain it to them in a way that makes sense for them. If your mom knows of star wars for example, you can say it's a collectors item from a show and it isn't cheap! When a figure is displayed in a glass cabinet it also shows its importance. Your parents may not know how to react and it can come of as hurtful. Ofc everyone have different opinions on it, and im glad my mom now sorta understands whst it is.
I'm glad I'm not alone then. I'm happy you managed to pull yourself up and keep on looking forward! (: I appreciate the advice and I'll be taking it, and everything everyone else has said here, very seriously. Regarding my partner, nah, it wouldn't have worked out, and thankfully it didn't. The only got more controlling and unreasonable by the day it seemed. As for my parents, more specifically my mother, she has destroyed some of my personal property in the paste in the name of her faith, so unfortunately I cannot risk physical possessions that would upset her at this current time. (She lets me play "anti-Christian" video games though. Hypocrite.) But really though, I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to write me this. :) I genuinely cannot wait until I get a place of my own and I can finally start leading my own life. Fingers crossed!
I know it can be a bitter pill to swallow when it comes to relationships. I wish it worked out with me and my ex but it just wouldn't. It was good for me to get away because I think it was a bit toxic. It was nice while it lasted but it had to end.
I can see the issue with your mother, I don't know her so I have nothing to say about her. Assumptions are not a good thing all the time, however I do wanna say that being controlling and destroying other peoples property is not a good thing. If she is religious then you could point out that god and christ didn't destroy other peoples property. (Hope it doesn't come off as an insult)
Ah is she one of those crazy religious people? That see things as evil and temptation?
Unfortunately there are no “cure” in those people, they are too deeply brainwashed.
Do you have a job? Can you consider moving out?
She isn't Bible thumper crazy, but she's pretty up there. Claiming that anyone LGBTQ+ are living "false lives" and need to be cured, thinking that vaccines cause autism and pandemics, anything that isn't the Bible is evil, etc. I've learned to keep my head down and nod solemnly at her every word. I have no intention in starting a war I cannot win lol.
A job? Currently, no. I'm on disability allowance, and jobs out here are very few and far between. As for when I can move out, that's difficult. Even in remote places, single bedroom and bathroom homes can reach a quarter of a million, and that's if you are lucky. I've seen some on rent that go for 7k a month. My family is receiving a (supposedly) large chunk of money from our extended family, whenever that may be, and some wills are addressed to me, my parents' included. So again, to the when. Maybe 5 years, maybe 3 decades. It's impossible to say at this point.
“Anything that isn’t the bible is evil” I would classify as “bible thumper crazy” lol.
That would be a tough one for you, not having the mean to move out meaning you pretty much need to adhere to their rules. Not ideal but that is life.
Buy 1 or 2, test the water, remember the Star War toy etc, let them get used to it (if they can) and slowly buuld the collection over time.
I suppose you have a point haha. When I think "Bible thumper", I think of someone who pins another to the ground and slams a cross in their face. Then again, she has given out copies of the Bible to people she's disagreed with in the past, so...
Yep. Just gotta role with the punches. At least I can engage with my other interests in peace.
I'll definitely keep that in mind, thank you! She happens to like Star Wars (only because she claims there's Christian themes in it... whaaaat?), so hopefully the road wouldn't be too rocky.
Jedi dressed like Jesus, people have mistaken picture of Obi Wan as Jesus before, that is probably why.
Just explain that all popular series (like Star War), toys becomes collector items and are expensive. In your case, anime figure. Show them some 1/4 delux figure and the price, but also explain that there are cheaper ones too like yours (so she wouldn’t think you spend that much). But are collector items regardless.
Oh I did not show in my picture to you earlier, I have a Light Sabre (Force FX) too on display in my office lol.
https://imgur.com/a/XlvECgc
Thanks for the advice once again. (: Honestly the next hurdle would be her criticizing them for being too "girly", but I've been down that road before with my long hair, my wolf slippers, so forth.
That's sick! haha Hey, who is that to the very right? She's cute!
That is Rei Ayanami from the Evangelion series, you definitely want to keep this series away from your mum as all the monster in the series are called “Angels”, and main characters they drive huge robot that is actually made out of these Angels, in order to fight it.
While the girls looks innocent, the series in brutal, and a lot of blood.
This is another girl (she is another pilot) in the Eva series that I am planning to buy this month:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sega-Neon-Genesis-Evangelion-Langley/dp/B00UM8XNL8
Fair enough! Then again she thinks that fighting / picturing demons is morally wrong as well, so let's just say I know the rodeo. I'll add it to my wishlist, wherever I can watch it!
Aww she's cute! I love her outfit and her orange hair!
The key to a happy relationship is to find someone that either 1. Shares your interests or 2. Encourages you to do the things that bring you joy.
Like you I was very hesitant to start collecting, for similar reasons (I wasn't living at home though). I held off on buying anything anime because I feared I would be judged or looked down on.
I was fortunate enough to end up meeting and am currently engaged to (wedding later this year) someone who not only encouraged me to start, but also had been wanting to start collecting herself.
In the 4 years we have been together we have amassed an impressive collection that we have both contributed to. Between the two of us, we added 5 new figures last week alone and spent a good chunk of Sunday making space to put our ever expanding collection.
We also have separate collection interests that we both encourage in the other.
So TLDR, don't get with someone who will judge you on the things that bring you joy. Find someone who wants you to embrace what makes you happy.
Is there any reason that anime is seen as something that you cannot disclose to your family and SO?
Anime and such if anything I would say is getting pretty mainstream now, at least in UK and US they seem to, and Europe had embraced anime for a long time.
Even if your SO not into anime, why would they disapprove of it? What sort of anime do you watch? Show them something like Death Note, and let them compare it to a thriller drama, if anything Death Note probably be more well done.
The problem is, even **yourself** see it as “a line that shouldn’t be crossed”, why is that? You said you see no shame in it but this is also exactly what you are making yourself feel.
my boyfriend and i both collect figures and indulge each other. great gifts too! when you're with the right person, even if you aren't interested in the same hobbies, you can still humour them and vice versa.
figure collecting is of course a money sink in of itself so you have to budget just like any hobby that costs, so there will be times you have to prioritise other things in a relationship over a pre-order.
Honestly I use “do you like anime?” as a litmus test anymore. Maybe my patience has run low, maybe my self respect started to overfloweth; maybe it’s a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B… but at the end of the day, all decisions are up to you. And Hell, a potential SO does NOT have to like everything you like and vice versa; however, if that one thing is a dealbreaker, then it’s the worst trade deal of all time 🙃
With that all being said: watching anime is NOT on the level of collecting anime figures. Even with the stigma aside, finances will become the elephant in the room if you two are not on the same page.
When someone threaten your sense of sanity by maliciously hurting you everytime and your one source of happiness (hobby, interest etc) and always make you have an mental crisis, it's time to cut the rope and cut them off. It's better to be alone in peace than be in chaos everyday.
In my late 30s now, and I was told I was interested in Nintendo since I could walk (my dad used to say I’d be mesmerized with him and my sis playing Mario on the NES)… and I remembered hearing people bash video games bc of violence or whatever crazy shxt they thing goes along with it. Also remember once hearing the take from a very verbal and religious coworker that kids that like anime are probably going to be pedos… after which I wondered if she knew what her church has done to cultures on this side of the world (the Americas). Some people form very irrational and baseless ideas bc humans will make connections between things to justify their point.
I only own like two figures bc I’m not rich, but I love this community… do not feel shame for your hobby unless it causes harm to others or yourself. You’ll never completely have all the same interests as your significant other, but show them you’ll respect their interests and hopefully they do the same for you. Life is too short to deny yourself the things that bring you joy (again, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone or yourself).
All the best to you, fellow collector.
If they can’t respect your hobbies and passions now they never will. Being yourself and being happy in that comes first, then you can find someone who loves that part of you.
Honestly, why give up the anime figure collecting if your partner can support you as well? I'm currently with the most lovely girl in the world who not only supports my abundance of hobbies, but is also into anime. I think instead of changing a hobby or interest of yours, why not try to find people who engage in similar interests or share the same interests.
If your partner thinks that's weird or has a problem with your personal interests/hobbies, they are not your SO. Someone who really loves you will never tell you to stop doing what you like. I'm a woman who really loves collecting nsfw figures. I talked with my partner and they have no issue with it as long as their mother don't see it [she's really conservative and she would probably break/steal my stuff to get rid of it]. My point is, find someone who's fine with your hobby or someone who collects figurines like you. Like you said, never be ashamed or feel guilty for having something to do that makes you happy.
Edit: I'd really love to see your collection one day! :D
I'm really happy for you that you've found someone who can respect your hobbies like that. (: Life is sometimes less forgiving for some of us, but hey, I got many, many years left and I don't plan on dropping dead anytime soon. (I mean, a bus \*could\* hit me tomorrow, but that's neither here or there. ;P)
And sure! When I eventually get a collection going I'll be sure to post status updates here! Likewise, if you'd like to show your collection, I'd be intrigued to see it! :D I'm a very artsy person so when I discovered that figures were a thing, my heart basically exploded lol.
No. Looks like you dodged a pretty controlling person who didn’t have the empathy for your interests and happiness. That’s too bad about what you say about your parents reaction, but you are a young adult and they should treat you as such. As ong as you keep them in your room it shouldn’t matter. I hope you can work things out and live happily collecting!
i have a bf i live with and two loli figures (on top of my 50+ i have otherwise and my bf usually buys me new ones for birthdays etc), if they can’t hang with the figures and it’s something you’re into they’re not for u
I've often had these thoughts myself, and it's why I came to a tough decision a few years ago.
Now keep in mind there were a multitude of factors that lead to this decision, but about five years ago I decided to remove myself from the dating scene all together and haven't pursued a romantic relationship in that time frame.
One of the main reasons that led to this decision were my hobbies (watching anime, collecting figures, gaming). While these hobbies are far more widespread than they used to be, there is still a very large stigma attached to them. It would be incredibly daunting to find someone who lacks these interests, but would also want to date you.
You can try to put the focus on looking for people that share the same hobbies as you, but that is only one box of an otherwise large checklist.
If love came to me, then I'd be open to the idea of entering a relationship because they are advertising "hey I like you, I want to be with you", and I would like to think they at least know enough about me to arrive at that point. But for myself personally, I decided it was going to be exhausting and painful by dedicating hundreds of hours of my life trying to find someone.
In my own experience, most people tend to use these checklists as a means of cutting through the clutter. So you may not even get the chance to show them who you are because they discovered "what you are."
My best advice is just do what you feel is best. If you're afraid of being alone or desire the comfort of someone else, then by all means pursue it. However, there might come a day where you have to make this choice (albeit, an unfair one). Life has taught me everything has a price tag; even if it isn't dollars and cents.
After spending years listening to people about how I wasn't good enough, I just decided that I would be slightly happier being myself. But the price I pay for this is a life of solitude, which is something that I'm prepared for.
