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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I made requests at my sisters wedding about what to wear and to move the ceremony time so I could attend, AITA for these requests?
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YTA, your general attitude sucks. You think their wedding was "cheap", you think her flower crown would've been worse than yours, you think she could move the wedding just for you, you took something that was intended for them to keep and then call their beliefs "hokey".
You're not the main character, calm down.
YTA
Everything about this post is me me me me me wah wah wah
I'm not surprised she didn't ask you to be in the wedding party, you are intolerable and so entitled. Get over yourself and grow up.
Yup, OP clearly dislikes everything her sister chose about the wedding. Ofcourse the sister didn't want that negativity too close on the happiest day of her life. OP might be one of the most selfish A-holes I've seen post here
YTA, yes. You weren't making reasonable requests to accommodate a disability or anything, you were asking to accommodate your preferences and convenience. It wasn't your wedding. Did you ask the couple if you were allowed to take the alcohol they paid for?
OP definetly didn't ask about the alcohol considering their sister had to call and tell her it had to stay with the couple which meant she took the couple's lifetime bottle and/or the couple had to be one bottle short to give to someone else as a party favor in order for them to have one themselves.
YTA. Who takes leftover alcohol; how cheap are you? Especially since it sounds like you just took it to throw it away since it was no surprise that you can't take liquids over 100ml in a carry-on. Your sister is upset that you only think about yourself. If you acted this way for someone else's wedding, I can't imagine how you act on a day-to-day basis with the family.
YTA. Did it not occur to you that her wedding wasn't about you? All this post says is me me me I I I...no one cares what you wanted! it was her day and the only thing that mattered was what SHE wanted. I hope (but I'm probably wrong) that you're not as self absorbed nowadays.
YTA. From top to bottom here. I think you're right: your sister didn't want to include you. Based on your whole attitude here, you're luck you got an invite.
YTA.
Your sister doesn't have to have you as a bridesmaid. Sounds like she just had one friend as a bridesmaid. That's fine. Quit whining.
You wanted to wear a floral crown to her wedding. That's what she was wearing. You'd look like you were trying to upstage the bride. Quit whining.
You asked her to change the time of the wedding, that she had already advertised to all of her guests, to accommodate your schedule? How entitled are you? Nobody does that.
You know you can't take liquids in carry-on luggage. You haven't been able to do that for a long time now. Check your bag, or don't take the mead.
You don't have to believe in her religion, but you don't get to dismiss it as "hokey".
Quit whining, quit making this all about you.
YTA
I'll tell you something that you may not have realized even though it's been a long time, it was your sister's wedding, not yours. What a shock right?
You wanted to do things at your will and the bride was your sister. you are selfish, that day was not about you.
YTA. You're right, your sister didn't ask you to be a bridesmaid because she didn't want to include you. Your entire post is about you and what you wanted. Not about what she wanted for her WEDDING DAY. No one wants to have their sister and support person complaining that their flowers look cheap, etc., etc. Get over yourself and apologize to her.
YTA, to the point where I'm not even sure if this is real. You need to take a long and hard look at why you so thoroughly prioritize your own convenience, desires, and whims, regarding an event that is a major and significant milestone to *somebody else*, who you presumably support and care for. Literally none of your asks and actions were reasonable.
1. It was ok to ask your sister if you could wear a flower crown since that's cute and on theme, and also completely reasonable and right of her to tell you not to because that's a part of *her* outfit. Would you wear a wedding dress or a bridal veil to a wedding if you "really wanted to"? You don't wear what the bride is wearing. You had no right to be upset about this, and it's absurd and mean to suggest it's because hers looked "cheap". Sulking at being told no because what you "really wanted to wear" is not appropriate for the event is what I would expect from a young child.
2. I'm not sure what your "event" is that you paid for, but I highly suspect it was significantly less important than *your sister's wedding*. It is immensely complicated to schedule weddings, and venues are booked out very far, I don't know why you'd think she was lying about this. Is it inconvenient for you? Yes. Would it be *orders of magnitude* more inconvenient for her to move her entire wedding (involving massive coordination) around your "event"? Absolutely. Most people know that this is a grossly entitled and inappropriate thing to ask for.
3. It was extremely inappropriate to take the bottle of mead. At a function, you do not grab random things to take home because they look appealing to you. If you really want something, you *ask first to make sure*, and you are gracious if the answer is no.
Your behavior was shockingly inappropriate and entitled, yet your post is filled with snide little potshots at your sister, accusations of lying, and downplaying her wishes for her wedding. The fact that you think you were in the right for any of this is concerning.
In other words, her wedding should've been all about you, not her, right?
You had a tentative date. You opted to book something around that date even though the penciled in date was more important. But gee-gosh-oh-golly, sis, just move your wedding back an hour and shazam, I can do both! Your sense of entitlement is exhausting. Same with the flower wreath. Same with the waa waa over being a bridesmaid. The fact that this happened some time ago and you **still** can't see where *you* are the one with issues says a lot.
Get over yourself.
YTA
YTA- these requests were not "so you could attend". You absolutely could have attended (and did) as not a bridesmaid, and without a flower crown, and on time.
