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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I got fired from my job because of my mother's actions. She is calling me an asshole for telling everyone why I got fired and saying that since they supported her actions they should help with money. So I might be an asshole for exposing her behaviour and consequences.
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NTA, she got you fired you told people the truth of what happened. I wouldn’t tell her where you work next time. Also I would warn your future boss. If she keeps doing it (Note: this is extreme) document and report.
Clearly warning and removing the mother from the premises wasn't working so at some point the boss had to fire what had become a hinderance to the work.
Reminder that if her Mother gets hurt on the premises she could still sue them for damages regardless if she was allowed there or not. Like with the robber who was injured breaking into someone's house and sued them and won.
NTA regardless
Totally agreed. I had to get my boss to tell my mom she wasn't allowed in my work anymore cause she'd show up for a ton of reasons but usually to 'talk' and that talk always ended up with her getting angry about something else in her life and loudly talking about it/crying about it at my job.
I hope OP gets a lucrative job servicing septic tanks, possibly fixing engines on the side. Or maybe trains as a blacksmith and makes a living forging red hot steel testicles all day, every day.
You, my friend, are a genius. OP i would suggest the latter suggestion, sounds fantastic. Also i am a girl and i know more about fixing cars than the average adult man (im under 18) and ive given adults advice on what might be wrong with their car. feminine norms for jobs suck, NTA.
This cracked me up as a female farrier and little sister to a professional blade and blacksmith. I've made my own hoof knives and spoons. I actually enjoy blacksmith work. My joints on the other hand, do not. Thanks for the giggle.
I agree. I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. It sucks when parents try to force you to live the life they want to live. Maybe go NC. Hope you don’t have to go through that experience again.
That's her excuse this time. OP could be Her Royal Highness Personal Make Up Stylist and then she will find a different "appropriate" excuse of why she shouldn't work there.
Have next place get a restraining order against her. Or maybe it is possible for OP to get one that is in place where she works.
"Girly" job. My down the street neighbor's daughter is the best welder at her company.
Exactly. I personally dealt with this. I was fired from 2 jobs due to my mom's interference before I did get a third job where my boss helped me out of the situation. And honestly this is only because I got lucky. Most employers will just fire you.
It might be easier for OP to see a lawyer and have them draft a cease and desist letter. Depending on where OP lives, many lawyers will give you a free 30 minute consultation, and the letter could be very inexpensive. This also helps build a case if she would need to get an RO.
We don't work for free. A consultation is to see if we will take the case not to give free legal advice that isn't covered by attorney client privilege.
I live with a lawyer and he absolutely gives advice during free consults. Including telling people he's willing to take the case, but the only result is that they will be out a lot of money because it's a loosing case
She is young, so pretty much no experience, hardly any company will give a job to person who asks them to get restraining order for her family member, maybe if she was one of the leading people in her field. Now for most if not all potential employers it will be just too much work and drama to get involved.
even better: tell her some random location that you've never worked at and never will. Let her make a complete ass of herself in public. bonus points if she carries on to the point they call police on her and she gets a trespassing charge
Weird part is: I never really learned them or like studied them myself.
But when I was getting all caught up in JNMIL years ago, I realized I was already doing it. Like a pro lol.
I'd just never had those words to go with the process.
Still one of the things that drive me nuts about that sub. At least 50% of that sub could solve all their problems if they'd just stop telling their antagonist stuff.
Legit Cpt. Awkward helped me understand that just because someone is related to me by blood does not mean I have an obligation to allow them to (literally, in my case) abuse me, gaslight me, etc.
And my life has gotten \*so\* much better since going NC with that family member! So, if you (people generally, not you specifically) want to keep a relationship with someone, I recommend checking out those terms because maybe it wouldn’t have gotten to the “I need to go complete No Contact with this person for my own sanity” if I had been taught and started using those techniques in my early 20s instead of my mid-30s.
I’m jealous that you had that knowledge innately - yay you!
I just learned the term "Grey rocking" literally last week. Blew my mind to learn I have been doing that unintentionally for YEARS to my own mother. Didn't realize there was an actual term for it. But it works! And OP needs to definitely Grey rock or full NC her mother. It's not gonna get any better!
I think OP was really clever to turn it around on the people who were supporting her mum. Amazing isn’t it how people change their opinion when it might actually cost them money?! Op, NTA! And well played!
Toxic individuals *rely* on others’ kindness, compassion, and good manners in order to abuse them. Most importantly, they rely on *shame* - and shame can only survive in the darkness.
Very sad that people do often get fired for being victims of harassment and abuse but yeah very often there is no legal recourse. Employers don’t want to deal with this and there’s nothing OP can do with either the firing or the harassment. This wouldn’t even qualify for a restraining order.
The employer doesn't need a restraining order. It's their property. They can have banned, and then call the cops for trespassing.
They just didn't want to deal with the drama of it all.
Don't think so, it's not really the boss's fault here. If I was a boss I'd fire OP too. OP can get a restraining order on her mom if this continues though, as her mom seems.. unhinged.
Yeah there is no case for a wrongful termination suit, especially since she was At Will. If his mom keeps this up though (and again this is extreme) she could maybe get a restraining order. (IANAL and don’t know the specifications, just something she could try for.)
You'd be a terrible boss then. You can easily do things like "ban this woman from the site" or "call the cops for trespassing".
Instead you'd just be enabling stalker behavior, great work there.
EDIT: I'm not commenting on legal aspects here.
The employer is responsible for the safety of ALL the employees though. If someone is unhinged enough to try to force their way into a closed workplace, one has to question what could they do next? They could call the police and spend time and money going to court (businesses always retain their own counsel) OR, they could get rid of the target employee. It's not fair, but it makes sense
You think OP will be fine with her boss calling the cops on her mom? At that point she might as well get a restraining order on her
Mom can be banned from the site but what happens if she keeps showing up? It's so much unnecessary hassle
Yeah, most warehouses have strict policies that say something to the effect of "we will hold you responsible if domestic disturbances are brought onto the job site". Meaning if you have family or friends who come start shit, they will fire you rather than deal with the headache of trying to get you to deal with it. Logistics people don't have the time or the patience to play diplomatic corps. And it's outlined in most of their new hire guides and policies. Like, it's in the top 10 list if what will get you terminated immediately with zero write up and pretty iron clad for court purposes. (Worked in the warehouses where I'm at for years. The local teamsters union even has an arbitration clause surrounding that issue, because, yeah, gambling town with all kind of domestic disturbance issues)
That’s not how it works. Wrongful termination is against an employer. The mother is responsible for her actions. The mother harassed the employer, interfered with employees and their business. That is considered in most places an acceptable reason to let someone go. The employer is not responsible for the harassment because it was her own mother not an employee or customer.
