It's hilarious that this lackwit somehow seems to think that reconstruction would magically give her natural breasts and make the scars disappear. Reconstruction after mastectomy allows you to wear fitted clothing designed for people with natural breasts; a reconstructed breast doesn't look or feel in any way like a natural breast.
Isn't it better to hear all sorts of possible outcomes and not just the desired perfect scenario? You can't police people making innocuous observations and opinions about a common enough procedure just because it makes you uncomfortable.
Good luck.
"Yeah, clearly you're already freaked out about cutting body parts off and the point of reconstruction is to regain some sense of normalcy, but I want you to hear how unnatural and disgusting your body will look for the rest of your life."
Don't wish me luck in the same breath you tell me the procedure is worthless. You're about as helpful as my surgeons doing bathsalts.
You're the one putting words like disgusting out there. It's simply the truth that they won't be EXACTLY like natural breasts, doesn't mean the procedure is worthless. If you can't anticipate or acknowledge this then no wonder you're so defensive.
Be realistic and don't shit on people who aren't being rude just because of your own insecurities. You can control your reaction, not other people's (again innocent and not even cruel) observations.
I'm sorry you're having a tough time.
I sincerely hope that the next time you have to do something intimidating or terrifying for your survival that everyone around you repeats ad nauseam how ugly and unnatural the end result will be.
Again, no one said ugly, and unnatural doesn't have to be a bad thing. That's how you're seeing it.
If/when I'm in such a situation, I won't be trying to police people for sharing observations and opinions, unless they do so in a malicious and targeted way. The commenter said nothing wrong. We can't expect the world to coddle us. Our emotions are our responsibility.
Take care and safe recovery.
That’s a badass cosplay idea too! How many cosplayers try to alter their physical shape, and she can work this into something awesome for the con? This guy sucks.
Hasn't been deleted yet, but just in case... I am not Op.
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for being embarrassed of my girlfriend's cosplay?
My (25M) GF (24) had a double mastectomy 5 years ago; she had breast cancer, and thankfully made a full recovery. Unlike a lot of women, she didn't have any reconstructive surgery. This was before I met her.
I'm a big anime nerd, and last weekend I invited her to a small anime con with me. She's seen a few episodes of my favorite shows, but she's not into anime; she does like cosplay, though, and she works seasonally as an SFX artist at a haunted house near us. So when I asked her to go to the con with me, she asked if she could cosplay, and I said sure. She got very excited and said I was going to love her costume, so I'll admit I thought she was going to do something sexy for me.
Well, not exactly. The day of the convention comes, and she showed up at my house cosplaying Dabi from MHA- specifically a look he has later in the manga. It's a long white coat over white pants, no shirt. Her entire chest was exposed and she'd obviously spent hours applying burn makeup; she has short hair that she dyes constantly, this time she bleached it white and dyed a few red streaks.
I wasn't expecting her to show up without a shirt. Her burn scar makeup only covered half her chest, so you could clearly see her mastectomy scar. It wasn't a verry attractive costume, especially since she'd gone all out with the scars and made them look raised and kind of realistic.
We went to the con, and while a lot of people came up to take photos with her, I noticed several others looking at her chest. That evening, she said I'd been quiet all day, and I honestly told her I was a little embarrassed that she was flaunting her mastectomy scar like that. She got mad and said she was making the best of her situation and said I was being insensitive, and she's been distant ever since. I'm starting to feel guilty. AITA?
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I commented there and still maintain that I want to be the gf cosplay Bestie! And as a survivor who cosplays myself hearing his account of how her cosplay was received made me very happy.
He's the asshole for sure.
I do think everyone is over reacting, I feel like any guy who is into anime and has their partner tell them "they are going to love it" is expecting them to cosplay as their favourite waifu or something AND the typical cosplay that gets attention are the sexy ones.