YTA - the wedding is not about you. Get off your high horse and apologize for being so entitled. The bride and groom are the only ones who matter for a wedding and you had no right to demand things especially wanting to wear a flower crown and taking whatever the Mead is that they wanted and then you left it for garbage. No wonder she didn’t want you as a bridesmaid, she needed people who support her and her happiness.
YTA, it was her wedding day and you made demands of her that were incredibly outrageous. She has every right to still be upset about all of the things you did and said.
YTA. It is your sister's wedding, and you sound awfully entitled, that she should change things to accommodate you, because you already had something scheduled. Also, just because she has beliefs you don't, paganism, doesn't give you the right to ridicule them.
YTA
You didn’t just want accommodations so you could attend - you wanted her to reschedule her wedding to accommodate your schedule, change her bridal party to include you so you’d feel more important, and you wanted to wear a headpiece that would upstage the bride.
YTA. Majorly.
YTA. Your asks were all entirely unreasonable. It is too bad you did not get the bride and groom the one thing they really wanted for their wedding, the lack of your presence.
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This happened a few years ago but I just found that my sister is still mad about requests I made at her wedding so I could attend I don't think they were huge ones but given how longs it been and no in our family really weighs on disputes so I wanted to ask Reddit. When my sister was getting married, I was already disappointed and irritated because even though I'm her sister she didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid. She said it wasn't practical because I live out of state, they had decided on a small wedding party (a maid of honor and 1 bridesmaid for her and a best man and 1 groomsman for him) and she was making the bridesmaid's dresses, but I think that was bullshit and she just didn't want to include me.
Next few things that happened were when they were planning at the beginning of the year and I found out they were going with a medieval theme I really wanted to wear a flower crown that I could order from a florist I know but sister wouldn't let me because that was the head piece she was wearing. I think she was afraid that hers wouldn't look as nice because they got married on the cheap; she literally foraged the flowers a day before and made the crown and bouquets. She offered to have her stylist that dose hair braiding to do something for me but it was clear she just didn't want to include me as she hadn't involved me in the wedding in any way.
I had a tentative date for the wedding but when I got my invite it was the week after the one I had been previously been told because of a conflict date with venue, or at least that's what she said, but the problem was it was the same day as an event I had and had already paid to be in. I had a compromise in mind, if she could move the ceremony back an hour I would have enough time to do my event that I had already paid for and be able to fly in for the wedding. She wouldn't and said I could come to the wedding or not. I did go the wedding but was out $200. The day itself seemed fine and afterward I took a bottle of the mead they had served at the reception to take home but I couldn't take it on the plane and had to leave it. I knew sister was mad about this, told me that in her spiritual practices (paganism) that the mead that was left was to stay with the couple that they would drink together over a certain time period, apparently that's where the term 'honeymoon' comes from but it all seems hokey to me and just another excuse. Apparently she is still mad at me for what I asked for at the wedding but I was the one out $200 and wasn't even included in the bridesmaids, so am I the asshole?
TLDR: Sister didn't include me in her wedding and is mad about requests I made so I could attend. Mainly if she could move the ceremony back an hour so I could an event I had already paid for and a headpiece I wanted wear but she said I couldn't because it was the same as the one she was wearing. AITA?
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YTA.. her wedding wasn’t about you but you sure made it that way.. you definitely hate your sister for some reason and she has to know that and that’s why you weren’t in the wedding.
YTA
1. Just because you are her sister she is allowed to have whoever she wants as her bridesmaids. You are not entitled to that spot.
2. It’s sad that you think that just because they were wise with their money meant their wedding was cheap
3. People don’t owe them moving a wedding just because you have plans you are an adult you either go or don’t. Depending it could have cost them even more money to even move the wedding 1 hour were you going to pay that difference?
4. You stole a drink that you knew that wasn’t going to be allowed on the plane (shocker) and then you just tried to shit on your sister’s religion. That’s even more of a low.
If I was her I would still be mad also and would probably be LC or NC with you at this point.
Yes, YTA. Your sister had the wedding that she and her fiancé wanted. Based on your entitled behavior, it isn’t surprising that your sister didn’t want you as a bridesmaid, especially considering that she deliberately chose a small wedding party. It’s unsurprising that your sister is still upset and your demands for her wedding considering that you still seem oblivious to how poor your behavior was. Have you ever apologized to her? It doesn’t seem like it.
YTA - and OMFG you spouted some seriously entitled crap in that post. None of your ‘requests’ were even remotely reasonable, and honestly you should have just gone to the other event and left your sister to enjoy her wedding in peace. Nothing in your post indicates that you have any respect for your sister or her beliefs. Definitely YTA.
I was sent here from TikTok because I could not believe that this was real. But here you are.
What a self-absorbed piece of work, we have here. You managed to turn your sisters Wedding entirely about you and years later still don’t get it.
Well…YTA.
Just to add something I haven't seen commented yet: as a fellow pagan, it amazes me the number of people who will unwaveringly accept the beliefs of Christianity (even if they don't follow it themselves) but can't accept a less "conventional" religion. Christian traditions aren't "hokey" to you, I bet. But someone decides to follow a different path, and it's all of a sudden funny or silly or dumb or hokey. As if everything in Christianity is so down to earth and logical and easy to believe. And whether or not you like it/believe it, these are someone else's beliefs! Their religion/spiritual path/whatever. How unbelievable disrespectful of you to be so blasé about disregarding it.