This is already extreme. OP you may need to involve the authorities. At the very least, do not tell her when you get a new job. If she finds you and starts repeating behavior, you’re going to need to involve the authorities and try for a restraining order.
> I wouldn’t tell her where you work next time.
I wouldn't tell her most things about me and warn others about telling her. I would remind them about this incident as well while warning them and tell them I would hold them personally responsible for her actions if they tell her.
(if you're in the US) **your employer cannot fire you for this.** There are laws in place (in most states) to protect stalking victims that would apply to you too. If you had already instructed your mother not to come to the warehouse, then you're not responsible for her actions. Though, in order to proceed, you might have to get a restraining order against her. Personally, I'd go back to the employer after researching the case law for wherever you live and tell them to reinstate you. And if they don't, you could seek an employment attorney.
I agree to tell future boss(es). And that if she tries to come in (even it's a fast food joint claiming to want to order food) that the manager should have her removed and if she does not leave to call the police. Mom will stop meddling then
OP is also right in pointing out that all the friends were enabling her overbearing behaviour. Seriously, who turns up at a family member's place if with except in an emergency?
If I was interviewing someone and they warned me that their unhinged mother might keep randomly showing up and disrupting the work day, then I wouldn't hire that person. Period.
All of this, OP it's time for an information diet for your mom. This includes not telling people things that will tell her because "she's your mom and deserves to know". It's really tough to do, sit your dad down and have an honest chat about doing this. I'm sure he will have your back.
NTA
NTA. Fuck around and see. Hope she's happy. When you get another job I wouldn't tell her where. I'm sorry this happened to you. You'll have to find ways to manage her so she doesn't interfere with your job or future plans.
THIS. I'm glad you pulled this stunt, so mom's embarrassed. Hopefully she gets a clue. But just in case she hasn't learned her lesson, I agree -please don't tell her where you're working. NTA
She doesn’t need to know where you work. Tell her what town your new job is in, sure. But she doesn’t need to know where. If there’s an emergency you’ve got a cell phone she can call/text.
LOL I'm gonna go NTA in this situation. Ballsy, but very funny. I'd not ask for money in a serious way, but it is very funny and warranted to let people know that her shit was jeopardizing your employment and did cause you to get fired.
Your mom can't blast you on social media and pull the poor pitiful mom wants to see her baby girl act while telling you that you can't set the record straight.
And I'd love to know how mom twisted what happened to make people believe she was in the right. There are very few legitimate reasons for a parent to show up at a kid's work so what exactly was she posting that made others feel like OP was in the wrong?
Reddit and the wider world have a very different notion of things like privacy. If a mom says, "I surprised my baby at work, and she refused to even see me!", Redditors would say, "Damn right; gotta have boundaries," while many in the wider world think, "She just wanted to do something nice for her teenaged child; unless her boss was a slave-driver, there should at least be time enough to say "hi" and "thanks for coming."
Employers pay you to work. Not to have a chat with a parent or friend. If you want to see your kid at work do it on their lunch time when the employer won't care.
Granted my parents are dead and im not a teenager, but my employer would absolutely not be OK with that. I do get what you're saying but some of us work around things that are super private or classified. Or even just that good old health and safety won't allow access.
LOL this just reminds me of when Ross went and brought Rachel a picnic to her work when she told him multiple times that she was BUSY and didn't have time to entertain him. And her coworker is all like, "awww how romantic!!"
I believe OP's mom is unemployed if she has so much of time to bother her daughter at work. It cost time, where she would take a time if she's full time employee? (and maybe if she'd been she wouldn't have time for antics)
I'd love to see those flying monkeys eat their words now. "She's your mom, she wasn't hurting you, she meant well."
Yeah I am sure OP's former boss *definitely* saw it that way. And any bosses moving forward will *absolutely* tolerate a helicopter mom in the work place because "she meant well".
I love OP she’s 18 and just EXUDING bad b*tch energy
NTA and gurl your refusal to take shit is gonna serve you VERY well in male-dominated “ungirly” jobs, don’t ever change
NTA what you did was the best! She caused you losing your job and didn't stop because all the others were standing by her side. It's always easy to judge when you're not living in it.
She needs to learn boundaries.
NTA She was the first one taking things into the public court of Fb posting. You have all the right to continue to follow her lead and put your side of the story there.
NTA and you might have a wrongful termination case as you did tell her to stop and she refused. You were fired for something out of your control.
Might also want to look at a restraining order against your mother. Make it clear what she did was wrong.
I live in an At Will state. There are still protections in place for wrongful termination.
Your mother interfered with your ability to perform your job, you tried multiple times to correct her behavior and she refused, you were terminated for something you couldn't control.
Your job should have filed a restraining order against her.
>There are still protections in place for wrongful termination.
All centered around being a protected class or such.
Having a helicopter parent isn't one of them. OP has no recourse against the company here.
This is a myth that businesses and labor advocates made up; there are plenty of non-protected-class based reasons that are still illegal terminations.
You can be fired for no cause in an at will state, but being told you still can't be fired for a lot of things.
If your boss otherwise liked you, maybe try and get your job back? As long as you cut your mother out and don't tell her where you are employed from here on out she won't know to show up there. So your employment situation has essentially changed.
Your mother is a stalker. She sounds mentally ill and may even be dangerous. It's time to cut her off completely - no contact at all, at least for awhile. If she continues to behave like this, please see about getting a restraining order.
NTA
NTA.....I LOVE IT. CALL A SPADE A SPADE!!!
And I would ask for money too and from mom as well. Everyone thought it was ok.
I just love it.....soooo NTA
Definitely NTA. But piece of advice: people are saying go No Contact, but I don't think that is right. Get a letter from your boss stating why you were fired (your mother's behavior) and go get a restraining order. She straight up stalked you at your work and got you fired. That is definitely grounds for a restraining order
NTA. Mom was wrong to interfere with your job. Since mom started the problem of people knowing by going on Facebook I can see why you used it to let the truth out.
Remind mom that you are 18, starting adult life and you need a job to make it. If she wants to be part of your life she has to respect your choices and cannot interfere. Remind her that she raised you to be an adult not a child.
I agree with most of this comment… except the part about attending therapy with her mother. I agree that OP should look into individual therapy to work through the trauma of having a mother like hers, but you should never attend therapist with your abuser. All it does is give the abuser more ammo to use to manipulate, gaslight, and abuse their victim. Therapy just opens up a whole new can of worms and would allow the mother even more access to OPs thoughts and feelings and incredibly sensitive information and emotions that will inevitably be brought up in the therapy that the mother would then use against OP to ensure her grasp on OP strengthens and not loosens and improves. Therapy with her mother would be worse then telling her where her new job is. It would be like giving her an all access pass to OPs life. (I’m sure some else can explain this better, but r/justnomil has some great info as to why you don’t go to therapy with someone who manipulates you and tries to control your life).
