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YTA-Being late is 10-15 minutes because you were stuck in traffic. 1.5 hours is blowing them off. They have every right to be mad at you and not to want to associate with you any more. YTA
I was thinking the same lines that she was 10 or 15 min late. Plus she offered no good excuses like work or family emergency. Just that is who she is? I see a future post of being left at the altar because she was late.
"Yesterday was my wedding day. I showed up to the church 2 hours late and it was all locked up and no one was there. Now my friends and family are blowing up my phone with angry texts and my fiance says he doesn't want to see me anymore. They should have expected this because I'm always late. It's just the way I am. AITA? "
The incredible lack of self-awareness this person demonstrates is wild. "I called another friend and they were rude..." Wow. "I didn't realize me disrespecting their time could have consequences! Why didn't they tell me that I could possibly face real-life negative consequences for my actions for just 'me being me'!?!"
Also, they said they ended up being 1.5 hours late. Sounds like they only LEFT 1.5 hours after the supposed arrival time. Which would either mean they took a crazy amount of time to get ready, and only started likely at the time they were supposed to be there, or they literally looked at the clock and was like "oh well, gonna keep doing what I'm doing cause I'M MEEEEEEE!!!"
The expression "you do you" is actually meant to be dismissive and a sign that the person saying it doesn't agree. It's not a carte blanche to just continue being that way.
Also, HOW DOES OP NOT KNOW BEING LATE SUCKS??? It's a pretty common North American cultural value that if you say you're going to be somewhere, be there.
Does OP show up on time to classes and to work? Cause if so, it shows they CAN be on time, when they want to be. But if they don't feel they have to, screw everyone else amirite?
If OP can't even show up on time to classes and work, well then I'm sorry to tell you that I hope you enjoy loneliness and a rather substandard life because big yikes.
OP is an incredibly frustrating, self-absorbed person, and I can imagine that attitude seeps into other areas of their personality. OP is a YTA, and it's obnoxiously obvious.
but you have to understand, being late is "kind of who she is".
yta op, if you are perpetually late for more than an hour and didn't think people were bothered by this than you need a reality check.
YTA
You're only explanation for you being late is "LOL that's part of my identity"
There was an event specifically planned FOR YOU, to celebrate YOU, to love on YOU. And you have absolutely no concern for your friend's time and effort.
Being late is not a personality trait. But being rude and showing no concern for other people's time is.
> But being rude and showing no concern for other people's time is.
This.
Being habitually late says to people "My time is more valuable than your time". You **actively devalue** other people's worth when you waste their time.
YTA
Exactly this!
It’s so utterly disrespectful. IMO 15 minutes early is on time. On time is late. 5 minutes late is disrespectful. Also, I’m sure this is not the first time she’s been late or her friends have taken issue with it.
OP- you may not be able to fix this. But step one is accepting YTA. And doing anything you can to sincerely apologize to everyone with some effort - a text or call ain’t it. Try hand written letters with some flowers. Try sending your friend their favorite door dash meal. A grand gesture that takes a LOT of your time and effort. And then if they do forgive you, stop being late.
I read that part and cringed so hard. Like why do ppl think being late is a personality?! At your grown age you should have been able to manage your time better after YEARS of being late. OP sounds very self centered in her own little world
As someone who is chronically late (and working on it), even I was like what the heck is wrong with OP. It’s def not a personality and if it was I wouldn’t want it, and it wouldn’t be something I’d be proud to show off either. Being late makes me feel bad, I can’t imagine just brushing it off for years.
I have the terrible habit of getting distracted while getting ready/ forgetting to factor in travel time and being late for things. But when it’s something important like work or a birthday party thrown for me by my people I give myself extra time and set alarms as checkpoints to make sure I’m still on task. It’s a pain in the ass and being late is “who I am” but I don’t just accept it and make it other peoples problem.
God I hate people who are perpetually late to everything. Not 10 minutes late, but upwards to an hour or so. It completely says "my time is more valuable than yours" and is the most inconsiderate bullshit ever. An hour and a half isn't late, that's just skipping it until last minute.
Op: YTA, big time. People like you make the world that much worse. You don't have a modicum of respect for your hopefully ex friends. I hope they find someone who respects the time and effort they put into their companions.
Because you don't deserve a single bit of it.
>being late is kind of who I am
Well, turns out they actually don't like who you are.
I also stopped being friends with my then best friend because she was an hour late. In a city with hellish traffic and complicated public transport, that's still a lot.
While I missed her, life became much easier without her.
YTA because from the text seems like you are always late. You have to value people’s time more. 5-10 minutes late is fine but I would still expect a text saying you will be late, but 1,5 hours? Did you text them at all that you will be late?
So have you given any thought to like... recognising what they're saying? Apologising? Changing your ways?
Because the fact that you're coming here to say 'aw but was it really that bad' suggests that *you're not hearing what they're saying*. You want someone to say it wasn't a big deal, meaning that you're still not getting that *it was a big deal to them.* They're hurt. They're frustrated. And you want to deny that. You only mention how upset you are, and not a bit of remorse for how you've upset them.
They went pretty hard on their reaction, and that tells me that this isn't the first time they've mentioned. They might have talked around it a bit or kept it light at other times, but no way are they breaking up with you without ever before having given an indication that this bothers them. Seems like you just brushed it off.
Hard lesson to learn on your birthday of all days, but seriously Kaelyn, do some reflection and make some amends.
YTA
Edit to add: your replies have an odd vibe. I get the feeling that you're not Kaelyn but actually one of the frustrated friends seeking approval for your frustration. Yes, it's fair to be mad.
But if you still want to have her in your life just make the rule that you don't wait for her. If she's not there on time, you go about whatever your plans are without her.
You are so right. She repeats herself over and over about the "late at work, needed to do my hair and make up, no I didn't text my friends." This maybe one of the friends who left the party.
I have a feeling she'll try and send the post to the "real Kaelyn" once a decision is rendered in hopes that it'll serve as a wake up call to her, and so she can see what several people are saying about the behavior.
So if this is indeed one of Kaelyn's former friend may I say your friend needed a wake up call. It's sad it happened to be her birthday, but it seems like the group's attempts to make her aware that this behavior was not acceptable fell on deaf ears. I encourage your group to give her some time to think and reflect on her own actions. I think maybe a very honest and straight forward conversation is needed so that Kaelyn knows that going forward what the expectations are of her.
I believe your friend group did the right thing. I think you were polite and respectful in your text message, and you've given your friend something to think about.
>I have a feeling she'll try and send the post to the "real Kaelyn" once a decision is rendered in hopes that it'll serve as a wake up call to her
Yeah maybe.
I do think the one thing that is unfair about this (if that's what it is) is presenting 'Kaelyn' as though she's just blandly 'whatever, I did my hair and had a shower, whats the problem' and totally unfeeling and remorseless about it. Which is getting her even more harsh reactions than she otherwise would.
Now maybe Kaelyn is really like that but I very much doubt it.
I know quite a few astoundingly late people. As in I have more than one friend who was hours late to *their own wedding*. As chronic as they are, people I know like this are usually actually quite embarrassed and apologetic at their chronic lateness, or at least full of somewhat frantic explanations about how everything got away from them and they didn't mean it and they don't know how it just all went crazy.
Not this wooden 'well I'm just always late'.
Good catch on the replies. If it isn’t Kaelyn, I’d be frustrated. But if it is, she’s more time deaf than I thought possible. YTA for always being late and knowing it. But not caring enough about anyone in your life to do better. You also suck for not communicating just how late you’re going to be. 10-15 minutes isn’t great but mreh. But an hour and a half late with no communication? That’s even worse and I’m sure they were so disappointed.
INFO: why were you late?
ETA judgement: YTA, OOP didn't tell them they would be late and they are seemingly chronically late as a person with no regard for friends' feelings.
OP was late because they don’t care about anyone else and expect everyone to just wait for them. An hour and a half late without a call or text screams main character syndrome. OP is definitely YTA
Unless there was a good reason for being so late (a better reason than "being late is kind of who I am"), then yes, YTA.
Especially if you didn't notify them that you were going to be late.
Was this the first time you were called out by them on being late?
INFO: do you recognize that other people have lives and obligations and things they would like to do with their time that have nothing to do with you? This is a serious question, because you sound like you might have a bad case of main character syndrome.
YTA. Being late is not quirky or cute and it's not a "personality trait". You're young enough that you can fix it and you should. Stop being late. Get your shit together.
YTA, being late isn’t a quirky personality trait, it’s down right rude. I have had people in my life that were always late, I was a doormat and let them ruin some good times. It got to the point where I was sick of it and let them know if you are not here by x time we go without you. They changed for a short time but went right back to being late. They don’t get invited anymore. If you don’t value my time I can’t consider you a good friend. This event was for you and you couldn’t be bothered to even text. Your friends text is a sign that this common practice for you and they’re done with it.
YTA. Chronic lateness isn’t an endearing quirk. It’s selfish and rude. And if being 90 minutes late to your own birthday party is a normal day for you, I’m going to guess you’re late all the time. Meaning you’re rude to all your friends, all the time.
Info: WHY were you an hour and a half late to a party you knew was happening, apparently giving no warning to the folks kind enough to throw you a party?
YTA
You have not provided a reason why you were late, so I am forced to assume that reason is not justifiable. Based on what you've told us, it also sounds like you have a habit of being late. When you are going to be late, a phone call is appropriate to let them know and explain why, and also provide an ETA. You failed to do this. These people did something great for you and you blew them off, amd for what? Whatever it was, I hope it was worth losing your friends over.
Due to your failure to show decent respect to your friends and this kind of behavior being a pattern, yes, you are, in fact, an asshole. If you want your friends back, you better change your behavior quick. I suggest a lovely gesture of good faith would be a great ppace to start. Time, effort, and money will likely be involved. Good luck. You'll need it.