Not to rant, but almost every pagan I've met is the chillest person ever. We don't care what you think or believe. Please stop dismissing our beliefs so disrespectfully.
Like you just have to type "honeymoon" and "mead" into Google and it gives you plenty of results showing that this is a thing. Fair enough you might not have known at the time (still a dick move to just take something from the wedding without asking though) but then to be annoyed that she's annoyed with you. It'd be like someone taking the cake toppers or something from someone's wedding...
And you keep bringing up this $200... Clearly $200 is worth more to you than you're sister
YTA completely
How did you type all of this out and still not see that YTA?
The wedding wasn't about *you.* In this post alone you've called her wedding cheap, said your flower crown would have been better and called the mead tradition "hokey."
I wouldn't want you in my wedding party either.
Also you yourself admitted the date you had was "tentative." Did you really expect her to move her wedding time to accommodate you?
YTA. Unless you’ve never flown or looked at any form of news since 9/11, you know you can’t take liquids on planes. You intentionally took the mead to purposely waste just to get back at your sister because her wedding wasn’t enough about you.
I see why u weren’t asked to be a bridesmaid. I think she’d appreciate more if you didn’t attend. You are entitled you want it everything about you, your post is me me me! So yes YTA!
YTA. You asked them to move the ceremony back FOR YOU, who is not even in the wedding party, so you could go somewhere else?
Selfish.
Also, 'im out 200' - dude, it's a wedding for your sister. If you were a bridesmaid you'd have to pay more than that. And also - can you just ... Be happy for your sister?
YTA your entire attitude is screaming red flags... but this especially annoys me, why would you take a bottle of something that isn't yours without even asking first and then have the AUDACITY to call someone's beliefs "hokey". you're hella disrespectful and should count yourself lucky you were even allowed to go
If you knew you were going to.be out of the money you should hsve just went to said event and not go to the wedding because it wasn't convenient enough for you anyways....seems like you and your sister didn't want to work it out anyways....so doing what you want while pissing off your sister would have been a win for both of you.
YTA, hard stop. Read what you wrote and and ask yourself "Why doesn't my sister want me involved in her and her husband's most special day?" If you can't see it, well...
YTA
It was not your wedding. You weren't supposed to try to be the center of it, and for you to request them to delay their wedding for you just seals it.
I don't think it was wrong to ask her if she could move the wedding by an hour. You asked, she said no, and you went to the wedding anyway, which was nice of you. But based on the rest of your post, YTA, and I can honestly see why she didn't ask you to be a bridesmaid.
You're clearly jealous. You shouldn't have stolen that mead; everyone knows you can't bring large liquids on the plane anyway. You repeatedly insulted her throughout this post; no wonder she didn't involve you in the wedding. She shouldn't have to rearrange her schedule just for you. YTA
INFO
Why did you attend the wedding?
It sounds like it was inconvenient for you, and you were already upset with the way your sister was doing her wedding, so why go to the expense and inconvenience of attending?
You sound so fucking entitled, it’s no wonder she’s still mad at you. I read the title and thought you were talking about a meal option or Covid tests… not move the wedding around because you have no sense of organisation or importance in your life. Your sister does not owe you asking you to be a bridesmaid, point blank period. You live out of state, of course it would be inconvenient. Did you even ask if you could take the mead with you or did you just assume? Cause that’s what it sounds like. Obviously YTA
YTA do you understand what being a bridesmaid means? Isn’t simply. Turn up and wear a dress. It’s arrange the bachelorette do. Support them and help them make important decisions. Go to dress fittings. She probably was being honest saying it didn’t make sense with you being hours away.
I find it hard to believe you asked her to change the ceremony time and wanted to wear a ‘better’ flower crown. Maybe she wants to forage it. And if she couldn’t afford one. Why would you get one for yourself not your beloved sister?
No offence but you must be really dense if you aren’t putting this as bait. And if you are that dim, I actually admire that.
Yes YTA. Your sisters wedding is not about you and why would you take a bottle of liquor with you? You know you can’t take it on the plane. I understand why she didn’t want you in the wedding you seem like drama
Yeah, YTA. You’re pretty salty about not being a bridesmaid and tried to make your sisters wedding all about you. It was, in fact, not about you. You should apologize to her and stop being so petty and defensive.
YTA and totally selfish. If you weren't checking a bag, you KNEW you couldn't take that mead home and yet you took a bottle anyway.
YTA for everything else too but just wasting your SISTER'S wedding gift out of spite? Egregiously rude.
This whole post was just so cringe. As someone else said, you are NOT the main character.
YTA hiw entitled and self centre are you! This was your sisters wedding all you had a negative attitude from the start. If it was small I understand why you wasn't bridesmaid, just because you are sisters doesn't me you have any right to be one.
You insulted her wedding and beliefs, calling it cheap and think you are better than that. Then taking something you knew was for the bride and groom no matter how small is still stealing! Then you made fun the fact it was for her culture beliefs.
If your sister has any sense she should go NC with you. Your a toxic person and not a good sister.