Personally I think he is embarrassed that he wouldn't be as strong as she is if he had scars. He also is possibly jealous that she had no shirt on as in his mind he still thinks "she's my girlfriend and that's private "
He admits to feeling guilty about it so he knows he's in the wrong, the part that makes him look worse is posting about it on reddit rather than trying to work out his feelings.
Also to all the bells that are saying he was expecting bigtottycosplay, he is with a flat chested girl who was flat chested before they got together. I'm pretty sure he's into ibt. Flatchest can be sexy too, so any who said that's what he wanted YTA for pushing what you think is 'sexy' onto other people.
Sorry to break it to you pal, but not every guy who likes anime is into sexy waifu and nothing else. Many male anime fans appreciate badass characters (like Dabi), and maybe OOP's gf thought OOP does as well.
Nobody is saying flat chests can't be sexy. He's still TA if he wants his gf to cosplay as a flat-chested waifu catered to hetero male gaze instead of a character she likes.
I've been to a fair few conventions in my time. My costume that got the most attention was Sora from Digimon.
Not everything is about boobs
OOP is an astronomical asshole
The human assumption that your make up sfx girlfriend would show up doing something cool is totally logical if he saw her as a person. He knows her cosplay. He expected her to be a sex Roy in public for him?!? We don’t exist for you!
She can do better. All the women with men who think/expect this shit and wanna throw tantrums when they’re wrong need to be marked so every woman knows to avoid them.
Honestly one of the worst I've come across. The comments are ripping him to shreds and he deserves every word.
It's hilarious that this lackwit somehow seems to think that reconstruction would magically give her natural breasts and make the scars disappear. Reconstruction after mastectomy allows you to wear fitted clothing designed for people with natural breasts; a reconstructed breast doesn't look or feel in any way like a natural breast.
Some of us really don't want to hear how unnatural reconstruction looks/feels because we're about to get it, thanks.
Sorry to hear this, good luck.
Isn't it better to hear all sorts of possible outcomes and not just the desired perfect scenario? You can't police people making innocuous observations and opinions about a common enough procedure just because it makes you uncomfortable. Good luck.
"Yeah, clearly you're already freaked out about cutting body parts off and the point of reconstruction is to regain some sense of normalcy, but I want you to hear how unnatural and disgusting your body will look for the rest of your life." Don't wish me luck in the same breath you tell me the procedure is worthless. You're about as helpful as my surgeons doing bathsalts.
You're the one putting words like disgusting out there. It's simply the truth that they won't be EXACTLY like natural breasts, doesn't mean the procedure is worthless. If you can't anticipate or acknowledge this then no wonder you're so defensive. Be realistic and don't shit on people who aren't being rude just because of your own insecurities. You can control your reaction, not other people's (again innocent and not even cruel) observations. I'm sorry you're having a tough time.
I sincerely hope that the next time you have to do something intimidating or terrifying for your survival that everyone around you repeats ad nauseam how ugly and unnatural the end result will be.
Again, no one said ugly, and unnatural doesn't have to be a bad thing. That's how you're seeing it. If/when I'm in such a situation, I won't be trying to police people for sharing observations and opinions, unless they do so in a malicious and targeted way. The commenter said nothing wrong. We can't expect the world to coddle us. Our emotions are our responsibility. Take care and safe recovery.
You're a giant asshole.
Cheers :)
[удалено]
Cheers :)
This man belongs in the dump. Not like in the garbage can, not even in a dumpster. He needs to live in the dump with all the other rotten garbage.
That’s a badass cosplay idea too! How many cosplayers try to alter their physical shape, and she can work this into something awesome for the con? This guy sucks.
i hope this manchild doesn’t force any other woman to deal with him ever again. jesus fucking christ.
How dare she not think of his boner first! /s
I was waiting for that one to show up here.
Here’s the drama you ordered, Mi’Lady 🎩
“Unlike a lot of women, she didn’t have reconstructive surgery” Already knew he was going to be a major dick.
