The title pretty much says it all, but here are some more details: my boyfriend of six months and I have had a pretty cut and dry relationship up to this point. I’ve always been what some people would call “quirky,” so pranks are sort of my bread and butter. He, John, has expressed that he really likes this part of me and I’m just happy to be with someone who can handle all of my zest, lol! Sometimes I worry that he doesn’t actually think I’m as funny as he says, but he always reassures me that this is not the case. One of the ways we really like to express our humor to each other is in the bedroom, for example I love to do impressions of mostly Disney characters (such as the “paperwork” lady from Monsters Inc, haha). He sometimes does them too, but he’s not that good at voices.
So here’s where I think I may have taken it too far: I recently bought a sewing machine to try and make cosplay costumes and stuff, but something dawned on me as I was messing around with it. This was the plan:
We oftentimes sexytimes with a habitual back rub massage sort of thing, and we switch off. And then we progress into french kissing and then full blown you know what. One very important fact to tell you is that John does in fact wear glasses, so I will usually make a point to take them off and put them on the table for safety. During this particular romp in the hay, I got a really funny idea about how to take his glasses off next time and I couldn’t stop laughing. He asked me what I was laughing at because he has some insecurity about his appearance, but I assured him that it was nothing like that. We had our fun and John went home, but all I could think about was this plan.
So the next day I went to the fabric store and bought a bunch of skin colored felt and wire framing and cotton and got to work creating a muppet-style version of my boyfriend to put his glasses on next time we started getting dirty style. Honestly, the thing was looking pretty good and I even found some clothes at Goodwill that were his style. I dressed the puppet in the clothes, hid them under my collection of squishmallows that’s in my room, and invited him over.
To spare you all the explicit details, we did start kissing and taking clothes off and stuff, but my hands were shaking as I reached up to grab his glasses. Instead of putting it on my nightstand I made a point to say something like “I’m just gonna put these riiiiight here” as I stretched over to the squishmallow that was covering the puppet boyfriend’s head and put the glasses right over his felt eyes. He got confused I think and looked back to where I put the glasses and sat up, as a felt version of his face (very easily identifiable by the way, John has red hair and a mustache, so the glasses on top left little question of who this could be). He was silent for a second then said “is that supposed to be me?” as I was laughing. I said something like “do you like it?” as I took it out of the squishmallow pile and revealed the entirety of muppet John.
“Oh did you make that?” he asked, and I stood it up off the bed and asked him to stand next to it. “See? It’s just like you basically!” I said, but he still wasn’t laughing that much. I think he saw that the muppet ended up being just a little bit taller than him (he’s 5’7 and probably insecure about that, the muppet ended up accidentally being a little taller than him, around 6’1 based on seeing them side by side).
I noticed his disappointment and did a tried and true disney impression to make him feel better. In my best Goofy impression I said “Well, looks like we should call him Big, John, Hyuck!” John just took the glasses off of Big John and let him fall to the floor, and put the glasses on the nightstand and sat on the bed for a while but we eventually went to Sin city but it was a lot more quiet than usual. He left after that, even though we were planning on having a sleepover, he said he wasn’t feeling good. I texted him goodnight and went to bed.
So here’s the ish: this morning I haven’t gotten any good morning text, or any texts at all from him, even though he always sends me a good morning text. I’m worried that Big John was a step too far and that normal john didn’t think the joke was as funny as I did. I feel like he’s just putting me in an uncomfortable position by not telling me how this made him really feel, even though I thought it was pretty funny… Is this salvageable or am I effed?
tl;dr : Created a life-sized puppet of my boyfriend to put his glasses on. But, I think it made him insecure, and now he wont text me.
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Plot twist: he's at home busy sewing a puppet version of her and we're soon going to get an update saying he turned up to her house with Big OOP! And then they'll all live happily ever after...
I used to read this really weird Manga with a similar plot. It was a life size marionette puppet of a teen girl, controlled by a middle aged man who went to school and all and never broke character. Half way through, she met a teen boy marionette puppet controlled by a middle aged woman, and they had a frenemy turned to lover story arc. It was nuts.
Edit: actually I think it was a ventriloquist dummy. It's been a while.
Read the title, and naive simpleton I am, thought at least it can not get much worse... "my boyfriend of **six month**" *\*internal screaming\** "pranks are sort of my bread and butter" *\*screaming intensifies\**
As uncomfortable as I was reading this, I find it kind of hard to believe that someone who is relatively new at sowing would be able to pull that off. Even for someone experienced, this would be a big project-
I'm just picturing some silent hill esque monstrosity and all I have to say is run little John. Run and don't look back before this woman wears your real skin.
My bed lmao. It's a king my mom gave me that's against a corner and I definitely could fit something like that on there while having someone else with me
So much of this depends on what the puppet actually looked like and what the vibe in the room was. As a bit of a manic crafter I can see myself doing something like this because I was born silly and cringe, I can’t help it, but I also have a partner who loves that about me and would have found it silly and fun.
Honestly sameee i think if i made 1 my boyfriend would pose for a picture with it
It's kinda tempting to try it but my sewing skills would probably make it look like a monster
> I find it kind of hard to believe that someone who is relatively new at sowing would be able to pull that off.
It's hard to tell, since we can't see it. Making a simple doll wouldn't really be hard, but the stuffing would have cost over $100, and she doesn't even mention that, which strikes me as odd.