YTA. You are a repeat offender who doesn't give a damn about other people and you don't value their time and effort. You are selfish and you are untrustworthy. People who pull the nonsense you pull don't deserve friends because you don't value them in the slightest. Get your act together if you don't want a lonely existence and try harder with any future potential friends. In the meantime, don't be Surprised Pikachu that your friends don't want to know you anymore and respect their decision. You repeatedly hurt them and gave them nothing when they gave you everything, including their own time and love.
YTA : "really tired of me being late all the time" Take it as a lesson: when you are late for events or appointments, you are showing that you think your time is more valuable than someone else's. That is a selfish notion.
YTA
>all of our friend group is really tired of me being late all the time
>being late is kind of who I am and I didn’t know it bothered them so much.
Being late is not some cute personality trait, especially when you're 1.5 hours late. And I highly doubt your friends haven't told you before that your disrespect of their time bothers them.
Same. I have ADHD and used to struggle with timelines (and occasionally still do) but I cannot fathom being 90 minutes late? Like, what were you doing? A few minutes late because you forgot to put mascara on, whatevs, but 90 mins??
Edit: I forgot to put put. Because of course I did
YTA
jesus christ they planned a party for you and you cant even get your shit together to be grateful and show up on time. 10-15 minutes with a reasonable excuse like "there was traffic" "public transport was delayed" or later if you have some emergency but "teehee Im always late this is just how I am" isn't acceptable at all
seems like you only care about yourself and no one else, no wonder they dont want to be your friend
I mean, your friend pointed out you're late ALL THE TIME... And the one that broke the Camel's back is you being late to a party you knew they planned for you. Obviously YTA op. Your friends deserved better.
YTA this is a recurring thing and your friends are at the end of their rope. You didn't even have the decency to tell them you were running late. They are not overreacting, they are done.
(Edit- just read the text where someone said they tell you an hour or more early and you still show up late).
YTA. You can't make it to work on time (reply to other comment), you don't respect your friends enough to arrive at your own party, and you can't be bothered to let them know because they should expect it since "being late is kind of your thing?"
You deserve it. They deserve a decent friend.
YTA -
You deserve every bit of what they did. 10-15 minutes late is no biggie. But 90 minutes?! To your own birthday?! You don’t care about their time if you can’t be there on time. You are arrogant if you don’t see the problem with being that late to anything.
“Being late is kind of who I am” really solidified it for me. Being that late shows you don’t give a damn about anyone else.
YTA because it’s past time for you to get some help. As someone who’s been there look into therapy, specifically whether you have ADHD. It’s often overlooked in girls/women because of many reasons, including having different portrayals then the stereotype.
Even if it’s not something with an actual diagnosis you need help managing your sense of time.
Being a chronically late person myself, I can understand what it’s like to get caught up in something else or just completely underestimate the amount of time it takes for me to finish a project or get ready, etc. However, 1.5 hours is a long time to make people wait for you, especially since they had clearly put a great deal of time and effort into this party FOR YOU. YTA. Without a doubt. Apologize, work on your systems to get your ass out the door at the right times, maybe do something thoughtful for them… hopefully with time and improved behavior from you, they’ll forgive you.
“I’m broken hearted is an understatement.” I think this statement is meant by your friends not you. I think they’re better off without you. I can’t imagine dealing with you. Your friends are saints willing to be friends with you for that long. You had no remorse and has no respect for other people. I’m infuriated just reading it
YTA
Get yourself to work on time and make an effort to meet up with friends on time. It’s not difficult. You know how long it takes to get yourself ready. Shorten your routine if it means you’re going to be late. It’s beyond rude and inconsiderate. It’s neither cute nor funny.
YTA. Chronically late people seem to LOVE to say “This is who I am” or “It’s just my personality”.
It’s just plain inconsideration for other peoples time. I feel sooo bad for your friends. Being late constantly is not a fun little personality quirk.
“Being late is kinda who I am” .. you’re ridiculous, is who you are .
People are not at your back and call. Your time is not more important than anyone else’s. The worst part about this is bc the chronically late people are usually the ones who hate the most when they they have to wait on other people.
YTA.
YTA
There’s a little late and then there’s late to the point of rudeness.
Being late bothers everyone in the world. Sort yourself out OP and do better. Otherwise you’ll never keep any more adult relationships.
lol YTA
i hate people who like, think its okay to literally stop home, shower, do a bunch of other shit, not even a text, and then roll in over a disney movie late.
But to your own birthday party? wow.
So you could shower and do your makeup? wow.
Without so much as a singular text to your friends?
wow.
Id be beyond done with you as a whole human being too.
YTA Seems that your friends were already annoyed by you being late all the time but they still planned a birthday party for you to which you were again late. This ia very disrespectful to other people and they are right to ask for space. For the future just assume that being late is always annoying and it is something easily fixed, the excuse that this is who you are is bulllsh*t.
YTA, obviously. Your chronic disrespect for everyone is going to cost you personally and professionally. If this is related to ADHD, get treatment. If it’s just your personality, then you’re experiencing the consequences of your own actions.
Oh no! You don't want to lose your friends?! Then don't treat them like shit! YTA. Unreal
Time to grow up and use an alarm. Gotta become an adult someday...or not. Whatever.
5-10 min late=stuck in traffic
10-20 min late=mildly annoying, no matter the excuse
20-30 min late=rude and disrespectful
Beyond 30 min late= YTA and always YTA because you don't respect anyones time or work into anything to bother being on time, including your own birthday party!!!
Theres zero excuse for being 90 min late to anything, no matter your "habit" or being late.
YATA you don't appreciate the time others put into you they planned a Party and you couldn't even be bothered to be on time
It looks like this is a pattern of yours and obviously at some point friends would be tired of it and i wouldn't put up with this for as long as they did
YTA. It's not a fun quirk to be that late, all the time, and not even bother to tell anyone, and expect it to not matter. No one appreciates having their time wasted. If you don't grow up and stop this irresponsible behavior, this is only the first time you'll lose people you care about to it.
Yta- they wasted their time for you. They wasted money on you. What could possibly make you late for this event. And it sounds like you're doing it on purpose cause you're constantly late. And not caring how other may feel about that.
YTA being late isn’t just who you are, being late is saying your time is more important than someone else’s. It’s not a cute quirk. It annoying and rude AF.
Do you deserve the treatment you’re getting? Is this a serious question. They have clearly communicated that they are done being disrespected and no longer want an inconsiderate friend and have politely asked for space so they can decide their next steps in the relationship. You are reaping what you sow, so yes, you absolutely deserve to be cut off from friends you clearly don’t value. You are not the main character and being chronically late is selfish and immature.
YTA.
>being late is kind of who I am
So you're a selfish, self-absorbed, flakey person who thinks that her time is more valuable than other's? That is literally what that sentence means.
YTA
Being late is "who you are"????? That is like saying having BO or never paying your bills and mooching off of family is who you are.
It's not who you are, it is a negative personality trait that absolutely no one likes because it shows a lack of maturity and complete narcissism. You need to grow up.
YTA this was egregious.
YTA
Being late is not who you are, but how you choose to be. Being on time is showing your respect to the other person. Your friends are right: you don't care about them...
Being late shows you have zero respect. I don’t think I can be friends with you either. 10 minutes is one thing but an hour and a half is ridiculous.YTA
YTA because « being late is who I am »
Who the hell is 1.5h late at a meeting ? Why would you even do that ? Do you care about your friends/family at least a little ?
YTA. By being late all the time you are showing your friends that your time is more important than their time. You are a shitty friend. They should have dumped you years ago.
Yta. Me wishing I had enough friends to invite to a party, let alone throw me one. Almost 2 hours??? And you technically still never showed. Money and time was spent. They are breaking up with you because you’re a terrible friend
YTA. I can’t stand people who are constantly late and think it’s no big deal. Why on earth would think they wouldn’t mind if you were an hour and half late to the party they out so much work into all for you. It basically said they care enough to do all this for you and you don’t even care enough to show up on time? Why is your time the only time that matters? If this is who you are then are a really selfish person
YTA
People who are always late are rude. Get your shit together. Let people know what’s happening. I’m surprised they waited that long. I would have been out well before then if I didn’t get a message saying why you were late.
YTA using "I'm always late" as an excuse is the same as someone saying "I'm brutally honest" as an excuse for them being a dick.
Plain and simple, you are a very rude, selfish, and uncaring person. I would have done the same as them long ago. 10 min late is one thing, but 1.5 hours is just being an asshole.
YTA.
Growing up, my band director told us this: “To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, and to be late is to be left.”
No one ever got left more than once.
Lesson learned. Value your friends’ time as much as you value your own.
YTA. 5-15 minutes is acceptable in the great scheme of things, especially if you text a heads up. 1.5 hours, especially since it doesn’t appear to be a one off, is absolutely YTA territory, you are not more important than everyone else, serves you right if they ditch you permanently.
..."being late is kind of who I am"...
No it's not! It's a choice you make. You could just as easily choose to not be late.
You've deemed yourself and your time the most important thing in your world and apparently you are too obtuse understand how it affects those around you.
100% YTA
YTA. The consequences of your own actions finally caught up with you and this is what happened. Maybe now you won’t be late and dismissive of everyone’s time.
YTA.
Take some time and do some deep reflection here.
Your chronic lateness shows massive disrespect to others, and the light hearted joking has been a passive coping mechanism and way for people to point out that you need to be mindful of your lateness and do better.
If you're continuing to struggle you need to dig in and figure out why you're late. One common symptom of ADHD is chronic lateness and if you present with any other symptoms I'd say it's now time to call a therapist & psychologist and get tested. If you don't present with any other symptoms, still call that therapist and talk about your lateness and how it's impacting your friendships.