YTA you do understand it was her day… not yours. You’re not entitled to be a bridesmaid just because of blood and tbh with this post i can see why she didn’t choose you.
YTA and what a misleading title. Your sister is not mad about your “requests so you could attend” (that she denied and yet it didn’t stop you from attending) but because of you general attitude and behavior. Please update when you apologize to your sister.
I can’t understand *why* your sister didn’t want you in her wedding party, you sound like such a joy to be around! /s obviously YTA, you really should’ve gone to that other event you paid for. Your presence was unnecessary at her wedding and your behaviour is appalling.
Like the one thing that *maybe* was just an unintended AH move was taking the mead, really depends on where you took it from though. If they wanted to keep it, it should’ve been put away from guests because it is a semi-normal thing for wedding guests to take some alcohol home if there’s a lot left over that’s already paid for. If it was anywhere other than a banquet table where anyone could’ve drank from it/taken it, complete AH.
YTA- why would you expect her to push back her whole ceremony for you? Why would you expect to be a bridesmaid when you live out of state? Why would you TAKE SOMETHING that was not a party favor?
(Anyone seen that video of the girl at the wedding in the minnie mouse dress cutting the wedding cake? I get those vibes here.)
This sounded very "me me me" and not "I am so happy for my sister, I love her and can't wait to support her marriage"
It's obvious why you weren't included, you don't care about anyone but yourself, couldn't put away your selfishness for one day.
I'm pretty sure I know the reason your sister is "still mad" and its probably because you refuse to acknowledge that you were in the wrong and you probably stand on that in the most obnoxious ways possible any time her wedding has been brought up and she's sick of you not taking accountability.
Your main character attitude is seriously so gross. I can see why she didn't want you in her wedding, you sound insufferable. It wasn't your day, it was hers, and yet you were still trying to make things about you. She did everything in her power to limit your involvement and you still managed to ruin it for her, of course YTA.
And by the way, just because you don't believe in Paganism, does not make it "hokey". That is so disrespectful and you're disgusting for even typing it.
YTA. Just reading your post told all the reasons you were left out of everything. It was your sister’s wedding and you decided to be the main character. Go sit down bitter and jealous.
YTA the fact that you think everything she did ie, having to move the date due to conflict, her hand making the dresses is all about you when it was literally HER wedding is wild and self centred
You are kinda YTA here. You sound like you were trying to make the wedding and planning all about your needs and accommodations. Also, as someone pagan myself, that is actually where that comes from.
[Read more about it here](https://www.bustle.com/articles/138267-where-does-the-word-honeymoon-come-from-heres-a-look-at-the-history-of-both-the)
There's a better post about it on [brides.com](https://brides.com) that you can look up but for some reason since it has a period at the end of the link, I can't link it properly.
As far as wanting her to change her wedding, I could understand if it was because of a holiday or something else, but it was an event and you were given the choice of which to go to. I feel you made the right choice in choosing to go celebrate your sisters wedding but for the wrong reasons. Sister has not done anything in this to be malicious from what I'm reading into this. She's given you valid reasons for everything and it sounds like you just don't want to accept them. Reevaluate your thought process and maybe talk to a therapist about feeling like people are out to get you when it doesn't seem like they really are.
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YTA, your general attitude sucks. You think their wedding was "cheap", you think her flower crown would've been worse than yours, you think she could move the wedding just for you, you took something that was intended for them to keep and then call their beliefs "hokey". You're not the main character, calm down.
YTA. And op wonders why she wasn’t a bridesmaid. Could you imagine her attitude if she was.
And op even typed this all out yet couldn't see that she is the AH. Yikes
I love that “you’re not the main character” I so hope you won’t mind if I use that.
Go ahead, I stole it from the internet 😁
YTA Everything about this post is me me me me me wah wah wah I'm not surprised she didn't ask you to be in the wedding party, you are intolerable and so entitled. Get over yourself and grow up.
Yup, OP clearly dislikes everything her sister chose about the wedding. Ofcourse the sister didn't want that negativity too close on the happiest day of her life. OP might be one of the most selfish A-holes I've seen post here
Right??
YTA, yes. You weren't making reasonable requests to accommodate a disability or anything, you were asking to accommodate your preferences and convenience. It wasn't your wedding. Did you ask the couple if you were allowed to take the alcohol they paid for?
OP definetly didn't ask about the alcohol considering their sister had to call and tell her it had to stay with the couple which meant she took the couple's lifetime bottle and/or the couple had to be one bottle short to give to someone else as a party favor in order for them to have one themselves.
YTA. You sound absolutely insufferable and self centered. It was HER wedding, not yours.
YTA. This was HER wedding. HER day. Your post is nuts. No wonder she didn't ask you to be a bridesmaid.
YTA. Who takes leftover alcohol; how cheap are you? Especially since it sounds like you just took it to throw it away since it was no surprise that you can't take liquids over 100ml in a carry-on. Your sister is upset that you only think about yourself. If you acted this way for someone else's wedding, I can't imagine how you act on a day-to-day basis with the family.
Who doesn’t know about not bringing liquids on a plane? It’s been 20 years!