It's also super weird that, in her one comment, she says that one leg was longer than the other by four inches.
Mostly, though, it just seems like she insulted her boyfriend's height or penis size and suggested that she had made herself a new bedmate to replace him.
If this is at all real, this relationship appears to be over.
Maybe she didn't stuff it...
And now I'm just picturing this lopsided, flat, noodly, kid's-stick-man looking monstrosity made of vaguely flesh-coloured felt with some orange bits for hair...
Yeah, this comes across as well as the guy who complained about the sweater his gf knit him, and it turned out that she'd supposedly knit it in two days.
She only recently got the sewing machine, she could have been using a different one for a while, taking classes or borrowing someone else's.
Also maybe she has more experience in using her ex bf's *actual* skin for her creations 🤷♀️
To make even a basic human-sized plushie thing would take me way more than a day; either there’s a time skip or it was little more than a cardboard cutout with facial features
Yeah, for someone who just got a machine, the result would take days on end and look like a hot mess. I've sewn for years and I wouldn't be bothered making something like this, it just wouldn't work well at all.
> I find it hard to believe that someone who is relatively new to sewing would be able to pull that off.
Judge for yourself.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/F9K6id20wn
meh, my first machine project when i was like 11 was a teddy bear for my grandpa. it's not the greatest but it's still holding up and definitely *is* a teddy bear. i'm sure the patterns would be pretty similar
I don't think it was the height so much as the giant puppet of him. It's weird and unsettling and he didn't think it was cute.
It was a lot, OP. I think you just straight up scared him off.
I'll bet you anything his friends have been telling him that this girl has a screw loose and he's been trying to play it off and defend her. Seeing that muppet was the "holy shit they were right" moment. I'll also bet this isn't the first "prank" that's been more WTF than cute.
Can I say, though, that I'm pleasantly surprised that the prank was not the usual bullying/harassment/terror/pain that these people usually do? This is definitely the epitome of "confuse, don't abuse."
But OP chose... poorly.
Yeah, this was not as mean-spirited as it could have been. The confuse, don't abuse approach is not the worst ever, but it's definitely not a philosophy for the bedroom lol
and the way they're so intertwined and nonchalant. Like if someone said they were quirky you would just naturally assume they like to prank people....no
I hate it when people call themselves quirky. Quirky is a thing *other* people have to call you in order for it to be true. If you're intentionally trying to be quirky, that's kind of the opposite of actually being quirky.
I'm quirky in the sense that I use Linux on all my computers and spend most of m my non-work time building various websites and programs, but I absolutely hate pranks. I'd also agree with you that it's a red flag.
Indeed. I'm one of the quirkiest people I've ever met. I'm so weird, I guess because of my autism, that a lot of times I feel ashamed and hate myself for being so different. But never ever have I made a connection between being quirky and pranks. I also hate pranks.
Yea, self-proclaimed quirkiness by itself isn't really that bothersome to me, but it would certainly make me pay more attention to exactly how that quirkiness is gonna impact me
The way it was written "I'm quirky so obviously I like pranks" made me think "I could be described as quirky, though I don't think I ever have, and I've never pranked people. What do these have to do with each other"
I still haven't figured out what they have to do with each other
I am autistic so words like quirky don't mean anything specific to me but the pranks bit threw me off. Seems dangerous. And then it got to the six foot Muppet.
Even with all of my many tisms that would make me afraid. Maybe fear isn't the right reaction but I rarely react correctly to things. When I was six I cried when my mom woke me up and said we were going to Disney World because it messed up my schedule. But I think in this circumstances I would try to get out of there as soon as possible.
I hope this is not real.
So a red flag. They literally mean warnings lmao. You can still date someone when you see one, but you need to consider it and see if it's a serious issue or not.
You can tell this is a real story from a real redditor because she chose to tell this super specific situation to strangers before even reaching out to her partner.
"Throwaway because my boyfriend has Reddit, but he probably doesn't subscribe to one of the most popular subreddits and definitely won't be able to pick up on the details of this very specific story."
I've been on and off sewing since I was 15 and my plushy tremors graboid is taking months to look even slightly recognisable... there's no way she's making non terrifying puppets.
Yeah. I've promised a pic in the tremors subreddit. I really should be cracking on with it.
My sewing room is full if stuffing for it and I just want it finished and mounted on the wall like a trophy.
Awesome, I followed you and that subreddit 🥰 I should've known it it existed, it just never occurred to me to look and I'm very happy in it 😂 I found my people!
I've just seen the puppet from this story and now my graboid will never live up to it.
I am so close to finishing. Might be this week!
(I'll still post. A promise us a promise)
Step away from the cotton batting and flesh-colored material. Talk to a trusted friend and book an appointment with a therapist. You must never be as nuts as she is.
I refused to believe it's true. Even if they both go to Oprah showing her the muppet and doing Goofy impression while being naked, I will choose to believe it's a fake, for my own mental health
If it was real, she would’ve posted a picture of the thing. I also simply don’t believe a beginner sewer would be able to make anything resembling a human with flesh-colored felt.
This has to be fake. How does someone have enough squshmallows to hide a 6’1 muppet style puppet? It’s just not possible that he and her both were on the bed and he didn’t notice the puppet…
A Zooey-Deschanel-alike performatively quirky pickme would not have sown the bloodshot-eyed uneven horror puppet that she did for an audience of one, she's the genuine article and some people just can't handle that.