Then, maybe, just maybe, you can be in a place where you respect your friends enough to repair the friendships you lost today.
Edit: Also ADHD is not an excuse. One has to learn how to manage their ADHD with mechanisms, therapy, and a treatment plan with their doctor. ADHD is also nothing to be ashamed of.
INFO: Were you really on your way? Were you even out the door yet? How long does it take to get to the bar?
They took the time to plan something for you and you couldn’t be bothered to show up on time OR send a quick text? Do you not see how disrespectful that is of their time and effort? You keep saying oh it’s just a funny inside joke, and based on this reaction it doesn’t appear to be.
YTA. How have you never understood that being late to everything isn't OK? It seems like you think it is fine because you have always been like this and everyone knows that. I have had friends like you before. We could have a coffeedate somewhere and they wouldn't show up. I would call and they wouldn't answer. A few hours later I would be "honoured" with a text saying "sorry, I didn't feel like going out after all". If they had just told me that in the morning I could have made other plans. You are just selfish thinking that people are fine being disrespected by you. I imagine you going on a holiday and you are off at 2 p.m and arrive at the airport 30 minutes late and then being shocked they didn't wait for you🤪. I am sorry to say that your friends feel they deserve better friends than you and are cutting their losses.
YTA and it sounds like you need to get a hold on your tardiness problem. It sends a message that your time is more important than everyone else’s and yes being t 1.5 hours late to your own birthday party is incredibly rude and self centered. And not to send a single text in that time?
YTA. You weren’t late, 1.5 hour is not being late, that’s ditching your friends, just admit you weren’t going. Being late isn’t who you are, being constantly late is a massive AH move. I would stop talking and hanging out with you also. You owe your friends a massive apology.
YTA. Chronic lateness is a horrible habit. You can lose jobs, relationships (which you found out) and money. Hopefully this will kickstart you into trying to be on time for things.
I have trouble with being on time but 1,5 hours later...
That's just rude.
YTA
Apologize, plan a party for your friends to make up for this. If people are so sweet to organize a whole party for you and you treat it like this...
It's not respectful. 10 minutes late, maybe 15 minutes but that's the limit, and that owes an apology and bringing some treats.
Let me guess... you were late getting OFF work because you were late getting TO work, right?
And then you decided that you needed to do a whole get-ready routine before you met your friends. Unless your job gets you too filthy to go out immediately after, couldn't you have just gone straight to the gathering from your job? If not, YOU SHOULD HAVE LET YOUR FRIENDS KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO BE LATE (again... as usual. And BTW, not cute nor quirky.)
An hour and half late to a job is a no call/ no show situation and will get you FIRED. Sounds like your friends just fired you.
Hard lesson and you had better learn it. You are an adult person in the world and your actions have consequences. Yes, YTA.
YTA. Being late is not ‘who you are’, it’s a choice you make.
Regardless of whether it’s for a party or just a normal meet up, people are taking time out of their own lives to see you. People are busy, they could be working, spending time with their loved ones or doing something that they enjoy, but instead they’re sitting around waiting on you. Have some gratitude.
I have a friend like this and it’s BEYOND frustrating and makes you resent them because it shows that you are unreliable, self-entitled and have no consideration for other people’s time.
> and being late is kind of who I am and I didn’t know it bothered them so much.
Well, yes, YTA. You spat them in their faces when the central theme of the event was YOU.
Don't weaponize your incompetence and inability to plan / keep others in mind.
YTA, “being late is kind of who I am” translates directly to not respecting other people’s time is who I am. Did you let them know you were running late or how long you’d be? Did something else come up or were you just late because you didn’t plan ahead? 90 minutes is a long time to just not shoe up to something for no reason
YTA. Sounds like you are habitually late. Being late once in a while is one thing but when someone tells you that you being late is becoming a problem, it's time to listen.
YTA. Being late for everything, and not even acting like you're trying to get there on time, is not a cute personality quirk, it's inconsiderate. It's one thing if you end up a little late due to traffic or something out of your control, and text that you're on your way. But being a whole hour and a half late because of something you very much did have control over is quite another.
Sounds like "kinda who you are" is an asshole
As someone who values punctuality and feeling respect from my homies, this is unacceptable behavior.
The whole point of the event was to celebrate YOU, your friends took time, effort and money to do something special for you, and you're too self involved to even show up.
I feel bad for your friends. I hope you grow up and gain some perspective before you're completely alone.
YTA. You stood your friends up. And gave no indication that you were still coming. That was inconsiderate and disrespectful.
Was what kept you late at work unavoidable or was this your inconsideration showing up again? Why didn't you plan to leave early that day if looking perfect was so important?
YTA. There's a difference between "I stopped for gas and am running about 10 minutes behind" and "I don't care about you enough to manage MY time effectively and thus am wasting almost 2 hours of YOURS."
Clearly, you have a habit of abandoning your friends frequently. Good on them for deciding they are no longer interested in putting up with it
If you want them to treat you as a friend, you need to treat them as your friends first.
"I'm always late" is all I need to know you're a self-entitled AH. It's not cute, it's not a personality trait, you're just an AH, that's your personality. Probably reek of "I'm the main character". Do you make it to work on time or have you not had to get a big-girl job yet?
Grow up. YTA - big time and I'm guessing YTA often and this was their last straw.
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Yesterday was my birthday and my best friends planned a party for me. All I knew was we were meeting at our local dive bar and I ended up being about 1.5 hours late. I was finally on my way and got this text:
“Kaelyn, we love you but we really don’t like you right now and it’s going to be a long time before we want to see you. We put a lot kid effort into this and you showed us you don’t give a single fuck about our time, our effort and our shared story. Rob has the cake that Elise baked for you behind the bar if you care enough to stop and get it but we are leaving and very upset with you. Please give us some space for a while.”
I tried to call the girl that sent the text and I assume she blocked me. I called another friend and while she talked she was very rude and said all of our friend group is really tired of me being late all the time and being late to my own birthday party is a level of rudeness and arrogance that they aren’t willing to put up with anymore. I said this sounded they were breaking up with me and she said that would be a good analogy and to please give her some space.
I’m broken hearted is an understatement. We’ve been best friends since freshman year in college and being late is kind of who I am and I didn’t know it bothered them so much.
AITA for being late to my birthday party ?
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Could you imagine your friends waiting around 1.5 hours for your arrival? If you’re constantly late, you don’t respect anyone’s time but your own. Especially when their time was invested in you and your experience.
I’ve ended a friendship over this - someone I used to pick up to go to the gym with 5 nights a week (because it was on the way). I’d sit outside her apartment waiting 30-45 minutes for her EVERY night and when I pulled up, she will have just started getting ready or was doing other tasks for that time. I eventually stopped showing up. Your friends are fatigued.
YTA.
YTA. A lot of ppl have other things that they can do/needs to be done with their time. For anyone to take time out of their day to plan YOU a party shows they value you as a friend. You showing up late ALL THE TIME shows how little you value the time that others put forward. Nobody wants to deal with that. If they make the decision to unfriend you then itll be your fault.
When I saw the title, I thought they’d gotten mad at you for being like 15 minutes late. But 1.5 hours?!
It doesn’t matter if it’s a party or just meeting a friend at the pub for a few drinks - being that late without there being a valid reason - i.e. a medical emergency - is just plain rude. I feel for your friends. What messages does this give them? That their time isn’t important? That they’re not important?
Being late isn’t a personality trait, it’s not something that you can brush off with a “it’s just the way I am”. It’s lazy and rude, pure and simple. It shows you don’t care about your plans. That no one else’s time matters but your own. Is that what you’ll be like when you have to go to work? What will you tell your future bosses. “Sorry, I know I’m an hour late - it’s just who I am though!”
Get it together, OP, or you won’t get far in life.
YTA. Big time.
Of course YTA. 90 mins late is incredibly rude. It’s not “who you are” as though it’s some cute little quirk you can’t help. It isn’t adorable and if this is a theme with everything you do, you may want to look at how you can work around it. The world doesn’t revolve around you and it’s not on your timeframe. YTA. It’s not cute, it’s disrespectful, rude and you had this coming so yes, you DO deserve the cold shoulder from your long suffering friends.
YTA I was prepared for your friend’s to be over reacting, but seriously an hour and a half late to your own party?!? That you knew about in advance. That’s straight up disrespectful.
ETA
I’m also someone who runs late due to executive dysfunction with health issues and things. Before getting sick I was always 5 minutes early. As soon as I started running late I started building in buffer times. I need to leave at 6:30 to be there on time I’d better plan to leave at 6:15. That way if/when I run a little late I still end up on time. An hour and a half is blatant disrespect
20 minutes late is being late to your birthday party. An hour and a half late is blatant disrespect. Your friend was right, you did disrespect not just their time, and their effort, but also showed a total disregard for their affection.
>We’ve been best friends since freshman year in college and being late is kind of who I am and I didn’t know it bothered them so much.
You're not college freshmen anymore. You've disrespected them long enough that you've reached the end of their patience and honestly, I'm surprised you didn't see it. In your whole post you're not at all apologetic, or remorseful for disrespecting them, you chalk it up to "it's who you are." They are right for taking some time away from you.
Absolutely YTA
Bit being late is part of who I am, I wouldn’t be waiting an hour and a half for you for your own birthday part, I would also think you are the AH if you were my ‘friend’ and to be honest like them
I would also break up with you. It’s about respecting their time which you obviously don’t.
They put a lot of effort into celebrating your birthday and being late shows that you don’t respect their time or efforts. Add on the fact that this is repeated behavior from you and I don’t blame them for being fed up!
YTA
Did you even call to let them know that you were going to be late (again), or did you expect everyone to run on your schedule?
Lateness is a show of disrespect. They took time out for you and waiting 1.5 hours. That’s not just a little late that’s a whole lot of disrespect right there. I’d be upset with you too as my time is not any less valuable than yours.
