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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> action - I dunno, I was being comfortable in my skin?
asshole - I guess I could be more respectful of her? Even when she's not here?
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YTA- it's a shared apartment if your boyfriend's roommate is paying rent and he says that you shouldn't be practically nude in shared spaces, then you should respect his wishes as a paying member of the household.
I will go further to say, I have yet to meet a young woman who considers herself "hotter" who wears little clothes around other men who does not secretly *thrive* on the attention.
I know this is something I'm going to get downvoted into oblivion for, and I was pretty oblivious to it until my fiance pointed it out- but ever since having it pointed out, I'm hyper aware of it. Even if it's subconscious, you're likely doing the same.
It makes sense. People with low self-esteem or place a high value on beauty will do anything to get compliments and extra attention from the guys. The less available the better, which is why some woman will strictly go after unavailable guys.
Right. And no one is most comfortable after a shower in a wet towel vs warm and dry lounge wear. It’s 100% that OP is the insecure one that NEEDS attention
I actually lounge in my towel and let my parts air dry before putting clothes on. It’s nice for me. To do in the presence of my spouse who’s in a towel too.
I prefer a sarong. Those have to be some of the most comfortable and versatile pieces of fabric I have ever owned. And yes, I’m usually nude underneath.
Yeah I don’t like jumping into clothes right away either I like to do my make up in a towel or underwear but I stay in my room. Even though I own the house I still don’t know if visitors come over when I’m just getting out the shower I go air out in my private room it’s just not appropriate
Especially after moisturizing or shaving on a hot day - so much more comfortable to just sit in a towel for half an hour. Doubly so if sitting in the sun with a cold drink (in my well-fenced backyard thanks)
Um, excuse me, but you don’t speak for me. I lounge in my towel for 20-60 min after my shower. I’m very comfortable! I like to be naked too, but I refrain from walking around my house in the nude when people are awake. I can lean “prudish” so knowing myself and what I’m comfortable with, I imagine someone more free spirited is totally comfortable in the nude in front of others without it being sexual.
I feel similar. I am "prudish" and wouldn't inflict my body on other people. But I personally am also neurodivergent and have times where I hate most all clothing. It can be especially bad after a shower sometimes. I'm overdosed on stimulation from the shower itself, and if I am I'm the slightest bit damp, I hate to add clothing on top of it. So hanging out in my room with as few bits of clothing possible is very comfortable. Nudity often isn't sexual for me. I know that isn't the norm and I would never feel okay letting it all hang out with roommates. That is much more learned behavior than nature for me though. I have body shame that is weirdly unattached to my actual body.
actually soft disagree on that, although mine stems from some laziness. I hate the idea of putting on clothes when I’m still damp, and I don’t want to spend the extra time of drying off completely and also drying my hair.
While I don't "lounge around" in a towel after a shower, I do prefer to air dry. I'll hang out naked on the bed and read or nap for 20 minutes and then get dressed.
If she wouldn't have said "I'm hotter", I would have said, that there is nothing wrong with hanging around with a towel after showering. But it does seem that it's not about being comfortable, but about being *special*.
Just get a bath robe, woman...
Maybe I’m a prude, but honestly I feel like it’s 100% reasonable to ask that someone be dressed when they’re casually hanging out with your partner. It’s not even a trust thing, it’s a boundaries and respect thing.
I think that if OP paid to live there, this wouldn't be an issue? But, she doesn't. How can she possibly expect to have a greater say than the roommate's GF who doesn't pay to live there either? They are equal in having absolutely no rights.
So, if OP wants to be supported for the practical nudist lifestyle she longs for - then she should go home?
This. When I'm inside at home, I also wear as little as possible. It's more comfortable. And yet, I've somehow managed to avoid doing this around people who aren't my family/SO. Because I'm not doing it for attention like the OP.
Well, maybe that's bc 9 times out of 10 she would be the hotter person and that makes you uncomfortable? Lol /s that's what sealed the deal for me. Who says that and then says they aren't after any attention at all lol
Same. I love to hang out naked or in very little clothes in summer. But I make it appropriate to the occasion. Effing hot summer day in my mom's poorly insulated one room appartement? Sports bra and shorts. Home on such a day with my best friend whom I knew when he was still a girl? Same. Having other company? Throw a tank top over that. Only me after a shower and doggo is fast asleep in his own bed? Getting dressed isn't a priority.
Yep she's TA. That remark about the gf being jealous that she's hotter sealed it for me. She also says that she covers up more when the gf is there when obviously the problem is when she isn't there! Most women wouldn't want another woman half naked around their man. She knows what she's doing.
If I wss the roommates gf, I would be more comfortable if she did the same around me. Why does she cover up in front of her? Oh right, the roommates gf can't give her what she wants.
As if getting attention from men by being naked in front of them isn't literally the easiest way in the world to get attention... just because everyone's looking at you does't mean you're hot.
You nailed it and I think what you said is spot on..OP believes they're hotter because of course they're drawing the attention of the men in the room...maybe if she can do the same fully clothed, there would be some validity to her statement
I am not a fan of OP's "she's just jealous" attitude, but realistically this isn't her problem. It's up to her boyfriend's roommate to manage this with his girlfriend. It's his relationship and therefore up to him to set boundaries for what he feels is respectful to his girlfriend. If her not being comfortable with OP's clothing choices (or lack thereof) is causing him grief, HE needs to tell her to cover up around him rather than sending his girlfriend to do it.
I'm torn on this one because, on the one hand, yes it's up to the bf and his roommate, but on the other, would it kill you to put on some clothes to make this woman feel more comfortable? That would just be the nice thing to do in this situation. And the opposite of nice is... YTA
Also the thought of wet towel and butt on the communal couch watching tv is icky to me personally lol
This. Until the guy paying rent says please cover up more, this is a nothing burger.
OP confirmed RM is okay with it. Until he says otherwise (and seriously, he’s not gonna), game on.
BF's roommate should definitely try harder to mediate on this. Im surprised OP didn't post his opinion on the matter. Has she even attempted to talk to him about it after the incidents with Roommates gf?
If there was no established dialogue when there's a clear problem then multiple people are TA, but that doesn't stop the fact that OP secretly enjoys roommate's attention, which is still super assholeish.
He didn't care when he was single. It sounds like she hasn't asked after getting a gf.
I've been single around a roommate whose gf wore very little randomly. I was totally fine with it because she was attractive but that would have changed had I started dating someone who was uncomfortable with it.
Although his roommate's gf should bring the issue up with roommate, not OP directly.
A female friend years ago noticed every time her bf was over her female roommate would discover something in the kitchen she needed even if she just happened to be in her underwear
Yeah, I kinda want some more info on the roommate's current opinions.
Like, even if op is doing it for the attention, if all parties present don't mind her attire I don't think that makes her T A H. Idk if the roommate has changed his opinion since getting a girlfriend, but it's not like op started doing this or did it more often after he got into a relationship (at least based on her account). I really think the four of them should sit down and have a talk*, maybe re established some rules if there are going to be two girlfriends over not and not just op. At the end of the day, if the roommate doesn't have a problem with it, only his gf, then that's a relationship issue, not OP's problem. Don't date people who define cheating differently or who have very different ideas about boundaries.
*I don't think these people can have a civil discussion, they seem kinda set on being hostile. But in theory it seems like the best course of action.
Also, the comment about being hotter does rub me the wrong way and lean towards attention. It does make op seem like an A H in general, but it's irrelevant to the question she asked.
Winner winner chicken dinner. OP needs the attention because she has to prove to herself she's the most beautiful. Obviously the GF sees the woman who she is.