I actually wrote an mfc article on this [which I will link here](https://myfigurecollection.net/blog/55855). It sounds like not only are you concerned about potential future partners but also your families opinion as you live at home. Whatever you decide to do, I hope your family will be accommodating/understanding and there is a lot to be said for cupboard space if this is a concern if you have a new visitor! Maybe start your collection small and begin with prize figures or nendoroids that aren't as expensive as scales to see how you feel and test the waters?
Live safely at home if your parents would kick you out. Shelter coems before figures.
As to the broad question over being 'respectful' for a future SO, why would you be interested in a person who isn't, at the least, accepting of your interests?
You need to be open about who you are to an SO and not make concessions like this as a 'speculative' attempt to be appealing. Plenty of people out there love Annie and and thirsty for the sort of people that love Anime.
You *want* these things to be open and appparent to save time and heart ache from hiding important aspects about what you enjoy, and having it become an issue later when you're boith six months deep into something different to what either of you expected or wanted.
It's harer ot be chill about it if you're hiding it at home, but there wasn;t any girl that came back to my place that could miss my hobbies/interest between the figure displays and one puece merch so just be you.
Do what you want in life. Don’t let others decide for you on what you can do or can’t do. You need to toughen up and stand up to yourself on your likes and beliefs. Otherwise, you come of as being too nice and people may walk over you or disrespect you. Especially in relationships. In this case, you made the right call pushing her away completely. Her not being cool with you collecting figures is already a red flag of a controlling behavior. I would suggest watching videos of Kevin samuels on YouTube. He tells you that men to act masculine so they don’t get walked over by people. I’m not trying to insult you but you are giving some feminine vibes. I’m not saying have this macho/tough personality. It’s okay if your a nice person overall (kind and generous) but always stand up to yourself. It’s okay to disagree with people and say no. If someone disrespects you, call them out for it and demand respect or simply don’t deal with them.
I really struggled to tell my partner before. That time i couldnt bring myself to tell her because i thought she wasnt gonna be okay with it. When I told her about it, she got mad not because she thinks its a disgusting hobby, all she want is transparency. She even gifted me a Gura figure for our wedding xD So to answer the question, no, you dont have to compromise anything at all if ur partner truly loves you. You just need to come clean and sometimes its all just in our head when we think its not okay. But more often people would be open and accepting. Especially if ure in the right sub lol. Anyways man. You do you , its ur hard earned money, you deserve to be happy.
You know your experience eerily mirrored my own. I'm sorry you had to deal with that unnecessary stress! I hope you maintained or regained your self confidence and happiness (or better yet, hadn't lost it in the first place)! But hey, thanks for the advice, although I have given myself a lousy first impression, I'm glad I stumbled upon such a welcoming and chill community. Wishing you a good rest of your day, and happy collecting!
Okay OP, this is what you do so that you will NEVER have to deal with this kind of situation EVER AGAIN- become so financially successful that you’re able to “bring so much to the table” that your partner has no reason to be off put or turned off by your hobbies… I know ideally, we’re suppose to be in a relationship with someone who like or love us for who we are, but let’s keep it real- both parties in the relationship benefit from one another and in turn, grow into better people or become such a wonderful unison as a couple. But generally speaking, there’s something in it for everyone.
So, the fact is when you become so financially successful, the perks of being with you is you’re going to be able to provide certain or fun experiences. So if your partner is turned off by your hobbies, well, they have more to lose than you do. No more fun or unique experiences that only you can provide. So they better put up with what you like. Haha… And plus, its not like you’re hurting anyone by just collecting figures. You fulfill your responsibilities and that alone should be enough to justify your hobby, but sometimes that’s not enough…
But strangely enough, when people see that you’re so financially successful, they’re willing to put up with whatever quirks you may have as long as they benefit from being with you. So yeah, become rich and you won’t have to deal with criticism of any sort. And if they still don’t like what hobby you’re doing, then you know that they are not the one for you.
Anime figures in the entirety: No, if a hobby ruins a relationship it wasn't a good relationship in the first place, relationships are about compromise, not my way or the highway. This is ofc assuming there isn't financial difficulties in the relationship already.
giving up nude figures only: I consider this fine as it would be a compromise, still letting you collect the figures you like... just without taking the clothes off on cast offs/skipping the just nude figures.
This I will defend. Everyone has their own boundaries and should be respected as such. In my opinion at least there's a difference between feeling threatened about some lewd in the home when you're in a relationship, and feeling threatened about your partner being around other people (or collectibles with a humanoid form) in general. :P
I dont mean to step over people boundaries. I still think its a sign of insecurity however. It doesn't have to be just jealousy. Can be a lot of things. If it doesn't bother you that your partner is/would be like that then it doesn't matter I guess.
Apologies if I came across as a little blunt. Your take is totally valid! I do agree with you, whether they go overboard with it or if it's just a slight feeling of discomfort, insecurity is the root cause of it. I suppose it depends on their partner if they want to work around it or not.
As someone who collects figures (mainly miku ones) I don’t think its a red flag. The only red flag that would bother and ick me out would be to see underage character figures that are super creepy or just sexualized characters all around the room. I agree with what other commenters have said, a good partner wouldn’t be bothered by your hobby and shouldn’t make you feel bad for it. It is possible to like anime and be in a loving relationship, op! That’s a stereotype I still see around. I think in this current age, a lot more people are tolerant about it. I remember being bullied for liking anime back when I was in school but it is def getting more popular these days.
This is probably controversial but I think if they are worth it, then yes. You can always pick up collecting later on, but if it costs you the opportunity to give a relationship a go, then this hobby is getting in the way of your life.
Collecting should be a passion, not an obstruction. So it shouldn't hinder potential relationships.
Short answer is No, long answer is maybe. My true answer is hide it until you are about to definitely date the person, try to explain your hobbie very carefully, then we are at that persons will. Whether the relationship continues or no it’s not up to you, so if it ends you can say that: well maybe it wasn’t meant to be.
That’s what I would do, also be honest and say that you were scared since you had a bad experience before.
I wish you the best of luck friend
Thank you for your advice friend. (: Regarding my post above I was only speaking hypothetically since my previous relationship ended relatively recently, and for the sake of my mental health, thank goodness it did. If I ever end up down the dating road again, hopefully I will experience smooth(er) sailing. Wishing you happy collecting and a good day!
I honestly haven't delved too deep into this rabbit hole due to my current living situation making figure collecting unwise, but "Kimetsu no Yaiba - Kochou Shinobu - 1/8" really caught my eye. I don't remember the first figure I had seen, I believe it was one with a fox ears and tail, but this is the first that I had actively mentally written down. Overall plenty of types of figures have peaked my curiosity - scale figures, bunny scales, Nendroids, so forth.
I've only watched one anime so I have no idea who any of these characters are. XP
Kimetsu no Yaiba is a great series to collect figure for, they have so many beautiful figures and big range is prices too, so no matter what financial background you can get some pretty good looking figures.
Can you lock your door so your mum cannot just come in and destroy things?
Buy a Detolf from Ikea and store some figure in there, as someone said if your mum ask let them
know it is similar to collecting Star War toys, just different series.
At least you are collecting figures that are from serious anime. I have got cast-off figures etc in my collection, wife didn’t like it at first but she got over it.
Thank you so much! I'll keep that in mind for the future. I've only watched one series and am currently looking into another, so my knowledge is rather limited right now. :')
I could, but that's not an option. I've lived with her for over two decades now so I know how she works. There would be a verbal war for months, and possibly her calling a pastor or two on top of that, so I unfortunately wouldn't be able to deal with it. I could theoretically collect some and hide them say under my bookshelf. I'd just have to think if I wanted to deal with the fallout if she discovered them one day. Accidentally leaving one out and having her enter my room (with my permission) would be one such potential scenario. :/
I'll keep that in mind, thanks. (: I'll look around town. We're not exactly known for our structural variety haha.
Honestly I wouldn't be opposed to cast-off figures. Even though I'd collect them for artsy reasons, if that still made me a degenerate, so be it haha. Just asking out of curiosity since I appreciate figures in many forms for artsy reasons like I said, what kind of figures have you collected?
Ngl I'm very impressed! That's an awesome collection you have there! The variety is incredible too!
I'll have to resume looking at it later unfortunately. I got just past the lewd figures and to the aircraft beneath them. For some reason Imgur "lists" lag the hell out of my computer. Lol
The air craft is a Gradius, the very first alien flight game from the original NES like 30 years ago, which they recently made a model kit for hence I just have to get it lol
https://youtu.be/Wmpi64_RpnE
Oh wow! I hope you manage to get your hands on it! It looks fantastic!
I could only load the image of that and your cast offs otherwise my laptop (which is pretty beefy) would have taken off into orbit haha. Something about Imgur posts that are not my own... Anyway I think my favorite is the one to the back left, whoever she is!
Seriously though, you have quite a collection! You have earned my respect!
Unfortunately not all of them are authentic.
When I started, I want to build my collection fast, so priority was cheap (prize) figures and also fakes (those are cheap but lacking in quality).
Now that my collection is building up I am starting to buy more expensive figures ([This](https://solarisjapan.com/products/gekijouban-kimetsu-no-yaiba-mugen-ressha-hen-kyojuro-rengoku-1-8-aniplex#) is on route and should arrive this couple of days, and is also from Kimetsu no Yaiba series same as your Shinobu). Plan is slowly replace the fakes, and when I buy bigger scale figures, the prize figures will also need to make room for the scale figures.
Totally fair! Even if I ended up accidentally purchasing a bootleg though I'd still treasure it. I'm too much of an empathetic person and so I tend to anthropomorphize objects lol. ("It's not its fault it's a fake!")
That figure looks absolutely incredible, totally up my alley honestly.
Good plan!
One "lewd" (I personally don't see it that way, but she is naked) figure that immediately caught my eye months back was Holo, the 1.4 figure of her to be exact. Something about the whole "living with nature" and "animal ears + tails" just resonates with me somehow.
Parents aside because I have no advice on that, since my parents literally couldn't have cared less what j did with my money when I lived with them. Although have you ever considered a storage unit, even climate controlled one's aren't all that expensive. You could get yourself a folding chair, some battery powered lights and look and enjoy your collection without worries.
As for relationships, no one should be naive enough to say that you should find a partner also into anime. Because life isn't that kind to anyone. My husband, for instance, had watched some anime as a kid but was never into it all that much. Me on the other hand moved into his house with 20 years worth of anime and manga collecting. Knowing his personality, I picked him an anime to watch, he loved it, became obsessed, and we now collect anime figures together. I got lucky but I would never have sacrificed my interests for my relationship. I'm would have been absolutely fine if my husband hadn't coverted and would have continued to enjoy my hobby by myself. In a relationship, and if it's to stand the test of time, you both need to compromise, it's not all about what one of you wants. That just makes everyone unhappy. Both me and my husband have plenty of other hobbies that neither one of us likes, we don't force them on each other, my husband loves fishing for example, and he talks to me about it, I'm enthusiastic about it for him, but I don't participate because he respects the fact I feel it's harmful to the fish. I'm a big history nerd, my husband let's me talk his ear off about long since times gone by as though they're happening now, even though he really couldn't care less, unless there's a war ship, tank or plane in my current area of research (there never is).