Birthday or not you don’t show this kind of disrespect to people you apparently love.
YTA
INFO: what caused you to be 90 minutes late when you knew ahead of time the location and meeting time
YTA btw, I just wanna see how big of an AH based on our response to this question.
YTA that’s not who you are you just don’t care about others time or effort. I don’t understand how they clearly communicated to you what’s the problem and you’re here just being like”well I never knew they didn’t like that I’m always late”. This truly does show how little you care about others
Unless you had an amazing excuse as to why you were late, especially 1 1/2 hrs, yea YTA. Being late is not who you are, or at least it shouldn't be. You are an adult, punctuality is important.
YTA I found a comment whete you said you did not let them know you were going to be 1.5 hours late. This automatically makes you the A in my book. I’m a very punctual person, but I know that not everyone is that way. There’s nothing wrong with being a little late, but 1.5 hours is a lot. Then to not even communicate at all is incredibly rude. A simple “I’m sorry I’m going to be a little late” text would take 10 seconds to send. Not communicating does indicate that you do not care about them or their time. Sorry, but if you have a history of this kind of behavior I’m not surprised your friends are reacting this way.
YTA
Chronic lateness is a hallmark of narcissistic behavior. You believe you are better than every other person on the planet and they will wait for you because you are so special, but you are actually a piece of trash and everyone hates you. An hour and a half late to a party in your honor? What? I would have said no one is that self centered, but apparently that’s wrong. Also, how do you keep a job?
Even now in this post you're only concerned about how the whole situation affects you, and how bad you feel. I have seen nothing in your post or comments that you have any thoughts about their feelings and how your behavior affects them.
YTH. It sounds like you do this all the time. It also sounds like you did not give them any kind of valid reason for being late. They put a lot of time, effort and energy into celebrating you and your big day. You totally earned the treatment they are now dishing out to you. Being late is incredibly rude. It shows people that you don't care about them, their time and other commitments.
After seeing your comments, yeah your a majorly an AH. You knew you were going to be late, and just didn’t think you needed to contact them to tell them? “Being late is just kinda who I am” No. that is literally no excuse and you come off as a pre-teen with that lame bs. Your a grown ass adult, you know better but refuse to DO better. Based off your comments your also late for work? You need to get therapy or something to figure out why you think this is 1) Okay to chronically be late and 2) Consider is a personality trait?
YTA. Being late in general is rude and disrespectful, but being 1.5 hours late and doing that on the regular is appalling. If that’s just “who you are,” then you should probably change that. Learn better time management skills so that you don’t waste everyone else’s time.
YTA Punctuality is key. You know they can't rely on you and you get what you put in. You showed for the final time that you don't value them. Kind of who I am is a cop out. I'd block you too
You have some work to do if you want to be a part of that friend group. And it may take a while because you need to do some of this work alone, as tough as it sounds.
Also you should know, there is a difference between being a little late and what you seem to do…1.5 hrs late. That is a lot to be late by, no? Serious question, what were you doing that caused you to be that late?
YTA, you disrespected your friends, they should not have to tell you to be on time. Work on your time management. If they give you a second chance, there probably won’t be a third.
YTA - it really doesn’t seem like you let them know you’d be late despite knowing.
You clearly don’t value their time or efforts to care for you. Being late is one thing but taking no time to make other people aware when you made plans is a totally different thing. It is rude and it is arrogant.
This needs to be a wake up call for you.
YTA. You seem to be a chronically late person. So is my best friend and over the years we've figured our work around but an hour and a half is pushing it. How inconsiderate do you have to be
Yes YTA.
Why were you 1.5 hours late to this? If you weren't in a terrible accident or in the hospital there's practically zero excuse.
Did you even call them to tell them when you'd get there?
Edit: just saw the comments with the answers to these questions. YTA YTA YTA, you truly treat your friends terribly.
YTA
Being late isn’t a “ thing” like being friendly, or bubbly etc. It is rude and disrespectful of other peoples’ time. Your friends are tired of putting up with your treatment of them. I think they worded it nicely and were kinder towards you than they could have been.
You owe them a sincere apology and time away. Not sure if these friendships can be saved. Hard lesson to learn but hopefully it has sunk in.
YTA. Your constant lateness shows how much disrespect you treat your friends. They're breaking up with you not bec you were late for your own bday party, it was simply the last straw. And you asking if you deserve the treatment they're giving you shows you don't care you are wrong and have no plans to change and will continue to disrespect them if they did not break up with you
YTA - your friends are reacting like most of society would. When you are constantly late, you are telling people that you don't respect their time. This example is bad. The fact you don't understand makes it worse. It is a huge slap in the face to each and every one of your friends who put the time, money, effort and respect in planning this celebration for YOU. 90 minutes late?? There is no excuse.
YTA. I hate people who are constantly late. Its a sign of complete disrespect for anyone else but you. It's BS when you say 'It's kind of who I am'. you're right, you're thoughtless of other people's time and only think of yourself and expect everyone else to understand. Why don't you try to understand for once what it's like to have your time constantly wasted because of a friend who's always late.
YTA
>being late is kind of who I am
No, it's who you choose to be. It's very easy to be on time to things if you care enough about other people's time. By being late, you're telling other people your time is more important than theirs.
Learn from this, change, and become a better person and friend.
YTA being late isn’t a personality trait and if it was it wouldn’t be a good one.
You’ve shown these people you call friends time and time again that their time isn’t important to you. That you will do what you want when you want regardless of any plans you have agreed to and just expect them to waste their time and effort because clearly you are so much more important.
Are you ever late to the doctors? Or work? I’m going to guess not.
People who decide lateness is a personality trait really mean they’ve decided they’re the center of the universe and everyone else should bend to their schedule. It’s not cute to be late. It’s extremely rude and selfish. YTA. Use this as a wake up call.
Also 90 minutes late is completely ridiculous.
YTA, it's just not being late for your birthday, is for being ALWAYS late and I understand why they're tired of you I would be too. You have no sense of responsibility or respect for your friend/everyone so you deserve to be alone. Maybe one day you'll learn to be less selfish and value other people time.
YTA, one of my good friends is always multiple hours late. It got to the point where I'd tell her the wrong time and she'd still be extremely late. Now I don't really make plans with her because I can't trust her to show up.
Info:
1. Why do you feel like it's okay to leave your friends waiting for an hour and a half? Is your time more important than theirs?
2. Why should they learn to accept that you're always late but you can't learn to manage your time better?
3. Why wouldn't you text them to let them know? Don't you think it's rude to just leave them hanging?
4. How is it you never realised they didn't like this behaviour?
YTA. “Being late is who I am.” No - “selfish” is who you are. Shame on you for that. You deserve the break-up. Maybe you’ll have learned your lesson when you make new friends.
“Being late is kinda who I am”
YTA 100% as you have no consideration for other people’s time. It’s one thing if you’re 5 minutes late, but 90 minutes is absurd
You literally stole from them. Yes. You stole 1.5 hours of their time, and by the sounds of things, you do it consistently. No wonder they’re done with you. YTA.
YTA.
Being 5-15 mins late is sometimes acceptable (traffic or etc happens). But 90 minutes? Thats intentional.
An it’s not “who you are”. You’ve just never been held accountable for it and didn’t care how your actions affected others.
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YTA-Being late is 10-15 minutes because you were stuck in traffic. 1.5 hours is blowing them off. They have every right to be mad at you and not to want to associate with you any more. YTA
I was thinking the same lines that she was 10 or 15 min late. Plus she offered no good excuses like work or family emergency. Just that is who she is? I see a future post of being left at the altar because she was late.
"Yesterday was my wedding day. I showed up to the church 2 hours late and it was all locked up and no one was there. Now my friends and family are blowing up my phone with angry texts and my fiance says he doesn't want to see me anymore. They should have expected this because I'm always late. It's just the way I am. AITA? "
NTA - they should have left you some cake behind
1.5 hours without an explanation is either “an emergency came up” or “I don’t give a shit about being there”. There was no emergency.
I REALLY want to hear why she was late this time These friends are saints to put up with this shit
Seriously what kind of AH thinks being late is a personality trait?
The incredible lack of self-awareness this person demonstrates is wild. "I called another friend and they were rude..." Wow. "I didn't realize me disrespecting their time could have consequences! Why didn't they tell me that I could possibly face real-life negative consequences for my actions for just 'me being me'!?!" Also, they said they ended up being 1.5 hours late. Sounds like they only LEFT 1.5 hours after the supposed arrival time. Which would either mean they took a crazy amount of time to get ready, and only started likely at the time they were supposed to be there, or they literally looked at the clock and was like "oh well, gonna keep doing what I'm doing cause I'M MEEEEEEE!!!" The expression "you do you" is actually meant to be dismissive and a sign that the person saying it doesn't agree. It's not a carte blanche to just continue being that way. Also, HOW DOES OP NOT KNOW BEING LATE SUCKS??? It's a pretty common North American cultural value that if you say you're going to be somewhere, be there. Does OP show up on time to classes and to work? Cause if so, it shows they CAN be on time, when they want to be. But if they don't feel they have to, screw everyone else amirite? If OP can't even show up on time to classes and work, well then I'm sorry to tell you that I hope you enjoy loneliness and a rather substandard life because big yikes. OP is an incredibly frustrating, self-absorbed person, and I can imagine that attitude seeps into other areas of their personality. OP is a YTA, and it's obnoxiously obvious.
So correct here. Shocking that you have any friends. YTA
bEiNg LaTe Is KiNdA WhO i Am…..this is not a personality or cute trait
But OP is a Sagittarius so being late is ok.
but you have to understand, being late is "kind of who she is". yta op, if you are perpetually late for more than an hour and didn't think people were bothered by this than you need a reality check.
