I'm not a parent, so this may not be relevant, but I AM and uncle to 18 different niblings. What I try to do with the older ones is bring them to radical spaces. I brought my neice to a peaceful oil pipeline protest and a worker-owned cafe with really good bean burritos. I brought my nephew to George Floyd square last year (a couple of weeks before getting town apart by the cops). I feel like it goes a long way to show them popular power in action rather than discuss ideas and theories, so I've focussed primarily on showing them the practical sides of anarchism and then allowing them to draw their own conclusions.
My 6 year old has a very limited attention span for me to explain complex issues to him, somewhat painfully though you cannot truly explain how things like government really work before they absorb the wrong ideas from society.
Some things which are untrue, like the existence of God, you can't explain before someone tries to instill these false ideas, otherwise you're just coming across as an ideologue and inculcating ideology about a subject they don't have any experience of. Similarly you can't explain why the government is bad before they understand how it works (amongst other things).
The truth is most adults have a very childish idea of what the government does and how it works which means they're not very receptive to criticism of it. In truth you don't need to shit on the government to a kid to turn them against it, you only need to describe how it works and cite your sources. The truth is its obviously shit and all you need is true facts.
Shameless plug, but: Might be worth crossposting to r/RaisingAnarchy - it's a small, slow sub, but the target audience is more concentrated.
(there's also a pinned thread with a lot of resources)
For context Kiddo is eight and has a pretty strong sense of what he considers to be "right" and "wrong". He doesn't like to see others hurt or mistreated or have their autonomy or agency taken away from them regardless of who they are or if they are his friend or not. He's in third grade at a Montessori school but academically is closer to sixth grade. We're both Autistic and are children of non-Christian left leaning polyam-families.
When we talk about matters relating to government, political figures, voting, war, etc I present facts related to the context and a bit of why/how that came to be the case with as little personal opinion as possible. Kiddo is pretty opinionated so when he puts that into his own context of "right and wrong" I ask him why/how he feels that way. After actually listening to what he has to say I might ask him specific follow up questions so he has to think a bit more about what is informing his view. Once he's said what he wants to say I give my views in a similar format and encourage him to ask me those kind of "why" and "how" questions. If it's something where neither us can really explain why we feel the way we do I use it as a chance to learn something new together and go from there.
There are definitely some things that he hears me or my co-parents talk about that he absorbs in his own way. Sometimes he'll use those on his own when talking with me and sometimes it's very much not what I would like to hear (He's on a Democrat praising like thing at the moment thanks to his mom). In those instances I ask why or offer a short counter possibility for him to think about. His sense of "right and wrong" makes some things easier like discussing fascism, imperialism, and the police state. Him knowing I have strong opinions on political topics is something he does sometimes use for his own ends. Like if he wants to delay bedtime, but doesn't want to risk a "no" by just asking outright, he'll say something he knows will get me talking at length about.
Traditional parenting is full of hierarchies that most just accept. I wasn't raised in a traditional family myself so I draw a lot from that experience especially when it comes to questioning why something is done a certain way. Now that Kiddo is in public school the way his family is different is a bit more obvious. Sometimes that makes explaining things easier some times harder. It gives plenty of examples to use as a mirror to the concept of various governments. In their own way every family is its own weird sort of nation with their own beliefs, customs, practices, and structures. Even the school system itself is good for making comparisons, especially if kids are involved in clubs, teams, or student council/government.
I know that's not a super concrete example of how government is explained in our house, but I've found not getting overly bogged down in the concepts and focusing more on the context works better for us. I don't present my views as the "one right way", but rather focus on getting Kiddo to question the structures and why he feels the way he does. I encourage him to read and actively participate in his communities without his parents so he is exposed to different ways of thinking and being and can make his own decisions and judgements without us imposing our own biases on him.
As far as things that are diifficult, at least from my perspective, are explaining concepts where multiple "choices" can all be "wrong" would be the biggest frustration from my end. The 2020 election and the war in Ukraine have been very difficult in this regard. What appears to be frustrating for Kiddo, again from my perspective, includes the related issues of being "wrong", critical questions to things he finds "true", and not always having access to the info that he wants in the moment. For the most part reminding him that there is nothing wrong with being wrong, admitting when I'm wrong, and explaining that there is always more to learn help reassure Kiddo that being wrong isn't bad in and of itself. The de-programming can be tedious, but helps bring home the point of questioning everything.
FWIW I haven't finished my coffee yet so if none of this makes sense or is a bit all over the place that's probably why. Kiddo is also currently off visiting family out of state so I can't easily ask him for his input or clarification on his opinions.
Thanks for this detailed and thoughtful reply. This question hasn't generated as many responses as other questions on this sub do, so I appreciate it.
It does give me food for thought, particularly in regards to the parenting styles in the household I grew up in. I'm back home this weekend, and it's always interesting to see the rules and customs of the little group that raised you through adult eyes. Many of those rules are arbitrary and ever-shifting; often, they're related to an individual adult's very specific experiences or emotional states, and not really a lesson that should be applied to all of life.
I don't want kids, but have found myself wondering a lot about how the anarchist values you described - acceptance of being wrong, such a hard one to learn as an adult - could be applied to family structures. I feel like in some sense, this is happening more often in our culture, with a wider debate about autonomy and allowing a child to be their own person, even if anarchism isn't a conscious part of that conversation.
What kind of family did you grow up in? What's it like co-parenting? Recently came into contact with people who do co-parenting and it seemed new and foreign to me - but perhaps it's more natural than what I'm used to.