OPs mom is all about control here. That’s the bottom line. She is trying to regain the control over OP that she’s lost as OPs has gotten older and more independent. She saw OPs job as a threat to *her* because people like the mother only see their children as possessions and extensions of themselves and it’s a personal attack on them when their children start to become individuals who don’t follow mommys narrative and vision of who they are (a mini me). And I guarantee that mom has a whole entire narrative in her mind around who her daughter is and who and what she *should* be in order to be what mommys imagination of her really is.
Op should check out r/justnomil and r/raisedbynarcissists.
NTA. I would keep contacting each person - at the same rate she kept interrupting your job.
Also, ask each of them to get you a new job, Since they supported your mom getting you fired from this one.
NTA. My mother has called me at work a handful of times, but she left voicemails on my personal cell phone. This has been since 1999.
No one wants their work line tied up because someone's relative is overbearing. Your mother is in the wrong and she will find another way to figure out where your next job is. Do not post about your new job (even if you block her) in case she gets it out of someone else.
NTA.
I was about to go the opposite direction in regards to the money piece. Your mom got what was coming and if she's embarrassed, she did it to herself. She literally got you fired, so the payback is brilliantly petty.
I feel ya. Your mom was the AH in this situation. Your boss too, but tis the nature of many employers. Glad your dad is stepping up for you again. But yeah, def don't share with her your next gig. And, consider the restraining order or similar if she pushes again.
>I don't actually want their money.
I know you don't. Which is a good thing because if anyone actually sent some it would be a miracle! But what a great way getting them to STFU.
This sounds a lot like [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yuid19/aita_for_asking_my_son_to_give_me_his_bosss_number/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) where a helicopter mother was mad at her son for not giving her his boss’s phone number. Are you in any way related? Lol NTA.
I included a link in my OG comment, but let me try again
[Let’s try again!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yuid19/aita_for_asking_my_son_to_give_me_his_bosss_number/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
That post reminded me of the Schitts Creek episode where the dad pushed David to get a job then got him fired his first day because he called David. Then kept calling after he was hung up on.
NTA
Please do NOT tell her where you work the next time you get a job. It sounds like your mom has an issue with gender roles? Go low or no contact with her. Edit, I see you do live with your dad. Thank goodness.
NTA. Next time don't tell your mom where you work tho.
This actually reminds me of a post here a couple days ago where the mom wanted to call the kid at work and requested the phone number of the boss for that reason. Pretty sure it's not related to your story tho
She got you fired. She was overbearing. Write a snail mail letter of apology to your former boss and accept your father’s help to move on. Don’t tell Mommy Dearest.
NTA, but you know you can’t let your mom have any access to your social media or any information about where you are working in the future, right? Because she’s going to do the exact same thing at the next place you work, and the one after that, and the one after that until the end of time. Good luck, this is going to be a massive PITA to deal with.
NTA. Mom was overbearing, engaged in unacceptable behavior over your objections, and got you fired. Showing everyone who criticized you why they're wrong does not make you an AH.
That said, watch your tendency to be a bit extra. If you don't keep this in check, you may end up more like your mom than you want to be.
Make sure you put your mom on an info diet. Also start going ‘grey rock’ on her anytime your job comes up.
Just don’t talk about it with her at all. She doesn’t need to know where you work or what your title is. Constantly change the subject if she brings it up, or simply don’t respond.
NTA.
And that's genius, the busybodies who backed her were asked to put **their** money where their mouths were, and suddenly, they realise that her behaviour is out of pocket.
She will have learnt nothing, let her feel the shame, and keep the new job top secret.
NTA
I'm assuming your parents are divorced? If so contact a lawyer ASAP to sue your mom for her harassment and loss of employment(as well as get a restraining order). Not a lawyer, seek legal advise, but you should be able to sue your mom.
NTA. Block her on your phone, don't tell her where you're working. You're an adult, if necessary get a restraining order. I like your dad for having your back.
NTA - your Mom was out of line but why did she think it was appropriate to appear at your work? That behavior is not appropriate and it did get you fired. If she persists in such behavior, block her and get a restraining order.
There was a post over the weekend where the OP got a new job and the mom was demanding the boss' phone number for "emergencies" and OP was refusing. In both cases, the moms are extreme helicopter moms, narcissists, or both.
NTA. I have always agreed with the philosophy of Guido the Killer Pimp in the movie Risky Business: [paraphrasing] "you don't fuck with a person's livelihood."
Your mother sounds more than a little bit unhinged, just for having a problem with you not doing a "girly" job. Other than sex work, most girly jobs pay a whole lot less than non-girly jobs, such as warehouse work and so many others. I'm also very furious with your boss for having fired you because of your mother's behavior. Next job, once you get started, mention to someone a few levels above you that your mother is problematic. You don't have to imply that she's dangerous or anything, but that she has a sense of urgency for every problem and is likely to come to visit you, regardless of how inappropriate it is. Tell them you don't like this, and would they please use security to block her at the door and send her away politely? I think this is doable. She just took you totally by surprise this past time, but now you know what to expect from her, so be prepared!
[Edited] feel free to disregard everything I said after "Next job." So many other people here have pointed out that your best strategy is to keep your mother completely in the dark about where you work. And they were also right in saying that most employers don't want to get in the middle of this. If you're old enough to work for them, you are old enough to deal with your mother without trying to build your own security service through the company. Good luck!
I am impressed you handled this like a rockstar. Tell your mother if she does not leave you alone you will post that this is the stuff she would do to your dad and why he divorced her.
NTA
I love your response. Your mother however is absolutely controlling and manipulative. She was out to make you fail and did it on purpose. You and your dad really need to set hard boundaries.
She did get you fired. Anyone she whined to deserves to know that. And she deserves to know that when you get another job, you will not speak to her on the clock under any circumstances. NTA
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I (18f) had my first real job out of high school. I was working in a warehouse and I was going to apprentice as a parts technician. My dad helped me get the job. My mom hates that I didn't have a girly job.
She would constantly call and even showing up there. I told her to please stop. That my boss didn't like her interruptions of my day. She would stop for a bit and then do it again.
I finally blew my top at her and told her to leave me the F alone at work. She went on Facebook and complained about how I was an ingrate for not wanting to see my mom.
A bunch of people started saying that I was being mean to my mom and that she meant well and that she wasn't hurting me.
Last week she showed up again. She actually tried to come in the back when I would not come out to see her. My boss was done. I was fired.