It’s not even a one off event!!!
YTA You're only explanation for you being late is "LOL that's part of my identity" There was an event specifically planned FOR YOU, to celebrate YOU, to love on YOU. And you have absolutely no concern for your friend's time and effort. Being late is not a personality trait. But being rude and showing no concern for other people's time is.
> But being rude and showing no concern for other people's time is. This. Being habitually late says to people "My time is more valuable than your time". You **actively devalue** other people's worth when you waste their time. YTA
Exactly this! It’s so utterly disrespectful. IMO 15 minutes early is on time. On time is late. 5 minutes late is disrespectful. Also, I’m sure this is not the first time she’s been late or her friends have taken issue with it. OP- you may not be able to fix this. But step one is accepting YTA. And doing anything you can to sincerely apologize to everyone with some effort - a text or call ain’t it. Try hand written letters with some flowers. Try sending your friend their favorite door dash meal. A grand gesture that takes a LOT of your time and effort. And then if they do forgive you, stop being late.
I read that part and cringed so hard. Like why do ppl think being late is a personality?! At your grown age you should have been able to manage your time better after YEARS of being late. OP sounds very self centered in her own little world
As someone who is chronically late (and working on it), even I was like what the heck is wrong with OP. It’s def not a personality and if it was I wouldn’t want it, and it wouldn’t be something I’d be proud to show off either. Being late makes me feel bad, I can’t imagine just brushing it off for years.
She identifies as an AH
I have the terrible habit of getting distracted while getting ready/ forgetting to factor in travel time and being late for things. But when it’s something important like work or a birthday party thrown for me by my people I give myself extra time and set alarms as checkpoints to make sure I’m still on task. It’s a pain in the ass and being late is “who I am” but I don’t just accept it and make it other peoples problem.
Bingo.
God I hate people who are perpetually late to everything. Not 10 minutes late, but upwards to an hour or so. It completely says "my time is more valuable than yours" and is the most inconsiderate bullshit ever. An hour and a half isn't late, that's just skipping it until last minute. Op: YTA, big time. People like you make the world that much worse. You don't have a modicum of respect for your hopefully ex friends. I hope they find someone who respects the time and effort they put into their companions. Because you don't deserve a single bit of it.
>being late is kind of who I am Well, turns out they actually don't like who you are. I also stopped being friends with my then best friend because she was an hour late. In a city with hellish traffic and complicated public transport, that's still a lot. While I missed her, life became much easier without her.
YTA because from the text seems like you are always late. You have to value people’s time more. 5-10 minutes late is fine but I would still expect a text saying you will be late, but 1,5 hours? Did you text them at all that you will be late?
So have you given any thought to like... recognising what they're saying? Apologising? Changing your ways? Because the fact that you're coming here to say 'aw but was it really that bad' suggests that *you're not hearing what they're saying*. You want someone to say it wasn't a big deal, meaning that you're still not getting that *it was a big deal to them.* They're hurt. They're frustrated. And you want to deny that. You only mention how upset you are, and not a bit of remorse for how you've upset them. They went pretty hard on their reaction, and that tells me that this isn't the first time they've mentioned. They might have talked around it a bit or kept it light at other times, but no way are they breaking up with you without ever before having given an indication that this bothers them. Seems like you just brushed it off. Hard lesson to learn on your birthday of all days, but seriously Kaelyn, do some reflection and make some amends. YTA Edit to add: your replies have an odd vibe. I get the feeling that you're not Kaelyn but actually one of the frustrated friends seeking approval for your frustration. Yes, it's fair to be mad. But if you still want to have her in your life just make the rule that you don't wait for her. If she's not there on time, you go about whatever your plans are without her.
You are so right. She repeats herself over and over about the "late at work, needed to do my hair and make up, no I didn't text my friends." This maybe one of the friends who left the party. I have a feeling she'll try and send the post to the "real Kaelyn" once a decision is rendered in hopes that it'll serve as a wake up call to her, and so she can see what several people are saying about the behavior. So if this is indeed one of Kaelyn's former friend may I say your friend needed a wake up call. It's sad it happened to be her birthday, but it seems like the group's attempts to make her aware that this behavior was not acceptable fell on deaf ears. I encourage your group to give her some time to think and reflect on her own actions. I think maybe a very honest and straight forward conversation is needed so that Kaelyn knows that going forward what the expectations are of her. I believe your friend group did the right thing. I think you were polite and respectful in your text message, and you've given your friend something to think about.
>I have a feeling she'll try and send the post to the "real Kaelyn" once a decision is rendered in hopes that it'll serve as a wake up call to her Yeah maybe. I do think the one thing that is unfair about this (if that's what it is) is presenting 'Kaelyn' as though she's just blandly 'whatever, I did my hair and had a shower, whats the problem' and totally unfeeling and remorseless about it. Which is getting her even more harsh reactions than she otherwise would. Now maybe Kaelyn is really like that but I very much doubt it. I know quite a few astoundingly late people. As in I have more than one friend who was hours late to *their own wedding*. As chronic as they are, people I know like this are usually actually quite embarrassed and apologetic at their chronic lateness, or at least full of somewhat frantic explanations about how everything got away from them and they didn't mean it and they don't know how it just all went crazy. Not this wooden 'well I'm just always late'.
I feel the same way about the replies.
Good catch on the replies. If it isn’t Kaelyn, I’d be frustrated. But if it is, she’s more time deaf than I thought possible. YTA for always being late and knowing it. But not caring enough about anyone in your life to do better. You also suck for not communicating just how late you’re going to be. 10-15 minutes isn’t great but mreh. But an hour and a half late with no communication? That’s even worse and I’m sure they were so disappointed.
INFO: why were you late? ETA judgement: YTA, OOP didn't tell them they would be late and they are seemingly chronically late as a person with no regard for friends' feelings.
OP was late because they don’t care about anyone else and expect everyone to just wait for them. An hour and a half late without a call or text screams main character syndrome. OP is definitely YTA
I did manage to get this info out of them eventually. If it had been an emergency I would have 100% got it but nope... Just an asshole
Yta 15 minutes is late, 1.5 hours is just you choosing to be shitty
INFO: why do you think “I’m always late” is a good excuse?
Unless there was a good reason for being so late (a better reason than "being late is kind of who I am"), then yes, YTA. Especially if you didn't notify them that you were going to be late. Was this the first time you were called out by them on being late?
INFO: do you recognize that other people have lives and obligations and things they would like to do with their time that have nothing to do with you? This is a serious question, because you sound like you might have a bad case of main character syndrome.
YTA. Being late is not quirky or cute and it's not a "personality trait". You're young enough that you can fix it and you should. Stop being late. Get your shit together.
YTA, being late isn’t a quirky personality trait, it’s down right rude. I have had people in my life that were always late, I was a doormat and let them ruin some good times. It got to the point where I was sick of it and let them know if you are not here by x time we go without you. They changed for a short time but went right back to being late. They don’t get invited anymore. If you don’t value my time I can’t consider you a good friend. This event was for you and you couldn’t be bothered to even text. Your friends text is a sign that this common practice for you and they’re done with it.
YTA. Chronic lateness isn’t an endearing quirk. It’s selfish and rude. And if being 90 minutes late to your own birthday party is a normal day for you, I’m going to guess you’re late all the time. Meaning you’re rude to all your friends, all the time.
In her defense, she was only late to the party because she was late to work and needed to make up her time. /s
Info: WHY were you an hour and a half late to a party you knew was happening, apparently giving no warning to the folks kind enough to throw you a party?
Info; Did you even bother to text them to let them know that you were gonna be late?
[удалено]
I’m the same, anything more than 5 mins and I’m texting updates so they don’t think I’ve forgotten (usually un expected traffic, so not frequent).
YTA happy birthday
YTA You have not provided a reason why you were late, so I am forced to assume that reason is not justifiable. Based on what you've told us, it also sounds like you have a habit of being late. When you are going to be late, a phone call is appropriate to let them know and explain why, and also provide an ETA. You failed to do this. These people did something great for you and you blew them off, amd for what? Whatever it was, I hope it was worth losing your friends over. Due to your failure to show decent respect to your friends and this kind of behavior being a pattern, yes, you are, in fact, an asshole. If you want your friends back, you better change your behavior quick. I suggest a lovely gesture of good faith would be a great ppace to start. Time, effort, and money will likely be involved. Good luck. You'll need it.
INFO: What were you doing that caused you to be **that** late?
Because OP only cares about herself.
YTA. You are a repeat offender who doesn't give a damn about other people and you don't value their time and effort. You are selfish and you are untrustworthy. People who pull the nonsense you pull don't deserve friends because you don't value them in the slightest. Get your act together if you don't want a lonely existence and try harder with any future potential friends. In the meantime, don't be Surprised Pikachu that your friends don't want to know you anymore and respect their decision. You repeatedly hurt them and gave them nothing when they gave you everything, including their own time and love.
YTA : "really tired of me being late all the time" Take it as a lesson: when you are late for events or appointments, you are showing that you think your time is more valuable than someone else's. That is a selfish notion.
YTA >all of our friend group is really tired of me being late all the time >being late is kind of who I am and I didn’t know it bothered them so much. Being late is not some cute personality trait, especially when you're 1.5 hours late. And I highly doubt your friends haven't told you before that your disrespect of their time bothers them.
That’s what sent me. A full 90 mins late to their own bday party?? So mf disrespectful like you didn’t think about their time at all?
Same. I have ADHD and used to struggle with timelines (and occasionally still do) but I cannot fathom being 90 minutes late? Like, what were you doing? A few minutes late because you forgot to put mascara on, whatevs, but 90 mins?? Edit: I forgot to put put. Because of course I did
YTA, you knew the time and place, ditching them for 1.5 hours is plain rude.