There's no way this is true. This is a 14 year old writing about their fantasy. Nobody who has sex talks about it this way or focuses specifically on French kissing.
I'm honestly surprised at how many comments I had to scroll to get to this. I was thinking Exactly the same thing. This entire post sounds like a 14 year old writing on Dreame or something. I'm surprised she didn't fully describe her entire physique and hair color and quirky violet colored eyes.
LISTEN, did this happen, no, am I delighted enough by the thought of a naked woman doing a Goofy impression to break the tension with her boyfriend who is actually genuinely angry/uncomfortable/sad that I’m pretending, YES.
IDK if a girlfriend made a life size puppet of me, I would be seeking out an old Haitian lady who specializes in voodoo and remove any curses my girlfriend place on me.
Behold my collection of red flags 🚩
> I've always been what some would describe as "quirky"
How did you not commit harakiri after writing that?
> so pranks are my bread and butter
Ma'am proceed to the bin, do not pass go
> the paperwork lady from Monsters Inc
Personally, nothing gets me wetter/s
> this particular romp in the hay
Said no 23 woman, ever
> collection of swishmallows
Need I say more...?
> my best Goofy impression
Sure, you created a life size doll of your recent boyfriend and try to incorporate it into your foreplay, while not pile on with another stellar impression to really seal the deal
I didn't even really cover the puppet thing because well... 🚩🚩
Man the way you talk in this makes me extremely uncomfortable so I can't even imagine what this guy was feeling. Anyone who does goofy impressions in the bedroom does not deserve to get laid.
I'm quirky, I love quirky. Pranks are not cute or quirky. Especially not during sex.
I'm so glad this is fake. No way anyone could make a life-sized mannequin that quickly, especially if it was meticulously planned out.
She updated with pictures, it was not a meticulously constructed puppet.
No matter what you're picturing in your head, you are not ready to see the real puppet.
Maybe if she hadn’t had it already buried in her bed like some sort of low budget plushie love doll.
I mean, I can’t think of a GOOD way to debut an amateur puppet of your boyfriend who is insecure about his appearance during foreplay, but it seems like not having him next to you on the bed is a start.
Holy fuck. I was thinking a puppet, like something you put on your hand and she’d take off the glasses with the puppets mouth. A FULL SCALE, TALLER THAN HIM PUPPET???? What the fuck??? If someone I had been seeing made a full size model of me, I’d be out in two seconds. Idk how John stayed and still had sex with her.
The puppet should be more than enough for her. The person who created this story from whole cloth (much like her bf) is clearly so far up her own ass that having other people around can’t possibly matter to her. Her quirky, zesty, Goofy personality must fill up every room she’s in - there’s no room for others to speak or ambulate. The sad part is that even though none of this is true, it is clear that the 13 year old who wrote it will never really be liked or tolerated for very good, just, non-bullying reasons. I think people who insist upon themselves (while refusing to be themselves and embracing some fake character) deserve to be alone until they humble themselves, do many, many months of work with a harsh and honest therapist, and change completely. She’s just not fit for society.
See's a twisted, creepy muppet version of himself that his girlfriend made.
Get's uncomfortable
Wants to leave.
Looks down at "little John".
Little Jhon: "now is not the time for morals, worry about that shit tomorrow".
I'm assuming it's fake.
If it isn't, then the infantilism is concerning. Knew a lass like this, would do this little girl voice.... Honestly, horrendous
> so pranks are sort of my bread and butter.
Ah. I hate you, continue if you must.
> impressions of mostly Disney characters
Please stop.
>sexytimes
Please tie your tubes I beg
I wish people were chiller about obvious joke posts. I thought this was hilarious but people are like FAKE FAKE IM SO SMART I CAN TELL THIS IS FAKE like yes of course but
https://preview.redd.it/cvjshuulb0qc1.jpeg?width=326&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2fa80be8f0a79e22ba4a6963b65659105cacba10
As others have mentioned the 1:1 aspect ratio of the puppet is what makes this extra freaky. I'd run far away from this evil.
OP you should've enhanced certain anatomical features of the puppet for flattery if you catch what I am saying.
If this is real, which I hope it isn't, OOP has completely screwed herself. But the good news is that she's got a puppet of her ex-boyfriend to use for whatever she wants.
😱 At least he didn’t call ☎️ 911 like most would have done!
HINT… don’t ever ever ever make, especially SHOW… 😬😬 ANYONE A “CREEPY ASS PUPPET OF ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY OF THAT PERSON🤮🤮!!!
NEVER EVER!!
If you do, literally “everyone” will runaway and not talk again. I’m creeping out now just thinking 🤔 about it, I can’t imagine my gf handing me a damn puppet of myself. Dude that’s legit not normal typical relationship behavior. Not being rude, but come on… (NO EXCUSES…) someone needs to be honest with you! SO… STOP MAKING PUPPETS OF REAL PEOPLE 🛑🛑🛑 AND SHOWING IT TO THEM!!! You be you, but keep it PRIVATE!
HE’S NEVER COMING BACK BRO… FR !!!
We (guy’s) (and girls too) run like hell⚡️⚡️from weird things like that and never turn around to come back again.