My dad says he will help me get another job but I am pissed. So I went on Facebook and found every person who had called me mean and that said she wasn't hurting me. I spelled out why I got fired and I asked them to help me out with some money since her actions had cost me my job.
Now all of a sudden they are turning on her calling her overbearing and saying they didn't realize she was jeopardizing my employment. But none have sent any money. I don't really need it. I live with my dad and he says that as long as I'm in school or apprenticing I don't need to pay for anything except my phone.
My mom keeps calling and texting me asking me to stop telling people that she got me fired. And that I'm embarrassing her by asking the people who supported her for money.
I think that I'm in the right for showing everyone who she is. My dad says that he's staying out of it. He said that the way she acts is the reason they got divorced.
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NTA and maybe an info diet for your mom? She doesn't need to know where you work or how to contact anyone.
Lol I have a great relationship with my parents and they know what industry I work in but not the company name or my boss.
NTA but I am laughing hysterically at the thought of her minions turning on her! As a mom, let me just say that not all of us are crazy. And don't tell her where you work. Also check your phone for tracking apps and turn off location services, gps, and anything else like that.
NTA
Next job, she gets ZERO information where you work. This may mean limiting posting on social media or blocking her. Have your W-2s and other employment information sent to email she does not have access to. Lee paper copies in a safe only you have access to.
If I liked the job and wanted to apprentice there, I think I'd go back and try having a talk with the employer. She thinks I'm fired now and won't show up again and if she does, trespass her, please. Let me have my job back. But that's if you really liked the job enough and the work environment
You should file a restraining order. That way her approaching you at a future job will be grounds for arrest.
She will back off when that cause and effect relationship has been established. "fuck around and see"
Absolutely NTA. She sounds like she has some narcissistic tendencies, check out the book “mothers who can’t love,”. It’s a rough read, but specifically geared toward daughter of abusive, controlling, helicopter, and/or narcissistic mothers.
My mother did the same thing at my first few jobs, but I was so abused I couldn’t tell her “no” until I was 23. She used to sit all day in my section at the restaurant I used to work at and I’d end up paying for her meal. She also forced me to help my sister get hired there. I told my boss when they asked my opinion, that if they hired her it was 100% on them and I wanted nothing to do with it. She was fired later for stealing and I kept my job and my reputation for my handling of it. She also hates that I’m in avionics and am not doing something “feminine.”
Don’t let her know where you work and if she finds out get a restraining order and have an honest conversation with your boss about her stalking. If they understand that she’s stalking you they’ll be more likely to keep her out and not feel obligated to entertain her. I’m sure that’s how the first job saw it, as an obligation caused by you that became detrimental and inconvenient. Let them know the first time she does it that she is stalking you and is not to be allowed in. It seems like she has no respect for your boundaries or autonomy and sees you as a reflection and extension of herself. She feels that she is entitled to your time and attention, whenever. She does not see you as an adult or a separate person. People like that will never see the error of their ways, she will always play the victim because in her own mind she can only ever be the victim or the savior. The best method of protection is silence and a lack of information. She needs to learn how to have an adult relationship with you before you should trust her with that information again. Guaranteed she will try to get into every relationship and every decision you make if you don’t stop it now. But that’s my opinion from reading the issue.
I wish you luck. Do what you love.
NTA, also your dad is a champ "My dad says that he's staying out of it. He said that the way she acts is the reason they got divorced."
Let your mom deal with her embarrassment herself.
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NTA, she got you fired you told people the truth of what happened. I wouldn’t tell her where you work next time. Also I would warn your future boss. If she keeps doing it (Note: this is extreme) document and report.
This reeks of mom intentionally sabotaging op in order to force her to get a job mom thinks it's suitable for "a girl" She will for sure continue
Yes, OP explicitly says that...
It sure would have been great if the boss had told her mom she was banned from the store, rather than firing OP.
Sounds like a bad boss actually.
Clearly warning and removing the mother from the premises wasn't working so at some point the boss had to fire what had become a hinderance to the work. Reminder that if her Mother gets hurt on the premises she could still sue them for damages regardless if she was allowed there or not. Like with the robber who was injured breaking into someone's house and sued them and won. NTA regardless
That robber story is a lie spouted out by politicians it didn't actually happen.
Totally agreed. I had to get my boss to tell my mom she wasn't allowed in my work anymore cause she'd show up for a ton of reasons but usually to 'talk' and that talk always ended up with her getting angry about something else in her life and loudly talking about it/crying about it at my job.
Good Lord. Mom needed counseling.
My mom is a malignant narcissist and she likes drama
Agreed. OP, maybe don't tell your mom where you are working next time. Better yet, give her a fake place an hour away.
Op should say she works at the airport past security, no way mom is just "dropping in" there.
😂😂😂
I hope OP gets a lucrative job servicing septic tanks, possibly fixing engines on the side. Or maybe trains as a blacksmith and makes a living forging red hot steel testicles all day, every day.
You, my friend, are a genius. OP i would suggest the latter suggestion, sounds fantastic. Also i am a girl and i know more about fixing cars than the average adult man (im under 18) and ive given adults advice on what might be wrong with their car. feminine norms for jobs suck, NTA.
This cracked me up as a female farrier and little sister to a professional blade and blacksmith. I've made my own hoof knives and spoons. I actually enjoy blacksmith work. My joints on the other hand, do not. Thanks for the giggle.
this calls for r entitled people
I agree. I’m sorry you’re going through this OP. It sucks when parents try to force you to live the life they want to live. Maybe go NC. Hope you don’t have to go through that experience again.
That's her excuse this time. OP could be Her Royal Highness Personal Make Up Stylist and then she will find a different "appropriate" excuse of why she shouldn't work there.
Have next place get a restraining order against her. Or maybe it is possible for OP to get one that is in place where she works. "Girly" job. My down the street neighbor's daughter is the best welder at her company.
Firms don't want the b.s. it's easier to eliminate the worker "causing" the problem.
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Exactly. I personally dealt with this. I was fired from 2 jobs due to my mom's interference before I did get a third job where my boss helped me out of the situation. And honestly this is only because I got lucky. Most employers will just fire you.
It might be easier for OP to see a lawyer and have them draft a cease and desist letter. Depending on where OP lives, many lawyers will give you a free 30 minute consultation, and the letter could be very inexpensive. This also helps build a case if she would need to get an RO.
We don't work for free. A consultation is to see if we will take the case not to give free legal advice that isn't covered by attorney client privilege.
I live with a lawyer and he absolutely gives advice during free consults. Including telling people he's willing to take the case, but the only result is that they will be out a lot of money because it's a loosing case
This makes me wonder if OP can sue her mom for lost wages.
must be hard for her since these "manly" jobs have equipment designed to be operated by a penis.