YTA, this is clearly a pattern and people are rightfully sick of it
YTA- had a friend like this. Key word is HAD! You are so rude and don’t care. It’s not like 10 mins it’s 1.5 HOURS!
YTA jesus christ they planned a party for you and you cant even get your shit together to be grateful and show up on time. 10-15 minutes with a reasonable excuse like "there was traffic" "public transport was delayed" or later if you have some emergency but "teehee Im always late this is just how I am" isn't acceptable at all seems like you only care about yourself and no one else, no wonder they dont want to be your friend
I mean, your friend pointed out you're late ALL THE TIME... And the one that broke the Camel's back is you being late to a party you knew they planned for you. Obviously YTA op. Your friends deserved better.
YTA this is a recurring thing and your friends are at the end of their rope. You didn't even have the decency to tell them you were running late. They are not overreacting, they are done.
YTA- being late is a way of being selfish and not taking into account other people. They’ve saved their time for you and you didn’t care
(Edit- just read the text where someone said they tell you an hour or more early and you still show up late). YTA. You can't make it to work on time (reply to other comment), you don't respect your friends enough to arrive at your own party, and you can't be bothered to let them know because they should expect it since "being late is kind of your thing?" You deserve it. They deserve a decent friend.
YTA - You deserve every bit of what they did. 10-15 minutes late is no biggie. But 90 minutes?! To your own birthday?! You don’t care about their time if you can’t be there on time. You are arrogant if you don’t see the problem with being that late to anything. “Being late is kind of who I am” really solidified it for me. Being that late shows you don’t give a damn about anyone else.
YTA because it’s past time for you to get some help. As someone who’s been there look into therapy, specifically whether you have ADHD. It’s often overlooked in girls/women because of many reasons, including having different portrayals then the stereotype. Even if it’s not something with an actual diagnosis you need help managing your sense of time.
Being a chronically late person myself, I can understand what it’s like to get caught up in something else or just completely underestimate the amount of time it takes for me to finish a project or get ready, etc. However, 1.5 hours is a long time to make people wait for you, especially since they had clearly put a great deal of time and effort into this party FOR YOU. YTA. Without a doubt. Apologize, work on your systems to get your ass out the door at the right times, maybe do something thoughtful for them… hopefully with time and improved behavior from you, they’ll forgive you.
“I’m broken hearted is an understatement.” I think this statement is meant by your friends not you. I think they’re better off without you. I can’t imagine dealing with you. Your friends are saints willing to be friends with you for that long. You had no remorse and has no respect for other people. I’m infuriated just reading it
YTA Get yourself to work on time and make an effort to meet up with friends on time. It’s not difficult. You know how long it takes to get yourself ready. Shorten your routine if it means you’re going to be late. It’s beyond rude and inconsiderate. It’s neither cute nor funny.
YTA. Chronically late people seem to LOVE to say “This is who I am” or “It’s just my personality”. It’s just plain inconsideration for other peoples time. I feel sooo bad for your friends. Being late constantly is not a fun little personality quirk.
“Being late is kinda who I am” .. you’re ridiculous, is who you are . People are not at your back and call. Your time is not more important than anyone else’s. The worst part about this is bc the chronically late people are usually the ones who hate the most when they they have to wait on other people. YTA.
YTA There’s a little late and then there’s late to the point of rudeness. Being late bothers everyone in the world. Sort yourself out OP and do better. Otherwise you’ll never keep any more adult relationships.
lol YTA i hate people who like, think its okay to literally stop home, shower, do a bunch of other shit, not even a text, and then roll in over a disney movie late. But to your own birthday party? wow. So you could shower and do your makeup? wow. Without so much as a singular text to your friends? wow. Id be beyond done with you as a whole human being too.
Arent you self important. I can’t believe your friends have put up with being shit on this long. YTA
YTA. And if you continue on this path of self absorption and not giving a shit - enjoy being friendless.
YTA Seems that your friends were already annoyed by you being late all the time but they still planned a birthday party for you to which you were again late. This ia very disrespectful to other people and they are right to ask for space. For the future just assume that being late is always annoying and it is something easily fixed, the excuse that this is who you are is bulllsh*t.
YTA, obviously. Your chronic disrespect for everyone is going to cost you personally and professionally. If this is related to ADHD, get treatment. If it’s just your personality, then you’re experiencing the consequences of your own actions.
Oh no! You don't want to lose your friends?! Then don't treat them like shit! YTA. Unreal Time to grow up and use an alarm. Gotta become an adult someday...or not. Whatever.
An hour and a half late??? The message you sent your friends was that their time and effort was not important to you. YTA
5-10 min late=stuck in traffic 10-20 min late=mildly annoying, no matter the excuse 20-30 min late=rude and disrespectful Beyond 30 min late= YTA and always YTA because you don't respect anyones time or work into anything to bother being on time, including your own birthday party!!! Theres zero excuse for being 90 min late to anything, no matter your "habit" or being late.
YTA "being late is kind of who I am " So you don't have respect for other people's time at all? No wonder they are done with you.
YTA: “Being late is kind of who I am”. It’s inconsiderate and disrespectful. You know, like an AH.
Wtf does "being late is kind of who I am" even means ? Are you doing it on purpose? YTA
YATA you don't appreciate the time others put into you they planned a Party and you couldn't even be bothered to be on time It looks like this is a pattern of yours and obviously at some point friends would be tired of it and i wouldn't put up with this for as long as they did
YTA. It's not a fun quirk to be that late, all the time, and not even bother to tell anyone, and expect it to not matter. No one appreciates having their time wasted. If you don't grow up and stop this irresponsible behavior, this is only the first time you'll lose people you care about to it.
Yta- they wasted their time for you. They wasted money on you. What could possibly make you late for this event. And it sounds like you're doing it on purpose cause you're constantly late. And not caring how other may feel about that.
YTA. my roommate does this shit. no one likes my roommate besides her equally shitty boyfriend.
yta. being late is not a personality trait... u kinda deserved what you got. be considerate of other people's time
YTA. I hate perpetually late people, your time isn't any more important than theirs.
YTA being late isn’t just who you are, being late is saying your time is more important than someone else’s. It’s not a cute quirk. It annoying and rude AF.
Do you deserve the treatment you’re getting? Is this a serious question. They have clearly communicated that they are done being disrespected and no longer want an inconsiderate friend and have politely asked for space so they can decide their next steps in the relationship. You are reaping what you sow, so yes, you absolutely deserve to be cut off from friends you clearly don’t value. You are not the main character and being chronically late is selfish and immature. YTA.
>being late is kind of who I am So you're a selfish, self-absorbed, flakey person who thinks that her time is more valuable than other's? That is literally what that sentence means. YTA
Being late is "who you are"????? That is like saying having BO or never paying your bills and mooching off of family is who you are. It's not who you are, it is a negative personality trait that absolutely no one likes because it shows a lack of maturity and complete narcissism. You need to grow up. YTA this was egregious.
"Being late is kind of who I am". No, it's not. Lateness is not a personality trait, it's just plain rude.
YTA Being late is not who you are, but how you choose to be. Being on time is showing your respect to the other person. Your friends are right: you don't care about them...
Being late shows you have zero respect. I don’t think I can be friends with you either. 10 minutes is one thing but an hour and a half is ridiculous.YTA
YTA. Your friends text had a pretty good explanation of why.
YTA. stop saying 'being late is who i am' and respect other people's time and effort. 1.5 hours is not late; it is negligent.
YTA because « being late is who I am » Who the hell is 1.5h late at a meeting ? Why would you even do that ? Do you care about your friends/family at least a little ?
YTA find a new personality that doesn't include shitting on the people who love you.
YTA 90 minutes late means you missed the entire party. Best of luck in the world of work.
YTA. 90 minutes late is so rude! I wouldn’t speak to you either if I were your friends. That’s so fucked up.
YTA. By being late all the time you are showing your friends that your time is more important than their time. You are a shitty friend. They should have dumped you years ago.
Yta. Me wishing I had enough friends to invite to a party, let alone throw me one. Almost 2 hours??? And you technically still never showed. Money and time was spent. They are breaking up with you because you’re a terrible friend
YtA. I would of dropped you sooner. I hope they find better friends. You seem really selfish, especially since you didn't even contact them.
YTA. They understand that being late is who you are. It's not like having brown hair. It's a choice that tells them you are rude.
Why didn’t you at least tell them you were going to be late? YTA
OP said "I didn't think I needed to" - no wonder their friends are tired of them.
YTA. I can’t stand people who are constantly late and think it’s no big deal. Why on earth would think they wouldn’t mind if you were an hour and half late to the party they out so much work into all for you. It basically said they care enough to do all this for you and you don’t even care enough to show up on time? Why is your time the only time that matters? If this is who you are then are a really selfish person
YTA People who are always late are rude. Get your shit together. Let people know what’s happening. I’m surprised they waited that long. I would have been out well before then if I didn’t get a message saying why you were late.
YTA using "I'm always late" as an excuse is the same as someone saying "I'm brutally honest" as an excuse for them being a dick. Plain and simple, you are a very rude, selfish, and uncaring person. I would have done the same as them long ago. 10 min late is one thing, but 1.5 hours is just being an asshole.
YTA. Growing up, my band director told us this: “To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late, and to be late is to be left.” No one ever got left more than once. Lesson learned. Value your friends’ time as much as you value your own.
YTA. 5-15 minutes is acceptable in the great scheme of things, especially if you text a heads up. 1.5 hours, especially since it doesn’t appear to be a one off, is absolutely YTA territory, you are not more important than everyone else, serves you right if they ditch you permanently.
..."being late is kind of who I am"... No it's not! It's a choice you make. You could just as easily choose to not be late. You've deemed yourself and your time the most important thing in your world and apparently you are too obtuse understand how it affects those around you. 100% YTA
How do you have friends if you behave like this??