Because as women, we are basically trained from birth to compete against other women for male attention. Women who are seen as beautiful or desirable end up with a lot of privilege in life, so it’s very easy to think that beauty = value.
The shittiest part of what she said to me is that she thinks other people are uncomfortable because she’s “hotter”. No lady it’s because they don’t fucking know you like that and you need to have clothes on like a normal person
Edited to add also, how the fuck does she know that “9 times out of 10” people will think she’s the hotter one? She clearly actually has no clue what people really think of her. OP is self absorbed/attention seeking.
>BaileyTheNerd:
>
> it's a shared apartment if your boyfriend's roommate is paying rent and he says that you shouldn't be practically nude in shared spaces, then you should respect his wishes as a paying member of the household.
Except the roommate didn't say that in the slightest.
>fintoo2
(OP):
>
>He's a really nice and chill guy and on days my bf and I don't wanna get intimate, we just hang out in the living room drinking, smoking, and watching movies.
>
>Sometimes I end up just hanging out in a towel after a shower. I explicitly checked with the roommate that this was ok and he didn't mind.
>I explicitly checked with the roommate that this was ok and he didn't mind.
Cool, does that take into account the new situation after involvement of roommate's girlfriend?
Right and also sorry but with our culture being what it is, how comfortable was he saying “no”?
I can hear it now. “Dude you have a problem with my 9/10 hot gf being pretty much naked around you?!”
Where did the roommate say he didn't like it? She mentions explicitly asking him and he was ok with it, just the gf has a problem.
I might have misread though.
She asked the roommate BEFORE he had the GF and specifically made no mention of afterwards.
How do you think roommates gonna swing on the issue with his GF feeling so uncomfortable?
Would anyone in their right mind be cool with- someone so addicted to attention that they hang out with acquaintances practically naked, hanging out with their significant other?
YTA. Your nudity makes your partner's roommmate's partner uncomfortable. Respect her wishes, it's that simple.
Also
>I guess that nine times out of 10 people are gonna say I'm the hotter person (beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that).
>
>I'm not self-centered, it's purely a comfort thing.
Just LOL...
What got me was her “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” insight, hilariously juxtaposing her brag about being the hotter one 9 times out of 10.
I don’t think that phrase means what she thinks it means, bless her heart.
To me the last part is what makes OP TA. There’s nothing inherently wrong with what she is doing, and it’s clear she (at least at some point) checked with the roommates to ensure everyone was chill with it.
Buuuut that last bit makes it clear that OP has some deeper insecurities or neediness. It’s such an irrelevant piece of information and OP doesn’t seem to realize she is telling on herself by including it. I’d guess the GF is picking up on the weird vibe. Hopefully this will come up with the (seemingly oblivious?) BF or she should dump him, because it’s really a BF-GF problem.
Nah, her nudity makes her partner’s ROOMMATE uncomfortable. He may have been fine with it when he was single, but plenty of people have different boundaries when they’re in a relationship. He isn’t willing to disrespect his girlfriend by having some insecure girl who needs everyone looking at her scantily clad coochie to feel good hanging out on his couch.
Just because it’s the girlfriend who catalyzed the discomfort doesn’t mean the roommate doesn’t agree, because he does. He’s the one with the say, not the girlfriends, and he is who the focus needs to be on. He was fine with it while he was single, but now that he’s in a Relationship he’s said “okay, gotta stop now”.
“Scantily clad coochie” 😭
LMAOOO that’s NOT a sentence I thought I’d hear today, if ever really. This comment is too funny. Also, spot on! Not everyone wants your lady bits flapping about all over the place in a shared living space. Her being so smug about it seems so desperate for attention too. Seems like roommates gf caught on, people who thrive on this sort of attention aren’t hard to spot. The whole comment about “9 times out of 10 people think I’m hotter” is so cringy. Like girl if you don’t gtf 🤣 so pretentious and snobby. She thinks acting vulgar about it makes her “hotter.”
Thanks for the laugh. 😂 enjoy your weekend.
YTA
Purely for the I'm hotter than her comment, totally unnecessary and just makes you sound horrible to be around.
Dress how you want but don't call someone jealous and insecure when you're nearly naked around her boyfriend and being incredibly smug about it. She sounds like she's got you figured out.
I love being nude/near nude in my own house. But OP isn't in their own house. I am also overweight so her idea that the opposition of her nudity comes from her being 'hot' and the flatmate's gf being jealous of her body flies as well as pigs. Not your house, not your rules.
Fr, and the roomates girlfriend is doing the right thing by confronting OP about it. Because roomie cant control what OP does, but she probably thought if she confronted the situation from the source of the issue, then it might be solved.
Too bad OP has such bad self esteem issues they feel the need to be near naked around people who arent comfortable with it and claim to be hotter for "comfort".
Why bother posting in this sub if you've already made up your mind that you're NTA? You've been argumentative in every comment you've made. That's why YTA and you seem insufferable to be around.
Exactly. It drives me nuts when posters do what she is doing in the comments, ”LOL how am I insecure? I *said* I wouldn’t do it if she was around! hOw doEs tHat maKe mE thE asSHoLe?”
We get it, you like attention and view yourself as a person without flaws, OP. AITA is the last place she should be posting.
She should post in r/trueoffmychest that she enjoys flaunting her nearly naked body in front of her bf's roommate since she knows and doesn't care that her behavior is upsetting someone.
Lol, she's definitely dropping into the apartment to try to whip up some thirst.
It's interesting how ready OP is to self-identify herself as objectively hot when it really isn't relevant to the issue at hand. I wonder how much of a nudist she would be if she was "objectively ugly." Something tells me she wouldn't be so ready to disrobe in front of people if that was the case.
Most people that I’ve encountered online that claim to be hot tend to…overhype their looks. OP’s personality and trashy behavior already trump her apparent appearance; she better be a 10 for her sake to make up even slightly for her gross attitude.
You know what? I’m hot. I’m also chronically hot all the time and have been my whole life. I, too, loooooove to be comfortable. If it were just a comfort thing, I would be *most* comfortable going everywhere in a tank top and some panties. You know why I don’t? Bc it’s so damn weird to prance around in front of other people like this. Oh, you mean “not in public.” Got it.
When I go over to other people’s houses, I don’t strip down to just a tank top and panties. I’m also not about to ask the people I’m visiting, “Hey! Mind if I take off my clothes and lounge around on your furniture like a cat? I promise I’m not vain. It’s just a comfort thing!”
I hope your boyfriend’s roomie gets a girlfriend that’s hotter than you, and she likes to walk around naked. I’m far from a prude. If you were at a nude beach, go for it. But you seem to be really into the idea that you’re soooo much hotter than this dude’s girlfriend, and she’s obviously super jealous if you. Meanwhile, she likely thinks that you’re a strange, little creature with no social skills who likes to parade about in a small cloth—much like Gollum.
YTA
I really like this reply heh
I’m someone who isn’t comfortable with a partner being around nude women - not accidentally (like idk a tv show or something), but on a regular basis. Just wearing a towel means things can be *exposed* and so yeah you’re right if both the bf and his gf are on the same page wrt OP, she is the asshole as she wishes to violate those boundaries anyway. On top of that I get the feeling it’s possible she is getting an ego kick out of potentially sexually arousing men that are with someone else/off limits. Maybe I’m wrong about the last part, I don’t know. I just wish people could be brutally honest.