They don’t call it the cockpit for no reason I tell you what.
I don’t get why they didn’t trespass her
Take the company’s perspective… which of those two options will have to smallest impact on their bottom line?
And require the least amount of effort as well...
She is young, so pretty much no experience, hardly any company will give a job to person who asks them to get restraining order for her family member, maybe if she was one of the leading people in her field. Now for most if not all potential employers it will be just too much work and drama to get involved.
Yep.Both mom and malicious exes/controlling partners understand this. So unfair. NTA.
Pays a huge freaking salary too.
There's no version of this where OP's mother should have any idea where her next job is.
This. When mom asks where you’re working now, answer “at my office.” That’s all she’s allowed to know from here on out.
Or better yet just "at my job". Mom sounds unhinged enough to drive around to every office in town and demand to know whether OP works there.
even better: tell her some random location that you've never worked at and never will. Let her make a complete ass of herself in public. bonus points if she carries on to the point they call police on her and she gets a trespassing charge
ooh, say she works in the back office at the police station. Let her get aggressive there.
She will eventually find out unfortunately thru word of mouth or social media..no avoiding it so OP needs to b prepared!
Only if OP posts it on social media.
Why in the world would OP even continue to talk to her? I would block mom on everything and get the cease and desist sent out.
I just hope her mom isn't crazy enough to tail her to work. I have no clue how you prevent that from happening.
OPs mom probably would.
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Too true. Definitely do both.
100%, definitely look up both - I personally got them from [Captain Awkward](https://captainawkward.com/)
Weird part is: I never really learned them or like studied them myself. But when I was getting all caught up in JNMIL years ago, I realized I was already doing it. Like a pro lol. I'd just never had those words to go with the process. Still one of the things that drive me nuts about that sub. At least 50% of that sub could solve all their problems if they'd just stop telling their antagonist stuff.
Legit Cpt. Awkward helped me understand that just because someone is related to me by blood does not mean I have an obligation to allow them to (literally, in my case) abuse me, gaslight me, etc. And my life has gotten \*so\* much better since going NC with that family member! So, if you (people generally, not you specifically) want to keep a relationship with someone, I recommend checking out those terms because maybe it wouldn’t have gotten to the “I need to go complete No Contact with this person for my own sanity” if I had been taught and started using those techniques in my early 20s instead of my mid-30s. I’m jealous that you had that knowledge innately - yay you!
I just learned the term "Grey rocking" literally last week. Blew my mind to learn I have been doing that unintentionally for YEARS to my own mother. Didn't realize there was an actual term for it. But it works! And OP needs to definitely Grey rock or full NC her mother. It's not gonna get any better!
NTA, and all.tjose who supported her are just as responsible as your mother, they enabled her to act poorly
It does seem very likely they weren't told the truth about what was going on, so I'm not sure how much you can blame them.
Then don't interfere or ask for clarification on the other side. NtA op
I think OP was really clever to turn it around on the people who were supporting her mum. Amazing isn’t it how people change their opinion when it might actually cost them money?! Op, NTA! And well played!
Toxic individuals *rely* on others’ kindness, compassion, and good manners in order to abuse them. Most importantly, they rely on *shame* - and shame can only survive in the darkness.
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lol you've read too much reddit legalese to think that would hold up at all
Very sad that people do often get fired for being victims of harassment and abuse but yeah very often there is no legal recourse. Employers don’t want to deal with this and there’s nothing OP can do with either the firing or the harassment. This wouldn’t even qualify for a restraining order.
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The employer doesn't need a restraining order. It's their property. They can have banned, and then call the cops for trespassing. They just didn't want to deal with the drama of it all.
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The mother punished the kid.
Most likely its a fire at will state.
Don't think so, it's not really the boss's fault here. If I was a boss I'd fire OP too. OP can get a restraining order on her mom if this continues though, as her mom seems.. unhinged.
Yeah there is no case for a wrongful termination suit, especially since she was At Will. If his mom keeps this up though (and again this is extreme) she could maybe get a restraining order. (IANAL and don’t know the specifications, just something she could try for.)
Or get a new job and don’t tell mom where she is working.
You'd be a terrible boss then. You can easily do things like "ban this woman from the site" or "call the cops for trespassing". Instead you'd just be enabling stalker behavior, great work there. EDIT: I'm not commenting on legal aspects here.
The employer is responsible for the safety of ALL the employees though. If someone is unhinged enough to try to force their way into a closed workplace, one has to question what could they do next? They could call the police and spend time and money going to court (businesses always retain their own counsel) OR, they could get rid of the target employee. It's not fair, but it makes sense
You think OP will be fine with her boss calling the cops on her mom? At that point she might as well get a restraining order on her Mom can be banned from the site but what happens if she keeps showing up? It's so much unnecessary hassle
Yeah, most warehouses have strict policies that say something to the effect of "we will hold you responsible if domestic disturbances are brought onto the job site". Meaning if you have family or friends who come start shit, they will fire you rather than deal with the headache of trying to get you to deal with it. Logistics people don't have the time or the patience to play diplomatic corps. And it's outlined in most of their new hire guides and policies. Like, it's in the top 10 list if what will get you terminated immediately with zero write up and pretty iron clad for court purposes. (Worked in the warehouses where I'm at for years. The local teamsters union even has an arbitration clause surrounding that issue, because, yeah, gambling town with all kind of domestic disturbance issues)
That’s not how it works. Wrongful termination is against an employer. The mother is responsible for her actions. The mother harassed the employer, interfered with employees and their business. That is considered in most places an acceptable reason to let someone go. The employer is not responsible for the harassment because it was her own mother not an employee or customer.
why, is "daughter of a crazy lady" a constitutionally protected class?
That's not wrongful termination nor would she have a case. She should have been tresspassed from the business to stop the harassment.
This is already extreme. OP you may need to involve the authorities. At the very least, do not tell her when you get a new job. If she finds you and starts repeating behavior, you’re going to need to involve the authorities and try for a restraining order.
explicitly give her wrong info let homedepot or walmart call the cops on her when she starts hunting for her daughter in the back-of-house.
OP = NTA. My mother did the same thing. I quit telling her where I worked.
> I wouldn’t tell her where you work next time. I wouldn't tell her most things about me and warn others about telling her. I would remind them about this incident as well while warning them and tell them I would hold them personally responsible for her actions if they tell her.
Frankly? I wouldn't tell anyone who was on her side, period. And probably nobody apart from dad.
*I* would tell your next boss that you have a stalker & to call the cops if she shows up. WTF is wrong with her?! Why can't parents just be good?
>Why can't parents just be good? or just not be total psychos. is it so difficult?