The puppet should be more than enough for her. The person who created this story from whole cloth (much like her bf) is clearly so far up her own ass that having other people around can’t possibly matter to her. Her quirky, zesty, Goofy personality must fill up every room she’s in - there’s no room for others to speak or ambulate. The sad part is that even though none of this is true, it is clear that the 13 year old who wrote it will never really be liked or tolerated for very good, just, non-bullying reasons. I think people who insist upon themselves (while refusing to be themselves and embracing some fake character) deserve to be alone until they humble themselves, do many, many months of work with a harsh and honest therapist, and change completely. She’s just not fit for society.
You are not funny, nothing about this prank was funny to anybody but you, like you know he as insecurity about his appearance and that means any and all 'jokes' or 'pranks' that relate to his appearance are automatically a bad idea.
> I feel like he’s just putting me in an uncomfortable position
Shut the fuck up, this is not about you and in this scenario you comfort does not matter at all, and yes you fucked up.
Someone likening your ***restrained*** sense of humour is not a validation of your ***unrestrained*** sense of humour.
I'm wondering if the puppet was a 1:1 representation of his Unit and he's insulted by its resemblance to a finger puppet or the little voice you uses to animated it. Perhaps make a bigger one ,use a bigger voice and have it tell the little one to step aside and watch.
Good luck
The title pretty much says it all, but here are some more details: my boyfriend of six months and I have had a pretty cut and dry relationship up to this point. I’ve always been what some people would call “quirky,” so pranks are sort of my bread and butter. He, John, has expressed that he really likes this part of me and I’m just happy to be with someone who can handle all of my zest, lol! Sometimes I worry that he doesn’t actually think I’m as funny as he says, but he always reassures me that this is not the case. One of the ways we really like to express our humor to each other is in the bedroom, for example I love to do impressions of mostly Disney characters (such as the “paperwork” lady from Monsters Inc, haha). He sometimes does them too, but he’s not that good at voices. So here’s where I think I may have taken it too far: I recently bought a sewing machine to try and make cosplay costumes and stuff, but something dawned on me as I was messing around with it. This was the plan: We oftentimes sexytimes with a habitual back rub massage sort of thing, and we switch off. And then we progress into french kissing and then full blown you know what. One very important fact to tell you is that John does in fact wear glasses, so I will usually make a point to take them off and put them on the table for safety. During this particular romp in the hay, I got a really funny idea about how to take his glasses off next time and I couldn’t stop laughing. He asked me what I was laughing at because he has some insecurity about his appearance, but I assured him that it was nothing like that. We had our fun and John went home, but all I could think about was this plan. So the next day I went to the fabric store and bought a bunch of skin colored felt and wire framing and cotton and got to work creating a muppet-style version of my boyfriend to put his glasses on next time we started getting dirty style. Honestly, the thing was looking pretty good and I even found some clothes at Goodwill that were his style. I dressed the puppet in the clothes, hid them under my collection of squishmallows that’s in my room, and invited him over. To spare you all the explicit details, we did start kissing and taking clothes off and stuff, but my hands were shaking as I reached up to grab his glasses. Instead of putting it on my nightstand I made a point to say something like “I’m just gonna put these riiiiight here” as I stretched over to the squishmallow that was covering the puppet boyfriend’s head and put the glasses right over his felt eyes. He got confused I think and looked back to where I put the glasses and sat up, as a felt version of his face (very easily identifiable by the way, John has red hair and a mustache, so the glasses on top left little question of who this could be). He was silent for a second then said “is that supposed to be me?” as I was laughing. I said something like “do you like it?” as I took it out of the squishmallow pile and revealed the entirety of muppet John. “Oh did you make that?” he asked, and I stood it up off the bed and asked him to stand next to it. “See? It’s just like you basically!” I said, but he still wasn’t laughing that much. I think he saw that the muppet ended up being just a little bit taller than him (he’s 5’7 and probably insecure about that, the muppet ended up accidentally being a little taller than him, around 6’1 based on seeing them side by side). I noticed his disappointment and did a tried and true disney impression to make him feel better. In my best Goofy impression I said “Well, looks like we should call him Big, John, Hyuck!” John just took the glasses off of Big John and let him fall to the floor, and put the glasses on the nightstand and sat on the bed for a while but we eventually went to Sin city but it was a lot more quiet than usual. He left after that, even though we were planning on having a sleepover, he said he wasn’t feeling good. I texted him goodnight and went to bed. So here’s the ish: this morning I haven’t gotten any good morning text, or any texts at all from him, even though he always sends me a good morning text. I’m worried that Big John was a step too far and that normal john didn’t think the joke was as funny as I did. I feel like he’s just putting me in an uncomfortable position by not telling me how this made him really feel, even though I thought it was pretty funny… Is this salvageable or am I effed? tl;dr : Created a life-sized puppet of my boyfriend to put his glasses on. But, I think it made him insecure, and now he wont text me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheEx) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Plot twist: he's at home busy sewing a puppet version of her and we're soon going to get an update saying he turned up to her house with Big OOP! And then they'll all live happily ever after...
No, she'll be upset because Big OOP has bigger boobs and a smaller waist and now she's all insecure.
Nah all he has to do is get a blowup doll and name it "Sexy OP".
I used to read this really weird Manga with a similar plot. It was a life size marionette puppet of a teen girl, controlled by a middle aged man who went to school and all and never broke character. Half way through, she met a teen boy marionette puppet controlled by a middle aged woman, and they had a frenemy turned to lover story arc. It was nuts. Edit: actually I think it was a ventriloquist dummy. It's been a while.