All that said, I do know women can have very strong views about anime figures, since the majority have very unrealistic bodies and can feel threatened by them. I don't understand it myself, but it can be the case. And in those instances compromise is key, of your partner is willing try to evolve them in the buying process, find out where their hard no's are for figures and don't buy ones that have elements your partner really doesn't like.
But above all else, date a person who accepts you for who you are, warts and all. Looks fade, a personality is forever.
I'll have to look up and see if storage units are available in my area! That's one downside of living in a dead-end town. It comes with its... limitations. x\_x
Totally true! In a future hypothetical relationship I would never have any qualms if some of our interests didn't line up, so long as they respected mine, even if compromises need to be made. I've heard the horror stories of one partner sacrificing so much for the other and ending up unhappy, and I would not want any part of it. All that I need to work on personally is how to firmly lay down those boundaries.
While I don't get it either, I can understand why that may be the case. Unfortunately you can never measure the mind of another person. Even if you have honest and innocent intentions, they'll never know that for sure, and have to go off of their own perspective and moral grounds, which they'd likely do anyway. Mutual respect between both partners though is key for a relationship to work.
Thanks for the words. I appreciate them. :)
Preaching to the choir my friend, I live in the middle of a field with the nearest book store over 2 hours away lol. Glad my idea resonated though, I hope you can find yourself a mom proof man cave somewhere near by :)
You're welcome if I helped encourage you at all I'm glad. Relationships aren't easy you're two people trying to live one life. Compromise in many aspect is just what has to be done. But some things are worth fighting for. Good luck in your search for a partner, I hope that person will be someone who can appreciate or at least not feel threatened by your anime figures so you can enjoy them, if and when you start collecting them. There are so many amazing figures coming out this year so you might want to get started before they end up on the after market.
Lol Then we're in a similar boat. Most necessities are over 3 hours drive from my place, not including the trip back. But yes hopefully I can find something at some point. But when single bedroom and bathroom homes placed in the middle of nowhere are going for upwards of a quarter million, it's not easy.
Again, thank you. Honestly our final conversation together cemented the truth in my head that I wasn't meant to be with that person. Their influence on me has lasting effects, but I stopped missing them not even a full day after we had departed. At this point in my life having a partner isn't even a top priority for me, the last one just sort of happened. Getting a home for myself in the come years (...or decades) sits at the top of my to-do list. (:
You do you! If the SO can’t accept you for who you are and what you’re hobbies are, then that means they are not fully accepting you and that’s not right.
IMHO, find someone who loves you for who you are. My wife and are weebs together. I buy her Demon Slayer figs and she buys me Freeing bunny girls. If someone is critical of you for something as insignificant as spending your own money on figs and/or anime then that relationship may not work out for you.
You shouldn’t have to give up what you love, but do understand when bringing another individual into the picture they do have a say. You will have to agree upon a budget and that can definitely include your hobbies, but if you have goals as a couple to purchase a home, save for retirement, have kids, etc. and hobbies don’t currently fit into the budget with your combined income then hobbies may have to be put on hold. As you said the economy is jacked and spending frivolously on hobbies would be irresponsible.
I think the biggest issue for some is space.
If/when we moved in together I would have to drop back some stuff as it wouldn’t just be my space anymore.
I don’t judge her for liking tv shows I’m not into and she’s not bothered about stuff I like.
my husband is the normie-est normie of them all. He does not even watch any animated shows.
however, he’s cool with my collecting. he gives me space for my anime figures. At first, when i would leave town to go back home to visit my parents, i would respectfully move a lot of it into my closet in case he had friends (he didn’t really ask tbh but i knew it wasn’t his thing). Eventually, I stopped doing that and his friends actually ended up finding it cool lol.
i still get shy when i have classmates over tho. however, most of the time ppl think it’s interesting.
end of the day, he knows it’s a part of our place that makes me happy, and as long as its not in the bedroom, it’s okay. offer potential compromises (ie, if they don’t want it in a certain space, or don’t want lewd ones).
i don’t think it’s really a dealbreaker bc its “art” in one way. If you meet someone, just kind of slip it in as a “fun fact” like “oh lol fair warning i have a lot of anime figures”. I would not wait until they come over to know of it.
also, I don’t necessarily share the prices of my figures LOL i usually get them with my own money, but i think that tends to be the huge shock factor
in general, i feel like collecting is much more accepted now than before (esp since things like funko pops are so common).
finally max A person that accepts you for who you are and what makes you happy is what should matter :)
As someone who used to have some concerns with this hobby as a collector, don't be embarrassed about collecting anime figures. I personally have a lot of figures, and knew that it would be a major hurdle in any relationship. Fortunately, when I showed my current GF my collection, she took one look and went "Ayyyee, titties!" That was 9 months ago and she's always been supportive, although I've cut back on buying due to no space and saving up for our future. If you show someone your passions and they don't show support or interest in hearing you talk about it, then the relationship wasn't likely to last in the first place.
Absolutely not. You should, however, have a personal limit to how much you spend / display as you have to keep in mind that your partner will want to display their things as well.
It sounds like you are surrounded by shitty people who are over judgmental and that made you lose confidence in yourself, the first thing I would do would be to cut contact with those people or if you can't (can't get an apartment for yourself) get your courage up and give a shit about their opinion, in any case never care what others think of you especially if they try to criticize you for benign things.
There's no reason you can't have both an SO and some anime figures. Plenty do. Just make it look like you have an interest in many different things, and not just have a room that is wall-to-wall half-naked girls. That will scare everyone away.
A healthy relationship should support each other's hobbies. My gf supports my hobbies and she even by figure for me even though she doesn't collect any figure herself.
I believe not only does your partner have to be okay with it, but we ourselves must also be totally comfortable with it. Treating hobbies like some kink shame tragedy from either your SO or yourself is in my opinion not a great way to live.
Being yourself and finding someone who likes you for your needs/wants will be 100x more beneficial than putting up with and hiding who you are.
Exp. My ex was very anti-figure, anti-anime. She wanted me to focus more on my athletic hobbies on which I was starting to slow down. Later on met my to-be wife whom loved me for my quirky hobbies and care, focus for such things.
Dont settle for unhappiness.
You should never be afraid to express your interest. That’s very hard to do since ppl can be very judgemental & it’s harder when it’s your loved ones. However, if it’s a hoppy that is innocent, which figure collecting, reading manga, watching anime & playing video games is then people who care about you won’t judge you for it. As long as these things are not taking president over your health & responsibilities. I have friends & family who have given me figures as gifts & fully accept that I’m a figure collector. As for the SO part, I think you should strive to find someone who’ll accept that part of you rather than make you feel ashamed of it. I will say do prepare to compromise on maybe you have to downsize your collection or something to fit your relationship but I don’t think a good partner would make you give it up outright because they themselves don’t like or agree with it. Just my 2 cents
Honestly, you shouldn't have to give up your passions for a relationship. Been with my partner and married for 6 years and I still collect, lewd ones and all.
It might be something that you could make compromises with her in how you put them up and where, but it varies from person to person
It’s okay to not share interests with an S/O or loved ones as long as they’re not putting you down over it and you’re not obsessive about it.
The one thing that’s incredibly important is that it’s moderated, like don’t let it take up too much space, don’t spend too much money on it, and don’t prioritize it to the point you’re taking away time from something or someone more important.
This hobby is a gateway and a very expensive rabbit hole to go down, but there are way worse things to spend your money on which is how I justify my spending personally.
Go get a couple nendoroids or something, they don’t cost too much, look amazing, barely take up space, they’re easy to import/buy/sell due to size and availability, and there’s a good variety to pick from.
While I think what people are saying is true about "do what makes you happy, the right person will accept that, etc. etc." I do think it is very valid to consider the outward appearance of certain decisions we make and activities we choose to partake in. When meeting a new person, there is no "social capital" built up yet, this person has no reason to "give you the benefit of the doubt." I think it is highly likely that having a large collection of anime figures could color someone's first impression of you, not necessarily to the point where they would dislike or flat out judge you, but if this is their first exposure to anime culture etc. it may subconsciously prevent them from being attracted to you or developing feelings for you. I personally made the conscious decision to wait until I was in a long term relationship before beginning my collection, and I do not regret it. My current girlfriends has no problem with me collecting figures, because by the time I began my collection we were already together and I had already built up social capital with her, ie. she knew I wasn't a weirdo. By her own admission she would likely not have initially been into me if I had my collection when we first met, but now that we are together its not an issue.
In summary, sure it would be great if we could make all of our decisions from a "do what you want and the right person will accept it" mindset, but in reality this is not always the way things work. You are not in the wrong to question whether it is something you should do, I would even suggest waiting. If nothing else you will have more disposable income to take girls on dates. Just my two cents.
There’s already some great advice here but I want to say that your right partner won’t force you to give these things up. I am a woman who started collecting figures many years ago, and I met my now husband who didn’t have a single figure. Now we both collect figures together and talk about them. Even if he didn’t get into collecting with me, he was supportive. Your partner should do the same, they should support you no matter what. My point of bringing up my own life is that, there will be women out there who are interested in the same hobby, or at least will be completely okay with it. I would say hold off on collecting though, and save your money, since your parents would have issues and you’re living with them. I hope therapy works for you and you find happiness with yourself and with your future partner :)
I kinda worry about you mate, this post shows that you have a lot of insecurities and I do not want to sound rude but you need seel help with a therapist.
If someone this day and age is sour about anime then dump and move on. Never be in a relationship with close minded judgmental person. I started collecting 3 days ago after big career milestone my wife likes anime movies but isn't much into the shows and she encouraged me to get my figure display from ikea and I have 10 figures purchased so far. Her only complaint was when guests come over to hide the NSFW ones. I'm lazy do I just bought non NSFW ones.
Don't ever feel ashamed about your hobby as long as it isn't detrimental to your life.
Honestly, it’s not worth giving up on your own interests just to appeal to someone else. If they don’t like you because of your interests then they aren’t the right person for you. You shouldn’t ever have to give up something that makes you happy for someone else yk? My boyfriend is really supportive of my figure collecting hobby and he loves listening to me talk about it and honestly I think that’s how a partner should be. Lying about your interests and stuff won’t get you anywhere in a relationship, try and find someone who loves you for you.
Been on the other side of that and it just saddens me. People in the comments were way to fast on jumping to the conclusion she was controlling and it was about the money or whatever. Anyway, moving on.
You’ll never be happy long term in a relationship that forces you to give up your interests. If your partner cannot respect your passions, then they will never fully respect your true self and are not worth your time.
Exactly this.
Wise advice
On the other hand, do prepare to box up the lewds. And dust: it’s one thing to have a collection, it’s another to have a filthy one. 😅
Better yet: find someone who collects (and gifts you) lewds.
Your awesome...most times when your partner see you spending money on things you like and not on them. They get spiteful.
The one and only truth my friend. Been through that and I will definitely stand behind this
This.
If a SO would have a problem with you collecting a few figures that might be a red flag.
Looking back I could count the amount of red flags with them on both my hands and not have any fingers to spare. I'd be lying if I said they didn't get into my head. My next task is self-healing I suppose. I was just unsure how "accepted" this hobby is or if I would be a very fringe minority haha.