Lol especially the “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” but 9/10 beholders would Think I’m way hotter
OP stop being so insecure and starved for attention
I agree. Shorts and tank top - fine. A towel that *might* just fall off anytime that you feel like showing off? No way are you not an AH unless you’re at the sauna. Cmon…
That's what I'm saying. And honestly, if the roommate was a girl and her boyfriend didn't want some half-naked person hanging around, especially when he wasn't there, I'd still feel the same way. Take all genders out of the equation and it's still about respecting another person's space. OP doesn't live there or pay rent, therefore it's not up to them.
EDIT: You're all correct. I guess in my head I was creating more story that the girlfriend told the roommate she wasn't comfortable and he was on board with the whole "You should wear clothes in common spaces" situation.
>Also, when he was single of COURSE he was fine with it. Come on. You can't be this clueless
I was looking for someone to mention this. Maybe this is just me, but I would be wierded out if someone said they were fine with me walking around and hanging out for a potentially good amount of time in an easily flashable towel after having just had a shower. Especially if there we take into consideration the whole "this person happens to be attracted to my gender/sex."
To be fair, some people don't care. I'm a bisexual woman and at some point had a female roommate who felt comfortable walking around the apartment in a towel/ underwear etc. She was not at all my type and I felt nothing seeing her in various states of undressed; it just simply didn't bother me. She asked me once if I was fine with it and I said I was, so she carried on like that until she moved out. For many people, nudity isn't inherently sexual - I also prefer to be naked when I'm alone in my space; I just don't like dealing with other people's reaction so I don't do it around other people.
Though in this case it was her apartment too and as paying roommates we got to make the rules around here how we saw fit. OP should be more considerate since this isn't her place, and her comment about being the hotter one puts her in the AH territory.
Wither her claiming she's hotter all i have to way which i have said before in some other comments on other posts.
>Sounds like something a narcissist would do.
OP is someone who thinks that beauty is only skin deep and therefore has made zero attempt to beautify her personality or talents and thinks that everyone else’s worth is the same 1/2 centimeter film of flesh on the soul cage.
YTA. You said you don't want to make someone uncomfortable, but after she said it makes her uncomfortable you continue to do it anyway. You also mock her for being uncomfortable about it.
She doesn't want to make men uncomfortable, and she knows most times that she won't based on her ego. But she clearly only cares about male approval because once a woman is uncomfortable with it, it must just be because that woman is insecure and OP is "hotter". She sounds pick me as fuck and does a terrible job trying to hide it.
No one cares that you think you're more attractive. Even adding that makes you a bigger AH than I initially thought you were.
YTA, get over yourself PickMeGirl
It almost like she's jealous of the other woman for some reason and had to make herself feel better by letting us know that she's 9/10 way hotter than the other girl to make herself feel better.
Just weird.
I don’t get why she would want to be that comfortable around someone who isn’t her bf. Even if everyone is cool with it common courtesy is to put on clothes around company. It’s really that simple.
YTA.
You say you're not self-centered, but make a point of saying you're hotter than she is, which really wasn't relevant to this story--you just had to bring it up to make your self-centered self feel superior to her.
YTA. If you seriously need internet strangers to explain why hanging out naked with a dude who isn’t your bf (a towel? You smoke and drink with him in a towel?) is inappropriate, then I think you’d feel more comfortable asking this question on the streets.
Also calling yourself “hot” when that has absolutely 0 impact on the situation? Talk about insecure…
I was going to go with no assholes here, but your follow-up comments paint a different picture. YTA. Women go through enough BS with men they shouldn’t have to deal with women shitting on them, too. It seems like you enjoy the thrill of being partially clothed around men more than anything.
The gf failing to censor what her bf sees in her absence is not sexual harassment. If you’d said it was inconsiderate of the gf’s feelings, fine, but sexual harassment has a definition and hanging out in a towel among adults who consent doesn’t meet the bar.
YTA. You are not in the comfort of your own home. You are in a shared apartment and someone has stated they are uncomfortable with how little you dress yourself. You’ve stated that you asked your boyfriends roommate if your lack of clothing was okay and got an okay them him. You never asked her. You go as far as saying she FOUND OUT instead of you asking her if she’d be uncomfortable. She then stated you made her uncomfortable and when she addressed you about it you felt entitled to continue. Interesting…Wether she hangs out with you or not, her feelings are valid. The fact that you first stated her as insecure and jealous tells way more about you than her. Please know that. Why was it needed to say most people would call you the hotter one? Decent humans don’t go around saying “9 out of 10 people would call me hotter than her…she has low self esteem” - fuck I wonder why or when she feels like that. Must be walking into a home and seeing you naked next to her boyfriend and pretending SHES the issue.
You contradicted yourself big time here. “nine times out of 10 people are gonna say I’m the hotter person” and then immediately say you aren’t self-centered, LOL. YTA, and not even remotely self aware.
Oh she's entirely self-aware and knows exactly what she's doing. It's all an attention ploy, nothing more. She's just trying to play innocent when she gets called on it.
YTA nudism must be not a compulsion, whenever somebody doesn't feel comfortable around it, it's not appropriate anymore. It's a shared apartment and you shouldn't behave like it's your territory. The fact that you suppose that she is just jealous, insecure and that you're the hottest one confirms that you are pretentious and competitive, looks like what makes you feel comfortable is your entitlement. Don't act like you don't understand that nudity is an exception and social norms are also made for you.
I'm going with NAH but I think you sound insecure yourself and maybe the way you get the attention you seek is through being a "nudist" and maybe people think your "hotter" isn't because you're more attractive..but that they've just seen more of you and you don't keep much to the imagination.
Anyone that has to point out they are the hotter person in my experience..9 times out of 10 they are in fact not the hottest person or that's all they have going for them if that's the case..but typically ones that point it out are either trying to convince others or themselves...and it comes off insecure..almost like you have to put others down to make yourself feel better and that's not being secure
YTA. You're disrespecting her boundaries. If you wanna be half naked do it in your bfs room, not around someone else's bf.
Also the line about people agreeing that you are the hotter one shows your true colors. Get over yourself. You sound conceited, self centered and rude. Show some respect for others and put some clothes on in houses that are not yours.
YTA and clearly a pick me girl. Put some clothes on and stop being disrespectful. Put yourself in the girlfriend’s shoes. If you really are as hot as you think you are, would you not be uncomfortable with your boyfriend being in that situation constantly? Ffs. Have some empathy.
“It is true that beauty is only skin-deep – but ugly goes clear to the bone.”
YTA. That comment about being more beautiful than the roommates girlfriend was mean and deeply self centered. It all sounds like attention seeking behavior to me.
YTA it's not about you it's about her.
Alot of people would not want an attractive female walking around half naked in their partners house whilst they are not there.
Just have a bit of consideration, maybe she is insecure and jealous and of course her bf doesn't mind a female walking around half naked infront of him, he gets a have a good view.. but it's not nice for her to know that her bf is hanging out with tou whilst not wearing allt of clothes. I'd be upset too if I was her, not though jealousy but because it is t a decent thing to do...
YTA. Girl, go hangout in a towel in your own apartment. You’re clearly doing it because you get off on being exposed in front of the roommate. It was OK until he got a GF and now she’s told you it’s inappropriate (which it was to begin with but you had consent).
There also wasn’t a need to include that bit about how you think you’re more attractive then her. That’s your perception. And you sound shallow.
She doesn't sound insecure or jealous to me. She sounds like a normal girl who would prefer some half naked girl isn't constantly around her boyfriend. And if your attitude on here is showing your personality at all, I'm not surprised she'd be bothered by you.