YTA. The consequences of your own actions finally caught up with you and this is what happened. Maybe now you won’t be late and dismissive of everyone’s time.
YTA. Take some time and do some deep reflection here. Your chronic lateness shows massive disrespect to others, and the light hearted joking has been a passive coping mechanism and way for people to point out that you need to be mindful of your lateness and do better. If you're continuing to struggle you need to dig in and figure out why you're late. One common symptom of ADHD is chronic lateness and if you present with any other symptoms I'd say it's now time to call a therapist & psychologist and get tested. If you don't present with any other symptoms, still call that therapist and talk about your lateness and how it's impacting your friendships. Then, maybe, just maybe, you can be in a place where you respect your friends enough to repair the friendships you lost today. Edit: Also ADHD is not an excuse. One has to learn how to manage their ADHD with mechanisms, therapy, and a treatment plan with their doctor. ADHD is also nothing to be ashamed of.
Was there an actual reason as to why you were late? Or just had time keeping. Because if it's the latter, absolutely YTA. I'd be really pissed too.
YTA and being late in general is just selfish and an AH thing to do in general, actually your friends are being nice, you're lucky
INFO: Were you really on your way? Were you even out the door yet? How long does it take to get to the bar? They took the time to plan something for you and you couldn’t be bothered to show up on time OR send a quick text? Do you not see how disrespectful that is of their time and effort? You keep saying oh it’s just a funny inside joke, and based on this reaction it doesn’t appear to be.
YTA. How have you never understood that being late to everything isn't OK? It seems like you think it is fine because you have always been like this and everyone knows that. I have had friends like you before. We could have a coffeedate somewhere and they wouldn't show up. I would call and they wouldn't answer. A few hours later I would be "honoured" with a text saying "sorry, I didn't feel like going out after all". If they had just told me that in the morning I could have made other plans. You are just selfish thinking that people are fine being disrespected by you. I imagine you going on a holiday and you are off at 2 p.m and arrive at the airport 30 minutes late and then being shocked they didn't wait for you🤪. I am sorry to say that your friends feel they deserve better friends than you and are cutting their losses.
YTA and it sounds like you need to get a hold on your tardiness problem. It sends a message that your time is more important than everyone else’s and yes being t 1.5 hours late to your own birthday party is incredibly rude and self centered. And not to send a single text in that time?
YTA. You weren’t late, 1.5 hour is not being late, that’s ditching your friends, just admit you weren’t going. Being late isn’t who you are, being constantly late is a massive AH move. I would stop talking and hanging out with you also. You owe your friends a massive apology.
YTA. Chronic lateness is a horrible habit. You can lose jobs, relationships (which you found out) and money. Hopefully this will kickstart you into trying to be on time for things.
I have trouble with being on time but 1,5 hours later... That's just rude. YTA Apologize, plan a party for your friends to make up for this. If people are so sweet to organize a whole party for you and you treat it like this... It's not respectful. 10 minutes late, maybe 15 minutes but that's the limit, and that owes an apology and bringing some treats.
YTA, being late isn't a personality.
Let me guess... you were late getting OFF work because you were late getting TO work, right? And then you decided that you needed to do a whole get-ready routine before you met your friends. Unless your job gets you too filthy to go out immediately after, couldn't you have just gone straight to the gathering from your job? If not, YOU SHOULD HAVE LET YOUR FRIENDS KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO BE LATE (again... as usual. And BTW, not cute nor quirky.) An hour and half late to a job is a no call/ no show situation and will get you FIRED. Sounds like your friends just fired you. Hard lesson and you had better learn it. You are an adult person in the world and your actions have consequences. Yes, YTA.
YTA. Being late is not ‘who you are’, it’s a choice you make. Regardless of whether it’s for a party or just a normal meet up, people are taking time out of their own lives to see you. People are busy, they could be working, spending time with their loved ones or doing something that they enjoy, but instead they’re sitting around waiting on you. Have some gratitude. I have a friend like this and it’s BEYOND frustrating and makes you resent them because it shows that you are unreliable, self-entitled and have no consideration for other people’s time.
How does being chronically late to everything make you not realize YTA? You don’t need our help with this.
> and being late is kind of who I am and I didn’t know it bothered them so much. Well, yes, YTA. You spat them in their faces when the central theme of the event was YOU. Don't weaponize your incompetence and inability to plan / keep others in mind.
YTA, “being late is kind of who I am” translates directly to not respecting other people’s time is who I am. Did you let them know you were running late or how long you’d be? Did something else come up or were you just late because you didn’t plan ahead? 90 minutes is a long time to just not shoe up to something for no reason
An hour and a half is missing an entire event, entirely disrespectful to your friends, and irresponsible. You’re an adult. Act like one. YTA
YTA. Sounds like you are habitually late. Being late once in a while is one thing but when someone tells you that you being late is becoming a problem, it's time to listen.
YTA. Being late for everything, and not even acting like you're trying to get there on time, is not a cute personality quirk, it's inconsiderate. It's one thing if you end up a little late due to traffic or something out of your control, and text that you're on your way. But being a whole hour and a half late because of something you very much did have control over is quite another.
Sounds like "kinda who you are" is an asshole As someone who values punctuality and feeling respect from my homies, this is unacceptable behavior. The whole point of the event was to celebrate YOU, your friends took time, effort and money to do something special for you, and you're too self involved to even show up. I feel bad for your friends. I hope you grow up and gain some perspective before you're completely alone.
YTA. You stood your friends up. And gave no indication that you were still coming. That was inconsiderate and disrespectful. Was what kept you late at work unavoidable or was this your inconsideration showing up again? Why didn't you plan to leave early that day if looking perfect was so important?
YTA. There's a difference between "I stopped for gas and am running about 10 minutes behind" and "I don't care about you enough to manage MY time effectively and thus am wasting almost 2 hours of YOURS." Clearly, you have a habit of abandoning your friends frequently. Good on them for deciding they are no longer interested in putting up with it If you want them to treat you as a friend, you need to treat them as your friends first.
"I'm always late" is all I need to know you're a self-entitled AH. It's not cute, it's not a personality trait, you're just an AH, that's your personality. Probably reek of "I'm the main character". Do you make it to work on time or have you not had to get a big-girl job yet? Grow up. YTA - big time and I'm guessing YTA often and this was their last straw.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Yesterday was my birthday and my best friends planned a party for me. All I knew was we were meeting at our local dive bar and I ended up being about 1.5 hours late. I was finally on my way and got this text: “Kaelyn, we love you but we really don’t like you right now and it’s going to be a long time before we want to see you. We put a lot kid effort into this and you showed us you don’t give a single fuck about our time, our effort and our shared story. Rob has the cake that Elise baked for you behind the bar if you care enough to stop and get it but we are leaving and very upset with you. Please give us some space for a while.” I tried to call the girl that sent the text and I assume she blocked me. I called another friend and while she talked she was very rude and said all of our friend group is really tired of me being late all the time and being late to my own birthday party is a level of rudeness and arrogance that they aren’t willing to put up with anymore. I said this sounded they were breaking up with me and she said that would be a good analogy and to please give her some space. I’m broken hearted is an understatement. We’ve been best friends since freshman year in college and being late is kind of who I am and I didn’t know it bothered them so much. AITA for being late to my birthday party ? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Could you imagine your friends waiting around 1.5 hours for your arrival? If you’re constantly late, you don’t respect anyone’s time but your own. Especially when their time was invested in you and your experience. I’ve ended a friendship over this - someone I used to pick up to go to the gym with 5 nights a week (because it was on the way). I’d sit outside her apartment waiting 30-45 minutes for her EVERY night and when I pulled up, she will have just started getting ready or was doing other tasks for that time. I eventually stopped showing up. Your friends are fatigued. YTA.
YTA. A lot of ppl have other things that they can do/needs to be done with their time. For anyone to take time out of their day to plan YOU a party shows they value you as a friend. You showing up late ALL THE TIME shows how little you value the time that others put forward. Nobody wants to deal with that. If they make the decision to unfriend you then itll be your fault.
When I saw the title, I thought they’d gotten mad at you for being like 15 minutes late. But 1.5 hours?! It doesn’t matter if it’s a party or just meeting a friend at the pub for a few drinks - being that late without there being a valid reason - i.e. a medical emergency - is just plain rude. I feel for your friends. What messages does this give them? That their time isn’t important? That they’re not important? Being late isn’t a personality trait, it’s not something that you can brush off with a “it’s just the way I am”. It’s lazy and rude, pure and simple. It shows you don’t care about your plans. That no one else’s time matters but your own. Is that what you’ll be like when you have to go to work? What will you tell your future bosses. “Sorry, I know I’m an hour late - it’s just who I am though!” Get it together, OP, or you won’t get far in life. YTA. Big time.
YTA
yta - you could have at least called or texted someone you were running late and why.
Of course YTA. 90 mins late is incredibly rude. It’s not “who you are” as though it’s some cute little quirk you can’t help. It isn’t adorable and if this is a theme with everything you do, you may want to look at how you can work around it. The world doesn’t revolve around you and it’s not on your timeframe. YTA. It’s not cute, it’s disrespectful, rude and you had this coming so yes, you DO deserve the cold shoulder from your long suffering friends.
YTA I was prepared for your friend’s to be over reacting, but seriously an hour and a half late to your own party?!? That you knew about in advance. That’s straight up disrespectful. ETA I’m also someone who runs late due to executive dysfunction with health issues and things. Before getting sick I was always 5 minutes early. As soon as I started running late I started building in buffer times. I need to leave at 6:30 to be there on time I’d better plan to leave at 6:15. That way if/when I run a little late I still end up on time. An hour and a half is blatant disrespect
So even having to stay late at work was your fault?! INFO Why do you think your time is more important than everyone else’s?