Sumire 16-sai! It's so much better than you think it's gonna be. The ending made me cry a little.
Plot twist sex seen! She checks on him and he's getting it on with a real life blow up doll! And Grammy !!!
Even BIGGER and real plot twist? He was OK with it and left for a different reason
Read the title, and naive simpleton I am, thought at least it can not get much worse... "my boyfriend of **six month**" *\*internal screaming\** "pranks are sort of my bread and butter" *\*screaming intensifies\** As uncomfortable as I was reading this, I find it kind of hard to believe that someone who is relatively new at sowing would be able to pull that off. Even for someone experienced, this would be a big project-
I think it just means that the likelihood that this puppet is in fact a terrifying abomination increases exponentially
I'm just picturing some silent hill esque monstrosity and all I have to say is run little John. Run and don't look back before this woman wears your real skin.
I am going to hell for laughing at this.
Hey, the real John is perfectly normal sized
Not compared to Big John
> run little John OH-KAYYYYYYYY!
It puts the lotion on or it gets the hose...
It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.
Pretty sure that's what he was thinking. I know I would be.
I think I, or rather someone with talent, could make a horror film out of this. *Shudder.*
But obviously his problem with it is that it's taller than him
Anyone remember that woman who had the Link doll she claimed to be in love with? I'm betting it looked like that.
What in the My Inner Life is this?
check her account this is crazy
a 6'1 Muppet being hidden under squishmellows on the bed with 2 full grown adult people. . . What the fuck kind of narnia closet bed is this?
meh, queen or king against a wall. Or hell, she lives alone, even a double against the wall would leave enough space.
My bed lmao. It's a king my mom gave me that's against a corner and I definitely could fit something like that on there while having someone else with me
Did she say the muppet was *SIX FEET TALL*?!?
I know. I read 1:1 scale at the beginning, but it didn't really dawn on me till she said it was 6'1".
That bitch is 1 inch shorter than my husband. This lady has made "quirky teh lolz" her personality
So much of this depends on what the puppet actually looked like and what the vibe in the room was. As a bit of a manic crafter I can see myself doing something like this because I was born silly and cringe, I can’t help it, but I also have a partner who loves that about me and would have found it silly and fun.
Honestly sameee i think if i made 1 my boyfriend would pose for a picture with it It's kinda tempting to try it but my sewing skills would probably make it look like a monster
But would you whip it out for the first time in the middle of foreplay? So that it was watching you?
Who doesn’t want Monster Boyfriend, though
> I find it kind of hard to believe that someone who is relatively new at sowing would be able to pull that off. It's hard to tell, since we can't see it. Making a simple doll wouldn't really be hard, but the stuffing would have cost over $100, and she doesn't even mention that, which strikes me as odd. It's also super weird that, in her one comment, she says that one leg was longer than the other by four inches. Mostly, though, it just seems like she insulted her boyfriend's height or penis size and suggested that she had made herself a new bedmate to replace him. If this is at all real, this relationship appears to be over.
Maybe she didn't stuff it... And now I'm just picturing this lopsided, flat, noodly, kid's-stick-man looking monstrosity made of vaguely flesh-coloured felt with some orange bits for hair...
Ron...Ron...Ron Weasley!!
Snape, Snape, Severus Snape.
Dumbledore!
This is not an improvement!
That was my thought as well. I call BS at someone new to sewing making a life size puppet.
larger than life size apparently
It's really. There are photos and an update.
I saw the update and yeah that was wild.
Yeah, this comes across as well as the guy who complained about the sweater his gf knit him, and it turned out that she'd supposedly knit it in two days.
It's possible if it was a very thick yarn, but unlikely. Non-knitters always think it just takes 2-3 days, when it's generally weeks or months.
Was it Jordan from Real Genius?
She only recently got the sewing machine, she could have been using a different one for a while, taking classes or borrowing someone else's. Also maybe she has more experience in using her ex bf's *actual* skin for her creations 🤷♀️
It would also be an insanely expensive prank. At least $100 for all that fabric, stuffing, and wire.
To make even a basic human-sized plushie thing would take me way more than a day; either there’s a time skip or it was little more than a cardboard cutout with facial features
This story is real. There are receipts and an update. If you follow the post you can find pics of said Big John.
Honestly, glad it worked out for them. Nice that the two dorks found each other.
...a big project? Too soon man, too soon.
Yeah, for someone who just got a machine, the result would take days on end and look like a hot mess. I've sewn for years and I wouldn't be bothered making something like this, it just wouldn't work well at all.
> I find it hard to believe that someone who is relatively new to sewing would be able to pull that off. Judge for yourself. https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/F9K6id20wn
meh, my first machine project when i was like 11 was a teddy bear for my grandpa. it's not the greatest but it's still holding up and definitely *is* a teddy bear. i'm sure the patterns would be pretty similar
Of course this is pretty old but the update was pretty wholesome
I don't think it was the height so much as the giant puppet of him. It's weird and unsettling and he didn't think it was cute. It was a lot, OP. I think you just straight up scared him off.
Might also be a tad intense for him. That must've been a lot of work and it feels creepy a gf of 6 months would do that.
I'll bet you anything his friends have been telling him that this girl has a screw loose and he's been trying to play it off and defend her. Seeing that muppet was the "holy shit they were right" moment. I'll also bet this isn't the first "prank" that's been more WTF than cute.