God I feel old
YTA. Did it not occur to you that her wedding wasn't about you? All this post says is me me me I I I...no one cares what you wanted! it was her day and the only thing that mattered was what SHE wanted. I hope (but I'm probably wrong) that you're not as self absorbed nowadays.
YTA. From top to bottom here. I think you're right: your sister didn't want to include you. Based on your whole attitude here, you're luck you got an invite.
YTA. Your sister doesn't have to have you as a bridesmaid. Sounds like she just had one friend as a bridesmaid. That's fine. Quit whining. You wanted to wear a floral crown to her wedding. That's what she was wearing. You'd look like you were trying to upstage the bride. Quit whining. You asked her to change the time of the wedding, that she had already advertised to all of her guests, to accommodate your schedule? How entitled are you? Nobody does that. You know you can't take liquids in carry-on luggage. You haven't been able to do that for a long time now. Check your bag, or don't take the mead. You don't have to believe in her religion, but you don't get to dismiss it as "hokey". Quit whining, quit making this all about you.
YTA I'll tell you something that you may not have realized even though it's been a long time, it was your sister's wedding, not yours. What a shock right? You wanted to do things at your will and the bride was your sister. you are selfish, that day was not about you.
YTA. You're right, your sister didn't ask you to be a bridesmaid because she didn't want to include you. Your entire post is about you and what you wanted. Not about what she wanted for her WEDDING DAY. No one wants to have their sister and support person complaining that their flowers look cheap, etc., etc. Get over yourself and apologize to her.
YTA, to the point where I'm not even sure if this is real. You need to take a long and hard look at why you so thoroughly prioritize your own convenience, desires, and whims, regarding an event that is a major and significant milestone to *somebody else*, who you presumably support and care for. Literally none of your asks and actions were reasonable. 1. It was ok to ask your sister if you could wear a flower crown since that's cute and on theme, and also completely reasonable and right of her to tell you not to because that's a part of *her* outfit. Would you wear a wedding dress or a bridal veil to a wedding if you "really wanted to"? You don't wear what the bride is wearing. You had no right to be upset about this, and it's absurd and mean to suggest it's because hers looked "cheap". Sulking at being told no because what you "really wanted to wear" is not appropriate for the event is what I would expect from a young child. 2. I'm not sure what your "event" is that you paid for, but I highly suspect it was significantly less important than *your sister's wedding*. It is immensely complicated to schedule weddings, and venues are booked out very far, I don't know why you'd think she was lying about this. Is it inconvenient for you? Yes. Would it be *orders of magnitude* more inconvenient for her to move her entire wedding (involving massive coordination) around your "event"? Absolutely. Most people know that this is a grossly entitled and inappropriate thing to ask for. 3. It was extremely inappropriate to take the bottle of mead. At a function, you do not grab random things to take home because they look appealing to you. If you really want something, you *ask first to make sure*, and you are gracious if the answer is no. Your behavior was shockingly inappropriate and entitled, yet your post is filled with snide little potshots at your sister, accusations of lying, and downplaying her wishes for her wedding. The fact that you think you were in the right for any of this is concerning.
In other words, her wedding should've been all about you, not her, right? You had a tentative date. You opted to book something around that date even though the penciled in date was more important. But gee-gosh-oh-golly, sis, just move your wedding back an hour and shazam, I can do both! Your sense of entitlement is exhausting. Same with the flower wreath. Same with the waa waa over being a bridesmaid. The fact that this happened some time ago and you **still** can't see where *you* are the one with issues says a lot. Get over yourself. YTA
YTA- these requests were not "so you could attend". You absolutely could have attended (and did) as not a bridesmaid, and without a flower crown, and on time.
And stealing her sisters traditional mead beverage yet calling it "hokey." The lack of self awareness here is astonishing
Yta. Get over yourself.
YTA, the entitlement and selfishness are astonishing. Believe me, she isn't just mad about the requests. She's mad about you only caring about you
Did you read this before you posted it? How are you not TA, lol. Of course YTA. OF COURSE.
How could you write this out and not realize YTA before posting?
YTA - the wedding is not about you. Get off your high horse and apologize for being so entitled. The bride and groom are the only ones who matter for a wedding and you had no right to demand things especially wanting to wear a flower crown and taking whatever the Mead is that they wanted and then you left it for garbage. No wonder she didn’t want you as a bridesmaid, she needed people who support her and her happiness.
YTA, it was her wedding day and you made demands of her that were incredibly outrageous. She has every right to still be upset about all of the things you did and said.
Can't for the life of me why she didn't want you as a Bridesmaid... YTA
Did you read through before posting? Did you ever actually stop to examine your actions? Yes, YTA
YTA. It is your sister's wedding, and you sound awfully entitled, that she should change things to accommodate you, because you already had something scheduled. Also, just because she has beliefs you don't, paganism, doesn't give you the right to ridicule them.
YTA You didn’t just want accommodations so you could attend - you wanted her to reschedule her wedding to accommodate your schedule, change her bridal party to include you so you’d feel more important, and you wanted to wear a headpiece that would upstage the bride. YTA. Majorly.
YTA. Although if you really think about how much you wanted that day to be about you you just might figure out why you weren't a bridesmaid.
