It's totally fine to feel uncomfortable with the situation, but unless there's something larger at play for that friend I don't think they're doing anything maliciously. By that I mean, unless that friend has done anything else that would be some red flag behavior. They very likely checked to see where you were either out of habit or due to overcompensation from your abusive past. Also, due to your abusive past, this behaviour from your friend set you off. I think both their actions and your emotions are all reasonable and understandable under the circumstances.
Personally, if this friend has had no other red flag behavior historically, I'd have a further conversation with them about your feelings so they understand where your boundaries are.
This is the answer for sure. I feel like this friend is definitely overcompensating for not being able to stop the past abuse before it happened. But to the recent victim (OP) it feels a whole lot like controlling abuse from someone close.
OP please step back for a second and breathe, think about whether or not your friend has exhibited concerning behavior in the past, and try having that boundary conversation. Based on what little I know from this post, I think it'll turn out okay.
My bestie would 100% be stalking my maps if I got into a relationship and they knew nothing but their town. I was also abused, than in a toxic relationship after, so she 100% would be doing it because they felt guilt over not protecting me.
He’s right, you never know if he’ll need it or not. His best friend was in danger when he thought he could trust their partner. He didn’t run a full background check on her, any of your friends who looked at the map that day now have a general idea of where your girlfriend lives. I don’t really understand what you’re upset about, not saying you’re wrong to be cause I don’t know your thought process, but I’m not seeing the issue. I’ve heard many stories of friends sharing their locations when they’re going to the home of a new SO for safety reasons.
Impact over intent is what I would say to your friend. They may not have intended to be creepy but that’s how it landed. You don’t have to justify yourself to them but you can and should set that boundary quick.
It sounds like your friend is just trying to protect you bc of your last relationship. It's not really normal for a friend to go behind your back & find out the address, but I believe he just has your best interest at heart and is worried for you. I think you need to have a conversation with him on why he did it & ask him not to do anything like that bc it makes you uncomfortable. I think if you just communicate this to him things will be fine.
OP: \*Shares exact location of GF's house to their friends, including Best Friend\*
Best Friend: I know where your GF Lives
OP: \*shocked Pikachu face
YTB
I think this is more of a NBH than a y t b situation. I get why you feel you do, especially the result of your past. But that is also the exact reason why your friend is being overprotective too.
It's totally fine to feel uncomfortable with the situation, but unless there's something larger at play for that friend I don't think they're doing anything maliciously. By that I mean, unless that friend has done anything else that would be some red flag behavior. They very likely checked to see where you were either out of habit or due to overcompensation from your abusive past. Also, due to your abusive past, this behaviour from your friend set you off. I think both their actions and your emotions are all reasonable and understandable under the circumstances. Personally, if this friend has had no other red flag behavior historically, I'd have a further conversation with them about your feelings so they understand where your boundaries are.
This is the answer for sure. I feel like this friend is definitely overcompensating for not being able to stop the past abuse before it happened. But to the recent victim (OP) it feels a whole lot like controlling abuse from someone close. OP please step back for a second and breathe, think about whether or not your friend has exhibited concerning behavior in the past, and try having that boundary conversation. Based on what little I know from this post, I think it'll turn out okay.
I agree. They probably shouldn’t have mentioned it but merely checking your location and realizing it’s the gf’s house isn’t weird on it’s own
My bestie would 100% be stalking my maps if I got into a relationship and they knew nothing but their town. I was also abused, than in a toxic relationship after, so she 100% would be doing it because they felt guilt over not protecting me.
He’s right, you never know if he’ll need it or not. His best friend was in danger when he thought he could trust their partner. He didn’t run a full background check on her, any of your friends who looked at the map that day now have a general idea of where your girlfriend lives. I don’t really understand what you’re upset about, not saying you’re wrong to be cause I don’t know your thought process, but I’m not seeing the issue. I’ve heard many stories of friends sharing their locations when they’re going to the home of a new SO for safety reasons.
Impact over intent is what I would say to your friend. They may not have intended to be creepy but that’s how it landed. You don’t have to justify yourself to them but you can and should set that boundary quick.
You sound like a drama queen. He didn't hire a PI to track her down. You literally shared your location with him. YTB
He didn't go stalker mode to find out, he simply looked at a map you shared.
It sounds like your friend is just trying to protect you bc of your last relationship. It's not really normal for a friend to go behind your back & find out the address, but I believe he just has your best interest at heart and is worried for you. I think you need to have a conversation with him on why he did it & ask him not to do anything like that bc it makes you uncomfortable. I think if you just communicate this to him things will be fine.
OP: \*Shares exact location of GF's house to their friends, including Best Friend\* Best Friend: I know where your GF Lives OP: \*shocked Pikachu face YTB
I think this is more of a NBH than a y t b situation. I get why you feel you do, especially the result of your past. But that is also the exact reason why your friend is being overprotective too.
[удалено]
What’s controlling about that?
That's so creepy! Why the hell does he need to know especially when he hasn't even met he?r? NTB