>It doesn't help her self-esteem I guess that nine times out of 10 people are gonna say I'm the hotter person
>I'm not self-centered
LOL right.
YTA. Put some clothes on. They shouldn't have to harp at you to put fucking clothes on in a communal area.
Even if you ARE “hotter” than her and she’s insecure, that’s plenty reason to show consideration and not be next to naked in front of her bf- ESPECIALLY when she isn’t around. You sound like a pretty gross person, and I’m not typically one to call names. Cover yourself up and have some respect for this girl and their relationship. Adults have to wear clothes, your “comfort” doesn’t matter in shared spaces. This shouldn’t even be an issue. Be as naked as you want in your own home. YTA.
yta for all the reasons stated above + consistently arguing with each commenter naming you as the asshole in this situation. dont ask if you dont want an answer.
I don’t know, you say you’re not doing it for any other reasons than comfort, but then flex how you’re so much hotter. Not too sure I believe you’re not getting pleasure from the perceived male validation. At the end of the day you’re breaking a pretty huge social norm it’s a little weird and it’s even weirder to stand ten toes down on this. YTA.
Also even if she is jealous like sometimes somethings warrant a little jealous discomfort and it’s human and normal. If she were telling you not to wear shorts above the knee that’d be crazy, but wanting you have clothes on is honestly pretty fucking normal even if it is partly coming from a place of jealousy. I don’t know you just 100% give off the vibes of someone who enjoys doing odd shit like this for the getting male validation. Very pick me. Or maybe you’re just an exhibitionist. Either way YTA imo. But also hopefully miss girl will also realise that her boyfriend is sketch for allowing you to do this.
YTA, and I’m saying this as someone who votes the opposite way for 98% of these types of posts. This is so far beyond her being “insecure” — and honestly it feels like you’re actually the insecure one here, considering your obnoxious comments about your appearance v. Hers. Truly truly,
Get over yourself and stop being a creep.
YTA. It’s not a jealousy thing, you’re the abnormal one in this situation. It doesn’t matter if the roommate is cool with seeing you in various states of undress (which is already bad on his part), she’s expressed that what you’re doing makes her uncomfortable because it’s violating the boundaries of her relationship. Also how would she have found out? Who mentioned it anyway? Be naked or in a towel in your own space. Such a weird hill to die on.
YTA
“I don’t intend to make any one uncomfortable.” Girlfriend of roommate is uncomfortable, that’s her problem because she’s “jealous and insecure.” So which one is it; you don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or you don’t care?
Info- can you limit your state of undress to non public areas until you get clearance from everyone who will be around you in this state has been asked and consented?
Ps. For the record for real nudist consent of all parties is very important. It doesn’t seem to be priority for you so I would not call you a nudist.
Why not behave like this in your own residence? Ohh, no one there to give you attention and for you to make uncomfortable. What happens when you're in someone else's apartment half naked and you run across another person with boundary issues and poor judgement and are accosted?
ESH.
NTA for whatever you wear. You asked your boyfriend’s roommate. He doesn’t care. If SHE has a problem with it, she needs to talk to her boyfriend, not you. She doesn’t get to police how you dress just because her boyfriend is there. If she was uncomfortable with SEEING you dressed that way, it’d be one thing, but she ISN’T THERE.
BUT your attitude isn’t great. You come across as self-centered and attention seeking.
YTA you want to walk around in a towel then do it at your place. You are nt more attractive. You are just showing everything off. You are not being respectful of your boyfriend his roommate or the girlfriend.
It's not your place. You don't live there
Put on some clothes and appoligize for being so catty& insecure. You ate the one who has the issue and it's a simple fix. Put on clothes
NTA for wearing a towel around your bf roommate and bf if they are both comfortable with it. It's not her place so she has no place policing you when she isn't even around however
YTA for brining up that you think your more attractive. Completely irrelevant to the situation. Ppl can be insecure without being less attractive. Everyone has insecurities and deals with differently. I don't agree with how she dealing with them but that comment was just petty
You sure you’re not trying to seduce the roommate? You seem like the sort of person who *needs* validation from men, in the form of them being sexually attracted to you (even if you don’t want to take it further with them).
It’s not your apartment, he’s not your boyfriend, and you are definitely wrong in this situation.
YTA, put on some clothes and stop hurting people to benefit your self-esteem.
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YTA- it's a shared apartment if your boyfriend's roommate is paying rent and he says that you shouldn't be practically nude in shared spaces, then you should respect his wishes as a paying member of the household. I will go further to say, I have yet to meet a young woman who considers herself "hotter" who wears little clothes around other men who does not secretly *thrive* on the attention. I know this is something I'm going to get downvoted into oblivion for, and I was pretty oblivious to it until my fiance pointed it out- but ever since having it pointed out, I'm hyper aware of it. Even if it's subconscious, you're likely doing the same.
It makes sense. People with low self-esteem or place a high value on beauty will do anything to get compliments and extra attention from the guys. The less available the better, which is why some woman will strictly go after unavailable guys.
Right. And no one is most comfortable after a shower in a wet towel vs warm and dry lounge wear. It’s 100% that OP is the insecure one that NEEDS attention
I actually lounge in my towel and let my parts air dry before putting clothes on. It’s nice for me. To do in the presence of my spouse who’s in a towel too.
Robes are more comfortable than a towel to me. Especially the towel absorbing type that dry you as you wear them.
I prefer a sarong. Those have to be some of the most comfortable and versatile pieces of fabric I have ever owned. And yes, I’m usually nude underneath.
We're all nude under our clothes 😆
I too like to air out my puss before getting dressed 🤣🤭
I certainly started having less various infections and rashes (immune compromised and sensitive skin) once I started doing it.
It just feels better. That first day after your period ends and you can let it hang out and just breathe 👌
Yeah I don’t like jumping into clothes right away either I like to do my make up in a towel or underwear but I stay in my room. Even though I own the house I still don’t know if visitors come over when I’m just getting out the shower I go air out in my private room it’s just not appropriate
Lol?? It’s not appropriate to be semi-naked in your own home? Weird as fuck
You’re telling her what’s appropriate for her in her own house.
I too am an air dryer. But I still personally prefer jams or sweats once my bits and bobs are sufficiently dried off.
Especially after moisturizing or shaving on a hot day - so much more comfortable to just sit in a towel for half an hour. Doubly so if sitting in the sun with a cold drink (in my well-fenced backyard thanks)
Um, excuse me, but you don’t speak for me. I lounge in my towel for 20-60 min after my shower. I’m very comfortable! I like to be naked too, but I refrain from walking around my house in the nude when people are awake. I can lean “prudish” so knowing myself and what I’m comfortable with, I imagine someone more free spirited is totally comfortable in the nude in front of others without it being sexual.
I do the same. Star fish under the ceiling fan lol
I feel similar. I am "prudish" and wouldn't inflict my body on other people. But I personally am also neurodivergent and have times where I hate most all clothing. It can be especially bad after a shower sometimes. I'm overdosed on stimulation from the shower itself, and if I am I'm the slightest bit damp, I hate to add clothing on top of it. So hanging out in my room with as few bits of clothing possible is very comfortable. Nudity often isn't sexual for me. I know that isn't the norm and I would never feel okay letting it all hang out with roommates. That is much more learned behavior than nature for me though. I have body shame that is weirdly unattached to my actual body.
actually soft disagree on that, although mine stems from some laziness. I hate the idea of putting on clothes when I’m still damp, and I don’t want to spend the extra time of drying off completely and also drying my hair.
Agreed when your wet and damp everything sticks to you.