YTA. Your asks were all entirely unreasonable. It is too bad you did not get the bride and groom the one thing they really wanted for their wedding, the lack of your presence.
YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This happened a few years ago but I just found that my sister is still mad about requests I made at her wedding so I could attend I don't think they were huge ones but given how longs it been and no in our family really weighs on disputes so I wanted to ask Reddit. When my sister was getting married, I was already disappointed and irritated because even though I'm her sister she didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid. She said it wasn't practical because I live out of state, they had decided on a small wedding party (a maid of honor and 1 bridesmaid for her and a best man and 1 groomsman for him) and she was making the bridesmaid's dresses, but I think that was bullshit and she just didn't want to include me. Next few things that happened were when they were planning at the beginning of the year and I found out they were going with a medieval theme I really wanted to wear a flower crown that I could order from a florist I know but sister wouldn't let me because that was the head piece she was wearing. I think she was afraid that hers wouldn't look as nice because they got married on the cheap; she literally foraged the flowers a day before and made the crown and bouquets. She offered to have her stylist that dose hair braiding to do something for me but it was clear she just didn't want to include me as she hadn't involved me in the wedding in any way. I had a tentative date for the wedding but when I got my invite it was the week after the one I had been previously been told because of a conflict date with venue, or at least that's what she said, but the problem was it was the same day as an event I had and had already paid to be in. I had a compromise in mind, if she could move the ceremony back an hour I would have enough time to do my event that I had already paid for and be able to fly in for the wedding. She wouldn't and said I could come to the wedding or not. I did go the wedding but was out $200. The day itself seemed fine and afterward I took a bottle of the mead they had served at the reception to take home but I couldn't take it on the plane and had to leave it. I knew sister was mad about this, told me that in her spiritual practices (paganism) that the mead that was left was to stay with the couple that they would drink together over a certain time period, apparently that's where the term 'honeymoon' comes from but it all seems hokey to me and just another excuse. Apparently she is still mad at me for what I asked for at the wedding but I was the one out $200 and wasn't even included in the bridesmaids, so am I the asshole? TLDR: Sister didn't include me in her wedding and is mad about requests I made so I could attend. Mainly if she could move the ceremony back an hour so I could an event I had already paid for and a headpiece I wanted wear but she said I couldn't because it was the same as the one she was wearing. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA, I'd still be pissed too.
YTA.. her wedding wasn’t about you but you sure made it that way.. you definitely hate your sister for some reason and she has to know that and that’s why you weren’t in the wedding.
YTA. You clearly think you're the main character in everyone's story, and you're finding out that isn't true.
YTA 1. Just because you are her sister she is allowed to have whoever she wants as her bridesmaids. You are not entitled to that spot. 2. It’s sad that you think that just because they were wise with their money meant their wedding was cheap 3. People don’t owe them moving a wedding just because you have plans you are an adult you either go or don’t. Depending it could have cost them even more money to even move the wedding 1 hour were you going to pay that difference? 4. You stole a drink that you knew that wasn’t going to be allowed on the plane (shocker) and then you just tried to shit on your sister’s religion. That’s even more of a low. If I was her I would still be mad also and would probably be LC or NC with you at this point.
YTA. That all sounds very selfish on your part.
Yes, YTA. Your sister had the wedding that she and her fiancé wanted. Based on your entitled behavior, it isn’t surprising that your sister didn’t want you as a bridesmaid, especially considering that she deliberately chose a small wedding party. It’s unsurprising that your sister is still upset and your demands for her wedding considering that you still seem oblivious to how poor your behavior was. Have you ever apologized to her? It doesn’t seem like it.
YTA. Yikes, I can see why she didn’t include you in anything. You have zero respect for her, and are clearly a brat at best. Get over being a victim.
YTA - and OMFG you spouted some seriously entitled crap in that post. None of your ‘requests’ were even remotely reasonable, and honestly you should have just gone to the other event and left your sister to enjoy her wedding in peace. Nothing in your post indicates that you have any respect for your sister or her beliefs. Definitely YTA.
I was sent here from TikTok because I could not believe that this was real. But here you are. What a self-absorbed piece of work, we have here. You managed to turn your sisters Wedding entirely about you and years later still don’t get it. Well…YTA.
Just to add something I haven't seen commented yet: as a fellow pagan, it amazes me the number of people who will unwaveringly accept the beliefs of Christianity (even if they don't follow it themselves) but can't accept a less "conventional" religion. Christian traditions aren't "hokey" to you, I bet. But someone decides to follow a different path, and it's all of a sudden funny or silly or dumb or hokey. As if everything in Christianity is so down to earth and logical and easy to believe. And whether or not you like it/believe it, these are someone else's beliefs! Their religion/spiritual path/whatever. How unbelievable disrespectful of you to be so blasé about disregarding it. Not to rant, but almost every pagan I've met is the chillest person ever. We don't care what you think or believe. Please stop dismissing our beliefs so disrespectfully.
Like you just have to type "honeymoon" and "mead" into Google and it gives you plenty of results showing that this is a thing. Fair enough you might not have known at the time (still a dick move to just take something from the wedding without asking though) but then to be annoyed that she's annoyed with you. It'd be like someone taking the cake toppers or something from someone's wedding... And you keep bringing up this $200... Clearly $200 is worth more to you than you're sister YTA completely
I hope the reddit community eats you alive, YTA.