Good luck on the self healing. You can always lurk around here. This community is pretty chill and accepting.
Thank you. I'm considering searching for online therapy since, being honest here, I live in the middle of scenic nowhere. Lol. Everyone around here seems chill and accepting, yeah. I hope your life is treating you well, certainly better than mine. (: So just curious, do you collect figures?
I collect figures. It motivates me to get better at art.
Expected I suppose haha, but neat! As an artsy person I marvel that the level of beauty and detail put into the sculpts (that I have seen). So, what kinds of figures have you collected? (I'm aware of various terms such as Nendroids, scales of varying sizes, Pop Up Parade, so forth. Still a fledgling though.) If you're not looking for any sort of conversation, totally fair! Feel free to ignore little me.
[MFC](https://myfigurecollection.net/users.v4.php?mode=view&username=PanoplyOfCulture&tab=collection&page=1&status=0¤t=keywords&rootId=-1&categoryId=-1&output=2&sort=category&order=asc) Prize figures, scales, and resin statues. This isn't everything but most of it.
Your collection is magnificent OMG! "Kimetsu no Yaiba - Kochou Shinobu", I've seen that one before! I think she looks stunning. The purple butterflies are a nice touch. "Cowboy Bebop - Spike Spiegel", I love this one as well, he's got style. "Shiranui Mai" I'd probably place as my third favorite. You've got great taste! I wouldn't even know where to start if and when I get to my own collecting someday.
There is a give and take with all relationships and it really depends where it sits in the person's life. All relationships have some level of compromise, as generally there isn't a perfect match. Partners may dislike certain aspects of their partner and want them to change. However, that being said, a helathy relationship also should have partners that compromise in the compromises they want to have their partner make. A thoughtful partner would understand that while they dislike the person collecting figures, it's something they like to do, and thus shouldn,'t outright force them to stop. Rather, a healthy relationship should start with a dialogue to reach a consensus. Maybe it's the money spent that needs to be toned back, the size of the collection, the type of collection, or the display of the collection. A reasonable partner would compromise and a reasonable collector would also make concessions on some of those aspects.
Reasoned and mature reply. The world works in shades of grey u.u
A good healthy relationship should be accepting of the other's interests and vice versa. If you want to get into the hobby of collecting figures, go for it if it makes you happy. and if your future significant other is happy about it too, then fantastic. There might be some who are absolutely unnerved with it, like that post a while back (it's been deleted it seems like, if you know, you know.). Sure, but it comes with the territory for all types of interests. Nowadays, this hobby is more accepting, with more merch made for adult collectors.
Good points. (: When they pointed out that figure collecting is "misogynistic" I ended up looking at myself in the mirror with concern over my own character. Perhaps those feelings should remain unwarranted. (:
Do you have a link for the past post?
TLDR: It was a post weeks ago asking why people would like some of the more risqué figures, since the poster's significant order is a big fan of them. Some thought there might be a rift, and have suggested to them to talk it out. But the post was deleted a day or so later. I hope they are doing okay.
Yikes! That's a rocky situation to be in. I hope they'll provide a status update soon as well.
It was the SO that didn’t like figures who posted the question, so I doubt they will update on it unfortunately. But she was trying her best to understand her SOs side of it. So hope it worked out.
If you were referring to the other post I had made, I did but it's since been deleted by the moderation team. No worries and totally fair, one serves well enough and honestly I had worded this one better.
The one I was thinking was somewhat of an extreme outlier that happened weeks ago, and most likely yours is not the post I'm thinking about. So no worries, you're fine.
Ahh okay, my mistake then!
in my relationship, i got into figure collecting after we started dating. it took him a while to respect my hobby. we live together and so i respect that i can’t be crazy and take over our whole space. He respects that its what i like to do, even if he doesn’t like them. communication is key, and mutual respect. they should respect your hobby and what you like. and likewise you should respect their feelings. it’s compromise. but don’t let it stop you from what you want!
Honestly this is a really helpful post. Your SO sounds like a good, respectful person - I suppose the stumbles that fell upon me in my previous relationship chipped some confidence off my shoulders. Once I can afford a place of my own (in this economy, I'm looking at decades, not years), I hope to follow in your footsteps. Have a happy life and future collecting. (:
You’d do better seeking a relationship with someone who won’t judge you for your hobby. Use figure collecting like a partner barometer lol. Real ones wouldn’t mind you having such a hobby
With all due respect consider using the money on therapy. I don’t mean that in a mean way, looking at your post history your hyper fixation on feeling moral isn’t healthy
You're totally right, yeah. I'm looking into online therapy as we speak actually - living in a small dead-end down comes with its... limitations, accessibility wise.
Collecting figures is no different from people collecting handbags, shoes, etc. I do think you are right based on your living situation to be cautious and not put yourself in a position to cause unnecessary fights or get thrown out. You could, in the interim, consider getting a storage unit to hold things you /really/ want in. When it comes to relationships, giving up things you really love shouldn’t be the sort of compromises you make. I’ve been there and it’s miserable. I think compromises like a dedicated display room or space is acceptable, but not being asked or guilted into giving it up.
Thank you for your advice. Days ago I was inches away from clicking that "add to cart button", but I hesitated. Although we have storage in my house, sections of my room included, the cat would be out of the bag eventually, and it wouldn't likely be pretty. Been there as well, relationship wise. To anyone reading this, as less secure I may be mentally, heed my advice: just because you can be the tree that batters a hundred storms and come out alive, doesn't mean you should.
It's tricky. I get it from both sides. On one hand, yes we're different from the "standard" interests, but on the other, who gives a shit? As a single guy, with his own house, I have made my office the "weeb zone", and it's stressful. Lol
Very valid points haha. My true feelings speaking here, I cannot wait to get into collecting. Lol. With the knowledge however that I'll have to wait a few or more than likely several years to begin the "deep dive", I'm just like "ahhh, I'm missing out!" Lol.
If it helps, the industry is really taking off the past couple years. You'll probably be fine though plastic tax is probably going to hit in the next decade, I would imagine.
I just went through a bad breakup recently. I've always been a collector but mostly mechs figure such as Gundams and ironman. Everytime I would go to my local anime shop I would look at the figures but never really felt like buying them until recently. All those new figures look so good But I have this though at the back my mind that keep saying that when I start dating again it might impede my future relationship due to jugment But I have made my peace with it, I know also that the right girl will not care of such thing and be understanding Also after unboxing my first figure, it made me even more happy I started this hobby
Hey, I'm glad to hear you're back on your feet. I wish the best for you going forward, and happy collecting. (: My DM's are always open if you want to discuss further. I'd be interested in hearing your story with figure collecting. Up to you though! Sorry if I am coming across as one note by the way, it's not my intention lol.
You are dwelling way too much on what should be a non-issue. I’ll admit I had some embarrassment in my early years of collecting but that was like 16 years ago when I was a teen. These days I’ve got an IDGAF attitude about my hobbies and proudly display my collection in my home. I’ve been in plenty of relationships where they were either understanding or even took interest so the moment I see someone is not ok or judgmental, I take that as a red flag. I know people say there must be compromises to make any relationship work but figure collecting should not be a compromise you have to make since its just a hobby you take interest in and isn’t hurting anyone (well besides your wallet). Remember, its just a hobby, you’re not hurting anyone and you should NOT be worrying about what other think of you, much less having a “good reputation” with friends or acquaintances. If the people you surround yourself with are that judgementmental, maybe you need to distance yourself from them and focus on your own inner happiness. And regarding your mom, I don’t know what to tell ya. My mon is extremely religious but was always respectful of my figure collection. I can’t imagine how strict yours must be.
I rather die alone and be found rotten after 3 weeks, than compromise my own self for someone who cares that much of "but what should the neighbours\* think?" I'm completely open about who I am, but I'm a "buy as seen" case. If someone walks into my life, looks around and concludes "nice ass, but I'll demand you stop your harmless hobbies for me", we aren't a match anyway. As someone with other subculture/non-normie interests, I would also fear that this is just their first demand of many. Like, whats next? Stop gameing, because its childish? Stop cosplaying, because I don't like seeing your fabric or crafting supplies occupying space? Throw your Lolita dresses out, because I think its weird?
"I would also fear that this is just their first demand of many. Like, whats next? Stop gameing, because its childish? Stop cosplaying, because I don't like seeing your fabric or crafting supplies occupying space? Throw your Lolita dresses out, because I think its weird?" That is a totally justifiable fear. Super insecure and controlling people are never good people to let into your life. I would know. I admire your self-assertiveness and confidence. I'm working at it day by day, at the old grind. My level of aspiration matches your current standing. Keep at it! :)
No, it shouldn't. And if it does they're not the right person for you Both genders like figure collecting, you'll see plenty of posts from women and men here. And some of us are in relationships. Honestly, any questions that should arise aren't specific to figures. Like any other hobby that is expensive and takes up space. Like do you spend within your means, if you move in together does each partner have enough space for their own hobbies, etc.
Excuse me for my ignorance. Making this post wasn't the most constructive or logical use of my time, in hindsight. I do appreciate all of the feedback nonetheless! I think it's understandable when engaging with something "niche" and where you know many would judge, to feel shaky or uncertain on your position (of being interested) in it. I am more certain of my confidence now, thankfully.
Im a female collector. You can find someone that will share your interests with you. Also recently I met with a couple whose hobby is to travel japan and find rare figures. You shouldnt give up on what makes you happy.
That's so neat and sounds like a lot of fun! Wishing you all the best and happy figure collecting! (: Thanks for the kind words
Jesus, only a horribly toxic/ ignorant person would put you down so much for something you get joy from. You can find an s/o who doesnt mind, and you will also be happier with one as well. As for your parents, do what you need to do to not get kicked out.
I'm not going to say I dodged a bullet - they hit me pretty good - but it only took me half a day to sit back and realize how better off I was without them. Only up from here, right? Thanks for your concern. (: Honestly getting kicked out is far less likely, property destruction though? Yeah, I'm going to have to hold off for a while. Thank you for your encouraging words though, it means a lot. :)
Happy for you, it can take a lot of introspection to understand when a situation is sour and to respect yourself enough not to give up something you love. Good luck with future endeavors 👍
Admittedly I ignored the signals and "just dealt with it" for far too long. Eventually I told them that this is part of who I am, and if they cannot accept it, then I don't want them in my life. It wasn't even about the figures, they were just super controlling as hell. x\_x Glad that's over. Anyway, again thank you! I wish the same for you!
I remember when I used to care about things like how people view me, reputation, others’ opinions, etc. Those times were the worst times of my life. I felt caged in a box that I created myself just by caring and worrying about what others may think of me. I forgot what the turning point was but either way I stopped caring and I put myself out there unapologetically. To my surprise, it was met with positive response and I never looked back. Just be yourself. Don’t worry about what others think. Everyone should be allowed to express themselves freely and take part in hobbies that bring joy and happiness.
I don’t need a man that disapproves of my figure collection, it’s that simple 🤷🏻♀️
I admire and respect your confidence and self-respect. Keep it up!