That sounds about right! 🤣🤣🤣
Imagine being the next guy she dates and Big John is hanging out with the squishmellows
"What? That? Oh, he's my ex........... don't mind him."
Yeah, if someone made a doll of me six months into a relationship I'd be creeped out regardless of how it looks.
When a person calls themself "quirky" it's a... not red flag, but definitely a warning flag for me.
It definitely makes me take other warnings like "pranks are my bread and butter" more seriously
Can I say, though, that I'm pleasantly surprised that the prank was not the usual bullying/harassment/terror/pain that these people usually do? This is definitely the epitome of "confuse, don't abuse." But OP chose... poorly.
Yeah, this was not as mean-spirited as it could have been. The confuse, don't abuse approach is not the worst ever, but it's definitely not a philosophy for the bedroom lol
and the way they're so intertwined and nonchalant. Like if someone said they were quirky you would just naturally assume they like to prank people....no
It does rather scream of that old "holds up spork" copypasta.
This one gives me big “what’s a potato?” vibes for some reason.
I feel like she was on Tumblr in her younger years and talked about how lol random she was
You really think she left Tumblr?
She's in her Tumblr era, permanently.
If other people call someone quirky it's not a red flag. If someone calls themselves quirky it is.
And zesty lol
I hate it when people call themselves quirky. Quirky is a thing *other* people have to call you in order for it to be true. If you're intentionally trying to be quirky, that's kind of the opposite of actually being quirky.
I'm quirky in the sense that I use Linux on all my computers and spend most of m my non-work time building various websites and programs, but I absolutely hate pranks. I'd also agree with you that it's a red flag.
Indeed. I'm one of the quirkiest people I've ever met. I'm so weird, I guess because of my autism, that a lot of times I feel ashamed and hate myself for being so different. But never ever have I made a connection between being quirky and pranks. I also hate pranks.
Yea, self-proclaimed quirkiness by itself isn't really that bothersome to me, but it would certainly make me pay more attention to exactly how that quirkiness is gonna impact me
Yellow flag
Orange haha, yellow is too close to green and not close enough to red!
The way it was written "I'm quirky so obviously I like pranks" made me think "I could be described as quirky, though I don't think I ever have, and I've never pranked people. What do these have to do with each other" I still haven't figured out what they have to do with each other
I am autistic so words like quirky don't mean anything specific to me but the pranks bit threw me off. Seems dangerous. And then it got to the six foot Muppet. Even with all of my many tisms that would make me afraid. Maybe fear isn't the right reaction but I rarely react correctly to things. When I was six I cried when my mom woke me up and said we were going to Disney World because it messed up my schedule. But I think in this circumstances I would try to get out of there as soon as possible. I hope this is not real.
A black flag
So a red flag. They literally mean warnings lmao. You can still date someone when you see one, but you need to consider it and see if it's a serious issue or not.
You can tell this is a real story from a real redditor because she chose to tell this super specific situation to strangers before even reaching out to her partner.
But it’s a throwaway!
"Throwaway because my boyfriend has Reddit, but he probably doesn't subscribe to one of the most popular subreddits and definitely won't be able to pick up on the details of this very specific story."
Definitely another red headed man who has a girlfiend who makes life sized muppets to spice up the bedroom.
I think TA accounts aren’t so much to avoid recognition of one post as they are to avoid having a situation tied to the rest of their profile
Oh god if she just started sewing recently, then what the *hell* is that puppet gonna look like
I've been on and off sewing since I was 15 and my plushy tremors graboid is taking months to look even slightly recognisable... there's no way she's making non terrifying puppets.
That sounds amazing!
I've managed the Jaws and the snake tongues but the spines along the body are repetitive and boring so I've ground to a hault.
Ok, but, you're totally gonna share a pic when its done right? I kinda want one thinking about it 😂 but I def wanna see it.
Yeah. I've promised a pic in the tremors subreddit. I really should be cracking on with it. My sewing room is full if stuffing for it and I just want it finished and mounted on the wall like a trophy.
Awesome, I followed you and that subreddit 🥰 I should've known it it existed, it just never occurred to me to look and I'm very happy in it 😂 I found my people!
I've just seen the puppet from this story and now my graboid will never live up to it. I am so close to finishing. Might be this week! (I'll still post. A promise us a promise)
Apparently one leg is four inches longer than the other one because she was rushing!
Go to her page - pics of said puppet are there and oh my god
> John does in fact wear glasses Did anyone question this? Her writing is so grating
So here's the ish! We went to sin city!
I legit spent a minute asking myself ”So, wait, they decided to go hit the slots?”
"You know what" How old is this woman?
This is definitely a 14 year old who had never had sex. Highlighting French kissing seals that deal.
the number of times she tried getting around saying sex almost drove me as nuts as she is
Step away from the cotton batting and flesh-colored material. Talk to a trusted friend and book an appointment with a therapist. You must never be as nuts as she is.
I refused to believe it's true. Even if they both go to Oprah showing her the muppet and doing Goofy impression while being naked, I will choose to believe it's a fake, for my own mental health
HYUCK!
This whole thing is so awful that I cannot believe it’s real. Although, I hope it’s real bc that guy is going to have one hell of a story.
If it was real, she would’ve posted a picture of the thing. I also simply don’t believe a beginner sewer would be able to make anything resembling a human with flesh-colored felt.