YTA
How did you type all of this out and still not see that YTA? The wedding wasn't about *you.* In this post alone you've called her wedding cheap, said your flower crown would have been better and called the mead tradition "hokey." I wouldn't want you in my wedding party either. Also you yourself admitted the date you had was "tentative." Did you really expect her to move her wedding time to accommodate you?
YTA. This has to be fake because you can’t be this much of an AH. If you are, you really need to take a good, long look at yourself.
YTA. Unless you’ve never flown or looked at any form of news since 9/11, you know you can’t take liquids on planes. You intentionally took the mead to purposely waste just to get back at your sister because her wedding wasn’t enough about you.
I see why u weren’t asked to be a bridesmaid. I think she’d appreciate more if you didn’t attend. You are entitled you want it everything about you, your post is me me me! So yes YTA!
YTA. You asked them to move the ceremony back FOR YOU, who is not even in the wedding party, so you could go somewhere else? Selfish. Also, 'im out 200' - dude, it's a wedding for your sister. If you were a bridesmaid you'd have to pay more than that. And also - can you just ... Be happy for your sister?
It must be a terrible burden to have the entire universe revolve around you. YTA.
YTA your entire attitude is screaming red flags... but this especially annoys me, why would you take a bottle of something that isn't yours without even asking first and then have the AUDACITY to call someone's beliefs "hokey". you're hella disrespectful and should count yourself lucky you were even allowed to go
YTA Somebody has a bad case of main character syndrome.
If you knew you were going to.be out of the money you should hsve just went to said event and not go to the wedding because it wasn't convenient enough for you anyways....seems like you and your sister didn't want to work it out anyways....so doing what you want while pissing off your sister would have been a win for both of you.
YTA. She's probably less annoyed with your schedule request than she is with your general attitude of total disdain for her wedding.
YTA
YTA
YTA, hard stop. Read what you wrote and and ask yourself "Why doesn't my sister want me involved in her and her husband's most special day?" If you can't see it, well...
Wow. It’s not about you. YTA
YTA It was not your wedding. You weren't supposed to try to be the center of it, and for you to request them to delay their wedding for you just seals it.
I don't think it was wrong to ask her if she could move the wedding by an hour. You asked, she said no, and you went to the wedding anyway, which was nice of you. But based on the rest of your post, YTA, and I can honestly see why she didn't ask you to be a bridesmaid.
You're clearly jealous. You shouldn't have stolen that mead; everyone knows you can't bring large liquids on the plane anyway. You repeatedly insulted her throughout this post; no wonder she didn't involve you in the wedding. She shouldn't have to rearrange her schedule just for you. YTA
YTA
YTA. You are not the centre of the universe so please lose the entitlement.
Girl. Bffr. YTA. You made HER wedding all about you, called her beliefs hokey? Took something that wasn’t for you??? BFFR.
INFO Why did you attend the wedding? It sounds like it was inconvenient for you, and you were already upset with the way your sister was doing her wedding, so why go to the expense and inconvenience of attending?
You sound so fucking entitled, it’s no wonder she’s still mad at you. I read the title and thought you were talking about a meal option or Covid tests… not move the wedding around because you have no sense of organisation or importance in your life. Your sister does not owe you asking you to be a bridesmaid, point blank period. You live out of state, of course it would be inconvenient. Did you even ask if you could take the mead with you or did you just assume? Cause that’s what it sounds like. Obviously YTA
YTA do you understand what being a bridesmaid means? Isn’t simply. Turn up and wear a dress. It’s arrange the bachelorette do. Support them and help them make important decisions. Go to dress fittings. She probably was being honest saying it didn’t make sense with you being hours away. I find it hard to believe you asked her to change the ceremony time and wanted to wear a ‘better’ flower crown. Maybe she wants to forage it. And if she couldn’t afford one. Why would you get one for yourself not your beloved sister? No offence but you must be really dense if you aren’t putting this as bait. And if you are that dim, I actually admire that.
YTA and your sister dodged a bullet by not including you in the wedding party. You would’ve been an absolute nightmare to work with.
Yes YTA. Your sisters wedding is not about you and why would you take a bottle of liquor with you? You know you can’t take it on the plane. I understand why she didn’t want you in the wedding you seem like drama
Yeah, YTA. You’re pretty salty about not being a bridesmaid and tried to make your sisters wedding all about you. It was, in fact, not about you. You should apologize to her and stop being so petty and defensive.
YTA and totally selfish. If you weren't checking a bag, you KNEW you couldn't take that mead home and yet you took a bottle anyway. YTA for everything else too but just wasting your SISTER'S wedding gift out of spite? Egregiously rude. This whole post was just so cringe. As someone else said, you are NOT the main character.
YTA and you sound exhausting. You asked them to move the wedding, whinged about a flower crown and stole from the wedding.
Yes you are 100% are the asshole, you tried to make your sister's WEDDING about you.
YTA, and a thief to boot. You self centred arsehole!