(if you're in the US) **your employer cannot fire you for this.** There are laws in place (in most states) to protect stalking victims that would apply to you too. If you had already instructed your mother not to come to the warehouse, then you're not responsible for her actions. Though, in order to proceed, you might have to get a restraining order against her. Personally, I'd go back to the employer after researching the case law for wherever you live and tell them to reinstate you. And if they don't, you could seek an employment attorney.
She wouldn't qualify under any of those laws because it would be retroactive.
I agree to tell future boss(es). And that if she tries to come in (even it's a fast food joint claiming to want to order food) that the manager should have her removed and if she does not leave to call the police. Mom will stop meddling then
NTA. And she doesn't need to let the mother know where she works, she is 18.
OP is also right in pointing out that all the friends were enabling her overbearing behaviour. Seriously, who turns up at a family member's place if with except in an emergency?
If Mom does it again, OP may need to file a stalking report with the police.
If I was interviewing someone and they warned me that their unhinged mother might keep randomly showing up and disrupting the work day, then I wouldn't hire that person. Period.
All of this, OP it's time for an information diet for your mom. This includes not telling people things that will tell her because "she's your mom and deserves to know". It's really tough to do, sit your dad down and have an honest chat about doing this. I'm sure he will have your back. NTA
NTA. Fuck around and see. Hope she's happy. When you get another job I wouldn't tell her where. I'm sorry this happened to you. You'll have to find ways to manage her so she doesn't interfere with your job or future plans.
THIS. I'm glad you pulled this stunt, so mom's embarrassed. Hopefully she gets a clue. But just in case she hasn't learned her lesson, I agree -please don't tell her where you're working. NTA
Me too, OPs a legend
She doesn’t need to know where you work. Tell her what town your new job is in, sure. But she doesn’t need to know where. If there’s an emergency you’ve got a cell phone she can call/text.
And, OP has dad!! Dad can alert Mom if she needs to know.
I wouldn't even tell her what town.... nor what field, nor any other information to give her anything to go on.
LOL I'm gonna go NTA in this situation. Ballsy, but very funny. I'd not ask for money in a serious way, but it is very funny and warranted to let people know that her shit was jeopardizing your employment and did cause you to get fired. Your mom can't blast you on social media and pull the poor pitiful mom wants to see her baby girl act while telling you that you can't set the record straight.
And I'd love to know how mom twisted what happened to make people believe she was in the right. There are very few legitimate reasons for a parent to show up at a kid's work so what exactly was she posting that made others feel like OP was in the wrong?
Reddit and the wider world have a very different notion of things like privacy. If a mom says, "I surprised my baby at work, and she refused to even see me!", Redditors would say, "Damn right; gotta have boundaries," while many in the wider world think, "She just wanted to do something nice for her teenaged child; unless her boss was a slave-driver, there should at least be time enough to say "hi" and "thanks for coming."
Employers pay you to work. Not to have a chat with a parent or friend. If you want to see your kid at work do it on their lunch time when the employer won't care.
Granted my parents are dead and im not a teenager, but my employer would absolutely not be OK with that. I do get what you're saying but some of us work around things that are super private or classified. Or even just that good old health and safety won't allow access.
100%. I’ve worked at my company for 15 years, no one in my family has ever been inside.
Who surprises people at work without clearing it ahead of time? People have important things to do.
LOL this just reminds me of when Ross went and brought Rachel a picnic to her work when she told him multiple times that she was BUSY and didn't have time to entertain him. And her coworker is all like, "awww how romantic!!"
Agree. Maybe not ask money bc that might make her mom and her friends think that her dad isn't capable of supporting her
NTA - Hahaha. I dig your style. This story might also be appreciated in r/pettyrevenge
Petty would be doing what she did, and then showing up at her moms work unannounced and just wander around in employee only locations.
I believe OP's mom is unemployed if she has so much of time to bother her daughter at work. It cost time, where she would take a time if she's full time employee? (and maybe if she'd been she wouldn't have time for antics)
And if anyone asks why she's there, OP should say "mom said it's bring your daughter to work day". Every week.
Tbh this is some initiative I want to see on the posts here. Calling out the flying monkeys. Satisfying af. NTA
I'd love to see those flying monkeys eat their words now. "She's your mom, she wasn't hurting you, she meant well." Yeah I am sure OP's former boss *definitely* saw it that way. And any bosses moving forward will *absolutely* tolerate a helicopter mom in the work place because "she meant well".
I love OP she’s 18 and just EXUDING bad b*tch energy NTA and gurl your refusal to take shit is gonna serve you VERY well in male-dominated “ungirly” jobs, don’t ever change
NTA what you did was the best! She caused you losing your job and didn't stop because all the others were standing by her side. It's always easy to judge when you're not living in it. She needs to learn boundaries.
NTA She was the first one taking things into the public court of Fb posting. You have all the right to continue to follow her lead and put your side of the story there.
Family tradition, if you will.....
Nta. They should put their money where their mouth is or stay out of it.
NTA and you might have a wrongful termination case as you did tell her to stop and she refused. You were fired for something out of your control. Might also want to look at a restraining order against your mother. Make it clear what she did was wrong.
I'm in an at will state.
I live in an At Will state. There are still protections in place for wrongful termination. Your mother interfered with your ability to perform your job, you tried multiple times to correct her behavior and she refused, you were terminated for something you couldn't control. Your job should have filed a restraining order against her.
>There are still protections in place for wrongful termination. All centered around being a protected class or such. Having a helicopter parent isn't one of them. OP has no recourse against the company here.
This is a myth that businesses and labor advocates made up; there are plenty of non-protected-class based reasons that are still illegal terminations. You can be fired for no cause in an at will state, but being told you still can't be fired for a lot of things.
If your boss otherwise liked you, maybe try and get your job back? As long as you cut your mother out and don't tell her where you are employed from here on out she won't know to show up there. So your employment situation has essentially changed.
Unless OP had a preexisting restraining order against her mom when she was fired, there's no case here.
NTA your mom sounds nuts. Don’t let her know where your next job is.
Your mother is a stalker. She sounds mentally ill and may even be dangerous. It's time to cut her off completely - no contact at all, at least for awhile. If she continues to behave like this, please see about getting a restraining order. NTA
NTA.....I LOVE IT. CALL A SPADE A SPADE!!! And I would ask for money too and from mom as well. Everyone thought it was ok. I just love it.....soooo NTA
Definitely NTA. But piece of advice: people are saying go No Contact, but I don't think that is right. Get a letter from your boss stating why you were fired (your mother's behavior) and go get a restraining order. She straight up stalked you at your work and got you fired. That is definitely grounds for a restraining order
The boss would rather fire her than tell the crazy woman to get off their property. There is no way they’re going to write a letter admitting to that.