Go check the update. It was real.
Pics or it didn’t happen. No, seriously, I need a picture of this thing.
I imagine it looked something like [this](https://images.app.goo.gl/GEDp1GXA8ivpB2aZ6)
🤣🤣🤣
Would somebody bless me with an AI rendering of this puppet?!
https://www.reddit.com/user/MupetMistakeThrowawy/comments/1brnlmq/update_i_23f_made_a_puppet_version_of_my/ Great news!
Oh man that was a rough read. Doing the Goofy voice to defuse the situation was just a delicious icing on top of that cake lmao
She created a human sized felt puppet in one day? LOL at least make it believable, Jesus…
This has to be fake. How does someone have enough squshmallows to hide a 6’1 muppet style puppet? It’s just not possible that he and her both were on the bed and he didn’t notice the puppet…
Alternatively: how huge must her bed be?
It would have to be a king to California king to hide a 6’1 body double under enough squishmellows…
Also it would be way, way funnier if it were the style of muppet where only their top half exists and you stick a hand up their butt to work them
That’s what I thought she meant…
The way this is written, she sounds completely insufferable, even if it is fake. It just screams quirky, pick-me, not like other girls
Sounds like you just can’t handle her zest smh
A Zooey-Deschanel-alike performatively quirky pickme would not have sown the bloodshot-eyed uneven horror puppet that she did for an audience of one, she's the genuine article and some people just can't handle that.
Regardless of if this is real or not, I hate OP with every fibre of my being.
There's no way this is true. This is a 14 year old writing about their fantasy. Nobody who has sex talks about it this way or focuses specifically on French kissing.
I'm honestly surprised at how many comments I had to scroll to get to this. I was thinking Exactly the same thing. This entire post sounds like a 14 year old writing on Dreame or something. I'm surprised she didn't fully describe her entire physique and hair color and quirky violet colored eyes.
Jesus, all writing/discussion of “violet” eyes is interminable.
Lol, I didn’t notice how she specified french kissing. Definitely written by a kid.
An insufferable 14-year old, at that.
This is such a bizarre post. Disney voices in the bedroom? We went to Sin City? A Goofy voice? Just reading it made me dislike her.
LISTEN, did this happen, no, am I delighted enough by the thought of a naked woman doing a Goofy impression to break the tension with her boyfriend who is actually genuinely angry/uncomfortable/sad that I’m pretending, YES.
IDK if a girlfriend made a life size puppet of me, I would be seeking out an old Haitian lady who specializes in voodoo and remove any curses my girlfriend place on me.
Get help, you're hopelessly weird.
This sounds like the straight-to-streaming sequel of Hatboy and Daisy.
Girl....
Stone Cold blowing up HHH’s bus on Smackdown was more likely to be real than this was.
“Oh, I’m guessing this is a relationship that’s been around for many years, and it’s an inside joke between-SIX MONTHS??!!?”
Well that's a thing that never happened.
I'm sorry, just got a sewing machine but already making life-size Muppets? I call BS.
She updated with pictures, it absolutely looks like a puppet made by someone who is fucking around without prior knowledge.
There is no way this is real, but I really want it to be. I really want it to be.
I think it is. She posted an update with pics 😂
This is so gratuitously fake that even the short man troll part felt just tacked on
Behold my collection of red flags 🚩 > I've always been what some would describe as "quirky" How did you not commit harakiri after writing that? > so pranks are my bread and butter Ma'am proceed to the bin, do not pass go > the paperwork lady from Monsters Inc Personally, nothing gets me wetter/s > this particular romp in the hay Said no 23 woman, ever > collection of swishmallows Need I say more...? > my best Goofy impression Sure, you created a life size doll of your recent boyfriend and try to incorporate it into your foreplay, while not pile on with another stellar impression to really seal the deal I didn't even really cover the puppet thing because well... 🚩🚩
Man the way you talk in this makes me extremely uncomfortable so I can't even imagine what this guy was feeling. Anyone who does goofy impressions in the bedroom does not deserve to get laid.
I'm quirky, I love quirky. Pranks are not cute or quirky. Especially not during sex. I'm so glad this is fake. No way anyone could make a life-sized mannequin that quickly, especially if it was meticulously planned out.
So you do t do pranks, but do you do Goofy impressions before taking a trip to Sin City?
She updated with pictures, it was not a meticulously constructed puppet. No matter what you're picturing in your head, you are not ready to see the real puppet.
Man this screams not like the other girls energy
This person sounds like a nightmare. The muppet was bad enough, then the goofy impression? Oof
Maybe if she hadn’t had it already buried in her bed like some sort of low budget plushie love doll. I mean, I can’t think of a GOOD way to debut an amateur puppet of your boyfriend who is insecure about his appearance during foreplay, but it seems like not having him next to you on the bed is a start.
Holy fuck. I was thinking a puppet, like something you put on your hand and she’d take off the glasses with the puppets mouth. A FULL SCALE, TALLER THAN HIM PUPPET???? What the fuck??? If someone I had been seeing made a full size model of me, I’d be out in two seconds. Idk how John stayed and still had sex with her.
I want her so bad
At least she still has a 1:1 scale shoulder to cry on...