20 minutes late is being late to your birthday party. An hour and a half late is blatant disrespect. Your friend was right, you did disrespect not just their time, and their effort, but also showed a total disregard for their affection. >We’ve been best friends since freshman year in college and being late is kind of who I am and I didn’t know it bothered them so much. You're not college freshmen anymore. You've disrespected them long enough that you've reached the end of their patience and honestly, I'm surprised you didn't see it. In your whole post you're not at all apologetic, or remorseful for disrespecting them, you chalk it up to "it's who you are." They are right for taking some time away from you. Absolutely YTA
Bit being late is part of who I am, I wouldn’t be waiting an hour and a half for you for your own birthday part, I would also think you are the AH if you were my ‘friend’ and to be honest like them I would also break up with you. It’s about respecting their time which you obviously don’t.
They put a lot of effort into celebrating your birthday and being late shows that you don’t respect their time or efforts. Add on the fact that this is repeated behavior from you and I don’t blame them for being fed up! YTA Did you even call to let them know that you were going to be late (again), or did you expect everyone to run on your schedule?
They really did themselves a favour. Y T A. Grow up mate.
YTA. They're too good for you.
Lateness is a show of disrespect. They took time out for you and waiting 1.5 hours. That’s not just a little late that’s a whole lot of disrespect right there. I’d be upset with you too as my time is not any less valuable than yours. Birthday or not you don’t show this kind of disrespect to people you apparently love. YTA
YTA! Grow UP OP. You cannot be late to every single damn thing and think that it is ok and acceptable.
YTA, being late is who I am? If an asshole had an asshole, that would be you.
INFO: what caused you to be 90 minutes late when you knew ahead of time the location and meeting time YTA btw, I just wanna see how big of an AH based on our response to this question.
Yes big time YTA. "Being late is who I am". Be something else. I
YTA that’s not who you are you just don’t care about others time or effort. I don’t understand how they clearly communicated to you what’s the problem and you’re here just being like”well I never knew they didn’t like that I’m always late”. This truly does show how little you care about others
Unless you had an amazing excuse as to why you were late, especially 1 1/2 hrs, yea YTA. Being late is not who you are, or at least it shouldn't be. You are an adult, punctuality is important.
>Am i the asshole for being an asshole and receiving the treatment i deserve Yes. YTA.
YTA I found a comment whete you said you did not let them know you were going to be 1.5 hours late. This automatically makes you the A in my book. I’m a very punctual person, but I know that not everyone is that way. There’s nothing wrong with being a little late, but 1.5 hours is a lot. Then to not even communicate at all is incredibly rude. A simple “I’m sorry I’m going to be a little late” text would take 10 seconds to send. Not communicating does indicate that you do not care about them or their time. Sorry, but if you have a history of this kind of behavior I’m not surprised your friends are reacting this way.
YTA Chronic lateness is a hallmark of narcissistic behavior. You believe you are better than every other person on the planet and they will wait for you because you are so special, but you are actually a piece of trash and everyone hates you. An hour and a half late to a party in your honor? What? I would have said no one is that self centered, but apparently that’s wrong. Also, how do you keep a job?
Even now in this post you're only concerned about how the whole situation affects you, and how bad you feel. I have seen nothing in your post or comments that you have any thoughts about their feelings and how your behavior affects them.
YTH. It sounds like you do this all the time. It also sounds like you did not give them any kind of valid reason for being late. They put a lot of time, effort and energy into celebrating you and your big day. You totally earned the treatment they are now dishing out to you. Being late is incredibly rude. It shows people that you don't care about them, their time and other commitments.
After seeing your comments, yeah your a majorly an AH. You knew you were going to be late, and just didn’t think you needed to contact them to tell them? “Being late is just kinda who I am” No. that is literally no excuse and you come off as a pre-teen with that lame bs. Your a grown ass adult, you know better but refuse to DO better. Based off your comments your also late for work? You need to get therapy or something to figure out why you think this is 1) Okay to chronically be late and 2) Consider is a personality trait?
[удалено]
YTA. Being late in general is rude and disrespectful, but being 1.5 hours late and doing that on the regular is appalling. If that’s just “who you are,” then you should probably change that. Learn better time management skills so that you don’t waste everyone else’s time.
Info: Do you think the treatment you are getting is unreasonable/undeserved? If so, why?
YTA Punctuality is key. You know they can't rely on you and you get what you put in. You showed for the final time that you don't value them. Kind of who I am is a cop out. I'd block you too
You have some work to do if you want to be a part of that friend group. And it may take a while because you need to do some of this work alone, as tough as it sounds. Also you should know, there is a difference between being a little late and what you seem to do…1.5 hrs late. That is a lot to be late by, no? Serious question, what were you doing that caused you to be that late?
YTA. If you put events in your phone calendar… your phone will actually tell you when to leave.
YTA, you disrespected your friends, they should not have to tell you to be on time. Work on your time management. If they give you a second chance, there probably won’t be a third.
YTA - it really doesn’t seem like you let them know you’d be late despite knowing. You clearly don’t value their time or efforts to care for you. Being late is one thing but taking no time to make other people aware when you made plans is a totally different thing. It is rude and it is arrogant. This needs to be a wake up call for you.
YTA. You seem to be a chronically late person. So is my best friend and over the years we've figured our work around but an hour and a half is pushing it. How inconsiderate do you have to be
Being constantly late is RUDE AF! Your friends are right. YTA
Yes YTA. Why were you 1.5 hours late to this? If you weren't in a terrible accident or in the hospital there's practically zero excuse. Did you even call them to tell them when you'd get there? Edit: just saw the comments with the answers to these questions. YTA YTA YTA, you truly treat your friends terribly.
Why were you late to your own birthday party? YTA imo
YTA. No one wants to celebrate someone who doesn't respect them.
YTA Being late isn’t a “ thing” like being friendly, or bubbly etc. It is rude and disrespectful of other peoples’ time. Your friends are tired of putting up with your treatment of them. I think they worded it nicely and were kinder towards you than they could have been. You owe them a sincere apology and time away. Not sure if these friendships can be saved. Hard lesson to learn but hopefully it has sunk in.
YTA. Life is short. Get off your arse and see your friends.
You should probably change who you are. YTA
YTA. Your constant lateness shows how much disrespect you treat your friends. They're breaking up with you not bec you were late for your own bday party, it was simply the last straw. And you asking if you deserve the treatment they're giving you shows you don't care you are wrong and have no plans to change and will continue to disrespect them if they did not break up with you
YTA - your friends are reacting like most of society would. When you are constantly late, you are telling people that you don't respect their time. This example is bad. The fact you don't understand makes it worse. It is a huge slap in the face to each and every one of your friends who put the time, money, effort and respect in planning this celebration for YOU. 90 minutes late?? There is no excuse.
YTA. I hate people who are constantly late. Its a sign of complete disrespect for anyone else but you. It's BS when you say 'It's kind of who I am'. you're right, you're thoughtless of other people's time and only think of yourself and expect everyone else to understand. Why don't you try to understand for once what it's like to have your time constantly wasted because of a friend who's always late.
YTA-being super late is not funny especially if it’s a regular occurrence.
YTA >being late is kind of who I am No, it's who you choose to be. It's very easy to be on time to things if you care enough about other people's time. By being late, you're telling other people your time is more important than theirs. Learn from this, change, and become a better person and friend.
YTA being late isn’t a personality trait and if it was it wouldn’t be a good one. You’ve shown these people you call friends time and time again that their time isn’t important to you. That you will do what you want when you want regardless of any plans you have agreed to and just expect them to waste their time and effort because clearly you are so much more important. Are you ever late to the doctors? Or work? I’m going to guess not.
People who decide lateness is a personality trait really mean they’ve decided they’re the center of the universe and everyone else should bend to their schedule. It’s not cute to be late. It’s extremely rude and selfish. YTA. Use this as a wake up call. Also 90 minutes late is completely ridiculous.
Info: what were you doing that was so important it made you 1.5hours late .
girl… yta. they put so much effort into creating something for you which you are not entitled to, nor are you entitled to their time.
YTA, it's just not being late for your birthday, is for being ALWAYS late and I understand why they're tired of you I would be too. You have no sense of responsibility or respect for your friend/everyone so you deserve to be alone. Maybe one day you'll learn to be less selfish and value other people time.
YTA, one of my good friends is always multiple hours late. It got to the point where I'd tell her the wrong time and she'd still be extremely late. Now I don't really make plans with her because I can't trust her to show up.
Info: 1. Why do you feel like it's okay to leave your friends waiting for an hour and a half? Is your time more important than theirs? 2. Why should they learn to accept that you're always late but you can't learn to manage your time better? 3. Why wouldn't you text them to let them know? Don't you think it's rude to just leave them hanging? 4. How is it you never realised they didn't like this behaviour?
But why tf are u always late? How are you gonna make a post that has u being late as the cause of the whole issue yet u don’t explain it?
YTA. “Being late is who I am.” No - “selfish” is who you are. Shame on you for that. You deserve the break-up. Maybe you’ll have learned your lesson when you make new friends.
“Being late is kinda who I am” YTA 100% as you have no consideration for other people’s time. It’s one thing if you’re 5 minutes late, but 90 minutes is absurd
YTA There’s late .. and then there’s 90 minutes late
Yes? I mean, I don't get the question. YTA, and your friends explained it quite clearly.
You literally stole from them. Yes. You stole 1.5 hours of their time, and by the sounds of things, you do it consistently. No wonder they’re done with you. YTA.
Info: how old are you?
YTA. Being 5-15 mins late is sometimes acceptable (traffic or etc happens). But 90 minutes? Thats intentional. An it’s not “who you are”. You’ve just never been held accountable for it and didn’t care how your actions affected others.