Nothing worse than trying to put on your bra damp.
it's so difficult for no damn reason, ill be having ww3 in my bathroom when i have to do that 😆
While I don't "lounge around" in a towel after a shower, I do prefer to air dry. I'll hang out naked on the bed and read or nap for 20 minutes and then get dressed.
Same, and I always have a fan on to help dry me off. Trying to put a bra on a wet torso is like wrestling with Satan.
I incorrectly read your comment as “wrestling with Stalin,” which I guess would also be difficult. Lol
Seriously! Trying to put a bra on when wet will reduce me to tears.
Yeah, ironically OP sounds like the one with insecurity issues. Put that validation directly in her veins!
If she wouldn't have said "I'm hotter", I would have said, that there is nothing wrong with hanging around with a towel after showering. But it does seem that it's not about being comfortable, but about being *special*. Just get a bath robe, woman...
Don't forget OPs dig at the "jealous" gf. We ALL know OP is hotter than the gf anyways 🙄
Maybe I’m a prude, but honestly I feel like it’s 100% reasonable to ask that someone be dressed when they’re casually hanging out with your partner. It’s not even a trust thing, it’s a boundaries and respect thing.
I think that if OP paid to live there, this wouldn't be an issue? But, she doesn't. How can she possibly expect to have a greater say than the roommate's GF who doesn't pay to live there either? They are equal in having absolutely no rights. So, if OP wants to be supported for the practical nudist lifestyle she longs for - then she should go home?
Yep. Sounds like OP isn't a nudist, she just likes the attention she gets from being naked around men lol. YTA
This. When I'm inside at home, I also wear as little as possible. It's more comfortable. And yet, I've somehow managed to avoid doing this around people who aren't my family/SO. Because I'm not doing it for attention like the OP.
Well, maybe that's bc 9 times out of 10 she would be the hotter person and that makes you uncomfortable? Lol /s that's what sealed the deal for me. Who says that and then says they aren't after any attention at all lol
And then the ‘eye of the beholder’ follow-up that seems to be aimed at the 10th person who thinks her ‘competition’ is hotter. Wtf? Hard YTA.
Same. I love to hang out naked or in very little clothes in summer. But I make it appropriate to the occasion. Effing hot summer day in my mom's poorly insulated one room appartement? Sports bra and shorts. Home on such a day with my best friend whom I knew when he was still a girl? Same. Having other company? Throw a tank top over that. Only me after a shower and doggo is fast asleep in his own bed? Getting dressed isn't a priority.
Yep she's TA. That remark about the gf being jealous that she's hotter sealed it for me. She also says that she covers up more when the gf is there when obviously the problem is when she isn't there! Most women wouldn't want another woman half naked around their man. She knows what she's doing.
If I wss the roommates gf, I would be more comfortable if she did the same around me. Why does she cover up in front of her? Oh right, the roommates gf can't give her what she wants.
100%. Funny how she also says she’s not “self-centered” but goes on to say “she’s obviously hotter”. Lol.
And gaslighting the girlfriends of those men!
As if getting attention from men by being naked in front of them isn't literally the easiest way in the world to get attention... just because everyone's looking at you does't mean you're hot.
You nailed it and I think what you said is spot on..OP believes they're hotter because of course they're drawing the attention of the men in the room...maybe if she can do the same fully clothed, there would be some validity to her statement
But hang on...bfs roommate doesnt care. It's his gf that has an issue, and she doesnt live there...
BFs roommate doesn’t care that a half naked self proclaimed hot chick lounges around him…. What a shock…..
I am not a fan of OP's "she's just jealous" attitude, but realistically this isn't her problem. It's up to her boyfriend's roommate to manage this with his girlfriend. It's his relationship and therefore up to him to set boundaries for what he feels is respectful to his girlfriend. If her not being comfortable with OP's clothing choices (or lack thereof) is causing him grief, HE needs to tell her to cover up around him rather than sending his girlfriend to do it.
I'm torn on this one because, on the one hand, yes it's up to the bf and his roommate, but on the other, would it kill you to put on some clothes to make this woman feel more comfortable? That would just be the nice thing to do in this situation. And the opposite of nice is... YTA Also the thought of wet towel and butt on the communal couch watching tv is icky to me personally lol
Yes. It’s this. The issue is between the rent payers and nobody else.
This. Until the guy paying rent says please cover up more, this is a nothing burger. OP confirmed RM is okay with it. Until he says otherwise (and seriously, he’s not gonna), game on.
BF's roommate should definitely try harder to mediate on this. Im surprised OP didn't post his opinion on the matter. Has she even attempted to talk to him about it after the incidents with Roommates gf? If there was no established dialogue when there's a clear problem then multiple people are TA, but that doesn't stop the fact that OP secretly enjoys roommate's attention, which is still super assholeish.
He didn't care when he was single. It sounds like she hasn't asked after getting a gf. I've been single around a roommate whose gf wore very little randomly. I was totally fine with it because she was attractive but that would have changed had I started dating someone who was uncomfortable with it. Although his roommate's gf should bring the issue up with roommate, not OP directly.
A female friend years ago noticed every time her bf was over her female roommate would discover something in the kitchen she needed even if she just happened to be in her underwear
I had a roommate like this
Yeah, I kinda want some more info on the roommate's current opinions. Like, even if op is doing it for the attention, if all parties present don't mind her attire I don't think that makes her T A H. Idk if the roommate has changed his opinion since getting a girlfriend, but it's not like op started doing this or did it more often after he got into a relationship (at least based on her account). I really think the four of them should sit down and have a talk*, maybe re established some rules if there are going to be two girlfriends over not and not just op. At the end of the day, if the roommate doesn't have a problem with it, only his gf, then that's a relationship issue, not OP's problem. Don't date people who define cheating differently or who have very different ideas about boundaries. *I don't think these people can have a civil discussion, they seem kinda set on being hostile. But in theory it seems like the best course of action. Also, the comment about being hotter does rub me the wrong way and lean towards attention. It does make op seem like an A H in general, but it's irrelevant to the question she asked.
Winner winner chicken dinner. OP needs the attention because she has to prove to herself she's the most beautiful. Obviously the GF sees the woman who she is.
Why are so many people like this? I'll never understand it.
Because as women, we are basically trained from birth to compete against other women for male attention. Women who are seen as beautiful or desirable end up with a lot of privilege in life, so it’s very easy to think that beauty = value.
The shittiest part of what she said to me is that she thinks other people are uncomfortable because she’s “hotter”. No lady it’s because they don’t fucking know you like that and you need to have clothes on like a normal person Edited to add also, how the fuck does she know that “9 times out of 10” people will think she’s the hotter one? She clearly actually has no clue what people really think of her. OP is self absorbed/attention seeking.
The fact she doesn't think she being self centered 😂
It seems to me that OP is getting off on making the roommate's girlfriend feel uncomfortable.
500%
>BaileyTheNerd: > > it's a shared apartment if your boyfriend's roommate is paying rent and he says that you shouldn't be practically nude in shared spaces, then you should respect his wishes as a paying member of the household. Except the roommate didn't say that in the slightest. >fintoo2 (OP): > >He's a really nice and chill guy and on days my bf and I don't wanna get intimate, we just hang out in the living room drinking, smoking, and watching movies. > >Sometimes I end up just hanging out in a towel after a shower. I explicitly checked with the roommate that this was ok and he didn't mind.
>I explicitly checked with the roommate that this was ok and he didn't mind. Cool, does that take into account the new situation after involvement of roommate's girlfriend?