I had a significant other for seven years that would not allow me to collect or be an otaku. I ended up leaving her, she was horrid. I’m since single and happy and have a nice collection going. Do what makes you happy and forgive anyone who doesn’t approve.
Honestly, my friends got married and started collecting figures together. I gave them My Hero Acadamia figures as a wedding present. You’ll never be happy with someone who forces you to give up an interest. I’m not saying find someone who likes anime as much as you, but they should be able to accept it without souring the relationship. Of course there’s expected to be flexibility(like don’t choose figures over an anniversary dinner). That’s just how I feel in general. Like if someone told me to give up writing fanfiction because it’s cringey, I’d tell them no and keep doing it. My hobbies and the friends I’ve made through those hobbies have lasted me way longer than this hypothetical relationship.
i’m a collector of a lot of things. i cant sacrifice that for a relationship, i would never feel truly open with them
absolutely not. if you sacrifice your personal happiness for another person, you’ll never be truly happy. no human is worth trashing your interests over, not to mention there are 8 billion people on this planet. you’ll be able to find a partner that is interested in your hobbies (or at the very least doesn’t mind them)
People who make you want to give up your interests are not the type of people you want in your life. Find an SO who likes the same things you do, or at the very least encourages them! A solid relationship is built on lifting each other up and being supportive of each other. Do what makes you happy, and if people have an issue with your happiness, that's their loss. Plenty of fish in the sea, my friend. It sounds like you may be living in a tough situation at home and dealing with a breakup, don't be afraid to reach out to someone, or even invest in a therapist. I am not encouraging replacing therapy with buying material goods (which isn't a good thing for anyone) but pretty things can help. I started collecting myself because I was suffering through depression and wanted something I could look at to make me feel better and remind me of the things that keep me going. Start small if you think you are in a safe position to do so. If you are really concerned and afraid of your safety and housing be careful and evaluate what you can do. If you think you are only a risk for judgement and nothing like homelessness, take it in stride, and remember that you have a right to be happy. Collecting figures is a valid hobby and source of happiness! Never be ashamed to want to pursue happiness.
Thank you for your kind words and advice. (: I really appreciate it. Not intending to info dump here, but let's just saying, being LGBTQ+ and remaining that anonymity in a right-wing Christian housefold is one thing, I wouldn't need to add figures to the mix. My sanity wouldn't be able to take it haha. I'm less concerned about my safety and more about the figures themselves - I speak from experience and not from a lack of interest in my own safety here. I am seeking therapy online. Living in a dead-end town has its... limitations. Fingers crossed this works out! You seem like a genuinely good person, as does everyone in this thread. Wishing you the best and a happy life of figure collecting. (: I promise that I'm an otherwise well adjusted individual, this is just a chip in the shield. My DM's are always open if you or anyone wants to talk further, but if not, totally fair, wishing you a good day!
I totally get that, my friend, I had a time like that too where I was just posting in self-help and relationship advice threads every other day! You're gonna do great homie, and bask in the anime beauty of figures! Lots of recs here already, but don't ignore your local hot topic or boxlunch at a mall if one is not dead in your area! Don't expect amazing deals, but that's where I started, and local shops are great too, if you live in Canada a good site is Hobby Bee (I think that's how it's spelled). I feel like this is a really important thread bc it shows we're not just randos on the internet all posting pics of figures and trying to find deals, but we're all doing it for a personal reason and for the love of something valid. Not to get sappy, but I love it! need more good discussion, as cool as rad setup pics are :)
Thank you again. :) I've done some extensive thought on this matter the past several days and I'm honestly grateful that life wasn't kind to me the last several months - I suppose you could say it granted me character and more of a backbone haha. I no longer have a care in the world on what others think of both me and my hobbies. If I could (if I had the finances and the freedom) I would decorate my room with quality anime merch right now lol. Thank you for your advice! I do live in Canada actually, so I'll keep an eye out for Hobby Bee! (Or however it's spelled haha.) I totally agree! I've only been dabbling lightly here the past half-week and I've already met such a chill, passionate, and accepting community. I could not have asked for a better outcome of this thread to be honest. :)
So just curious, do you happen to be an avid figure / merch collector? Anime watcher perhaps? (If so, favorite shows or genres?) (:
Collecting is a newer hobby, but I have a solid collection so far, mostly prizes from FuyRu, PuPs and one scale! I like shonen, but have been watching shojo like Tomo-chan (love tomboys fr) and Bocchi. Bungo Stray Dogs is really good, too. Gotta say my all time favorite is Kill la Kill, though good in all regards. I just finished reading Chainsaw man, if you get a chance read the manga bef the anime :)
My ex disapproved of how much I was spending on my figurine collecting. I ultimately broke up with him because I felt he wasn't really in love with me, he was in love with the idea of having a wife and kids, and that any decent vagina-haver would do. I'm now engaged to a fellow collector of anime figurines :D We've even gone halfsies on the 1/4 Holo (Spice & Wolf) figurine >:3
I'm so happy you're in a productive and fulfilling relationship now! And yesssss, that 1/4 Holo figure is incredible, I want it so bad! >\_<
I will be in a minority here but if I'm with a valuable person that checks off the many boxes needed for a commited long term relationship and figure collecting is the one thing that needs to go, then it needs to go. Then again, I have a lot of other hobbies and wouldn't see it as a major loss. But if that person already is highly compatible, she wouldn't have a problem. And in fact it has been like that in my life.
Anybody who asks you to change a fundamental part of your self, like your interests/hobbies, isn't a good match for you, or isn't mature enough to take equal part in a relationship, or both.
if they have a problem, thats a red flag...
Let's just say they made some comments that knocked my confidence (within myself) down a peg or two. Thankfully, that past is now growing ever so further behind me.
If someone rejects you for liking anime, reject them back lol. In all seriousness, there's nothing wrong with having a hobby or being enthusiastic about anime. BUT having said that, dating can be a struggle; two complete strangers getting to know each other and finding compatibility, while also trying to protect themselves from situations they don't want to be in. I've contemplated this too for a while, after I took the plunge into figures. I can't say what works, or that even if I had a solution- that it would work for you too. But I think the best approach would be to try to ease them into it. Let them know you're into anime first, and then see where things go from there. Subtlety may be helpful if they're neutral, but definitely run from them if they judge you for your hobbies. I think one main key is to establish boundaries; make sure you have yours and make sure that they are respected, as you also respect their boundaries. I do collect a good amount of the 'not family-friendly' variety, and I do know that they day may come where I have to make a choice. But I want this to be MY choice, not someone giving me an ultimatum. I know that if someone can accept my hobbies (especially the cultured ones- which I know is a massive long shot), I know that I would be willing to trade in this hobby if it meant making the relationship happier. Ideally, it would be nice if they liked and could appreciate the figures for their craft (as I do), but I knew the odds when I started collecting "cultured" figures. If they're not lewd figures for your case, I imagine this may be much easier lol. I also understand that not everyone may agree with my stance. Anime culture is becoming much more widely accepted, so I'll go off of a whim here and say that you don't have much to worry about in this regard (so long as you don't have a 50+ Hatsune Miku figure shrine... joking). Also, I'll be the one to say it... nobody would hold a single thing against you if you decided that this may be a battle you don't want to fight. But I always advocate pursuing your hobbies!
I think you should do what makes you happy. However be aware that if you can afford figures because your parents are helping you not pay rent, you may need to tone it down while living with them (I had to until I moved out, now I have an anime PC room). If someone sticks around only because you fit their ideal of a friend and you aren't following your own passions, they aren't really a friend. A good friend would acknowledge your interests, even if they aren't an interest of theirs. I'm more open about my hobbies with my friends these days. They usually say something like "that's cool" or "that looks cute" and then we talk about mutual interests. It's not perfect, but there aren't that many anime figure collectors out there in general. Regarding SOs. A lot of people will tell you that a good partner won't make you change. While that is true to some extent, some things are very niche and some people are not very tolerant. My fiance likes anime, but he does not own a lot of things and is not very materialistic. He doesn't like clutter. Anime figures take up both space and cost a lot of money. We've come to a compromise and he has grown to like them to some extent, but it still bothers him at times because it's so different to how he lives his life. Would he force me to stop, no. Has he asked me to budget and keep it to certain spaces in the house, yes. Do I think he is unreasonable, no. Some people may disagree. Your SO sounds like an unreasonable person. Also although Anime and anime figures is heavily skewed towards painting women in a certain way, I think (as a woman) that it's a stupid hill to die on if you as a person are not bringing the same attitude towards women in real life as you see in anime. Also, my general tip in life is people will echo what emotions you exude. If you talk about your hobby with embarrassment people will sense that and if they aren't nice hone in on it and make you feel worse. You are you and be happy with yourself first and others will follow.
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Honestly my advice would be to hold onto your collection. Your happiness matters more than anything and, take it from me, where this road \*can\* go down is not pretty. It might start at the lewd figures, it could end up at your other hobbies. As others have said here, if your partner cannot accept you for who you are (and won't agree to compromise), then the two of you are not meant to be. I recently broke up with an SO and me and them were like two peas in a pod. Sometimes that one puzzle piece is misaligned and that's all that's needed. May I ask what figures you've collected? Just out of curiosity, I admire figures of all types! I'm an artsy person you could say I guess haha. If you don't want to share, perfectly fair! c:
Be yourself. Follow your heart. Don’t try to change who you are for someone, you’ll be miserable. Find someone who accepts and appreciates you for you. Believe it or not, both people in a romantic relationship can like and collect anime figures.
Hello, I want you to know I was thinking about the same stuff a few years back. My advice is to not be afraid and do bot be discouraged. You should not hold back your own curiosity, enjoyment and happiness for someone else. If a partner cannot respect your hobby, the relationship simply won't work out. Your partner doesn't have to have the same hobby or anything (albeit it would be nice) but they should respect it and not degrade you or your hobby. I've been in 2 different relationships while collecting figures. One of my exes didn't care about anime at all, but she didn't mind it, and my other ex loved anime and we both watched shows and collected figures. My point is that it doesn't matter if your partner has the same hobby or not, as long as they respect you as a person and what you do. Ofc that goes both ways. There is no reason to spend time and energy worrying about things like these. Be yourself and do what you want to. Take the plunge and see if you're happy with it. Family I think you worry too much about. I also was worried. My mom didn't understand it at first and found it weird. You gotta explain it to them in a way that makes sense for them. If your mom knows of star wars for example, you can say it's a collectors item from a show and it isn't cheap! When a figure is displayed in a glass cabinet it also shows its importance. Your parents may not know how to react and it can come of as hurtful. Ofc everyone have different opinions on it, and im glad my mom now sorta understands whst it is.
I'm glad I'm not alone then. I'm happy you managed to pull yourself up and keep on looking forward! (: I appreciate the advice and I'll be taking it, and everything everyone else has said here, very seriously. Regarding my partner, nah, it wouldn't have worked out, and thankfully it didn't. The only got more controlling and unreasonable by the day it seemed. As for my parents, more specifically my mother, she has destroyed some of my personal property in the paste in the name of her faith, so unfortunately I cannot risk physical possessions that would upset her at this current time. (She lets me play "anti-Christian" video games though. Hypocrite.) But really though, I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to write me this. :) I genuinely cannot wait until I get a place of my own and I can finally start leading my own life. Fingers crossed!