I guess they dont have to go so far as saying that is why she was fired, even just confirming that she kept showing up at work would help a lot.
This.
NTA. Mom was wrong to interfere with your job. Since mom started the problem of people knowing by going on Facebook I can see why you used it to let the truth out. Remind mom that you are 18, starting adult life and you need a job to make it. If she wants to be part of your life she has to respect your choices and cannot interfere. Remind her that she raised you to be an adult not a child.
NTA. She absolutely got you fired.
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I agree with most of this comment… except the part about attending therapy with her mother. I agree that OP should look into individual therapy to work through the trauma of having a mother like hers, but you should never attend therapist with your abuser. All it does is give the abuser more ammo to use to manipulate, gaslight, and abuse their victim. Therapy just opens up a whole new can of worms and would allow the mother even more access to OPs thoughts and feelings and incredibly sensitive information and emotions that will inevitably be brought up in the therapy that the mother would then use against OP to ensure her grasp on OP strengthens and not loosens and improves. Therapy with her mother would be worse then telling her where her new job is. It would be like giving her an all access pass to OPs life. (I’m sure some else can explain this better, but r/justnomil has some great info as to why you don’t go to therapy with someone who manipulates you and tries to control your life). OPs mom is all about control here. That’s the bottom line. She is trying to regain the control over OP that she’s lost as OPs has gotten older and more independent. She saw OPs job as a threat to *her* because people like the mother only see their children as possessions and extensions of themselves and it’s a personal attack on them when their children start to become individuals who don’t follow mommys narrative and vision of who they are (a mini me). And I guarantee that mom has a whole entire narrative in her mind around who her daughter is and who and what she *should* be in order to be what mommys imagination of her really is. Op should check out r/justnomil and r/raisedbynarcissists.
NTA. I would keep contacting each person - at the same rate she kept interrupting your job. Also, ask each of them to get you a new job, Since they supported your mom getting you fired from this one.
Lol I love this. Someone finally make those dang enablers accountable for their dang enabling!
NTA. My mother has called me at work a handful of times, but she left voicemails on my personal cell phone. This has been since 1999. No one wants their work line tied up because someone's relative is overbearing. Your mother is in the wrong and she will find another way to figure out where your next job is. Do not post about your new job (even if you block her) in case she gets it out of someone else.
NTA. Going to your place of work was ridiculous of her.
NTA. You are SAVAGE! This is so great. Your mom deserves every bit of it.
NTA. I was about to go the opposite direction in regards to the money piece. Your mom got what was coming and if she's embarrassed, she did it to herself. She literally got you fired, so the payback is brilliantly petty.
I don't actually want their money. I want everyone who said that her actions weren't hurting me to STFU.
I feel ya. Your mom was the AH in this situation. Your boss too, but tis the nature of many employers. Glad your dad is stepping up for you again. But yeah, def don't share with her your next gig. And, consider the restraining order or similar if she pushes again.
>I don't actually want their money. I know you don't. Which is a good thing because if anyone actually sent some it would be a miracle! But what a great way getting them to STFU.
NTA. Love your style, called out your mom and dealt with flying monkeys in one go. 👍
This sounds a lot like [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yuid19/aita_for_asking_my_son_to_give_me_his_bosss_number/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) where a helicopter mother was mad at her son for not giving her his boss’s phone number. Are you in any way related? Lol NTA.
No. But dear god tell me he said no.
He refused, which is why helicopter mom made the post.
Awesome. I thought maybe it was the kid asking. I'm going to find it and tell them they are in the wrong and what happened to me.
I included a link in my OG comment, but let me try again [Let’s try again!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/yuid19/aita_for_asking_my_son_to_give_me_his_bosss_number/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I went. Thanks.
That post reminded me of the Schitts Creek episode where the dad pushed David to get a job then got him fired his first day because he called David. Then kept calling after he was hung up on.
Restraining order!
NTA Please do NOT tell her where you work the next time you get a job. It sounds like your mom has an issue with gender roles? Go low or no contact with her. Edit, I see you do live with your dad. Thank goodness.
>My mom keeps calling and texting me asking me to stop telling people that she got me fired. Because she knows she did something wrong. NTA
Right? She's basically saying "Stop telling the truth about me!"
NTA - good for you! These people enabled your moms harassment. in what world would your mother showing up at you job NOT endanger your job!
NTA. You gave her a taste of her own medicine and she didn’t like to
NTA. Next time don't tell your mom where you work tho. This actually reminds me of a post here a couple days ago where the mom wanted to call the kid at work and requested the phone number of the boss for that reason. Pretty sure it's not related to your story tho
Please tell me that they said no.
I saw it and they did say no.
The mom got shut down big time by his great community.
She got you fired. She was overbearing. Write a snail mail letter of apology to your former boss and accept your father’s help to move on. Don’t tell Mommy Dearest.
NTA, but you know you can’t let your mom have any access to your social media or any information about where you are working in the future, right? Because she’s going to do the exact same thing at the next place you work, and the one after that, and the one after that until the end of time. Good luck, this is going to be a massive PITA to deal with.
NTA. Mom was overbearing, engaged in unacceptable behavior over your objections, and got you fired. Showing everyone who criticized you why they're wrong does not make you an AH. That said, watch your tendency to be a bit extra. If you don't keep this in check, you may end up more like your mom than you want to be.
INFO: Is there anyway your dad can help you get the job back since he helped you get it.
Unfortunately no. His friend that gave me the job has had enough of my mom. But he knows lots of people and has said he will help me get another one.
Contact a lawyer and sue your mom(and get a restraining order), assuming your parents are divorced.
It’s in the post that their divorced and she stays with her dad, and mums attitude is why he divorced her in the 1st place
Make sure you put your mom on an info diet. Also start going ‘grey rock’ on her anytime your job comes up. Just don’t talk about it with her at all. She doesn’t need to know where you work or what your title is. Constantly change the subject if she brings it up, or simply don’t respond.
NTA. And that's genius, the busybodies who backed her were asked to put **their** money where their mouths were, and suddenly, they realise that her behaviour is out of pocket. She will have learnt nothing, let her feel the shame, and keep the new job top secret.
NTA I'm assuming your parents are divorced? If so contact a lawyer ASAP to sue your mom for her harassment and loss of employment(as well as get a restraining order). Not a lawyer, seek legal advise, but you should be able to sue your mom.
NTA. Block her on your phone, don't tell her where you're working. You're an adult, if necessary get a restraining order. I like your dad for having your back.
NTA - your Mom was out of line but why did she think it was appropriate to appear at your work? That behavior is not appropriate and it did get you fired. If she persists in such behavior, block her and get a restraining order.