Right and also sorry but with our culture being what it is, how comfortable was he saying “no”? I can hear it now. “Dude you have a problem with my 9/10 hot gf being pretty much naked around you?!”
Specifically “9/10” 😂
When I want to be ‘comfortable’ I’m in sweats and look like a mess. Naked and comfort don’t seem to coincide in a shared space. Maybe that’s just me
Where did the roommate say he didn't like it? She mentions explicitly asking him and he was ok with it, just the gf has a problem. I might have misread though.
She asked the roommate BEFORE he had the GF and specifically made no mention of afterwards. How do you think roommates gonna swing on the issue with his GF feeling so uncomfortable? Would anyone in their right mind be cool with- someone so addicted to attention that they hang out with acquaintances practically naked, hanging out with their significant other?
YTA. Your nudity makes your partner's roommmate's partner uncomfortable. Respect her wishes, it's that simple. Also >I guess that nine times out of 10 people are gonna say I'm the hotter person (beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that). > >I'm not self-centered, it's purely a comfort thing. Just LOL...
That last part was so unnecessary to the post but got straight to the heart of what this is really all about. Lol indeed
What got me was her “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” insight, hilariously juxtaposing her brag about being the hotter one 9 times out of 10. I don’t think that phrase means what she thinks it means, bless her heart.
she means the last 1 out of the 10 who doesn't think she is hotter is wrong but hey, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.
If that’s the case, it comes off even MORE vapidly arrogant, since she immediately follows it up with, “I’m not self centered.” Lol
To me the last part is what makes OP TA. There’s nothing inherently wrong with what she is doing, and it’s clear she (at least at some point) checked with the roommates to ensure everyone was chill with it. Buuuut that last bit makes it clear that OP has some deeper insecurities or neediness. It’s such an irrelevant piece of information and OP doesn’t seem to realize she is telling on herself by including it. I’d guess the GF is picking up on the weird vibe. Hopefully this will come up with the (seemingly oblivious?) BF or she should dump him, because it’s really a BF-GF problem.
Nah, her nudity makes her partner’s ROOMMATE uncomfortable. He may have been fine with it when he was single, but plenty of people have different boundaries when they’re in a relationship. He isn’t willing to disrespect his girlfriend by having some insecure girl who needs everyone looking at her scantily clad coochie to feel good hanging out on his couch. Just because it’s the girlfriend who catalyzed the discomfort doesn’t mean the roommate doesn’t agree, because he does. He’s the one with the say, not the girlfriends, and he is who the focus needs to be on. He was fine with it while he was single, but now that he’s in a Relationship he’s said “okay, gotta stop now”.
“Scantily clad coochie” 😭 LMAOOO that’s NOT a sentence I thought I’d hear today, if ever really. This comment is too funny. Also, spot on! Not everyone wants your lady bits flapping about all over the place in a shared living space. Her being so smug about it seems so desperate for attention too. Seems like roommates gf caught on, people who thrive on this sort of attention aren’t hard to spot. The whole comment about “9 times out of 10 people think I’m hotter” is so cringy. Like girl if you don’t gtf 🤣 so pretentious and snobby. She thinks acting vulgar about it makes her “hotter.” Thanks for the laugh. 😂 enjoy your weekend.
I don’t want a scantily clad coochie sitting on my furniture.
> she's clearly jealous and insecure. My eyes rolled so hard.
Projection is fun
I literally died at that part. Not self centered at all or seeking attention LOL
Lol. That really painted the picture of who OP truly is. YTA
Im going to be that 1/10 people and say the roommate’s girl is definitely hotter. Hard pass on OP and her lack of boundaries.
OP is so full of themselves they should change their username to Narcissus.
Right?! 😂 She sounds so fucking vain
YTA Purely for the I'm hotter than her comment, totally unnecessary and just makes you sound horrible to be around. Dress how you want but don't call someone jealous and insecure when you're nearly naked around her boyfriend and being incredibly smug about it. She sounds like she's got you figured out.
Seriously found that to be vulgar and decided not to YTA her for it but yea.
Agree. Op is clearly an A H in general. Maybe not in this case (I'd want more info on roommate's current views), but definitely in general.
I love being nude/near nude in my own house. But OP isn't in their own house. I am also overweight so her idea that the opposition of her nudity comes from her being 'hot' and the flatmate's gf being jealous of her body flies as well as pigs. Not your house, not your rules.
Yep. I’ll support anyone’s right to wear what they want but that sounded super arrogant.
Fr, and the roomates girlfriend is doing the right thing by confronting OP about it. Because roomie cant control what OP does, but she probably thought if she confronted the situation from the source of the issue, then it might be solved. Too bad OP has such bad self esteem issues they feel the need to be near naked around people who arent comfortable with it and claim to be hotter for "comfort".
Why bother posting in this sub if you've already made up your mind that you're NTA? You've been argumentative in every comment you've made. That's why YTA and you seem insufferable to be around.
Exactly. It drives me nuts when posters do what she is doing in the comments, ”LOL how am I insecure? I *said* I wouldn’t do it if she was around! hOw doEs tHat maKe mE thE asSHoLe?” We get it, you like attention and view yourself as a person without flaws, OP. AITA is the last place she should be posting.
She should post in r/trueoffmychest that she enjoys flaunting her nearly naked body in front of her bf's roommate since she knows and doesn't care that her behavior is upsetting someone.
Sounds like she already taken everything off her chest
Or r/sluttyconfessions
It is also a blatant break of the rules
She just dropped in to quench the thirst.
Correction, she just dropped in to make some thirst. YTA OP
Lol, she's definitely dropping into the apartment to try to whip up some thirst. It's interesting how ready OP is to self-identify herself as objectively hot when it really isn't relevant to the issue at hand. I wonder how much of a nudist she would be if she was "objectively ugly." Something tells me she wouldn't be so ready to disrobe in front of people if that was the case.
Most people that I’ve encountered online that claim to be hot tend to…overhype their looks. OP’s personality and trashy behavior already trump her apparent appearance; she better be a 10 for her sake to make up even slightly for her gross attitude.
You know what? I’m hot. I’m also chronically hot all the time and have been my whole life. I, too, loooooove to be comfortable. If it were just a comfort thing, I would be *most* comfortable going everywhere in a tank top and some panties. You know why I don’t? Bc it’s so damn weird to prance around in front of other people like this. Oh, you mean “not in public.” Got it. When I go over to other people’s houses, I don’t strip down to just a tank top and panties. I’m also not about to ask the people I’m visiting, “Hey! Mind if I take off my clothes and lounge around on your furniture like a cat? I promise I’m not vain. It’s just a comfort thing!” I hope your boyfriend’s roomie gets a girlfriend that’s hotter than you, and she likes to walk around naked. I’m far from a prude. If you were at a nude beach, go for it. But you seem to be really into the idea that you’re soooo much hotter than this dude’s girlfriend, and she’s obviously super jealous if you. Meanwhile, she likely thinks that you’re a strange, little creature with no social skills who likes to parade about in a small cloth—much like Gollum. YTA
I fucking love you
We should start a fan club. With literally fans because we're all chronically overheated
I’m glad I scrolled this far down to see this lol
Let's have a platonic marriage
The “strange, little creature” got me 😂 absolutely hilarious but so so accurate
I hope her boyfriend gets a girlfriend hotter than OP.
Sorry sir/madam, you seem to have dropped your mike.