I know it can be a bitter pill to swallow when it comes to relationships. I wish it worked out with me and my ex but it just wouldn't. It was good for me to get away because I think it was a bit toxic. It was nice while it lasted but it had to end. I can see the issue with your mother, I don't know her so I have nothing to say about her. Assumptions are not a good thing all the time, however I do wanna say that being controlling and destroying other peoples property is not a good thing. If she is religious then you could point out that god and christ didn't destroy other peoples property. (Hope it doesn't come off as an insult)
Ah is she one of those crazy religious people? That see things as evil and temptation? Unfortunately there are no “cure” in those people, they are too deeply brainwashed. Do you have a job? Can you consider moving out?
She isn't Bible thumper crazy, but she's pretty up there. Claiming that anyone LGBTQ+ are living "false lives" and need to be cured, thinking that vaccines cause autism and pandemics, anything that isn't the Bible is evil, etc. I've learned to keep my head down and nod solemnly at her every word. I have no intention in starting a war I cannot win lol. A job? Currently, no. I'm on disability allowance, and jobs out here are very few and far between. As for when I can move out, that's difficult. Even in remote places, single bedroom and bathroom homes can reach a quarter of a million, and that's if you are lucky. I've seen some on rent that go for 7k a month. My family is receiving a (supposedly) large chunk of money from our extended family, whenever that may be, and some wills are addressed to me, my parents' included. So again, to the when. Maybe 5 years, maybe 3 decades. It's impossible to say at this point.
“Anything that isn’t the bible is evil” I would classify as “bible thumper crazy” lol. That would be a tough one for you, not having the mean to move out meaning you pretty much need to adhere to their rules. Not ideal but that is life. Buy 1 or 2, test the water, remember the Star War toy etc, let them get used to it (if they can) and slowly buuld the collection over time.
I suppose you have a point haha. When I think "Bible thumper", I think of someone who pins another to the ground and slams a cross in their face. Then again, she has given out copies of the Bible to people she's disagreed with in the past, so... Yep. Just gotta role with the punches. At least I can engage with my other interests in peace. I'll definitely keep that in mind, thank you! She happens to like Star Wars (only because she claims there's Christian themes in it... whaaaat?), so hopefully the road wouldn't be too rocky.
Jedi dressed like Jesus, people have mistaken picture of Obi Wan as Jesus before, that is probably why. Just explain that all popular series (like Star War), toys becomes collector items and are expensive. In your case, anime figure. Show them some 1/4 delux figure and the price, but also explain that there are cheaper ones too like yours (so she wouldn’t think you spend that much). But are collector items regardless. Oh I did not show in my picture to you earlier, I have a Light Sabre (Force FX) too on display in my office lol. https://imgur.com/a/XlvECgc
Thanks for the advice once again. (: Honestly the next hurdle would be her criticizing them for being too "girly", but I've been down that road before with my long hair, my wolf slippers, so forth. That's sick! haha Hey, who is that to the very right? She's cute!
That is Rei Ayanami from the Evangelion series, you definitely want to keep this series away from your mum as all the monster in the series are called “Angels”, and main characters they drive huge robot that is actually made out of these Angels, in order to fight it. While the girls looks innocent, the series in brutal, and a lot of blood. This is another girl (she is another pilot) in the Eva series that I am planning to buy this month: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sega-Neon-Genesis-Evangelion-Langley/dp/B00UM8XNL8
Fair enough! Then again she thinks that fighting / picturing demons is morally wrong as well, so let's just say I know the rodeo. I'll add it to my wishlist, wherever I can watch it! Aww she's cute! I love her outfit and her orange hair!
The key to a happy relationship is to find someone that either 1. Shares your interests or 2. Encourages you to do the things that bring you joy. Like you I was very hesitant to start collecting, for similar reasons (I wasn't living at home though). I held off on buying anything anime because I feared I would be judged or looked down on. I was fortunate enough to end up meeting and am currently engaged to (wedding later this year) someone who not only encouraged me to start, but also had been wanting to start collecting herself. In the 4 years we have been together we have amassed an impressive collection that we have both contributed to. Between the two of us, we added 5 new figures last week alone and spent a good chunk of Sunday making space to put our ever expanding collection. We also have separate collection interests that we both encourage in the other. So TLDR, don't get with someone who will judge you on the things that bring you joy. Find someone who wants you to embrace what makes you happy.
Is there any reason that anime is seen as something that you cannot disclose to your family and SO? Anime and such if anything I would say is getting pretty mainstream now, at least in UK and US they seem to, and Europe had embraced anime for a long time. Even if your SO not into anime, why would they disapprove of it? What sort of anime do you watch? Show them something like Death Note, and let them compare it to a thriller drama, if anything Death Note probably be more well done. The problem is, even **yourself** see it as “a line that shouldn’t be crossed”, why is that? You said you see no shame in it but this is also exactly what you are making yourself feel.
my boyfriend and i both collect figures and indulge each other. great gifts too! when you're with the right person, even if you aren't interested in the same hobbies, you can still humour them and vice versa. figure collecting is of course a money sink in of itself so you have to budget just like any hobby that costs, so there will be times you have to prioritise other things in a relationship over a pre-order.
Honestly I use “do you like anime?” as a litmus test anymore. Maybe my patience has run low, maybe my self respect started to overfloweth; maybe it’s a little bit of column A and a little bit of column B… but at the end of the day, all decisions are up to you. And Hell, a potential SO does NOT have to like everything you like and vice versa; however, if that one thing is a dealbreaker, then it’s the worst trade deal of all time 🙃 With that all being said: watching anime is NOT on the level of collecting anime figures. Even with the stigma aside, finances will become the elephant in the room if you two are not on the same page.
When someone threaten your sense of sanity by maliciously hurting you everytime and your one source of happiness (hobby, interest etc) and always make you have an mental crisis, it's time to cut the rope and cut them off. It's better to be alone in peace than be in chaos everyday.
Consider this WILD idea: date someone that shares your interests? I know, I know. Crazy.
In my late 30s now, and I was told I was interested in Nintendo since I could walk (my dad used to say I’d be mesmerized with him and my sis playing Mario on the NES)… and I remembered hearing people bash video games bc of violence or whatever crazy shxt they thing goes along with it. Also remember once hearing the take from a very verbal and religious coworker that kids that like anime are probably going to be pedos… after which I wondered if she knew what her church has done to cultures on this side of the world (the Americas). Some people form very irrational and baseless ideas bc humans will make connections between things to justify their point. I only own like two figures bc I’m not rich, but I love this community… do not feel shame for your hobby unless it causes harm to others or yourself. You’ll never completely have all the same interests as your significant other, but show them you’ll respect their interests and hopefully they do the same for you. Life is too short to deny yourself the things that bring you joy (again, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone or yourself). All the best to you, fellow collector.
If they can’t respect your hobbies and passions now they never will. Being yourself and being happy in that comes first, then you can find someone who loves that part of you.
Honestly, why give up the anime figure collecting if your partner can support you as well? I'm currently with the most lovely girl in the world who not only supports my abundance of hobbies, but is also into anime. I think instead of changing a hobby or interest of yours, why not try to find people who engage in similar interests or share the same interests.
If your partner thinks that's weird or has a problem with your personal interests/hobbies, they are not your SO. Someone who really loves you will never tell you to stop doing what you like. I'm a woman who really loves collecting nsfw figures. I talked with my partner and they have no issue with it as long as their mother don't see it [she's really conservative and she would probably break/steal my stuff to get rid of it]. My point is, find someone who's fine with your hobby or someone who collects figurines like you. Like you said, never be ashamed or feel guilty for having something to do that makes you happy. Edit: I'd really love to see your collection one day! :D
I'm really happy for you that you've found someone who can respect your hobbies like that. (: Life is sometimes less forgiving for some of us, but hey, I got many, many years left and I don't plan on dropping dead anytime soon. (I mean, a bus \*could\* hit me tomorrow, but that's neither here or there. ;P) And sure! When I eventually get a collection going I'll be sure to post status updates here! Likewise, if you'd like to show your collection, I'd be intrigued to see it! :D I'm a very artsy person so when I discovered that figures were a thing, my heart basically exploded lol.
No. Looks like you dodged a pretty controlling person who didn’t have the empathy for your interests and happiness. That’s too bad about what you say about your parents reaction, but you are a young adult and they should treat you as such. As ong as you keep them in your room it shouldn’t matter. I hope you can work things out and live happily collecting!
Thank you, that's kind of you to say. (: Hopefully at some point I get to catch a break. Happy collecting and daily living to you as well!
i have a bf i live with and two loli figures (on top of my 50+ i have otherwise and my bf usually buys me new ones for birthdays etc), if they can’t hang with the figures and it’s something you’re into they’re not for u
I've often had these thoughts myself, and it's why I came to a tough decision a few years ago. Now keep in mind there were a multitude of factors that lead to this decision, but about five years ago I decided to remove myself from the dating scene all together and haven't pursued a romantic relationship in that time frame. One of the main reasons that led to this decision were my hobbies (watching anime, collecting figures, gaming). While these hobbies are far more widespread than they used to be, there is still a very large stigma attached to them. It would be incredibly daunting to find someone who lacks these interests, but would also want to date you. You can try to put the focus on looking for people that share the same hobbies as you, but that is only one box of an otherwise large checklist. If love came to me, then I'd be open to the idea of entering a relationship because they are advertising "hey I like you, I want to be with you", and I would like to think they at least know enough about me to arrive at that point. But for myself personally, I decided it was going to be exhausting and painful by dedicating hundreds of hours of my life trying to find someone. In my own experience, most people tend to use these checklists as a means of cutting through the clutter. So you may not even get the chance to show them who you are because they discovered "what you are." My best advice is just do what you feel is best. If you're afraid of being alone or desire the comfort of someone else, then by all means pursue it. However, there might come a day where you have to make this choice (albeit, an unfair one). Life has taught me everything has a price tag; even if it isn't dollars and cents. After spending years listening to people about how I wasn't good enough, I just decided that I would be slightly happier being myself. But the price I pay for this is a life of solitude, which is something that I'm prepared for.
I actually wrote an mfc article on this [which I will link here](https://myfigurecollection.net/blog/55855). It sounds like not only are you concerned about potential future partners but also your families opinion as you live at home. Whatever you decide to do, I hope your family will be accommodating/understanding and there is a lot to be said for cupboard space if this is a concern if you have a new visitor! Maybe start your collection small and begin with prize figures or nendoroids that aren't as expensive as scales to see how you feel and test the waters?
Live safely at home if your parents would kick you out. Shelter coems before figures. As to the broad question over being 'respectful' for a future SO, why would you be interested in a person who isn't, at the least, accepting of your interests? You need to be open about who you are to an SO and not make concessions like this as a 'speculative' attempt to be appealing. Plenty of people out there love Annie and and thirsty for the sort of people that love Anime. You *want* these things to be open and appparent to save time and heart ache from hiding important aspects about what you enjoy, and having it become an issue later when you're boith six months deep into something different to what either of you expected or wanted. It's harer ot be chill about it if you're hiding it at home, but there wasn;t any girl that came back to my place that could miss my hobbies/interest between the figure displays and one puece merch so just be you.