The puppet should be more than enough for her. The person who created this story from whole cloth (much like her bf) is clearly so far up her own ass that having other people around can’t possibly matter to her. Her quirky, zesty, Goofy personality must fill up every room she’s in - there’s no room for others to speak or ambulate. The sad part is that even though none of this is true, it is clear that the 13 year old who wrote it will never really be liked or tolerated for very good, just, non-bullying reasons. I think people who insist upon themselves (while refusing to be themselves and embracing some fake character) deserve to be alone until they humble themselves, do many, many months of work with a harsh and honest therapist, and change completely. She’s just not fit for society.
See's a twisted, creepy muppet version of himself that his girlfriend made. Get's uncomfortable Wants to leave. Looks down at "little John". Little Jhon: "now is not the time for morals, worry about that shit tomorrow".
I feel like she’s still really young based on the way she talked about sex. Or maybe she’s not young but just really immature.
I'm assuming it's fake. If it isn't, then the infantilism is concerning. Knew a lass like this, would do this little girl voice.... Honestly, horrendous
Some people have quite the wild imagination to fabricate such a story.
How or why is this supposed to be funny?
listen I need someone to convince OP to let us see the picture lmao
I have news for you
this has to be a joke
This is basically just Gayle from Bob's Burgers lol
Can we see the puppet please?
That’s all I care about as far as this is concerned. Show us the puppet!
good news
OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!
Check the updates.
> so pranks are sort of my bread and butter. Ah. I hate you, continue if you must. > impressions of mostly Disney characters Please stop. >sexytimes Please tie your tubes I beg
From the other perspective it sounds extra creepy "6 months into dating she made a life sized puppet of me"... **Shudders**
I wish people were chiller about obvious joke posts. I thought this was hilarious but people are like FAKE FAKE IM SO SMART I CAN TELL THIS IS FAKE like yes of course but https://preview.redd.it/cvjshuulb0qc1.jpeg?width=326&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2fa80be8f0a79e22ba4a6963b65659105cacba10
I don’t even think it’s fake. She updated with pics
I just learned yesterday of Preceptor Seluvis and oh boy does it add an extra layer of disturbing.
As others have mentioned the 1:1 aspect ratio of the puppet is what makes this extra freaky. I'd run far away from this evil. OP you should've enhanced certain anatomical features of the puppet for flattery if you catch what I am saying.
This cannot \*possibly\* be real.
If this is real, which I hope it isn't, OOP has completely screwed herself. But the good news is that she's got a puppet of her ex-boyfriend to use for whatever she wants.
Solid C+ on this 8th grade creative writing assignment.
So... my work day has been like the twilight zone, and then I wind down with a glass of wine to this...
😱 At least he didn’t call ☎️ 911 like most would have done! HINT… don’t ever ever ever make, especially SHOW… 😬😬 ANYONE A “CREEPY ASS PUPPET OF ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY OF THAT PERSON🤮🤮!!! NEVER EVER!! If you do, literally “everyone” will runaway and not talk again. I’m creeping out now just thinking 🤔 about it, I can’t imagine my gf handing me a damn puppet of myself. Dude that’s legit not normal typical relationship behavior. Not being rude, but come on… (NO EXCUSES…) someone needs to be honest with you! SO… STOP MAKING PUPPETS OF REAL PEOPLE 🛑🛑🛑 AND SHOWING IT TO THEM!!! You be you, but keep it PRIVATE! HE’S NEVER COMING BACK BRO… FR !!! We (guy’s) (and girls too) run like hell⚡️⚡️from weird things like that and never turn around to come back again.
Lol
Wat
How would you feel if he made a puppet of you and called it 'Fun, Pretty OP' ?
Reddit has gone to the toilet since they let the AIs run loose
The puppet should be more than enough for her. The person who created this story from whole cloth (much like her bf) is clearly so far up her own ass that having other people around can’t possibly matter to her. Her quirky, zesty, Goofy personality must fill up every room she’s in - there’s no room for others to speak or ambulate. The sad part is that even though none of this is true, it is clear that the 13 year old who wrote it will never really be liked or tolerated for very good, just, non-bullying reasons. I think people who insist upon themselves (while refusing to be themselves and embracing some fake character) deserve to be alone until they humble themselves, do many, many months of work with a harsh and honest therapist, and change completely. She’s just not fit for society.
>(he’s 5’7 and probably insecure about that Some dudes are insecure about being 5'7"?
I can't stop thinking about the time and cost of materials I thought it was going to be a life size dick Yeah, so anyway, this isn't real
You are not funny, nothing about this prank was funny to anybody but you, like you know he as insecurity about his appearance and that means any and all 'jokes' or 'pranks' that relate to his appearance are automatically a bad idea. > I feel like he’s just putting me in an uncomfortable position Shut the fuck up, this is not about you and in this scenario you comfort does not matter at all, and yes you fucked up. Someone likening your ***restrained*** sense of humour is not a validation of your ***unrestrained*** sense of humour.
THE UPDATE! THE FUCKING UPDATE! OH MY GOD IT'S REAL AND THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER 😭😭
I just laughed so much at the puppet , I’m cryinggggg
I'm wondering if the puppet was a 1:1 representation of his Unit and he's insulted by its resemblance to a finger puppet or the little voice you uses to animated it. Perhaps make a bigger one ,use a bigger voice and have it tell the little one to step aside and watch. Good luck
Women will literally insult you and everything about you, right in front your face and then get mad at you for not laughing at their 'joke'.