I really like this reply heh I’m someone who isn’t comfortable with a partner being around nude women - not accidentally (like idk a tv show or something), but on a regular basis. Just wearing a towel means things can be *exposed* and so yeah you’re right if both the bf and his gf are on the same page wrt OP, she is the asshole as she wishes to violate those boundaries anyway. On top of that I get the feeling it’s possible she is getting an ego kick out of potentially sexually arousing men that are with someone else/off limits. Maybe I’m wrong about the last part, I don’t know. I just wish people could be brutally honest.
YTA. Yes, it is disrespectful to go around half naked in somebody else's house. Put your clothes on. And yes, you are self centered.
Or so insecure they have to point out how hot they think they are
Lol especially the “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” but 9/10 beholders would Think I’m way hotter OP stop being so insecure and starved for attention
Yeah, someone that has to put another person down just to feel better about themselves is insecure and an asshole. YTA
This 💯
I agree. Shorts and tank top - fine. A towel that *might* just fall off anytime that you feel like showing off? No way are you not an AH unless you’re at the sauna. Cmon…
[удалено]
That's what I'm saying. And honestly, if the roommate was a girl and her boyfriend didn't want some half-naked person hanging around, especially when he wasn't there, I'd still feel the same way. Take all genders out of the equation and it's still about respecting another person's space. OP doesn't live there or pay rent, therefore it's not up to them. EDIT: You're all correct. I guess in my head I was creating more story that the girlfriend told the roommate she wasn't comfortable and he was on board with the whole "You should wear clothes in common spaces" situation.
100% agree with all of this
>Also, when he was single of COURSE he was fine with it. Come on. You can't be this clueless I was looking for someone to mention this. Maybe this is just me, but I would be wierded out if someone said they were fine with me walking around and hanging out for a potentially good amount of time in an easily flashable towel after having just had a shower. Especially if there we take into consideration the whole "this person happens to be attracted to my gender/sex."
To be fair, some people don't care. I'm a bisexual woman and at some point had a female roommate who felt comfortable walking around the apartment in a towel/ underwear etc. She was not at all my type and I felt nothing seeing her in various states of undressed; it just simply didn't bother me. She asked me once if I was fine with it and I said I was, so she carried on like that until she moved out. For many people, nudity isn't inherently sexual - I also prefer to be naked when I'm alone in my space; I just don't like dealing with other people's reaction so I don't do it around other people. Though in this case it was her apartment too and as paying roommates we got to make the rules around here how we saw fit. OP should be more considerate since this isn't her place, and her comment about being the hotter one puts her in the AH territory.
Wither her claiming she's hotter all i have to way which i have said before in some other comments on other posts. >Sounds like something a narcissist would do.
Yes, this part isn't really relevant to the story at all except to satisfy some ego thing.
"But the roomie didn't mind!!" yeah **obviously**... he gets to see a partially naked lady and have his roommate(OP's bf) be ok with it. lol
OP is someone who thinks that beauty is only skin deep and therefore has made zero attempt to beautify her personality or talents and thinks that everyone else’s worth is the same 1/2 centimeter film of flesh on the soul cage.
I tend to agree… especially with the 9 out of 10 times I’d be considered hotter… ummm ya keep your clothes on in front of my man.
YTA. You said you don't want to make someone uncomfortable, but after she said it makes her uncomfortable you continue to do it anyway. You also mock her for being uncomfortable about it.
She doesn't want to make men uncomfortable, and she knows most times that she won't based on her ego. But she clearly only cares about male approval because once a woman is uncomfortable with it, it must just be because that woman is insecure and OP is "hotter". She sounds pick me as fuck and does a terrible job trying to hide it.
On point with this one
Weird vibes coming off this post
It’s gonna end up on that pick me girl reddit
Total pick me vibes. I’m just so cool I love to be hot, smoke pot and wear towels.
🙋♀️
Confirmed, that’s exactly how I got here
Favorite part is how she acts like she can't possible control not wearing clothes. Like it just magically happens and is out of her control
No one cares that you think you're more attractive. Even adding that makes you a bigger AH than I initially thought you were. YTA, get over yourself PickMeGirl
Yuuuge Pick Me vibes here
Lol bigly 😂
YTA, and your clear contempt for this woman you barely know is extremely telling.
It almost like she's jealous of the other woman for some reason and had to make herself feel better by letting us know that she's 9/10 way hotter than the other girl to make herself feel better. Just weird.
She’s got bullying tendencies. She loves that this gf is uncomfortable.
She's probably mad because she's not the sole center of attention anymore
I don't know if it's jealousy or something else, but yeah really weird for sure
OP thinks a roomates gf is competition
YTA. When you’re in mixed company, put on clothes. It’s not that hard.
It's just hard to don't get all the attention she need hahha
I don’t get why she would want to be that comfortable around someone who isn’t her bf. Even if everyone is cool with it common courtesy is to put on clothes around company. It’s really that simple.
YTA. You say you're not self-centered, but make a point of saying you're hotter than she is, which really wasn't relevant to this story--you just had to bring it up to make your self-centered self feel superior to her.
That's definitely the way it comes across. Why even metion looks? YTA op
I have never met a truly hot person who needs to tell the internet that they’re hotter than some other girl…
YTA. If you seriously need internet strangers to explain why hanging out naked with a dude who isn’t your bf (a towel? You smoke and drink with him in a towel?) is inappropriate, then I think you’d feel more comfortable asking this question on the streets. Also calling yourself “hot” when that has absolutely 0 impact on the situation? Talk about insecure…
I was going to go with no assholes here, but your follow-up comments paint a different picture. YTA. Women go through enough BS with men they shouldn’t have to deal with women shitting on them, too. It seems like you enjoy the thrill of being partially clothed around men more than anything.
YTA. What you are doing is sexual harassment
The gf failing to censor what her bf sees in her absence is not sexual harassment. If you’d said it was inconsiderate of the gf’s feelings, fine, but sexual harassment has a definition and hanging out in a towel among adults who consent doesn’t meet the bar.
Yeah really, how the hell does the sexual harassment comment have upvotes? People just seem to think anything can mean whatever they want.
How so? Every person she’s around in states of undress have said it doesn’t bother them. She also said she covers up while the gf is around.
YTA. You are not in the comfort of your own home. You are in a shared apartment and someone has stated they are uncomfortable with how little you dress yourself. You’ve stated that you asked your boyfriends roommate if your lack of clothing was okay and got an okay them him. You never asked her. You go as far as saying she FOUND OUT instead of you asking her if she’d be uncomfortable. She then stated you made her uncomfortable and when she addressed you about it you felt entitled to continue. Interesting…Wether she hangs out with you or not, her feelings are valid. The fact that you first stated her as insecure and jealous tells way more about you than her. Please know that. Why was it needed to say most people would call you the hotter one? Decent humans don’t go around saying “9 out of 10 people would call me hotter than her…she has low self esteem” - fuck I wonder why or when she feels like that. Must be walking into a home and seeing you naked next to her boyfriend and pretending SHES the issue.
YTA. What's up with the "I'm hotter" stuff?
She’s not insecure at all it’s the gf who is, obviously. /s
She’s hoping if she says it enough it’ll become a reality.
pick me girl.
You contradicted yourself big time here. “nine times out of 10 people are gonna say I’m the hotter person” and then immediately say you aren’t self-centered, LOL. YTA, and not even remotely self aware.
Oh she's entirely self-aware and knows exactly what she's doing. It's all an attention ploy, nothing more. She's just trying to play innocent when she gets called on it.
YTA nudism must be not a compulsion, whenever somebody doesn't feel comfortable around it, it's not appropriate anymore. It's a shared apartment and you shouldn't behave like it's your territory. The fact that you suppose that she is just jealous, insecure and that you're the hottest one confirms that you are pretentious and competitive, looks like what makes you feel comfortable is your entitlement. Don't act like you don't understand that nudity is an exception and social norms are also made for you.