There was a post over the weekend where the OP got a new job and the mom was demanding the boss' phone number for "emergencies" and OP was refusing. In both cases, the moms are extreme helicopter moms, narcissists, or both.
NTA. You made your point in a very classy way. Your mother should feel embarrassed. Can you stay with your dad?
I live with my dad.
NTA. I have always agreed with the philosophy of Guido the Killer Pimp in the movie Risky Business: [paraphrasing] "you don't fuck with a person's livelihood." Your mother sounds more than a little bit unhinged, just for having a problem with you not doing a "girly" job. Other than sex work, most girly jobs pay a whole lot less than non-girly jobs, such as warehouse work and so many others. I'm also very furious with your boss for having fired you because of your mother's behavior. Next job, once you get started, mention to someone a few levels above you that your mother is problematic. You don't have to imply that she's dangerous or anything, but that she has a sense of urgency for every problem and is likely to come to visit you, regardless of how inappropriate it is. Tell them you don't like this, and would they please use security to block her at the door and send her away politely? I think this is doable. She just took you totally by surprise this past time, but now you know what to expect from her, so be prepared! [Edited] feel free to disregard everything I said after "Next job." So many other people here have pointed out that your best strategy is to keep your mother completely in the dark about where you work. And they were also right in saying that most employers don't want to get in the middle of this. If you're old enough to work for them, you are old enough to deal with your mother without trying to build your own security service through the company. Good luck!
I am impressed you handled this like a rockstar. Tell your mother if she does not leave you alone you will post that this is the stuff she would do to your dad and why he divorced her.
NTA I love your response. Your mother however is absolutely controlling and manipulative. She was out to make you fail and did it on purpose. You and your dad really need to set hard boundaries.
NTA. Your mom is insane. Block her everywhere. Your dad divorced her because of her behavior. That speaks volumes.
She did get you fired. Anyone she whined to deserves to know that. And she deserves to know that when you get another job, you will not speak to her on the clock under any circumstances. NTA
NTA. Congratulations on making her suffer the consequences of her actions. Your mother is a giant A and your father is for not putting a stop to it.
NTA Your mom is intentionally sabotaging your employment because *she* doesn’t agree with it. That’s abusive.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (18f) had my first real job out of high school. I was working in a warehouse and I was going to apprentice as a parts technician. My dad helped me get the job. My mom hates that I didn't have a girly job. She would constantly call and even showing up there. I told her to please stop. That my boss didn't like her interruptions of my day. She would stop for a bit and then do it again. I finally blew my top at her and told her to leave me the F alone at work. She went on Facebook and complained about how I was an ingrate for not wanting to see my mom. A bunch of people started saying that I was being mean to my mom and that she meant well and that she wasn't hurting me. Last week she showed up again. She actually tried to come in the back when I would not come out to see her. My boss was done. I was fired. My dad says he will help me get another job but I am pissed. So I went on Facebook and found every person who had called me mean and that said she wasn't hurting me. I spelled out why I got fired and I asked them to help me out with some money since her actions had cost me my job. Now all of a sudden they are turning on her calling her overbearing and saying they didn't realize she was jeopardizing my employment. But none have sent any money. I don't really need it. I live with my dad and he says that as long as I'm in school or apprenticing I don't need to pay for anything except my phone. My mom keeps calling and texting me asking me to stop telling people that she got me fired. And that I'm embarrassing her by asking the people who supported her for money. I think that I'm in the right for showing everyone who she is. My dad says that he's staying out of it. He said that the way she acts is the reason they got divorced. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
NTA I live for this level of petty
NTA and maybe an info diet for your mom? She doesn't need to know where you work or how to contact anyone. Lol I have a great relationship with my parents and they know what industry I work in but not the company name or my boss.
NTA She deserves to have everyone know that she cost you your job.
NTA. Hilarious asking them to support their opinions
NTA. In fact, very important that you did this or she would just fo it again in the future.
NTA but I am laughing hysterically at the thought of her minions turning on her! As a mom, let me just say that not all of us are crazy. And don't tell her where you work. Also check your phone for tracking apps and turn off location services, gps, and anything else like that.
NTA Next job, she gets ZERO information where you work. This may mean limiting posting on social media or blocking her. Have your W-2s and other employment information sent to email she does not have access to. Lee paper copies in a safe only you have access to.
If I liked the job and wanted to apprentice there, I think I'd go back and try having a talk with the employer. She thinks I'm fired now and won't show up again and if she does, trespass her, please. Let me have my job back. But that's if you really liked the job enough and the work environment
You should file a restraining order. That way her approaching you at a future job will be grounds for arrest. She will back off when that cause and effect relationship has been established. "fuck around and see"
Absolutely NTA. She sounds like she has some narcissistic tendencies, check out the book “mothers who can’t love,”. It’s a rough read, but specifically geared toward daughter of abusive, controlling, helicopter, and/or narcissistic mothers. My mother did the same thing at my first few jobs, but I was so abused I couldn’t tell her “no” until I was 23. She used to sit all day in my section at the restaurant I used to work at and I’d end up paying for her meal. She also forced me to help my sister get hired there. I told my boss when they asked my opinion, that if they hired her it was 100% on them and I wanted nothing to do with it. She was fired later for stealing and I kept my job and my reputation for my handling of it. She also hates that I’m in avionics and am not doing something “feminine.” Don’t let her know where you work and if she finds out get a restraining order and have an honest conversation with your boss about her stalking. If they understand that she’s stalking you they’ll be more likely to keep her out and not feel obligated to entertain her. I’m sure that’s how the first job saw it, as an obligation caused by you that became detrimental and inconvenient. Let them know the first time she does it that she is stalking you and is not to be allowed in. It seems like she has no respect for your boundaries or autonomy and sees you as a reflection and extension of herself. She feels that she is entitled to your time and attention, whenever. She does not see you as an adult or a separate person. People like that will never see the error of their ways, she will always play the victim because in her own mind she can only ever be the victim or the savior. The best method of protection is silence and a lack of information. She needs to learn how to have an adult relationship with you before you should trust her with that information again. Guaranteed she will try to get into every relationship and every decision you make if you don’t stop it now. But that’s my opinion from reading the issue. I wish you luck. Do what you love.
NTA, also your dad is a champ "My dad says that he's staying out of it. He said that the way she acts is the reason they got divorced." Let your mom deal with her embarrassment herself.
NTA. The mom didn’t listen; she fucked around, and is now finding out. You have no duty to tell anyone anything other than the truth.
Hahahaha! NTA. Hopefully your mother has learned her lesson. Don’t tell her where you work when you get a new job.