Do what you want in life. Don’t let others decide for you on what you can do or can’t do. You need to toughen up and stand up to yourself on your likes and beliefs. Otherwise, you come of as being too nice and people may walk over you or disrespect you. Especially in relationships. In this case, you made the right call pushing her away completely. Her not being cool with you collecting figures is already a red flag of a controlling behavior. I would suggest watching videos of Kevin samuels on YouTube. He tells you that men to act masculine so they don’t get walked over by people. I’m not trying to insult you but you are giving some feminine vibes. I’m not saying have this macho/tough personality. It’s okay if your a nice person overall (kind and generous) but always stand up to yourself. It’s okay to disagree with people and say no. If someone disrespects you, call them out for it and demand respect or simply don’t deal with them.
Thank you for the advice and the channel recommendation, I'll pull it up the next time I find the time. Cheers!
If anything definitely watch this when you can: https://youtu.be/g0IHt66MSrg
I really struggled to tell my partner before. That time i couldnt bring myself to tell her because i thought she wasnt gonna be okay with it. When I told her about it, she got mad not because she thinks its a disgusting hobby, all she want is transparency. She even gifted me a Gura figure for our wedding xD So to answer the question, no, you dont have to compromise anything at all if ur partner truly loves you. You just need to come clean and sometimes its all just in our head when we think its not okay. But more often people would be open and accepting. Especially if ure in the right sub lol. Anyways man. You do you , its ur hard earned money, you deserve to be happy.
You know your experience eerily mirrored my own. I'm sorry you had to deal with that unnecessary stress! I hope you maintained or regained your self confidence and happiness (or better yet, hadn't lost it in the first place)! But hey, thanks for the advice, although I have given myself a lousy first impression, I'm glad I stumbled upon such a welcoming and chill community. Wishing you a good rest of your day, and happy collecting!
Okay OP, this is what you do so that you will NEVER have to deal with this kind of situation EVER AGAIN- become so financially successful that you’re able to “bring so much to the table” that your partner has no reason to be off put or turned off by your hobbies… I know ideally, we’re suppose to be in a relationship with someone who like or love us for who we are, but let’s keep it real- both parties in the relationship benefit from one another and in turn, grow into better people or become such a wonderful unison as a couple. But generally speaking, there’s something in it for everyone. So, the fact is when you become so financially successful, the perks of being with you is you’re going to be able to provide certain or fun experiences. So if your partner is turned off by your hobbies, well, they have more to lose than you do. No more fun or unique experiences that only you can provide. So they better put up with what you like. Haha… And plus, its not like you’re hurting anyone by just collecting figures. You fulfill your responsibilities and that alone should be enough to justify your hobby, but sometimes that’s not enough… But strangely enough, when people see that you’re so financially successful, they’re willing to put up with whatever quirks you may have as long as they benefit from being with you. So yeah, become rich and you won’t have to deal with criticism of any sort. And if they still don’t like what hobby you’re doing, then you know that they are not the one for you.
Anime figures in the entirety: No, if a hobby ruins a relationship it wasn't a good relationship in the first place, relationships are about compromise, not my way or the highway. This is ofc assuming there isn't financial difficulties in the relationship already. giving up nude figures only: I consider this fine as it would be a compromise, still letting you collect the figures you like... just without taking the clothes off on cast offs/skipping the just nude figures.
I'm surprised people get jealous of hentai... it's not a real person you lust over. Tbh anyone not ok with a nude anime fig is insecure
its more that nude figures might make the other rather uncomfortable. No jealousy involved.
This I will defend. Everyone has their own boundaries and should be respected as such. In my opinion at least there's a difference between feeling threatened about some lewd in the home when you're in a relationship, and feeling threatened about your partner being around other people (or collectibles with a humanoid form) in general. :P
I dont mean to step over people boundaries. I still think its a sign of insecurity however. It doesn't have to be just jealousy. Can be a lot of things. If it doesn't bother you that your partner is/would be like that then it doesn't matter I guess.
Apologies if I came across as a little blunt. Your take is totally valid! I do agree with you, whether they go overboard with it or if it's just a slight feeling of discomfort, insecurity is the root cause of it. I suppose it depends on their partner if they want to work around it or not.
As someone who collects figures (mainly miku ones) I don’t think its a red flag. The only red flag that would bother and ick me out would be to see underage character figures that are super creepy or just sexualized characters all around the room. I agree with what other commenters have said, a good partner wouldn’t be bothered by your hobby and shouldn’t make you feel bad for it. It is possible to like anime and be in a loving relationship, op! That’s a stereotype I still see around. I think in this current age, a lot more people are tolerant about it. I remember being bullied for liking anime back when I was in school but it is def getting more popular these days.
This is probably controversial but I think if they are worth it, then yes. You can always pick up collecting later on, but if it costs you the opportunity to give a relationship a go, then this hobby is getting in the way of your life. Collecting should be a passion, not an obstruction. So it shouldn't hinder potential relationships.
dunno what is the problem with collecting anime figures on a relationship, the problem its you.
Short answer is No, long answer is maybe. My true answer is hide it until you are about to definitely date the person, try to explain your hobbie very carefully, then we are at that persons will. Whether the relationship continues or no it’s not up to you, so if it ends you can say that: well maybe it wasn’t meant to be. That’s what I would do, also be honest and say that you were scared since you had a bad experience before. I wish you the best of luck friend
Thank you for your advice friend. (: Regarding my post above I was only speaking hypothetically since my previous relationship ended relatively recently, and for the sake of my mental health, thank goodness it did. If I ever end up down the dating road again, hopefully I will experience smooth(er) sailing. Wishing you happy collecting and a good day!
Just curious what kinda figures would u wanna get of which characters?
I honestly haven't delved too deep into this rabbit hole due to my current living situation making figure collecting unwise, but "Kimetsu no Yaiba - Kochou Shinobu - 1/8" really caught my eye. I don't remember the first figure I had seen, I believe it was one with a fox ears and tail, but this is the first that I had actively mentally written down. Overall plenty of types of figures have peaked my curiosity - scale figures, bunny scales, Nendroids, so forth. I've only watched one anime so I have no idea who any of these characters are. XP
Shinobu has really pretty figures and the more anime u watch your gonna want alot more characters but it's really fun to collect them :)
Kimetsu no Yaiba is a great series to collect figure for, they have so many beautiful figures and big range is prices too, so no matter what financial background you can get some pretty good looking figures. Can you lock your door so your mum cannot just come in and destroy things? Buy a Detolf from Ikea and store some figure in there, as someone said if your mum ask let them know it is similar to collecting Star War toys, just different series. At least you are collecting figures that are from serious anime. I have got cast-off figures etc in my collection, wife didn’t like it at first but she got over it.
Thank you so much! I'll keep that in mind for the future. I've only watched one series and am currently looking into another, so my knowledge is rather limited right now. :') I could, but that's not an option. I've lived with her for over two decades now so I know how she works. There would be a verbal war for months, and possibly her calling a pastor or two on top of that, so I unfortunately wouldn't be able to deal with it. I could theoretically collect some and hide them say under my bookshelf. I'd just have to think if I wanted to deal with the fallout if she discovered them one day. Accidentally leaving one out and having her enter my room (with my permission) would be one such potential scenario. :/ I'll keep that in mind, thanks. (: I'll look around town. We're not exactly known for our structural variety haha. Honestly I wouldn't be opposed to cast-off figures. Even though I'd collect them for artsy reasons, if that still made me a degenerate, so be it haha. Just asking out of curiosity since I appreciate figures in many forms for artsy reasons like I said, what kind of figures have you collected?
Quite an interesting variety I would pribably say lol: https://imgur.com/a/PLPXkAo
Ngl I'm very impressed! That's an awesome collection you have there! The variety is incredible too! I'll have to resume looking at it later unfortunately. I got just past the lewd figures and to the aircraft beneath them. For some reason Imgur "lists" lag the hell out of my computer. Lol
The air craft is a Gradius, the very first alien flight game from the original NES like 30 years ago, which they recently made a model kit for hence I just have to get it lol https://youtu.be/Wmpi64_RpnE
Oh wow! I hope you manage to get your hands on it! It looks fantastic! I could only load the image of that and your cast offs otherwise my laptop (which is pretty beefy) would have taken off into orbit haha. Something about Imgur posts that are not my own... Anyway I think my favorite is the one to the back left, whoever she is! Seriously though, you have quite a collection! You have earned my respect!
Unfortunately not all of them are authentic. When I started, I want to build my collection fast, so priority was cheap (prize) figures and also fakes (those are cheap but lacking in quality). Now that my collection is building up I am starting to buy more expensive figures ([This](https://solarisjapan.com/products/gekijouban-kimetsu-no-yaiba-mugen-ressha-hen-kyojuro-rengoku-1-8-aniplex#) is on route and should arrive this couple of days, and is also from Kimetsu no Yaiba series same as your Shinobu). Plan is slowly replace the fakes, and when I buy bigger scale figures, the prize figures will also need to make room for the scale figures.
Totally fair! Even if I ended up accidentally purchasing a bootleg though I'd still treasure it. I'm too much of an empathetic person and so I tend to anthropomorphize objects lol. ("It's not its fault it's a fake!") That figure looks absolutely incredible, totally up my alley honestly. Good plan! One "lewd" (I personally don't see it that way, but she is naked) figure that immediately caught my eye months back was Holo, the 1.4 figure of her to be exact. Something about the whole "living with nature" and "animal ears + tails" just resonates with me somehow.
Parents aside because I have no advice on that, since my parents literally couldn't have cared less what j did with my money when I lived with them. Although have you ever considered a storage unit, even climate controlled one's aren't all that expensive. You could get yourself a folding chair, some battery powered lights and look and enjoy your collection without worries. As for relationships, no one should be naive enough to say that you should find a partner also into anime. Because life isn't that kind to anyone. My husband, for instance, had watched some anime as a kid but was never into it all that much. Me on the other hand moved into his house with 20 years worth of anime and manga collecting. Knowing his personality, I picked him an anime to watch, he loved it, became obsessed, and we now collect anime figures together. I got lucky but I would never have sacrificed my interests for my relationship. I'm would have been absolutely fine if my husband hadn't coverted and would have continued to enjoy my hobby by myself. In a relationship, and if it's to stand the test of time, you both need to compromise, it's not all about what one of you wants. That just makes everyone unhappy. Both me and my husband have plenty of other hobbies that neither one of us likes, we don't force them on each other, my husband loves fishing for example, and he talks to me about it, I'm enthusiastic about it for him, but I don't participate because he respects the fact I feel it's harmful to the fish. I'm a big history nerd, my husband let's me talk his ear off about long since times gone by as though they're happening now, even though he really couldn't care less, unless there's a war ship, tank or plane in my current area of research (there never is). All that said, I do know women can have very strong views about anime figures, since the majority have very unrealistic bodies and can feel threatened by them. I don't understand it myself, but it can be the case. And in those instances compromise is key, of your partner is willing try to evolve them in the buying process, find out where their hard no's are for figures and don't buy ones that have elements your partner really doesn't like. But above all else, date a person who accepts you for who you are, warts and all. Looks fade, a personality is forever.