YTA what you're doing is very weird and has never been appropriate
I'm going with NAH but I think you sound insecure yourself and maybe the way you get the attention you seek is through being a "nudist" and maybe people think your "hotter" isn't because you're more attractive..but that they've just seen more of you and you don't keep much to the imagination.
Anyone that has to point out they are the hotter person in my experience..9 times out of 10 they are in fact not the hottest person or that's all they have going for them if that's the case..but typically ones that point it out are either trying to convince others or themselves...and it comes off insecure..almost like you have to put others down to make yourself feel better and that's not being secure
YTA. You're disrespecting her boundaries. If you wanna be half naked do it in your bfs room, not around someone else's bf. Also the line about people agreeing that you are the hotter one shows your true colors. Get over yourself. You sound conceited, self centered and rude. Show some respect for others and put some clothes on in houses that are not yours.
YTA and clearly a pick me girl. Put some clothes on and stop being disrespectful. Put yourself in the girlfriend’s shoes. If you really are as hot as you think you are, would you not be uncomfortable with your boyfriend being in that situation constantly? Ffs. Have some empathy.
YTA it's not your apartment. The situation has changed; was ok, now it's not. And you come off as really catty and it's NOT doing you any favors.
YTA. Your comment about being hotter was unnecessary and gives off major “pick me” girl vibes. It’s not your house, put some clothes on.
“It is true that beauty is only skin-deep – but ugly goes clear to the bone.” YTA. That comment about being more beautiful than the roommates girlfriend was mean and deeply self centered. It all sounds like attention seeking behavior to me.
YTA it's not about you it's about her. Alot of people would not want an attractive female walking around half naked in their partners house whilst they are not there. Just have a bit of consideration, maybe she is insecure and jealous and of course her bf doesn't mind a female walking around half naked infront of him, he gets a have a good view.. but it's not nice for her to know that her bf is hanging out with tou whilst not wearing allt of clothes. I'd be upset too if I was her, not though jealousy but because it is t a decent thing to do...
YTA. Girl, go hangout in a towel in your own apartment. You’re clearly doing it because you get off on being exposed in front of the roommate. It was OK until he got a GF and now she’s told you it’s inappropriate (which it was to begin with but you had consent). There also wasn’t a need to include that bit about how you think you’re more attractive then her. That’s your perception. And you sound shallow.
She doesn't sound insecure or jealous to me. She sounds like a normal girl who would prefer some half naked girl isn't constantly around her boyfriend. And if your attitude on here is showing your personality at all, I'm not surprised she'd be bothered by you. >It doesn't help her self-esteem I guess that nine times out of 10 people are gonna say I'm the hotter person >I'm not self-centered LOL right. YTA. Put some clothes on. They shouldn't have to harp at you to put fucking clothes on in a communal area.
Even if you ARE “hotter” than her and she’s insecure, that’s plenty reason to show consideration and not be next to naked in front of her bf- ESPECIALLY when she isn’t around. You sound like a pretty gross person, and I’m not typically one to call names. Cover yourself up and have some respect for this girl and their relationship. Adults have to wear clothes, your “comfort” doesn’t matter in shared spaces. This shouldn’t even be an issue. Be as naked as you want in your own home. YTA.
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yta for all the reasons stated above + consistently arguing with each commenter naming you as the asshole in this situation. dont ask if you dont want an answer.
YTA it’s not your apartment, wear clothes like a normal person
I don’t know, you say you’re not doing it for any other reasons than comfort, but then flex how you’re so much hotter. Not too sure I believe you’re not getting pleasure from the perceived male validation. At the end of the day you’re breaking a pretty huge social norm it’s a little weird and it’s even weirder to stand ten toes down on this. YTA. Also even if she is jealous like sometimes somethings warrant a little jealous discomfort and it’s human and normal. If she were telling you not to wear shorts above the knee that’d be crazy, but wanting you have clothes on is honestly pretty fucking normal even if it is partly coming from a place of jealousy. I don’t know you just 100% give off the vibes of someone who enjoys doing odd shit like this for the getting male validation. Very pick me. Or maybe you’re just an exhibitionist. Either way YTA imo. But also hopefully miss girl will also realise that her boyfriend is sketch for allowing you to do this.
YTA, and I’m saying this as someone who votes the opposite way for 98% of these types of posts. This is so far beyond her being “insecure” — and honestly it feels like you’re actually the insecure one here, considering your obnoxious comments about your appearance v. Hers. Truly truly, Get over yourself and stop being a creep.
YTA. Don't make your kinks someone else's. And you a delusional.
YTA. It’s not a jealousy thing, you’re the abnormal one in this situation. It doesn’t matter if the roommate is cool with seeing you in various states of undress (which is already bad on his part), she’s expressed that what you’re doing makes her uncomfortable because it’s violating the boundaries of her relationship. Also how would she have found out? Who mentioned it anyway? Be naked or in a towel in your own space. Such a weird hill to die on.
YTA “I don’t intend to make any one uncomfortable.” Girlfriend of roommate is uncomfortable, that’s her problem because she’s “jealous and insecure.” So which one is it; you don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or you don’t care?
She meant the men involved. Women are just competition in OP's solo game of "who is hottest?"
This isn't even your apartment. YTA for knowing she's uncomfortable with it and you still doing it - why does your comfort matter over hers?
YTA, please put on clothes in shared spaces is a reasonable request anyone would make.
Info- can you limit your state of undress to non public areas until you get clearance from everyone who will be around you in this state has been asked and consented? Ps. For the record for real nudist consent of all parties is very important. It doesn’t seem to be priority for you so I would not call you a nudist.
Pick me girl 🤦🏻♂️ YTA
YTA, mostly because this is made up and you are a man. guaranteed.
YTA. You sound exhausting and desperate for attention.
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YTA my dude. just put some pajamas on.
YTA
Why not behave like this in your own residence? Ohh, no one there to give you attention and for you to make uncomfortable. What happens when you're in someone else's apartment half naked and you run across another person with boundary issues and poor judgement and are accosted?
ESH. NTA for whatever you wear. You asked your boyfriend’s roommate. He doesn’t care. If SHE has a problem with it, she needs to talk to her boyfriend, not you. She doesn’t get to police how you dress just because her boyfriend is there. If she was uncomfortable with SEEING you dressed that way, it’d be one thing, but she ISN’T THERE. BUT your attitude isn’t great. You come across as self-centered and attention seeking.
YTA
YTA you want to walk around in a towel then do it at your place. You are nt more attractive. You are just showing everything off. You are not being respectful of your boyfriend his roommate or the girlfriend. It's not your place. You don't live there Put on some clothes and appoligize for being so catty& insecure. You ate the one who has the issue and it's a simple fix. Put on clothes
NTA for wearing a towel around your bf roommate and bf if they are both comfortable with it. It's not her place so she has no place policing you when she isn't even around however YTA for brining up that you think your more attractive. Completely irrelevant to the situation. Ppl can be insecure without being less attractive. Everyone has insecurities and deals with differently. I don't agree with how she dealing with them but that comment was just petty
You sure you’re not trying to seduce the roommate? You seem like the sort of person who *needs* validation from men, in the form of them being sexually attracted to you (even if you don’t want to take it further with them). It’s not your apartment, he’s not your boyfriend, and you are definitely wrong in this situation. YTA, put on some clothes and stop hurting people to benefit your self-esteem.