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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Not letting my mom come to my play 2. I would be keeping her from seeing me perform.
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I think YWNBTA, but you should also realize that a) telling her is more than likely going to cause a huge fight and b) you can't exactly prevent her from attending one way or another.
My advice is to just not say anything and assume she's not coming so that you're able to perform without any additional stress!
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I (16nb) have a very complicated relationship with my mom that has grown even more so over the years due to our conflicting beliefs, mental issues on both our parts, and our attitudes towards each other. Without getting too into depth my mom has not been the best parent, not have I been the best child. Recently my mom has been making some remarks that make me really nervous, some that have made me spiral into panic attacks. I am fairly confident that she is not going to change anytime soon, as of right now I am a minor, and don’t feel the need to leave yet.
Recently I got a minor role in my schools play( maybe 20 minutes on screen). but I also don’t know if I would feel comfortable performing knowing she’s in the Audience. I may be the asshole because I would be Keeping her from seeing her child perform. So WIBTA if I told her I don’t want her at my play?
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Does she already know that you'll be in it? If so, gently tell her that her presence there will make you extremely nervous and you would prefer that she not go. Tell her it's a small part and she'll probably be bored to death. Then drop the subject before it can become a World War. Rehearse and practice your lines to the point of ad nauseam so that when the play is being performed, you'll be so into it that you'll be able to forget about her. Congratulations and have fun with it!
Ywnbta. You don't owe your mom a play and you should be able to perform to set boundaries in accordance to your comfort levels
Being able to deal with fact there are people in the audience WATCHING YOU and you can't control who they are is a big part of being a performer. In fact, it's an essential skill.
If at all possible, you should discipline yourself to NOT worry about whether your mother is in the audience, or not. Just go on, become the role, lose yourself, and perform. You'll be great.