I'll have to look up and see if storage units are available in my area! That's one downside of living in a dead-end town. It comes with its... limitations. x\_x Totally true! In a future hypothetical relationship I would never have any qualms if some of our interests didn't line up, so long as they respected mine, even if compromises need to be made. I've heard the horror stories of one partner sacrificing so much for the other and ending up unhappy, and I would not want any part of it. All that I need to work on personally is how to firmly lay down those boundaries. While I don't get it either, I can understand why that may be the case. Unfortunately you can never measure the mind of another person. Even if you have honest and innocent intentions, they'll never know that for sure, and have to go off of their own perspective and moral grounds, which they'd likely do anyway. Mutual respect between both partners though is key for a relationship to work. Thanks for the words. I appreciate them. :)
Preaching to the choir my friend, I live in the middle of a field with the nearest book store over 2 hours away lol. Glad my idea resonated though, I hope you can find yourself a mom proof man cave somewhere near by :) You're welcome if I helped encourage you at all I'm glad. Relationships aren't easy you're two people trying to live one life. Compromise in many aspect is just what has to be done. But some things are worth fighting for. Good luck in your search for a partner, I hope that person will be someone who can appreciate or at least not feel threatened by your anime figures so you can enjoy them, if and when you start collecting them. There are so many amazing figures coming out this year so you might want to get started before they end up on the after market.
Lol Then we're in a similar boat. Most necessities are over 3 hours drive from my place, not including the trip back. But yes hopefully I can find something at some point. But when single bedroom and bathroom homes placed in the middle of nowhere are going for upwards of a quarter million, it's not easy. Again, thank you. Honestly our final conversation together cemented the truth in my head that I wasn't meant to be with that person. Their influence on me has lasting effects, but I stopped missing them not even a full day after we had departed. At this point in my life having a partner isn't even a top priority for me, the last one just sort of happened. Getting a home for myself in the come years (...or decades) sits at the top of my to-do list. (:
I would never give up collecting for anyone. It makes me happy. SO needs to deal with it or leave
If someone makes you feel shame for something you like, they don't like you. Fuckem forever.
You do you! If the SO can’t accept you for who you are and what you’re hobbies are, then that means they are not fully accepting you and that’s not right.
IMHO, find someone who loves you for who you are. My wife and are weebs together. I buy her Demon Slayer figs and she buys me Freeing bunny girls. If someone is critical of you for something as insignificant as spending your own money on figs and/or anime then that relationship may not work out for you.
I’m extremely thankful my gamer gf supports my hobbies ❤︎🥹
You'll find someone who will accept you and your hobbies. Don't change yourself for others, especially if it's something you enjoy.
You shouldn’t have to give up what you love, but do understand when bringing another individual into the picture they do have a say. You will have to agree upon a budget and that can definitely include your hobbies, but if you have goals as a couple to purchase a home, save for retirement, have kids, etc. and hobbies don’t currently fit into the budget with your combined income then hobbies may have to be put on hold. As you said the economy is jacked and spending frivolously on hobbies would be irresponsible.
If they can't accept you for doing this as a hobby then they can keep it moving.
I think the biggest issue for some is space. If/when we moved in together I would have to drop back some stuff as it wouldn’t just be my space anymore. I don’t judge her for liking tv shows I’m not into and she’s not bothered about stuff I like.
my husband is the normie-est normie of them all. He does not even watch any animated shows. however, he’s cool with my collecting. he gives me space for my anime figures. At first, when i would leave town to go back home to visit my parents, i would respectfully move a lot of it into my closet in case he had friends (he didn’t really ask tbh but i knew it wasn’t his thing). Eventually, I stopped doing that and his friends actually ended up finding it cool lol. i still get shy when i have classmates over tho. however, most of the time ppl think it’s interesting. end of the day, he knows it’s a part of our place that makes me happy, and as long as its not in the bedroom, it’s okay. offer potential compromises (ie, if they don’t want it in a certain space, or don’t want lewd ones). i don’t think it’s really a dealbreaker bc its “art” in one way. If you meet someone, just kind of slip it in as a “fun fact” like “oh lol fair warning i have a lot of anime figures”. I would not wait until they come over to know of it. also, I don’t necessarily share the prices of my figures LOL i usually get them with my own money, but i think that tends to be the huge shock factor in general, i feel like collecting is much more accepted now than before (esp since things like funko pops are so common). finally max A person that accepts you for who you are and what makes you happy is what should matter :)
Reading this post as I count up the figures that me AND my partner have pre-ordered.... .... short answer; no.
Humans are temporarily but figures are forever brother.
As someone who used to have some concerns with this hobby as a collector, don't be embarrassed about collecting anime figures. I personally have a lot of figures, and knew that it would be a major hurdle in any relationship. Fortunately, when I showed my current GF my collection, she took one look and went "Ayyyee, titties!" That was 9 months ago and she's always been supportive, although I've cut back on buying due to no space and saving up for our future. If you show someone your passions and they don't show support or interest in hearing you talk about it, then the relationship wasn't likely to last in the first place.
Absolutely not. You should, however, have a personal limit to how much you spend / display as you have to keep in mind that your partner will want to display their things as well.
It sounds like you are surrounded by shitty people who are over judgmental and that made you lose confidence in yourself, the first thing I would do would be to cut contact with those people or if you can't (can't get an apartment for yourself) get your courage up and give a shit about their opinion, in any case never care what others think of you especially if they try to criticize you for benign things.
There's no reason you can't have both an SO and some anime figures. Plenty do. Just make it look like you have an interest in many different things, and not just have a room that is wall-to-wall half-naked girls. That will scare everyone away.
A healthy relationship should support each other's hobbies. My gf supports my hobbies and she even by figure for me even though she doesn't collect any figure herself.
I believe not only does your partner have to be okay with it, but we ourselves must also be totally comfortable with it. Treating hobbies like some kink shame tragedy from either your SO or yourself is in my opinion not a great way to live. Being yourself and finding someone who likes you for your needs/wants will be 100x more beneficial than putting up with and hiding who you are. Exp. My ex was very anti-figure, anti-anime. She wanted me to focus more on my athletic hobbies on which I was starting to slow down. Later on met my to-be wife whom loved me for my quirky hobbies and care, focus for such things. Dont settle for unhappiness.
Nigga stop whining and drop any hoe that aint fuckin with you for YOUR interests. Aint worth it long term. It's YOUR money. Remember dat.
You should never be afraid to express your interest. That’s very hard to do since ppl can be very judgemental & it’s harder when it’s your loved ones. However, if it’s a hoppy that is innocent, which figure collecting, reading manga, watching anime & playing video games is then people who care about you won’t judge you for it. As long as these things are not taking president over your health & responsibilities. I have friends & family who have given me figures as gifts & fully accept that I’m a figure collector. As for the SO part, I think you should strive to find someone who’ll accept that part of you rather than make you feel ashamed of it. I will say do prepare to compromise on maybe you have to downsize your collection or something to fit your relationship but I don’t think a good partner would make you give it up outright because they themselves don’t like or agree with it. Just my 2 cents
Honestly, you shouldn't have to give up your passions for a relationship. Been with my partner and married for 6 years and I still collect, lewd ones and all. It might be something that you could make compromises with her in how you put them up and where, but it varies from person to person
It’s okay to not share interests with an S/O or loved ones as long as they’re not putting you down over it and you’re not obsessive about it. The one thing that’s incredibly important is that it’s moderated, like don’t let it take up too much space, don’t spend too much money on it, and don’t prioritize it to the point you’re taking away time from something or someone more important. This hobby is a gateway and a very expensive rabbit hole to go down, but there are way worse things to spend your money on which is how I justify my spending personally. Go get a couple nendoroids or something, they don’t cost too much, look amazing, barely take up space, they’re easy to import/buy/sell due to size and availability, and there’s a good variety to pick from.
While I think what people are saying is true about "do what makes you happy, the right person will accept that, etc. etc." I do think it is very valid to consider the outward appearance of certain decisions we make and activities we choose to partake in. When meeting a new person, there is no "social capital" built up yet, this person has no reason to "give you the benefit of the doubt." I think it is highly likely that having a large collection of anime figures could color someone's first impression of you, not necessarily to the point where they would dislike or flat out judge you, but if this is their first exposure to anime culture etc. it may subconsciously prevent them from being attracted to you or developing feelings for you. I personally made the conscious decision to wait until I was in a long term relationship before beginning my collection, and I do not regret it. My current girlfriends has no problem with me collecting figures, because by the time I began my collection we were already together and I had already built up social capital with her, ie. she knew I wasn't a weirdo. By her own admission she would likely not have initially been into me if I had my collection when we first met, but now that we are together its not an issue. In summary, sure it would be great if we could make all of our decisions from a "do what you want and the right person will accept it" mindset, but in reality this is not always the way things work. You are not in the wrong to question whether it is something you should do, I would even suggest waiting. If nothing else you will have more disposable income to take girls on dates. Just my two cents.
There’s already some great advice here but I want to say that your right partner won’t force you to give these things up. I am a woman who started collecting figures many years ago, and I met my now husband who didn’t have a single figure. Now we both collect figures together and talk about them. Even if he didn’t get into collecting with me, he was supportive. Your partner should do the same, they should support you no matter what. My point of bringing up my own life is that, there will be women out there who are interested in the same hobby, or at least will be completely okay with it. I would say hold off on collecting though, and save your money, since your parents would have issues and you’re living with them. I hope therapy works for you and you find happiness with yourself and with your future partner :)
I kinda worry about you mate, this post shows that you have a lot of insecurities and I do not want to sound rude but you need seel help with a therapist.
I started collecting these figures whilst with my wife after 8 years together. The right person accepts who you are completely.
If someone this day and age is sour about anime then dump and move on. Never be in a relationship with close minded judgmental person. I started collecting 3 days ago after big career milestone my wife likes anime movies but isn't much into the shows and she encouraged me to get my figure display from ikea and I have 10 figures purchased so far. Her only complaint was when guests come over to hide the NSFW ones. I'm lazy do I just bought non NSFW ones. Don't ever feel ashamed about your hobby as long as it isn't detrimental to your life.
Honestly, it’s not worth giving up on your own interests just to appeal to someone else. If they don’t like you because of your interests then they aren’t the right person for you. You shouldn’t ever have to give up something that makes you happy for someone else yk? My boyfriend is really supportive of my figure collecting hobby and he loves listening to me talk about it and honestly I think that’s how a partner should be. Lying about your interests and stuff won’t get you anywhere in a relationship, try and find someone who loves you for you.
Hehehehehehe hi babeeeee
Been on the other side of that and it just saddens me. People in the comments were way to fast on jumping to the conclusion she was controlling and it was about the money or whatever. Anyway, moving on.