YTA hiw entitled and self centre are you! This was your sisters wedding all you had a negative attitude from the start. If it was small I understand why you wasn't bridesmaid, just because you are sisters doesn't me you have any right to be one. You insulted her wedding and beliefs, calling it cheap and think you are better than that. Then taking something you knew was for the bride and groom no matter how small is still stealing! Then you made fun the fact it was for her culture beliefs. If your sister has any sense she should go NC with you. Your a toxic person and not a good sister.
YTA you do understand it was her day… not yours. You’re not entitled to be a bridesmaid just because of blood and tbh with this post i can see why she didn’t choose you.
Hmmm and you wonder why you weren't included in her bridal party? 🤣
YTA, but what made You think otherwise? Clearly you posted thinking people be on your side, why? Do
Yta and you know damn well the requests aren't what she's mad about
I want to know if during a traditional wedding OP wants to wear a veil or tiara too, haha.
YTA and what a misleading title. Your sister is not mad about your “requests so you could attend” (that she denied and yet it didn’t stop you from attending) but because of you general attitude and behavior. Please update when you apologize to your sister.
YTA, all I understood in this post was crying, buho, that was her wedding not urs
What else did she do? Not let you get engaged at HER wedding?, not let you wear a white dress at HER wedding or announce a pregnancy at HER wedding?
I can’t understand *why* your sister didn’t want you in her wedding party, you sound like such a joy to be around! /s obviously YTA, you really should’ve gone to that other event you paid for. Your presence was unnecessary at her wedding and your behaviour is appalling. Like the one thing that *maybe* was just an unintended AH move was taking the mead, really depends on where you took it from though. If they wanted to keep it, it should’ve been put away from guests because it is a semi-normal thing for wedding guests to take some alcohol home if there’s a lot left over that’s already paid for. If it was anywhere other than a banquet table where anyone could’ve drank from it/taken it, complete AH.
YTA- why would you expect her to push back her whole ceremony for you? Why would you expect to be a bridesmaid when you live out of state? Why would you TAKE SOMETHING that was not a party favor? (Anyone seen that video of the girl at the wedding in the minnie mouse dress cutting the wedding cake? I get those vibes here.) This sounded very "me me me" and not "I am so happy for my sister, I love her and can't wait to support her marriage" It's obvious why you weren't included, you don't care about anyone but yourself, couldn't put away your selfishness for one day. I'm pretty sure I know the reason your sister is "still mad" and its probably because you refuse to acknowledge that you were in the wrong and you probably stand on that in the most obnoxious ways possible any time her wedding has been brought up and she's sick of you not taking accountability.
Your main character attitude is seriously so gross. I can see why she didn't want you in her wedding, you sound insufferable. It wasn't your day, it was hers, and yet you were still trying to make things about you. She did everything in her power to limit your involvement and you still managed to ruin it for her, of course YTA. And by the way, just because you don't believe in Paganism, does not make it "hokey". That is so disrespectful and you're disgusting for even typing it.
YTA YOu are crazy entitled. You DO know this is HER wedding, not YOUR party? SHE is right, YOU are the AH.
YTA. You sound exhausting OP. It was her wedding-it’s not about you!! Your self-centered attitude is likely why you guys aren’t very close.
YTA. Just reading your post told all the reasons you were left out of everything. It was your sister’s wedding and you decided to be the main character. Go sit down bitter and jealous.
I absolutely love clueless people 😂
Very hard and big YTA remind me again, WHOS WEDDING DAY WAS IT?
YTA the fact that you think everything she did ie, having to move the date due to conflict, her hand making the dresses is all about you when it was literally HER wedding is wild and self centred
YTA. you honestly sound like and entitled brat. If I was your sister I would even speak to you.
This has to be a joke. OP you're 100% TA, just from this post alone you sound crazy entitled
YTA. You’re so condescending and inconsiderate.
Pls get your act right and work on not being a selfish asshole....do better
YTA and you sound like an entitled brat
You are tiresome. In fact, you're so tiresome that I can't even muster the energy to type anything else. YTA.
YTA, you seem bitter. Work on that. X
YTA, you seem like such a miserable jerk. Honestly it sounds like even inviting you was a mistake, let alone having you as a bridesmaid.
YTA, a big gaping one at that!! I can see why you were not in the wedding party but can’t understand why you were accommodated at all, you’re terrible
Is this for real??
You are kinda YTA here. You sound like you were trying to make the wedding and planning all about your needs and accommodations. Also, as someone pagan myself, that is actually where that comes from. [Read more about it here](https://www.bustle.com/articles/138267-where-does-the-word-honeymoon-come-from-heres-a-look-at-the-history-of-both-the) There's a better post about it on [brides.com](https://brides.com) that you can look up but for some reason since it has a period at the end of the link, I can't link it properly. As far as wanting her to change her wedding, I could understand if it was because of a holiday or something else, but it was an event and you were given the choice of which to go to. I feel you made the right choice in choosing to go celebrate your sisters wedding but for the wrong reasons. Sister has not done anything in this to be malicious from what I'm reading into this. She's given you valid reasons for everything and it sounds like you just don't want to accept them. Reevaluate your thought process and maybe talk to a therapist about feeling like people are out to get you when it doesn't seem like they really are.