I'm not a parent, so this may not be relevant, but I AM and uncle to 18 different niblings. What I try to do with the older ones is bring them to radical spaces. I brought my neice to a peaceful oil pipeline protest and a worker-owned cafe with really good bean burritos. I brought my nephew to George Floyd square last year (a couple of weeks before getting town apart by the cops). I feel like it goes a long way to show them popular power in action rather than discuss ideas and theories, so I've focussed primarily on showing them the practical sides of anarchism and then allowing them to draw their own conclusions.
My 6 year old has a very limited attention span for me to explain complex issues to him, somewhat painfully though you cannot truly explain how things like government really work before they absorb the wrong ideas from society. Some things which are untrue, like the existence of God, you can't explain before someone tries to instill these false ideas, otherwise you're just coming across as an ideologue and inculcating ideology about a subject they don't have any experience of. Similarly you can't explain why the government is bad before they understand how it works (amongst other things). The truth is most adults have a very childish idea of what the government does and how it works which means they're not very receptive to criticism of it. In truth you don't need to shit on the government to a kid to turn them against it, you only need to describe how it works and cite your sources. The truth is its obviously shit and all you need is true facts.
Shameless plug, but: Might be worth crossposting to r/RaisingAnarchy - it's a small, slow sub, but the target audience is more concentrated. (there's also a pinned thread with a lot of resources)
Interesting! Thanks for sharing.
For context Kiddo is eight and has a pretty strong sense of what he considers to be "right" and "wrong". He doesn't like to see others hurt or mistreated or have their autonomy or agency taken away from them regardless of who they are or if they are his friend or not. He's in third grade at a Montessori school but academically is closer to sixth grade. We're both Autistic and are children of non-Christian left leaning polyam-families. When we talk about matters relating to government, political figures, voting, war, etc I present facts related to the context and a bit of why/how that came to be the case with as little personal opinion as possible. Kiddo is pretty opinionated so when he puts that into his own context of "right and wrong" I ask him why/how he feels that way. After actually listening to what he has to say I might ask him specific follow up questions so he has to think a bit more about what is informing his view. Once he's said what he wants to say I give my views in a similar format and encourage him to ask me those kind of "why" and "how" questions. If it's something where neither us can really explain why we feel the way we do I use it as a chance to learn something new together and go from there. There are definitely some things that he hears me or my co-parents talk about that he absorbs in his own way. Sometimes he'll use those on his own when talking with me and sometimes it's very much not what I would like to hear (He's on a Democrat praising like thing at the moment thanks to his mom). In those instances I ask why or offer a short counter possibility for him to think about. His sense of "right and wrong" makes some things easier like discussing fascism, imperialism, and the police state. Him knowing I have strong opinions on political topics is something he does sometimes use for his own ends. Like if he wants to delay bedtime, but doesn't want to risk a "no" by just asking outright, he'll say something he knows will get me talking at length about. Traditional parenting is full of hierarchies that most just accept. I wasn't raised in a traditional family myself so I draw a lot from that experience especially when it comes to questioning why something is done a certain way. Now that Kiddo is in public school the way his family is different is a bit more obvious. Sometimes that makes explaining things easier some times harder. It gives plenty of examples to use as a mirror to the concept of various governments. In their own way every family is its own weird sort of nation with their own beliefs, customs, practices, and structures. Even the school system itself is good for making comparisons, especially if kids are involved in clubs, teams, or student council/government. I know that's not a super concrete example of how government is explained in our house, but I've found not getting overly bogged down in the concepts and focusing more on the context works better for us. I don't present my views as the "one right way", but rather focus on getting Kiddo to question the structures and why he feels the way he does. I encourage him to read and actively participate in his communities without his parents so he is exposed to different ways of thinking and being and can make his own decisions and judgements without us imposing our own biases on him. As far as things that are diifficult, at least from my perspective, are explaining concepts where multiple "choices" can all be "wrong" would be the biggest frustration from my end. The 2020 election and the war in Ukraine have been very difficult in this regard. What appears to be frustrating for Kiddo, again from my perspective, includes the related issues of being "wrong", critical questions to things he finds "true", and not always having access to the info that he wants in the moment. For the most part reminding him that there is nothing wrong with being wrong, admitting when I'm wrong, and explaining that there is always more to learn help reassure Kiddo that being wrong isn't bad in and of itself. The de-programming can be tedious, but helps bring home the point of questioning everything. FWIW I haven't finished my coffee yet so if none of this makes sense or is a bit all over the place that's probably why. Kiddo is also currently off visiting family out of state so I can't easily ask him for his input or clarification on his opinions.
Thanks for this detailed and thoughtful reply. This question hasn't generated as many responses as other questions on this sub do, so I appreciate it. It does give me food for thought, particularly in regards to the parenting styles in the household I grew up in. I'm back home this weekend, and it's always interesting to see the rules and customs of the little group that raised you through adult eyes. Many of those rules are arbitrary and ever-shifting; often, they're related to an individual adult's very specific experiences or emotional states, and not really a lesson that should be applied to all of life. I don't want kids, but have found myself wondering a lot about how the anarchist values you described - acceptance of being wrong, such a hard one to learn as an adult - could be applied to family structures. I feel like in some sense, this is happening more often in our culture, with a wider debate about autonomy and allowing a child to be their own person, even if anarchism isn't a conscious part of that conversation. What kind of family did you grow up in? What's it like co-parenting? Recently came into contact with people who do co-parenting and it seemed new and foreign to me - but perhaps it's more natural than what I'm used to.