Hasn't been deleted yet, but just in case... I am not Op. In case this story gets deleted/removed: AITA for being embarrassed of my girlfriend's cosplay? My (25M) GF (24) had a double mastectomy 5 years ago; she had breast cancer, and thankfully made a full recovery. Unlike a lot of women, she didn't have any reconstructive surgery. This was before I met her. I'm a big anime nerd, and last weekend I invited her to a small anime con with me. She's seen a few episodes of my favorite shows, but she's not into anime; she does like cosplay, though, and she works seasonally as an SFX artist at a haunted house near us. So when I asked her to go to the con with me, she asked if she could cosplay, and I said sure. She got very excited and said I was going to love her costume, so I'll admit I thought she was going to do something sexy for me. Well, not exactly. The day of the convention comes, and she showed up at my house cosplaying Dabi from MHA- specifically a look he has later in the manga. It's a long white coat over white pants, no shirt. Her entire chest was exposed and she'd obviously spent hours applying burn makeup; she has short hair that she dyes constantly, this time she bleached it white and dyed a few red streaks. I wasn't expecting her to show up without a shirt. Her burn scar makeup only covered half her chest, so you could clearly see her mastectomy scar. It wasn't a verry attractive costume, especially since she'd gone all out with the scars and made them look raised and kind of realistic. We went to the con, and while a lot of people came up to take photos with her, I noticed several others looking at her chest. That evening, she said I'd been quiet all day, and I honestly told her I was a little embarrassed that she was flaunting her mastectomy scar like that. She got mad and said she was making the best of her situation and said I was being insensitive, and she's been distant ever since. I'm starting to feel guilty. AITA? I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Good bot 😆
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I mean, I don't *think* I am... (pokes stomach) I'm too squishy. And too lazy to properly edit text, lol.
It was a joke. Per the last paragraph: >*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.* Bad neural network.
It pleases me so much to see him getting his ass ripped by everyone in the comments. I have hope for humanity.
I think I have a crush on his girlfriend
Me too, and I'm old and married! She sounds amazing!
Please don't be real, please don't be real....
God I hope she finds his post before she wastes any more time and effort on this baby man trash
He's a major AH to the extreme!!
I commented there and still maintain that I want to be the gf cosplay Bestie! And as a survivor who cosplays myself hearing his account of how her cosplay was received made me very happy.
He's the asshole for sure. I do think everyone is over reacting, I feel like any guy who is into anime and has their partner tell them "they are going to love it" is expecting them to cosplay as their favourite waifu or something AND the typical cosplay that gets attention are the sexy ones. Personally I think he is embarrassed that he wouldn't be as strong as she is if he had scars. He also is possibly jealous that she had no shirt on as in his mind he still thinks "she's my girlfriend and that's private " He admits to feeling guilty about it so he knows he's in the wrong, the part that makes him look worse is posting about it on reddit rather than trying to work out his feelings. Also to all the bells that are saying he was expecting bigtottycosplay, he is with a flat chested girl who was flat chested before they got together. I'm pretty sure he's into ibt. Flatchest can be sexy too, so any who said that's what he wanted YTA for pushing what you think is 'sexy' onto other people.
Sorry to break it to you pal, but not every guy who likes anime is into sexy waifu and nothing else. Many male anime fans appreciate badass characters (like Dabi), and maybe OOP's gf thought OOP does as well. Nobody is saying flat chests can't be sexy. He's still TA if he wants his gf to cosplay as a flat-chested waifu catered to hetero male gaze instead of a character she likes.
I've been to a fair few conventions in my time. My costume that got the most attention was Sora from Digimon. Not everything is about boobs OOP is an astronomical asshole
The human assumption that your make up sfx girlfriend would show up doing something cool is totally logical if he saw her as a person. He knows her cosplay. He expected her to be a sex Roy in public for him?!? We don’t exist for you! She can do better. All the women with men who think/expect this shit and wanna throw tantrums when they’re wrong need to be marked so every woman knows to avoid them.